The Daily Show: Ears Edition - The Daily Showography of Tucker Carlson

Episode Date: June 29, 2021

In this June 2021 segment, The Daily Show looks at Tucker Carlson, tracing his failure-strewn path across the cable news landscape to his embrace of misogyny and white supremacy on Fox News. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17th. What makes a legendary journalist? Gravitas, honesty, eyes so piercing they can give you a nose ring? No. It's adaptability. And no one's better at that than Tucker Carlson. Man of a nose ring? No. It's adaptability. And no one's better at that than Tucker Carlson. Man of a thousand faces, but also somehow only one face. Tucker, Swanson, McNear, Carlson. His father was a journalist and U.S.

ambassador to the Seychelles, a popular vacation spot for people's money. His stepmom was an arist to Swanson Frozen Foods, a heritage he still pays to the Seychelles, a popular vacation spot for people's money. His stepmom was an heiress to Swanson Frozen Foods, a heritage he still pays tribute to with his trademark frozen facial expressions. He has a brother, Buckley Swanson Peck Carlson. You don't really need to know anything about him, but how about those names, huh? Others might have tried to downplay their wealth, but downplaying was never Tucker's style. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. their. th. th. their. to. to. to. to, to, toe, toe, to, to, to, to, toe, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their. I, their. I, their. I, their. I, their. I, their. I, their. their. their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. I. their, their, their, their, their,to downplay their wealth but downplaying was never Tucker's style. Well, I'm like extraordinarily loaded just from like money I've, you know, inherited. I've never needed to work. He didn't need to work.

We could be living in a world where Tucker, Bronson, McChad Carlson isn't on TV every night. But luckily for America, that didn't happen. After college, Tucker took his talents to journalism, rising to prominence as the liberal's favorite conservative. Everyone liked him. He seemed normal and unwhite supremacisty. Tucker, Swan Lake, McNordstrom Carlson, took that palatable conservatism to CNN and PBS, eventually becoming the perpetually bow-tied co-host of CNN's crossfire.

There he helped steer cable news away from meaningful discourse and more towards people shouting talking points at each other like a housewives reunion. It was going great until one day when a comedy central extremist infiltrated the set and wrecked havoc. You're a partisan, what do you call it, hacks? Now this is theater. I mean, it's obvious. No, no, no, how old are you?

And you wear a bow tie. Yeah, I do. I do. So, after surviving that ugly attack, Tucker made the difficult decision to move on. Desperate times called for desperate Tuckers. So the butterfly emerged butterfly th butterfly th butterfly the butterfly th butterfly thufurtfurt fly butterfly th butterfly thu fly thu fly tucked for desperate tuckers. So the butterfly emerged from yet another cocoon and flew to MSNBC where he was both respected and likable. Someone you could definitely trust, like Matt Lauer.

You know who was pals with him back then? Rachel Madow. It's weird to see now, like Emperor Palpatine going to brunch with Baby Yoda. Carlson's low-rated MSNBC gig didn't last long, but his personal brand only grew stronger. He was not going to rest until the world knew all 36 of his names. Having flunked out of TV twice, Tucker Seamus MacDuck, Carlson began rebuilding his journalism career by working with one of radio's most respected broadcasters, Bubba the Love Sponge, where he was able to channel his inner shock-joc.

I love women, but they're extremely primitive. If you're talking to a feminist, and she's giving you, well, you know, men really need to be more sensitive and just, you know, actually, you just need to be quiet and kind of do what you're told. I'm not defending underage marriage at all. I just don't think it's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's to to to thi's to thi's thi thi thi thi. thi. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And thi's thi's thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi's thri's thri's thrown toeean toean thean thean thean thean thean thi's thi's thi's thi's the same thing exactly as pulling a child from a bus stop and sexually assaulting that child. The rapist in this case has made a lifelong commitment to live and take care of the person. So it is a little different. Rock is a crappy place filled with a bunch of, you know, semi-literate,

primitive monkey. She just does seem a little fitty. Yeah. You said it, I'm just agreeing with it. One thing couldn't be denied. Tucker Carlson said all that, out loud, on purpose, knowing other people would hear him. Plenty of people would be proud to coast on calling women the sea word, but not Tucker. In 2010, he remade himself yet again as the public intellectual behind the new website, the Daily Caller.

Soon, he was ready for his most important role yet. Fox News Superhero. Tucker Vanderpump McRib Carlson was home. And this time, he became something completely new, a man of the people. Democrats have become the party of the elite professional class, eager to lecture you about open borders, global warming from the party of the elite professional class, eager to lecture you about open borders, global warming from their gated communities. The most privileged people in our society shouting down at Trump's voters.

Damn you working class Americans, you must be quiet. Doctor, you went to the elite schools of this country. I did. I did. And that's why I know it's a scam. It was a performance of a lifetime, an aristocrat who spent his entire adult life working in media, acting as if he had just crawled out of the coal mines and sat in front of a TV camera.

And Carlson wasn't afraid to use his new clout to uplift the most needy among us. People who hate immigrants. Our leaders worship multiculturalism because all cultures are equal, except for they're not all equal. Our civilization is superior and we need to defend it. Latin American countries are forcing demographic change on this country to rate that American voters consistently say they don't want. We have a moral obligation to admit the world's poor they tell us, even if it makes our own country poorer and dirtier and more divided. Isn't it crowding your country the fastest way to despoil it, to pollute it?

Tucker's Swamp Thing McGruff Carlson was like a beautiful, reverse statue of liberty, telling everyone to get their tired huddle masses out of here. But any Fox News host could hate immigrants. In fact, most of them did. So Tucker up to the ante. How precisely is diversity or strength? Do you get along better with your neighbors or your coworkers if you can't understand each other or share no common values?

White supremacy, that's the problem. This is a hoax. This may be a lot of things, this moment we're living through. But it is definitely not about black lives. And remember that when they come for you, and at this rate they will. We have every right to fight to preserve our nation and our heritage and our culture. In the skull of the African here, the area associated with submissiveness is larger than any human or any other subhuman species on planet Earth. Tucker was on fire like a cross on a black family's lawn. But as 2021 began, he was once again restless for a change.

So Carlson put on yet another hat, this time made of tinfoil. Democrats rigged the election in front of all of us, and nobody did anything about it. And what about this vaccine? Why are Americans being discouraged from asking simple, straightforward questions about it? Questions like, how effective are these drugs?

Are they safe? And by the way, how much of the drug companies making off this stuff? The Biden's affection is totally real. It's in no way part of a slick PR campaign devised by cynical consultants determined to hide the president's senility by misdirection. Oh, not at all. Their love is as real as real as climate change. A little nuts? Well, maybe. But unlike the moon landing or a 44-year marriage, you can't fake ratings like this.

And while yes, at least one person did sue for defamation, a judge dismissed the case on the grounds that any reasonable viewer knows that even things Tucker says are facts are not actual facts. So whatever the future holds for him, one thing we know is that Tucker, Severus McFly Carlson will do it with a smile, or whatever's going on there. Watch the Daily Show, weeknights at 11, 10th Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes any time on Paramount Plus. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968,

there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News.

Listen to 60 Minutes, A Second Look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.