The Daily Show: Ears Edition - The Daily Show's Bracket of Bulls**t - Pandemic Edition | Arsenio Hall

Episode Date: March 19, 2021

Trevor reports on COVID-19 concerns from around the world, Michael Kosta and Roy Wood Jr. introduce the Bracket of Bulls**t: Pandemic Edition, and Arsenio Hall discusses "Coming 2 America."In honor of Women's History Month, help level the playing field for girls of color in STEM by donating at dailyshow.com/BlackGirlsCode. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Go to AdS Manager. Paramount.com. That's ADS Manager. Paramount. to learn more. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to today. to to to to to to to tomorrow. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tomom. tomom. tomom. tom. tomom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tomorrow. tomorrow, today. today, today, today, today, today, today, today, tomorrow, today, today.e.e not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter.com. Slip Recruiters' smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, Zip Recruiters' powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use Zip Recruiter's pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and

encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter.com slash zip. Again, that's zip recruiter.com slash zip. Zip recruiter, the smartest way to hire. Hey, what's going on, everybody? I'm Trevor Noah, and this is the daily social distancing show. Today is Thursday, March 18th.

And I am so excited because that means this weekend is the first day of spring. th...... the the th. the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. th. th. th. th. th. thi. Zip. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thee. to to to theeeeee. to to to to the to the tip tip the thi. the. the the. the. am so excited because that means this weekend is the first day of spring and it's the Persian New Year! Nauruse which is the best new year ever because part of the celebration is that you have to jump over a fire which is so epic. This is gonna be my second year celebrating. Last year we did it for the first time but there was a slight misunderstanding we thought we jumped into the fire not over the fire. And long story short, rest in peace, Barry. NARUS, baby, we're back! Anyway, coming up on tonight's show, we fill out our pandemic bracket.

Biden and Putin are going to throw down off to school. And did you know coronavirus is also affecting other countries? Arsenio Hall is our guest. So let's do this, people. Welcome to the Daily Social Distancing Show. From Trevor's couch in New York City to your couch somewhere in the world. This is the Daily Social Distancing Show with Trevor Noah. Ears Edition. Let's kick things off with big news from the world of comic books. I mean comic books are the reason I'm so excited about the spiderbite.

Ooh, it burns so strong. One of the biggest superheroes in the world right now is Captain America. And now, after 80 years in the business, he's got a whole new vibe. Marvel will introduce a gay Captain America. Marvel released images of Aaron Fisher yesterday touting him as the first openly queer character in Captain America's 80 year history.

This is maybe my favorite most upsetting story of the dab mixed emotions about this is because it's just the country's going bananas. He is a gay Captain America complete with a nose ring. Tats when he takes off his skull cap there. He's got like a Mohawk thing, he's not very muscular. What would really be pushing the boundaries is that maybe they had a conservative superhero or a Trump-supporting superhero. Okay, okay, first of all, there already have been plenty of conservative superheroes, right?

They don't say it, but you can tell. Like, there's no way that billionaire Bruce Wayne supports taxing the rich. And Hawkeye, I mean, the guy lives on a farm in Iowa and has a proud boy's haircut. Come on! Wanda Maximoff? She wanted nothing more than to build a wall and take the country back to the 1950s, you don't need to say it. But there's probably a reason that there hasn't been a Trump supporting superhero.

I mean, how helpful would that guy be in a crisis? Dr. Doom is threatening to kill half a million Americans. What do we do? So what? That's basically the same as the flu. I say we ignore him, and it'll all go away magically. Personally, I think it's great to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the to be the the to be the to be the to be to be the to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th.. thef. thef. thef. threat. tr. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. the. the. the. th magically. Personally, I think it's great to see more LGBTQ representation in comics. Although, to be honest, I kind of thought Captain America already was gay. I mean, he's always telling women, oh no, I can't date you.

I have a girlfriend who lives in the 1940s. Still though, I'm sure just judging by the reactions, there's gonna be a certain type of guy who's gonna feel really awkward being saved by an openly theeeeeeegapapeeeeeeguuuuuuuuuu. to to to to to to to be to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be toe ge Ggbetbety to be toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to be to be the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee toe toe toe toe toe G.egb-a toeg. toe toe judging by the reactions, there's going to be a certain type of guy who's going to feel really awkward being saved by an openly gay superhero. Grab my hand before you fall off of this cliff. Oh, okay, but no homo. And speaking of people who are uncomfortable with gay superheroes, I love that news anchor complaining that the new Captain America isn't muscular enough. That's a strange. I mean, I don't want to see the their their their their their to see their to see to see to see their to see to see to see to see to see to see to see their to see to see their to see to see their to see their to the new Captain America isn't muscular enough. That's strange. I mean, I don't want to see gay dudes in my comics, but if they're gonna be there, I should at least be turned on, just a little.

You know what I mean? But let's move on from superheroes to the world's biggest real-life supervillain, Vladimir Putin, a newly declassified intelligence report, that Putin personally directed Russian meddling in the 2020 presidential election. And President Joseph Robertasson Biden isn't happy about it. In our world lead a threat from President Biden to Russian leader Vladimir Putin on interfering in the 2020 election.

He will pay a price. We had a long talk, he and I... So you know Vladimir Putin, you think he's a killer? I do. So what price must he pay? The price he's going to pay, well, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll th. We'll th. We'll th. thi. to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. And, thi. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, to. And, thi. And, to. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, toei. toooi. toei. And, thi. And, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. And, thi. killer? Mm-hmm. I do. So what price must he pay? The price he's going to pay, well, you'll see shortly. President Putin himself has been asked about his response to Joe Biden's kind of affirmation that he thinks that President Putin's a killer.

I wish him good health, and I'm not joking, I mean it. But when we judge people or other nations, we look ourselves there. When I was a child and we had arguments in the courtyard, we were saying it takes one to no one and it's not just the children's saying, the meaning is very deep. Putin is right. Children's sayings still have a lot of important wisdom for us as adults. That's why I still get my yearly boosters for my kudy shot. I mean if a girl ever touches me I'm all set. But it is funny but it is funny that Putin that Putin that Putin that Putin that Putin thuuuu th is funny that Putin thu-a thu-a thu-a thu-a thu-a thu-a thu-a-a-a-a-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-i the the thu-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thu-s thu-s th-s. te. tearned tea-m-m-mu-maii-m-mu-m-maii-m-m-m-m-m-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-s. tea a girl ever touches me, I'm all set. But it is funny that Putin has to clarify that he's not joking when he wishes Biden good health, because let's face it, the man has killed so many people, everyone always just assumes that that's what he means. I wouldn't be shocked if this causes a ton of problems for him.

President Putin, your cousin is here. What would you like me to do? Ah, please, take care of him, Boris. Understood, sir. No, no, no, Boris, I mean, show him a good time. Ah, I know what you mean. No, no, I mean, like, you know, take him to concert or something. Ah, yes. Performance in the sky, right away.

No, no, I'm saying like, maybe, you know what, just kill him. Maybe, you know what, just kill him. This is taking too much of my time. But clearly, people, this exchange is the beginning of a much more confrontational relationship between America and Russia. And that's going to be tricky. Because on the one hand, Joe Biden is probably right to call out Vladimir Putin's aggression. But on the other hand, I'm pretty sure that Vladimir Putin has all of my passwords. So I think he's doing a great job.

Now, while Biden is fending off Putin, he's also dealing with a crisis closer to home at the Mexican border. Because even though Biden ended some of Trump's cruel immigration policies and is trying to return children who Trump separated from their families, that has not been enough to end the suffering. President Biden urging migrants not to make the journey to the U.S. as the White House works to get a handle on the surge at the southern border.

Nearly 4,300 unaccompanied children were in border patrol custody as of Sunday afternoon, according to data obtained by NBC News. The new figures are a record high. Nearly 3,000 of those children have been in custody over the 72-hour legal limit. In an interview with ABC News, the president pushing back on criticism, migrants are crossing in such large numbers because he has reversed several Trump-era immigration policies. The idea that Joe Biden said come because I heard the other day that they're they're coming because they know I'm a nice guy. Well, here's the deal. They're not. Do you have to say, to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. the the the the the their. the the their. their. the the the their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the other day that they're coming because they know I'm a nice guy. Well, here's the deal. They're not.

Do you have to say quite clearly don't come? Yes, I can say quite clearly don't come. Don't leave your town or city or community. Hmm. Okay, that's worth a shot, I guess. But the phrase, don't come, isn't going to prevent immigration any more than it prevented pregnancy on Bridgeton. Because Biden is still being way more welcoming than people are used to.

I mean, don't come is basically an engraved invitation compared to you shihold country, rapists, need to pay for our wall. But that's right. Border crossings are surging right now. And the part that's causing the most concern is what to do with the unaccompanied children. Because under Trump, they would just be sent back to terrible migrant camps in Mexico. Biden, on the other hand, wants to send them

through the asylum process in the US. But the problem is, the system is too entertainment camps here. And please, let's not forget to have empathy for these migrants, because who can blame parents for wanting to give their children a better life? I mean, there's just so many more opportunities for them in America. I mean, think about it. Blue Ivy just won a Grammy. Who wouldn't want that for their child? And let's move on now to our main story. The coronavirus vaccine vaccine vaccine v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v. the vaccine, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, aka the thing you're pretty sure your friend

lied to get. Although the vaccine rollout has been going fairly well in the United States, that has not been true everywhere else in the world. But why? Well let's find out in another episode of Keeping Up with Corona, International Edition. edition. Let's begin with the situation in Europe, the Baskin Robbins of white people. The continent never really got the pandemic under control and now it's struggling with vaccinations. While 22% of Americans have gotten at least one shot in most countries in Europe, that number is only 8%. Honestly, it's been surprising to see Europe struggle so much. I mean, this is Europe. The most sophisticated place on earth. They have Denmark!

They should be crushing this. But they're not. And now a controversy over one of their vaccines is only making things worse. Over in Europe, they are not facing good news. The continent is facing a third wave of the COVID pandemic, as at least five countries have now suspended using the AstraZeneca vaccine. More than a dozen countries have halted the use of the vaccine, including Germany, France and Italy as a precautionary measure. But regulators here insist there is no link between the Oxford Astrazenecaica vaccine and a higher incidence of blood clots.

Astrzeneca says a review of 17 million people here in the UK and in Europe who've received the vaccine found less than 40 developed blood clots in their words even lower than you'd expect to find in the general population. Just 37 cases in 17 million vaccinations, leaving many wondering why stop the entire program. Okay look, I understand being safe. I totally understand being safe, but at the same time these blood clots are affecting 0.0202% of people. So you might as well be worried that lightning is going to strike the metal of the needle as you're getting the vaccine. And it's crazy that frowne the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the entire pra the entire pra the entire pra the entire pra the entire pro the entire pro the entire pro the entire program the entire pro the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the entire the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the entire the entire the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the lightning is going to strike the metal of the needle

as you're getting the vaccine. And it's crazy that France, of all the countries, is stopping the vaccine because of health side effects? I mean, their national fruit is the cigarette. So a lot of people do think that Europe is overreacting. And I'll be honest, I think I know what the problem is. It's because European scientists are explaining the side effects in a normal tone of voice. You see, if you want side effects to sound less scary,

you've got to list them super fast while a fungus dances on our toes. It's also important to remember that not all side effects are the same. There are side effects that are more dangerous than the they're fighting. Those are the worst. And then there are side effects that are serious but are worth the risk. And then, I mean, then there are side effects that are just funny, you know, like diarrhea and boners that won't go away. So doctors have to keep that in mind. But let's move on to Africa, the world's biggest country. Because while Europe's vaccines are sitting unused in the back of the fridge. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, the. the. their, thi. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. And, thi. And, thea. And, thea. And, thea. And, thea. And, thea. And, thea. And, thea. And, their, their, the fridge, many poorer countries have been waiting a long time to get any vaccines at all. We are experiencing Aiman a massively uneven vaccine rollout across the world.

Only one of the top 40 countries in the world for vaccine rollout is in Africa. Touching down in Nairobi. COVID-19 vaccinations arrive in Kenya for the very first time. Kenya received its initial shipment of just over 1 million doses as part of the Kovacs program, an initiative backed by the World Health Organization aimed at reducing vaccine inequality. In addition to Ghana and Kenya, Rwanda, Senegal and the Ivory Coast are among countries to recently receive low-cost or free vaccines through Kovacs. But it comes after a long wait-in. to to to to to to to to thiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their their their their their thi, thi, thi, their thi, their, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. Ki. Ki. Ki. Ki. Ki. Ki. Ki. thi. Knew. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiauia. tttttogui. tttogui, thi. thi. thi. thi receive low cost or free vaccines through Kovacs, but it comes after a long wait, far behind wealthier

nations that can pay full price. It took us 83 days from the first jab in the UK to the first jab in Africa. God damn, 83 days? That's like two viewings of the Snyder Cut. Look, the world needs to do a better job of getting vaccines to developing nations because don't forget, if you let coronavirus fester in one place for long enough, it's going to mutate and it's going to come back even stronger where you live. It happens all the time. When Ebola first got to Africa, it was just a stubbed toe. And what's especially frustrating about this is that there are so many people in places like America who can get the vaccine, and they just don't want it. I feel like what they should do is make an exchange program

where Africans get to swap countries with anti-vaxes. Vax swap only on Paramount Plus. Now, while it's true that right now, there aren't enough vaccine doses to go around to every country, there actually is a solution to that. Give pharmaceutical companies in developing nations the vaccine recipes, and let them make their own.

But so far, countries that have those recipes are going full-on opermine. The United States and other wealthy members of the World Trade Organization have blocked a proposal to waive intellectual property rights related to COVID vaccines. South Africa and India had pushed the proposal as part of an attempt to increase the availability of vaccines in poorer countries. Both the United States and the European Union want to uphold patents on the basis that they encourage companies to invest in research and innovation. This drug maker, just a few hours from the Bangladesh Capital, produces a lot of different

vaccines. But the one at Cartier produce is the most in demand for COVID-19. The manufacturer says it has plenty of spare capacity, and it could produce between 600 to 800 million coronavirus vaccines a year if it got a license. Wait, hold up. The entire planet could get millions more vaccine doses a year, if they just waived the patents on the vaccines,

but the US and the European Union don't want to? So you're going to tell me that Africa is expected to share our vibranium, but we can't get their vaccines? Well, that's real fair. Now, look, I do understand where drug companies are coming from on this? I mean, if Nani Indira wants a vaccine, then Nani thirir can design and d'a can't thira can design thira can design and distribute her own vaccine. It's called personal responsibility. And people are saying, this is a global pandemic. Doesn't Nani's life matter more than the share price of Pfizer? All right, fine, let's compromise then.

Pfizer should just give Nanny some stock options. That way, everyone who's left alive makes money. But it turns out, not every country in Africa is desperate to get the vaccine. In fact, the country of Tanzania hasn't even been trying to get it mostly because President John Magufuli claimed that COVID-19 isn't even real. Although he might be changing his mind now. The president of Tanzania, John Magafooly, has died. He was a prominent COVID-19 skeptic and had not been seen in public since the end of

February. In all this government, no one wears a mask, including me. It proves that there is no coronavirus and God loves this nation. President Magifuli was more than a coronavirus skeptic. His government stopped sharing data with the World Health Organization last year and declared Tanzania COVID-free through divine intervention. He displayed a disregard for health advice, focusing on prayer and local remedies,

while also claiming the vaccines were dangerous. There were sources within Tanzania that he was very sick with COVID-19. That, of course, is not confirmed, but given all the circumstances that play, and the secrecy with which which which which which which which which the government which the government which the government which the government which the government which the government which the government which the government which the government the government the government the government the government the government the government the government the government the government the government the government the government the government the government the government the government the government the government the government the government the government the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thau.eau.c, tau.au.c.c, tau.c.c.eau.c.c.c.ea.c.ea.c. ta. the circumstances that play and the secrecy with which the government did its business, many people are skeptical that in fact it was only a heart condition that led to his death. What have I been telling you guys from the beginning? The biggest risk factor of Corona is disrespecting Corona. Anytime somebody says this virus is no big deal? Corona is like, okay, okay, oh, okay, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the government the government the government the government with the the government with the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the government the the the the the the the the the government the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th thecocea.cocea.cocea.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.e Corona. Anytime somebody says this virus is no big deal, Corona's like, okay, okay, okay, okay, it's gonna be like

that, huh? Okay, then two weeks later it's fisting your lungs. Who's the hoax now? Huh, huh? This is real enough for you? And look, I know it's easy to shit on the African country with the strongman leader who doesn't believe in science, but please don't forget. America also had a COVID-denying president who got COVID. The only difference is America had the elite medical teams with experimental drugs to keep its dumb president alive. So that's what's happening with the vaccine rollout across the globe. And even though things are going well in the United States, Americans unfortunately do need to pay attention to the world. Because you see as long as the virus is is the virus is the virus is the virus is the virus is the virus is the virus is the virus the virus is the virus the virus is the virus the virus the virus is the virus is the virus is the virus is the virus is the virus is the virus is the virus is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thiiii. thi. thi. thi. thiii. thii. thiii. thiii. theeea. thi. thia. thia. thia. the the the the the United States, Americans unfortunately do need to pay attention to

the world. Because you see, as long as the virus is still out there, it can always come back here. Because no country is an island, except for Iceland and the UK. And all the Caribbean countries, I guess. Sorry, other than that, but you know what I mean? No country is an island. All right, when we come back, Madagascar. Madagascar is also an Tonga?

Brunei, is that a country? Brunei maybe as well. Sorry. All right, when we come back, we've got, oh, Australia. Oh, continent is an island? When is it? the island? the island? the island? the island? the island? the island? the island? the island? the island? the island? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No, thi? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No. No? No? No? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, I. No, I. No, I. No, I. No, I. No, I. No, I. No, I. No, I. No, I. No, I. No, no, no, no, no, thiii. well. Sorry. All right, when we come back, we've got, oh, Australia. Oh, a continent or an island? When do you come back, we've got an exciting new tournament bracket that you're gonna wanna fill out. And our Sineo Hall joins us on the show, so don't go away.

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Ditch the other hiring sites, and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack, th, th, th, th, th, t, th, t, th, t, th, th, th, t, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and, th, th, th, and, thi, the, th, to, and, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the ttoglip, toguu. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. togu. ttoguu. to to to to to to to to to to to tho, to needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address, zip recruiter.com slash zip. Again that zip recruiter.com slash zip. Zip recruiter, the smartest way to hire. It's been said that nice skies finish last. But is that really true? I'm Tim Harford, host of The Cautionary Tales podcast, and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. We'll travel from New York to Tahiti to India on a quest to learn how to succeed

without being a jerk. We'll examine stories of villains undone by their villainy and monstrous self-devaring egos, and we'll delve into the extraordinary power of decency. We'll face mutiny on the vast Pacific Ocean, blaze a trail with a pioneering skyscraper, and dare to confront a formidable empire. The Art of Fairness on Cautionary Tales.

Listen on the IHart Radio App, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible.

I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17. Welcome back to the Daily Social Distancing Show. We are now in the month of March. Again. Or still? Either way, it's hard to keep track.

And since it's March, it's time once again to fill out your bracket. And no, I'm not talking about college basketball brackets. I'm talking about your daily show, bracket of bullshit, pandemic edition. Because I know most of last year was terrible, but some of it was just annoying and dumb. So we've put together a tournament to choose which trivial annoyance bugged you the most. And here to break it all th all th all th all th all th th th the th to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to to their to you the most. And here to break it all down is Michael Costa and Roywood Jr.

What's going on, everybody? I'm Roy Wood Jr. I'm Michael Costa, man, oh man, Roy did this pandemic year come with some annoying-ass bullshit. It sure did, Costa. My blood is boiling just thinking about all that irritating coronavirus poppycock. Poppy cock. Yeah man my kids in the other room he doesn't have headphones I can't be dropping S-bombs all over the place. Suit yourself, F-ed-head. Let's jump into the bracket. This year our 64 biggest annoyances are divided into four regions at home, safety, social, and news and entertainment. I gotta begin with at home, because that's where we've got some of the stuff that

annoy me the most, like being forced to cook. Dude, I'm so sick of cooking. I never wanted to know the difference between the chef's knife and a parry knife. You're still using knives, Roy? I gave up on utensils back in November. Now I eat steak with the stakeake steak stak steak steak steak steak steak shit. Respect, respect. Here's a contender I'm really sick of, taking walks. Don't get me started on walks. All I do is walk. Walk. Walk, walk. At this point, my shoes are more worn out than Obama after his second term. I've walked around the same block so many times.

My neighbors called the cops on me and I'm white. Another hopeful. Another hopeful. Another hopeful. Another hopeful the hope the hope the hope. the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. th. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. white. Another hopeful in the bracket that pisses me off? Quarantine's! Even the word itself is annoying. Makes me want to slap my own mouth. Okay, Roy, but isn't this just people trying to make their drinking seem cute? Putting teeny at the end of a word doesn't make you any less of an alcoholic. Oh, what's this? Oh, it's my lunch break teeny. Oh, and this, it's my parent-teacher conference teeny. Call it what it is. Drink it alone in front of your laptop.

Roy, and there's nothing wrong with that, man. Our next pain in the butt category. Pandemic safety. And you can't talk about safety without talking about masks. They're saving lives, but they're still annoying thin And what's the most annoying thing about them? Well you've got mask me, you've got the tight ear loops and as I like to call them the under the nose broes. Hell yeah! Mask under the nose is bringing the heat. What's with these people? You got to cover the mouth and the nostrils. Same as if you're trying to smother somebody with the pillow. I've been watching a lot of their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I the under. I the under. I the under. I the under. I the under. I the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. I like. I like. I the. our next category. News and entertainment. Lots to be annoyed with here, but I think that movies getting delayed could go all the way.

Bro, you may be right, I spent years waiting for a Black James Bond. Now, I'll just settle for any bond I can get. Give me Daniel Craig, Pierce Brosnan, hell. That's interesting. They could call it live and get high. Yeah, I was thinking high another day. That works too. But here's something else that's pioed a lot of people this last year, having to root for Big Pharma.

Ooh, that one stings, man. Big Pharma is supposed to be the bad guy. Now everybody's treating Johnson and Johnson like it's DeWane the Rock Johnson. You know, sure we love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love we have we love we have we love we have we love we love we love we love we have we love we love we love they they love we love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they they they the the the the the the the the th th th. We th. We that we that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their. that's their. their we their we their we their we their their their their their the the. the the. the the. the the the the the the. the. the. the the. that's that's that's th. that's, sure, we love them now, but as soon as I get my vaccine, I'm gonna be going right back to hating them again. Until I need my booster, after that, they can go f-fee themselves. You know what I think is gonna be hard to beat, though? Say it with me, Kaster.

Okay. Kim Kardashian her 40th birthday was bigger than mine and mine was before the pandemic. You had a 40th birthday party? I'm sorry brother. We got a bad connection. Yeah, I'll say. Speaking of connecting, let's hit up our fourth and final category, everything social. An MVP coming in hot, face timing with your parents. My mom still doesn't have the hang of it. I've seen so much of her forehead. I could do a ice sculpture of it blindfolded.

Just be glad she's in the frame at all. I just spent two hours talking to my mom's ceiling fan. I think a key player in this category is going to be thriving friends. Y'all know who these people are. All those annoying people posted about how great they're doing. Yeah, I don't need to see a 20-minute video of you mastering the crow pose or of your juice cleanse journey. At this point, I know so much about my cousin Dave's colon. I could be as proctologist.

And it's not a real pandemic bracket if Zoom didn't get in the game. We got funny Zoom background, Zoom parties, Zoom time limits. Who are you to limit my time, Zoom? What's next? I only get 40 minutes in the bathroom, too? I hate, hate that time limit. I could go off on this all day. I mean, for one reason, this is.

Oh, looks, I, this is. Oh, looks like I forgot to upgrade to the business version. My bad guys. Anyway, the Daily Show Bracket of Bullshit Pandemic Edition is live right now. So go to Daily Show bracket.com and start voting and find out if everyone else was as annoyed by the same things as you were. When we come back, the man himself, Arsenio Hall, will be joining me on the show, you don't want to miss it. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

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the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address, Zip Recruiter.com slash zip. Zip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire. It's been said that Nye Skies Finish Last. But is that really true? I'm Tim Harford, host of The Cautionary Tales podcast, and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. We'll travel from New York to Tahiti to India on a quest to learn how to succeed without being a jerk.

We'll examine stories of villains undone by their villainy and monstrous self-devaring egos, and we'll delve into the extraordinary power of decency. We'll face mutiny on the vast Pacific Ocean, blaze a trail with a pioneering skyscraper, and dare to confront a formidable empire. The art of fairness on cautionary tales. Listen on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Welcome back to the Daily Social Distancing Show. Earlier today, I spoke with legendary comedian and actor Arsenio Hall. We talked about what it was like being the first black late night talk show host in America and making the sequel to Coming to America. Arsenio Hall, welcome to the Daily Social Distancing Show. Thank you, man. I watch you, so it's kind of, I'm trying to be cool. It's kind of exciting. Oh, please. Oh, please. What are you talking about? I love what you're doing, Trevor. You're smart, you're funny. By the way, the Grammys, I watched the Grammys twice, bro.

Thank you, Matt. First of all, congratulations. Coming to America, the biggest movie in America right now, Amazon says it was so successful, they thought that their servers were breaking. That is how successful the movie has been. You came back. The cost came back. New additions came back, the cost came back, new additions came back, but I mean, I know what I was looking forward to

was seeing that magical combo again, Eddie and Arsenio, looking forward to seeing the preacher. I was looking forward to see the new character. I loved, I loved that little new character that you had there. That was, yeah, that was pretty amazing. I was just like, is that Arsenio? I was, you, my man, congratulations. Yeah, it was a lot of fun and I love having a movie that I mean compared to Kim Kardashian's ass, you know, I mean, because that's the last time I saw some get broken.

That's the last time the internet got broken. Yes, yes, and we got close to Kim's ass. We got close. We didn't break it, but we got close. My friend, it's been such a success and you can see why. I want to talk to you about the journey that you've been on, you know, yourself and Eddie, the journey of coming to America. I mean, this is, you know, now it seems like an obvious concept because it's been done. But coming th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the the th. their, their, their, their, th. their, their, their, th. th. th. th. thi. thi, th. th. thi, thi, their, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, their. It's, it's, their. It's, their. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it's, it. It's, it. It's, it's, it's the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. But coming to America was one of the craziest ideas for a movie and the way you guys executed was double-creating. No one was just playing all of the characters during that time. When you were thinking of this together, when you and Eddie were talking about it, did you think it would work or was it one of those where you're like, let's do this crazy thing and just have fun. Well, you know, initially when Eddie brought me the concept and was reading a pad, you don't see that anymore, but he's reading off a yellow legal pad, and it's just a fish out of water movie

about two guys who come to America, and Eddie was going through some personal stuff then, where he said, you know, I meet women, and they know I'm Eddie Murphy and they know I got paper, we didn't use the term paper back then. But I sometimes worry that they don't accept me, for me, horrible situations where I know they're not accepting me for who I am. I wish I could go someplace and people not know who I was. And that was where that movie started. And everybody loves Eddie's characters and they wanted him to play characters and you guys will be some of the people you meet when you come to America. That set it off and

took it to another place. The first time I watched coming to America, I remember the credits playing at the end and then they started putting up all the people. And I expected the Eddie thing. I genuinely did because I was Eddie, I thought there was no joke. Every time a character was you, I was like, no, no, no, how? No, you have an ability. But at some point, did you say, he's even that bitch in the red dress? Did you say right? You have the ability to transform completely.

Eddie was supposed to do that witch doctor, Shaman character. And he found out, he looked at it was th. How th. How th. How th. that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that was. that was. that was. that was that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was that was a that was a that was a that was a that was a that was a that was a th. th. th. th. thooooooe. th. th. th. thooooooooooo. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to do that witch doctor, shaman character, Krava. And he found out, he looked at the models, and he found out it was a six and a half hour makeup job. And he was like, he didn't tell me at first. He said, bro, you know what, I think you'd be better for the witch doctor. And I'm like, maybe he said, he gave me all that bullshit. Yeah, there's something about tha that, he's that, he's that, he's that, he's that, you just gave you yeah you there's something about you in the prosthetics when you go under man you go deep into it you know I

think this was for you and I found out as he didn't want to do it I love it man you you the two of you have had an interesting connection your entire lives and and I love how your connection came the fact that back in back when you were doing comedy there was so few black comedians who are on the scene. And why I'm so interested in that is because of what I do. Arsenio Hall is literally part of the reason that I sit here today.

I remember watching your show on TV and South Africa. And all of a sudden, there was just like an influx of black people on a late night TV show. And it wasn't just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just the the the the the the thethe biggest show at the time. You were breaking every possible barrier, giving people opportunities that never had gotten opportunities. I mean you know Mariah Carey's debut on television, Arsenio Hall, Usher Raymond, Arsenio Hall. You know, just, I mean the list is endless. I mean you had everybody on from Michael Jackson to Prince, you know, you you had Magic Johnson on after he had revealed his HIV status he came the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, their, th, their, th, th, th, th, th, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, tha, tod, tod, today, toge, and togu, and togu, and togu, and togy, togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. to Prince, you know, you had Magic Johnson on after he had revealed his HIV status, he came on Arsenio Hall.

That time and that legacy is so interesting to me for two reasons. One, because you broke what existed, but also, because you started a journey that then it seems like Hollywood just stopped doing after you stopped doing the show. You were, you were bringing women on board as executive producers. You were bringing black people on as writers who never got opportunity. You made an inclusive staff.

What do you think happened that that just didn't carry on after you left and every other show that got made? Well, wow, I don't know if I'm aware of that totally, but that's nice to hear. And maybe we got too comfortable. Because sometimes, you you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that, that's, that's, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thatotally. But that's nice to hear. And maybe we got too comfortable. Because sometimes when things aren't right, you fight for things, you battle. I remember asking for an intern program

when I first got my gig. I did that, when I tried to raid the writers' rooms of the other shows, there were no black writers. That's the first intern was thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii and I thi and I thi and I writers. That's the first thing I know. And I'm so proud. My first intern was John Singleton who went on to win an Oscar, you know, and a lot of wonderful writers and interns came through there. So I fought a lot because I felt we didn't have what we needed. I remember watching some of the other shows, and you could wait a month and not see a black person. You know, when I was growing up in Cleveland,

you know, you would spread the word around and say, hey, I hear Al Green gonna be on the tonight show next month, you know, it was a big thing, you know, so I wanted to bring more faces. And like you said, more women, my whole staff, the important ones were all females. I, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th, than, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, that, that, that, that, that, the, that, the, the important ones, were all females. You know, I shouldn't say that. I'll get in trouble for that. But, but basically, I saw a need and I tried to fill those needs. I think once we get comfortable, we stop pushing.

And also keep in mind, the pie has been spreaded in a different way now. We're in a situation now where between the internet, and I mean, everything from Sound Cloud to Instagram, to to to to to to to to the the the to the the to the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the internet and I mean everything from SoundCloud to Instagram, you don't have to come one or two places anymore. Right, right, right. To show the world what you do. You achieved a lot of these things when you were so young. You were young. Do you sometimes like regret the fact that you were that young when it was happening or did you feel that you guys had level heads even though you were that young? Because most people wouldn't survive being that famous in their early 20s.

Yeah, I had a great time and I think everything happens for a reason. I believe strongly in God's plan. If I had that schedule now, like Trevor, just sitting here looking at your dimples tires me out. You know, so back in the day, I had all the energy and the enthusiasm and the dream and now I love being the old head who sits and talks about it and looks for my next gig here and there. Right. What is up next for Arsenio Hall? Because I mean I feel like you could do anything. The acting bug bit me man. I've been out doing stand up and doing a lot of things. Yeah. But I hadn't acted in a while. And I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I the the th, I'm the th, I'm the the th. And, I'm th. And, I'm th. And, I'm the the the thi, I'm the the the the the the the the their, and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the. te an ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. tia. tia. ti. ti. ti. ti.'ve been out doing stand-up and doing a lot of things, but I hadn't acted in a while.

And that's where I'm headed next. I want to act more. So when you do your life story, let me play your cousin, Squeee. Whatever his name is. Oh man, I feel like you could, after seeing you play the characters you played, I genuinely believe, you could play any, I'll cost the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the to to the the to to the to to to act to act to to act to to act the the the to act, to act, to act to act to act to act, I'm to act, I'm, I'm, th. their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th.......... the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. threate. threaten, I, I'm, I'm threaten, I'm, threathea. threathea. threathea, I'm, I'm, I'm, threathea. threaten, threaten, threaten, after seeing you play the characters you played, I genuinely believe you could play any, I'll cost you as my uncle, we put a few prosthetics in there and I think you got the gig. Arsenio man, I could talk to you forever and I congratulate you man. Thank you for everything you've done.

Not just in the movies but behind the scenes in the industry. Thank you for being a mentor, thank you for being a friend, you know, thank you for putting everybody on, because that's what you did, you put everybody on, which you didn't have to do. I appreciate you, look off to yourself, and we'll see you in the next movie, my friend. God bless you, tell you soon. Thank you so much, my dude. Don't forget, coming to America is available now on Amazon Prime Video. All right, we're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this.

It's been said that Nye Skies finished last. But is that really true? I'm Tim Harford, host of The Cautionary Tales podcast, and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. We'll travel from New York to Tahiti to India on a quest to learn how to succeed without being a jerk. We'll examine stories of villains undone by their villainy and monstrous self-devaring egos and will delve into the extraordinary power of decency.

We'll face mutiny on the vast Pacific Ocean, blaze a trail with a pioneering skyscraper, and dare to confront a formidable empire. The art of fairness on cautionary tales. Listen on the Iheart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change.

Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17. Well, that's our show for tonight. But before we go, it is Women's History Month, so please consider supporting Black Girls Code. An organization dedicated to leveling the playing field for girls-color in STEM. It is Women's History Month, so please consider supporting Black Girls' Code, an organization

dedicated to leveling the playing field for girls of color in STEM. By supporting Black Girls' Code, you're helping empower young girls to change their lives using technology and change all of our lives as well for the better. If you can help out, go to the link below and donate whatever you can. Until tomorrow, stay safe out there, wear a mask, and remember, as the great children's philosopher once said, would you like a Hurt's donut? Ha ha! Hurt's donut! The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11,

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and over 15 major networks with hitshows, movies, sports and more, all on the biggest screen in the house. Put your business and show business with Paramount.com. Go to Ads Manager.param. dot.com to learn more. Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last. I'm Tim Harford, host of the Cautionary Tales podcast, and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. From New York to Tahiti, will examine villains undone by their villainy. Monstrous, self-devaring egos, and accounts of the extraordinary power of decency. Listen on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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