The Daily Show: Ears Edition - The Rise of Young America's Vaping Crisis | Jenny Slate

Episode Date: November 8, 2019

Facebook bans the sexual use of emojis, Trevor examines how the vaping industry allegedly targets teens, and comedian Jenny Slate discusses "Little Weirds" and "Stage Fright." Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio, on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. November 7, 2019.

From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York, this is the Daily Show everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in and thank you as always for coming out. I'm Trevor Noah. Our guest tonight is an actor, comedian, and author. Here with a new Netflix special and a brand new book. Jenny Slates is joining us everybody. Also on tonight's show, Facebook is banning sex. Donald Trump doesn't know how to stand and the ugly truth about vaping. So let's catch up on today's headlines.

Let's kick it off with the big social media controversy. Recently, Facebook said that it would not ban political ads even if they made false statements. And everyone said, oh man, we're screwed. And now Facebook is saying, oh no, we'll make sure you're not screwed. Facebook and Instagram users who post emoges or emogees or scephogees. Facebook and Instagram will be looking at just how you're using them. Really Facebook, Facebook and Instagram will be looking at just how you're using them. Really, Facebook?

You're banning eggplant and peach emogees? You don't realize now it's going to be so hard to explain to your grandma why her eggplant and peach salad post got deleted? You'll be like, so, Grandma, uh, Facebook thinks you're a hoe. You'll be like, you do one gang bang bang, thangangangangangangangangangangangangangangangangangangangangang bang, thang bang, thang bang, thang bang, thang bang, thin, th grandma, Facebook thinks you're a hoe. Uh, you do one gang bang, it follows you for the right. Wait, what? You know what I find fascinating about this, right? Is that there's apparently nothing Facebook can do

if Russians post fake political ads or Nazis send death threats, but all of a sudden they're coming off to horny people like, we got a cold water squirt, let's roll, fellas. And by the way, also, it's fun to imagine explaining to someone from the 19th century how dating has changed. Because they would be like, in my day, we're used to court our bethows by putting a sonnet into a love letter. And we're just like, really?

We just tax vegetables that look that's that's that's let's move on. Because while Facebook is banning emogees, the city of Las Vegas is trying to ban actual humans. Las Vegas makes it illegal to camp or sleep on the streets or sidewalks of the city council approving the measure in front of a fired up crowd. the people are going to be so far and not to go today. Protestors say the ban criminalizes the homeless population. Those violating the law could be fined up to $1,000 or put in jail for six months. Are you shitting me? This is heartless and disgusting.

The city of Vegas is making it a crime for a homeless person to sleep on the street. Like, what's their pitch? Oh, we don't want these homeless people because they might scare away our usual crowd of pimps and bookies, you know? And also, how are you going to fine a homeless person? Asking a homeless person to pay a fine is like asking Nancy Pelosi to blink. It's not going to happen. Those eyes don't close. It's also crazy that the punishment for being homeless in the street is going to be six months in jail. Like for me, this is always always always always always always always always always always always thoos, this is always th. tho-a, this is always, this is always, th. thi, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, tho, their, thi, thi, thi, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, th. the, th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, the, the, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, the, to, their, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. thi. thi. thi. th punishment for being homeless in the street is going to be six months in jail. Like for me, this is always the paradox of America. Because the government could be providing housing for homeless people, but instead they'd rather spend $4,500 per person to put a homeless person in prison, which is a place with a roof and

a bed and a TV. That's a house. Take away the bars and the toilet wine. It's the same thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing things things thine thine thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoomoomoomoomorrow. the. the. thoomoomoomoom-a. thoomoome. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoes. thoes. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea thea thea' thea thea' thea. the thea the thea same thing. It's the same thing. But instead, the city's going to force the people to live in jail, and then what, at the end of the sentence, you're going to be like, okay, you're free, do you have a house yet? It's like, no, then get back in there! Then get back in there's an emergency. But now, you may want to have a backup. The 911 personnel under fire after an emergency call was mishandled, while investigators say the supervisor was apparently streaming Netflix. When a gunman opened fire, his bullet barely missed a woman sitting in her car. She called 911 three times, but the police never came, in part because the supervisor

was distracted, watching Netflix and Hulu on the job. I just called the police a few good minute minute thiiii thuuuuuu. And thu. And the the the the the the the the emergency the emergency the the emergency the emergency the emergency the emergency the emergency the emergency the emergency their their their their their their their their their their call their call their call their call their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their part because the supervisor was distracted, watching Netflix and Hulu on the job. I just called the police a few good minutes ago and they're still not here and I just got shot at in the car. I don't know what to do. I'm freaking out. Another four minutes passed. Still no cops. Hi, I just called. I'm going to drive to the police station. Is that okay? Oh man. First of all I need the gumption of this woman. S. the police. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. the to. to. to. the to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the to. the to. the the to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm just just just just just just just just. I just. I just. I'm just.a.a.uu.u.u.u.u. I just just just. I just. I just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just just. I'm just just just. I'm all, I need the gumption of this woman. She gets shot at, the police don't answer, so she's like, I'm just going to drive to the station myself. Yeah, that's conviction, because Grubhubb gives me a kale salad instead of the ice cream I order,

and I'm like, yeah, okay, I'll take it. You know what to be weird is, what if what if what if she the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha, thuice, thuice thi thi thi is, the thathea, the the the the the the thathea, the police thathea, the police that, that, the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. that, than that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thatea. thatea thatea thatea thatea tha that that that that that that that that th huh? Then she's gonna have to do the whole investigation herself, finds the shooter, takes him to court, but then when she gets to court, the judge is also watching Netflix, so then she then has to do the trial herself. It's just like a one-woman justice system, which is such a great story. They should make bing to admit that this is partly Netflix's fault, though?

Like, they make binging too addictive. Like, instead of always recommending more shows, maybe Netflix should have a setting for people at work. So it says, if you like stranger things, you may like doing your fucking job. It might work. I do have a tip for anyone, though. If you do call 911, and you suspect that they are are are are are are are are they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the the the thi thi the thearning thearning thearning that thatip for anyone though. If you do call 911 and you suspect that they're ignoring you because they're watching Netflix,

there's actually a code that you can use to make sure that they send someone right away. You just say black guy and then they spring right into action. Yeah, it works for anything. It really works well. You just pick up the phone and be like, hello, 911, my cat is stuck in a tree, and there's a black guy up there. We're sending someone right away! He's out his way! All right, that's it for the headlines. Let's move on to our top story. Our main story is about vaping. It's for people who like smoking, but don't like to look cool. When Vapens first came out, they were marketed as a better alternative to smoking.

No smell, no mess, and most importantly, they said it was better for your health, which sounded like the holy grail. I mean, imagine if they came out with a tequila that caused you to make good decisions. You'd be like, dude, I drank so much last night. I created an app that connects health care providers with low-income families who need it? And I didn't call my ex. I was smashed. But over the last year, we started to learn that vaping is not as innocent as we were told. And we're also learning that the vaping companies are shady as shit.

A new lawsuit claims that e-cigarette maker shipped and sold contaminated vaping pods to customers and retailers. A former executive for the e-cigarette maker alleges that at least one million tainted pods were put on the market earlier this year. Former Jewel's senior vice president Siddarth Braja claims he was fired in March for raising concerns about the quality of the products being sold. The lawsuit claims then CEO Kevin Burns responded to those concerns, saying half our customers are drunk and vaping like, who the a-s'-bub is going to notice the quality of our pods. God damn. I honestly don't know what's worse. The fact that Joule was shipping contaminated pods or the fact that their CEO didn't give a shit about his customers.

He treated his customers the way Trump treats the English language. Every me I can best. Not good, quick pro quo. And this lawsuit is only the latest in a long string of vaping controversies. They have also been widespread reports about people getting sick from vaping, people dying from vaping, and even some people who thought they were vaping but were actually just sucking on a USB drive. Oh, oh, oh, no, PowerPoint.

Now you may be wondering, how on earth did an industry that barely existed a few years ago turn into a nationwide epidemic? Well, let's find out in another installment of, if you don't know, now you know. the trie. So, how did electronic cigarettes become the biggest thing on the streets? Well, their rise to the top started a lot like regular cigarettes? There's no question that the e-cigarette industry has ripped its tactics straight from big tobacacos playbock's playbuck......... the t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t tobacco tobacco tobacco tobacco tobacco tobacco tobacco tobacco tobacco tobacco tobacco tobacco tobacco today todays todays today today today today today today today today today today today toda t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t toda toda today today today tip tip today today today today today today to today to today today to today to today today today today today today today today today today to the top started a lot like regular cigarettes. There's no question that the e-cigarette industry has ripped its tactics straight from Big Tobacco's playbook.

Take a look at the glamorous woman in the blue dress, smoking a cigarette in 1930. And this woman, today in an ad for an e-cigarette, the rugged cowboy, then and now. Both marketed relaxation, freedom, travel, freedom, and sex appeal. E-cigarette manufacturers like candy pens can be promoted in DJ Calid music videos, just like tobacco corporations used to pay stars to smoke their cigarettes on screen. Okay, that's just irresponsible. Celebrities shouldn't be advertising addictive substances to their fans, which is why the only product I endorse is cabbage. Cabbage. It's the one thing you definitely won't th th th th th th th th th th th th th to their fans, which is why the only product I endorse is cabbage.

Cabbage, it's the one thing you definitely won't get addicted to. Mmm. I don't want any more of this. Nah. Now, to be clear, vaping companies aren't bad guys because they advertised their product. What made this a sinister industry is who they were advertising their products to. The FDA slamming popular e-cigarette maker, Jewell, for marketing directly to students. Jewell spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to fund youth programming. Two teenagers testified that a Jewel representative came to their school to give an anti-vaping presentation. And when their teacher left the room, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th.s, th.s, th.s, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their when their teacher left the room, they say the

representative repeatedly claimed that Jewel was safe to use. 80% of teens who vaped say they picked the product because it comes in flavors that they like. The teens say the sleek devices are easy to hide. You can't tell if it's a teenager's lip gloss or cologne or if it's a their it's a cologne their it's a cologne. their it's cologne. their it's cologne. their it's cologne. their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. tool. their tool. their. their. te. theat-a. theat-a. theat. their their their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. te. te. te. te. te. tool. tune. tune. tune. tune. tune. tune. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. think you can tell because they're sucking on it. I'm pretty sure teenagers aren't taking drags of eternity for men. Something tells me that kids get away with a lot at this principal school. It's just like, boy, it sure is remarkable how many students here are texting about their egg plants getting rained on. These kids love gardening.

But when you look at everything from VAPE designs to their outreach, you don't have to be a genius to realize they wanted their products in the hands of teens. And the flavors are probably the biggest red flag of all. I mean, mango, cotton, candy, jelly donut. Like, these things are so targeted at kids, I'm shocked that they didn't have like a breast milk flavor. But according to the vague lobby, all these flavors are clearly for adults only. The industry is not targeting children.

Just because you're an adult doesn't mean that you don't like gummy bears. I see adults buying packs of gummy bears. Ithe time. I mean, just because you're an adult doesn't mean that you don't like good flavors. Okay, okay. I hear you, rodeo accountant, I hear you. But you have to admit. The vaping lobby's excuses sound a lot like a pedophile's excuses. What, no?

The candy and Disney movies are keeping my car are for me, adults like Mowana too. Now in response to all this criticismism the biggest e-cigarette company, Jewel, has recently curbed their marketing to kids, and also they've gotten rid of all their super-fruly fantastic totally adult flavors. But unfortunately, it might be a little too little too late because countless teens are addicted to vaping, and schools across the country are struggling with the outbreak. It's a nationwide problem. In Texas, some schools make kids roll up their long sleeves

so they can't hide the devices. In February, Nebraska, they are randomly testing students in extracurricular activities for nicotine. There are vape sensors in Illinois and New Jersey bathrooms. One Alabama high school taking extreme measures after a student was found passed out in the bathroom after vaping. The principal removing doors off stalls in the boys' bathroom, which some parents say is excessive.

Okay, hold up, some parents say that's excessive? Some parents think it's excessive to force kids to shit in front of everybody? Who are the other parents? Who the other parents are like, it's fine? My kid doesn't deserve privacy? I mean, aside the the the thiiiiiiiiiii, the thi, th, thi, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, are like, it's fine, my kid doesn't deserve privacy. I mean, aside from TI, who are the other parents? Yeah, he's probably like, take the doors off those stars expeditiously. Look, I think we can all agree that neither kids nor schools should be responsible for

fixing this addiction crisis that companies like Jewel have helped create. If anything, e-cigarette companies should be forced to pay for the damage that they've purposefully caused. It's the same way opioid companies are being forced to pay for the work they've done that cause people to be addicted or how Nabisco had to pay for Cookie Monsters rehab. And you know what, just to give them a little extra incentive, we should go to Jewel's offices and take the doors off of their bathroom stores until they fix the shit that they've done. So in a nutshell, that's how vaping became the crisis that it is in America today. And if you don't know, now you know. We'll be right back. John Stewart here, unbelievably exciting news.

My new podcast, The Weekly Show, we're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back to the day of the show. My guest tonight is an actor, comedian and author whose new book is called Little Weirds and her debut Netflix comedy special is called Stage Frights. Please welcome Jenny Slates! Welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. And congratulations on having not one but two new projects out at the same time that are getting great reviews from people who are watching and reading them. Let's talk first about the book, Little Weirds.

It's interesting because you say you didn't want Let's talk first about the book, Little Weirds. It's interesting because you say you didn't want to write a book about your time and comedy, you didn't want to write about S&L. You just wanted to write about your weird little world. And I was like, what does that mean? But when you read it, you have a very strange mind. It is a beautiful mind, but it is a strange mind. It is a, it. It is a, but it is a strange mind and I mean like you you write about like the idea of being born as a croissant for instance. Sure sure sure that's right that's right I almost jumped on the fact that you said a beautiful

mind which is of course a movie about a from the 90s about a mentally ill man. Oh no no no no no I just clarifying super oh no no no no no no just a beautiful mind a mind that is beautiful I should yes trademark no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no quick. Oh, no, no, no, no, just a beautiful mind. A mind that is beautiful, I should, yes, trademark, no trademark, I mean, Russell Crow performance, right? Right, right. He's in, I mean, and actually, I mean, not to get us off topic right away, but when I was writing this book, I was like, I'm just going just going to to write to write to write, to write, to write, to to me right now. But as I started to assemble it, I actually said,

is this going to be like in the movie a beautiful mind? Wow. When he's like, I solved the problem, come to my office. And then the people all come. And he's like in a shack in the woods. And he's like, you know, tack up trash to the wall? And he's he's he's he's he's he he. And he's he. And he's he. And he's is like, do is like, do is like, do is like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do th, do th, do th. th. th. this is like, do, do thi. thi, do thi. this is like, this is like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th.. th. th... th. th.... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. this is like, this is like, thi. this is like, this is like, this this is this is like, this this is like, that I don't think anybody has written, like ghost pirates. I don't think anybody's written about ghost pirates. It's like a thing where you were just like, yeah, I'm just going to write about ghost pirates

and then Valentine's Day and my life and this thing and that thin, and then like, is that how your mind works? Is that just what the scope of my imagination but part of writing this book was like you know sometimes if you're if you're a comedian they're like we want you to write comedic essays about maybe the famous people you've met or something or where you've been and for me I wrote this at a time when I kind of felt like I needed to get to know myself again. And so I started to write little pieces just about what I was observing and myself. And the piece you're talking about the chrasant, it comes from this weird feeling that I've been having like for over a decade that was just

a wish. That some, I would be walking down the street and people would see me and be like, she's probably from France. You know? I don't know. I don't know what that means. I love it. Yeah, I mean, it's, it means like, you know, she's classy. She's, she's just over it.

I think that is the best description for a French person I've ever heard. They do generally seem like they are over it. They've done it all and th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You', thi. You know, thi. You know, I th. You', I th. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. th. th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th that is the best description for a French person I've ever heard. They do generally seem like they are over it. They've done it all and they are over at all. Yeah, like, I mean, my feeling about French ladies is like, oh, they just don't care. Like, you have to win their attention. Whereas, me as an American Jenny, I'm like, like, I'm like, like, do you want to talk to me? Like, let's never go to bed. Like, you know, even when this interview is over,

I'm going to follow you around and be like, Oh, wow, thank you. Like, what more? Like, what more? Let's talk about the stand-up as well, because your mind translates completely differently in the book is fun and it's quirky and like you play with it and it really is heartfelt. The stand-up has that feeling but in a totally different way. You've done something that I haven't seen before.

You've got your stand-up but then you have like a documentary that's happening parallel to the stand-up. So you're telling stories and then we see the the the standup and then we see the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the you you've you've you've you've you've you've done you've you've you've you've done you've done you've done you've done you've done you've done you've done you've done you've done you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the which is like makes you adorable because you're doing the grand and then it's like it's a magical thing why did you choose to do it like I think you know I you know what it's sort of an extension of being like mom will you come with me like if you're afraid of doing something you're like I don't want to walk you know if like you're a kid in a restaurant, you have to go to the bathroom and you're like, well, someone come with me. I think it was like as time I felt like, okay, I've been doing stand-up for almost 15 years and I've never done a special because I don't like the challenge of having to get it perfect,

and like touring the country and just making your material like, you know, sort of like bulletproof and I I'm very improvisational on stage and I thought like there's kind of no place for me and then I thought well there's a place for me to show where I come from and that's what my special should be like so I decided to do the set in the way that I normally do it which is like there are bullet points but it's it's improvised and then to show that I come from these people who are storytellers and like strange, silly, sweethearts in their own way, and that I'm kind of from that, but somehow shot out the side.

Where, has anyone said to you after watching the special, hey, we should get your grandmother into stand up as well. Because she's really funny. Yeah, I mean, they're both really funny. I was just saying to my parents yesterday that one of the funniest jokes, my Nana Connie, who looks like Nancy Reagan, with Eagle Talent. One of the funniest things she said was that she turned to my other grandmother and they're both like a million years old

And was like oh no Rochelle we forgot our roller blades Okay, yeah, it's it's quirky. It's different. It's interesting. It's a new way of spread of expressing yourself and one thing I find fascinating. you've been really open talking about like, you know, your anxiety and how you are struggling at some point with like your place in the world and just like, you know, harnessing your mind and your emotions. Yeah. Has this helped you writing it out, you know, doing the special out there? Has it given you a sense of relief? It really has because of relief. It really has, because, I think the sense that if you're the, if, if, if, if, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, you, to, to, to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, they..e. their, the, a stand-up comedian, they're like, oh, that must be so hard because of heckling. And like, I mean, I hate to jinx myself, but I actually haven't been heckled.

Because I'm usually just a person up there talking, but I've kept it really small scale. And I think for me, writing this book, first I just wanted to like be really like muscular about it and suddenly I was like I just want to write a book that is sweet that anybody could kind of like open to any page and feel that they are talking to a dear friend. Right. And that means like a reflection of intimacy and and being allowed to share sorrow without making it be heavy. And so I put this book here kind of like into the culture to be like, there is a lot that hurts right now.

Wherever, whatever side of whatever line you're on, like, there's just a lot of bruising and I would like to just offer a little gift for relief for myself and whoever wants it. Oh, I think you've done that with the book and the special is just fantastic. Thank you so much for joining us on the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the thi thi thi thi th done that with the book and the special is just a fantastic. Thank you so much for joining us on the show. Really wonderful. Stage fright is currently streaming on Netflix and Little Weird is available now. Gene Slate everybody. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. to be tel you. to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking talk talking talk talking talk talking talk talking talking thelling the election thelling the election the election the a the election to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the election the election the election the election the election the election the election the election the election the election the election the election the election, the election, the the the the here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient-to-bread ratio on sandwiches.

I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. The Daily Show with Cover Noa, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show Weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central Act. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.

Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show. It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself, TGID. Thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election, economics, earnings calls.

What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.