The Daily Show: Ears Edition - TDS Time Machine | The Supreme Court

Episode Date: June 27, 2025

Throw on your best robe and relax with The Daily Show's look back at some of the U.S. Supreme Court's most impactful moments.  Jon Stewart analyzes the bombshell ruling on Bush v. Gore with help from Steve Carell and Vance Degeneres, ponders the effects of corporate money being allowed as political speech with John Oliver, and watches Republicans react with horror to progressive decisions.  Trevor Noah remarks on the appointment of Ketanji Brown Jackson, the first black woman on the court, and looks at the fallout of the overturning of Roe v. Wade.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. Tonight, tonight we saw both candidates speak in reaction to last night's Supreme Court ruling. The ruling was a spectacular thing to behold, actually. The decision was handing down, in a manner befitting the stature and reverence that this nation holds for our Supreme Court. The U.S. Supreme Court has reversed the decision of the Florida Supreme Court. Show me where to go. By the way, I'm going to guess that guy, that guy's an intern.

Reporters from all the networks struggled to interpret the minutia. He says there's no justification for denying the state the opportunity to count all the disputed ballots now, and that's why I dissent. But not everybody was able to keep up. They don't come right out and say anywhere, but listen to Justice Souter. Come on, Dan, pull it together. What are we pursuing, too? I don't get any of this.

My old Pete keeps talking. I'll just furrow my brow. Come on, brow. Now, our correspondents... Oh, that's awfully kind of you. Our correspondents were among the media throwing down in Washington. We're going to go to the Supreme Court and Steve Carell.

Steve? Yeah, okay. Steve Carell. Okay, that's interesting. Steve Carell. Yeah, OK, that's interesting. That's good. Steve, what can you tell? OK, just a second, John. What can you tell us about? Wait a sec, John.

Thank you. Yeah, I'd like the General Gow's chicken. Not too spicy. Thanks. Yes, John. Steve, don't you have the brief? The Supreme Court brief? Yeah.

No. Well, why don't you go inside and get a copy? Okay. You know, the two candidates were said to have spent the evening pouring over the complex and detailed Supreme Court ruling. But whereas Gore was pouring over it with his eyes in mind, Bush was pouring a glass of juice over it because, quote, I don't want to finish my juice.

Now this five to four Supreme Court decision included a very harshly worded dissent by Justice John Paul Stevens who wrote, quote, though we may never know with complete certainty the identity of the winner of this year's presidential election, the identity of the loser is perfectly clear. It is the nation's confidence in the judge as an impartial guardian of the rule of law. Let's go out to Vance DeGeneres live at the campaign headquarters for the nation's confidence in the judge as impartial guardian of the rule of law. Vance, Judge Stevens pronounced the nation's confidence in the judge as an impartial

guardian of the rule of law. The loser tonight. What's the mood like down there? Well John, it's pretty quiet, somber, a lot of reflection going on. The nation's confidence in the judge as an impartial guardian of the rule of law is expected to come out any minute now and make its concession speech. Now, the folks here are disappointed, but say they're prepared to work with their opponents and bring the nation together behind the idea that judges are partisan pawns beholden only to their own prejudices, which by all accounts ran a great race and deserves to celebrate tonight.

Thank you very much, Max. We appreciate it. Now, as we come back, I have word. I'm sorry, I'm getting word now. I'm getting word now we can go back to Steve Carell. He's by now had a chance to digest that ruling. Steve, what can you tell us about this Supreme Court decision? This is a complicated decision and it reveals a very divided court. Not only was this a 5-4 ruling, it was a very close 5-4 ruling. How so, Steve? Well my sources tell me O'Connor sided with the conservatives fairly readily, but the

other swing vote, Justice Kennedy, was extremely torn. In fact, a friend of mine who clerks for Kennedy passed along this CAT scan of the Justice's brain taken during deliberations. As you can see, Gore locked up the Justice's cerebellum and orbital operculum, while the lateral sulcus and cerebral peduncle were bush country. But if you look at the southeast portion right here, you can see Justice Kennedy's all-important occipital lobe was simply too close to call. was simply too close to call. Bottom line, both sides claimed victory in Justice Kennedy's occipital lobe. Well, now, if both sides claimed victory there,

what wound up happening? Well, it got very nasty in there. George W. Bush was ultimately awarded Kennedy's occipital lobe and, in turn, the presidency, all because of a tiny cluster of 537 ganglia George W. Bush was ultimately awarded Kennedy's occipital lobe and in turn the presidency, all because of a tiny cluster of 537 ganglia occupying less than one hundred thousandth of a square inch. Certainly not much of a mandate there, huh Steve?

No, no it isn't John. Not at all. A few neurons. Horrifying, just horrifying. Okay. Hey thank you Steve. Not at all. A few neurons. Horrifying, just horrifying. Okay. Hey, thank you, Steve. You stay warm down there, okay?

I can't feel my feet. Okay. Although controlling your political message may soon get even trickier, as on Thursday this bombshell dropped. The U.S. Supreme Court today overturned laws on the books for nearly a century and ruled that corporations can spend freely now on political campaigns. Yeah, let that sink in.

Corporations will now be able to spend money to influence politics. I didn't want to think about what that might look like. The ruling once again highlights the forbidden dance between theory and practice. The theory is, as the court explains, Congress may not prohibit political speech, even if the speaker is a corporation or union. And prohibitions on corporate independent expenditures is a ban on speech. Corporations and unions, they're people, just like you and me, but without mouths.

So they can only talk through their wallet cords. It's a nice theory. Now companies are allowed to spend as much money as they want directly producing campaign ads for candidates. That means our future looks bright. What's up? It's me, the E-Trade baby, here to tell you about the stock market. Because I wasn't aborted.

You know, think how much money you would have lost if I'd been aborted and wasn't here to tell you about E-Trade. So don't vote for Dianne Feinstein. You know, she wants me dead. At E-Trade. That is a cute baby. For more on this landmark decision, return to Senior Business Analyst John Oliver. Are you okay?

I'm sorry. Have you been crying? Are you alright? What a day, John. What a day. With this historic ruling, the last bastion of discrimination in this country has come toppling down For too long John corporations have suffered under the yoke of laws Stripped of the basic freedoms and dignity guaranteed by our founders. It's been a long

long time Coming you wait change go calm now go you really have a terrible voice You're saying corporations have been denied rights brother But this did not come easy who can forget the million logo March when companies from across the country descended on Washington their brands crying out for equality. And of course, there were the brave leaders of that movement inspiring their brethren with their actions, such as the Pillsbury Doughboy in his 32-week hunger strike.

Today, that Doughboy became a dough man. For the first time in history corporations can walk with their heads held high having left their mark on American democracy. This is a huge victory John, not just for conglomerates but all of their fellow citizens. You know I'm sorry John I refuse to accept that corporations should have the same protections as people. John please open, please, open your heart. Corporations are an oppressed minority forced to move headquarters from state to state

in search of friendlier tax codes. Sometimes being forced to live just off our shores in tiny mailboxes. Even having to change their name to escape persecution it breaks my heart but it's happened time and time again but John that was Philip Morris they voluntarily change their name to Altria because they become synonymous with giving people cancer the problem corporations is their soul motivation is profit they don't have souls they're're not people, they... Oh.

Well, this just got awkward. John, what if I were to tell you that you were sitting next to a corporation right now? You're a corporation? Oh, yeah. John Oliver Worldwide Enterprises, a subsidiary of Oliver Corp. But you, John Oliver the person, have rights. Why should your corporate entity have rights? Oh John, John, if you prick my corporation, does it not bleed? No, it does not. If you deprive us of water, do we not thirst?

Just give your employees water. Oh please, not bottled. Come on, they can get a cup of water at the commissary look To set up corporate oligarchs Did you just drop the old bomb you did not just drop the old bomb with me that did not just happen here We can say that to each other. You can't say that to us We have rights now John you have more rights than people now. Corporations can merge with one another. Gay people can't do that. They can't get married. The corporations can marry, but gay people can't.

Explain that to me. That is for good reason. It's AT&T, not AT& Steve. This is ridiculous. Let, not AT&Steve. Slow down, slow down. This is, you know, this is ridiculous. Let's not even, please. All I'm saying, John, is thank God. With the Supreme Court's decision, I no longer have to put up with this. What are you doing? Yeah, well, I'm doing what I should have done a long time ago

with my unlimited funds. I've purchased part of this show. Roll it, Chuck. John Stewart says that if you make money in this country, you don't deserve a voice. Probably so you can't cry for help while John Stewart is molesting you. Oliver Corp has a better way. We've been working to harness the world's energy to keep children safe. After all, shouldn't we live in a world

where everyone can be heard? And not molested by John Stewart. We at Oliver Corp. certainly think so. Yep. Yep. That's, yep. Can we stop? Hey, what?

That's not fair. What do you mean it's not fair? I paid for this. You wanted to talk, you should have purchased your own time slot. You're calling me a molester! You can't say that! Oh, I'm sorry, I think I just did. But if you do have a rebuttal, John,

you're free to incorporate and accumulate enough wealth to continue this discussion, which I would encourage you to do. I believe Molester Co. is still available. Thank you very much. Last week was amazing. All right. We all know, country's been a bit of a rough patch lately. The ****, I believe it's referred to.

But then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Confederate flags start coming down. Supreme Court decisions supporting healthcare, fair housing, marriage equality. It was a display stunning. It was a display stunning in its alacrity and its completeness. Traditionally victimized communities granted the legal dignity that had been denied them so many years. Truly a moment of joy. Or, or, or...

To put that another way. Today, some of the darkest 24 hours in our nation's history. They're not, they're not booing, they're saying cruise. They're not booing, they're saying, cruise. What, why? What is wrong? The dark is 24. What is wrong? The insurance exchanges remain open, sir, and committed same-sex couples can form lifelong societies stabilizing legally recognized bonds. Truly, Voldemort has risen.

And the living will envy the dead as they... What? How? What is your worldview? And of course, we need not take seriously the hyperbolic, apocalyptic rantings of a... sitting United States senator. Sitting United States senator Luckily for senator Cruz there were other survivors of Good news, Maguette in

It is a huge loss for a democracy They essentially turn the US Constitution on its head and I believe put a nail in the democratic process There will be an effort to force people to conform. This is redefining a fundamental institution. Suppose three people say we want to be a marriage. We're three people and we love each other and we want to be married. What's to prevent that under this? Because people aren't born polygamists. You know, I knew even when I was five I was different. While the other boys played with trucks and army men, I was figuring out bed sharing schedules

with my wife. Not that there aren't real victims here. What happens to a florist who doesn't want to provide flowers to a gay wedding? Are they going to be forced either out of business, like the florists, the caterers? There have been evangelical florists and bakers around the country who are coerced. Where does it stop? Enough! I am so tired of this old trope, this old stereotype about anti-gay florists.

It's all we ever hear about. Anti-gay florists. Let me tell you something. Are some florists anti-gay? Of course, there's truth in every stereotype. Just like some Scotsmen are stingy and some Frenchmen wear striped shirts and carry around long breads. But not, not all florists hate gay people. And it's time we accept that. The really weird part of the conservative reaction

is when it stops being about the court making this decision and starts criticizing the idea of the court making any decision. Rick Santorum said, today five unelected judges redefined the foundational unit of society. What a crazy system to have the most important issues of our day decided by unelected lawyers.

Five unelected black-robed lawyers rule. That is not the America that our founding fathers created. Then why did they put that article in the Constitution? So why would that be them? This is the stupidest. So the founding fathers come up with this unbelievable idea for a country, right? Then some jackass... throws in something about

co-equal branch of government possesses judicial review over the constitutionality of legislation, and the founding fathers come in the next day, and they're like, who the f*** put this in here? What is this? I told you, we had Article 1, 2, and 4. I don't know what 3 is. I don't know what that is.

I didn't write that. What is wrong? Even some on the Supreme Court seem shocked that there is a Supreme Court. John Roberts quote, the majority's decision is an act of will, not legal judgment. The right it announces has no basis in the constitution or this court's precedent,

adding just who do we think we are? Perhaps it's time we go back to when a Supreme Court was just a court with extra sour cream. Did you know that that was the original Court? The original Supreme Court. The original Supreme Court was a court with extra shower cream. Jesus. I'm a good history teacher.

And of course, Justice Alito had to get in his arguments against the progress of humankind. Here is what Justice Alito said in his dissent. I assume that those who cling to old beliefs will be able to whisper their thoughts in the recesses of their homes, but if they repeat those views in public, they will risk being labeled as bigots and treated as such by governments, employers and schools. Right. Oh, you mean that like it's a bad thing. Enough for nothing. I'd still like to be able to call ladies sugar tits without people going, you know,

hey, slow down there, Uncle Creepy, that's your cardiologist. I mean, you know, why can't we just continue disliking and shunning the people we've always disliked and shunned? Everybody was always okay with it, but them? Look, justices, senators, your problem isn't judicial activism or overreach or politically correct policing. Your problem here is bald faced, out in the open, common sense experience.

That's why you're not going to win the marriage equality fight. This. Let's talk about same sex marriage. I'm traditional marriage. But what do you say to a lesbian who's married or a gay man who's married who says, Donald Trump, what's traditional about being married three times? Well they have a very good point. Yes they do. That's the point.

You're not going to win the marriage equality fight because even a man pathologically disposed to not understand other people's points of view, unless it is also labeled Trump, even he gets it. Not that he doesn't try and set aside what went wrong with tradition in his particular case. But, you know, I've been a very hardworking person my 2 wives were very good.

And I don't blame them I blame myself because my business was so powerful for me. This is what I'm telling you I am for traditional marriage but to be fair to Trump business is hotter than any wife could possibly be. a Trump business is hotter than any wife could possibly be. Wouldn't you sh- one of my golf courses? I think you would.

All 18 holes. We'd come back for more. Let's talk about the Supreme Court. The only place where wearing a robe makes you more powerful. The Supreme Court is one of the oldest institutions in American society. And after 230 years, it's finally getting a fresh new face. Judge Katanji Brown Jackson,

cementing her place in history, becoming the first black woman to be confirmed to the Supreme Court. On this vote, the yeas are 53, the nays air 47 and this nomination is confirmed. Cheers erupting in the chamber over at the White House President Biden, watching that final tally come in with the judge by his side. And his nomination is confirmed. All right. Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Okay. Oh wow. He didn't know, he's all wow. Oh. This is exciting people.

Finally, a black woman will be on the Supreme Court. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. And this is happening just in time for the court to eliminate all rights

for black people and women. What a moment. No, this is really incredible, man. Think about it. She will now be the most powerful black woman in the country to have her opinions entirely dismissed by two-thirds of her co-workers. Wow! This is huge. And, by the way, for anyone who wondered how much of an impact Katanji Brown Jackson would have,

well, she made history from the moment she was confirmed. As Democrats rose to their feet with applause, Republicans headed for the door. Mitt Romney of Utah, one of three Republicans to vote yes, standing alone, the only GOP senator clapping. Really? Really? You know what? First of all, kudos to Mitt Romney.

Yeah, man. He's like... just decorum, you know? All those other assholes. Think about it. The first black woman since this country was founded gets confirmed to the Supreme Court and you can't find it in you to stay and clap? Just clap, even like a...

Yeah, I'm not saying you gotta throw your panties on the stage or anything. Just show some respect. Just some respect. Those Republicans ran out of the room like someone was handing out free N-word passes in the lobby. Oh boy, oh boy, I've always wanted to say that word.

Oh boy, in public. Why would you leave? No one ever leaves. It doesn't matter whether they like the person or not. Why would you leave? The first black woman and that's when you're gonna leave? I mean, luckily, luckily, the Republican hissy fit couldn't spoil this historic moment, you know,

because it's not every day that a black person in America gets sent to a court they actually deserve to be in. And on Friday, KBJ, she took her victory lap at the White House. Tonight, celebrating history on the high court, Judge Katanji Brown Jackson and a moment centuries in the making. It has taken 232 years history on the high court judge Katanji Brown Jackson at a moment centuries in the making.

It has taken 232 years and 115 prior appointments for black woman to be selected to serve on the Supreme Court of the United States. But we've made it. Jackson, a history maker and a barrier breaker, reciting the poetic words of Maya Angelou. I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

And casting this is a moment in which all Americans can take great pride. We have come a long way toward perfecting our union. In my family, it took just one generation to go from segregation to the Supreme Court of the United States. Whoo! What?

Yes! From segregation to the Supreme Court. Whoo! That was a line. I almost feel like if you're a black person who succeeds, you've got double the pressure on you, you know? Yeah, because you don't just have to perform, you've also got to come up with dope lines

when you get the job. From segregation to the Supreme Court, what? Whoo! That was powerful. And that quote from Maya Angelou, all of it was fire. I mean, especially when you consider Brett Kavanaugh's celebration, where he just quoted the words of Captain Morgan.

And by the way, by the way, props to President Biden for rocking those aviators during that speech. Yeah, way to make a historic moment look like a deleted scene from Top Gun, Mr. President. You know Biden only breaks those out when he's feeling his swagger. He's just like, oh, yeah. Or when his eyes are bleeding again.

You never know which one it is. You never know. Let's get right into it. For the past few decades, conservatives in America have been chipping away at women's reproductive rights. And a few days ago, they put the final nail in the coffin. Tonight, the landmark ruling, the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade, taking away

the constitutional right to abortion, the historic 5-4 decision overturning nearly 50 years of abortion rights, leaving the matter up to states now to decide. The ruling does not make abortion illegal, but it's no longer a constitutional right, so that leaves the issue up to each state. It's likely to become illegal soon in about half the nation.

Some states have already banned it as of tonight. The rest of the banned states are likely to follow in the coming weeks. That's right. The Supreme Court has officially overturned Roe v. Wade. And, look, I know we expected it, because the decision was leaked back in May, but that doesn't make it any better, you know? It's kind of like when as a kid,

you were acting up in the grocery store and your mom would tell you, oh, I'm gonna whip your ass when we get home. Yeah, you weren't like, oh, sweet, I'm glad she told me first, that'll soften the blow. Because in some ways, it almost made it worse, right? We got to dread the day and now that day is here. And honestly, it's kinda surreal.

For 50 years, 50 years, women in America have had a constitutional right to an abortion, and now, just like that, the Supreme Court has decided that it's finished. And by the way, the Constitution didn't change, right? Nicolas Cage didn't find a lost passage inside of a pyramid somewhere. The only thing that changed is that Donald Trump,

of all people, managed to appoint three pro-life justices to the Supreme Court. Judges who, by the way, went on and on in their confirmation hearings about how much they respect the important precedent of Roe versus Wade. And we all knew they were full of shit too, huh? Because I mean, that's the same line you use

whenever you book an Airbnb. I would never throw a party. Party, party, am I even saying that right, party? By the way, there's a hot tub in this house, yeah? It seems like the only people on the planet who didn't realize what was happening were Joe Manchin and Susan Collins, who now say that they were tricked.

Tricked, I tell you, by these judges. And by the way, why does Susan Collins never get tricked into improving healthcare or solving climate change, huh? She's never like, oh damn it, I accidentally canceled student loan debt. Get it together, Susan. And if the overturning wasn't bad enough,

Justice QAnon himself, Clarence Thomas, wrote that he wants the court to reconsider the rights to gay marriage, gay sex, and contraception. Yeah, imagine that. This dude is so extreme, he's talking about banning rights I didn't even realize could be banned. He's gonna be reading the newspaper like, Justice Thomas wants to ban the right

to engage in nipple play, what? Like at some point you're not even a judge anymore, you're just a cock block in a fancy robe, that's all you are. That's how you're hating on everybody else. And by the way, by the way, the one ruling Clarence Thomas doesn't want to overturn and all the others that he mentioned

is the right to interracial marriage. Yeah, which is a coincidence because he happens to the right to interracial marriage. Yeah, which is a coincidence because he happens to be in an interracial marriage. Yeah, I guess apparently if something affects Clarence Thomas personally, he's okay with it. Makes me think if we could just somehow get him impregnated by like a gay man, all of our problems would be solved.

And by the way, that's just a joke. I know there's some right-wing pundit who's gonna be like, is Trevor Noah threatening to sodomize and impregnate a Supreme Court justice? Is that what he's doing? There are people standing outside his some right-wing pundit who's gonna be like, is Trevor Noah threatening to sodomize and impregnate a Supreme Court justice? Is that what he's doing? There are people standing outside his house right now with a penis, is that what he's doing?

No, it's a joke, calm down. Now, despite the Supreme Court ruling to overturn Roe v. Wade, that doesn't mean people in America want abortion outlawed. And the reaction to Friday's ruling showed just how out of step the Supreme Court actually is. From Los Angeles to Cleveland. Our life is a life, and America we die. And Huntsville, Alabama.

Huntsville. Americans took to the streets nationwide over the weekend. The protests largely peaceful. Gatherings once again outside the Justice's DC area homes Friday, and stretching from coast to coast today. Thousands of pro-abortion rights activists jammed New York City traffic for hours,

others blocking a Los Angeles freeway. This decision is an outrage. This decision is absolutely terrifying, but more than anything, it just makes me angry. Yeah, that's right, from New York to New Mexico, millions around the country are furious, and rightfully so. Because women in America just lost control over their own bodies.

Which, I don't care who you are, is a horrifying thing to be faced with. I mean, Rudy Giuliani called the cops because someone touched his back without permission. Imagine if someone forced him to give birth, huh? I mean, someone would have to have sex with him first, but you get the point. You understand what I'm saying.

And after half a century of having that right, it's now being taken away, which is especially crazy when you consider that countries like Mexico and Ireland are moving forward in the opposite direction. You do realize how weird that is, right? Ireland has had violent conflicts between Christians and other Christians, and even they are looking at America like,

don't you think you're taking it a wee bit too far with the Jesus stuff? It's a little bit too crazy, don't you think? So the Supreme Court is shutting everything down. People are rising up in the streets and the Democrats, well, they responded in a way that only the Democrats can. Democrats are already looking to November. They have fundraising emails going out

in response to this decision. They have a new website up. Speaker Nancy Pelosi looked downcast when she began her press conference. I am personally overwhelmed by this decision. From time to time, I quote this poem. I have no other country, even though my land is burning. Michigan Congressman Andy Levin tweeted a photo of himself

in a yoga pose, saying, quote, in a moment of intense anger, I turn inward. Let us release toxicity. I feel like that's the perfect yoga pose for democratic leadership. Very little action and your head is basically up your own ass. Because I don't know if anybody voted for the performative aspect.

People just want things done. No one cares about kente cloths or singing on the Capitol steps, and especially not poetry. I feel like any moment now, Chuck Schumer's gonna throw in a fake pregnant belly and just take a knee in the Capitol, be like, we are all pregnant now

and we're standing together. Why do Democrats do this? Why do Democrats do this? Why do they do this? Not once have I seen Mitch McConnell come out and sing a song about how overwhelmed he is. He just gets things done. He never comes out like, oh, nobody knows the trouble I've seen.

No. Every time he used his power to make a new rule, in fact, that presidents can't appoint judges if it's an election year and they're black. Well, I didn't make him black, that was his dad. In fact, watching the Democrats' response and knowing, knowing that they had multiple opportunities to get ahead of this, it made me think,

maybe voters should change things up. Maybe you should do a new thing in America. Instead of fundraising emails, maybe you should do fund-rewarding emails, right? Yeah, make the Democrats show you what they've done and then you donate to their cause. Instead of them being like, donate, we'll do fun, rewarding emails, right? Yeah, make the Democrats show you what they've done and then you donate to their cause. Instead of them being like, donate, we'll do something, and then they don't.

What are they doing? What are they doing? It's the same reason, it's the same reason I don't pay my barber before he does the job. Yeah, he'll get his money after I see what he does with my hairline. I'm not making that mistake again.

And now please, don't get me wrong. I'm not making that mistake again. And now please don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying the Democrats are doing nothing in response to this ruling. The Biden administration has said that it would fight any attempt to restrict access to abortion pills, regardless of state laws.

And they'll protect people who travel out of state to get a legal abortion. Plus the Senate Judiciary Committee says that they're gonna hold a hearing next month to explore its options. Yeah. Yeah, so they're coming through with both too little and too late.

Very nice, very nice. The full range. Oh, and in case... and in case you're wondering what Republican lawmakers think of telling women what they should do with their own bodies, well, they're celebrating the win of small government over the people. Cheers from anti-abortion rights advocates,

some celebrating the decision they've been working toward for decades. We are the post- in the Supreme Court yesterday. A Utah state legislator is under fire for her remarks defending Utah's new abortion ban. And my response is, I do trust women enough to control when they allow a man to ejaculate. So inside of them and to control that intake of semen. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Did she say women should control their intake of semen? How, by turning the little tap that's on the top of the penis? Is that turning that? Ah, that's enough, I don't wanna get too pregnant. Ah, ah. That other woman with Trump, that was even worse. She literally thanked Trump for saving white life.

And to be fair, to be fair, she later said that she misspoke and meant to say right to life. But okay, here's the thing. Even if she misspoke, she still just kept on talking without fixing it. It's like she heard herself call it a victory for white life and thought, yeah, that sounds like something I would say. Yeah, let's stick with that.

What's even worse is that the Trump supporters applauded her. Even if we give her the benefit of the doubt, the reaction from the crowd is pretty telling. I mean, it's one thing for a person to accidentally rip a fart in an elevator, but it's way worse if everyone else in the elevator goes, oh yeah, yeah, that's the good stuff.

Yeah, we like that. We like that a lot. So yeah. Pro-lifers are feeling pretty good right now. But if you think that Roe being dead is the end of the story and you think the right wingers are just gonna take their Bibles and go home, think again, because they're saying that this is just the beginning.

Some emboldened House Republicans want to take this one step further by pushing legislation to ban abortion at 15 weeks nationwide. We know that former Vice President Mike Pence, who wants to run for president, supports a nationwide ban on abortion. Another big question is over the abortion pill, as it's called. Some states may want to target that medication. In the states that ban abortion, it is illegal to get those pills from a doctor. And some states are trying to go further and also ban receiving the pills by mail from a state where they're legal. Yeah, you see, conservative extremists aren't going to stop fighting

just because they got Roe overturned. They just won a huge victory. Why would they quit now? When a team scores a touchdown, they don't just walk off the field congratulating each other, you know? I mean, the New York Jets do, but the rest of the teams, they keep trying to run up the score.

And that's what these people have their sights set on. Because first it was no late term abortions. Oh, okay, well, it seems reasonable. Then it was no abortion after 23 weeks. Then 15 weeks, then six, now zero. What's next? Well, they're just gonna make tiny little handcuffs to arrest every sperm that didn't fertilize an egg,

is that what it'll be? Maybe next time you'll think twice before ending up in a sock instead of a vagina, huh? And I know, I know many people around the country feel infuriated, depressed, and like there's no hope. But there is, there really is. First of all, there are many organizations, grassroots organizations on the ground

who have already been helping women who couldn't get an abortion because they lived in some of these most extreme states. So you can donate to them or you can volunteer. And as for the Democrats in power, there is something you can actually do. Yeah, here, I actually wrote you a poem. (*audience laughs*)

Roses are red, violets are blue. The people voted, so how about doing your f***ing job in passing laws to codify contraception, marriage equality, and all the other rights the Supreme Court has basically threatened to take away and so are you. Stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. This is an iHeart podcast.