The Daily Show: Ears Edition - The Daily Show Podcast Universe Episode 1: These American Lies

Episode Date: January 13, 2020

Introducing The Daily Show Podcast Universe, a five-episode miniseries, each episode a parody of a popular podcast or podcast genre. Subscribe HERE or search for "The Daily Show Podcast Universe" to hear them all.In this episode listen to These American Lies, hosted by Desi Lydic and Michael Kosta, where they explore President Trump's claim that 3-5 million people voted illegally in the 2016 presidential election. It's sure to be the talk of your next Upper West Side dinner party. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a Second Look on Apple Podcasts, starting September 17.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Hi, I'm Desilightic. If there's one thing the world needs right now, it's more podcasts. And The Daily Show with Trevor Noah is proud to present the Daily Show Podcast Universe, every podcast you've ever heard in one five-episode miniseries. Look for the link in the show notes or subscribe to the Daily Show-Nose to all five episodes featuring Trevor, the correspondence, and special guests. They're all super short. And now, enjoy, the the the the the the the the the the the the the-inse the-iniii-inininjjjjjji-invvi-invay-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-i-i-oe-oe-i-i-o-o-o-i-i-o-in-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o to to to to to to to to to to to to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho-new tho-new thoe th th th th th th th th th th th th th-s tho-s tho-s tho-s tho-s tho-s. tho-s. tho-s. thoa-soa-soa-newy-s. thoa-s. thoa-s. thoa-s thoa-newy- They're all great, and they're all super short.

And now, enjoy these American lies. Lying. It's as American as apple pie, or getting in a fist fight over a chicken sandwich. And it's especially American now that the president is a ninja-level liar. Donald Trump lies so often that even his biggest lies can get lost in the fray. This is these American lies. Have you ever told a lie? Let's admit it. We all have. Have you ever told a lie?

Let's admit it, we all have. Just this morning I was talking to the doorman in my co-op and he said, Michael, do you know my name? And I said, of course I know your name. Don't be silly. In reality, I have no idea what my doorman's name is. I think it's something Italian, like Credenza or Gabbagool. So I lied to him. Today's show is about lies.

People lie about all sorts of things. They lie about their age, they lie about their weight. They lie about their whereabouts, the night their neighbor's charcoal grill went missing. But some people lie more often than others. One of those people is the president. And we're going to look at one of his biggest whoppers. The 3 to 5 million people voted illegally in the 2016 election. From WTDS in New York, I'm Michael Costa. And Credenza, if you're listening, I apologize for not knowing your name, buddy.

You're listening to The Daily Show presents, these American lies. Part 1. Part 1. What's 3 to 5 million illegal voters among friends? I'm here with producer Desi Lydick. Desi, it's been a while. I saw you on Saturday. You crashed your car into my mailbox. So, you're here to talk about the voter fraud lie. Right. The lie this week is that 3 to 5 million people voted illegally in the 2016 election. Wait, what? Do people know about this?

No, it's a lie. Costa, we're on these American lies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Sure. Okay. So the voter fraud lie is still important today. Republicans use fears of voter fraud to restrict voting. We've seen it in swing states like Georgia, Virginia, and Wisconsin, where 200,000 people were recently purged from the voter rolls by a circuit judge. And to understand this lie, you really have to know about this guy, Donald Trump. Donald Trump has lived a pretty incredible life. He's been a real estate developer, a mail order stake salesman, a two-time Emmy loser. And in 2016, he became the president of the United States.

It is now official. Donald Trump has won the electoral college. Now, most people would be happy to win the presidency. But for Trump, winning wasn't enough. Donald Trump won with 306 electoral votes, even though Hillary Clinton got nearly two and a half million more popular votes. See Trump won the electoral college, but he lost the popular vote.

So it's like he won the lottery, but only because he stole the winning ticket from a 7-Eleven cashier. No, not at all. Tell me more about that. Trump won the election, even though he got almost 3 million fewer votes than Hillary Clinton. And you gotta understand, Donald Trump has a fragile ego. At his comedy central roast in 2011, he told the comedians who were roasting him there

was one thing they couldn't make fun of. Do you know what that was? His enormous ass. His wealth. He's got thin skin, especially when it comes to having less than others. So rather than admit he won fewer votes than Hillary Clinton, Trump did what came natural to him. He lied. He told members of Congress that maybe 3 to 5 million people voted illegally in the most

recent presidential election. It's a claim the president repeated during his first official White House meeting with congressional leaders, telling them he lost the popular vote to Hillary Clinton only because millions of illegal ballots were cast. The same claim he made on Twitter after his win, saying, I won the popular vote if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally. I won the popular vote if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally. It's a stunning claim. Right, it's kind of like saying I wanted Scrabble, but only because I kicked my opponent in the crotch.

I can do the rest of the story myself if you just want to take off. Great, I'm going to go microwave a taco. Every lie starts somewhere, and this American lie was born in one of the birthplaces of American democracy. Long Island? Massachusetts. Well I got a number. How do you like their match? The state flower is a Dunkin' Donuts coffee bean, and the state's song is an Irish guy puking outside a baseball stadium. And now, this state has another claim to fame, a professor whose work inadvertently ignited the voter fraud controversy. Brian Schaffner, one of the academics behind the study told

CNN Trump is misinterpreting the study, calling Trump's claims absurd and not even plausible. I'm Brian Schaffner. This is Brian Schaffner. I'm a professor of political science at Tufts University. He's a professor of political science at Tufts University. Why are you repeating everything I say? Schaffner's a smart guy, even if he doesn't know how podcasts work. I'm a principal investigator for the cooperative congressional election study, which is a data set that has caused all these problems. Every election year, Schaffner's group surveys internet users about their political views. The survey doesn't specifically ask about voter fraud, and yet...

There's a question included in the survey that's not really meant to look for non-citizens, but there's a response option that would identify them as non-citizens, and that essentially led to this big controversy. There were over 30,000,000 respondents respondents respondents respondents respondents respondents respondents respondents respondents respondents respondents respondents respondents respondents respondents respondents respondents respondents respondents,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, their,000, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to this big controversy. There were over 30,000 respondents to the survey in 2008, and among that group, there are a little over 300 who identified themselves as non-citizens when they responded to the survey. 38 of those supposed non-citizens claimed to have voted. So we've got this internet survey taken in 2008. Now flash forward from 2008 that Senator Barack Obama of Illinois will be the next president of the United States.

He defeated to 2014. Because that's when this data set evolves from a brought to you by Warby Snarker. Do you find it difficult to come up with the perfect quip when you're bantering with your friends? Try Warby Snarker. We send you four snappy witticisms that you can try out at home. Only keep the ones you find clever and incisive. Whether you're at a dinner party where everyone supports Elizabeth Warren or you're discussing the new Tanahasi-Coats article exclusively with white people, we've got the perfect rejoinder. With Warby Snarker, we guarantee your friends will say, damn, now that guy's finished infinite jest.

Warby Snarker. Don't leave your brownstone without it. Hi everyone, we're back with part two, a rough lie. And I just wanted to say for anyone listening at home, that the next part of our podcast contains severe profanity in extreme graphic descriptions of sex acts. What? No, it doesn't. If you're listening with your children, you better turn it off unless you want those kids to grow up fast. Okay, just ignore him. Okay, so it's 2014. Jesse Richmond, a researcher at Old Dominion University, or ODU, comes across the survey. Richmond takes the responses to that final question about being a citizen and extrapolates that anywhere between 38,000 and 2.8 million non-citizens voted in 2008. There's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just th, just, just, just, just, just, just thi, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Okay,000 and 2.8 million non-citizens voted in 2008.

There's only one problem with Jesse Richmond's conclusion. Jesse Richmond has been dead for 50 years. Uh, no. Here's Brian Schaffner revisiting his 2008 survey that became the basis for Richmond's work. We did a study where we actually re-contacted the people who had claimed to be non-citizens, and a lot of them, when we asked the same question again, changed their answer. And among the people who actually claimed to be non-citizens, both times we asked, none of them were voters, none of them.

Brian Schaffner had renounced his own findings, but by this time, it's too late. Right-wing media members are using the ODU survey to claim that voter fraud is an enormous problem, even though it's based on one studies interpretation of a flawed data set. So I guess Desi, just one question remains. Right. How did this lie get to Trump? Oh, I was going to ask, is 15 minutes in the microwave too long for a single taco? But that's good too. Your question is a good one. So it turns out Trump may have been turned on to voter fraud in his natural habitat. Four! A golf course. Five days after Trump's inauguration, he hosted dinner for Republicans and Democrats. He tells his guests that he would have won the popular vote if it hadn't been for the three to five million illegal votes. So according to the New York Times, a Democrat at thue, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to th. to true, true, true, true, true, true, tru. tru- tru- tru- tru- tru- tru- tru- tru- tru- tru- tru- tru- tru- tru----------------n. tre tre tre the 3 to 5 million illegal votes. So according to the New York Times, a Democrat at the dinner asked Trump, where are you getting this information?

And Trump cites a guy named Bernard Longer. Oh, I loved him in Das Bout. Bernard Longer is a German professional golfer. He won the Masters twice. It is not often you smile after a miss. But you can if you're Bernard Longer, and the master's champion of 1993. He's now 60 years old.

So apparently Trump went golfing with Longer some time between Election Day 2016 and this dinner on January 23, 2017. And on the golf course, Longer told Trump about his experience on election day in Florida. Longer went to vote and he was told that he wasn't eligible told Trump about his experience on election day in Florida. Longer went to vote and he was told that he wasn't eligible to. Because he's been dead for 50 years. Because he's German and not a US citizen. But longer looked at other voters in line who he said looked as if they should not be allowed to vote.

Because they've been dead for 50 years. No one. Boris Karloff has been dead for 50 years. He died February 2nd, 1969, complications from pneumonia. Boris Karloff has been dead for 50 years. So Trump's got this idea on his head from longer. People are illegally voting because this German golfer told him so, and he's upset that he didn't win more votes than Hillary. So instead of investigating this claim, instead of checking with any election officials, he just starts saying in public. Millions of illegal votes.

That is something that is extremely fundamental to our functioning democracy, a fair and free election. Sure. Sure. You say you're going to launch an investigation into this. Sure. Done. What you have presented so far has been debunked. It's been called false. I call... Look at the peer report. I called the author of the Pew report last night and he told me that they found no evidence of voter fraud. He said no evidence of voter fraud. Then why did he write the report according to Pew report? Then he's that Pew report he was mentioning. He was probably confusing it with the study from old dominion which leapfroged off the survey from Brian Schaffner which, which, the to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the, to, to, toe, toe, the the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. the, the the the, the, the, the the the the the, the the the the the the th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, theer's theeeeeew, throoooooooooooooooooooooe, the, the, the, which, remember, has been debunked, which, remember, doesn't really matter

because now this lie has been supercharged. He continues to make this assertion, that there were somewhere between three and five million voters that voted illegally in the last election. He's got his spokespeople lying, citing the survey. As I said, I think the president has believed that for a while based on studies information he has. But you made it about the media.

the president's lies about voter fraud. About wiretapping. His repeated lies about those issues. He doesn't think he's lying about those issues and you know it. And of course his friends at Box News repeat the lie back to him. President Trump continues to claim that anywhere from three to five million undocumented immigrants across the country voted costing him the popular vote. A lot of people think and remember about the president's comment about three to five million votes illegal in this country. All this because of something that happened on the internet in 2008. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, the thi, the the thi, the thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. th. And, thi. And, thi. thi. And, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theean. thi. thean. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th illegal in this country. All this because of something that happened on the internet in 2008.

That's like a scandal breaking today because the president thought a Chuck Norris fact was real. Desi, I just want to break in here and warn our listeners. The next section of the podcast contains several slurs about the Irish and audio taken from a hardcore pornographic film from Japan. What script are you reading from? Anyway, Donald Trump doesn't just let this lie go. Oh no. In May 2017, he does this. Donald Trump just signed an executive order creating a commission on election integrity to investigate alleged voter fraud. Vice President

Mike Pence and Kansas Secretary of State Chris Kobach will chair it. That's right. This lie created jobs. Real people kissed their kids goodbye in the morning and went to work in service of this lie. That's crazy, though. People are kissing their kids? But it turns out this commission was a mistake because after a year of work, the commission disbands. They couldn't find any evidence of widespread voter fraud.

He formed a commission to investigate his lie. That's like lying to your friend about how much you weigh and then insisting on stepping onto a scale. Actually, that, oh, yeah, no, that is a good metaphor. And then you step off the scale, kick the guy in the crotch, steals wallet. Nope, you lost it again. Trump's Department of Justice was also investigating and was able to find just 19 illegal voters

in North Carolina. So 3 to 5 million illegal votes in the 2016 election, that's just a lie. A lie with humble beginnings that worked its way from an internet survey to a Virginia university, to a right-wing website, to a German golfer to the president of the United States. Desi Lydick is a producer at These American Lies. She recently unfriended me on Facebook. No hard feelings, Desi. I'm Michael Costa. We'll be back next week with more fibs, falsehoods, and fabrications on the Daily Show presents...

These American lies. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17.