The Daily Show: Ears Edition - TDS Time Machine | Best of John Oliver

Episode Date: March 10, 2025

Daily Show legend John Oliver visits Hawaii to hear from Republicans everything wrong with its (beloved) health care system. Next up he gets his School House Rock on, embodying a beat up Dodd Frank Act. He trades his English accent for Long Island after a Presidential debate. Finally Jon sits down with Ronny Chieng to talk finding a place for satire, and how their status as immigrants developed their comedy chops. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Just because Republicans don't want to talk about health care with the president doesn't mean they don't want to talk about it. When John Oliver visited the RNC winter meeting in Hawaii, he found plenty of people eager to chat. He filed this report. Hawaii, not only is it an island paradise, it's also been held up as a model for health care reform. Here, government mandates that businesses give health insurance to any employee

working over 20 hours a week, resulting in near-universal coverage. Which made it the perfect place for the Republican National Committee to hold their annual meeting and deliver one key message. Health care reform isn't really a reform, it's a boondoggle. It would be one more step towards socialism. Do you think the American people should be thanking the Republican Party for destroying the healthcare bill? Absolutely, they should be thanking those that have stood up for the American people

to stop this. But for some reason, Hawaiians didn't understand how bad their own system was. Health care is awesome, you know, especially with my baby. I'm in between jobs right now and they're taking on my health care free of charge till I get back on my feet and that's awesome. Hawaii has awesome health care, right? You have health insurance. This guy has health insurance. The guy with a skateboard and without functioning

shoelaces. Yep. How the f**k does that work out? Even visitors to the island were initially impressed. The treatment I received here was the best that the world has to offer. Until a few days later when they realized they'd been tricked into receiving socialized care. You know what I wanted to say at the press conference? I wanted to say, I'm just glad this happened before 2013 and Obama's health care went into effect because I might not have survived it. Luckily, Republicans were here to save Hawaiians from themselves.

What would you say to Hawaiians who say, I have government mandated health care and I love it? Do they have government mandated health care here? Yes. Well, I would say that he who pays the piper calls the dune. Right, and what would you say to Hawaiians who said, what? That's meaningless. That's just a bit of folksy nonsense that doesn't have any real substance. I lost my thought.

It's just not going to work and it will destroy the healthcare system. What would you say to a Hawaiian who said you literally don't know what you're talking about? Well, I would say that I do and I would hope that you would give me a chance to show you there is a better way. What if that Hawaiian then said, okay, you've got that chance, dazzle me. There are some people that may believe that government run healthcare is OK because they've not had the opportunity of seeing how it works on the private side. Even Hawaiians who make frequent visits to the emergency room somehow didn't see it. I have been under arrest and happened to get some stitches.

I go into Hawaii and they say, get the gurney, get him fixed, dog you okay? And the doctor starts working. I go to the mainland and they say, you got insurance. Right. Is your wallet on you? It's not my wallet that hurts, it's my lip. Let me get this straight. Dog the Bounty Hunter believes in Hawaiian healthcare.

Dog the Bounty Hunter believes in Hawaiian health care dog the bounty hunter believes in Hawaiian health care correct these poor bastards just didn't realize they were living in a socialist nightmare forced to scrounge for a living unable even to afford shirts many driven to suicide but for those who do survive what will their world look like? Let's look down the road. 10 years from now, 20 years from now, your children, your grandchildren, how are they going to pay for this?

You're going to regret it. Well, we've done it for 40 years. This isn't something we just started in the last few months or past few years. Exactly. With only four decades of testing, America simply cannot afford to join this dangerous experiment. What would happen do you think if this healthcare system made it to the mainland? That question I couldn't answer.

I'll tell you what the answer is. What is the answer? Every single person in the United States would be dead. Thank goodness we have experts like these to save us. I don't know about Hawaii. I haven't, I mean I've been here before us. I don't know about Hawaii. I haven't, I mean, I've been here before once, but I don't know how that has worked. What I do know is as a universal rule, it simply does not work. John Oliver, we'll be right back.

The Dodd-Frank Act is now one year old and here to discuss the effect it's having in reforming a damaged financial system we're very lucky to have with us tonight. HR 4173, the Dodd-Frank Act everybody! I am a law, a 2,000 page law, Congress passed me without one single flaw. I make sure Wall Street plays by the new regulations, protecting your investments across the entire nation. Hang on there one second. What? I'm sorry Dodd Frank. What the hell happened to you? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, yes, yes, I'm still standing. I'm still here. In fact, just last week, my all new Consumer Financial Protection Board opened for business. As soon as it gets a director, we'll be off to the races.

So wait, there's no director? No, not just yet. It's been a year. Come on. What about Elizabeth Warren? Wasn't she supposed to be the director of this thing? What happened there? ["Conformation in the Senate"]

Confirmation in the Senate, there's no motion. Obama could have used a recess appointment to give her the job without her vote, but he didn't do it because his feelings weren't that strong. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But you know what? That's interesting. You know what, John? It doesn't matter. I've still got 400 tough new rules to remake our broken and corrupt financial system. Well, you know what? That's great. How are those new 400 rules working? They're working great.

The ones that are written are working great. The ones that are... How many of the 400 new rules have been written? Hmm. -♪ 38, it's a magic number. Yes, it is. Oh, it's a magic number. It might not be 400 or 150 or 77, but it's 38.

And that's a magic number Let's do this red socks picture-cut shilling LA Clippers forward Dale Wilkinson Rodney goes tail back with your rivers they walk 38 And it's a magic number. Oh It's a magic number 38 is a magic number because Dale Wilkinson makes it a magic number. You've heard of Dale Wilkinson No, I have not the Clippers guy until you mentioned him just now. No, I just have to take my word for it He definitely exists. Why weren't the rules written John?

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Hold on. I can't do this Get your exes here! Lobby, lobby, lobby, get your exes here! Lobby, lobby, that's your... Stop it, stop it, stop it, hold it, I can't do this! Blaming lobbyists is a cop-out, John. Here's what's going down. This whole financial reform thing is a sham! The only way the Congress would pass me was if the details of my rules and regulations were left unspecified, giving K Street lobbyists all the time they would need to water me down post-passage. And you know what? Exactly. Boo, exactly.

Thank you, boys and girls. Thank you. And you know what? If any actual tough rule manages to squeak through, Congress people cut the budget of the agency responsible for enforcing it. The whole thing is a giant punt. I'm no law. I'm no the budget of the agency responsible for enforcing it. The whole thing is a giant punt! I'm no law. I'm no law, John. I'm just an undefined, impotent, 2,300-page piece of legislative... You see this? You see this here, John?

I stole this off the Voting Rights Act of 1965. This is a lie! This isn't even mine! I'm sorry, John. I had no idea, Law. I had no idea, Dodd-Frank, that you have been through so much. You don't know what you're talking about. You haven't seen the things I've seen! I know. I'm just a law, but my ass was f***ing raw, And my balls put through a circular saw And everyone who swore up and down to support me Now they want Planned Parenthood too, late term abort me

Last night I got hit by a car, it's gone too far for this law Did I mention my ass was wrong. The Dodd-Frank Act everybody. We'll be right back. Today, of course, being held tonight in Hempstead, Long Island at Hofstra John, thank you so much for joining us. Ain't no problem, Johnny. Least I can do, all right? Obviously, make or break night for John McCain.

How did the candidates do, John? Come on, John. It was a real ragooch. You got one guy over here doing this, one guy over there doing that. I'm thinking, what are these guys doing over here? Just talking and s***. Agubada gabada gubada.

Oh. Oh. Agubada gabada gubada? You know that, I'm pretty sure that that doesn't mean anything. What are you talking about? Any reaction from the people of Long Island to the debate? Oh, let's see, let's see. Actually, I talked with this one chick.

She had a pretty nice rack. Kind of a butter face. Anyway, she said, and I quote, oh my god, the debate was awesome. You know. I don't know when you changed from a Long Island accent to some Serbian thing, but uh. Hey, are we talking or are we talking here?

I thought we were talking. John, how long have you been out in Long Island? Only two f***ing hours! Took the, uh, took the, uh, L-I-R-R. Boom! You know. It was just like tree stops. You know. Only tree.

I'm gonna ask you. I'm gonna ask you right now. Please return immediately to the studio. Alright, John? It's just. I got a better idea. I'm a little gubbago! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Ohaba goo! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! John, please get me out of here. We'll send someone to come and get you, John. Quickly! All right, John.

Thank you very much. John Oliver. All right. All right. All right. All right. We get it. Enough already.

Enough. I agree with you more than I agree with them. Well, well, well. Look who's come crawling back. Yes. Where it all started. I know. It's pretty weird to be back. I do not like being in that guest room at all All right That was the one room where I worked here

You were not allowed to go in and I don't like being in it now It feels like I'm doing something wrong by being inside. Yeah, you never you never snuck in to see a guest. No We were never we were never allowed to really be in there because it had to be kept nice for the guest. And it never really occurred to me one day I might be that and I still don't feel it. So I put my bag in there and then stood in the corridor for the rest of it. I don't want to be in there at all. Yeah, this place brings back my memories. You were here, you were in this building. I was very much in this building. This was the reason I came to America and I was here for eight

years. Yeah, same. That's why I was so happy you came on because people don't know by looking at us but we actually have very similar backgrounds because we both joined the show. I moved to America to do the show just like you and when I first joined the show You know the the Daily Show alumni network is so strong. I asked to meet up with yeah, Mr. Oliver Yeah, and I thought it's all over and I He was mr. Oliver I was like there's no way this guy's gonna Let me meet up with him and you were like no come come before work. There's nothing There's nothing I like more than talking to people who have questions about how to make feel peace Yeah, because it's the or it's that it's such a narrow set of skills There's nothing I like more than talking to people who have questions about how to make field pieces. Yeah.

Because it's such a narrow set of skills. Yes. And all of your questions were great. I remember you leaving and thinking, oh, you're going to be fine. Even though you don't have the answers yet, all your questions are right, so you're going to be fine. You do not have a problem.

Oh, thanks, Henry. I will say, before we make it too sincere, you do have that unique skill set of not minding being a dick to people. And that really, at the end of that is the secret sauce. Well that is the, I mean, you know, you have to really not care to do satire sometimes. Yes. Everyone's like, people, I don't think people know how much you don't give a f***.

Yes. Like you truly don't give a f***. You all go hard. In the marrow of my bones, sometimes when our lawyers say they're gonna be upset, you go, I'm not having a physical reaction to that at all. It is of no concern to me whether the Sackler family are mad with me or not. To be honest, I'm a little bit, it's a tingle of happiness. Yeah, but that's what you need to do it.

Yes, definitely. I like the feeling of trouble. Yeah, you do, yeah. In comedy, because I'm probably a natural coward in many ways. But when it comes to comedy, I do like the feeling of being in real trouble. Yeah, it's real. You talked about pushing the button. You said it's a button, you just got to push it.

Because I mean, you know, and what was interesting was when I met with you, this is how much you don't give a fuck. You made me come to your office at 8 AM, first of all, which is extremely early for comedians to wake up. That is true. That is the amazing thing about doing jobs like this. When you get into comedy, it's not generally thinking that you will see a human being's breakfast time.

No. But yeah, that's right. You came very early. You look bright and early. You showered. I had no complaints. And I came and I talked to you. And I have very specific questions. I had no complaints. Yeah and I came and I talked and I have very specific questions and one thing you told me I've been using

this in my podcast rounds I don't know if you've if it's come back to you but like when you told me it took you two years to relearn how to do comedy in America. I think that's probably true. You were spot on to the day by the way. I was in hindsight I was like oh my god because I remember there was a day I was in New York City gigging at some comedy club and it was 2 years in literally almost to the day and I remember things aside to click a little bit of like relearning how to do comedy because again like you like me we were doing comedy outside of America's

before we came here. Yeah, and so I think the outside of perspective in comedy always works the thing with being an immigrant here is you kind of have to learn the exact ways that your outsider perspective can translate. So you kind of have to learn, basically, how that can work. And once it does, you're fine. But until that point, it does feel a little bit

like uncharted waters. Yeah, it's a bit like, you know, you can come here and you can joke about America on a very surface level and you can, and that will do well for you for, you know, if you have a 15 minute set, maybe 30 minute set. But I feel like after nine months or a year in America, the audience can kind of smell the bullshit of like, you've been here long enough. Yes.

Right. Like guns shouldn't be weird to you. That's right. So really, how profound your two-year thing was, it takes two years to learn the nuances of America so you can make fun of them in ways which they appreciate. Exactly. Don't tell us we have guns. We know we have guns.

Tell us something else. If we know nothing else about ourselves, it's that we have guns to a genuinely problematic extent. That is not a fresh insight. We genuinely know. Yes, exactly. So you were going deeper and deeper into it, which that was my guiding light as well when I first saw him.

I'm so glad. My incredibly insightful advice of wait 24 months worked. It worked like a charm. I still can't believe it. I just deep down didn't want to hear from you again for two years, and that's all that works. Come back with the same question in two years, and then we'll talk.

You're smart. And I wonder, do you feel like satire in 2023? Is that the, you know, you've been at the show, you've seen The Daily Show kind of evolve over a lot of times. And when you joined the show, there wasn't anyone else doing it, kind of. There wasn't TikTok, there wasn't Instagram. Oh no, there wasn't those things.

Right, so it wasn't a bunch of, you know, like, fucking assholes talking about, you know, like, trying to do satire but fucking it up all the time. And so... What? Sorry, now I'm just attacking a bunch of people on social media. I think you're now attacking the entire population of TikTok for trying. Yeah, no, I'm down. I'm hosting for one day, come at me, TikTok. I was just trying to...

Is that a monogram shirt? What? Did you have a monogram shirt? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a very fancy shirt, Robbie. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's a very fancy shirt, Ronnie. Oh, yeah, yeah. This one is, um, uh, I got this shirt, um, made in New York City, Chinatown. Wow. And he... No, he's a legit tailor,

and then he asked me if I wanted my Chinese name embroidered on it. I was like, go for it. And then now it just looks like a mustard stain. LAUGHTER Yeah, it doesn't look like a... It does look a little bit like a mustard steak. I made a mustard steak. It's a very stylish mustard steak. Yeah, did you guys get fancy suits when you got them?

No, we got no suits. I cannot, we were not given any, I never owned a suit. Check out this boomer. Coming on the daily show telling us how good we have it now. You really don't. We didn't have a desk. We had to buy our own. We didn't have cameras.

We had to go, I had to go to a didn't have a desk. We had to buy our own. We didn't have cameras. We had to go. To go to a place to buy our suits. And doing field pieces, you wreck them all the time. For years here, there's nothing that made ex-correspondents more angry than hearing that we got free suits when we did. And that was the thing that bothered them the most. It was, no, no, you should have to go into the hole every year

just to get a presentable suit. Now look at you. You were spiffy. Now they did. Did the show pay for that? Yeah, the showat. No, you should have to go into the hole every year just to get a presentable suit. Now look at you. You're spiffy. Did the show pay for that? Yeah, the show did. Monograms? You get monogrammed shirts now? Yeah, well, you know. Comedy Central has changed. I know things are a little choppy here, but monogrammed shirts? No, I told them if they did apy here, but monogrammed shirts. No, I told them if they didn't monogram it, they were racist. And then they just did, yeah. Oh, that's a move that I can't make.

Yeah, but that's the thing. We're both immigrants in America. And do you ever, I guess my question to you is, how do you answer the people who are like, if you don't like it, here, leave? Because I get that a lot. Yeah. I mean, I guess they took it. It's a horrible point, but it's a fair question.

I guess now my answer would be, I'm a citizen. You can't do that. But I think the tricky thing is I felt ownership. It's very dangerous. A British person saying, I felt ownership of this country. Historically, it does not go well. It's amazing. I just went to India and I felt like I belonged.

But I felt at home here long before my legal status was solid. That's the tricky thing as an immigrant. The more I felt at home here, the my legal status was solid. That's the tricky thing as an immigrant. The more I felt at home here, the more cognizant you are of the fact that it's not up to you whether or not you get to stay or not. So it was a massive relief to get my green card and an even bigger relief to get my citizenship. So despite the fact immigrants tend to talk shit,

it's generally the kind of way that you talk shit with someone you genuinely love. Sure. I want to say, as a comedian, I only really talk shit as a way of expressing love. Professionally. Exactly. I don't really know how to express myself sincerely.

Right, right. I like you. I'm never going to say that. F*** you, Ronnie. There you go. F*** you and your show. That's all we love. That's it.

But I was back on that earlier point. Do you feel as a place for satire like basically the the news is so crazy right now reality is sometimes matching up to the news sometimes in that environment do you feel that satire is still possible like you know when you're doing a joke ironically do you feel like people can get it that you're trying to ironically be the bad guy in some you know it oh I see you mean like if you're doing a joke ironically, do you feel like people can get it that you're trying to ironically be the bad guy in some you know. Oh, I see you mean like if you're doing filthy because we used to play the bad guy and feel peaceful you would say things you did not mean just to embody an argument that you do not agree with.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, feel pieces. That's the way that we would operate all the time. In general. I mean, our show is a little different. Like we're not in the... Yeah, I'm not asking about your show. I'm asking about what for me.

For this show, we got it. We know f***ing you figured it out. I'm talking about for me. I think there's... I think there'll always be a place for satire. I mean, there was a place for it in Germany in the 30s. It didn't seem to work out that well over there, but they gave it a go.

Yeah. Yeah. So, no, I think there will always be, and I, unlike you, am happy for people online to try and do it a go. Yeah. Yeah. So no, I think there will always be, and I, unlike you, I'm happy for people online to try and do it as well. Ronnie really would like nobody to have a voice. Nobody. No. All about earn your voice, like me.

I did. I had to get on the show to get a voice. You don't get a voice just because you're in your underwear on Instagram. I don't. Ronnie regrets that gatekeepers have been removed from the process. He really liked the gates.

I love the gatekeepers. It was so tough to come here. It was really tough for me to come here. I like you. I also really wanted to come here. That is the thing. I don't think Americans understand how rough the U.S. immigration process is. When they say come to people come in the right way, I don't think they realize how literally

impossible that is in some in some aspects when when I got my green card here they brought it to me in my office upstairs and they gave me a Budweiser and an apple pie with a little American flag in it I think they would give it as if like here's a joke right oh you got it you were always gonna get it here it is and I nearly cried and for a British person nearly crying is crying yeah as I can come. But I was so relieved because I was worried about it so much. So I think you tend to find, like when we were talking before,

exactly, when you find out someone just got their green card, you can kind of almost feel the relief coming off it because it's such a concern. It's not easy. No, it is not easy. In fact, don't even talk about the green card. Even the visa before the green card. It's incredibly hard. It's called the. No, it is not easy. In fact, even don't even talk about the green card. Even the visa before the green card.

It's incredibly hard. It's called the extraordinary ability visa. Yes. You have to prove, first of all, that you have extraordinary ability, which I challenge anyone to do. Unless you're freaking an NBA player or someone foot. And then second of all, it's like if you don't constantly prove that you're, they can deport you.

Yeah. Like if I have a bag segment on the Daily Show, I'm... That's right. You did not demonstrate extraordinary ability. That was at median level ability. That is the worst thing about coming in on a visa is like occasionally they'll look at the visa and say, what do you do? Because they're expecting a surgeon. Yeah.

Someone with a marketable skill. And the moment you say comedian, like, this is not for you. That's not. And also then if it's all go, tell me something funny. Like, or what, is this a fun bit? Or is this the moment I get deported? Do I need a joke on hand? It demonstrates extraordinary ability

in terms of word craft. Yes, it's incredibly stressful in a way people don't understand. Yeah, so in a weird way, I'm with you in that, in that immigrants to America who come here actually want to be here, have fought to be here, and we're the ones who get shit done here. Yes.

Because we had to f***ing prove it every single time. That's right. Immigrants. Immigrants. That's right. We get the job done. Yeah. I would say what is more quintessentially American than coming to a country you don't belong in and deciding you're going to stay. Yeah. I would say what is more quintessentially American than

coming to a country you don't belong in and deciding you're going to stay? Thanksgiving of all times. All right, so we get it. You know, every interview I've researched you on, you profess your love for America. You're still here, clearly you still love it. Yeah. Okay, so can you shut the f fuck up and be American for one minute instead of constantly complaining and talking like a fucking foreigner all the time? I mean, I challenge you. You challenge me to be American?

Yes, I want you to prove, I want you to eat this hot dog right now. Oh boy. And then I want you to throw this football, and football, you have to call it a football. Okay, I can't do that. I call it an American football. Okay, American football an American you gotta throw this to me So you're gonna eat that first and you throw this to me. Okay, like like this. No, no, you got a

Go with it. Okay. Yeah, so eat this first You USA! USA! USA! Alright, and then you gotta come over here, and you gotta stand right here, and you gotta throw a tight spiral. How hard can that be? Alright, hang on, hang on. Alright, can we get a drum roll? Drum roll. For you? For you. Ready? Okay.

All right. All right. All right. All right. We proved it. All right. We got it. Yeah. This is Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. And wherever you'll find it, who gives a f***? Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast universe by searching the Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts

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