The Daily Show: Ears Edition - TDS Time Machine | Late Night Hosts

Episode Date: December 29, 2025

Get your late night fix with these interviews with after hours comedy luminaries. Former correspondent and current host of Last Week Tonight, John Oliver stops by TDS to chat with Ronny Chieng. Jimmy Kimmel joins Jon Stewart before his late night hosting debut on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Conan O'Brien talks to Jon about a recent visit to Cuba. Jimmy Fallon sits down to talk hosting The Tonight Show and his new collection of thank you notes. The Late Show host Stephen Colbert stands with Jon as Conan challenges them to hand-to-hand combat. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Comedy Central. My guest tonight is a former failed correspondent at The Daily Show. He's done nothing since then. Please welcome Mr. John Oliver. Thank you. Hello. Yes. All right.

We get it. Enough already. I agree with you more than I agree with them. Well, well, well. Look who's come crawling back. Yes. Where are all started. I know.

It's pretty weird. to be back. I do not like being in that guest room at all. Oh, really? That was the one room where I worked here. You were not allowed to go in, and I don't like being in it now. It feels like I'm doing something wrong by being inside it. You never snuck in to see a guest? No, no, no, no, no, no. No. We were never allowed to really be in there because it had to be kept nice for the guest. And it never really occurred to me. One day, I might be that, and I still don't feel it. So I put my bag in there and then stood in the corridor for the rest of it. I don't want to be in there at all. place to bring us my memories. You were here. You are in this building.

I was very much in this building. Yeah. This was the reason I came to America. And I was here for eight years. Yeah. Same. That's why. That's why I was so happy you came on because we, people don't know by looking at us, but we actually have very similar backgrounds. Because we both joined the show. I moved to America to do this show, just like you. And when I first joined the show, you know, the Daily Show alumni network is so strong. I asked to meet up with Mr. Oliver.

Yeah, and I thought this... Mr. Oliver. He was Mr. Oliver. I was like, there's no way this guy's going to let me meet up with him. And you were like, no, come before work. There's nothing. There's nothing I like more than talking to people who have questions about how to make field pieces.

Yeah. Because it's such a narrow set of skills. Yes. And all of your questions were great. I remember you leaving and thinking, oh, you're going to be fine. Even though you don't have the answers yet, all your questions are right,

So you're going to be fine. You do not have a problem. Oh, that's right. I will say, before we make it too sincere, you do have that unique skill set of not minding being a dick to people. And that really, at the end of that is the secret source. Well, that is the, I mean, you know, you have to really not care to do satire sometimes. And everyone's like, people, I don't think people know how much you don't give a fuck.

Yes. Like, you truly don't give a fuck. You will go hard. In the marrow of my bones, sometimes when our lawyers say, they're going to be upset. You go, I'm not having a physical reaction to that at all. Yes. It is no concern to me whether the Sackler family are mad with me or not.

To be honest, I'm a little bit. There's a tingle of happiness. Yeah, but that's what you need to do. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. You like the feeling. I like the feeling of trouble. Yeah, you did, yeah. In comedy, because I'm probably a natural coward in many ways, but when it comes to comedy, I do like

the feeling of being in real trouble. Yeah, it's weird. You talked about it. You said pushing the button. You said you just put button, you just got to push it. Because when you told me, it took you two years to relearn how to do comedy in America. I think that's probably true. You were spot on to the day, by the way.

I was, in hindsight, I was like, oh, my God. Because I remember there was a day, I was in New York City gigging at some comedy club, and it was two years in, literally almost to the day. And I remember things just starting to click a little bit of like relearning how to do comedy. Because again, like you, like me, we were doing comedy outside of America

before we came here. Yeah, and so I think the outsider perspective and comedy always works. The thing with being an immigrant here is you kind of have to learn the exact ways that your outsider perspective can translate. So you kind of have to learn basically

how that can work. And once it does, you're fine. But until that point, it does feel a little bit like uncharted waters. Yeah, it's a bit like, you know, you can come here and you can joke about America on a very surface level. And you can, and that will do well for you

for, you know, if you have a 15-minute set, maybe 30-minute set. But I feel like after nine months or a year in America, the audience can kind of smell the bullshit of like, of like, you've been here long enough. Yes. Right. Like guns shouldn't be weird to you.

That's right. So really, how profound your two-year thing was, like, it takes two years to learn the nuances of America so you can make fun of them in ways which... Yes, exactly. They appreciate. Exactly. Like, don't tell us you have guns. We We know we have guns.

Tell us something else. If we know nothing else about ourselves, is that we have guns to a genuinely problematic extent. That is not a fresh insight. We genuinely know. Yes, exactly. So you were like going deeper and deeper into it, which, you know, that was my guiding light as well.

When I first time here. I'm so glad. My incredibly insightful advice of wait 24 months worked. It worked like a charm. I still can't believe it. I just deep down didn't want to hear from you again for two years. That's all at worst. Yeah, but like that's the thing, like, we're both immigrants in America.

And do you ever, I guess my question to you is like, how do you answer the people who are like, if you don't like it here, leave? Because I get that a lot. Yeah, I mean, I guess they took, it's a, I mean, it's a horrible point, but it's a fair question. I guess now my answer would be, I'm a citizen, you can't do that. But I think I The tricky thing is I felt ownership It's very dangerous A British person saying

I felt ownership of this country Historically Historically does not go well It's amazing I just went to India And I felt like I belonged But I felt at home here Long before my legal status was solid That's the tricky thing as an immigrant guy

But the more I felt at home here The more cognizant you are of the fact that it's not up to you whether or not you get to stay or not. So it was a massive relief to get my green card and an even bigger relief to get my citizenship. So, yet, despite the fact, immigrants tend to talk shit, it's generally the kind of way that you talk shit

with someone you genuinely love. Sure. Also, as a comedian, I only really talk shit as a way of expressing love. Professionally. Exactly. I don't really know how to express myself sincerely. Right, right.

I like you. I'm never going to say that. Fuck you, Ronnie. There you see. There you go. Yeah, you and your show. That's how we love. So we get it.

You know, every interview I've researched you on, you've professed your love for America. You're still here. Clearly you still love it. Yeah. Okay, so can you shut the fuck up and be American for one minute instead of constantly complaining

and talking like a fucking foreign all the time? I mean, I challenge you. You challenge me to be American? Yes. And how would one do that? I want you to eat this hot dog right now. Oh, boy. And then I want you to,

throw this football and football you have to call it a football okay i can't do that you go i call it an american football okay american football and you're going to throw this to me so you're eat that first and you're throw this to me okay like like this no no you got a freaking tight spiral we're gonna go over there okay okay okay eat this first we got this from a bodega so you might this is the way we're And then you got to come over here and you got to stand right here. And you got to throw a tight spiral. How hard to not be?

All right, hang on, hang on. All right. Can we get a drum roll? Drum roll. For you? For you? Ready? Yeah.

Good? All right. We proved that. All right. This is last week tonight with John Oliver. As wherever you'll find it, who gives a f***? That's not how do you throw to a break, calling. We'll be right back after this.

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Head to avocadogreenmatress.com today to create your natural oasis and save big during their holiday sale. Avocado Dream of Better My guest tonight He is now the former host of the man show His new ABC Late Night series is Jimmy Kimmel live Ladies and gentlemen

Jimmy Kimmel They love They love They love him Hi John What's up man That reminds me I need to get some of these.

You don't have mugs yet? Actually, let me take this, and I will have your mug on my desk. Said the Daily Show of John Stewart. Are you good? Is that all right? I would be honored. All right. Seriously, though, we do need those. Oh, you do? You need that back?

Did he say the Daily Show on him? I saw Kathy Bates was a guest on the show, right? Recently, yes. I believe a week or two ago. Yes, just a week or two ago. I don't think you can do that because your damn thing is going to be lost. The show is going to be live, yeah. And it's debuting after the Super Bowl.

I'm glad you decided to take tiny bites. Take small bites. We wanted to ease into things. I think that's wise. You don't want to go crazy right off the bat because people are judging you. So what you want to do is come in after the damn Super Bowl. It's not a good idea. It's going to be, you're going to have a ball.

Well, I hope so. I hope so. We've done some test shows, and so far it's gone horribly. And it turns out. It turns out I'm very bad. You think I'm kidding, but you'll see. It's fine. It's easy being on this side, but when you're on that side, that's when it's much harder. On this, see, I always find that side to be much harder.

Really? Yeah, because on this side, honestly, I can just do this. And then you have to fill the time. See, because what I do is I'll fill every gap with nervous laughter and pretend enthusiasm. Just do this. That's a good anecdote. I heard you have a good anecdote for us. You know, that's me.

That's my style. Who did you interview so far in the test shows? Well, we were able to land Adam Carolla. He's a really fascinating guy. How did you get him? Is he working on anything new? My agent is a friend of his agent, and he was able to do it. See, that's what I need to learn.

I love these L.A. stories. Oh, it's Hollywood. It's crazy. See the stars I hang out with? So does Adam now, what is you going to do with him? Adam will be helping me with the show, actually. He's going to work on the show as well? Yeah, yeah, he's going to.

That's exciting and sad at the same time. No, we can't, we can't bear to be a part. And then my other, my other test show guest was Ben Stein. Well, I was also able to get it. Yeah. So week two, your parents, how's this thing going to work? It's not a bad idea. It may come to that.

It really may come to that. You know, you probably heard that David Letterman went to Afghanistan. Yeah, didn't he do some... It was like a... He spoke to the troops? Yeah, it was like I spoke to the troops. And I was inspired by that, you know, being a talk show host now that maybe I might do something. So I called my publicist and I said, grab the E.T. crew, we're going to North Korea.

That's awesome. And I have a photograph of that. That's me. And actually, we couldn't get a flight to North Korea. So I went to Korea Town in Los Angeles. But the terrific people, just like us, just like us, only Korean. In Korea Town? Yes, in Korea Town.

Now, did you, has Dave called, have the other late night host called you? Did Dave call you and say, welcome to the team? Let's have brunch. Dave didn't, but Jay did call, but it wasn't a let's have brunch. It was more of a, I hope you drop dead, you son of a bit. Is he mad at you? I think he is, he's a little annoyed. Yeah, there's room for everyone.

though. It's room for everyone. So basically, you're not backing off of this thing at all. The message is, there's room for everyone. The message seemed awfully high pitch, though, when you're doing it. No reason, no reason. Do you think, is this going to be one of those, like, mono-e-mo, is this the battle for Los Angeles?

Is it on? Is this really a late-night war? It's going to be mono-e-leno is what it will be. No, yeah, it will be, it'll be a real late-night war as he crushes me every single night. With Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. Meanwhile, I have, like, Ricardo Montalban and C.C. Rodriguez. Can I tell you something? I have far more questions for Montoban.

Everybody, who needs to see more Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anderson? Can I tell you something? We were just saying this the other day down at the OTB. More Ricardo Montelban. Well, that's great, because he and Charles Nelson Riley are my opening night guest. I look for that after the show. I am looking for that. It's going to be great.

I'm looking forward to it. Are you going to do, like, music and things of that? Yeah, we'll have music and whatever we can to fill the show with things other than me. Stop it. What are the girls who bounce going to do? Oh, the girls on trampolines? Well, they work, you know, they're working at a shelter right now. So they volunteer their time to the homeless.

That's sweet. They've decided to stick with that. Actually, our producer, Daniel Kellison will find something for them, I'm sure. I'm sorry. What was that name again? That was Daniel Kellison. And he is going to help all women. He has devoted his life to helping big-breasted women succeed, yes.

I think that's terrific work on his part, and I wish him well. And I'm assuming it has a foundation of some sort people can donate. Yes, he does. He does. Okay. Well, that's terrific. Jugs, not drugs, it's called. That's wonderful news.

Jimmy Kimmel live, Sunday night following the Super Bowl. This is live Jimmy Kimball. Welcome back to my guest tonight, the host of Conan on TBS. Please welcome Conan O'Brien. Oh my god, hey, thank you. How are it? Thank you. Welcome.

Welcome. Yes. Ola. Welcome. Welcome. Ola. You went to Cuba. You're fluent. Incredible.

But you are fluent. I'm not really fluent. I have a pretty good eighth grade Spanish that I have kept up over the years, and that served me well. But we brought two of our writers are fluent. Oh, really? And we brought two of them to help us in Cuba.

We explained. So Conan went to Cuba and shot a showdown. An episode of my show. Yeah. President Obama announced that we were going to try try and warm up relations a little bit with Cuba. I thought this is my chance. I wanna get in before the view gets down there.

Because you know they're honing in on this thing. And so we got down there. We actually weren't sure we were gonna get into the country because we didn't make a lot of preparations. Sure. We weren't sure we were gonna get into the country. We flew in. We were told we had the right papers.

We showed up. There's no internet. So our phones didn't work. We got off the plane. internet at all? There's no internet. No, there is no internet. They do not want people freely exchanging information. So there's no internet, which is very strange. You got off the plane. We walked in, we handed our papers to them. The guy looked at it, our phones are dead, and our plane is gone, and the guy just looked at us, and he said, no. And I didn't know

what's going to happen now. Are we going to get out? Are we going to get in? What's going to happen? We wandered into a little building, and there was an old television, and it was playing Gilmore Girls in Spanish. And I've never... The only way to watch it. I've never felt, yeah. I've never felt more happy to see.

And it was so... And it was Rory deciding, it was Rory deciding, should I, I'm going to quit Yale, or should I stay in Yale? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was enthralled. I'm watching it in Spanish.

The parents are upset. The grandparents are upset. No one in Cuba cared. No one was watching the TV. And then finally after... Did they know when you came in, though? Didn't anyone say, uh, Coco de team?

You know, nothing. No, they do not know me. We were, I was ID'd by, I got in, our camera crew got in. What happened was, I started walking around, we started shooting in Cuba, immediately, we didn't know how long we were gonna get to stay. And immediately, Canadians, those damn Canadians,

you all know what I'm talking about, the scourge of the world, no, the Canadians started, Canadian tourists are down there, and tourists from Europe and tourists from- Is that the weird part? So you go through this thing, you might get killed, you can't get in, you have to show your papers. Meanwhile, people from the entire rest of the world have been going there forever. Yeah.

And are just like, oh, hey. Yeah. But it's a completely, it is a completely different world. It is a world that's frozen in time. My concept of this was, I just want to go and meet the people. Obviously, it's a politically charged situation. But I want to go and do my, by now, tired schick for these people and see if it is at all amusing to them. either...

They seem to be quite taken with your cigar, I think. What I did was I learned to dance there. I learned to sing. What dance did you learn? The rumba. The quite, the erotic rumba. I think that's actually a vacuum cleaner. That's not...

I'm pretty sure that's... Apparently it's both. Apparently it is both. I learned... I went to a rum factory, became intoxicated. That is a cigar factory where 400 people work and they're... They're artists.

They make these beautiful cigars handmade, each one. Cigars, rum, and dancing. So you basically, it was like a date night. Went down there and had. It was, it was, it was a sophisticated spring break. Were they interested in, once you said, I'm sure, did they smell the American on you? Or did they think, did you try and pass?

They thought I was from Ireland. They were like, Yes, a leprechaun. Is Bob's big boy. Oh, they know Bob's big boy. They do. Yeah, they're very interested about that. That is interesting.

They were fascinating. They are very interested in how the United States views them. The people are very interested in getting to know us and us getting to know them. They're very eager for it. We had no government intervention. It was very sweet. I actually, I didn't want it to be communically snarky in any way. I did not want it to be that.

I wanted it to be me. The joke is on me. I'm the fish out of water. Right. I wanted to try and make them laugh and really get to know the people. And they were fantastic. They were absolutely stupid. I really think it's going to be a love at the people.

The government's, who the hell cares? But the people, I think, are thirsting for that interaction. They are definitely thirsty for it. Yeah. All right. Well, I'm excited. When does it air? When does the thing air?

Oh, it will never air. What? No, no, no. I'm just wasting your time. It's next week, Wednesday, March 4th, I think. Anybody got an app? I think it's the fourth. I don't know.

Why don't I just read it? Because it appears just now. you know what you know what's crazy as you asked me i saw it right there and i thought there's a reason you're leaving i can't see me anymore yeah connor o'brien tvs week next at 11 the special airs on march first it's corner o'brien he is the host of the very funny NBC's late night with jimmy found his new book co-authored with his writing staff is called thank you notes Please welcome to the program, Jimmy Vallen! Welcome, welcome.

This is very exciting for me. It's very exciting for me as well. I can't be my first time on this program. It's definitely my first time I'm invited. This is my first time, and I'm on it, and I'm very excited to be here, because I'm a big fan of the show, and I'm a fan of what you do.

Let me say this, and this is not smoke. I have not seen your show. Okay, all right, no, no, no. I have seen your show. I have seen your show. It's on very late at night. I really like it. You know what I very much like about it?

No. You got, first of all, Stevie Higgins, who's, uh... Steve Higgins is our announcer, who's also a producer on SNL and worked with John Stewart. Years and years ago. Great guy. One of the funny human beings. Super funny. Yes.

Questo and the Roots. Questlove and the Roots. Great man. They're the best. You guys. just look like exactly what you should be doing there, you're having fun. It's a very infectious program. And please tell me you are having fun.

If this is all a facade and a lie, I will be very upset. You see my acting. I can't do it. I can't act that good. But I mean, I would say this show equally has a certain amount of fun. You know, you are here to receive. To receive. Sit back and enjoy. This is for you.

I'm very pleased to see it. I'm smudging up the desk. I feel this is a... No, stop it. It feels like an iPhone. And it's just full of... I'm smudging up. I just want to rub my face next to it.

And it's just do it like that? Yeah. I just hung up on somebody. You're calling me. Stop calling me. This is a giant iPhone. It's the new iPad. This is unbelievable.

These are the fingerprints of every guest we've ever had on the show. Oh, my goodness grace. John McCain. John McCain, Desmond Tutu. Oh, I knew it was his. Yeah. This is all...

Tracy Morgan? Tracy Morgan, yeah. That's actually DNA. I don't know what that. That's not... Yeah. I won't touch that one, but that's good. No, that's not one you want to touch.

It's more of it. His fingers are sliding down there. I don't know what happened there. Right to the museum. A lot of evidence there. This is really good. This is fantabulous. Thank you.

Are you enjoying your show? Is it a... Yes. It's super fun. It's a grind. But it's like, whatever. It's like, we get to have fun people on the show. It's just we have to work a lot.

I called you. I called Jimmy. This was a while back. I could not contain myself. Do we have the picture of the event? This is a picture of Jimmy dressed as Neil Young, and he's singing next to Bruce Springsteen, dressed like 70s Bruce Springsteen. They're singing, what is it?

Whip my hair. Whip my hair. Yeah, by Willisbury. Whip my hair back and forth. It was hilarious. He got to whip you. With my hair back and forth. I'm not jumping in, by the way.

No, yeah. Do you remember what you said in me? You got a whip you. You got to whip your hair. That's your only impression I can do. That's a good for this reason. Thank you. You called me up and said two very nice words.

Oh, fuck you. You really did. You said that and I go, and I go, John Stewart? Yeah. You know, you were the first person to call me in, in, in, in, you're the first person. general when I first got late night. My first, uh, I got late night, I got, I didn't get an office until the day I went on the air. And you called me the first time and they go, John Stewart's on the phone. I go, this is insane. Tom, and, and I said them, I go, don't think

you can come after me, kid. I could smell the cigar smoke over the phone. I said to him in my best Irving old man voice, I will destroy you. Don't think you can come after me. Don't think you come after me, you piece of a bit. Yeah. Thank you notes. This is, the thank you notes is on the bookshelves now. This is, uh, you put this together. This clearly you guys took a lot of time and put this together. Yeah. It's, um, this is, um, this is, this is real. I mean, this had to, there were, there are words in there. Right. This had to been done at least by an intern with tape. They, um, but not like that clear tape. We don't see the end is, no, no, no, no. What it is is every Friday, if you don't mind, I'd like to read. Every

Friday, I'd like to send out some thank you. There you go. So I brought them here. I'm going to fake write them. I'm going to read them right now. Oh, do you want to read one on the show? If you don't mind. No, not at all, please.

Just read a thank you. Yeah. Read one. Oh, you have music. You brought music. That's my BFF for six months. That's Stephen Colbert playing the keyboard right there, you guys. That's nice.

He used to play that music for me. All in due time. You don't want to talk about? Doesn't matter. Oh my gosh. Change his voice. Just change your . Turn his mic off.

Turn his mic off. All right, here we go. Thank you, slow walking family, walking in front of me on the sidewalk. No, please, take your time. Definitely spread out to as you create a barricade of idiots. I am so thankful that you forced me to walk in the street and risk getting hit by a car

in order to pass you so I can resume walking at a normal human pace. Thank you. Here, right on this one. You have to write it on that one. By the way, I don't want to say anything, but that sounded somewhat sarcastic. You're starting to get it. Yeah.

Thank you, Stephen. I don't get calm to it. Thank you, Chili's menus for showing how many calories are in your food. And then I act like I'm writing? Yeah, yeah, I'm ready. I'm in a chili. What part of I don't give a crap do you not understand? Yeah.

You really... So it's easy thank you notes like that. But I don't think these are going to get a positive response. They seem sarcastic. No, they're not. They're thanking actual people. I don't get young people humor. You've always said that.

Thank you notes is on the bookshelves now. Get it now before it blows away. Jimmy Fallon! Oh, Johnny Stewart! on earlier we talked a little bit about the super bowl but don't worry you're not going to bed without what you wanted tonight you're not going to bed without what you came for it's right it's john stewart's annual super bowl commercial wrap-up what were the funny commercials what were the sad commercials who wasted money and what are the kinds of things that people can do

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I just, uh, I know. I just, uh, I'm sorry to stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. I know you love the commercial rap. John, I just, uh, I'm sorry to interrupt. I'm sure the commercial thing was going to be great. I was going to do my commercial wrap up. There were some really funny ones, but others that were not as funny. I just wanted to come over personally to thank you, man-to-man, friend-to-friend, for what you did for me last week on my show. Stop it. Now, for people who don't know, I'm in a little bit of a tiff right now with Conan O'Brien.

He claims that he made Mike Huckabee. That's silly. Because he talks about Walker, Texas Ranger and Chuck Norris supports Huckabee. When the truth is, everybody knows, I made Huckabee by giving him the Colbert bump. Right. Then Conan attacked me by saying he made me by talking about me on his show. And last week, this good man came on my show and set the record straight with a little bit of tape. You know why I did it?

About who made... Can I tell you why I did it? I would love to. Because nobody puts baby in a corner. That's right. Nobody puts baby in a corner. Chuck, can we show everybody? Can we show everybody what John did?

We don't need to do that, actually. Look at that. Okay, that's... Look at that. Yeah, we didn't... I know it's alarming, but don't avert. your gaze, folks. That was me showing that I introduced Conan.

Exactly. So I made Huckabee, and Conan made me, and you made Conan, you made Huckabee, my friend. We kept it in the family. Exactly. That's right. But I got to tell you, John, here's the disturbing thing. Yeah.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. To prove it. Well, that humiliation. Can we show that film again, Chuck? No, no, no, no. Look how humiliating that is. John, that piece of tape right there just shows that behind the suit.

Behind the fame, you're empty. There's nothing backing up your career. That's it. That's who you are behind all this. During that era, that was actually quite fashionable. That era is over, John. Well, Bon Jovi killed it. Speaking of killing, John.

What? I got to say. Is there more to this story? There is more to this story. How long will it take? Hard to believe. How long is this act? Now, John.

Hold on. John, Conan will not let this thing go. Even though we've proven who made Mike Huckabee... On his show, on Friday night, he attacked both of us by saying he made both of us. Chuck, do we have that? Oh, no, you didn't. John Stewart now claims he created me.

Well, tonight I'm going to settle once and for all who created whom, all right? Ladies and gentlemen, behold this photograph that proves I was the doctor who delivered John Stewart and Stephen Colbert. I think this ends the feud. I think it ends the feud. But this is my warning. This is not a threat. This is a promise.

If either Stewart or Colbert mentions this again in any way, I'm going over to their tiny little studio and I'm kicking some comedy central ass. Are we clear on that? That's what I'm talking about. Stephen, why did you bring this up? Why did you even come up?

I thought you should know, John. He seems pretty serious. No, I think he's absolutely serious. Oh, he is. And he is a big, dangerous man. He's like seven foot four, John. He said he was going to kick our asses. Why did you come and talk about this?

He's going to hear about this. No, he's not, John. There's no way. For one thing, I happen to know Conan O'Brien is too cheap to pay for cable. Not only is he too cheap. I happen to know that Conan O'Brien is too stupid to even figure out that we are talking about him. about him and even if Conan O'Brien were to ever make a move on either one of the side,

I don't think he should be talking about this. I don't want to talk about this. I got your back on this. I don't want to do it. I don't want to talk about it. I don't think this is a smart thing. It's no. Would you excuse me one second?

I feel like we've lost the light. Oh! I put Baby in a corner! in a corner. I warned you. I warned you both. Do not keep this going, but you couldn't listen. You want to tangle red?

I want to tangle. How do you want to settle this? I want to settle this a civilized way with violence. Violence, ladies and gentlemen. Let's do it. Come on. I'm gonna kick your ass. I'm gonna kick your ass.

You're ready, John? You ready to go? Come on, let's do it. Let's do it! Let's do it! Let's do it! Yeah, come on! This way? We should go this way?

I don't know. I don't know. I'm new here. Let's go this way. What's that? A, there's no exit. B, I have to finish my program. I have a Tim Gunn interview and Moment is in and that sort of thing.

Oh, he's good. He's very good. Yeah, fashionable. Why don't you finish up here? We will be in the hall and then let the ass kicking commence. Oh yeah. All right. You and me and this guy.

All right. Let's do it. Let's do it. I think better not be empty. Okay, uh, I'm going to take a little commercial break, and, uh, pa-p-p-p-pa-p-p-p-th. Then we're going to interview Tim Gunn, and then I'm going to go get in a physical confrontation. We'll be right back after this! I'm a fan, by the way.

Oh, thank you. You're good, too. Thank you. I like... Thanks very much. The show that you do. Have you seen my show? No.

I'm not up late. How long is his show going on for? He does about four hours and then they cut it down to 22 minutes. Yeah. Pretty quiet in there. Is there a studio audience? Yeah, they... No.

No. They put all the laughter in later. Okay. Do you harmonize? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Take the low parts. Wanna try a little something?

Oh, say. Can you? Can you? Oh. I'll go high. Ha, ho. Ha, ho. Let's say that.

Ha, ho. Say, Oh, say. Can you see by the dawn's early life? What so proudly we take it, take it. With that flare everywhere. Uh, separate. Hey, everybody, that's our show.

Join us tomorrow night at 11. Uh, by the way, you know what your moment of Zen is tonight? Me going outside to kick some gangly Irish ass. All right. Yeah. Let's do this thing. I will rip your face from your head. Yes.

And then I will probably. get a lot of blood on your very nice sports jacket. Get another one. Where's Stephen? Stephen had to tape his show. He had to, yeah. All right, well, let's... We should get him, probably.

And then... And then... Boom! You will die! Yes! I am going down! A beating. From me to you.

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