The Daily Show: Ears Edition - The Secret Service Deletes January 6 Texts | Gregory Robinson

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

The Secret Service deletes texts from January 6, 2021, Kevin Matthew Kelp (Michael Kosta) cracks a fruit conspiracy, and NASA's Gregory Robinson discusses the James Webb Space Telescope.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter's smart technology. Sip Recruiters' smart technology identifies to the talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, zip recruiters powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use zip recruiters pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner.

Ditch the other hiring sites and let zip recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on zip recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day Try it for free at this exclusive web address zip recruiter.com slash zip. Again, that's zip recruiter.com. SIP recruiter the smartest way to hire you're listening to you from New York City, the only city in America. It's the Daily Show. Tonight, shrinkage is real. Pineapples are hiding something.

And Gregory Robinson. This is the Daily Show with Trevor Noah. Thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you for coming out in person. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much. Thank you so much. Take a seat. Let's do this, people. Let's do this. You guys feel great. All right, we've got a wonderful show for you tonight. Dallas has solved school shootings. We discover the truth behind fruit and inflation now has an evil twin. So let's do this people. Let's jump straight into today today today today today today today today today to to to to to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho an evil twin. So let's do this people. Let's jump straight into today's headlines. Let's kick things off with inflation. to surprise.

Let's kick things off with inflation. Surprise. It's the reason parents are also throwing tantrums in grocery stores right now. For the past year or so, the price of everything we buy has been skyrocketing, right? Because as companies face higher costs to make their products, they have to pass those costs onto the consumers. And I know what you're thinking right now, you're like, Trevor, can't they keep their prices the same and make a slightly smaller profit? Ha ha ha ha. You're adorable, less profit. But it turns out some companies are not raising their prices.

And it's not because they're angels, it's because they've found a much sneakier way to make the same profit as before. From the rising cost of inflation to the growing trend of shrink flation. The next time you're shopping, check closely. This life cereal box recently got taller, but it lost two and a half ounces. That's almost a bowl and a half of cereal. Experts call it shrinkflation. It's a very sneaky way to pass on a price increase. They know consumers will notice a direct price increase,

but they won't notice if the product gets a little bit smaller. We found some products. You see the Charmin here. If you look really, really closely, you'll see the size of the rolls went from 396, 396 sheets, the 366 sheets. You wouldn't know it. It says super mega on top. And here's my favorite Gatorade.

It kind of grew a waistline here. It used to be 32 ounces. Now it is the same you can see it there. Yeah, she's right that Gatorade bottle's looking good. You're like damn what you've been doing Gatorade? You stopped drinking Gatorade? But yes, from soda to cereal and even toilet paper, companies are secretly shrinking the size of their products, but you pay the same. And you probably noticed this, right? Back in the day, you bought a big bag of chips.

Everyone ate. These days, you open the bag, and there's just one chip holding the size to make it look big. And the worst part about shrinkation is that if you complain about, guys, I think these double stuffed Oreos are actually 1.7 time stuffed. People are just going to be like, all right, buddy, why don't you put on this jacket and get in this white van? We got you. We're going to find the rest of the Oreos.

The toilet paper one is probably the worst. Yeah. Because I'm sure, like, me, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm sitting there. I'll be like 394, 395. And then it's just like, ah! In fact, you know what, this should be a law. If companies are going to shrink their products, they should at least have to tell us they're doing it. Yeah, because right now, they're being slick. Acting like drug dealers, cutting their product to stretch their supply. Now we're gonna try to catch them out. Wait a minute, this yogurt is mostly burp poop. You trying to get killed, Trader Joe? You're trying to get killed?

But let's move on from America's current problem to America's eternal problem, gun violence. This week, Texas released its report on how the Uvalde Police Department handled the school shooting that the cops, and I'm quoting here, sucked ass. But the report added that even if the police response had been flawless, it wouldn't have saved most of the kids because someone armed with an AR-15-style rifle can just do too much damage too fast. So the solution to try and stop the next shooting is obvious. And no, don't say it's banning the era of 15s, that's racist.

The Constitution is very clear about who has rights in this country. It goes corporations, guns, children, then guns again, then the national anthem, then women, but only women who are holding a gun. That's pretty much it. But apparently, apparently if you're open-minded, there are lots of ways to stop school shootings without getting rid of guns. In fact, check out what this one school district in Texas is getting up to. Here in North Texas, the Dallas ISD is trying something new to keep students safe. It is requiring clear or mesh backpacks for students in 6th through 12 grades.

Students will be able to carry a small pouch inside the bag that isn't clear to hold cell phones, money, and hygiene products. Clear backpacks. Are they effective in keeping weapons out of schools? Experts say crime does not necessarily go down because of them. Well intended, but relatively ineffective. You can still hide a weapon inside of a clear backpack, inside of a book, a cutout in a book, inside of clothing.

This video shows how easy it is to hide weapons, regardless of having a clear backpack or not. God damn! How many guns did that guy have in his pants? Did you see that? Because like it starts it out scary and then at some point it was just like a magic trick. It was like, oh, and this one, and this one, and this behind, and the th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and the the the the the the their their their their their th and th. And th. And tho, in a tho, in a th. And th. And th. And th. And, in a th. And, in a th. And, in a th. And, in a th. And, and a th. And, and a th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, was just like a magic trick. It was like, oh, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this behind you here in AIR 15. But for real, what are we doing here, people? I'm constantly amazed at how America is willing to get rid of everything, except guns, everything will be considered.

All right, let's get rid of normal back back-oaks. Yeah, yeah, they could be hiding the guns anywhere. In fact, now that I think about it, just get rid of all the kids in school. That way the guns can finally go there in peace. I think we solved it. And you know who's really going to be negatively affected by these clear backpacks? It's all those jocks who are secretly smart. Yeah. Because now they're just to cover my boners, man, I swear.

Dost thou not believe it's me? And clearly those things are not going to stop shootings. There's only one thing that is going to stop shootings. And we all know what it is. Just cut to the chase and arrest all the weird kids. Yeah, it's not fair, and it's definitely not legal. It's not a good idea. But it is a good idea. All right, finally, let's talk about the United States Secret Service.

The people who wore one tiny airpone before Airpars were cool. Recently, the Secret Service has been all over the news because the January 6th committee wants to know what information they have about President Trump's actions on the day his fans went tailgating in Nancy Pelosi's office. So the committee told the Secret Service, give us all the text messages that you guys were sending that day. But the Secret Service said this. The Secret Service says it cannot recover the deleted text messages from January 5th and 6th of last year.

The Washington Post is reporting the agency as no new text to provide to Congress and that any other messages exchanged between agents around the time of the attack were purged. The Secret Service claims these messages were erased as part of a device replacement program, adding any insinuation that the Secret Service maliciously deleted text messages following a request is false. Those Secret Service texts are gone, gone, gone. Gone. Like, really, not ever to be recovered.

Wow. This is so sad. The Secret Service lost all the texts from January 6th because they were doing a device replacement program. What a perfect, I mean, terrible thing. Oh. Why do I feel like this is the same kind of device replacement program you do when your partner asks you to explain where you were the other night? Yeah, I was due for upgrade because what me and Keisha were up to so I had to, yeah, Apple calm me and yeah. And you know, it's interesting how they're saying, once you delete a text, there's no way to retrieve it.

Yeah, once they delete a text, it's gone. Because best believe if any of us lost a text, the Secret Service would find it. They would find the shit out of it. You'd be like, th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, thin' tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi. thi. thi. they'''''''''''''a. thean, they's, they's, thi. And, thi. And, You'd be like, oh, I deleted it. They'd be like, give me that phone. They'd be like, ha, so this is what you were doing with Keisha. Ah, shit. And look, I know many people are angry saying, like,

I can't believe the Secret Service isn't handing over these texts. But I don't know, maybe it's because I'm South African, I just assumed this would happen. Yeah, that's the Secret Service. That's their job, right? To keep secrets. In fact, if they give you the text, you should fire them, Snitch. The real question we should be asking is, why are they even texting? Imagine this, the capital was being overrun by a mob of Facebook comments come to life. People are trying to hang the vice president, and the secret service is texting? Guys, what is the secret? the secret? the secret? the secret? the secret? the secret? the secret? T, the secret? T, the secret? T, the secret? T. the secret? T. the secret? T. the secret? T. the secret? T. the secret? The the secret? The the secret? The the secret. th. th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. The th. The th.ing? Guys, what is this thing for? Hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah, hey, yeah. What, uh, hey, hey, hey, what? You're telling me all that shit was happening and someone's using text, they're just like,

hey guys, just wanted to warn you, the vice president is in Asia. Ah, sorry, auto-correct, I meant danger. The vice president is in danger, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, the problem, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is,correct, I meant danger. The vice president is in danger. Send back, never mind, the problem solved itself. And I know a lot of people think that this was a huge conspiracy, I do. People say that this is proof that the Secret Service was in on the Capitol plot. But it could also be a much simpler answer. Maybe they just don't want people to see the text that they were sending about their boss. Yeah.

Like, I know I wouldn't want that. Can you imagine being at the congressional hearing? And Liz Cheney's like, so, Agent Johnson, what did you mean when you texted President Poop Emojy is Baby Cry toing Emojee and car emogy? I'd like, uh, I'd rather that, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, I'd to go, I'd to go, I'd to go, I'd to go, I'd to go, I'd to go, I'd to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that. I'd that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that, that, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'd th. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd that that the thr-I thr-I thr-I thr-I thr-I thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. we go, let's check on traffic with our very own Roywood Jr. everybody. What's going on, Roy? How you doing? What's happening in the traffic? So, what's happening in the traffic?

What do you want to know? What do you want to know? Why do you want to know? Why you want to know? I don't know why we always have to fight about this, Roy, I want to know what the traffic is, okay? Oh, you want to know the traffic? Yeah. Okay, all right, all right. That is a car.

When there is a group of them, it is called a traffic. So that is a group of them, it is called a traffic. So that is a group of traffics all moving around. I mean, honestly, like, what we really need to be talking about is how the price of gas of gas went down, and that's why traffic went up because everybody outside driving again. It's terrible. This is terrible. No, you can't say it's terrible. You are the ones standing here saying you want the price of gas to go down. That's what you said.

When I said that? You said that on the show. On this show? I said it on this show? On this show? Which other show? You can't prove that we've got no experience shrinkflation all the time. Being a drive-through, you see that big, that big burger on the picture. They show you a perfect burger and you go around

to pick up your burger and then burger is shrink. That's shrinkflation. It's all type of shrinkflation. And that's just one of the many forms. That's different. That's different. That's different. That'stalking about just now. There's a lot of different shit. Let me ask you a serious question. Yeah. Have you noticed that you've been getting less condom? Like, on a three pack, you've noticed that you've been getting less condom? You're saying, have I noticed that there are fewer condoms in the pack?

Oh, don't, don't, it's people, it don't make me explain this. Less, like, like, you don't like when you have like a fitted hat at first, it come down to here and then it just be sitting up there. Like out of nowhere, you don't have as much fitted hat. The fitted hat, you're like, where's the rest of the... Do you even use contraception? Do you even understand? Let's on the roll. Can we talk about the traffic? Look, here, here's the other thing about th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, things things, things, things, things, things, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, you thi, you the the the the the the thi, you the thi, you don't the the the the the the the the thi, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you the the the the the the the the the the the th, you thi, you thi, you thi, you that, that, like that, like that, like, like, like, like, the the that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the that, like, the the the the that, the th Can we talk about the traffic?

Look, here's the other thing about shrinkflation. We don't need to just focus on what's happening now. We got to go back to the source of shrinkflation. The first group of people that started shrinkflation. We got to shut them down, and then that's how you stop all the shrink. The shrinkflation ain't new. This been going going you don't did it first, the Girl Scouts. The Girl Scouts did it first. Don't you trust them little berets?

Them Girl Scouts, when you used to buy Girl Scout cookies, the Girl Scout cookie boxes would be this long back in 84. Now, every year, shorter and shorter and shorter. The cookies is cookies, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, think, th, th, th, thin, thin' th, th, th, th, th, th, thin' thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And thi. And th. And th, th, th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and thi. And thi. And, and thi. And thi. And, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii are thinner and thinner and thinner. And that's not right, man. That's not right. Then to add insult to injury, at least with these corporations, they're all you made the box of cereal smaller, but at least they leave the regular logo and the regular, like picture of the cereal

on the box. You know what the Girl Scouts do? You know what these little little evil barets do? Not only do the Girl Scouts shrink-flate the box, and all that they charge you more money for less product. Then they put a picture on the box of them having a good time with your money. How disrespectful is that? You want to talk about the traffic now? No, I feel like we ran out of time once again, Roy. No, we can talk about it.

No, no, we're good. We got this. We can talk about. This always happens and then we, you know, it's fine. That's my bad. Next time? Next time I got you on traffic, for real. I'll be leaving when I see it. I'm for real, I've got you. I feel like you promised me this much traffic and then it shrinks down. What did you just say?

Thank you so much, Wray, Junior. All right, we're going to take a quick break. But before we go, don't eat that apple. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zipruiter.com. Zip Recruiters smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job,

zip recruiters powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it. And you can use zip recruiters pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let zip recruiter find find what the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th the them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address, Zip Recruiter.com slash zip recruder. The smartest way to hire. Welcome back to your day's show.

If you spent any time online at all, you know that there are conspiracy theories about everything. The war in Ukraine is scripted. The FBI did January 6th. The Illuminati is real, but Biance isn't in it. But those are just the obvious ones, which is why we have a special segment that reveals the conspiracies you never even knew about. Conspiracies, they're everywhere. Or are they nowhere? Or is that exactly what they want you to think? So that's where my wallet is. Well, for every they they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, the their their their their their their they, their their their their their their their their their their the, their is the, thoome. thoome. thoom. thiase is. thiase is. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. But, the. But, the. But, the. But, the. But, the. But, the. But, th exactly what they want you to think? So that's where my wallet is.

Well, for every they, there's a me. I'm Kevin Matthew Kelp. Follow me as I pull back the curtain to find the truth behind the curtain. This is Project Conspiracy. A lot of the most well-known conspiracies are about what goes into our bodies, fluoride, microchips, spiders, the Chinese sent to crawl into our mouths while we sleep. But there might be one government spyware that we've all been overlooking. That's right.

Fruit. Let's go. Look, every single piece of fruit has a sticker on it. Apples. Pairs. Whatever these are. Even the pineapples. Oh, God! Yeah. These fruit stickers were everywhere. But they weren't the fun kind that say things like Grape Job or I Love You Barry Much. Instead they were filled with mysterious numerical codes.

Granny Smith. How do they know my grandmother's last name? I tried everything I could to crack this conspiracy. I listed every number I could think of, even seven. But it was no use. The codes were unbreakable. If I was ever going to blow this conspiracy wide open, I'd have to go undercover. I love fruit. Just love buying fruit. Just an ordinary guy buying lots of fruit.

You're probably wondering why I'm buying so much fruit. It's because I'm having a fruit party later. Okay. Unfortunately, you can't come, so. Okay. Yeah. Hey, I did notice that on all the fruit they have these stickers. You don't know what that's about, do you?

Um, I guess so they can are you talking to? Oh my God. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Okay, so thanks to my espionage skills, we've established that the codes are used for tracking. But now it's time to find out who's doing the tracking. Does anybody know where these little stickers? Does anybody know where these little stickers? I the thi the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi st st st st st st st st. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. to. to. to. th. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. I was able to find some answers by hacking the deep state. Meet the IFPS, aka the International Federation for Produce Standards, aka a secret global cabal because I've never heard of it before. And guess what? They're

in cahoots with the FDA, aka the government. The FDA regulates the adhesives on these stickers and they just so happen to be the same shadow organization that recommends you eat three to four servings of fruit every day. An amount of fruit so ridiculous that anyone who's tried to do it has probably consumed two to three stickers without even realizing it. Are these stickers tracking the fruit? Or maybe they're tracking. Ew. So is the government really trying to trick us into eating stickers?

Something every teacher from kindergarten through college told me not to do? There's only one way to find out. Let's see if my stomach can handle the truth. Should have gone with an apple. It was immediately clear that eating the sticker turned me into a walking GPS for the government. Everywhere I went I was being followed by Big Brother. The police watched my every move. Secret agents pretended to read newspapers.

Hey, not so sneaky with your special spy gadget now, are you? The evidence couldn't be clearer. The FDA is tracking us through fruit stickers. More like the food and deceit administration. That's actually pretty good. I should write that down. God, where do you come up with this stuff, Kevin? Ah! Yeah! And now that I've uncovered the truth, I can't be a part of this corrupt sticker system anymore.

And luckily, I don't need the FDA and their spy fruit, because some of the best fruit actually is regulated by mother nature. Oh, yeah! because some of the best fruit actually is regulated by mother nature. Oh yeah. It tastes like freedom. Yeah. It's a little funky. Okay? It burns a little. It burns a little. Oh, ha ha! Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at zip recruruiter.com slash zip.ziprecruiter's smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, zip recruiters powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it and you can use zip recruiters pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage

them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address, zip recruiter.com slash zip. Zip recruiter, that's Zip Recruiter.com slash Zip. Zip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire. Welcome back to the game show. My guest tonight is a long-time NASA employee who oversaw the program that launched the largest and most powerful satellite into space. For the first time ever, thanks to the James Webb Space Telescope, we are seeing deeper into the universe than ever before. So please welcome, Gregory Robinson. Mr. Robinson, welcome to the Daily Show.

I'm glad to be here. I'm so excited to have you here because this is one of the biggest stories. Everyone saw it on social media. There was a picture of like, what seemed like the universe, everything. And then it was like, here's the old one, here's the new one, and then we all had to act like we knew why that was important. But you're actually the person behind why it happened and how it got together. So let's start with this. For everybody to be on the same page, mostly me.

Why is this jump in telescope technology so impressive? And when we compare it, we compare it to Hubble, which was state of the art 30 years ago. And Webb gives us a much bigger mirror at 6.5 meters versus 2.4 for Hubble. And the infrared technology, if you think about looking like night vision, you can see heat through something. So it gives us an infrared capability so we can look through the dust and clouds and go to much further back. Of course, our science instruments are a lot more complex too,

so the clarity is a lot better and the depth is a lot better. What I know is really confusing sometimes when we're talking about anything in space, is that sometimes they say things in terms of time, and sometimes they say things in terms of distance. And it gets a little, you know, they'll be they'll be they'll be they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll gets a little you know they'll be like we're seeing something from 13 billion years ago and I'm like I'm sorry what? What does that even mean? Well sometimes I say what as well? So we're looking at light traveling 186,000 miles per second I can imagine that so we're looking at light something that happened billions of years ago, and it's just reaching

us now. So it's the time-distance travel of light, and that's actually what we're looking at. And so we can see what happened a really long time ago, somewhere else out there. What do we use this information for? Will it tell us that aliens like left a long time now they're already here? Does it tell us where we're going to go after we destroy Earth? What is it telling us? Well, you know in astrophysics and astronomy, we're always looking to answer questions Where do we come from? How do we fit into this universe?

Are we alone? Which is another one we're looking for? So it helps inform us on how we fit into the universe. And as far as light travel, I remember growing up in the country and shining a flashlight up in the sky and said, I wonder how long it's taken it to get to certain points. Oh wow. And which is same kind of thing as light travel. That's what you're looking for. It's interesting you say that growing up of the most fascinating journeys I've ever come across because you grew up your parents were sharecroppers in rural Virginia

Right you went to a segregated school You didn't have the education that you wanted to to and then here you are the man who was brought in to? to basically get this ten billion dollar telescope up and run it was failing before you stepped in they called you and they're like you do this and you did it. How, like, how, where does that love come from and how did you get into this world? So, a couple of things. One is, that education in the segregated schools was excellent. We had some of the best teachers in the world. Many of them were far more educated than the teachers in other schools because they couldn't get jobs in industry like they can today. So we had great teachers who really nurtured us and cared about us.

So my beginnings were very strong. And so of course I lived through the Apollo time. I was a little kid then, which excited me, but that still didn't get my interest in space. So I was in college and friends of mine actually did internships at NASA and they made it sound so interesting. And a few years later, I started my career in the industry, but a few years later I actually joined NASA. And four and a half years ago, there were some issues. My boss asked me to try to get over the goal line.

Now, I will say a lot of the work was already done, already completed. So thanks to the team for that. And this team is an incredibly, incredibly smart team of people, if you could imagine at NASA. So Smart's is never a shortage in NASA. And certainly not for this team. And this team is not just NASA. It's our whole industrial base, plus the European Space Agency and Canadian Space Agency to allow our big partners. Let me ask you a question, and I believe that you're retiring soon, correct? Yes, I'm retiring soon, life comes at me fast.

Wow. That's sad, because you've been around for so long, you've been doing such a great job. I don't know NASA's going to miss you. But because you're retiring, I feel like you could probably tell me a few things you wouldn't be allowed. It's like, you know, when you're leaving, like, so have you, have you taken any pictures and then seen something that you, like, they don't tell us about, like, you know what I mean? Like, let me put it this way. In New York, if you have like a superpowered telescope and another person's apartment, you might see some things out thi........ And I, and th. And I, and I, and thi. And, and thi. And, and thi. And, and thi. And, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they. Like, they. Like, they. And, they. And, they're. Like, they're. Like, they're. Like, they're. Like, like, like, like, like, like,the pictures? You can just wink if I'm close. Well, I think your telescope and New York example, you probably see something you've already seen before. I think in our case, we will certainly see things we haven't seen before, but a lot clearer.

And we will learn things that we can never even imagine. So as we answer questions, we also will create new questions for the future. What are we using the answers to these questions to do? You know, I understand there is some importance to it, but how does it help what happens on earth or what are people hoping we'll learn from these telescopes and what they're revealing? Well, one, we learn a lot about physics physics. if you think about it, if you go back many, many years and you think of the physics textbooks, we have information today that wasn't there

then, and if you think about, geez, just a hundred years ago, we thought that was just one galaxy in the whole universe, ours. And Hubble, Hubble telescope, named after him, discovered more galaxies. So we know a lot more about who we are, where we are, where we come from. And so that's on an astrophysics stamp side. But other science missions tell us a lot about the Earth, how the interaction with the Sun, how that impacts it. So the Earth has a system with an own solar system.

I see. So now that you have the James Webb Telescope, I mean, Hubble was until a few months ago, you know, was everybody's bay in space. You know, and then I just felt a little, you know, I felt a little sad on Hubble's behalf. Everyone's just like, ah, look how shit Hubble's on. What happens to Hubble now? So Hubble has been operating more than the the the the the tha tha thiiiiiia thia thia thia thia thia thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thathea, thathea, thatat. that. that. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thoooooooooooooooooooooo. So, th Hubble now? So Hubble has been operating more than 30 years and again it was a state of the art. It's going to continue operating.

Okay, okay. So there are still things we benefit from Hubble. So we're still looking forward to a long-time operation. Is there something Hubble can do that the web telescope can't do? Not at the level we're talking about. Okay. Not at all. And just, I don't know, two or three months, well two or three months ago, Hubble discovered a star that was 900 million years after the Big Bang. So wrap that around your head, 900 million years after Big Bang. Now, in space, that's still a long time, but when you're talking billions, that's looking back quite a bit. That is really fascinating. I mean, I just love the idea that,

you know, you're part of this mission, you get this telescope, you know, you have to shoot it up into space, and then you start taking the pictures together and to get to unblur the pictures. Because when you take the picture, I've heard it basically looks like nothing. That's what I've been told. It just looks like somebody has shown you a picture of night, and then somebody sits there and they go like, oh, now I see something. Like, who's doing that and how do you know that you actually are seeing anything or if it's like? looking at. Okay. And so they do some what we call processing to make the pictures look

more presentable to human eye. Right, to idiots. You can say it. I understand. I know. I'm one of those humans too, thank God. So the scientists process it, they use the science instruments and then they have some post processing beyond the instruments to make it look like what we've seen recently. But they actually know what they're looking at when they receive the data. Okay so they get it. We just, they make it simpler for us. Absolutely. So I would love to know where your journey goes from here. I mean you've been part of the biggest discovery or invention that humans have ever created. to where to, you're from here? You retire and then what do you do? So certainly? You've the th th th th th the th th th th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. they're th. the. they're thrown. throwne. throoooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're have ever created. Where to from here? You retire and then what do you do? So certainly web is done from a development standpoint. So now it's the scientist's job for the next 20 plus years.

I know they would do well. So it's just that time for me. I'm not running from or to anything. It's just time. But I have as often say, don't let the good looks fool you, I'm still a young man. But I'm getting up there. So I still plan to do some other things, still exploring what I'm going to do when I grow up. I'm looking for over to it. I love this.

Thank you so much for being on the show. Thank you for explaining it. Thank you for helping creative. Please say what's up to the team. We're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. Thank you so much. Please consider supporting Keane, well that's our show for tonight, but before we go, please consider supporting Keene, an organization providing free fitness and recreation programs for youth with disabilities. If you want to help them offer equal opportunities for recreation, fitness, and friendship, then please donate at the link below. Until the next time, stay safe out there.

And remember, if your boss ever complains that you're not doing enough work, you just tell them. Shringflation's a bitch, baby. Watch the Daily Show, Weeknights at 11 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.