The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Sean Spicer's Sketchy "Dancing with the Stars" Strategy | Amy Klobuchar

Episode Date: October 31, 2019

Sean Spicer appeals to conservatives for a "Dancing with the Stars" victory, Ronny Chieng lashes out at Halloween, and Sen. Amy Klobuchar discusses her 2020 presidential bid. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. October 30, 2019. From Comedy Central's World News headquarters in New York,

this is the Danisha everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you for coming out. So good you're having, thank you. Let's do it. Let's make a show. I'm Trevor Noah. Our guest tonight is a presidential candidate from the great state of Minnesota, Senator Amy Klobucharge, joining us everybody. to thanks. tolobuchar is joining us everybody. Also on tonight's show, Barack Obama is back. Ronnie Chang has the Halloween spirit and Sean Spicer is rigging the election. So let's catch up on today's headlines.

Let's kick it off with Barack Obama, the 44th and as far as I'm concerned, only black presidents of the United States. He's been pretty quiet since leaving office, but every now and then he likes to remind us of what we're missing. Barack and Michelle Obama holding their third annual Obama Foundation Summit. The former president talked about being a little too pious about politics. This idea of purity and you're never compromised and you're always politically boke and all that stuff, you should get over that quickly.

The world is messy. There are ambiguities. People who do really good stuff have flaws. Like if I tweet or hashtag about how you didn't do something right or use the word wrong verb or then I can sit back and feel pretty good about myself because man you see how a woke I was I called you up. If all you're doing is casting stones, you know, you're probably not going to get that far.

Man, wow. You know, when you watch that, you really remember that American presidents used to speak English. Also, I'm loving this whole relaxed Obama-No-tie swag. You see that thing? It's almost like Trump has set him free because he can never look worse than Trump. Now he's just chilled. He doesn't care.

He's like, oh, you don't think this looks presidential enough? Uh, okay, what if I tucked my shirt into my front butt? Is that the dignity you want? Is that what you want? I'm not thi, thi, thi, I hear what Obama is saying, but I'm not sure if he should be dismissing hashtag activism. A lot of real movements have blown up online. You know, Black Lives Matter, the Me Too Movement, man crush Mondays. You know? Yeah, in the old days you have to wait until Friday to crush

her on hot men. Social media has changed that. But at the same time, I get get I get I get I get I get the thia, I get thia, I get thia, I get what Obama is saying. If you believe in a just cause, you can't just sit at home ranting on Twitter. It doesn't make you an activist, makes you the President of the United States. Speaking of which, let's move on to Donald J. Trump, the 45th and as far as I'm concerned, only current President of the United States. Because while Obama was talking about fake canceling online, Trump might get canceled in real life. A dramatic new revelation in the impeachment inquiry from Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Vinman, who was on that controversial July phone call between President Trump and Ukraine's leader.

The New York Times reporting overnight that Vinman told House investigators Tuesday that the rough transcript of the call released by the White House omitted crucial words and phrases. That explosive new testimony directly contradicting President Trump. I had a transcript done by very, very talented people, word for word, comma for comma, done by people that do it for a living. We had an exact transcript. Commer for comma.

Yeah, that's when we should have known he was lying. No, when has Trump ever used commas? Like, ever since he came down that escalator. It's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it known he was lying. No, when has Trump ever used commas? Like, ever since he came down that escalator, it's been one four and a half year long sentence. That's all it's been. Like, I've never heard a Donald Trump sentence and thought, yeah, there's punctuation involved there. In fact, it seems like when Obama left the commerce, he took all the commas with him. He was like, I'll take this one and this one and give me the ellipsies as well. And then Trump was like, now there's none left. For

me, I can't pause when I speak. This is total chaos. So much. Chaos. Nonstop. Never stop. Never at all. I try. I can't. No pause for me, not good. So, this development looks bad for Trump. And he's really got to hate that Colonel Vinman wore his military uniform when testifying, because it's hard to fight against that. I wouldn't be surprised if next time Trump shows up, decorated with his own achievements, which is basically a sign that says I banged a porn star. And finally, moving on.

It's the end of October, which means it's time to start fighting about Christmas. It's a Christmas classic, but in this Me Too era, Baby It's Cold Outside sends the wrong message. I simply must go. Baby it's cold outside. The answer is no. The Christmas classic, Baby It's Cold Outside, is getting a Me Too makeover.

John Legend has announced he's re-recording the song with Kelly Clarkson, with more appropriate lyrics. The new lyrics go this way. What will my friends think? Since Clarkson, I think they should rejoice, Legend responds, if I have one more drink, it's your body and your choice. Okay, that's maybe a little too woke. I feel like Obama's about a pop-up like, now what did I tell you people? Come on, huh?

But to be honest, to be honest, this isn't a bad idea. Yeah, because who watches that old scene and feels comfortable other than Harvey Weinstein? Like, she says no. So I think it's time tha tha tha tha that that that that thi that that that thi that tho tho that that tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thoomo thi thi thoomoomoom-a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that Harvey Weinstein. Like she says no. So I think it's time to update that song. In fact, I think we should update other problematic songs as well, all of them. Yeah, and we can still listen and enjoy them like that Robin Thick song that could just be blurred lines. Let's make them sharper. Yeah, then we're just like clarifying consent. And we definitely need to redo all of our Kelly songs, huh? My mind's telling me no. And I'm listening to my mind because my body doesn't want to go to jail.

We just redo all of them. It'll work. All right, that's it for the headlines. Let's move on. Top story. Let's talk about the White House. Under Donald Trump, they have gone through more employees than the Hulk goes through button-down shirts. And it's always interesting to see where former Trump staffers end up. Some of them writes tell-all books.

Some become contributors on Fox, and most of them end up in jail. But one of the more interesting post-Trump journeys has been that of Sean Spicer. Former White House Press Secretary and the human version of a clammy handshake. After he left the White House, he did something no one else did. He decided to dance. It's official. The new cast of Dancing with the Stars was announced today, and one of the celebrities putting on his dancing shoes is former White House press secretary Sean Spicer. I hope what this show is at the end of the season is an example of people of a bunch of

different backgrounds getting together, leaving politics aside and having a good time in a civil and respectful way. I think too much of what we have in this country right now is every conversation has to turn into politics. You know, that's actually a beautiful sentiment. I actually agree with past few spice over here, because in the past few years, everything has become politicized. Our food, our sports, even our kids' cartoons, ever since Dora the Explorer got arrested

by ice, it hasn't been the same. She's like, I wasn't crossing illegally, I just liked to explore. To be fair, she did have marijuana in her backpack, but that was the monkeys. That was the monkeys. But believe it or not, since he joined the cast of Dancing with the Stars, Sean Spicer has brought everyone together. It's just to laugh at his terrible dancing. At the bottom, Sean and Lindsay. At the bottom are Sean and Lindsay. And at the bottom are Sean and Lindsay. And at the bottom are Sean and Lindsay.

Dancing doesn't come easy to you. It looked like they were set in cement to your hips. Technically, it wasn't, you know, great. You are just a little bit robotic. What were you doing that? It was like being attacked by a swarm of wasth. You gotta admit, it is fun to watch the judges dragging him. Like, I actually wish every Trump official had to go through this after

leaving the White House. Yeah, just be like the judge the judge the judge the judge thetrying to shed its skin. He's like, oh I wasn't dancing, I did just shed my skin. SOTOM. SOTOMAYOR. But those judges are right about spicy. But those judges are right. Not only was he bad at length of the press. It turns out his hips also can't lie for shit. In fact, I'm not thiiiiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi, thi. tho- thoom just the press. It turns out his hips also can't lie for shit.

In fact, I'm not even sure that he has hips. I wouldn't be surprised if underneath that stupid outfit he just has the body of a Lego, like that's what it is. So look, Sean Spicer has clearly been the worst dancer on the show, and possibly in history ever. He's been getting the lowest scores and should have been gone a long time ago, but dancing with the stars factors in both scores and the viewer votes at home. So once it became clear that he wasn't going to win over the judges, Sean Spicer decided,

screw the whole non-political kumbaya crap, and he started going on the far right website, BrightBot to turn this dance competition into a full-on civil war. This is not just about me. This is hopefully just about me, this is hopefully about really something bigger. People want to see me advance, not because of me in particular, but I think that they feel the cause that one of their own, one of us has an opportunity to be this, and it's not just the loudest voices on the left that get to dominate. There's a lot of folks on the left that don't believe that people on the right have a place

in their, what they consider their society. Okay, I haven't said this in a while, but Sean Spicer, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, first of all, first of all, people on the left don't care if a conservative wins dancing with the stars. Trust me, when it comes to the liberal agenda, dancing does not make their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the conservative wins dancing with the stars. Trust me when it comes to the liberal agenda dancing does not make the list. You won't see Bernie Sanders on stage like college should be free, health care should be a human right and the taxa should go, done, done, done, done, done. We've got to fight for that. But once again I guess Sean Spicer has lied to America, because now he's totally making this thing political.

He's trying to convince people the only way to free conservatives from persecution is to help him win a reality dance competition. That's not how things work. Nelson Mandela was never like, to fight the oppression of apartheid, we will be joining season 23 of Top Chef. That's not a thing. And Spicer hasn't only lasted this long on the show by turning this into a culture wall. He's also basically resorted to election fraud. You can vote tonight 20 times. Ten times text Sean to 215-2-3. Keep hitting Send. Just type Sean over and over again and hit send until it tells you you've maxed out that a a a that that that that that that that that that that that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not a that's not that's not that's not a that's not that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not that's not a that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not, that's not, that's not th. th. That's not th. That's not th's not not not thi. That's not a thi's not a thi's not a thi's not a thi's not a thi's not a thi's not a thi's not a thi's not a thi's not a thi's not a thi's not a thimes text Sean to 21523. Keep hitting send. Just type Sean over and over

again and hit send until it tells you you've maxed out of 10. You get another 10 votes by going to ABC.com. Make sure that you cast your votes while the show is live on the East Coast between 8 and 10 p.m. If you're in central time, that's 7 to 9.m. Mountain, 6 to 9. Mout, mountain, mountain, mountain, mountain, mountain, mountain, mountain, mountain, mountain, mountain, mountain, mountain, mountain, and the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. You get to. You, to. You, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. t seven. Don't wait for the show to come on live if you're in the mountain or Pacific time. Vote between 8 and 10 Eastern Time. Those are the only votes that count. All right, did you hear that? He just told people to vote for him 20 times even if they haven't seen him dance yet, which is messed up. Although it's also smart because you could wait to see him dance but then how you're going to text the right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right rightthe right number once your eyes are bleeding. I get it, I get it, I totally get it. But beyond riling up Brightbard listeners and showing his supporters how to vote a thousand times,

Spicer's campaign has been successful because you see, he's harnessed the full support of the conservative world. It is your shot of the morning, that is Sean Spicer dancing his way into America's hearts. Oh my gosh, it makes you feel like dancing. Wow, Sean Spicer. The biggest star right now on Dancing with the Stars. He keeps going and going and going. I tell you, you're doing great, my friend. You know what, Sean, I think you're getting better every week.

I'm sure that you improved quite a bit. Congratulations on that. On to the next round, you march. The president found time to throw his support behind former press secretary Sean Spicer on Dancing with the Stars. Vote for good guys Sean Spicer tonight. He has always been there for us. That's right. Even the president of the United States is stepping in to keep Spicer from getting voted off the dance floor. And oh, I guarantee you that at some point,

between running the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the country the the the the the floor. You know, I guarantee you that at some point between running the country and promoting Sean Spicer, Trump has accidentally texted Sean 10 times to the President of Ukraine. I know that's happened at least once. He just sent it and the guy's like, Mr. President, who is Sean? Sorry, wrong number. Wrong number. So look, I know Sean Spicer isn't technically breaking any rules. I mean, he's breaking a ton of dancing rules and just general rules of physics about how the human body is supposed to move, but he is ruining dancing with the stars for a lot of its fans who genuinely love to watch good dancing. Because this is not supposed to be about politics. It's about talent.

And a guy who dances with the elegance of a dial-up modem logging into AOL does not deserve to win. And you might be wondering, you might be like, well Trevor, why do you care so much? Well, I'll tell you why. Because back in South Africa, I was lucky enough to be a dancing with the star. All right? I samba'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a' And you know what, I'm proud to say that I kicked ass because I worked hard at it. So if Sean Spicer is going to destroy one of the greatest, most respected institutions in the world, I have no choice but to defend its honor. Sean Spicer? You got a second list like man, man.

You and me. You meet me in the pocket lot off the work. And it's going to be a dancer, Sean. We're dancing, Sean. We'll be right back. Don't mess with us, Sean. Don't mess it. Don't mess with you.

Don't mess with you. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart,

wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back to The Daily Show. Some news stories help us understand the world we live in. And some news stories are just stupid. For those, we turn to Ronnie Chang. Thanks, Trevor. It's Halloween again. As I like to call it, the stupidest time of the year.

Because you've got dumb kids coming to your house begging for candy, and then you have everyone else trying to come up with a costume that's topical but also hot. Oh, look at me. I'm sexy quid pro quo. What does that even mean? But Halloween also means businesses are pretending they're cool by coming up with spooky promotions promotions like this guy. A car wash in Ohio is doubling down as a haunted house.

Check it out. Customers can enjoy this spooky experience while riding through the car wash. These actors dressed in scary Halloween costumes will wipe down cars and scare customers. The frightening car was cost 20 bucks. Not only are you locked in your car in a haunted house, but you're going to go home with what we think is the cleanest car in Ohio. The cleanest car in Ohio. Who cares? It's still in Ohio. I'd rather have the second dirtiest car anywhere else. More importantly, why do you have to combine these two things? How busy are people? Are you really just

sit around like, yo, I got time for a haunted house or a car wash. I can't do both. And how is this even scary? I'm not scared of Freddy Kruger if he's working for me for tips. But if you want a haunted house that has less sitting and more crapping your pants, then you're in luck. The country's scariest haunted house is offering $20,000 for anyone who can get through this thing. So just to get in, you'll need to watch a two-hour-long video, sign a 40-page waiver, bring a doctor's note saying you pass the physical and have a safe word for when you want to give up. The haunted house includes intense audio, lighting, extreme, low visibility, gross stuff, close contact with creatures they

may touch you and graphic and pretty real scenes of horror. Now the tour taps into your personal fears such as being buried alive or drowning. The entire experience can last up to 10 hours. Holy shit. Close contact with disgusting creatures that may touch you. That's not a haunted house. That's a sleepover at Jeffrey Epstein's place. Right? Look, can we all just agree that haunted houses are stupid?

It's a bunch of losers yelling, boo. You're booing me? I'm booing you. Boo! That blood looks fake, boo! The whole idea of a Hunter house combines two things I don't want to do, okay? Be scared and go to someone else's house. I mean, if you want to spend money to have a shitty night, just go on a Tinder date. Okay?

Oh, wow, that's so interesting. I've never met anyone who likes to travel before. Honestly, the scariest thing about Halloween is how corporate it is. You can't do anything without running into promotional bullshit. Just in time for Halloween, the Halloween Burger Kings introducing what they're calling the ghost whopper. Chipotle is back with its annual burrito for their to-dea for just four bucks. Chipotle is back can get a burrito for just four bucks.

In honor of Halloween, the coffee giant is debuting, check it out right there, the Phantom Frappuccino, it is a black and green drink. The food product designed to look like saline contains charcoal powder to add the black coloring. Well, activated charcoal is banned in New York. Damn, that drink got banned in New York. Do you know how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.co. the the the the the the the the the the the of safety concerns tied to it. Damn, that drink got banned in New York. Do you know how bad that coffee has to be to be considered a health risk in New York? This is the same city where pizza gets delivered by a rat.

Right? So, yo, and if you ask me, all these gimmicks are so unnecessary. Fast food is already scary, okay? Just put a flashlight under your chin and read the list of ingredients. Wow, Ronnie, you're really not into the season. Are you, like, do you celebrate anything Halloween? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, I love getting into a Halloween spirit. I buy candy and when trick-or-treaters come to my door,

I eat it in their faces to show that nothing in life is free. Ronnie Chang, everyone, we'll be right back. to be right back. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday. Listen to the Daily Show.

My guest tonight is running for the 2020 Democratic nomination for president. Please welcome the U.S. Senator for you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Welcome back to the show. Well, thank you, Trevor. What an interesting time you have been having running for president and running for the Democratic nomination.

A lot of people say you were one of the winners of the last debate. So what is that, do you get like a trophy? What do you get for winning a winning winning for winning for winning for winning for winning for winning a d winning for winning for winning for winning for winning for winning the of the last debate. So what is that, do you get like a trophy? What do you get for winning a debate? Well, I'm hoping I get a dance with you in that outfit. That I'm thinking at the end of the interview. Right, okay. I've still got the leot under here so we can see what happens. You really did well though, and a lot of people were saying that you connected with the audience in a completely different way. I mean, it jumpstarted your funding.

You know, we've seen you rise in the polls. What do you think about your message connected with people who are going to be voting for who the Democratic nominee will be? It gave me an opportunity to focus on this simple idea that I don't want to be the president for half of America. I want to be the president for all of America. And we have so much right now with this president who wakes up every day, you know, before the sun is up, he's sending up mean tweets against immigrants, against people of color, against entire cities like Baltimore.

He won't stop. And I think right now, the answer is is is is is thiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. the the thi. thi. thi. thi. I the president, I the president, I the president, I the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president, I the president, the president, the president, the president, the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thee. thean. thean. thean. thean. theat thea. thea. theea. thea. I thea. I think right now the answer is to our fired up democratic base, incredibly strong and important, but bring people with us. We always do best as a country when we don't shut people out, but we bring people with us. That means independence. It means people that didn't vote last time. It means people in the middle of the country, in those states that he won, like Pennsylvania and Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin, Iowa. I am going to build a blue wall around those states of Democratic votes. And I'm... No, the best part, I'm going to make Donald Trump pay

for it. Yeah, you have come out and positioned yourself as somebody who is proud to say, I am centrist, which many people have started to see as a dirty word. People have said, no, this is not a time for being a centrist. This is a time to say, like, I'm fully liberal. I want Medicare for all. I don't want private insurance. We're going to make everything free. thi thi thi thi thi thi thii th. thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. to to to to to tee. too. the thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. to the. to the'm fully liberal. I want Medicare for all. I don't want private insurance. We're going to make everything free. One thing you've been consistent on at all the debates is you've said it sounds great but that's not what you're going to be, you're not going to promise. Why do you say it sounds great but it is undeliverable? I want to make sure we keep promises to people. He would rather lie than lead. He's running the country like a game show. So I think it's going to be really important for

me when I'm up on that debate stage with him to be able to point out that what I've said, all my plans are paid for and they're actually going to make a difference in people's lives. And I don't think anyone has a monopoly over good ideas. You look at my idea for health care, taking on the pharmaceutical companies, bring in less expensive drugs from other countries. That's something I actually worked on with Senator Sanders, making sure that we bring premiums down with a non-profit public option. And yeah, when it comes to school, making sure that it's easier for students to afford to go to college. And that means if millionaires can refinance their yachts,

students should be able to refinance their student loans. Right. But you've been very clear in saying, look, I know it sounds nice, but I'm not going to promise free college for all. And I'm not going to promise you free health care for everybody. Like, why do you not think that that is possible when people have said, no, it is possible. Elizabeth Warren has said that Bernie Sanders,

they said, no, there is a way to pay for this. Well, one thing, they're still figuring out how to pay for it, and that's fine. We're waiting to hear that. But the other thing is that I want I I I I I I I I I I I I that I that I that I that I tho tho tho tho tho tho than I want to to to to to to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make tho. I want to make thi thi thi thi. I want thi. I want that. that that that that that. that that that that that that. I thi thi thi thi than than than than than than than than than than th. than than than th. than than than than than than than thi thi. thi. thi. thin thin thin. thin. the. the comes to college, the fastest growing jobs right now are one and two year degrees. We're going to have 74,000 openings for electricians in the next 10 years. Almost that number for plumbers.

We are going to have not that number for comedians. We are going to have a million openings for health care workers. So we've got to look at that. I would make those free. the key the key the key the key the key the key the key the key the key the key the key the key the key the key the key the key the key the key the key the key the key the key the key to to to to to to to to to we've got to look at that. I would make those free. And then here's the key for the four-year degrees. And what I would do is take those Pell grants. Those aren't loans. Those are actually grants.

It's good money. And double it from 6,000 to 12,000 a year. And have them go to families that are not just making 50, a thous, a thous, a thous, a 50, a 50, a 50, a 50, a 50, a 50, a 50, a 50, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thousand, thousand, thousand, thousand, thousand, thousand, thousand, thousand, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thousand, thous, thous, th, th, th, th, thous, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thousand, and thousand, and to, and too, and tooooooan, and tooan, and tooan, and tooan, and tooan, and tooan, and toooooooo, and too, and t about a hundred thousand a year. And that would really put the money where people needed. It would help our historically bought college and universities. It would help the kids that most need it. And instead of sending money to rich, for rich kids to go to college, like I don't want to have taxpayer money go to pay for Mark Zuckerberg's kids to go to college. No, I don't want to do that thuke thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu to do to do thu, I to do thu, I thu, I thu, I thu, I the thu the tho, I the tho, I the the the their their tho, their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.eeanan, too. Soe, tho, tho. So't want to do that. So that is the difference. You've been very vocal not just about being the president of all of America, but you've really been vocal about making America's voting process more fair, specifically regarding

the election ads that run. You know, over the past few months, and maybe even years, the focus has been on Facebook, on Twitter, and all of these social media giants who have taken vast sums of money to put our political ads. And you have been one of the most fierce critics, you know, in and around the space. What do you think needs to change and why? This is an unbelievable thing that we really shouldn't wait for the presidential election to change. Right now, an ad's run on your network or on any network or in any newspaper radio, you have to say what they are, post them on a website, and then you've got to say, how are you going to pay for them?

You've got to put down, you know, prepared and paid for it for, by. Not true of the social media companies. And so one great example of this, in 2016, Russian roubles were used to pay for ads on Facebook that were targeted at African-American websites in swing states. And that ad had an innocent woman's face, she was from Chicago, had no idea her face was used, and it said, why wait in line to vote for Hillary? You can text your vote at like 86153. It was a lie and it is illegal.

That was done to suppress the vote. In my mind, it's a crime. Those th. Those th. Those th. Those th. Those th. Those th. Those th. Those th. T those the, the, the, thiiii. T, thi. T, thi. T, thi. T, thi. T, thia, thia, thia' thia, thi. That's thia' thia' thia' thia' thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thii. That's thiii. That's thii. That's thiii. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's the. That's a the. That's a thea, thea'ea'ea'ea'eanananananea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea is illegal. That was done to suppress the vote. In my mind, it's a crime. Those were the kinds of ads that were being put out there. And that's why my bill, the Honest Ads Act, which is bipartisan, which is being stopped by Mitch McConnell. That, what that bill does is it simply says they have to follow the same rules. If you think this is little, three to four billion dollars is going to be spent on internet ads. And you've heard about how Facebook doesn't even care if they're true or not.

So that is the problem here. But now some people have argued and said, we understand what the intention is behind this, Senator Klobuchar. But how do you respond to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, is the, is the, is the, is the, is their, is the, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is the, is thi.e.e.e.e.e.e.eck.e.e.e.e.e.e.a.a.a.e.a.a.e.a.a, the. Wea, the potential to stifle the speech of those who aren't incumbent and don't have access to the money to pay for the ads on these bigger platforms? You know, these aren't cat videos, right? These are ads that I believe are going to contain false pictures of candidates, are going to have videos that aren't even the real candidate that's going to look like them.

And this is about voters being able to make a decision about an election and they need accuracy, and they need honesty. And the big thing that really bothers me is that these companies are making tons of monies, money off these ads, three to four billion dollars. Why shouldn't they have to play by the same rules and ensure honesty? Because otherwise we're not going to have a fair election. The one other thing I would do is when I'm president, I would get my bill passed that says that every kid, if they're eligible to vote, when they turn 18, they are automatically registered to vote. That would make a huge difference.

Then they wouldn't have to go through all of it. That makes a lot of sense. It would register millions and more people. Let's talk lastly about your appeal in the middle of America and with many conservative voters. You know, you've been written about, you've been spoken about where people say, they are conservatives who would vote for you because they don't like Donald Trump, but they don't want to go to an extreme liberal world. How do you maintain liberal policies and ideas

whilst also bringing into the fold those who may consider themselves conservative or independent because the left is too extreme? I think a lot of it is that I go not just where it's comfortable, but where it's uncomfortable. I have strong values. I am pro-choice. I am someone that believes in protecting our environment and believes we have to take on climate change in a big way. I want to get the assault

weapon ban in place, right? But when I go to places in my state, I listen to people. They don't agree with me about everything, but I have been able to bring them in because they know I'm going to tell them the truth and they know I'm going to have to have to have to have to have going their their their their their going their going their going their going their going their going their going their going their going their going they know I'm going to have their back and get things done. And that is how I've won every single red, rural congressional district, ones that Trump took by double digits. And I've won them not once, not twice, but three times, including Michelle Bachman's district. And I have done that. And I think this is so important when you look at this election, because, th and th and we, th and th and the th and, th and, th and, th and, th and, tham, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, te, te, tei, tei, tei, tha, try, tha, thauuu.e, too, too, too, tha, tha so important when you look at this election, because we don't just want to eke by a victory. We want to take back the US Senate and send Mitch McConnell packing.

And the way you do that, the way you do that is by winning in these states like Colorado and Arizona and Iowa and winning these Senate seats. Because that's how we're going to get these big things done. So I don't just want to win to win to win to win to win to win to win to win to win to win to win to win to win to win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win just want to win. I want to win big and that's why I want to lead this ticket. It's a great way to end it all. Thank you so much for coming back to the show. Good luck for the rest of the race. Senator Amy Clovershire everybody. The Daily Show with Trevor Noa, Ears edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11th, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show.com. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast. John Stewart here.

Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election. Economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart. Wherever you get your podcast.