The Daily Show: Ears Edition - This Week's News | MAGA Rages Over Bad Bunny, Trump in the Epstein Files “A Million Times”

Episode Date: February 14, 2026

Catch up on all the biggest news of the week with Jon Stewart and Jordan Klepper. Jon takes a look at Trump’s Racist Obama Meme, while conservatives crash out over Bad Bunny's love-infused Super Bowl halftime show. Jordan unpack's Lutnick’s family lunch with Epstein on his island, Bondi’s feisty congressional grilling, an olympian with a confession, and Trump's "undisputed" fake coal award. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Ninja Lux Cafe, the three-in-one machine that makes espresso, drip coffee, and cold brew. No barista skills required. You're listening to Comedy Central. Super Bowl, Cindy! And what a game! What a game it was! Man, if you like high-scoring contests with the outcome is in doubt

till the final, suspenseful, climactic seconds, this was not the game for you. Slow, grinding. It nearly took all the fun out of watching the Patriots lose. I was saluting the Patriots. And their one year rebuild. But you know what? At least we had our snacks.

That's what's the important part. I'll be honest with it. I went with the whole shabang. Six-foot hoagie, wings, nachos, casso, hot and cold running budwash. Am I missing any of the classics? What would you have as hate? Super Bowl snack.

You know, I am on a carnivore diet, so I just eat meat and fernments. Did this say his diet is meat and fernments? Have to be so pluribus. Why? Carol, would you like some fermints? Non-alian species to another. It is a Super Bowl party. I don't care if your diet is meat.

and fermints at the Super Bowl party. So I'm going to probably have yogurt. Super Bowl. For the Super Bowl, you're having yogurt. You eat meat and ferments, and for the Super Bowl, you went. One thing to bring measles and polio back. I think I speak for the entire nation when I say,

if you ever show up at my Super Bowl party with the top of yoke. You couldn't just muster up a little trunk bear jerky? Like what? He was a grind, brought you a six-pack yogurt. Time show. This year, sponsored this year by Firmance, Firmance. It puts the fart in RFK.

This year, Super Bowl halftime show starts Benito, Antonio Martinez. And he was out there and delivered a performance that was, as they say, in Puerto Rico, quite good. Mr. Bunny killed it despite being trapped in an escapable sugarcane hedge maze. He had Lady Gaga. He had The Mandalorian. He threw

a wet. And he even had the time to make a con head service stop. Mid concert. It's okay. He did it all. Reboot the box and enjoy. De Nata. It was

joyful. And infectious and... The single worst halftime show in NFL history. Oh, right, right, right. I forgot. I forgot. For a significant portion of Americans, everything that happens must uniformly be filtered through a particular magacentric worldview and judged on how well it conforms to that traditional vision, which doesn't include knowing where the bibliotheque is. To get up there and perform the whole

the whole show in Spanish is a middle finger to the rest of America. The majority of people in the audience had no idea what was being said. Is it too much to ask to put it in English? Not one word of English? Not one word of English? One word! Here's some English for you.

Who put Thanos over here in the air friar? Did they... Did they... The Fox decided they needed an actual buffalo wing to comment? that tongue the game? Dude, seriously, we all like to get sun, but I mean, I'm no dermatologist, but be there tomorrow morning as early as you can be there. It's like the guy's couch is one of those chicken rotisseries. He's watching the game like, tell me it. I got like denim. Seriously,

how many glizzies do you gobble? So much to ask that this great nation can enjoy in its mother tongue. It's why the good people at TP USA went through the trouble of putting on an alternative All-American halftime show that celebrated this beautiful country in the King's English

we all share. Thank you. The up-jumping of said boogie insofar as the diggy, diggy-diggie. Dibang a debang. Miss Bad Bunny, just to watch an old man in acid-washed jorts sink his way through a

Free-taped Baw-D-Baw performance? Surely the TPUSA halftime show was a broader spectacle of Americana to rival this most malevolent of bunnies. Looks like somebody dipped into the ferments. I've never seen a cello player who looks like the porn version of a cello player. They didn't...

Um, chica-a-bun. Mom chikabon. I'm sorry, let me skip forward a little bit. There's got to be something else worth missing out on Bad Bunny 4. Wait, wait, it isn't? What exactly is so hard about being country nowadays? I just want to catch my fish, drive my truck, drink my beer.

So far it sounds relatively easy. Am I missing a heavier lift? Sir, again, I must insist. all of these seem like achievable goals. I mean, you're wearing boots right now. Country, that is so difficult. People throw the word hero around, but this is a bold opinion to hold in your genre, sir.

Really risking it all going up against country music's trans cartel. By the way, also, if you did get canceled, really more time for the fishing and the mowing. truck beer drinking and if I could just remind you really just the important thing feeding the dog again I can't I can't stress this enough

in the song between the beer and the boots and the fishing really just feed your fucking dog every day so but you know what there was a bigger reason why TPSA had to do their own halftime show because the NFL's halftime show

failed its one true mandate doing a halftime show in all Spanish is not unifying. The Super Bowl halftime show divided in a time that's supposed to be a unifying moment. They could have found somebody more uniting.

Why is it the Super Bowl halftime entertainer's job to unify the country? There another person whose job description is much more along those lines. Let me ask you a question. What did that person?

do to unify the country. In a social media post, President Trump mocked Bad Bunny's performance, calling it, quote, absolutely terrible, one of the worst ever. Then adding, quote, nobody understands a word this guy is saying. Nobody? I love that he thinks Bad Bunny is the one guy in the world. That's fluent in Spanish. Nobody understands it's a dead language.

You know, the right has a lot of balls complaining that bad bunny didn't do enough to unify this country when you only found out a few days ago that Puerto Rico is a part of it. And before you get... And before you get your panties in a torsion. Another unifying pro tip might be to tell your... guy to stop tweeting out racist slop during, I don't know, Black History Month. The White House facing backlash over a racist depiction of the Obama's contained in a video post on the president's truth social account.

At the end, the video suddenly flashed to a clip of the Obama's faces superimposed on the heads of cartoon apes. Oh, ladies and gentlemen, no, before you get upset, just know the racist video in question was not in Spanish. Rest easy We're starting to heal I mean if 20 minutes a bad bunny's halftime show destroyed the country's unity

I think even MAGA would be terribly upset that the unifier in chief would be sharing a video this fucking racist Or would that? I mean this is probably crazy but would they try and justify it? It wasn't a video that was racist It was a video that ended with a racist thing

Which doesn't make, that doesn't matter. If you say the end word at the end of the sentence, it still ruins the whole sentence. There are certain things in this world where, there are certain things in this world where placement is less important than presence. Oh, I don't have gonorrhea. The tip of my penis has gonorrhea. You're going to judge my entire.

penis by the gonorrhic tip who's the racist now all agree that the last part where he compared the obamas to apes was definitely racist at the end of the day human beings often point to other human beings and notice that they kind of look like this animal or that animal you know certain anthropomorphic comparisons that historically have been used to justify oh i don't know slavery But go ahead. I apologize for interrupting you. I did know a girl that looked like a guy that looked like a monkey, but he was white. He was my friend Joey, and he was white.

So in terms of racist justifications, he's blown right past the, I have a black friend. And moved right into the, I have a white friend who looks like a monkey. And poor Joey. Poor white friend Joey. What a way to find out you've got... What a way to find out you've got resting primate face. Joey, for I sitting at home, watching his friend on television. You knits out of his wife's hair.

Poop and jerk on. Not even the cameramen have heard all this shit. Actual Republicans who criticized it. Senator Tim Scott of South Carolina, the Senate's only black Republican calling the president's post the most racist thing I've seen out of this White House. Wow. By the way, Tim Scott's face, that is the face almost all Republicans make in private when they've been told what Trump said. But seriously, though, Senator, is it the most racist

thing that's come out of this White House? Well, survey says, congratulations. You've won the opportunity to probably have to say this shit again next week. But Tim Scott's criticism forced the president to delete the video, which puts the president in an uncomfortable position, a Sophie's choice. He deleted the video. Does he admit that he's racist? Or does he admit that he just made a simple mistake? Let's see how he threads the needle. Mr. President, a number of Republicans are calling on you to apologize for that post. Is that something you're going to do? No, I didn't make a mistake.

So we're going with racist. In the example of a performer you don't particularly care for, the upset is justified. But in the example of the President of the United States, sharing a racist meme, well, Get over yourselves. Press Secretary Carolyn Levitt said, and I quote, please stop the fake outrage and report on something today

that actually matters to the American public. Which is fucking crazy. Because at this point in the MAGA movement, all they have is fake outrage. Olympic outrage. American freestyle skiers

are facing backlash following controversial comments made about representing the U.S. What many call anti-Americans. American rhetoric. I'm disgusted by it. It's so upsetting. It's so inappropriate. This guy hates his country. He's clearly ashamed

to be wearing the flag. Go back home to Oregon in this case and march with Antifa. What? I think this is true. Do you want our nation's greatest athletes joining Antifa? What? It's not the solution you think. Sir, you have abs of steel and powerful

glutes. Grab a black bandana and get in the fight. But oh my God, I just first time here. What did this Olympian say. It must be way more upsetting and outrageous than what the President of the United States racist

memes are. It brings up mixed emotions to represent the U.S. right now, I think. It's a little hard. There's obviously a lot going on that I'm not the biggest fan of. That's the hate mongering. That's the most laid-back mongering.

That was like the hacky sack of political condemnation. It's like, bro. I feel like right now, the country shouldn't be shwag. It should be diggity dank. And by the way, Maga,

you want to hear the good straight up? Anti-American shit? Talk to your boss. Our country is now a cesspool. We are a nation in decline. We're in a failing country. We're in a country that's being laughed at.

We're a dumping ground. We're like a garbage can. Our country is going to hell. We have blood, death, and suffering. on a scale once unthinkable. A third world, hellhole, ruled by censors, perverts, criminals, and thugs. I mean, after reading the Epstein files, it's hard to argue with the last point. Bothered by the, I don't know, man, things feel pretty bad there and kind of conflicted,

and not bothered by the straight up anti-American vitriol from Dear Leader. How about you're wearing the flag? You were representing your country. Yes. And you can save your other comments for when you're not wearing the flag. Yes. That's it. It's a flag. of, I didn't think, it's a flag.

Freedom of speech very clearly states, you cannot shout fire in a crowded theater or smack talk America while sporting any national symbols. That's, it's right. So if I were to show you, let's say a video of President Donald Jesus Trump, shitting on America and Americans

while sporting the very insignia that you deem so sacred, what if I showed you a video like that? I'm sure you'd just show them. This country has gotten bloated and fat and disgusting. Oh, but that's a pin. It's got to be cloth and sewn on. And don't say, oh, yeah, but Donald Trump wasn't overseas

because we have video of Donald Trump insulting America while standing next to Putin in Finland. And don't say, well, the skier was dry humping our beautiful flag. No, that was your guy. So the point is this. When did the right become such f***ing pussies? When? Remember 2017?

Remember what you hated about liberals? Oh, perpetually offended. Safe spaces. Censoring free speech, culture of victimhood. Remind you of anyone? I can't go 15 minutes without listening to country music. I need a separate show. Oh, that skier triggered me.

I can't sleep. Not the best imitation, but you know what I'm going for. This whole culture war, this weekend has really demonstrated one thing. It's that for all of MAGA's triumphalism, it's not a movement that seems confident in its position. These people who control every branch of government are so triggered by someone singing in Spanish for 20 minutes, they need to create their own safe space alternative halftime show, where Trad Bunny over here is singing songs about how he can't even enjoy sitting in a truck and drinking beer because he knows that somewhere out there, there's a trans. It's actually

f***ing pathetic. The gap between the power you all wield I'm not done! The gap between the power you all wield and the victimhood you all claim is the real offense. If you didn't actually have the power to do so much damage in our country,

I think we all dismiss it as a weak and pathetic pity party. That's what you're throwing. What kind of snacks would you? you have at a weak and pathetic pity party. I'm talking to brought a happy yogurt. That's right. Cafe quality brews without a barista.

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We are now well into season five of the Epstein Files, and it's not ending anytime soon. Over in England, they've already devoted Prince Andrew down to street urchin Andrew. But the people still want more. Overseas, someone heckled King Charles today because of his brother Andrew's ties to the convict. sex offender and financier. Charles, how long have you known about Andrew and Edstein? Wow, wow. The new season of Billy on the street is dark.

And buddy, look, buddy, I gotta say, be careful. This is the king you're talking to here. He's got actual knights to protect him. Sir Anthony Hopkins and Sir Elton John are gonna fuck you up, man. Meanwhile, over here in America, members of Congress now have special access to the unredacted Epstein files. Although, seeing how the redacted files already mentioned Donald Trump thousands of times,

I doubt there's going to be anything new about him in the unredacted ones. Axios reports that after Congressman Jamie Raskin reviewed the unredacted Epstein files, he said Donald Trump's name appears, quote, more than a million times. A million times! There's not even that many references to Hamlet in the play

Hamlets. Now, maybe Raskin is just being hyperbolic, but if this is true, wouldn't it just be easier to call this the Trump files featuring Jeffrey Epstein? It's not the tongue. Just think about the effort it took Trump's Justice Department

to redact his name that many times. It's like trying to remove the pee from the water park. At this point, you just need to accept that it's in there and try not to think about it. But Donald Trump isn't the only member of the administration in the hot seat, so is Howard Ludnik, Commerce Secretary, and dad of a family staying at the White Lotus.

Now, a while back he went on a podcast, and he explained how he lived next door to Jeffrey Epstein, went to his house once in 2005, got the ick, and never saw him again. My wife and I decided that I will never be in the room with that disgusting. in person ever again. A one and absolutely done. One and absolutely done. I commend you, Howard, for your moral clarity. I mean, just to be, just to be, just to be crystal clear,

there was no part of you that was even just a little bit curious about Jeffrey Epstein. It's gross. That guy's gross. Right with my wife, he's gross. The guy's gross. He's gross. He's gross.

You're right. And if a man who works every day next to Stephen Miller thinks you're gross, that is truly saying something. And so, with his conscience clear, Secretary Lutnik carried his innocent heart to the Senate this morning to testify on broadband deployment.

Senator Van Hollen, I see you have a question perhaps about a fiber optic cable. Why did the Epstein file show you coordinating a meeting and planning a visit with Jeffrey Epstein on his private island? in December 2012. Excuse me, Senator? This is Howard One and Dun Lutnik

you're talking about here. There's no way that seven years after saying he would never see Epstein again that he visited him on his private islands. Okay, Howie, Howie! Set this guy straight. I did have lunch with him as I was on a boat going across on a family vacation. You're breaking my house.

heart? What was it all the one and the done and the gross of the gross? Was eating with a sex criminal your only option for lunch, Howard? You couldn't have tried making a P.B. and J just once? And the fact that you went there on a boat makes it so much worse. I mean, if you ran into him at a potbellies and he said, sit down, I would understand. But you actively navigated a ship towards the band. You're on there shouting, Captain, raise the sails and set a course for pedophile island. Howard, look, man, I don't think I could be more disappointed in you.

My wife was with me, as were my four children and nannies. I went to Epstein Island, but don't worry, I brought my kids. Isn't the excuse you think it is? Good God. I hate to ask it. I hate it. Howard, I mean, come on. What happened on that island? had lunch on the island. That is true for an hour,

and we left with all of my children. Father, the ear over here. Just to be clear, Howard Lutnik went from, I never saw that gross man again, to, okay, I did visit his island, to, hey, back off. I left with all my kids, okay? I counted them.

I'm the good guy here. You know what? Maybe I shouldn't be too harsh on Howard. Let he who has never sworn he cut ties with a convicted sex offender only to later dock his private yacht onto a private sex island for a quick lunch before continuing his family vacation with not one but multiple nannies cast the first one and done. I just hope this is the only hero I have

who has been besmirched by the Epstein files. New questions tonight about former Montana State professor and paleontologist Jack Horner, the scientist who helped inspire Jurassic Park. Little Jack Horner, tell me you just said in that fucking corner. In emails released from 2012, Horner thanks Epstein and The Girls for hosting him at the financier's New Mexico Ranch. He describes the property's geology, even mentioning its potential for fossils.

All right, all right, okay. You know what? You know what? Let's not jump to conclusions here? Maybe Jack was just there for fossils. Epstein asked me to go to the bone zone. I thought he meant to. something else. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. You know, and I hope it was just fossils. Because it would be so sad if we can't even trust paleontologists

not to be pedophiles now. You're supposed to be into really, really old stuff. That's like literally your whole thing. So we don't know if this guy was getting his own fossil dusted while he was there. But...

But... But... Don't make it. You're making it. You're making... making it dirty. But let me remind you that this is not the only connection Epstein had to dinosaurs, nor is it the weirdest.

Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. joined Epstein and his co-conspirator Galane Maxwell on a trip to North Dakota with a paleontologist on the search for dinosaur fossils. That is probably the most RFK way you could

be in the Epstein files. RFK is such a weird guy. I actually do believe he would have called Epsi and said, I don't want to come to the sex party, but call me if you want to dig up dino bones. Also, don't wear condoms. They give your penis

autism. Just... Okay. So... Okay. So, now, now, the question is how will the fossil hunting community respond to these revelations? The paleontology convention, DinoCon, has announced they are banning

anyone with ties to Jeffrey Epsi. from attending their events. That's right, everybody. Finally, some accountability at DinoCon. Just like we've always demanded, our pedophilic ruling elite may stalk the halls of power, but they will never stalk the hallways

of the Birmingham Hilton with a full weekend pass, Bronosaurus breakfast included. Let's kick things off with something uplifting. The Winter Olympics are underway, and if there's one thing I love, it's those post-victory interview, where medal winners from around the world

just radiate pure joy. I can't get enough of it. Congratulations so much on Olympic bronze. How are you? It's been the worst week of my life. Okay? Little less joy than I expected. That was Norway's Stirlahom Lagarde

who won bronze in the biathlon. But he got a bronze. I mean, I know it's not gold, but it's still bronze. So why is he so hard? upset? Half a year ago, I met the love of my life, the world's most beautiful, finest person. And three months ago, I made my biggest mistake, which was cheating on her. Okay, not how I would have celebrated in a postgame interview. I would have gone with a thank you mom and dad or a thank you God, but you know, instead you went with, guess what, world, I can't keep

it in my pants. You gotta say, buddy, buddy, there are other ways of dealing with your guilt. How about, I don't know, flowers, an edible arrangement, or burying the shame deep inside you and letting it fester until it explodes in a public meltdown in the freezer section of Trader Joe's? I need a pizza for one because I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. And by the way, if I was listening closely, did I hear that right that you met her six months ago?

I mean, you guys weren't even dating. long enough to fart in front of each other. You were still in that honeymoon phase where you pretend you need something in the other room and go fart there. You know what? You know what? If repairing your six-month situation ship is that important, I guess it's fine

to hijack the news cycle to talk about it. I'm sure your teammate, who won the gold, had nothing more important to draw attention to. And it was an emotional win for Norway's Johann Olavotton in men's 20-kilometer individual biathlon. The owner agent dedicated it to his... late teammates who died unexpectedly in December.

Our dead teammates! I was between honoring him or talking about how much pussy I was getting. I was just gone! You hijacked that to try to win back your fling? This is basically like if instead of interrupting Taylor Swift, Kanye had interrupted the in-memorium segment. You know what? You know what? Love is a rocky road sometimes. And if this big display helped our boy get his girl back, it was all worth it.

Well, speaking to a Norwegian tabloid, the former girlfriend says it's hard to forgive what he did and that she did not appreciate him making their private issue so public. Shit. Well, you know what? Look at the bright side. You didn't get your girlfriend back, but every woman you date from now on knows you can't go three months without cheating. I mean, no things aren't going well for you when even Lindsey Vaughn is like, this guy's having a bad week. I mean, what a mess.

This is why I'm always saying we need to keep men out of men's sports. You don't see the women's teams having this much drama. In the women's 15K individual biathlon, the gold goes to Julius Simone of France. Last fall, she was found guilty by a French court of theft and credit card fraud and given a three-month suspended prison sentence after stealing the credit card numbers of a teammate. What is it about this sport where you voluntarily freeze your generals off and spandex and shoot guns? that attracts so many lunatics. And, you know, to be fair to her,

it's not right to steal, but what do you think skiing with a gun even pays these days? Nobody's hiring. She probably gets one or two contracts a year to kill James Bond, but that barely covers rent, you know? Moving on to something else going downhill, America.

Today, Congress heard testimony from Pam Bondi, Attorney General and woman who stresses everyone out at Book Club, but it's not worth uninviting her because that'll become a whole thing. Congress had a lot of serious questions for her about everything from ICE to Epstein, and I'm sure she handled them with the grace and maturity we have come to expect from the Trump administration.

Are you kidding? I'm gonna answer the question the way I want to answer the question. I'm not gonna get in the gutter for her theatrics. But I finish, please. I'm not being rude, please. She doesn't say how much money she's. She took from Reid Hoffman, did you? You don't tell me anything.

No, I did tell you because we saw what you did in the Senate. Not even a lawyer. You're a failed politician, hypocrite. Shame on you. You don't get to reclaim your time. Your time is up. This is so ridiculous. Wow.

I mean, you could do something like that in Congress, but when I do it in a Chili's, I get banned for life. To be fair, though, you'd be in a bad mood, too, if you'd spent the last month redacting images of old man general, from the Epstein files, allegedly. Keep in mind, this is not how these hearings traditionally go. The Attorney General used to carry some level of seriousness and gravitas. It's only recently that they'd spend a congressional hearing

acting like a brady senior who got called into the principal's office. Suck my d-de-principal Gilbert. I already got to ASU, you can eat it. Now, look, her performance upset a lot of people because they were hoping for justice for Jeffrey Epstein's victims. But for Pam Bondi, there's only one victim in all of this. Have you apologized to President Trump? Have you apologized to President Trump?

All of you, I find it interesting that she keeps going after President Trump, the greatest president in American history. You sit here and you attack the president, and I am not going to have it. He is the most transparent president in the nation's history. Donald Trump, the Dow, the Dow right now, is over. the Dow is over $50,000. I don't know why you're laughing. Hold on. Oh, okay. Hold on.

Cup, you know, if you're going to embarrass yourself on national television like that, at least win a bronze medal first. Dignity. No dignity. You know, there is some good news for Donald Trump, and it comes right out of my own home state of Michigan, where the state motto is, welcome to Michigan. We're sorry about Kid Rock.

For decades now, the only bridge between Kays, Canada and Detroit has been the Ambassador Bridge. But in Trump's first term, Canada started construction on the Gordy Howe Bridge. And Trump was so excited about it that he even got a little poetic. America is deeply fortunate to have a neighbor like Canada. We have before us the opportunity to build even more bridges

and bridges of cooperation and bridges of commerce. Wow. Remember when he used to pretend to try? At the time, we were like, look at him phoning in diplomacy. Now we're like, dear God, please phone in some diplomacy. Anyway, the point is the bridge is almost complete, which will soon open up a public crossing that will enrich both our nations. Trump must be so excited for this new era of U.S.-Canadian friendship.

This morning, President Trump, threatening to block the opening of a brand new bridge between Canada and the U.S. I will not allow this bridge to open until the United States is fully compensated for everything we have given them. Or... Friennship. After all, what has friendship ever done for Trump other than associate him with the world's largest sex trafficking ring?

Still, Mr. President, this bridge is a win-win. Canada is paying for all of it, and they're going to share ownership with Michigan. We get a public bridge instead of having to pay tolls to the billionaire owner of the Ambassador Bridge. Why would the president oppose that? The owner of the older Ambassador Bridge,

Matthew Maroon lobbied the Trump administration on the same day the president unleashed his tirade about the Gordy House ban. Oh, I see. You were for it. Then one of your donors called you and you immediately turned against it. I mean, say what you want about Trump.

He has always transparent with his corruption. You never have to follow the money with him, you know? The money is like, I'm going to Donald Trump. I'll drop you a pin. We are in the thick of award season, which means only a few more weeks of pretending I saw ham net. Which I loved, obviously. All the ham and the nets. And when the ham went into the nets, you know, masterfully done.

Anyway, yesterday, another major award was presented. The Washington Coal Club presented the president with the inaugural Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal Award. The trophy says the undisputed championship. of beautiful, clean coal. Thank you, sir. Incredible. Bravo. Don't be jealous. Don't dispute the undisputable, you all.

Oh, no. Congratulations to Donald Trump on winning the inaugural award for undisputed champion of beautiful clean coal. And so soon after winning the inaugural FIFA Peace Prize. And if you're thinking,

this guy sure wins a lot of awards that were created just this year for him in particular. You're right. That's why tonight we're proud to present President Trump with the inaugural award for winning the most inaugural awards. Congratulations to our one and only nominee. But back to the Coal Award.

Mr. Trump, would you like to say a few garbled words? You've never had a better friend in the Oval Office than me, and I'm proud to officially name the undisputed... When did this come out, Mr. Speaker? Is it really undisputed? Seems like your brain is disputing it as you speak. Now, if this was a toddler saying their first words, I'd be actually very impressed.

But for a president of the United States who's actively having an aneurism, I'm also pretty impressed, which is why I'm presenting you with our inaugural best undisputterer. Congratulations, President Trump. Of course, of course, like any award recipient, Trump made sure to thank the little people

who did all the actual work. Our amazing coal miners, thank you very much, fellas. That's great. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You made them keep the hard hats on in the White House. You don't make NFL players wear their helmets when they visit. I mean, why did these poor guys have to? Is this like a Disney World thing

where they can't take off the costume in front of Trump because it'll ruin the magic for him? You know what? Sorry, I interrupted you. Mr. President, go ahead and show your appreciation for those coal miners in the most condescending way possible.

And you wouldn't want to do anything else. You wouldn't switch with a guy who had a beautiful penthouse apartment on Fifth Avenue. You wouldn't switch with that me. What the hell, man? Coal mining is their job. They're not gophers who have to keep digging. to file down their nails so they don't grow inward.

It's not like some biological necessity here. Although that being said, a coal miner switching with a New York billionaire is my favorite Olson Twins movie. Now, you know what? If this were just a silly little award to make the president feel like a special boy, no one would give a shit.

But, unfortunately, unlike the FIFA Peace Prize, the president seems intent on actually earning this award. The president just signed a new executive order for the Pentagon to buy electricity from U.S. coal-powered plants. Oh. Okay. You know what? I don't know what's worse.

The fact that Trump is directing our military to prop up the dying coal industry or that SEAL Team 6 will now have to travel on coal-powered helicopters. You know, like, Osama bin Laden. Put off your house. Just give me a Marco Polo. You know what? You know what, Donald Trump? You may want to promote coal, but don't forget, this country has something called

Environmental Protection Agency. And I think the EPA will have something to say about that. So the president this afternoon just stripped the EPA of its most powerful tool to regulate air pollution and greenhouse gases. God damn it! Where's Captain Planet when you need them? Okay, yep.

I'm being told Captain's, planet was deported to South Sudan. Shit, okay. Right. All right. Fine. So Trump is killing the EPA's ability to regulate all the worst sources of greenhouse gas emissions. Power plants, cars and trucks,

Sean Penn, all of them. It's going to have a devastating impact on human health and the environment. Personally, I'm concerned about this. I tell Americans who are concerned that the $1.3 trillion in savings does to public health and the environment based on science.

I tell them, don't worry about it. Oh, thank God. Because this seems devastating, but if you can't trust the undisputed champion of Beautiful Clean Coal, who can you trust? You know what, nothing I think about it. Are you saying don't worry about it, like it's going to be fine or don't worry about it,

like what a mobster says while he drives you to an empty field? I mean, Trump clearly doesn't understand the science behind this. Interior Secretary Doug Bergram, can you ease my mind about all the carbon dioxide we're going to be pumping into our already overheated atmosphere? But CO2 was never a pollutant. When we breathe, we emit CO2. Plants need CO2 to survive and grow. They thrive with more CO2s. Oh, now I understand. You're a fucking idiot. Okay. Okay. Look, nobody is saying CO2 shouldn't exist. The amount is the issue. We need water to live too, but the crew of the Titan submersible is not living extra hard right now. Explore more shows from The Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus.

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