The Daily Show: Ears Edition - TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Interviews Comedy Legends

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

Jon Stewart can't keep a straight face as he interviews Robin Williams, Norm MacDonald, and Richard Lewis. This roundup of interviews covers NYC tourists on Citi bikes, IBM Watson's stint on Jeopardy!, and Calvin Klein Depends. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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My new podcast, The Weekly Show, we're gonna be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to The Weekly Show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcast. I've just been riding my bike, it's been pretty sweet riding my bike in New York is amazing too because you're right on the West Side bike path. I passed this guy and all of a

sudden we're going to go fat ass. Yeah, I'm on drugs. It's for my prostate. Do you really ride your bike around the city? Oh, it's wonderful. You're a mad man. Oh, it's wonderful. It's the greatest way to get around. All of a sudden people think,

no, that couldn't be Mork. No. Have you seen the new... They have the new bikes. That you can rent. The city bikes you can rent, but it's people, like, from Belgium that don't know the city and they don't have helmets,

and they're just like... Yeah, they're like, okay, we're going to go out now. Here we go. And New Yorkers are going, get the... off that bike. But I'm... amazed that no one has been hurt. They're doing wonderfully. That really is this thing. It works itself out.

All of a sudden you see them and it's like all of a sudden even angels are flying behind them going, please be careful. But it's very sweet. You're right. It is basically. Europeans going, how do I get downtown? Follow the numbers. The numbers get lower.

Okay. And then where are you at the next stop? Where are you? Brooklyn, welcome. But you're right, no helmets. There should be a little hand that says some sort of safety device. Bubble wrap or something, man.

A small, just a little, like maybe a condom, something fun. But don't you think for New Yorkers, they're just thinking like, it's so hard every day not to just go like, you know what I mean? Well, I ride my bike in L.A. and that's where it really gets kind of crazy.

Oh, really? I'll be riding. The weird thing is, I've been living in LA now because of the show. I don't do very well in it. I got stopped by a cop once in LA, and he gave me a script instead of a ticket. He was like, you want to hear Mr. Williams' howl?

And if you don't like this, please give it to Eddie Murphy. Thank you. That's, I couldn't imagine. But riding a bike in LA is truly kind of dangerous because you'd be in almost, and they really do it because everyone's like, you know, they're all talking, they're texting, everything. And you just have to be like, no, no, no. But you're for real though, you don't, you take this very seriously. You've done bike tracks, like you've done, you know, two weeks going across like continents

and stuff. No, no, no, I'm not that serious. Oh, really? I thought, didn't you train with like the guy who won the Tour de France, Greg LeMond, or something like that, and, like, rode with him for a little bit? Yeah, I rode with him one time, and I used to ride with Lance in the old days. Oh, really? Yeah.

Used to ride behind the Uniballer. Did you really? You rode with Lance also? I rode with him, yeah, once or twice. But he's like, he's so good, he'd be on the phone, he'd be doing all this stuff. He's hands-free. I's like, he's so good. He'd be on the phone, he'd be doing all this stuff. He's hands-free. I'm like, you bastard.

But he tears it up. Now, what is this? You're back doing a series in LA. In LA. Why? It's a job, brother. It's a job, but it was also David E. Kelly. I had a meeting with him. He's a tremendous writer. Sweet guy, David E. Kelly. I had a meeting with him. Well, that guy is unbelievable.

He's a tremendous writer. Sweet guy, sweet, good man, and a wonderful guy to work with. And he's a tough laugh, though. Yeah. He doesn't laugh as much. You do something really funny, and this is all you get. And you're like, huh. Nothing.

Yeah, it's like, you know, be like, ah. That's like a standing ovation for him. But he's a great writer. And I thought, OK, I'll take a shot with you and then I gotta go. Now, is it hard for you with a guy like that? I think that's probably hard because... Well, when I did Mark Amindi years ago, it was like... Go back. 32 years ago when I did Mark Amindi.

That was 32 years ago? There was tape back then! There were only three networks, and the only thing that was wired was me. I was on everything but skates but it was crazy. I know, I know. I know. I've read the story. Yes, I went to rehab in wine country just to keep my options open. How does it feel now? Do you feel like this is the sobriety and the learning that you've done, is it a new lease on life?

Do you feel like the same person? It's like a total reboot. Yeah, like what is it? Does the brain, were you worried? I remember when I quit doing drugs and smoking. You remember that now. Yes, I do. But I remember being very fearful that I would lose my ability to work, to be funny or to

write that I thought that they were somehow connected. I think there's a higher power. There's also a lower power. Yeah. There's a lower power that goes, text that girl and show her pictures of your junk. It's okay. Yeah. She's not going to share that with anybody.

And the same lower power goes, you know, you need this. Come on now. I relapsed. I was up in Alaska, and all of a sudden, I hadn't been sober for 20 years, and all of a sudden, I walked into a store and saw a little bottle of Jack Daniels and went, ah, that'll be fine. That'll be okay. The moment I had the first sip, it was like, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr And I got down so quick, so I went right to blackouts. And it's a misnomer. They call it blackouts.

It's like sleepwalking with activities. That's your brain going, we're going to do stuff you're not going to know. You wake up in a small field going, where am I? Eat me. It's crazy stuff. But I think that's the illusion. And I think you come through it and you realize, yes, you can create get back and just come and the main the main operative word is fear and like you said

Yes, the fear is there and you try and overcome it with that But you know if you can deal with the fear and then realize you some material some of it isn't and then Come through that you get deeper boss. You get deep deep and the lifestyle is so You get deeper, boss. You get deep, deep, deep. And the lifestyle is so conducive to that type, because we are generally bored individuals, and we're working 40 minutes a night in Winnipeg for two straight weeks. Oh, is it?

And there's... No! That is... Don't make them angry. They're Canadians. Let me just say this. Let me just... Canada. Let me just say this. You're the nicest country in the world. You're like a suite apartment over a meth lab.

It's really... Let me just say this. You're the nicest country in the world. You're like a suite apartment over a meth lab. It's really... But it is that idea of like... And so during the day, you don't have anything to do with yourself, and you think like, I bet I could make a crack pipe. You know what I mean? It's like, hey, why don't we have a project? That's like, when does your lower voice have activities?

It's got hobbies. Like, I said it to camp, yeah, let's see what happens. How you do I'm doing good, I miss you here I was telling us backstage one of the few comics when I don't hear your comedic voice for all I miss it it's so funny and so I'm so glad to see you come back to see them. I like all your politics. Oh.

Thank you, Norm. I appreciate that. Now, they're... they're... You're Canadian. Your government has collapsed. It's completely collapsed. Yeah, well, it has? It's completely collapsed. Well, the good thing... The good thing is, uh, it doesn't matter at all.

Uh... This is why. You know, because you're such a political guy. And I realized when I came here, because I was never political, and it's because you're from America and I'm from Canada. And in America, you have a duty to be political, because you vote for the wrong guy. He blows up the world.

Now, in Canada, here's our elections in Canada go hey listen how does that guy stand on the bridge building. That's every time one guy one goes I think we should build the bridge the other guy's I don't care for the bridge. So it's all bridge-based politics. They never gave us no red phone. You know, you're president. I thought you were political. No, I didn't realize we had a red phone. You don't realize the president has a red phone?

But here's what it's come to be for in America. And you're the most trusted man in America? No, I'm not trusted. It seems like now, no matter who we vote for, no matter which guy we get, still blow it out of the world So at a certain point Maybe we just like blowing stuff up Americans

Well, I listen if I was president man. I get on that red phone right away and blow something up What would you blow up first? Yeah, that stupid high school I went to for... Jesus. Empty building in Porto. But listen, man, I'll tell you this, though. Uh, with, you know, the... with the streets of Libya running with blood...

You... Okay, I'll buy your Prevus. Yeah. Listen, the Egyptians, they're so brave, you know, and the... and the... and the-the guys in Tripoli trying to take over and, uh, Bahrain. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Here's what I'm trying to get at. I'm from Canada. We got a queen. She lives in England. Right? We're-we're so fi... We're so f***y, we can't get... She's a queen. She lives in England. Right? We're so f... We're so f... We can't get...

Seriously. I could get a bunch of buddies of mine. I swear to God, I could get two or three dozen buddies of mine. We could go over to Buckingham Palace, take over. I would totally do that with you. It's an old bag in a castle. You know what is the most difficult part of that? Finding which room she's in. Do you have any idea? If you go attack her, there's like 130 rooms.

We'd probably lose interest before we got to her. Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah. But you know, Gaddafi is surrounded by, what is he surrounded by? Bahrain. Is that not how you pronounce it? I'm guessing he's surrounded by, like, dancing girls.

He's fucking crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a nut bag. No, he likes the ladies. That's what I heard. Did you know he has a Ukrainian nurse who apparently is? Well, he follows her everywhere. Yeah, pretends he's a nurse,

but I've heard that maybe there's a little hanky-panky going, listen, I don't want a bad mouth could happen. I want to talk about Watson the Computer. Oh, let's talk about that. I'm happy to talk about that. You know that character? I love that guy. He was on Jeopardy! Crushed!

Yeah, he was on Jeopardy! He crushed. He was on Jeopardy! And he crushed. You guys know Watson the Computer? Sure. Sure is. Yeah. So, and I watched it.

It was cool. And the funny thing was, like, they were like, I wonder if, who's going to win? Watson the Computer? Or that guy that works down at the hat store. And first of all, I don't think you should be called Watson, because it wasn't Watson the guy that didn't know ****. Sherlock Holmes. He was the helper. It should be Sherlock.

Yeah, Watson was like, hey, what about this? And then he'd go, elementary, my idiot friend. So he should have been called Cheryl. But anyways, you know. It was a good aside. So Watson, naturally, he's a computer. Crushed him. Killed him, you know?

And even his stories were better. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? When Alex Trebek would say this story, I go, Watson, I understand you have a story about jail. And then Watson was like, yes. One time Oscar Wilde was in prison and George Bernard Shaw came to him and said, why, Oscar,

what are you doing in there? To which Oscar Wilde quickly retorted, why, George Bernard, what are you doing out there? You know? And the guy next to him was like, god damn, I was going to telling story about the hat. I did the guy the wrong hat that time. We got... When does this show come on?

When does this show come on air? F***ing hell. Because it was the host of... Young Comics special. Right, it was 24 years ago. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not you on. I brought you on right now to go, all right, that'll be fine. Better than that. I was... I could have gone to Woodstock,

but it was drizzling and I stayed home, okay? But I went to a lot of stuff when I was 16, 17. Now, if I had... anybody in that mug, he could have been my son, and it would have been unbelievable. CHEERING I love him. And you know what I... Can I tell you something? Whatever. It's your show. That was nicer than anything my real father ever said to me.

Here's the nicest thing my real father ever said to me. You like something that happened when I... something in the mud. No, but you would have been my son, and I would have been proud of you, but I would have asked you for one thing. Money. What? Do you remember the first thing... I met you at Carolines. I opened for you at Carolines. When it was still at the same time, I would have asked you for one thing. Money. Do you remember the first thing... I met you at Carolines.

I opened for you at Carolines when it was still at the seaport. Back in, like, the early 80s. Back in the middle... late 80s. Do you remember the first thing you ever said to me? First line, I will never forget it. You could have been my son if I... someone in the mud. No! The first thing Richard Lewis ever said to me in my life,

and I was a huge fan and remain a huge fan, was, I have terrible diarrhea. I said that? It was the first time you ever said to me, I have terrible diarrhea. I'm sorry. It's all right. I was coming back, back in Carolines,

remember there was no green room. I was gonna put my coat back, and I had my coat right up on the hook, and all of a sudden I hear from the corner, I have terrible diarrhea. Now, let me just jump to something. About nine months ago, I did The Fallon Show. But two nights before...

Yes. He's true. I know. And I had food poisoning. So my wife was with me, my public... You can't go on, because no matter what I've done in my career, if I would have taken a dump, it would have been Wikipedia. He's shit on the Fallon show. I'm gonna do you a favor.

No, I got to finish... Can I finish this? I can't finish the story. I got 25 seconds. You can finish it when I'm done with the favor. You know, I could have had you as a son if I... somebody a woodstock. Settle down. Wikipedia. Take care of that for him. They're gonna write it down for you.

No, let me just dig. I'll do it fast, because I hate leaving. Because in the middle of a sentence, you're going, Richie Lewis, everybody! And I could get a stroke. I could get a stroke. I'm in my 60s. Now, listen to what happened. Are you in your 60s? I'm in my 60s. Please, just speak.

You look terrible, huh? 60s? I shaved for you. I even... I dressed up. When you came out, I swear to God, I thought the Bible has come alive. I had no idea. 60s? And why do they always put the Bible in the hotel room? I want a Jewish, delicatessen takeout order on the other side.

I mean, I kid the Mormons, but, you know, I don't care about the Salt Lake. I want a pastrami sandwich. So, anyway, so I had a stomach... You know, when you had that, you were on the toilet for 28 hours. Sure. What had you eaten? What had you eaten? It was food poisoning. And I had a recovery...

I know, but that's what it is. So my wife says, you can't go on Fallon. And my publisher says, we got to... I'm not canceling. A show must go on. So she won. I said, do me a favor. Get me the pens, so in case it happens, no one will know. I mean, Fallon could have been like a porky.

I'm like... He could have done that. But I didn't do anything. But you got me, like, this Calvin Klein... They come out with Calvin Klein. Can I stand up? The count... I'd like that. You put the Calvin Klein in, and it sucks your stomach in like a girdle.

So I look like a... million dollars. So they said, Lady Jean-Richard Lewis. Hey, how are you? How's everything going? So I told my wife... So I did the show, it went well, and then I went out and snuck out and bought 12 pair. So the whole trip in New York, my wife's friends, he looks fucking great for 60.

Yeah. I love that. Let me tell you something. reds he looks great for 6. No, but that is what in terms of the billboard in Times Square for Calvin Klein. I love it is the Ben's. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to The Weekly Show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcasts.