The Daily Show: Ears Edition - The Daily Showography of Vladimir Putin | Nick Offerman

Episode Date: October 21, 2021

U.S. police officers resist COVID-19 vaccine mandates, The Daily Show examines the life of Vladimir Putin, and Nick Offerman discusses "Where the Deer and the Antelope Play." Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts.

You watch the NBA opening thing, didn't you? Yeah? Opening game? The Los Angeles Lakers, the Golden State Warriors. What an amazing game. I love how the commentators talk about LeBron like he's dead, though. That's probably one of the strangest things that I watch, especially in American sports. I'd be like, LeBron James with a, wow! Oh man! He, I can't believe he's still doing that at that age. He's 36. They make it sound like an eight-year-old man is running around on the court. LeBron, he still got it, folks.

You know why I get pissed of about that is because I'm the same age as Lebron, basically. And then whenever they talk about him, the comments, they're like, you would assume that he's, I mean, he shouldn't be able to do these things at that age and I'm like guys I'm not I'm not that old like I find I'm taking it personally on the couch I'm like I'm not that old he's so old and I'm not that old guys coming to you from the heart of Times Square the most important place on earth it's the Daily Show here's tonight shots for cops getting to know Vladimir Putin and Nick Offerman. This is the Daily Show with Trevor Noah.

Hey, what's going on everybody? Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah, and joining me for today's headlines is our very own, Dosey Sloan. What's going on, what's going? What's happening, baby? How you doing? So good to see you here again, hanging out, you know, cool here, you're ready for the jokes, right? Hey, man, every time I come they give me free clothes. So, listen, I'm, um, I'm just here, you know, looking at my, looking for, looking for a Halloween costume, you know, just looking for, you know, and I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, than, than, than, to, than, than, to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the, that. But so what are you, what are you gonna go for as Halloween? I don't know, you know, sometimes you just wanna be like sexy random thing. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

So what I've really been enjoying is like sexy, like pepper shaker, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, the sexy coin purse, which could be innuendo, thi. Are you thiii? which I'm hoping for. Okay, okay. But what do you, are you gonna go as anything? Do you celebrate Halloween? Do they have Halloween where you from? No, you get burned if you celebrate Halloween where I'm from. But, but I do like, I do like going out and like just dressing. I, I find it's just like a cool time to just, I try and dress as a warm thing.

I find a lot of people go the opposite is, it's very cold. It's October, yeah. Yeah, and so I find, I try to make it, whatever I am, it's like warm Jason, or warm Freddy Kruger. Like, Freddy Kruger's great because he's got like the sweater. Right, but that's what I. But male costumes are always warm. Yeah. Trying to be like the Pope or something like they'rethey want to see Trevor Noah chest popping Clark Kent Superman what nobody's sexy when they're shivering that is not true because when you shake you twirk a little bit I didn't

think of that I did not think of that that's what I'm here for friend all right well let's kick things off with some news about Facebook Instagram's weird aunt. And I know it seems like we talk about Facebook more than your mom talks about a nice girl you should meet, but this story is different because Facebook is reportedly going to change its name. Yeah, the website will still be Facebook, but the company is going to have a new name. And I don't know if this is a good idea.

I mean Facebook is one of those iconic brands like Hiroshima and Ted Bundy. Do you really want to lose that name recognition? But I'm excited to find out what the new name is going to be. Like, you know, I don't know, maybe they'll go with my space. I mean, they already took everything else from them. Might as well finish the today's. their their their their their their. So, why is Facebook pulling a yay and shopping around for a new name? Well, it turns out there are a couple of reasons. The name will reflect the company's focus on building the metaverse

and its desire to be known as more than social media. The rebrand could also help Facebook could also help Facebook. the tea to help Facebook. the society is like, you, tho' the tho' thiiiii's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii' their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their thi, thi, thi, thi.... thi thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th t too-s tttttttthe the tthe tttttttttttttttttttthe the ttthe the the the t t t 't think the name is really the problem that people have with Facebook. Yeah, society is like, you guys are destroying democracy and Facebook is like, we hear you, what if we went by Bookface? Second, if you want to change your image, I don't think you should trust Mark Zuckerberg to do that. I mean, have you seen this man's hair cuts? It looks like he goes to the barber and he goes to the barber and to ask, to ask, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, to, the, to, the, the, the, the, what, what, what, what if, what, what if, what if, what if to, what if to, what if to, what if the, what if, what if the, what if the, what if to, what if the, what if the, what if the, what if the, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what, what, what, what if, what, what, what, what, what, what to, what the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. th they. th they. they. th they. th they. thr-a, they. thi. thr importantly, I feel like we're focusing on the name, and that's distracting us from the fact that they're building a metaverse.

What does that even mean? Do you hear that? Are we supposed to just pretend that's not terrifying? Facebook has got us arguing about names. Meanwhile, they're getting ready to suck our brains through the computer and put Zuckerberg wants a metaverse is because he can make it all so that our online versions sound exactly like him. Hello, Mark, I'm Trevor. So nice to meet you. Finally, a world where everybody talks normally. It's so good to be here. Okay, okay. First, first, first. Can you never? Ever be that Zuckerberg burger again? That shit was, I don't, is that weird? Is that weird, Dulce? I, man, I, I, I, I, that, I, that, that, that, I, that, I, that, that shit. th, th, that shit. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeee. the. theeee. the. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thi. thi That shit was... I don't... Is that weird, Dulce? Hey, man, I would throw something at you.

That shit is too creepy. Maybe I'll go as Mark Zuckerberg for Halloween. Stop playing. Listen, but like, you know what that sounds like? When white dudes do a white dude voice? Oh, that's so funny. Like, when white people do an impression to white, white, white, white like. That he is just like leveled up so high in whiteness that even white people know that white people don't talk like that? All right, let's move on to our next story,

which is about organs. You know, the fun gift you get after a stranger dies in a car crash. And for people who need an organ trash. throwns, thoom. And tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. work well, and it is really hard to find a human organ donor. People are really attached to those things, but there might be a third option soon, because yesterday, right here in New York City, doctors successfully transplanted a kidney from a pig into a human.

Yeah, a pig, which is an amazing story. thii's an amazing story. And according to some experts, this could be the beginning of a whole new era. This marks the first time a patient's immune system did not immediately reject the organ. If successful here, the option of using pig organs could mitigate a shortage of transplant organs. What we need is a sustainable, renewable source of organs and that's what xenotransplantation would provide. I mean tell me that's not incredible. A future where you can easily replace your organs with

pig organs. But for real though if you get a pig organ I mean you have to become a vegan then yes can we agree on that? Because imagine if someone gave you his kidney and then you ate his whole family. That shit's disrespectful. And there are three problems I can see with this whole thing. The first is having pig organ sounds great until your dog starts sniffing you all the time and licking its lips. And second, knowing how bad American health care is, most people won't the pig kidney. they's thozy. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. And, thi. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. te. toge. thi. toge. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to have to settle for something less. Okay, unfortunately your health insurance won't cover pig organ, but you're in luck. We're having a sale on raccoons. And here's the third problem that I don't think people have thought about. When you get an organ transport, there is a chance, a small chance, but a chance, nonetheless, that you feel feel, their, their, th.... their, their, their, th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. thrown. their, their, their, their, but their, but their, but their, but their, but their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their.... their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. tog people saying this all the time. Oh, I have their memories.

I have their emotions. I feel what they felt. What happens if you get an organ from a pig? Yeah? Like, what if Trevor gets a pig kidney? And all of a sudden, I'm just like, do you truffles? Truffles? Truffles? Truffles! Truffles! Trea! What green neighborhood do you live in where you could walk down the street smelling troubles?

I don't know why we're so impressed, didn't we do a Baboon Heart in the 80s? We did a Baboon Heart? Yeah, somebody got a Baboon Heart. I didn't have the internet back then, I don't know. Nobody had the internet back the Negro was the thi. You had seven had seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the's a lot of things that you can transplant. Like you could transplant all the organs. The only thing that I'm thinking about is if someone has to have like an intestines transplant from a pig, then they're just gonna be full of chitlins. And that's all have to get a skin graft, then you're just covered in bacon. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I'm not helping. All right, but let's move on from pigs to pugs. And especially a pug named Noodle, who is now blowing up worldwide on Tick-Tock for an amazing account. This is adorable, that is like a daily horoscope where he predicts whether it's going to be a good day or a bad day. And the way he makes his prediction is is way more fun than that bullshit groundhog. Good morning everyone and welcome back to yet another round of no bones. The gamer we find out if my 13-year-old pug woke up with bones and as a result what kind of day we're going to have. Oh my gosh, oh it's a bones day! Look at that! Steady as the beating drum! Okay, you know what that means?

Treat yourself today. Another round of no bones? All right, so we found that he does not. the bones this morning we confirmed he did not. He does not have bones. this morning. I did try a second time to see if maybe that was a fluke, but I can confirm that it was not. His bones are gone. Okay, guys, this is more adorable than that time Joe and Jill Biden visited Munchkin Land. But, but I mean, it's obvious what's really happening, right? I mean, it's cute, but

it's not, it's not about the future. This dog is waking up with a chronic morning erection so when he flops down he's trying to hide it. That's the real bones or no bones. But still I like how this has become the new astrology. It actually makes more sense, you know, I don't know what mercury in retrograde means, but I can't understand that a no bones day is not the day to sign a new lease. That's simple. I don't wonder what this dog tells the other dogs at parties though. You know when th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi tho tho tho tho tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho-a tho-a tho-a tho-a tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi tho thi thi thi thi thi thi tho-a tho-a thro-s throooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe the tell each other what they do and it's just like I sniff out drugs at the airport that's what I do I sniff sniff I sniff out drugs at the airport I help blind people get around in the city that's my job yeah I fall on my ass and then millennials build a life around it I don't get it either y'all do too much with these dogs okay let the damn dog the dog that dog thi thi tho tho tho thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-a their their their their their their to their to to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too. to too. to too. I I I I I too. I they. I their their the the the the the the the the the the the thea. I the the thea. I thea. I thea. I'm the the the damn dog. That dog is 13 years old. That dog don't want to play this damn game with you. Anytime that dog is no bones, it's I don't want to be here anymore. And yet again, you can become an internet

sensation because you need a job. Leave these damn dogs alone. Ain't that important. All we need is that goofy ground hog coming out here and being like six more weeks or winter and then we've been on about about about about about about about about about about all the time we have for the headlines. Let's jump straight into our main story. It's about vaccines. They're the thing keeping millions of Americans from their grandpa's inheritance money. And now, the fight over who is required to get the vaccine is crashing up against the thin blue line.

As we'll see in another installment of Vaccination Nation. of vaccination nation. Vaccine mandates. For the past few months, it's become the biggest fight in the country. I mean, aside from the Netflix CEO and everyone on Twitter, and mandates have been effective at convincing people to get the COVID vaccine, which is why everyone from the federal government to airlines, to even Fox News, is doing one. Yeah, that's a real thing. Fox News has a vaccine vaccine vaccine. Yeah, that's a real thing. Fax news th th thi thi thi thi thi thi vaccine the vaccine the vaccine. the vaccine. the vaccine. the vaccine. the vaccine. the vaccine. thi vaccine vaccine. the vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine. the vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine. to to to the vaccine. to to the vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine. to to to to to th vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine. to to to to to the vaccine. to to to to to to to to to to to vaccine. to vaccine. to vaccine. to vaccine. to vaccine. to vaccine. to vaccine vaccine. to vaccine vaccine vaccine. to vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine vaccine. to vaccine vaccine vaccine. to vaccine vaccine. to vaccine vaccine vaccine. to vaccine vaccine. to vaccine. to vaccine. to vaccine. to vaccine. to to to vaccine. the vaccine. the vaccine. the vaccine. the vaccine. the vaccine vaccine. the vaccine vaccine. the vaccine. to to the vaccine vaccine. to to to to to to to the federal government to airlines to even Fox News is doing one. Yeah, that's a real thing. Fox News has a vaccine mandate, which is insane. It's like seeing one of those Amish farm stands that accepts Apple pay. Like I'm happy, but I did not see that coming. And now the former epicenter of the pandemic, New York City is saying that all of its government workers need to get vaxed and they mean everybody. New this morning, New York City is now requiring all city employees to be vaccinated against COVID-19 no

no longer with any option for weekly testing instead. The new mandate covers more than 160,000 workers including police officers and firefighters. We're asking our public servants and our first responders to do what they do best. Lead us forward, help us out of the COVID-era. If they choose not to, they go on unpaid leave. So we're less than two weeks to that November 1st date. Right now the NYPD says its vaccination rate is approximately 71 percent. Fire Department says around their uniformed workforce have so far gotten the shot. It's a long tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi tho thi. tho tho tho tho tho tho. tho. tho tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho tho. tho tho tho tho tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. the. the. theea. theouou. theouuuuuuu. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo have so far gotten the shot. It's a long way to go. That's right, anyone who works for New York City will have to be vaccinated soon.

Everyone from police and firefighters all the way to the guy who makes sure that the taxis are clean. And as of now, nearly a third of all cops aren't vaccinated. And maybe, maybe they just don't know how to get vaccinated. I mean, I know thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho-s, tho-s, tho-s, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thri. thri. And, toge. And, toge, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, to to to thi.to get vaccinated. I mean, I know it seems easy, but some cops don't even know how to turn on a body camera, so... But this is still a little concerning, because any police who don't get vaccinated can't go to work. And if there's a shortage of police, I mean, that could cause some big problems. I mean, protesters can't kick the Karen's gonna call when they feel scared? Hello, Geek Squad? There's a black man in the park, and...

What do you mean it's not your job? I would have speak to your manager. You get me the manager! Now, New York's police union has already announced that they'll be suing to stop this mandate to stop this mandate, there's been a fierce resistance from cops and firefighters. There has been a wave of resignations and firings in fire and police departments across the country. Los Angeles Fire reports that there have been at least 241 separations from the department. Baltimore's Police Department is down 279 officers. In Massachusetts, the

state police union president is threatening that at least 150 state police will resign. Late yesterday, Seattle police officers and firefighters walked up City Hall steps to turn in their boots. Yeah, that's right, they're turning in their boots. I know what you're thinking right now because I'm thinking the same thing. Wait, don't cops turn in their gun and badge? Because turning in your boots makes it sound like the police departments have the same footwear policy as a bowling alley. McDuffie, we got a robbery happening on 13th Street.

What are you, size 10 and a half? All the occupations, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, them, buddy. I'm gonna say, out of all the occupations, cops and firefighters are the lost people who I'd expect to see this from. I mean, like, these are the same people who sign up to swarm hostage situations or run into burning buildings. But when it comes to the vaccine, suddenly they're like, I don't know.

Seems like a health risk. Like firefighters. They've always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've their their their their their their and selfless, putting their life on the line to help others. That's what part of it makes them so damn sexy. And I just hope that this vaccine controversy doesn't ruin that image. Because trust me, nobody wants to buy a whiny firefighter. You know, actually I'd still buy that one. It's still pretty sexy. I'm not going to lie.

But hey, at least those officers officers officers officers officers officers their convictions, right? They didn't want to follow the rules, so they quit the job. I can respect that. What's a lot more concerning is how some other officers have decided that they'd rather keep their jobs and not follow the rules. In Los Angeles, the county sheriff said he's simply not going to enforce a vaccine deadline that was supposed to take effect today. I don't want to be in a position to lose 5, 10% of my workforce overnight. In Chicago, responding to that city's October vaccine mandate, the head of the police union said his members won't comply.

This has literally lit a bomb underneath the membership, he said. We're in America, gee damnit. We don't want to be forced to do anything, period. This ain't Nazi-Fin Germany. Whoa, Nazi Germany. That dude escalated things way too quick. I mean, although he is a Chicago police officer, so it makes sense. But come on, people, gee, damn it's. And by the way, I don't realize that the LA Sheriff could just decide not to comply

with the vaccine mandate. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thiiiiiauiauiauiauiolate. thiolkiolkiolkioliolioliolk. thiolomea'a'a'er. thiol-s. thiol-s. thiol-s. thiol-a'er. thiol-s. thiol-s. thiol-s. thiol-s. thiol'sananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananititituuia'enenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenit. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that the LA Sheriff could just decide not to comply with the vaccine mandate. That's crazy. Like, is that something we're allowed to do? Because I mean the next time I'm pulled over I'm just going to say, sorry officer I have decided not to comply with the speed limits. What's that? I'm getting shot. Here's what I find the most strange about this story. For years, police police departments have been telling us that nothing their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm just, I'm just, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I's their, I's their, I's their, I's is their, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. to be te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. tellipe. I'm just just just, I'm their, I'm telling us that nothing is more important than protecting the lives of cops on the street, right? It's why cities have been increasing their budget to buy military-grade armor. And it's also why they can't take 30 seconds to determine if someone really is a threat before shooting them. But it turns out that there is literally nothing more dangerous to police officers right now than COVID. Covid right now as we speak speak is the leading cause of death for law

enforcement. In fact, since the start of the pandemic, it has killed more than five times the number of police that were killed by guns. So it turns out that if you do believe that Blue Lives Matter, one of the best ways to show your support is by getting the vaccine. All right, when we come back, we'll take a look at America's former president, Vladimir Putin. And Nick Offerman is joining me on the show. Don't go away. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it.

This is 60 Minutes. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling. But that's all about to change. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to change. to change. to change. to change. to to to to to to to to to to to to the th th. th. And th. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thiiiiiiiiiiiii. And the the th few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17. Welcome back to the Daily Show. A couple of weeks ago, the people of Russia went to the polls,

and by a large margin, elected legislators loyal to President Vladimir Putin, further cementing his hold on the country. But how did Putin become the man we all know today? Well, let's find out in our latest daily showography. Can his flawless intellect and unmatched strength make him somehow more than a man? Russia! At what point does a mortal ruler become a living god? Will I be sitting here till I'm 100 years old? This is the daily showography of Vladimir Putin.

Democracy's Superzar. Vladimir Vladimirvich Putin grew up with everything a Soviet child could ever want. Communal housing. And that's it. We lived in a small room, all three of us, in a communal apartment in Leningrad, with no private facilities. We didn't even have our own bath or shower. It was all the fun of a college dorm, but with way more drinking. From birth, greatness was in his blood.

His father was a party member, and his grandfather was a cook for Joseph Stalin, giving Vladimir access to all the flavors of Soviet Russia. From bland to cold to gray. It was a movie that set Putin on his life's path. The shield and the sword about a dashing Soviet spy inspired him to join the KGB. He'd be the Russian James Bond. Meaning the guy trying to kill James Bond. By 1985, Putin was a lieutenant colonel in the KGB, stationed in glamorous East Germany.

But in 1989, tragedy struck. A crowd of Germans driven mad by the decadent Western influences of Coca-Cola and blue jeans descended upon the Berlin Wall. They smashed it to bits and then, looking for more souvenirs they could later sell to history nerds, they gathered around Putin's station. The Berlin Wall might have fallen, but a great man does not crumble so easily. Putin ran to the basement and set all the KGB's documents on fire. Then he went outside and told the crowd they would be shot if they didn't leave. What an honor for those Germans to be there for the future leaders' first death threat.

Through his heroic actions that day, Putin survived. But sadly, the Soviet Union did not. When I say that the fall of the USSR was one of the greatest catastrophes of the 20th century, I'm talking about a humanitarian catastrophe above all. After the dissolution of the USSR, 25 million Russians suddenly found themselves in a foreign country. That's right. Millions of Russians had to order whole new address labels. Was the downfall of communism really worth that? But Russia and Putin persevered.

Under the steady leadership of the incredibly competent Boris Yeltsin, Putin rose through the political ranks, eventually becoming prime minister. The Russian public wanted to know who was this young and objectively perfect man. To answer that, Putin commissioned a documentary about his life, just like Beyonce. And Putin's film was even cooler. He commissioned this rarely seen documentary about himself. Presenting Vladimir Putin, the credits read, In Power. Weirdly, the soundtrack is from the Broadway show, Katz.

It was without question the second most disturbing movie ever to feature songs from cats. In 1999, Boris Yeltsin abruptly resigned from the presidency to spend more time with his drinking problem. And Putin became the second-elected and first permanent president of Russia. He proved himself not just a formidable head of state, but a man of many talents. A beastmaster. An adventurer. A sportsman.

And a born entertainer. The moon's tus still on blueberry hill. Vladimir Putin is truly a quadruple threat. Quintupple if one of the threats is making actual threats. But most of all, President Putin is a protector of Russia's fragile democracy. Uttar, on the redsignet, machines and stale. A role he takes so seriously that every election he does whatever is necessary to stop inferior candidates from winning. For this devotion, his citizens have rewarded him with the presidency again and again,

by literally unbelievable margins. Vladimir Putin will lead Russia for another six years. He cruised to an expected victory in yesterday's presidential election, winning nearly 77% of the vote. Check this brazen ballot stuffing, caught on camera. In these videos, verified by the AP, voters seem to insert multiple ballots. One election official appears to stroll over to a box, stuff it while no one in the room seems to mind.

Yes, Putin respects people's right to vote so much that he lets them vote two, three, or 78 times in the same election. It wasn't all smooth sailing, though. One time, Putin briefly had to let a friend be president for him until he could run again. And then he had to make a tiny change to the Constitution so he could run again and again. As Russia has thrived, so has the man who embodies it. For his steadfast commitment to fighting corruption,

Russian oligarchs and energy executives have gifted Putin with tens of billions of dollars. My personal suspicion is that certainly Mr. Putin is the richest man in Europe, possibly on the planet. Money, money! And that money would come in handy when unexpected expenses cropped up, like secretly buying a luxury apartment in Monaco for a totally random woman. And yes, one media outlet claimed that the woman was Putin's mistress, but that's ridiculous. Putin was happily married at the time.

And also that media outlet has since been outlawed. Besides, these rumors are completely unfair to the woman's daughter, whose unknown father must be very proud of her and her face that looks absolutely nothing like Vladimir Putin. to try to to circle him like bloodthirsty sharks. Of course, even a perfect country has some malcontents, but whenever those seeking to undermine Putin's streak of uncorrupt democracy begin to circle him like bloodthirsty sharks, somehow, some way, fate always intervenes on his behalf. There seems, for some reason, to be an extremely high mortality rate among independent journalists and political opponents of Mr. Putin.

President Putin dismissed accusations that the Russian state was behind the attack on Mr. Navalny. If our agents had wanted to kill him, he said, they'd have finished the job. Is Russia behind the poisoning of Sergei Skrufav? Look, we're busy here with agriculture, and you ask me about some tragedies. Get to the bottom of things there first, then we'll talk about this. Yeah, why doesn't anyone ever ask Putin about his agriculture programs? Like these new bananas he's working on that grow with the poison already inside them. Sure it's true that some of Putin's critics met untimely ends, but on the other hand,

let's move on. We should be talking about agriculture. Naturally, a true champion of democracy doesn't just want it for his own country. He wants it for all people, which is why Putin began tirelessly assisting with elections around the world, sending his digital democracy helpers to gently nudge voters in the right direction. Putin was so amazing at democracy that in 2016, even the world's so-called greatest democracy was asking for his help. Russia if you're listening. And like the great man he is

Putin answered the call. Tonight a Russian president Vladimir Putin trolling the United States, joking about meddling in the presidential election and saying he'll do it again. I'll tell you a again. I'll tell you a secret. Yes, of course we'll do it. To finally make you happier. Just don't tell anyone. You know what they say. It takes a big man to joke about himself.

And an even bigger, scarier man to joke about destroying your country. That's why in all the world there is no bigger man than Vladimir Putin. How grateful we are for his 21 year rain. His guaranteed 16-year future rain, and if we should be so fortunate. His 100-year rain after that. All right, when we come back, Nick Offerman will try to convince me to go camping. Good luck with that. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes.

It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling? But that's all about to change. Like, none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17.

Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest tonight is actor, humorist, and best-selling author Nick Offerman. He's here to talk about his brand new book that celebrates the beauty of America's great outdoors. Nick, welcome to the show. Thank you, sir. It's so great to see you. I feel like this is like the perfect space for you and your th th th you th you th th you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, starting thi, thi, starting th the show. Thank you, sir. It's so great to see you. I feel like this is like the perfect space for you and your voice. That's what I feel. Normally when I see you there's there either too many people, you know, and then your voice doesn't seem like it's matching the energy. It's true.

This feels like the kind of space where Nick would say some. was meant to be said in. I take that as a compliment. What you just said reminds me of my dad, who's really funny, but whenever you're in a crowd, he always will gesture to you and then step away and say something under his breath. Like, I hope you didn't have the trout. And I'm sorry for the atmosphere that you might be experiencing. Oh, wow. I feel like you got the funny, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's was that's was to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be meant to be to be to be meant to be meant to be to be meant to be meant to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the crowd. the the crowd. the the the crowd. that the crowd. that that the crowd. that the crowd. that that the the the that's the the that's that for the atmosphere that you might be experiencing. Oh wow. I feel like you got the funny man.

That's what you got. Well, that's big talk coming from you. No, no, no. I mean that for real. Like, you know, some people know you obviously from Parks and Rec. And then some people will know you from the podcast that you host with your wife, which is, I would argue the most thee, the, the, the, the, the, thiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th..................... th.. that's, th. that's, th. thi, thi, thi, that's, that's, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, thi. that's th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that you host with your wife which is I would argue the most intimate podcast you know partly because you host it from an actual bed yeah and partly just because it feels like we like know you as as a couple and then some people may know you from

writing books where the deer and the antelope play there are a few books I read that make me feel truly the essence of the person I feel like I went to the places th-in in in in in in.. the the the the the the the to. the the the to. the the the to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoe. I I I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the. I'm theaneaneanean. I'maughe. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. te. te. the. the. I'm. I'm the. I'm the. me feel truly the essence of the person. I feel like I went to the places that you went to in this book. Did you set out to do this for the book or did the book come from doing the journey? That's a great question. I mean it all kind of happened serendipitously, simultaneously, synchronistically, if that's I think that's an actual word. If you say it confidently enough people believe it. Synchronicidously. I had the idea for this book for several years. I knew that it would involve trying to

regurgitate sort of my interpretation and feelings about our relationship with nature for my readership. And I was talking about the book with Jeff Tweedy of Wilco, who's in the book, and we have this three-way bromance with him and George Saunders, the great fiction writer, and it was Jeff's idea. He said, why don't we go somewhere and walk and somewhere beautiful and you can use our conversations for your book. And I said, yes, Jeff Tweedy, my philosopher, poet, hero. That sounds fine to me. So I booked that trip.

And I mean, so I kind of knew, I wanted to go meet James Riebanks and his family in England and their shepherding operation for myself, but there's always in the back of my head, I'm like, oh, this actually might work its way into the book. And then I was writing the first two parts of the book when Megan and I ended up deciding to take this airstream trip. So eventually, the penny drops from, oh, this also fits into the book. So while I'm finishing up the first two-thirds,

I'm living the last third, and then it all, so it kind of comes organically. The stories that you tell in the book aren't just stories of travel. There's stories of history, the stories of life, the stories of, I think you connecting with the humanity of not just yourself, but like the the the the the the the their, I, I, I, I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, tho, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, tho, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, the, is, the, they, they, they, they, they, is.. they, they, is, they, they, is, they, they, they, they, they, they, the land that you live on. I think a lot of people will be surprised when they read this book because they'll go like, man, naked, it gets a little deep in some parts here. Like one minute you're in a forest and the next thing you're talking about the people

who are removed from this land or what this land actually means. I mean, I think one of the things I talk about in the book is is is is is is is thoes. back to our human conversations. Clearly you don't use Facebook. I don't actually I've never been on Facebook. This explains a lot about you. But when I'm for example hiking in a national park I can you know the first simple reaction is holy cow this beautiful pristine land untouched by human, wait a second. It was touched by people used to live here and we killed them or we removed them you know we... Right, right. We we chat on them one way or another and by we I mean the Europeans, the conquering people and that then it just musingly makes me think, we were always

kind of brought up to believe that to conquer something was positive. Like we're the victors that makes us heroes. But as I looked at it in this context, I was like, wait a second. I mean, all that really means is we killed them better than they were able to kill us. We don't want to acknowledge where things came

or how things came. we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we tho, we tho, we tho, we tho, we tho, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't want tho, tho, thi, thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiii. thiiiiiii. thii. thi. thi. thi, we don't want to consider the possibility that we are enjoying ill-gotten gains at any point. You're right. Which is also very understandable human behavior. I always open, when I tour as a humorist, or I write a book, I always try and open, that's why it says I'm ignorant on the cover of the book. Because what I'm saying is we're all thii will never understand all the information. No we won't. We're clumsy, farting mammals that are building skyscrapers. And so we're never going to do that perfectly.

We're never going to be like, well, there's our civilization, everybody's happy. And so knowing that we always have these deficits somewhere, let's maintain the attitude of a student and say, okay, what did we get right and what are we getting wrong and how can we shift towards getting more right? You're an amazing person to know. I think you write some of the most fantastic books. I appreciate having you on the show. And next time you go on a road trip, please tell me. I'll decline, but I would just like you to tell me, so that I could feel like I could come along.

Well, thank you. I will do that. And maybe, maybe I'll face-time you from the top of a mountain. I would love that. Just so I can feel like I was, I'll be like, oh yeah, well, man, that looks great. I wish I was there. I of a mountain, and I think it would be comforting to see your face just for a minute. I appreciate that, Nick, thank you. Thanks for having me. All right, people don't forget, Nick's book,

where the Deer and the Antelope play is available right now. And Colin in black and white, the brand new show that's gonna be playing Colin Kaplanick's father. Yeah, that's what I said. All right, we're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling. But that's all all thaaa-a-a-a-I I's thiiiiiiiiiiii-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ozy-a-ozy-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-n. tho-s. tho-o-o-o-o-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n. tho-n. tho-n. tho-n. tho-n. tho-n. thi-n. thi-n. thi-n. thi-n. thi-n. thi-n. thi-nnnnnnnnnni-ni-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thee-s. thease-s. thease-s. thease-sease-s. thea-sea-sease-s. thea-s. thea-s tho'-s the Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts.

Until tomorrow, stay safe out there. Get your vaccine. And remember, be nice to pigs. The next one you see could be your kidney donor, or your breakfast bacon, either way, be nice. Watch the Daily Show, weeknights at 11, 10th Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television.

Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts, starting September 17th. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.