The Daily Show: Ears Edition - The Precap | Jordan Klepper on the Oscars, War with Iran, and the Manliness of Ill-Fitting Shoes

Episode Date: March 16, 2026

This week's host Jordan Klepper sits down with Daily Show writer Devin Delliquanti to recap the latest news, and preview the week to come. They weigh in on the results of the Academy Awards, the escalating war in Iran, and the growing MAGA civil war over going to war at all. They unpack the newest Republican fashion trends, from Trump's disrespectful baseball cap at the dignified transfer of American soldiers, to the cabinet's new ill-fitting Trump supplied shoes. Looking ahead, they preview what's to come with the war, the optics of the Irish PM visiting on St. Patrick's day, and the confirmation of Markwayne Mullin, the man so nice they named him twice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm not an astronaut. I don't need an astronaut. Audiences have spoken. Project Hail Mary is an awe-inspiring masterpiece. So, I met an alien. If you've fallen out of love with going to the movies, this one will bring you back. Daniel!

Ryan Gosling, in the first must-see movie of 2026. Project Hail Mary. Only in Peters Friday. You're listening to Comment. Central. We're in a room that clearly has no windows. Yeah. It's been insulated for sound, and yet we have plants.

Yeah. It's sort of a fuck you to our audience and the intelligence we assume them to have. Don't you're letting them behind the curtain. Never. Don't do that. I would like to imagine that we had real planted here at one point. They kept dying and nobody could figure it out. Why are they doing dead plants at a podcast just surrounded by vegetate, wilted vegetation? This is a brandy thing.

I think we're attempting a between one FICA's. Hello and welcome to the pre-cap, a daily show podcast, where we sit down with this week's host to recap some of the latest news and preview what's coming. It's a recap and a preview. A pre-capped. You guys get it. You get it.

You know what? I think I'm now putting it together. Yeah. Because I had questions about whether you could pre-cap something. You get it now? Now I get it. But we're previewing what is going to happen. We're opening minds over here.

We're recapping what has already happened. It's a recap, but before. Right. We're previewing how we're going to look back on things. Preview, but after. This is all so confusing. Yes. Why do we have to do so much content?

That's it. We have to. Oh, my God. That's it. Well, while Jordan Spirals, my name is Devondella Quanty. I'm a writer at the show, and I am joined today by your host this week. The having an existential crisis, Mr. Jordan Klepper. Oh, my gosh.

We're just creating things. of nothing just because we have to fill the void. Does your void feel filled? This is, see, that, Devin, this is, no, it still feels empty. Really? I just, all we do is create content, and yet there's still an emptiness there. It's just a cup that is a hole in the bottom. That's it.

We better keep pouring, man. Okay, okay, I guess, all right, get another bottle of water in here. Let's just, let's go. Let's keep it going down. All right. So let's start with what we missed over last week. We were not making shows last week. We had, there's been a lot going on in the news.

the most fun thing of which I would say is the Academy Awards. Shocker, I did not win an Academy Award this year. I'm so sorry. And I, again, I blame the casting directors for having no interest in me being a part of any of the projects that they were a part of. Yeah. So yet again, it's on you casting directors. You could have had this.

Instead, you had all of the talented filmmakers. You could have. Can I say? You would have been a great vampire in sinners. I would have been. Yeah. Yes. I think like I've, I think I've been an imposing, an imposing,

vampiric figure for quite some time. Sure. A guy not invited to a cool party? That sounds awesome. I've been prepping for that role for years. And nothing. The guy nobody wants, was begging to be let into a cool party. I like your music. Can I come in? Please, please.

No. No, I would have nailed it. No, I'm sorry. Shoot. I'm so sorry. So, did you watch the Oscars? I did watch the Oscars. And what did you think? I enjoyed the Oscars. I primarily see films with people who are on our show. So if you wanted to see your film, you have to come on our show.

It's a fair tread. I watch a lot of, I have a kid at home, so we watch a lot of the animated films, and then we watch a lot of the films of the people are on the show. Great movies this year. Yeah. I was a big fan of one battle after another,

so I was glad that got some love. Best picture love. Best picture love. That's cool to see. Joaquin Treer, we interviewed him on the show a super, super talent. Director of Sentimental Value. Yep.

Walked home with an Oscar, or drove home. I don't know. Not a lot about the transportation. Hopefully not listening to this while he's driving home. I texted him. I was like, how are you getting home? home. I'm just worried about you guys. Haven't heard back. And I saw

Bagonia recently, and I thought that movie was awesome. Didn't get any love. Another film we had on the show, a filmmaker we had on the show, The Alabama Solution. Did not win Best Doc. I was rooting for that. But all in all, I think Hollywood fellated itself. So success? Yes, always a success. That's very good. I'm just glad they get to do it. Emmy winner, Jordan Clepper says Hollywood. To be clear. I look forward to Hollywood philating itself. Sure.

I'm, if you're out there, I'm flexible. I've been stretching. So when the Emmy nominations come on out, I'll head out to Los Angeles, swallow any and all esoteric pride that I have, and beg, beg for recognition. Another party you're on the outside of asking to be invited in. Very good. Please, Michael and be Jordan. Say yes.

Let me come over there and talk to you. That would be great. A couple of the things I wanted to mention about the Oscars. I thought it was very cool. Paul Thomas Anderson and Ryan Cougler both won their first Oscars within like three minutes of each other. I was a very great moment both and for

original screenplay and adapted screenplay. That was cool to see. Yeah, and also Sean Penn won for Best Supporting Actor for his role in one battle after another, was not there. Where do you think he was? Well, here's a good question. The New York Times reported after he skipped the proceedings on Sunday and headed to Europe where his plan as of late last week was to visit Ukraine. So Sean Penn, the place

if I was putting money on it, Sean Penn, the least likely place on earth would be the Oscars. Everywhere else, like, Sean Penn would be like Sean Penn could not be to accept his award. He is tunneling out of prison with El Chapo. Sean Penn is not here. He has, oh, he is freed Luigi. Has anybody checked on Luigi? Luigi is now free. Luigi and Sean Penn are on the run. He could not be here to accept his Oscar. Sean Penn has broken into a New York public school and is escorting the children into a nearby Montessori school. Sean Penn.

Sean Penn could not be here. He is Nicholas Maduro's lawyer, and they had to be in court. John Penn is breaking the animals out of the zoo, setting them free upon a town near you. Sean Penn could not be here. He is single-handedly getting the tariffs off of the penguins. John Penn is fixing the war in Iran right now. Is he not?

No, Ukraine. Different war. So he's working on that one. Then he'll move over to the Strait of Hormuz. He's very busy. The funny thing is, If you've seen one battle after another, I was picturing Sean Penn walking towards the frontlight of Ukraine the way he walks in one battle after another. We're doing a shoulder shimmy if you're listening to the podcast.

It's a real shoulder shimmy. He walked with gristle. I don't know how gristle walks. That's a gristle walk in that movie. He was a very impressive performance. Well deserved. I hope you solve one of those problems or release any of those people that you're off to release right now, Sean Penn. Very good.

So Jordan, speaking of prizes, I wanted to talk about your last special with The Daily Show was about Donald Trump's quest for the Nobel Peace Prize. And he didn't win. No, but he's still trying. Is he still trying? He's the Timothy Shalamee of Peace Prizes, I would say. He campaigned real hard for it, but he couldn't close the deal. I got to tell you, the Chalemay situation is giving me Ron DeSantis vibes. Why is that?

Well, Shallow A was all the talk for a while, ran a really hard promotional campaign, a very compelling campaign, and that it seems as if in the last few weeks it has turned with some ballerina comments, and now he leaves empty-handed. I'm reminded of Iran DeSantis, who was the next wave of the Republican Party. We were moving past Donald Trump into this world of Iraq. He was to face the future. There are so few public figures who can exist beyond a six-month period of, of a. of being in America's good graces. And I'm ruined for Chalemay. I love his performances.

He was great in a complete unknown. But you see this right now. This American appetite for celebrity and fame. We eat our own within six months. And I can see Democrats out there. Everybody's trying to figure out what the next Democratic presidential nominee will be, who that will be. And there is just no appetite beyond a six month period

for authenticity. or for characters in this universe. So I think if this says anything about the next election, it probably says we're not going to figure out who the Dems choose until about June of 2028. That's fair. Yeah. Or even after.

Maybe they'll just, yeah. I mean, that's sort of what happened this last time. Cut bait on the candidate. Be like, how about somebody else? Shoot, we forgot it. Yeah, never mind, never mind, never mind. Michael B. Jordan, do you want to come in? Please, come on over.

Yeah, you could be two candidates. You could be the president and the vice president. you want. Whatever you want to do. Yeah, please. So yeah, the award season is over, Nobel Prize season is over. How would you say Donald Trump's campaign for next year's Nobel Prize is going? Poor. Poor at best. Why is that? It seems as if starting an entirely new war with Iran is going to be something that the Nobel Peace Prize Committee takes into account. You think so? I would like to think so. That would be a strike against his record. They seem to be really focused on the peace part of the prize.

Yes, that is fair. They care about the Nobel, but even the Nobel part points to instilling peace. And it seems as if Donald Trump's actions in these last two weeks, there seems very little interest in peace in the region and just westward expansionism or regime change. Have we decided on why this is happening? Have you gotten a clear answer? Well, I saw a quote, gas prices have obviously been going up. And that's been a problem.

You know, it's a big economic issue in America. And one of the things that Trump said to put people's mind at ease is the United States is the largest oil producer in the world by far. So when oil prices go up, we make a lot of money. So if the plan here was to make gas more expensive, mission accomplished. Get the banner. If we started a war to make gas. more expensive we did it which again the history books may they may be written right now yeah to say exactly that so that we are comforted in our mission

accomplished this is the thing when gas was cheap it was great because gas was cheap but now that gas is expensive it's great because gas is expensive that's what's so great you kind of win either way you kind of win either way I think they're attempting to to figure out a way around that right now based on that quote we started this war to make gas more expensive and now that we have it's good look at all of the sign get here the thing about gas prices. They're on signs everywhere you go. You get to see them. They're like one of the few prices you can just see out in the world and they're up.

Trump administration, gas prices up, rent, up. Trump, they give you what you want, America first. Yeah, there you go. If there's some sort of Exxon Peace Prize, there you go. Exxon Price Prize. The Exxon Price Prize. That's good. Let me tell you, he's gonna get, he is, he is running, he is running way ahead of everybody else. Or a FIFA Exxon Price Prize. Just wait for it, it could happen. How many levels of prize can we get to? You can throw it out into the universe. It's coming back. I think it's good.

It has been wild how fast this war has come upon us. And the things that we learn about throwing ourselves into a region to destabilize it. The Strait of Hormuz is now something that everybody is Googling, trying to figure out where it is, and realizing that it is affecting so many things on a global scale. allies are now currently being asked to protect ships as they move through the Strait of Hormuz and so far we haven't gotten a lot of yeses

which is a bummer when now we're asking for help from our friends that we haven't been super kind to we maybe shouldn't have picked huge fights with all of our allies like six weeks ago seems as if there's not been a lot of pre-planning a boat tactical oversight hey can we take Greenland from you by force no all right

hey you want to help us in this other war not diplomatic. No. There's not a whole lot of planning right now. Also, all of the conversation is, if not all of the conversation, so much of the conversation is about the lack of planning, is about the lack of a clear mission, or at least a mission that has been articulated to the American public. And gas prices is something that Americans legitimately feel in and is affecting the economy.

Where is the conversation around the morality within this? choice. The terrible news about the girl's school that got bombed, the death toll, the Americans that are coming back, the families who now no longer have their sons and daughters, it's remarkable how quickly we have to change the narrative to the economic ramifications. But there was no articulation as to what the risks are and morally where we're at with it. And there's almost no better place to see that.

where Russia is now a part of this. I've been getting the news updates how we are also taking back sanctions on Russian oil. A week and a half after learning that Russia was collaborating with Iran in terms of information about America's positions. Ukraine is sending supplies to help us. At which point, so we are, we're helping Russia, but Russia's helping Iran, but we need to help Russia so that we can help better fight Iran. Like where this is, we're eating our own tail here. Yes.

Or mostly we're just, we're flailing to try to find an economic solution to something that has, that has also loosely been made as a moral necessity. And yet what is happening with Russia in and of itself is articulating like there is no moral argument. There is just a piecemeal argument to try to make the buck. The problem is when you drive around, there aren't big signs that have the morality up or down. The gas prices you see on the streets, the people just talk about it that way. There's no moral number to follow. That's you just need Sitco to have it on there.

It's like a thumbs up or thumbs down. Hey, we're living a little bit more of a moral life right now. Should we go fill up on a little bit of that morality on taking care or kindness? Can we can we get some more of that? It's going cheap right now. Regular premium diesel morality. Just put morality underneath. Put it on aside. And it would be way down. Somebody, could somebody please articulate in simple ways what we believe in? That's all I want. I don't think that's the era we're in right now. You know what?

You might be right. I think so. My morning flew by and I didn't have time to cook anything. And I looked up at the clock and now it's 10 a.m. And I'm hungry. And it's March. That's what I said to myself this week, realizing that life is super chaotic and we just don't have time to do everything that we want.

What do I want? Easy nutrition that's ready for me whenever I want that actually tastes good. This is where my friends at Huell come in, sponsor of this podcast. That's H-U-E-L. Huel is a perfect solution for high-protein routine support, busy days, habit-building, convenience, and control this year. I have goals to be healthier and keep on top of my nutrition this year. And fortunately, I've found an easy way to stick to my habits, all without compromising my nutrition and goals. This is thanks to Huell. If I'm being honest, I am absolutely the person who looks up at 1 p.m. and realizes I've had coffee.

just coffee. No breakfast, no lunch, just caffeine. So lately I've been keeping Hewell Black Edition around to stop myself from doing that. On the days I'm sprinting out the door, I grab a Black Edition ready to drink. It's a complete meal. 35 grams of protein, 7 grams of fiber, 27 essential vitamins and minerals, no artificial sweetener. And it's under five bucks, which is kind of amazing because it's cheaper than a latte and actually keeps me full until lunch. And I know what you're asking. Does it taste good? Really good. My go-to is chocolate peanut butter.

Then on days where I want something more customizable, I use the black edition powder. I'll blend it with ice and milk if I'm doing a whole smoothie moment, or I just shake it with water if I'm being lazy. With a bigger boost of 40 grams of protein, same complete nutrition, just a different vibe. The RTD plus powder duo has basically become my insurance policy against chaotic days.

With a limited time offer, get fuel today with an exclusive offer a 15% off online with the code Daily Show at huel.com slash daily show new customers only. Thank you to huel for partnering and supporting this show. If you're busy, this is a game changer. One of the things that's also come about over the past weekend is it's not just the war in Iran. It also seems there's sort of a civil war within MAGA itself or like the right wing coalition about whether they want to be in this war. There was a big fight over the weekend between, between Mark Levin on Fox News and Megan Kelly of the Megan Kelly show, whatever it is.

And also Tucker Carlson put out a big video saying the CIA is spying in his phone and that he expects some sort of charges from the CIA. So it seems like they've got their own kind of internal fights going on over this whole thing, which they're always attacking people on the center and in the left about things. so they're just kind of focusing their attention on each other right now. My particular favorite part of this was the fight between Megyn Kelly and Mark Levin. Megan Kelly, after they went back and forth on Twitter, dubbed him Micropenis Mark.

And that was part of a big fight. Did you follow this at all? Well, I have an Google alert for micropenuses, so yes. That's good. I'm always just want to know. I want to know what the latest science is. Just for reasons. Don't worry about that.

Don't worry about that. That's just, that's for my own whatever. I don't want people thinking about why would he have a Google alert for micropanus. Micro penis. I have, it's just good to be, it's just scientific. I love JAMA. You love science. I love science.

I love science. So I was mildly aware of the micro penis slander. It's curious because I believe micro penis was used multiple times. So Megan Kelly referred to Mark Levine's micro penis, which on the surface feels like perhaps a slight. He, if you see Mark Levin, he has, you know, a phallic shape to him. Okay. And so I could see where if you're looking to slander somebody, you go towards Why you watch Life, Liberty, and Levin is, look at this phallic, man. Oh, look at this. This is, they should blur it, but they don't. That's what I like. Just don't

blur it. So Fox News After Dark. First, okay, we're going to say he has a tiny dick, but then she doubled down on the micro penis comment, which makes me think, I spent enough time. in Mogherallis around conspiracy-minded people to know, look for the signs. It probably goes deeper. Or if it doesn't go deeper, you can go deeper. Okay.

So there's some intel out there about Mark Levins' micro penis. Okay. To double down on, no, you have a micro penis. You have a micropenus. It must mean that Megan Kelly, you have to respect somebody like Megan Kelly. She sticks by her guns. You know she does the research. So I'd like to take it at face value.

I don't know that you have to respect that, but that's your opinion, no. I have nothing but faith in the Megan Kelly show live on YouTube. Here's my favorite part of this is that Donald Trump posted a big true social post defending Mark Levine saying he was a great American, whatever. It was a 313 word post. But I do have to note, you know what word was not in that post? Penis. Nothing about penis, nothing about micro penis. He did not address the allegations head on.

The post is longer than the allegations of the size of Levin's Levin. Yes. So there you have it. I'm glad this is the kind of debate that they're having, though, between the big heavyweights and the conservative movement. Yes. They immediately pivoted to MicroPenus. A war is happening, and now the debate is about Mark Levin.

We could also pull this apart a little bit. Let's say Megan Kelly doesn't have any intel on the size Mark Levins-Livin. Then my second guess, is that she is she's making fun of Mark Levin's propensity towards violence. The idea

that you have a small... An overcompetation thing. Oh, you're overcompensating with these acts of war and aggression. Fine. Fine. Make that argument, Megan Kelly. But let's go back, too, because that is an argument that the left tends to make towards the entire gun nuttery

of the right. Okay. That you would only have an AR-15, if you had a tiny penis. And so many folks in the Megan Kelly world are outraged at that perspective. How dare you make fun of us for wanting to protect ourselves with these big guns and say it comes from having a small penis?

And yet, in this moment, Megan Kelly uses that exact same argument to throw Levin under the bus. Sure. So you're suggesting, if I'm not reading too much into this, that the Second Amendment should just be like, guys, it's fine. You don't need the whole right to bear arms saying, it's like, look, guys, any side,

You're fine. It's fine. You don't have to overcompensate that we should just have more acceptance. Yes. The First Amendment should be freedom of speech, religion, press, yada, yada, yada. Second Amendment should be, dudes, it's cool. Okay. Finally, someone should stand up to make men feel better. If we could, in order. If just the Founding Fathers knew that the men of our generation would be so so butt hurt by any kind of attacks that we just need to let them know, whatever you got going on down there, it's going to be cool.

It's fine. It's going to be cool. It's fine. Don't make a big deal about it. Okay. Just get on with your life. All right. I wanted to move from micro penis to another thing that people were talking about in and around the Iran war and the response to it.

Last week there was the dignified transfer of several soldiers who lost their lives over in Iran. Big controversy that when they arrived back, Donald Trump greeted the cast. baskets wore a hat. And then not only that, over the weekend, story kind of came, was a big scandal, died down. And then now there is a fundraising email that went out for a Trump super PAC, raising money with a picture of him greeting the caskets wearing the hat. So what did you make of this whole thing? It's something we missed last week. What's your reaction to?

Well, if I was going to defend Donald Trump, what is more dignified? The hair of Donald Trump or the hair covered of Donald Trump. I don't know. It seems as if it's a little uncouth to put a hat on, but we've seen that man's hair, and perhaps he was acting in an act of, it was an act of dignity at this point. I mean, this seems like the most basic thing.

The caskets are coming out. Take your hat off. Take the hat. Like, oh, I'm having a bad hair day? Sorry, you got to take the hat. But to me, this articulates the baseline of Trump's thought process. You are not wrong. That basic dignity and understanding of the mores of culture and just kindness and thoughtfulness

towards a situation like that from a commander-in-chief, the person would consider that. And the people around him would consider, oh, it's disrespectful to wear a hat that sort of been understood. And yet, I don't think Donald Trump actually thinks about it. I think he made a choice at some point earlier in the day that he didn't like how his hair, look, he put on a hat. And as he's walking out, he's not considering that he is wearing a hat. And also the people around him are so afraid of challenging that notion and telling them something that he doesn't want to hear that nobody says anything about it. It's almost a, it's proof of the

bubble that he is in that he gets to that point. The thing that's particularly infuriating to me is this is the stuff that they are so laser focused on all the time. The respect for the troops, the respect for the anthem, the respect for all those things. Colin Kaepernick, can't play two-hand touch football now because of all the anger around the anthem and like to then the first caskets you have your hat on on the first caskets that come out from this conflict it's just it's mind-boggling to me to do that oh you had a bad hair day sorry like you have to again dignified transfer and then okay like even if even if you gave that that response a fundraising email with a picture of the, like, it's out of, I can't like, I feel like,

and then the launching of the war was from Mar-a-Lago with a hat on the USA. It feels like this war we don't have an exit strategy, we don't have an entrance strategy, and we don't even have a dress code. There's just no understanding of what the basic preparation should be of straight-of-hormuz. Oh, wow, you know, we didn't know what was going to, like those things are important to have some sort of plan in place. And yeah, I just, it's shocking to me because it's the thing they care about so much. And Fox News even used footage that was not the dignified transfer footage.

And then they had to apologize for that because they know, man, this doesn't look good. This is really disrespectful. I think we need to update the rules. Well, update the rules as to, that's the one thing you can take away from this. if they are not going to change what they are doing. And like it or not, the dumbest, most, the dumbest kid from high school that you know is now in charge of this international military affair. And therefore on every level, there's not prep that's being done.

There's no articulation of what's happening. There's this false puffery about what we're doing and how bad ass we are. And then in the moments where you ask for something dignified, we are not going to get it. the very least we can get out of this is new rules about when to wear hats at sporting events. And if you like me, go to an NBA game and you stand up and you've had a bad hair day.

Please remove your hat. Please remove your hats. In respect for, yeah. That is a respectful thing to do. I do it every single time. But now if you have a bad hair day, you should not, the commander in chief

of the United States of America is not removing his hat. In fact, he's making money off keeping that hat on. You should be able to keep it on at NBA games. So no, hats stay on at the anthem. That's what we're getting out. Hats stay on. In fact, I would argue this.

If you are a MAGA supporter, how dare you take your hat off? Your commander-in-chief is wearing a USA hat as the bodies of American soldiers are being paraded in front of him. How unpatriotic of you to remove that hat during the national anthem? So let's see what these MAGA supporters do. So you've gone all the way around. Now you have to keep your hat on. Now I'm really talking myself into it. I think the new rules of patriotism demand you to show that amount of disrespect to our service members.

Four years away from like, you have to kneel during the anthem or it's disrespectful. We're going to come all the way around to it's actually, if you're genuflecting to the flag, you can get to that level of respect. This is a weird world we live in, Devonelic Lerner. There's no rules anymore. There's no rules. Look, the morality on the galley. The last chart way down. We just need some clarity.

What are the boundaries of the world that we're living within and one of the things that we believe in? Can somebody just clarify that for us? Yeah. I mean, what is the point of launching a war at a country club if you can't enforce the dress code? Truth. Anyway, speaking of dress codes and fashion around,

did you see this story about Donald Trump has been gifting a particular type of shoes? You're pumping your fists in the air. Love this story. All right, tell me. Love this story. So the story, as I understand it, is Donald Trump loves Floorshine shoes. Okay.

A very, from my, a very mid-range men's shoe couple. Sure. Fine, no shade on Floorheim. It's no Colhan. That sounds like shade. That is shade. And actually, Colhan, comfortable shoes, whatever. I don't need to, we don't need to, we don't need to parse this.

What we can say is, apparently Donald Trump thinks the people around him in his cabinet have shitty shoes and don't dress to impress. and therefore purchased floor-shymed shoes for cabinet members to wear around him. And there are now images of Marco Rubio wearing shoes that do not fit him that are way too big. And the understanding is that either Donald Trump purposely bought large shoes and is making them wear shoes that don't fit as a way to show respect for Donald Trump. Sure. Or ask them for their shoe size. There's some reporting that he does ask people for their shoe size and then purposely pick the wrong shoes or... Or you want to grow into it.

Or like... As someone who's bought shoes for children, you know... Well, that's the thing. Little Marco, like he's got growing still to do. This is, this to me has, it has all the great elements that just expose what this MAGA movement is about, which is like... It's unbridled fidelity towards one lunatic authoritarian to the point that is so degrading to who you are as a person. So Marco Rubio is either lying about the size shoes he needs because he wants his feet to seem big. To make himself look more manly.

Exactly. So he's, or he's getting shoes that don't fit. Instead of being a fucking adult and not wearing them, or even being an adult saying, thank you for this gift. I'm going to return them and get them in a size that I need to wear. He instead puts on literal clown shoes to wander around because he doesn't want to offend the emperor.

The emperor who wears no clothes. And as somebody who has foot problems, let me tell you. Me and my podiatrist will tell you. You have to wear comfortable shoes. You do? You reach a certain age. If your shoes do not fit from a chafing perspective, that's horrendous.

Or just from a mere bone structure. You're putting too much weight on the sesame wood bones if you're overcompensating with a back that's wide open like that. You know a lot about foot bones. Let me tell you. So I've broken my foot multiple times, one from working out and a second time from standing too long, Devin. This is what happens when you get too old. How long did you stand? I couldn't get a table for two and a half hours.

I stood at a bar and I re-broke my foot. This happened. Just from standing? Yes, I broke my foot standing too long. The rest of your body is just pushing down with such a force of gravity. Yes. But you just heard a snap standing still. You feel enough pressure that the fracture just exacerbates and pop.

That's what happens. So this is, in many ways, this is the accountability that we're going to get with the Trump administration. You want there to be hearings after all this goes down. No, it is the shame that these people have to live with in wearing shoes that don't fit. And I know it fucking hurts. Can we pull up that picture of Marco Rubio, actually, with the, for our viewers online who are watching this and not listening, there's a great picture. Oh, we're looking at somebody. This looks like Quentin Tarantino's browser history right now.

We're just going to feed all over the place. say Americans, they want this Trump administration, you know, after all this goes down, they want the accountability, they want their moment in court. They want their Nuremberg. You're saying we're not going to get that. They're just going to get Plander fasciitis and that's it.

That's the Nuremberg, okay? They're fascists, is what you're saying. There is. It's Planter fascistitis. Fascistitis. That's what's going on here. Fascistism is on the march. It's getting

less and less arch support by the minute. I mean, in the future, as stories disappear, I do think things will, I will always remember the four seasons landscaping. To me, is such an emblematic moment in the Trump administration. And this story, to me, has the possibility of reaching that level. That's good. I liked when you saw the pictures of Rubio in the shoes. There's like a Trump thick ankle-sized hole where, like, people should,

like, when you see somebody who has jeans and you're like, you're not filling out these jeans. Like, that's what his shoes look like. Trump's like, no, man, let's get them the angle and really get some room for those juicy ankles. Trump has a total misunderstanding. Not only does he not know how the regular Americans live. He doesn't know what the price of milk is. He also doesn't know what the size of ankles are.

Ankle circumference is your issue. He can't empathize with Marco Rubio anymore. Just walking around flopping with his feet. He believes shoes should be the size to carry like a gallon of paint in them. He's like, well, that's what a shoe is. It holds a gallon's worth of liquid. Those are nice shoes. Where'd you get them?

Benjamin Moore. They're my, yeah. Yeah. They have the best tubs to put my liquid feet in. Very good. All right, so that's sort of the things we missed over the past week. I'll do a very quick mention. Cash Patel invited some FBI agents to train with UFC fighters.

I just wanted to read this quote to you because it's a lot of fun. Cash Patel said, I'm thrilled to announce this historic seminar between the FBI and the UFC at Quantico. This is a tremendous opportunity for our FBI agents to learn and train with some of the greatest athletes on Earth, helping the world's premier law enforcement agency be even better prepared to protect the American people. Do you think this will help the FBI to train with UFC fighters? I don't know how important a neck hold is to today's FBI, but I do know Cash Patel is going to get to hang out with some sweaty dudes, and he loves it.

He loves being in a locker room. That guy, that's all he wants, right? Put that man in a locker room, give him some beers to chug, and he is a happy little camper. We have to hope that if there are domestic crises, they all take place in the octagon. And so we're ready. We're ready to take them on wherever those threats may be,

as long as those threats are in the octagon. Put the threats of the octagon. We will be prepped for that. Yes. I believe we are cutting certain important FBI agents and departments that could be prepping for, I don't know, domestic terrorist situations. We are at war.

Perhaps we could put the energy to try to prevent any type of situation. But apparently he's got a thought out. So him and Dana White are going to figure out ways in which to amp up the beef. That's it. Listen, can I just say that if FBI agents were trained in UFC, Silence of the Lambs would have been that much better a movie.

Come on. It really would, right? Yeah. Just go in Buffalo Bill. and Clarice just taking it into the ring. Pain and game means silence the lance? That's it. We'd want to watch that.

Hannibal Lecter, undefeated. Come on. Ooh, a cauliflower ear, tell me more. Delicious. I'd watch that. I would say for a cannibal flower ear has to really be up there on the level of food. I mean, maybe that's also grisily.

Possibly, yeah. I really don't know the consistency of cauliflower ear. Yeah. Well, it's how you prepare it, you know. If you do it right, it can taste like steak. Yeah, that's it. You get a nice seasoning on it. It's the way you cut it.

It's all about how you cut a cauliflower. Get a nice grill. And then you sear the top and you seeer the bottom and then you eat the color. Char, char. Char. And you'll never notice it's not just regular human flesh. Yeah, no. This is great for the FBI.

This is all going to go great. All right. So that's what we missed. What are some of the things you're looking at for this coming week? We've got a big week. We're going to keep our eye on what's happening in Iran. That's straight of Hormuz. Now that we all know where it is.

Yeah, and what it is. And what it is, we can keep an eye on. Straight of Hormuz, not straight. No. Curves. It's a curve. That's confusing, too. It's so confusing.

We didn't study the geography. It's got a big bend in it. We didn't anticipate the bend. It's called the straight of Firmuz. It's not that kind of straight. I thought it'd be super simple. Now you've got a turn. What's going on here?

Komenims got us again. We're going to see what happens with these allies. I think a lot of asks are out to see who our friends are on a global scale. We'll see which of those friends have our back. Mark Wayne Mullen. One of the best names. people in this Trump administration. Oh, I love it. I love a Mark Wayne. He's got a confirmation hearing this week, so we'll keep an eye on that. Yep, he's a Mark. Is Mark going to show up?

Is Wayne going to show up? Oh, they both going to show up? You'd hope they're both. You're going to get half a Mark, half of Wayne? This is, I'm trying to figure out which part I trust more. Do I trust the, I mean, the Mark side to me is a, is a thoughtful person, a person who plays by the rules. Yeah. Wayne is a wild card. That's it. My Mark is telling me no, but my Wayne. My Wayne is telling me yes. There was glee in the Daily Show writers' room when Mark Wayne Mullen got that. The amount of things we were throwing around. Insane of the Mark Wayne.

Insane in the Wayne. I'll shout out Lauren Means for that one. Great one. This is just a Slack channel. Was it for any purposeful joke or it was mostly like, oh, look, Mark Wayne Mullen is... You never know when a joke is going to be useful. No. Yeah.

Another great one I loved. Lily Blumpkins was... We found Mark and Hopeless Wayne. but Rihanna that one was making me laugh This week might just be Mark Wayne Mullen puns Yes

If we do it right Yeah He is a character and a half I mean he is He threatened to To fight someone The teamsters president Sean O'Brien

That's right He was ready to throw down with him And now they're friends Are they pals now? They're pals now Oh see Maybe there's a redemption story here Yeah

If Mark and Wayne Can live together As one strange First Name Then perhaps we can all Look at that As an example that we can aspire towards.

Very good. Look at UC and the hope. You got a squint look for it. That glass is half full. That mark is half a wayne. We've also got the leader of the Prime Minister of Ireland is coming to America and we'll be here on St. Patrick's Day.

The best day for any true Irish person to come to America. Yes, it's good. We're putting our best foot forward when it comes to the Irish on St. Patrick's Day. Yeah, look, we clearly respect your culture. Go to any of our local pubs Let's see how much we respect Irish culture.

Yeah, please don't go outside. Please don't. This is like if Santa Claus came on Santa Con, he would be like, is this what you think of me? Yeah. I met this weekend, I met the best Irish ladies. I was walking past a subway station. I believe they're called Lasses. Lasses.

I met the best lasses. They hop out of a subway station and they stop me on the street. They're like, I'm not even going to do the accent because I have so little faith in myself and so much respect for. for you. But they're like, are you from here? And I said, yes. Like, can you tell me where the Marriott is? And I don't know where the Marriott is. And as I'm like, well, I'm not exactly, and they stop, they go, we don't need to know where it is. We just kind of need to know what direction. Can you just point us in the direction? I was like, oh, I think it's, it's in that direction. They're like, thanks. We're Irish. We're drunk. We just need to know which way to

ramble. I was like, great, cool, slantcha. And they go slantia. And then they And they head off in the general direction of a Marriott, which to me, it was noon on a Sunday. Okay. To me, it was so joyful and lovely about these Irish ladies. Like, yes, thank you. You don't need me to walk you to the Marriott. You just need a general direction, and your joy and inebriation will take you there. Great.

That was not the delegation of the Prime Minister. It might have been the Prime Minister. Okay. It could be part of his or her delegation. I don't know enough about the Irish Prime Minister. Fair. I believe we googled the Irish Prime Minister's name before this podcast, only to realize we didn't want to attempt to pronounce it. I'm not going to try to pronounce it because I respect you too much to try to pronounce it.

This will be internal drama with The Daily Show this week is if that story rises to the point where we do comment it on the show, do I pronounce it? Do I find some clever workaround to just reference the Prime Minister of Ireland? The Gaelic pronunciations might be some of the hardest ones that are out there. This is a hell of a cliffhanger for your week. Oh, my God. See if Jordan Klepper will do the tightrope of pronouncing Gaelic. I know. Oh, God, oh, God.

Yeah. You read Finnegan's Wake by James Joyce and yet you can't pronounce the Gaelic. I can't figure it out. I really can't figure it out. Oh, oh, no. Oh, God. All right. Now it's time for a little something that we call Daily Show and Tell.

This is something that you've watched or read or listened to or argued about or something that's just generally been on your mind that you wanted to share with our viewers and listeners. Here's the thing that has brought me much joy recently is a pal of mine who was on the Daily Show recently, Langhorne Slim, gave me a great recommendation. We share a lot of musical tastes, and I like listening to vinyl records,

and he hit me to this thing called Mississippi Records, which is a record label out of Oregon, I believe, and they get all these long-lost recordings, from all over the globe. They have a good payment structure where they give the money back to the people where they get it from. And it's a record club.

You pay a yearly subscription base and they send you whatever records they have and they're doing. And they've sent me, literally I have Greek music from the 1920s. I got Ethiopian church music from the 70s. They found this beautiful Ethiopian nun who wrote

predominantly classical music that was sold in churches in the 70s that they got the rights to and have put it onto vinyl. And to me, it is the anti-algorism. I give money to this lovely little company in Oregon and they will send me random batches of music from all over. This is music you can't find on Spotify. It's music that's just from all over the globe that is curated. It's beloved. It is surprising. and it breaks my head out of the chaos of the algorithms and the times that we are in. So I am loving it.

Mississippi Records. I couldn't recommend it more if you're a vinyl nerd and just kind of want to break your mind outside of it. Wonderful. Yeah. What about you? I will say the new novel Vigil by George Saunders,

who is coming on the show tomorrow. I read that in preparation to kind of discuss and do guess questions. It's great. I loved it. Yeah, it's if you don't want to know, I went in totally, read the dust jacket or anything. I was like, I'm just going to experience this. If you want to go in that way, do that skip 30 seconds ahead thing on the podcast quickly. Starting, hit the button. I'll give you a second to hit the button before I spoil what the premise is. Okay, great. So it's about kind of an angel or a series of angels visiting this sort of oil tycoon on his deathbed. And really beautiful, really profound. A lot of questions about morality. Again, you could have the morality on a guest. Stein. That's what this book is.

meant to do and about his life, about the meaning of it, the moral things he did, the immoral things grappling with that. If we even have choice over it, it was wonderful. So I really recommend that book. Saunders is, he's one of my favorite authors. And I, in reading this book for the interview that we have on Tuesday, just writing notes throughout. At one point, I just wrote, he's so kind to his characters. He's covered the Maga movement somewhat as well. He went to Maga Raleys and wrote a New Yorker piece about it. And it's just remarkable. I can't wait to talk to him because I do think he's such a moral writer. And he has characters in here that you want to throw under the bus for the actions that they've done.

And he grapples with this idea of how much grace to give to human beings and what the role of faith is and what the role of comfort is in how we see other people. He talks about human beings, one of the characters. I think I've heard him talk in interviews about this is a book of questions. He creates characters who have moral quandaries that isn't one particular answer. But one of the characters really goes inside the body of somebody who is a murderer and comes out of it saying there is no other way for that person to be, talking about humans being inevitable. And I think that's such an interesting place to be in conversation that he has

because he also bumps it up against another character, the Frenchman who thinks there should be more culpability accountability for the actions that we take. And this book asks a lot of the questions that we have at the show and the times that we are in. Also in such a playful manner. Saunders is so silly and goofy. There was a moment where I started reading this,

and I started in my mind seeing it as a Tim Burton film. Oh, yeah, okay. It's silly and it's playful and it's spooky. And I even read my son, who's five, hopped in bed with me and was like, what are you reading? I was telling him about this book. he doesn't read a lot of adult fiction. Sure.

Or read much at all. And I was like, you know what? Let me read some of it to you. I started and I, and he was totally bought in. I read the first five pages to him. And just the world it conjures is so funny and interesting and playful. And it's literally an angel falling upside down into Earth. Like face planted into the ground rebuilding their body as they walk in.

And my son is like laughing at it. Yeah. And reacting to it. It was really lovely to see him have an emotional reaction and understand some of these things that play, even though this book deals with such adult themes. It does it in such an accessible way. I could recommend that. It had a feel almost of like a Christmas Carol but also a Muppet Christmas Carol, where you're like, this is silly and, yeah.

That's spot on. I love that. So we recommend that book. And we recommend that interview for Tuesday night. He'll be on. Hasn't happened yet, but I think it's going to go well. Will it go well? Will you speak Gaelic to him?

You'll have to tune in to find out. Very stressful. Oh, God, so stressful. All right. Well, that is this week pre-capped. My name is Devin De Laquanty. Be sure to catch Jordan Klepper, the one and only, hosting The Daily Show this week on Comedy Central and Paramount Plus,

and right here in podcast form on the Daily Show Ears Edition. Thanks, David. Thank you. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.