The Daily Show: Ears Edition - TDS Tries to Beat the Heat

Episode Date: July 27, 2023

We’re experiencing record-breaking temperatures this summer! Trevor Noah and Daily Show correspondents, Jaboukie-Young White and Dulcé Sloan cover heat waves happening in the United States and Europe, and break down the global effects of climate change.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show. It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself, TGID. Thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday?

I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. Yesterday was the first day of summer. Kids celebrated by running through sprinklers, families broke out their barbecues. And once again, DJ Jazzy Jeff sat alone on the back of a truck, waiting for will to show up. Summer, summer, summer, summer time. Of course, for many Americans, the first day of summer signified something much different. It's hot as balls.

The first day of summer has arrived and it will be a scorcher for tens of millions of Americans in the southwest. Temperatures reaching 120 degrees. 40 million people are under a heat warning. It can get so hot. You can actually fry an egg right on the sidewalk. Yeah, that's how hot. Wait, why are we using eggs to tell temperature? I don't understand this. Like people in Africa are watching this going, we would never do that in Africa, huh? We don't do such things and we don't like wasting food and also we don't have sidewalks. Yeah, that's part of it. Because we call the heat th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to their their their their their their to their to to their te tel tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell toe to to to to to them pavements, you racist, that's why. But the heat, the heat is sort of having some serious effects. It's causing wildfires, you know, there are heat warnings. And LeBron James is now crying just to keep his face cool.

But most of all, most of all, the heat is making the news lose its mind. But even at this hour before sunrise, it's already over 90 degrees. Later today, this playground will be way too hot to toucest. Hey, news guy, I know it's hot. But try not to sound like you're sending secret messages to creeps online. The playground will be too hot to touch. I repeat, the playground will be too hot to touch. But, sorry, you were saying? We've got our heat gun. I'm going to check some temperatures. Right here. The pavement's 171 degrees. This slide is 185 degrees. 171 on this swing.

146 degrees. A hundred and seventy-five degrees. Sold! You know, that's a job that literally only a white reporter could do. There is no black journalist who would ever agreed to waving any type of gun around in a public space. The station manager's like, we need to use this temperature gun to report the heat wave. And he's like, just say you want me to get shot on camera.

Just say it, man. I know the ratings are down. Just say it. But of course, nothing beats the hot weather like a nice swim. This may be the best thing to cover out of this heat wave, but a bear cooling off in a swimming pool in Bradbury. I came over with my daughter to visit my father for Father's Day. When I walked in, I saw some footprints when I looked out. And then all of a sudden the bear came from around the corner and jumped into the pool. And then he continued to play around for about for to to play to play the the to play the the the the to play the the the the the to play around, the the the the the the the the the the to play, the the the the the to play, the to play, the to play, to play, the pool, the their, tooombue, tooombue, to tooombue, tooombue, tooombue, tooombue, tooombue, tooombue, tooombue, tooombue, tooombunnene. Oh, it's really cute now.

But you know, it's gonna be an entire summer of that bear stopping by now. Just like bothering you the whole summer. Like, hey, anyone home? Hey, can I use the pool? Hey, do you mind if I eat your cat? You might have ate your, yeah, I'm gonna eat your cat. Things are so bad that America's youth are taking refuge in the strangest of places. It can be very difficult to find a place to cool off, especially when it is this hot outside.

We did find a public library open during some of the hottest hours from 12 to 4. Hey, wait a minute, kid. You aren't allowed to give a hang 10 sign if you're not on a surfboard, okay? There's rules. That's like an Uber driver saying like, all aboard, mate is, I be the captain of this year, Toyota Yarrais. And this report only got more, shall we say, investigative? Chelsea Mallinson and Erica Gustafson have lived together for three years. With temperatures skyrocketing, they had no choice but to get out of the house. The summers lately have just been horrible and 100 degree weather and like she said with all the windows in front, it's like an oven and just bakes us in. Really news? These are your weather experts? Yes? Yeah? Who is the creepy producer who put this together? No, ladies? Let's try this one on the trampoline. That's good. Yeah, that's for the news? Yeah. Who the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try this one on the trampoline. That's good. Yeah, that's good. No, it's for the news. Yeah, it's for the news. Seriously, people, this is ridiculous. You're the news. Isn't there anything practical that you can tell us about this heat wave?

If you don't have air conditioning, go to a friend or neighbor's house with air conditioning. And of course, always always always remember, always always always always always always remember, always always always always always always always always always always remember, always always always always always always always always remember, to to th. th. th. th. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. this is ridiculous, this is ridiculous, this is th. th. this is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. and wait a minute did the heat wave bake that kid into a full-grown man? Damn! That is eggs hard! Get him out of there! We'll be right back! Get him out of there! Europe, the continent with a long history of white-on-white violence. Unfortunately Europe is not having a good time right now. There's still a war in Ukraine, which is also causing an energy crisis. Italy's Prime Minister has called it quits. Britain has lost its leadership, which means now they'll have to find another magic spell to turn a dandelion into a prime minister. Plus, for the first time ever, the euro has become less valuable than the dollar.

Yeah? And with the economy struggling, European workers are now limited to only 45-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s, thi-s, thi-s, thiiiii-s, thi-s. thioli-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-s. thii-s. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-n, thithe dollar. Yeah. And with the economy struggling, European workers are now limited to only 45 weeks of vacation a year. And as if all of that wasn't enough. Now Europe is dealing with a hot girl summer that nobody asked for. The triple-digit temperatures that have sparked forest fires and drought conditions here in the states are also taking hold in Europe. This morning people are being warned to take cover as deadly heat sweeps across Britain. The National Weather Service issuing the first ever extreme heat warning with forecast highs of 105 today and tomorrow,

hotter than the Sahara Desert and Delhi. The scorching heat is bearing down on all of Western Europe, fueling out of control wildfires. In southwest France, planes dumped yet more water over wildfires that have burned an area bigger than 20,000 football fields. The heat is causing havoc, London's Luton Airport and an RAF base in Oxfordshire, both being forced to close because the runways were melting. Mamma Mia!

Sacre bleur! Bloody Bulls sweat! The runways in melting. Mamma me! Sacre bleur! Bloody bullswets! The runways in Europe are melt. Did you hear that? The runways are melting. You never want to land a plane and hear it go, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. And what are you even doing that situation?

What do you do? Like if the runway's melted, where's the plane gonna land? In the baby's mouth? That's right open, huh, baby? Please, baby, the plane needs your baby. Ah! You know, this is one of those situations where you really appreciate how calm a pilot is, you know? Because like, even when a runway's melting, the pilot's just going to be there like,

ladies and gentlemen, this seems seemsthe airplane is melting as the ground, so, uh, I'm going to suggest everyone get back to their seats. Uh, hold on. Now it seems like a portal to the underworld is opened and we are slowly being sucked by the devil himself. So, uh, I'm gonna go ahead and turn on the fast. But yes, Europe is scorching hot right now and it's so bad that there were photos going around today of people pouring water in the mouths of the gods at Buckingham Palace. Yeah, I mean if I had to make a suggestion though maybe the first thing I would do in a heat wave is lose the 10-foot head, covered entirely in fur or at least fill it with ice. It looks like it would be a good cooler, you know? And remember, remember, you might be hearing those temperatures in America

going like, oh, 100 degrees, that doesn't sound bad. But remember, this heat weight is especially bad for Europe because Europeans are not prepared for this kind of heat. Yeah, they don't use air conditioners in most parts of Europe. They don't even put ice in their drinks and they can get sunburned from like a camera flash. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, so how do I look? So once again, all over the world, we're experiencing record temperatures, wildfires, and droughts. And I mean, I know it can't be climate change because Fox says that's not real, so... It's probably pronouns. Is it pronouns?

Let's talk about Arizona. It's the Iran of the United States. It's also one of the five or six string states. It's also one of the five or six swing states that decide America's general elections. So what makes them tick? What sets Arizona apart? Well, one thing, for instance, is they're dealing with climate change, a crisis that is changing how people out there live their lives.

Djibouki Young White has more in our series, the United Swing States of America. Wildfires, flash floods, and a dramatically shortened cuffing season. Climate change is affecting America and nowhere more than Phoenix, Arizona. In Phoenix, they say it's too hot to fly. 44 people had to be rescued. Arizona officials are urging locals to avoid hiking during extreme heat. So I headed to Arizona to find out for myself just how bad the heat can get. To explain the science behind my sweaty balls, I met with climate expert Brian Stone. Climate change is very much happening today and has been with us for many decades already.

If you are under the age of 34 today. If... Every month of your life has been in a climate that is much warmer than we've seen for thousands of years. Is that how old you are? And third degree burns like that are becoming the new normal here in Phoenix. You're seen a hundred days a year with temperatures over a hundred degrees. And there have been many warnings for us that we haven't listened to leading up until this point, right? Yeah. Nelly has been warning us about Phoenix's 2003 I really don't know anything about that hot in her There's sort of like this pleading cry to the public like it's getting hot in here. Please

Yeah, take off all your clothes. Yeah. We didn't listen. Um, maybe Brian walked me through some of Phoenix's new climate adaptations, like smooth, reflective surfaces and, of course, landscaping. But the biggest change? Arizona is shifting daytime activities tonight. That's right, it's gotten so hot that jogging, hiking, and even construction work are now happening after hours. What? So I want to do one of my favorite things. Hang out with a bunch of guys, laying pipe. Do you do construction at night because it's more fun? We do construction at night because the same thing. Arizona temperatures are just too hard on the guys. If you're not prepared, well hydrated, you're going to end up in the hospital getting IVs. Ugh, gross.

But when the sun goes down, things at the concrete pour do get a little freaky. See the guy, he's got a vibrator on his back, and that concrete's liquid, and it vibrates the concrete and it goes and surrounds all the rebar. He has a vibrator on his back? That machine right there. Does he like clean it off before he comes to work? Put the oil on it. Right. Just want to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make the to make the to make the the to make the the to make the the the the the concrete, the concrete the the the concrete the concrete the concrete the concrete the concrete the concrete the concrete the concrete the concrete the concrete the concrete the concrete the concrete the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to make, I I I I to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make sure, to make sure, to make sure, to make sure, to make sure, to make sure, to theaqaqaqaqaqaqaqaqaqa.aqa. the concrete, the the make sure that we're being sanitary. Absolutely. But it's not all pleasuring concrete bridges to completion. Working at night can affect cognitive performance and lead to tragic accidents. I can't find my, I think my phone is in there. Climate change hasn't just affected these sex-positive, village people-style jobs.

It's also changing the way that people have fun. So I met up with the Arizona Trailblazers hiking club for a night hike. Here's a black light for you. You can use this to try to look and see if there's any critters, scorpions, snakes, scorpions, scorpians, the scorpians, the scorpians in these black lights. What? Yeah, there's lots of all terrifying. I repeat that, sorry. What was that? Scorpions, we can look for them using these black lights. Okay, first of all, terrifying.

Second, scorpions glow under black lights? I have some questions. Why do they glow? Is it because they're covered in... I don't believe that's the reason. And these scorpians were ready to pop off. Ah, the ta. to pop off. He's pointing his tail at you. I think you've really angered him. Oh my god I thought he was waving. Because he's such a little guy he probably

doesn't have venom yet right? Oh no that's the worst kind. The smaller scorpions are more venomous than the larger species. Gary stop. Gary stop. Gary stop. Stop. There's another it's real small. Oh my god he picked it up. He picked the up, stop! Stop! Gary, stop playing! I hope he comes back. Lost in the Arizona desert. It felt like things couldn't get any worse. Only got one reply on my Scorpion video! About nine, come get me now! But when the sun finally rose, I saw how beautiful Arizona looked without an iPhone flashlight

on it. Must have been cool to hang out here without dying of heatstroke. Climate change might be in Arizona today, but it's coming for the rest of America. Luckily, I knew just the plan to get the government to take serious action. I've released 100 scorpions into these chambers, and the doors are locked until you pass comprehensive climate reform. No, I don't know why they're covered in b-pickerm! Chibuque, Young White, everybody. We'll be right back. So everyone knows that climate change could wreck the planet and destroy all life on earth.

But even worse, it could cost you some money. Dose Sloan looks into it in another episode of Count on It. Good news everyone. The election felt like it was the end of the world, but it wasn't. Bad news, the actual end of the world is coming up. The life-threatening and devastating flooding emergency. A crippling drought. Some people driving through flames to escape. Climate change is getting worse. And even though the election was a small victory for the planet, Biden is still going to need to deal with Republicans

who don't think fixing it is worth the price tag. The Paris Accord I took us out because we were going to have to spend trillions of dollars. The American economy it will die if we get rid of oil and gas. Where are they going to get all the money from? Um, one of the people supporting this says we can just print money, Congressman. I'm not taking economic advice from someone who looks like he spends most of his money on eight balls. But I'll admit. After the way 2020 is gone, I myself have wondered if the world is even worth

saving. So I want to know what costs more. Doing something like the Paris Agreement or a Green New Deal or this kind of plan, which is wait for it, nothing. Nada. Luckily we found an expert in doing nothing, Professor Marshall Burke. In a sense we study the cost of doing nothing although doing nothing here really means doing a lot. I do nothing all the time and it doesn't cost me a penny. So we have studied this. The Paris Climate Agreement said we want to limit warming to 1.5 degrees Celsius.

But let's say we do nothing at all. The best estimate suggests we're going to get about 3 degrees Celsius, 5 or 6 degrees Fahrenheit of warming over the next century. Hotter temperatures reduce agricultural productivity. Hotter temperatures make us less productive at work, and this could cost us tens of trillions of dollars in terms of lost economic output. If I hear trillions of dollars,

I'm thinking of monopoly money and unicorn tears. So what will doing nothing cost the average person? You're right, trillion is hard to understand. So 100 billion is a Jeff Bezos. So a trillion is like 10 Jeff Bezos. Should we just kidnapped Jeff Bezos and make him pay for it? I don't know if our research speaks to a kidnapping approach. What Marshall's research does speak to is that if we don't meet the 1.5 degree goal

set by the Paris Accord, it could cost $6 trillion in the U.S. alone. And Miami will be underwater and not in a fun way. If we go past that, the world's GDP drops by 20 percent. And the pirates of the Caribbean ride will have direct access to the world's GDP drops by 20% and the pirates of the Caribbean ride will have direct access to the Caribbean. On the other hand, what if we actually did something and pass some of the ambitious proposals laid out in the Green New Deal? People talk about like the Green New Deal like AOC is going to personally come in your house and steal your Christmas presents and then

replace it with a lump of coal and then come back and replace the lump of coal with a solar panel. A lot of the hand-ringing about the Green New Deal has focused on its potential cost. Imagine you have a loved one who's been diagnosed with a serious illness. So do we say, oh it's going to cost $10,000 to fix grandpa? Like let's not bother, $10,000. Wow. No, we think about the benefits of that too. We like having grandpa around. So we need to think of the earth as a grandpa we like. That's what you're saying. Yeah, the metaphor works when you like your grandpa.

And we find that the cost of inaction are actually a lot larger than doing something about the problem. I knew it. I knew it. But what do you do if you're lazy, deadbeat, ain't shit government refuses to see the logic in these numbers? You take their asses to court, even on the local level. And I talked to one hardened veteran veteran of the U.S. judicial system who is doing just that.

I'm actually suing the state of Florida. All we want for them is to cut our carbon emissions. How old are you? I am 21 years old. Is it the Doogie-Houser situation? I know you don't get that reference because you're 21. No, not quite. Okay, how much you sue them for? Absolutely nothing.

You're suing them for nothing? What, do you play Lato for the thrilling,the game? Do you go to Vegas just for the weather? So it's kind of like we're suing on behalf of the environment. Could I recommend one thing? Sue to get enough money money on the environment. So we know that it's going to cost us as a society trillions of dollars. But if we continue to wait, it's only going to be more expensive in the future to pay for those solutions that we need. For example, the property value of the land that's at risk from five feet of sea level rise

is about $27 billion. And for those following along, that's a quarter Jeff Bezos. Don't get your hopes up, you know, because there's a chance that Florida isn't gonna change. Florida's still gonna be on your couch, eating on your food while you're at work, asking to borrow your car. Why do you need a car, Florida? You don't have a job. Yeah, so to be candid. If to to to to to to to to to to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a toeck. thi, toeck. to be a tooeck. tooeck. toeck. toe, toe, toe, thea, thei, thei, thei, thei, thei, thei. thei. thea, the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the th. the th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toe. toea. toeau. toof. toeau. toe. toe. tooe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. you don't have a job! Yeah, so to be candid, if there's no change,

if we don't do anything to solve our climate change crisis, Florida faces extinction. On the one hand, if Florida is extinct, then we wouldn't have to do it with Florida anymore. But then again, Florida's part of Earth. And even though it's been hard on us this year, we should still do something to save instead of nothing, because I still love Earth. Some people I like live here, even some people that I love.

And I wouldn't trade them for all the Bezos in the world. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show week nights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.