The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Terese Marie Mailhot - Sharing an Indigenous Voice in "Heart Berries"

Episode Date: November 28, 2021

Terese Marie Mailhot discusses growing up on a reservation and searching for an authentic indigenous voice in her memoir "Heart Berries." Originally aired March 2018. Learn more about your ad-choices... at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:01:09 Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address.ziprecruder.com.Ziprecrue.ziprecrued.com.Ziprecruiter. The smartest way to hire. My guest to-night shares her experiences growing up on a small Indian reservation in British Columbia in her critically acclaimed debut book, HeartBerry's A Memoir. Please welcome Teres Marie Mayotte. Thank you so much for being here and thank you so much for being here and thank you so much for this book. This is an experience that I think few people would envy, but most people would connect to. It is a memoir of your life that is written, and it's honestly one of
Starting point is 00:02:10 the most authentic points of view I've ever come across. When you were writing the book, one thing I wanted to discover from the beginning was, was it hard for you to figure out how to be the voice of American Indian people, but at the same time realize that you're not the voice the voice the voice the voice the voice the voice the voice the voice the voice the voice the voice the voice the voice the voice the voice the voice the voice the voice the the of the of of of of of the of of of of of of of of of of of ofi of of your of your of of of your of of your to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii to to tooi to to to tooi to to to to to to to to their their their their their thi. the thi. the thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the voice of American Indian people, but at the same time realize that you're not the voice for American Indian people. It's an interesting balance to have. Yeah, I think when you come from a collective culture, like a community that relies on each other, and when you speak out against indigenous women,
Starting point is 00:02:43 and when you speak out against the way we're treated and the way disparity is working against our bodies and who we are, like, I feel like sometimes when I'm talking, I feel representative and then I remember, oh, this is a singular story, like this is what happened to me and I feel like if I can speak out, I'm going to encourage other women to do so as well and hold up their voices when they do. So, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you th, you th, you th, you th th th th th th thi thi thi, you thi, you thi, you're thi, and I thi, you're thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, th.... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, and I th. th. th. thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, thi, the, the, the, the, to to to to to to to to to thei. to thei. thei. thea, theea, the, the to encourage other women to do so as well and hold up their voices when they do. So, you know, and that's how I relieve the pressure of feeling like, okay, I'm not speaking
Starting point is 00:03:11 for all indigenous women, but I am helping, you know? When you look at your story and you, the time that you've gone through, you speak about it in a painful way, in an authentic way, but in an uplifting way at the same time. I mean, there's times where you talk about growing up on the res. As a native person, do you find that you connect with your world in a different way to how people perceive your world? Yeah, I mean, I grew up. My mother was a healer and my mother was so powerful and also, you know, exploited, her work was exploited and she was living in a community
Starting point is 00:03:53 where we were surviving on welfare and sometimes she was employed and working 70 hours a week, and she had to neglect us to stay afloat, you know, so like, but really, there was so many moments where we would collect medicine together and we would pray by the river almost daily and she helped me see the world as familiar, familial and she helped me see the world as something as something sacred, quote unquote sacred, you know, yeah. When you look at that relationship between yourself and your mother, do you think that her introducing you to that world and having you live an authentic native or
Starting point is 00:04:33 indigenous experience helped you or hindered you in assimilating to the world that was around you? And then do you think that's a good or a bad thing? It's difficult because she was resistant to let me fall into trying to please people within academic institutions at school. She was like, this is a choice. And it was not created to hold up indigenous people. It was created to assimilate them into a white culture. So she always tried to make me critical of the world. And I thank her for that. But it also hindered me a lot to to to to to to to to to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please to please the the the the the the the the the the the to make me critical of the world and I thank her for
Starting point is 00:05:06 that but it also hindered me a lot because I just wanted to be normal too, you know? And I think, you know, ultimately it helped because my voice is the voice I grew up around. The voice, the book is getting attention for is the one she gave me. Right, and it is a voice that is apparent throughout the book. As you're telling your stories, one thing becomes apparent, and that is there's so many different themes. There's your life on the reservation, there's your life within the family, which is a different experience as well. You share a heart-wrenching tale of discovering that your
Starting point is 00:05:46 father was abusing you, which is something that's that's hard to comprehend. What did you go through when you discovered that and what did you mean by you discovered it? Yeah, I think when you have, when you had, I told my mother when I was young that I had been abused by my father and her reaction was negligent. Her reaction was to kind of question if it really happened because she couldn't believe it, because it would say something about her as a mother too and her ability to protect me.
Starting point is 00:06:20 So she kind of didn't deal with it in the right way, which then again at 16 I let her know again that I think this happened, mom, like I remember these few details and I told her and trusted her to hold that space for me, but she was not prepared, you know, and so I kind of just tried to forget. And I think when you do that active forgetting, and you think, okay, well, you know, this person didn't listen to me, who I trusted so much, and who I still trust so much and love so much, you
Starting point is 00:06:51 mitigate and you think, well, I guess it didn't happen or I guess I misremembered. And then you realize when you're at the age I was, which was like, I think I was 32, and I would like to talk about this now because because, and I, and I, and I, I, and I, th, I, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, thi, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thri, thri, thri, thri, toeeei, thrust, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi,, no, I would like to talk about this now because she's long gone and all I have is myself and I really need to get over and I need to look at this and I need to talk about it. Right. Yeah. When you look at your experiences growing up in the world you grew up in and your relationship with your father and your mother, do you find that those things contributed to the stage in th. th. and th. and th. and th. and th. and th. and th. And th. And th. And th. And thoe, th. And tho, thi, I, I, thi, I thi, I was, tho, tho, and thi, thi, thi, I thi, and I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, and I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I to to to to to to, and I, and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. and I th. and I th. and I th. and I th. and I, I th. and I th. And, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th th thin, and I really really really that those things contributed to the stage in the book where you talk about having to institutionalize yourself?
Starting point is 00:07:28 And what was that like? What is the conversation someone has with themselves where they go, I have mental health issues, I need to address this? Is there a shame? Is there a fear? And how do you overcome that? Yeah, there's this stigma when we are vulnerable and we realize, oh I'm crying more than I should, I feel debilitated, like I can't go to work and I can't function. There's this urge and people encourage it that we just get over and go to work, that we just don't deal with it, but then, you know, I broke down after trying to just get over it and deal with the day-to-day aspect of life. I broke down and I had to realize that like my mental health was more important than going
Starting point is 00:08:16 to work, you know, and I think I had the luxury at the time that it happened where I actually know I was evicted after I checked myself in. So it really does have these effects. You have to have the luxury of having, being able to have a breakdown. A lot of people don't, you know, a lot of people can't just check themselves in when they do. Their life has changed forever. And I was just kind of lucky in that things did fall apart after that.
Starting point is 00:08:41 But I wasn't willing to give up hope, you know, that was the last thing, I'm still holding it. Right, and that is a thread that is apparent throughout the book is hope, you know, from a hopeless place moving forward to the space you're living in now in a loving relationship with your kids and with your husband and surrounded by friends and your community, which I feel is a big part of this story. How important is it or why do you think it's so important for indigenous voices to be heard in their most authentic way as opposed to being told from the view of
Starting point is 00:09:13 somebody on the outside? Yeah I think for a long time people have engaged with our communities with with the hope to fix it and save us, you know, and I think we we never wanted that. We don't need to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to do to do to do the the to do to do their their their their their their their their their their their their the hope to fix it and save us. You know, and I think we never wanted that. We don't need missionaries. We need to do things for ourselves and also for people to stop exploiting us and our land and our resources and saying that we're doing it to ourselves when we're poor.
Starting point is 00:09:41 You know what I mean? I know what you mean. So I think it's, I don't know. I mean, I look at it and I that and I that and I that and I that and I that and I that and I that and I that it and I that it and I that it and I that it and I th, I th, I that it and I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I think, I thi, thi, I thi thi thi. thiaries, thiaries, thiaries, thiaries, thi thi thi th I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi it. I think there should be more of it, you know, yeah. I think I agree with you. It's a beautiful story. You have honestly one of the most amazing voices when it comes to putting it down on the page. Thank you so much for being on the show. Talk to a beautiful memoir is available now. Watch the Daily Show, Week nights at 11 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. You may be tempted to skip this ad, but don't. Marketers want their audience to stick around.
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Starting point is 00:11:02 I'm Tim Harford, host of the Cautionary Tales podcast, and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. From New York to Tahiti will examine villains undone by their villainy, monstrous self-devaring egos and accounts of the extraordinary power of decency. Listen on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.

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