The Daily Show: Ears Edition - TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart's Best Trump Takedowns of 2025

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Trump's been extra busy this year with his corrupt and chaotic handling of DEI, immigration, the trade war, SNAP benefits, foreign bribes, and more, but Jon Stewart managed to sum it all up with one big, beautiful word: Bulls**t! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Comedy Central. It doesn't make sense to wrap up the trade war right now so that we as a country can focus on the biggest thing that's weakening our great nation. Diversity, equity, and inclusion. Yes. DEI, diversity, equity, and inclusion. Mago Worlds blamed of this scourge

for everything from the fires in California to the attack on Bourbon Street, to inflation, to the Baltimore Bridge collapse, to why your children are concerned. confused about the race of mermaids. Because mermaids, boys and girls, are gingers. They've always been there. The latest example being the plane crash in Washington.

It was the DEIist. But don't take my word for it. Let's let MTV's Road Rules star and Fox and Friends B-teamer explain DEI. You can't focus on diversity, equity, and inclusion when you try to hire air traffic controllers. You want the best. You want the brightest protecting yourself and your family. We will have the best and brightest in every position possible. It is colorblind and merit-based. Look, there's a lot of reasons why the FAA is in a bad place. But these guys would have you believe that the main problem is that standards were somehow lowered to make sure that a black person

or a gay person gets a chance to land your plane, even though the requirements to become an air traffic controller are the same. But by culture warring this tragedy, Americans spent that terrible night holding their breath that the pilot or the air traffic controller wouldn't be a woman or a black person or in a wheelchair. Because what they're trying to do is make the default setting on competence in America a white guy. That's what this is, a reset to the factory default. because, of course, these two are there purely based on merit. It undercuts every black person, person of color, woman in this country, that the job that they have, they don't deserve.

It's the mantra in the Republican Party that gives you brain-turning moments like this. In the United States of America, we get ahead and succeed by merit and merit alone. Yes, merit, and merit alone says, RNC chairwoman, Lara, hold on, let me get my glasses. Trump. It was a blind submission. Never saw a name on the application. That's the irony of this whole thing.

The people standing next to Trump on that terrible night, blaming DEI and trying to reinstall white guys as the only non-suspect pool of hires are themselves DEI hires. For one particular identity that they possess, the ass kids. sir. The president's leadership has been remarkable during this crisis. Mr. President, you make our jobs a lot easier. I want to echo what the Transportation Secretary said about your leadership. Thank you for your leadership and courage on that, sir. I think you make a really important point on that, Mr. President. The president is right. And again, I want to thank you for your leadership,

Mr. President. Dei. Sucking ego inflation. Obviously, if you think of sucking as a compound word. As you know, we've been following in the case of Kilmar-Abrego-Garcia. undocumented migrant from El Salvador, married an American woman, has a kid living the American dream. Until the Trump administration sent him to an El Salvadorian megaprisome by, and I'm quoting the Justice Department here, if I may, is administrative error. If only there was a convenient and timely way that the prisoner could be brought back to the United States, that wouldn't really inconvenience either nation. President Bucheli at the moment flying from El Salvador to Washington, D.C. A ride! You don't even have to give Garcia the middle seat.

I'm sure Garcia would just grab the wing and Tom Cruise it over here if he had to. But sadly, Buckelly arrived at the White House with just the Miami club promoter clothes on his back and a pocket full of excuses. Can President Buckelea weigh in on this? Do you plan to return him? How can I smuggle a terrorist of the United States?

I don't have the power to return him to the United States. You know, can I honestly tell you, like, this isn't even the thing that's, like, they're enjoying this, like the two of them, our president, their president, well, I guess we'll just have to let him rot in a fucking prison, even though he didn't deserve to be there. I don't, you guys don't care about this guy, I'm talking about these two, but somebody else cares about this person, and you just randomly with no evidence that you'll show anybody, call him a terrorist. And one of the weirder parts about this is the thing, the only thing, the only thing,

thing that seems to upset Trump about the entire situation is having to answer a perfectly reasonable question from Caitlin Collins about it. You said that if the Supreme Court said someone needed to be returned, that you would abide by that. You said that on Air Force One just a few days ago. And they said that it must be facilitated. Why don't you just say, isn't it wonderful that we're keeping criminals out of our country? What can you just say that?

Why do you go over and over and that's why nobody watches you anymore? Nag, nag, nag. You sound just like the Supreme Court. But fear not, America. For every time a lame stream media journalist gets shunned, an ass-kissy-one gets its wings. Do you have a question, please? Mr. President, thank you so much. You scored another major investment win this morning, and Nvidia pledged to build its AI supercomputer.

The first time ever, right here in the United States. That's a question I like. That's true. Yeah, that's not a question. I guess it's your favorite kind of question, a compliment. But rest easy, Americans, if there's one thing we all know, it's that first they come for the undocumented migrants, and as long as nobody speaks out, they stop.

You mentioned that you're open to deporting individuals that aren't foreign aliens, brought criminals to El Salvador. Does that include potentially U.S. citizens fully naturalized immigrants? If it's a homegrown criminal, I have no problem. I'm talking about really bad people. really bad people. He's going to do that to U.S. citizens. I think the hosts of the view are about to get administratively erred.

I got to tell you, I did not think he would get this authoritarian this fast. I really didn't. I'm sorry. Who could have known? Maybe if somebody out there had yelled at me on blue sky about this, I would have known. But no one did, except every day in all caps. measure of Trump's first hundred days is the shrewdness he showed in the war he did start. My fellow Americans, this is Liberation Day. Liberation Day! It was a devastating sneak attack launched from the Rose Garden. Fortunately, the country he snuck up on was ours.

Tariff chaos, markets in prefall. Everybody kind of caught off guard, flat-footed on Wall Street and elsewhere. Major retailers like Target and Walmart have worn shelves could go empty in a matter of weeks. The bond market melting down overnight. There's now a 60% chance of a worldwide recession. There's chaos. There's uncertainty. No one knows what's going on.

Yes. Apparently plunging our nation into this dark economic abyss is all part of the plan. Well, in Game Series, it's called strategic uncertainty. So you're not going to tell the, uh, the, uh, person on the other side of the negotiation where you're going to end up. Right, right, right, right. But I'm pretty sure in game theory, you are supposed to tell the person on yide where they're going to end up so they don't freak the fuck out.

Or maybe it's all bullshit. And Trump launched a trade war without any of the pre-planning and preparation that needed to be done. And Bessent has to go along with it because he's in the service of an impulsive man baby that you have to lie to. so he doesn't turn his virus of vindictiveness onto you. How did you not know that other countries weren't going to fight back? Did you miss that page in the art of war? Spoiler alert. It's on page one.

China's retaliation now includes suspending exports of rare earth minerals and magnets to the United States. Those materials are essential to a number of American industries, including carmakers, aerospace, manufacturers, and semiconductor producers. China controls the refinement, the production of about 90% of the world's rare earth metals. Elon Musk said that we're having problems with a magnet issue. The materials for the magnets for the robots come from China. Oh my God, the robots have no magnets. Drawings on refrigerators.

They're magnetless. And we could have stockpiled magnets in rare earth materials like Japan did in a spot with China. But why bother preparing for a war? that you yourself are launching. And really, how important are magnets anyway? Now, all I know about magnets is this. Give me a glass of water. Let me drop it on the magnets.

That's the end of the magnets. At the end of the magnet, the beginning of the magnet, doesn't really matter. And we're in this position because we've been sold this idea of Trump as the master, the art of the deal. Only he can bring these nations to heal. It is all bullshit.

I'm telling you, These countries are calling us up, kissing my ass. Trump told Time magazine that talks were underway, and that Chinese President Xi Jinping had called him. China has shot back repeatedly, saying, no, they are not talking. The president said, I've made 200 deals. Time, you've made 200 deals? Trump, 100%.

100%? Bushet. Here's how you know. 200 deals? There's only like 180 countries. Unless he's making a deal. It's true. Unless he's making a deal with Trinidad and Tobago separately.

All right, Turks, you're settled. Kekos, not the fans. I'm Kekos. Trump is not only not the best negotiator. He's maybe the worst negotiator. And it makes sense when you listen to him talking about how he thinks of our economic negotiations. The president said this. I own the store and I set the prices. And I'll say, if you want to shop here, this is what you have to pay.

If you think of us as a big, beautiful department store before that business was destroyed by the internet. Right. Why in God's name would you use a brick and mortar department store for your metaphor on our economic revitalization? I think of America as a tower records. I, the president, put the CDs on the racket, I priced them. If you want to listen to Bloodhound gang, where else are you going to go? There's nowhere else to go. Or maybe that's just how capitalism works.

The American president sets the prices and decides who's allowed to come into the store. And then other nations come back in six months and the whole country is a spirit Halloween. What is he doing? But his negotiating skills aren't the real danger to this country. What's going to fuck us up is his obsession with the concept of the leverage that he has.

We have all the leverage if you know what you're doing. We do have leverage because we're the pot of gold. Using my leverage and it's a tremendous leverage and I used it before very well. You don't have the leverage. That's the key misunderstanding here. Trump is so arrogant. He thinks the leverage is his. It's ours.

We the people. And it took us 200. It's not your leverage. Why would you even think it is? It took the people 250 years of striving to live up to a constitutional republic and rule of law, painstaking equity that you are squandering. That is the crux of American exceptionalism. You just want to make us great.

That's a downgrade. Our brand is not strategic. uncertainty, and you are not the keeper of our pot of gold. You are a temporary leprechaun. And the more hammered President Trump you are with your authoritarian whims, the more that you turn our shining city on a hill into just another ordinary despot-led sea-level shithole. So if I could just put this, if I could just... Put this in negotiating terms you can understand. Donald!

Trump administration is preparing to accept a super luxury Boeing jumbo jet from the royal family of Qatar. That luxury jumbo jet, which has a value estimated at $400 million, the aircraft would be used by President Trump as a new Air Force One and then transferred to the Trump Presidential Library Foundation shortly before he leaves office. What? is giving us a plane

that Trump gets to keep. He's like the reverse Oprah. Get a jet. And that's it. I get a jet for my library. Why does his library need a jet?

Why would your presidential library need... Yeah, hello. I'm calling from Europe, and I need a book. About Trump by morning. And the book must travel into comfort and style. one can only get from Qatar. It's known as the most luxurious private jet in the world

described as a flying palace. It features the biggest master bedroom in the sky, as well as some very plush living quarters and several private offices. Some of the nine bathrooms on board have full showers and even a bidet. I didn't even know water could go there, okay? Holy crap.

That is not a plane. That is a flying f*** palace. I'm not going to tell Trump how to run his business, but I would steam the shit out of those carpets. But hey, it's a jet from Qatar. We can trust them. They're not suspect like Canada or working to undermine us like all of our other Democratic allies in Europe. Qatar is considered an American ally, but it is also an ally of Iran and China and even Hamas. Oh, Trump's going to take a 400 million.

jet from people, he would expel from Columbia University. You know what? This is shocking. This is shocking. I think I know what this news might do to our eye pubes.

It raises many, many eyebrows to have this sort of deal at all. Actually, that's how the plane flies. It overcomes Earth's gravity through the power of the raised eyebrows. Look, obviously the president would understand that a gift of this magnitude from a government with questionable ties to terror organizations combined with Article 1, Section 9, Constitutional Prohibition against the president accepting a foreign flying palace, he would understand that that's a legitimate... I'm just kidding. He was appalled that you'd even ask.

They're giving us a free jet. I could say, no, no, no, don't give us. I want to pay you a billion or $400. million or whatever it is. Or I could say, thank you very much. It's not a free jet. That's the point. You know the expression, there's no such thing as a free lunch? That's about being skeptical of the motives of somebody who gives you a sandwich. A sandwich, a BLT.

Now, imagine that that BLT has an engine, nine bathrooms, and funds proxy war. Admittedly, it's starting to feel like there might be something to this whole king thing. Let's go to the source. The original no king's protest, the revolution. Let's see what's in the Declaration of Independence. I just want to see very quickly, if we have, hold on a second. There's listed 27 specific grievances against the king. Time for a surprise inspection.

Let me just see very... There's no difference in color. Is store-bought colonial... Let's see what the declaration says. Give me. The declaration says, ah, he has kept among us in times of peace, standing armies without the consent of our legislatures. Done. Setting off our trade with all parts of the world.

That does sound familiar. He has obstructed the administration of justice. It's getting hot in here. And here's one more. Oh, he has excited domestic insurrections amongst us. I mean, come on. I'm calling it. Look, maybe Trump isn't an all-powerful king, the kind who can do whatever he wants, but he's undeniably king-adjacent, king-esque, moving for more. He's the imitation crab of kings right now. I can't believe it's not king. Most notably, this weekend marked the passage of the legislative coup that was Trump's big tax and spending bill. Now, I'm going to let you know there were some cuts.

The Medicaid cuts alone could total roughly $930 billion, with at least 11.8 million people at risk of losing their health coverage. It also cuts another $285 billion in food assistance, an end to clean energy credits from the Biden era. New caps on the amount that students can borrow in federal loans. Three million poor people and kids will lose school lunch help. I think that last one is supposed to read, 3 million poor people and kids will lose school lunch.

Intonation. It's a lot of painful cuts on a lot of vulnerable populations. But to be fair, at least America will finally make a dent on the deficit. This mega bill will increase the deficit by $3.4 trillion. What the fuck? Holy shit. You, what? You somehow managed to start.

severely cut the safety net and expand the deficit. That's one of those, hey man, how did you gain all that weight? OZMPIC, that's something that's hard to give. Even though some of our nation's most vulnerable are taking a pay cut, fear not. Other people are getting a raise. There's $157 billion in new spending for the military and another $150 billion for immigration and border enforcement. $150 billion for immigration and border enforcement?

Are you telling me all this crazy shit that has been happening is broke ice? Is that what you're saying? What is ICE going to do when they have real money? Oh, oh, that's nice. They're going to do the Kanye Diamond masks. Classy. But America's military and paramilitary weren't the only winners in this bill. Changes to the tax code could benefit corporate America than manufacturers.

The bill features roughly $4 trillion in tax cuts, mostly for the wealthiest Americans. The estate tax becomes permanent and more generous. The holy grail of this tax plan, the best part of it for businesses, is bonus depreciation. And all the private jetmakers have been salivating over this possibility. I'm not sure that liquid is saliva. But okay, the winners continue to be the winners. Either way, this bill was a big victory for mega. And Republicans were turked.

That was the party they had for the Epstein list not being released. What that was. There was no list. There never was a list. The DOJ may be releasing the list of Jeffrey Epstein's clients. Will that really happen? It's sitting on my desk right now to review. Is it at the list and said no list?

That we can walk through this tax and spending bill and how this bill encapsulates a ton of General Washington bullshittery. For instance, political hypocrisy. This bill was 970 pages. They jammed it through with barely any time to read it. How did Republicans feel about that when Democrats did it? This thing is moving too fast. People aren't even going to be able to read this bill.

They hope that nobody's going to take the time to read the bill overnight between right now and 8 o'clock in the morning when we're supposed to vote on. The determination of the White House and the Democratic majority to shove this down the throat of the American people. When it happens to them, it's shoving it down their throat. It's an outrage. But when it's for Republicans, it's just, come on, America. Relax the glottis. breathe through your nose. It'll all be over soon.

And then we'll get brunch. Is it the glottis? I don't know. That was... It was the funniest throat organ I could think of. It should have been clear that this bill, like everything else, was going to pass on the day they said it was going to pass,

that the nose for the bill were for show. Like Senator Josh Hawley's deep concerns. This is really, Real Medicaid benefit cuts. I can't support that. No Republicans should support that. We're the party of the working class, Mono.

We need to act like it. Hmm. Do you need to act like it? Did you act like it, Josh? Did you? Holly ended up voting for the bill. He put in a statement, quote, I will continue to do everything in my power

to reverse future cuts to Medicaid. Oh, yes, future cuts. Everything in my power for future cuts, except voting no in the present. Or how about Senator Ron Johnson? You've got deficit concerns for the children. I'm concerned about my children and my grandchildren and the fact that we are stealing from them. We are stealing from our children and grandchildren.

37 trillion dollars in debt and we're going to add to it as Republicans. That is unacceptable. You'll never guess who accepted it. Senator Ron Johnson flipped from a no to a yes. Sorry, children and grandchildren. Maybe next future. Any other Republican who initially said, this is terrible, I'm not voting for this,

and had an even dumber reason for flipping yes? Tim Burchett from Tennessee. I'm looking at your dumbass. The president was wonderful, as always, informative, funny, told me he liked seeing me on TV, which is kind of cool. Yeah, he signed a bunch of stuff. It's cool.

Well, are they cool? He signed a bunch of stuff. bunch of stuff for you. It was cool. Was that your class's first trip to Washington? He gave his M&M's. I'll vote whatever he want me to. Whatever you...

Nothing makes me distrust Donald Trump more than saying that guy is good on TV. Wrestling. The only difference between that vote and wrestling is that wrestling is fun and takes actual courage. And they didn't even get concessions to flip their vote. Only one senator apparently got meaningful concessions.

And that's Lisa Murkowski of Alaska. And those concessions really wouldn't work anywhere else but Alaska. Senator Paul said that this was that your vote was a bailout for Alaska at the expense of the rest of the country. Oh my God. That's what Senator Paul said.

Senator, we've got the I didn't say it, ma'am, I'm just asking for your response. She stares him down and the reporter goes, I didn't say it. I got it. I didn't, I don't know. I'm just, look, I don't even like this. I wanted to work in the control room, but I'm handsome.

I'm going to be out of because they didn't want this moneymaker to go to waste. But excluding all the fake narrative, shenanigans, and hypocrisies and fecklessness is the central truth of this bill. Once again, it's the bullshit gospel of austerity. The gospel they preach anytime the country's finances are in shambles and out of control. Our problem isn't excess at the top. It's the sloth at the bottom. We don't pay people in this country to be lazy.

If somebody's able-bodied and they can go get a job and they're living in their mom's basement playing video games, I'm sorry, you gotta go get a job. Get off the couch, stop eating the Cheetos, stop buying the medical marijuana and watching television. First of all, nobody talks about my audience like that. Nobody. You hear those f***in Cheetos, man. Second of all, it is such a fucking lazy and wrong.

I don't know if you've noticed, but those people smoking dope sitting around playing video games, they're all fucking Twitch millionaires now. And it's this lazy, bullshit narrative that our finances are screwed because of how comfortable we have made it for the poor. A mindset, perhaps perfectly encapsulated by this human editorial cartoon, Congressman Troy Nels. Can I ask you, though, about the CBO score and the idea that 11 million, 12 million Americans make me lose self-insurance? confidence in the CBO.

They're scoring. They're wrong half the damn time. I don't give any. Now. A congressman who just voted to force people off of Medicaid and food assistance. Just smoking a fatty with both hands bandaged. From what I can only assume is a friction burn. From too much celebratory masturbation.

Medicaid and food stamps. country isn't the sliver of able-bodied people that are somehow coasting on the unearned medical coverage they may or may not use but the millions and millions of people in this country who work faking full-time jobs and still need food and medical assistance that's the system that's broken fix that system what are we talking about and yet oh we're always gaslit into the framework of the deserving poor. And I gotta tell you, the deserving poor, they have very much disappointed the deserving rich.

Open AI founder, Sam Altman, said he was politically homeless in the July 4th message he posted to X. Excuse me, not to be that guy. I believe the term is politically unhoused. But go on. How have the Democrats let you down? I'd rather hear from candidates, about how they are going to make everyone have the stuff billionaires have

instead of how they are going to eliminate billionaires. That's the pitch. Everyone should be, wouldn't we all just run out of foam? Wouldn't that? I wasn't invited. But that's the pitch. Somehow it is fiscally irresponsible to build a stronger floor for everyone to stand on

if it may in any way lower the already astronomical ceiling height experienced by the rare few. This bill is the most f*** up performance review our country could ever deliver. It's the government sitting us all down and telling us where we've been irresponsible with the spending.

We start with the wealthy. Thank you for coming in. I know it's hard when you only work one day a week, but thank you for making the time. It's been a tough year, but as always, wealthy, you're killing it. In the words of a place

you probably never eat at, We're loving it. And so once again, for the, I'm going to say 80th year in a row, you're getting a raise. Now, if you excuse me, I have a busy day, another review to deliver. Two freeloading motherfuckers. It has come to my attention that some of you are having breakfast and lunch. Maybe you haven't heard our deficit is out of control. We need that lunch money for more important things, which reminds me.

What if I gave you a tax deduction for taking a private jet to your private jet? If time permits, perhaps we could take it to that non-existent island I've heard so much about. That was here. Or it, you, this, Blune, is Christmas goose you can find, and take it to the airport. I have a pilot. Look, blaming migrants and the able-bodied poor is why Trump won this election. But a system where working people struggle so much is why Mom Donnie. won his election.

And for all the people who are worried about Mamdani's socialist tendencies, guess what? He's the best case scenario. Because this system is not sustainable. And if this doesn't change, there's going to be

more drastic action. Really? This past weekend, the shutdown took its worst turn yet. As notices began to go out for health insurance premium hikes, and millions of Americans also lost their snack. or food snap benefits. It's as heartbreaking as it is infuriating,

but there's one American who's taking this harder than anyone else. The president is desperate for snap benefits to flow to the American citizens who desperately rely upon it. He is a big-hearted president. Is he big-hearted? Loves us?

Because again, and maybe I'm misinterpreting it, but he did just recently dump diarrhea. I don't know if you remember that, yeah. He just, he cares a lot about the American people. Obviously, he does have a diarrhea plane. Maybe that is out of love. It feels somewhat dismissive. But of course, I'm only seeing the small portion of the day he spends dumping diarrhea from a plane on the American people.

I'm sure that's not the entirety of his efforts on our behalf. He is so resolutely focused on delivering for the American people. American people all day, every day, seven days a week, 20 hours a day. You miss an executive order? Days are? How far did you guys set your clocks back? How... But okay, seven days a week, 20 hours a day.

Four hours for diarrhea plane training. But point taken, Donald Trump is a big heart of caring man who works 20 hours a day, seven days a week to deliver for the American people. So I imagine if I were to randomly turn on the camera at Mar-a-Lago, where Trump was on the very night that the poorest of American people lost their food benefits, we would see images that reflect Trump's concern and dedication. Is that correct? You know what? In fact, let's turn on that camera. Yeah.

Doing this weekend. He wasn't working for the American people. people. That was just some Hollywood Babylon shit. That once and for all shows that Donald Trump doesn't give a fuck about even looking like he gives a fuck. Honestly, how uncomfortable is the seating in Mar-a-Lago? On the very night, Snap Benefits ended. Trump, through a Great Gatsby-themed, owed to decadence and hedonism that even Jeffrey Epstein would have thought was a little over the top.

There were dancers, costumes, champagne, a wonderful celebration where the theme was apparently gross income inequality. The slogan of the party, as people were losing their food benefits was, I shit you not, a little party never killed nobody. Did you even read the great? I knew that. And I've only read the cliff notes. The Great Gatsby is a cautionary tale.

And it's the theme for your... What did you just think? Oh, it's a great book about a rich guy who bangs married ladies. Partially, yes, but the... You see, usually in a time of national suffering, there's a generally accepted principle in leadership that you at least pretend to feel the pain of the people that you represent.

But this president seems to go out of his way to let struggling Americans know that he is doing for it. Your premiums may be. be going up. Tariffs may be shutting down your small businesses. You may be losing your food assistance, but it'll all be okay because Donald Trump is building a ballroom that looks like the inside of Marie Antoinette's vagina. Yeah. I don't actually know that. That was rude. I've heard. I know what you're thinking as your electricity bill sky rockets and they're shutting off your heat. Will guests of this ballroom be able to shit in barbed rooms? Well, the answer is yes.

President Trump revealed photos of a newly renovated Lincoln bathroom. He posted six times today about it. He uploaded a total of 25 detailed photographs of the gold and marble upgrades, including the view from his new toilet. You know, I'm not an architect. Who designs a bathroom with ass-level windows? I mean, is that... Aren't you gonna frost the glass a little bit there?

Throw some shutters up? You're going to have tour groups walking by just like, go. That's not good. So with all this, it's kind of hard to argue that Trump has been laser focused on, you know, needy Americans and funding SNAP benefits during the shutdown, especially when the notorious power-grabbing unitary executive that is Trump pleads that his bruised hands are tied. The president has lamented this. He has informed USDA and everybody.

Do as best you can, but the money doesn't exist to do it. The truth is, there's no legal mechanism. to do it. President Trump can't just wave some magic wand and fix the mess. There's nothing we can do at this point. There's not much more we can do because the rules of the road by which we have to play. The rules? Did you just say you can't do it because of the rules? The rules of the road? When have you followed the road, well, you followed the road rules?

But when have the administration, when has this administration followed the rule? You guys have been grand theft fucking all. left fucking auto this entire presidency. We're just going to take a quick break from unauthorized Caribbean boat bombing and sending hairdressers to El Salvadorian prisons to remind everybody, no passing on the right. Got to respect the rules of the road. How disingenuous has this gotten?

You'll never guess which branch of government that the Trump administration is deferring to for guidance on these food assistant payments. When can we expect the Trump administration to make these payments? Well, President Trump just truthed out that he needs to hear from the courts how this is going to be done. And you, you, Donald Trump are now waiting for the activist, radical, left, lunatic Trump, hating, biased, hardly partisan, unchange, agitator judges to give you the okey-doke. Is that what I'm hearing? President Trump just truthed out that he's very anxious to get this done

and it's got to go through the courts. Nonsense. And stop trying to make truth out happen, okay? Like it's a real verb. He just... Well, it's an excellent question.

He just truthed out. Like, what... Just that the president said. The president, truth talked. You're a f***ing grown man. You're a grown man. Oh man, act like it. Secretary of the Treasury.

Hey, yo, did you see what Trump truth out? Like six, seven, bussing. Whoa, hey, I'm busing. I was told that means something. So the courts ruled Friday that the administration does have to continue some snap benefits. And the administration has finally agreed to at least partially funded. But even then, they're so weird about it. We have a little rainy day fund for food stamps in case.

there's a disaster, which is about half as much as you need for a month of food. And they're saying, oh, just release that. Yeah, actually what we are, it's a rainy day fund. This qualifies. But also, as you've seen with a hurricane in Jamaica, that, you know, if our rainy day fund is gone, then what happens if we have a rainy day? Have to literally be, we have the money, and I see you hungry, but you're not hungry and wet. So get doused and then get back and see me.

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