The Daily Show: Ears Edition - The Daily Show Podcast Universe Episode 5: Podcast Today (Rebroadcast)

Episode Date: January 10, 2021

Desi Lydic, Michael Kosta, and Jaboukie Young-White bring you the ultimate podcast - more ads, more housekeeping, and more plugs for live shows than you ever thought possible. Originally aired February 10, 2020. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Min Like, none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News.

Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts, starting September 17. Are you a busy person who's always on the go? This next podcast is for you. No bull, no filler. Just news and analysis. That's straight to the point. No beating around the bush. No wasting your time. No repetition. We know you're a busy person who's always on the go. This next podcast is for you.

Buckle your seatbelts. Desy Lydic and Michael Costa present. Podcast today. Hello and welcome to podcast today where we cut through the noise and bring you real talk about what's happening today. I'm Desilaitic. I'm Michael Kosta. Before we get to today's episode, some quick housekeeping. Thursday's pod will be released at 6 p.m. instead of 1 p.m. because I have to take my dog to the dentist. Also a little more housekeeping. Friday's show is a listener mail bag. Send in those questions to pod today letters at Mindspring. One last bit of housekeeping. Thursday's pod will be at 1 p.m. again. My dog no longer has a cavity. Terrific. Turns out my dog didn't have a cavity. He just needed a Sharpie. We should also mention tickets are now on sale to our live shows in Oklahoma City, Minneapolis and Hartford. Right. Use code. Use code.

I'm with podcast. San Antonio, Jacksonville, Biloxi, Detroit, Miami, Green Bay, Providence, Atlanta, Chesapeake, Fresno, Norfolk, and Boise. Is that all? Can I announce a code now? Go for it. Use code I'm with podcast. Indianapolis, St. Louis and Providence. We'll see you soon. Use code I'm with podcast for 2% off early bird tickets. I forgot to mention Branson, Missouri. Hey just a reminder that you should follow that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tod. today. today. today. today. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the. We're also going to be in Branson, Missouri. Hey, just a reminder that you should follow at podcast today on Twitter. Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, TikTok, Pinterest, MySpace, Adult Friend Finder, and of course the Weight Lifting Forums. This episode of podcast today is brought to you by Shrimp Fix.

Every week Shrimp sends you a 24-pound box of delicious golf shrimp. Are you tired of walking down the sidewalk with a big net full of shrimp? Try shrimp fix. It's shrimp. It's shrimp. to your front door. Knock, knock. Who's there?

Look on to the grocery store to buy shrimp? What are you, Amish? Log on to shrimpfix.com, backslash today, and your first order will come with a free bucket of tartar sauce. Before we get started, we have an exciting announcement about a new partnership. Podcast today is teaming up with the good folks at vote spank.org for a great project. Here's the deal. Ahead of the election, vote spank.org and podcast today are going to make polling sites brand spanking new. That's right, Desi. We're going to renovate in Dverman, church basements, school gyms, abandoned circuit cities, anywhere votes are going to be cast. No more polling places will be closed because of raccoon investations, unlike the last time.

All you have to do to participate is go to vote spank.org, sign up, give them your name, email address, birth date, home address, work address, income level. You just show up in some loose-fitting clothes, preferably all black, bring some work gloves, a ski mask, and 20 feet of nautical grade rope, and you're all set. Let's spank this election. Flat palms, big wind-up, firm contact. Vote spank.org. Together we can make democracy brand spank and new. You know, I think it's time to introduce our guest, Debbie. You know, I think it's time to introduce our guest. Yeah, that's right. He's a correspondent for the Daily Show with Trevor Noa,uki Young White. Thanks so much for having me.

You know, the studio is a lot smaller than I thought it would be. the studio is a lot smaller than I thought it would be. Yes, well, it's actually more like a Twitter account. It's my Twitter account, at Djibuki. Cool, and where can our listeners find your Twitter account on Twitter? Fantastic. I can't wait to read it, Desi. Before we get to Djibouki, we just have a little more housekeeping. Podcast Today is looking for new theme music.

So if you're an amateur composer and you want to compose our theme song for free, you can submit your compositions at podcast today music at prodigy.net. Just a few guidelines your theme song has to be original. It has to be less than 30 seconds. Has to be fungy. It must include a flu. There can't be any screams in the background. And it must be in a frequency that sends marine life into a frenzy. Lyrics cannot include slurs against Macedonians or Turks. But they must include at least two references to Sigourney Weaver. Get those submissions in guys. Can't wait to hear that way. Okay we want to remind our listeners to check out our sister pod podcast today this week. This week on

podcast today this week we'll have some amazing guests including Montana governor and former presidential candidate Steve Bullock. Is he related to Sandra Bullock. That's what we're going to find out. You know what I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. the. the. th're gonna find out. Tune in! You know what I was thinking? If Sandra Bullock were the first lady, she'd turn the White House into the Lake House. You know what I'm saying? I don't think I do. Yeah, what does that mean? You know, the Lake House. 2006, Keanu Reeves and Sandra is brought to you by ClareSpace.

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I actually use Claire Space to build my internet tribute to broke down palace. Clare Space. If you make a website about Jennifer Love Hewitt, you're gonna get malware. And now it's time to get to the point. As always, Get to the Pointe, to, is, is, is, is, is, get, is, get, is, to, is, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the, I. the, I. the, I. the, I's, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to the the to the to the the to the the the the. the, the. the Point is sponsored by Henry's Rusty Shave Club. Henry's Rusty Shave Club was started by two college roommates who hated shaving with high-priced razors, so they decided to do something about it. They bought a German factory that had been making torture devices until it abruptly shut down in 1945, but was still filled with thousands of boxes of used oxidizing 74-year-old razors,

and Henry's Rusty Save Club was born.. cl. Club Club Club Club.. th. th. th. th. th-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c used oxidizing 74-year-old razors, and Henry's Rusty Shave Club was born. Now, for only eight bucks a month, you'll get vintage, tetanus lubricated blades delivered right to your door. Henry's Rusty Shave Club. Life is rough. Shouldn't your shave be to? That ad for Henry's Rusty Shave Club is sponsored by Buckbanger.

Costa, you use Buckbanger this week? I sure did. So Monday I went to the movies with my buddy. We saw Aladdin again. Oh you love a rapping genie. I can't help it. Anyway we get the tickets, we see the movie, it's magical. And on the way out of the parking lot I run over a rare bird. Yeah, an ivory biker. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the, I. the, I. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the movie. I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I the th. I t. I'm. I'm. I'm. I t. I'm. I t. I'm. tod. te. today. te. today. t. today. t. t. the t. I the billed woodpecker. Crazy endangered. Huge fine for turning it into a road pancake. So naturally, I opened my wallet to buy the silence of all the witnesses, but, uh-oh, I spent my last Jackson on Mr. Will Smith's heartwarming and humorous tour to force. So what do I do? I open the buckbanger app to the today.

to the to everyone who saw me do it and I'm home by dinner time googling when is Aladdin 2 coming out. By the way the answer? Not soon enough. Uh, Costa, you just confessed to a crime. What? The crime of loving Aladdin? If that's a crime, then lock me up in solitary confinement, preferably with a Bluray of Will Smith's Aladdin. Buckbanger. The easiest way to send money. All right, let's get to the point. But before we do, we need to address something we said on Monday's show. Let's take a listen. It's Monday, and before we get started, we have to the-m. It's Monday, and before we get started, we have some housekeeping.

Right. Tuesday's show will be pushed back to 3 p.m. instead of 1 p.m. I have to be home at 1 p.m. to get my latest shipment from Shrimp Fix. Hey, um, is it bad if, hypothetically, a dog eats a Sharpie? Just some housekeeping on that bit of housekeeping. Tuesday's show was actually released at 3.30 p.m. Instead of 1 p.m. Because th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to th. th.30 p.m. instead of 3 p.m. Because we had more housekeeping than we anticipated. Just a bit more housekeeping. We are aiming to have less housekeeping going forward. That's right. Fewer housekeeping? Fewer housekeeping. Guys, by the way, it's actually houses keeping? Like attorneys general or

A.Saps, Rocky. Just so you know. And now let's get to the point. Quick reminder, if you like Get to the Point as well as other great podcast today segments like check this out. Is this real life? It's only Tuesday and that just happened. Rate and review us. Rate and review us on Apple podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, B. P.S. Squad, Hewlett Packer Pods, Prodogy, CompuServecast, and Earthlink.weigh, slash, podcast, backslash, reaslash. And just to clarify, because there's been some confusion, that's the backslash symbol followed by the word backslash. If you end that URL with two backslash symbols, it sends you to a pretty out their website. Yeah, it's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. to to th. to toe. tooom, toe. toe. toe. I's toe. I's, toe. I's, toe. I's, toe. I's, toe. I's, toe. I's, toe. I's, toe. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. to. to. th. it sends you to a pretty out there website. Yeah it's real jarring stuff actually. Anyway those reviews really help us out. They boost our rankings which allow us to be discovered by more people and they also can

serve as powerful character statements for us during court proceedings can't they? By the way shout out to listener David the Dave Man 18. Your review saying we were quote awesome help me get back custody of my kids. Can I go now or do you guys want to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the to the the to the their to to their their to to to their to to their to to to to to to their to to their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. to. to. to. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. to. te. to. to. to. to. to. to. the go now or do you guys want me to weigh in on something? No we're ready for you. Yeah sure are. Our guest today is Jabuki Young White. Jabuki how are you doing? Oh you know I'm pretty good I'm doing pretty good and I just wanted to throw in there. My appearance today is brought to you by have the money to buy lots of shit? Well, just packaging will ship you a big box of tissue paper, bubble wrap, and all that other stuff that's so fun to open. And that's it.

No meals to cook, no clothes to try on and send back. It's just the packaging. Thanks. Before we move on, we've tho. We've got some sad personnel news. We do? We do? This is Michael Costa's final episode of podcast today. Wait, was I fired? We are super excited about our permanent new host, Jabuki Young White. What's us?

I'm super excited to break down all the issues of the day with y'all. Costa, can you please get your shit out of your office? Now you can still listen to Michael Kostan on our brand new International Sister Pod, podcast today Kosovo. Up to the date, news and commentary live from the Balkans. Kosovo? Cosovo? Cosovo like the country? Just read the paper. Hello, podcast today Kosovo fans. Tickets are now on sale for our live shows in Sarajevo, Debrovnik, Chernobyl, Bucharest, and northern Chechnya.

Use Code Hollow, Kosovo for 20 Zlatels off. And so I don't even have a passport. By the way, a bit of housekeeping, there is now an emergency bonus pod for our titanium tier supporters on Patreon. That's right. Head to our fan page right now to hear an exclusive five-alarm bonus pod that features our extended interview with podcast today, Kosovo host Michael Costa, who will have secretly infiltrated a Chechen terrorist group.

People, point of order, please. Has the new Aladdin even been released in Kosovo? Podcast today is produced by Tom Baylor and Sheila Mansfield and recorded at Daily Show Studios in the heart of Manhattan's little Belgrade. Trevor Noah's is our managing editor. Our research is provided by Miroslav Birkovich and Bogdanovich. Our audio engineer is Petra Mistorovich. Legal services provided by the law firm of F. F. M. Alosavich. A man known only as the Scorpion is our lookout. An

unsuspecting Uber driver named Cynthia is our wheelman and laundry and pet sitting is handled by Zivko Vuyadinovich. Our fabulous interns are Greg Rasputin, Lizzie Borden thethe third, and Lyle Menendez. Costa want to leave us with any parting words? Yeah, actually, I just googled and Aladdin is not in Kosovo right now. There's no, it doesn't seem to be any showtimes or movie theaters. This is kind of what keeps me grounded. Oh, you have nothing to say now, both of you?

I guess you could wait for it to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to show it to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to say now, both of you? I guess you could wait for it to show up on Prime. And now you're the fucking host all of a sudden. I mean, you didn't even know, you didn't even know that you were gonna be the host. But I- Just give it 10 years of hard work, and then you see what to have age were. Well, you know, I stepped up to the plate and I think maybe that maybe that maybe that maybe that maybe that maybe that maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could maybe that could that could that could that could maybe that could be that could be that could be that could be that could be that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could You couldn't even pronounce Zerjanovich. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television.

Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17th. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.