The Daily Show: Ears Edition - This Week's Top Stories - Andrew Cuomo's Harassment Scandal & Idolatry and the Big Lie at CPAC 2021

Episode Date: March 6, 2021

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo faces sexual harassment allegations, QAnon followers find another reason to storm Congress, and CPAC attendees fawn over a golden statue of Donald Trump. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter's smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, Zip Recruiter's powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use Zip Recruiter's pre-written

invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter.com slash zip. that's zip recruiter.com. Zip Recruiter. The smartest way to hire. When 60 minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi-s. thi-s. the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the smartest way to hire. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.

But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17th. The Golden Globes. It's the Oscars weird foreign cousin and last night's ceremony was less focused on the awards than who was handing them out. The Golden Globes live from coast to coast. For the first time in Globe's history, taking a place in two time zones,

with hosts Amy Polar in LA and Tina Fay in New York. It didn't take long for the duo to address one of the biggest controversies this year. That being that of the 87 voting members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which runs the globe, there are zero black voters. I realize HFPA, maybe you guys didn't get the memo because your workplace is the back booth of a French McDonald's, but you've got to change that. The organization vowing to do better. We recognize we have our own work to do. Just like in film and television,

black representation is vital. We must have black journalists in our organization. Yeah, no shit. You know you've got representation problems when the proud boys have more black members than you. But basically, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association was being roasted all night by the hosts, by the presenters, even by themselves. I mean, so the good news is you know they're going to fix the problem. Because can you imagine them coming back next year and being like, we are still working

on finding a single black person. If anybody out there knows a single black person, please give us their number. But aside from the no black people controversy, I'm not going to lie, I did enjoy getting to see inside all of these celebrities' homes. And hands down, my favorite house was Jeff Daniels. Because I don't know if you noticed this, but there are like five doors in that room. And think about this, we're only seeing one and a half walls. I mean, there could easily be 10 to 20 more doors. You know, some celebrities spend their money on fancy cars and jewelry.

Jeff Daniels spends his money on doors. I respect the hell out of that. And look, we could spend a lot more time talking about representation at the Golden Globes, or all the amazing black actors and filmmakers who won this th and how brave it was for Sean Penn to let a Rumba cut his hair. But we don't have the time for that, because we have to talk about the political scandal that is rocking the country. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, increasingly under fire tonight. A second woman reportedly coming forward, accusing him of sexual harassment. The latest allegations come from 25-year-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, th-s, th-sha-sha-shauoena-shauoenene-s, thoananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananan-s, toe-s, toe-s, to, to, to, to, to, to, toe-s, toe-s, thuuuuuuuuuuuiii-s, I Ie-s, Ie-s, Ie-s, Iui-sui-sui-sui-sui-sui-sha-sha-shomeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroeuroe The latest allegations come from 25-year-old Charlotte Bennett, a former Cuomo executive assistant

and health policy advisor. She tells the New York Times that the 63-year-old governor asked her questions about her sex life. He asked me if I believed if age made a difference in relationships, she says, and if I had ever been with an older man. And at one point, she says, the governor said, he's fine with anyone above the age of 22. The Times reports that the 63-year-old governor said he had been lonely during the pandemic and pressed her on who she last hugged,

saying, he can't even hugged anyone before turning to Bennett, asking her, who I last hugged, thinne, asking no, I mean, like, really, I, I, I, I, th, th.... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. thu. thu. thu. thin. thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, thin. th. th. th. th. thin. the the th. th. to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. tooanananananananann. toldeananananananananneuu. toldeanananan toldean toldean. told. toean. to questions as clear overtures for a sexual relationship. The 63-year-old governor releasing a statement Sunday that said, at work sometimes, I think I am being playful and make jokes that I think are funny. I do on occasion tease people in what I think is a good-natured way.

Quomo adding, I now understand that my interactions may have been insensitive or too personal. I acknowledge some of the things I have said have been misinterpreted as an unwanted flirtation. Guys, of course he was being playful. I mean, imagine your much older, politically powerful boss terms to you and says, When was the last time you were really hugged? That's super playful. Can't you feel your skin crawling with delights? Here's the thing.

Even if Cuomo did think that he was just being playful, it's still not okay, all right? This is what bosses never seemed to understand. If you're a boss, you should never be flirtatious with your employees because as a boss you're basically a dragon. All right? Nobody's ever trying to hug a dragon. They're just trying to get out of the cave in one piece. Seriously, Caitlin, maybe sometime we should go out for a coffee. Uh, so right now, things are looking pretty bad for Governor Cuomo.

He's facing investigations and even calls to resign. Now you know that it's not good when you're the person in trouble and you're like, guys, please, remember all those old people in nursing homes I got killed? Let's talk about that again, come on, huh? And I'll tell you, man, all those people who praised Cuomo so highly last year, who, those people really don't look so smart now now, who th........ th. th. th. th, who th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, that, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th, th, thi, thi, th. And, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thus, thus, thus, thus, that, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, that, that, thus, thus, smart now. Delete the tapes, delete the tapes, delete them all. I mean, it must be so embarrassing. Can you imagine if you're one of those people?

Ha ha ha! Just burn them! I don't give a shit. Burn them! Yeah, and then you just cut this part out. Now, look. There's a lot more to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say the their their their their their their is that he refers to sex as rarely hugging. But we can't get into all of that right now, because the President of the United States is dropping bombs. New details tonight about the U.S. air strikes in Syria overnight, the first military action taken by the Biden administration.

President Biden ordered strikes on an Iranian-backed militia compound in eastern Syria near the Iraqi border. Nine buildings were destroyed, and Iraqi officials said one militia member was killed. The strikes were retaliation for a rocket attack in Iraq earlier this month that killed a civilian contractor and wounded a U.S. service member and other coalition troops. Some Democrats wish Biden would have asked them for an okay. Senator Tim Kane protests, offensive military action without congressional approval is not constitutional, absent extraordinary circumstances.

Congress must be fully briefed on this matter expeditiously. Yes, barely a month into Joe Biden's presidency, and he has already dropped his first bombs on Syria. You know, new American presidents bombed the Middle East, the way new has already dropped his first bombs on Syria. You know, new American presidents bombed the Middle East, the way new inmates beat the hell out of somebody on their first day in the prison yard. And I don't even know why. I really don't get it.

I mean, America doesn't need to look tough. It's not like Canada saw Biden bombing Syria, and all of a sudden they were like, all right, better cancel the invasion, eh? And what's crazy is all the senators can do after this is just complain. It's actually ridiculous just how little power Congress has to actually stop the president from bombing whoever he wants. Even a drunk guy at a bar has at least two friends to hold him back. And I don't think it's too much to ask for the US government to have more checks and balances than a McSwigans. I will say this though. What I do find really interesting is that when it comes to helping people, you know, like raising the minimum wage or canceling student debt, Biden says he respects any tiny Senate rules that block him. I can't do it because of the Senate. When it comes to dropping bombs on people, suddenly Biden is like,, fuck Congress, let's do it and be legends!

Now look, people, there's a lot to say about how America can't seem to stop fighting in the Middle East, and about the hypocrisy to the hypocrisy, and about the hypocrisy, but we don't have the time to talk about that hypocrisy because there was an even more blatant one just this weekend. Port on the grizzly 2018 murder of Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi, confirming the US assessment that Saudi Arabia's crown prince Mohammed bin Salman or MBS personally approved the Saudi operation to capture or kill Hashookjee, who was a critic of the Saudi royal family.

The president has decided to give Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman a pass. No direct sanctions, basically no punishment. The president has decided to give Saudi crown prince Mohammed bin Salman a pass. No direct sanctions, basically no punishment. The White House now arguing that they must maintain the relationship with Saudi Arabia, but that they are recalibrating it. The CNN team at the White House is also being told that sanctions against MBS were, quote, too complicated and could jeopardize U.S. military interests in Saudi Arabia. Well, I certainly hope Saudi Arabia has learned its lesson.

Killing journalists will not be tolerated for a few months while I'm running for president, and then after that it will be tolerated. I'm sorry for raising my voice. No, but for real, though, guys, I'm just joking. This is actually really sweet to see. You need to find you someone who forgives you the way America forgives Saudi Arabia. Because every fight they have ends like a romantic comedy, you know? Just the two of them standing in the rain. So you're not mad that I killed your journalist?

I am mad, Saudi Arabia. And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life forgiving you. Wow, you really hugging me. But hey, I understand where President Biden is coming from. He needs Saudi Arabia's support or they won't let American soldiers stay there. And America needs those soldiers there to protect America's other soldiers who are there. And those soldiers are there. And those soldiers there. And America needs those soldiers there

to protect America's other soldiers who are there. And those soldiers are there to support Saudi Arabia, who support America needs to keep troops there, to protect the troops who are... Wait, this doesn't sound right. The coronavirus vaccine. The reason your grandma just reactivated her tinder. Over the weekend, Johnson and Johnson became the third company to get a vaccine approved

for use in the United States. And in even more good news today, it was announced that one of Johnson and Johnson's rivals, the farmer company, Merck, will help produce the vaccine as a way to boost supply, which is amazing. Two rival companies teaming up. will help produce the vaccine as a way to boost supply, which is amazing. Two rival companies teaming up. This is so rare, especially in the pharmaceutical world. I mean, we all watch TV.

We've seen those Sialis ads. They've never once said, ask your doctor about Sialis. Or Viagra, all that matters is we get your rusty old dick working again. And it's because vaccine production is ramping up that President Biden now says America will have a vaccine for every adult by the end of May. Two months earlier than he predicted just a few weeks ago, which means you're gonna have to foot back into your jeans a lot sooner than you thought.

Yeah, you better get working. Now, I don't have that problem because I cut all my jeans up for toilet paper paper paper paper paper paper paper paper paper the the the the the the the the the the the tool the the the the the tool tool... their their their their their to. to. to. to. tooom. tooom. toea. to. tooom. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. to bea. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. t. t t t t t t t t t t te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. t t get working. Now I don't have that problem because I cut all my jeans up for toilet paper last April. But let's move on to Andrew Cuomo, governor of New York and shaved Geico caveman. He's already spent this week fighting off two accusations of sexual harassment. And now we're finding out about a third. This morning, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo facing new calls for resignation after a third. This morning New York Governor Andrew Cuomo facing new calls for resignation after a third woman has come forward with accusations of sexual harassment. Anna Rook telling the New York Times the governor tried to

kiss her at a New York City wedding reception in 2019 and then sharing this photograph she says was captured on her cell phone that night by a friend. Rook saying that when Governor Cuomo put his hand on her bare lower back, she, quote, promptly removed his hand with my hand. According to the paper, the governor remarked that she seemed aggressive and placed his hands on her cheeks, he asked if he could kiss her. Sweet Jesus, man, what are you doing? I mean, on the one hand, asking women for consent before you kiss them

is what you're supposed to do, but the other part of consent is waiting for them to answer. You don't just grab them by the face like a bear yanking on a beehive. I mean, look at this photo. How can you not tell that you're making this person uncomfortable. If you're doing something to someone that turns them into the emogy, you have done something wrong. And what's so brazen about it is that he's doing it right in front of everybody,

in the middle of a wedding. So now I want to know, was he doing this the whole night? You know, are the bride and groom going to be looking's the picture of you smearing the cake on my face. Oh, and there's the one of Governor Cuomo licking it off. And by the way, it's not like this happened in like 1992, and he could be like, well, it was a different time. This was in 2019. If you're a public official doing this kind of thing after the Me Too M2 M. Either you just can't help yourself or you're so dumb you shouldn't be in office anyway.

So in light of these allegations, Cuomo is now facing even more calls to resign. Although if these allegations prove anything, it's that Quomo doesn't go away when you want him to. But let's move on, because while Governor Cuomo clearly hasn't adapted to the changing times, one of your favorite authors from childhood is trying to. Breaking news, the organization that preserves the legacy of author and illustrator Dr. Soos says it will stop publishing six titles because of racist imagery. Dr. Seuss Enterprises says the books portray people in ways that are hurtful and wrong. The six books being banned

include and to think that I saw it on Mulberry Street, if I ran the zoo, Miguel Gots Pool, on Beyond Zebra, Scrambled Egg Super, and the Cats Quizzer. There are some examples of racist imagery in those books. For example, there's a character that's described as a Chinese man who eats with sticks. And the depiction of that character has a pointed hat, slanted, slit eyes in another book. Two men said to be from Africa are shown shirtless, shoeless, wearing grass skirts as they carry exotic animals. Wow, okay. So what?

We're just going to cancel Dr. Seuss just because they're racist? Then what are the racist kids going to read? You didn't think of that, did you? You know the real problem with Dr. Seuss? Is that, is is, is, is, is, is that all, is that all, is that all, is that all, is that all, is that all, is that all, is that all, is that all, that all, that all that all that all that all that all that all that all that all that all? Huh? You didn't think of that, did you? You know the real problem with Dr. Seuss? Is that all of his made-up words sound like they could be racial slurs. I mean, a zelf on a shelf? The nubbards in the cupboards? Oh, shit, I don't know what that means.

thiing down. And look, I know that this thing was blowing up and it was trending all over Twitter, but there's always gonna be people on Twitter telling you that this is the end of civilization. Because fanning the flames of culture wars is how they get attention. But let's be honest about what's happening here. An organization is making a decision on its own that they don't want to be associated with their own outdated and offensive imagery. That's not being canceled. That's something that companies and organizations do all the time. Like at some point Coca-Cola

was like, hey maybe putting cocaine in our drink is harmful to the public. Maybe we should stop doing that. Nobody called that cancel culture. And despite what everyone tells you, everyone does this all the time, including CPAC. Yeah, the home of freedom! Just a couple of weeks ago, they canceled the speaker for his anti-Semitic views. Oh, but I guess that was just them looking out for the brand.

Yeah, it only becomes cancel culture when it's something you disagree with. But still, there may be room for compromise here. Like maybe instead of getting rid of the books completely, they can just update the imagery. For example, take that offensive drawing of the two African men and put it in a Tucker Carlson thought bubble. That way we all understand, ah, this is racist. After dropping for two weeks, new infections are ticking up again. And it's a real race to see whether the vaccines will take hold before the new variants

take us out. Which is why, even as we enter the home stretch, it's important people to mask up and keep out of crowds and not do whatever this is. There is a lot of concern this morning that some states are rushing to open too soon. Defying the CDC, the governors in Texas and Mississippi declaring their back in business, eliminating mask mandates and allowing all retailers to open at 100% capacity. States like Massachusetts, Pennsylvania and Kentucky also easing restrictions, allowing larger crowds in smaller venues.

Restaurants, high school proms, even Las Vegas pool parties, are set to reopen with fewer mandates. Wedding receptions now, they can return in New York in just a few weeks, but there's going to be some rules as to how you hit the dance for. New York State promising to enforce dance zones when wedding receptions resume on March 15th. Under the rules, each dance zone is supposed to be a minimum of 36 square feet. Guests can share a dance zone only with other people from their table and members of their household or family. Hold up, hold up, hold up. So if you go to a wedding in New York,

you can only dance with your own family in your own dance zone? That is a terrible idea. And I would hate to be the wedding DJ who has to enforce that rule and try and keep things fun. All right, take it back now, y'all. Yeah, slide to the right. Yeah, too far, too far! Slide to the left, go light your asses up! Sliad to the left! Stay in your zone!

Oh yeah. So look, man, this is a weird rule. But at least it looks like Governor Cuomo has finally learned the importance of social distancing at weddings. But here's the real question for me. Why are things reopening all of a sudden? Corona's not over yet. I mean, Texas is still getting over 7,000 new cases a day, but their governor got vaccinated, and now he's like, get those clubs back open.

I'm gonna get lit. Oh yeah. And I can even understand wanting to open businesses back up because of the economy. But people, lifting mask mandates, that makes no sense at all. No sense. Like, I'm sick of Corona, too. But this is not the time to ease up on mosquing. We're so close to the end of the pandemic.

We can see it. Why are these governors letting their guard down? I bet these are the same people who read t's move on to the President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. Oh, I'm sorry. You think Joe Biden was inaugurated in January sheepil? Well, maybe you've been reading the wrong internet message boards, and you're going to find out the truth tomorrow. The FBI is warning of extremist chatter and specifically that there could be another attack

on the U.S. Capitol tomorrow. Q&ON followers are added again. They have grasped on to another impossible theory. Trump will take office as the 19th President of the United States on March 4th. They believe in an old inauguration date in place before the passage of the 20th Amendment. It changed from March 4th to January 20th, only in 1933. The Trump Hotel has nearly tripled its rates with rooms now going for about $1,300 a night, both today and for tomorrow.

Oh man, what a grift. Honestly, I don't even blame Trump. If I was him, I would milk the shit out of this thing. I'd be charging my guests for things that they didn't even buy. Wait a minute. I never bought the Toblerone. I guess the dam stole that too. I feel your pain. And these Q-Awn people have no one to blame but themselves at this point.

I mean, they've been proven wrong time and time and time again, but they just keep moving Trump's inauguration day a little further back. In a way, I understand. I mean, the deeper you fall into something, the less you want to admit that you were duped, which makes you even more desperate to keep the fantasy going. I mean, that's th that's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus. thus thus. thus. thus. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi the thi the the the the the the the the to the to to to ta to ta. tipe to tipe thauu. the the. the. the. th keep the fantasy going. I mean, that's why I'm sure that the next Kanye album is gonna be great again. It has to be great. In the meantime, though, it looks like Washington will have to prepare for more riots. I mean, they might just end up becoming part of the DC Tour Guide experience.

All right, guys, you just missed the 2 o'clock insurrection at the Capitol, but the 4.30 p.m. will be happening shortly, so stick around. And please remember, do not feed the Capitol rioters, okay? And finally, Amazon. The only place you can get a monthly subscription of refrigerators. We all use Amazon every day. Well, I mean, except me, I only shop at my local, independent bookstore. So important. But people who do use Amazon might have noticed something a little different the last time they went to open the app on their phone. Amazon has changed its new app logo after critics claimed it resembled Hitler's facial features.

At issue was the blue tape above the smiling arrow, critic said the icon looked like Hitler's mustache. The company has now tweak the image so the tape is folded, not rigid. Wow. First, Dr. Seuss, and now Adolf Hitler. Cancel culture is getting out of control. Come on, people. This was obviously an innocent mistake. You should give Amazon's graphic designer a break because he's probably not allowed one on his shift.

And to be fair to Amazon, everything looks like Hitler. I mean, there are cats that look like Hitler, fish that look like Hitler, houses that look like Hitler. There was this super old guy I met in Argentina last year who looked a lot like Hitler. Like he... Oh, wait a second. I mean, if we're going to go off the app logos that make you uncomfortable, well, then you know who we should be going after? Instagram. Yeah, because every time I tap it, I feel like I'm sticking my finger in a robot's butthole. Oh, you tell me you've never noticed that.

Tell me you've never noticed the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter's smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, Zip Recruiters' powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use Zip Recruiter's pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle

in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address, ziprecruter.com.Zip Recruiter.com slash zip. Zip Recruiter. The smartest way to hire. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.. a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS

News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17. See Pack, the conservative political action conference, which is an annual gathering for hardcore right-wingers. You know, sort of like the Golden Globes, but for your aunt's Facebook group. And it began over the weekend with the organizers begging the audience to wear their masks. And they did this by trying to appeal to their conservative principles. I know this might sound like a little bit of a downer, but we also believe in property rights and this is a private hotel, but a private hotel just like your house gets to set its own rules.

Carly, our CPAC director. So please, everyone, when you're in the ballroom, when you're seated, you should still be wearing a mask. So if everybody can go ahead work on that. You have the right. So thank you all for putting on your masks. I wear a mask when I'm in the halls and we're going to comply with their rules. Boo! Boo! Let the free market decide which one of us will survive this pandemic! Boo!

It is amazing, just how adamantly some conservatives refuse to ever wear a mask. The only thing that fights this hard to get itself killed is when a dog's trying to eat chocolate. I mean, these people are so terrifying that the first guy was scared to even make the announcement himself. He was like, as conservatives, we respect the rights of business, which means Carly, I think he wanted to tell them something. But eventually, the show got underway. And all the big right-wing stars were there. South Dakota Governor Christy Noam attacked Anthony Fau.

Representative Matt Gates attacked Mr. Potato Head. And the CEO of Goya Beans said that Donald Trump is still, quote, the real, legitimate and actual president of the United States. And quote, now he can get away with saying that because what are you gonna do? By generic Black Beans? And then after all of that, it was time for Ted Cruz, Texas Senator and the Wario version of Pee We Herman. And his whole speech rarely came down to one sentence. In the immortal words of William Wallace, freedom! Yeah, a lot of people don't remember this, but at the end of that scene, Braveheart rides

his horse straight to Cancun. But it makes sense for Cruz to quote that movie. I mean, I'm sure lots of people were quoting Mel Gibson at CPAC. But as usual, nobody showed up to see Ted Cruz, because the star of the weekend was none other than Donald Jobless Trump. And for anyone wondering if Trump is still worshipped by his people, well, this might answer your question. Take a look at this.

This is in the convention center hallways. And it is a fairly large statue of Donald Trump made of gold. You can see there. He's in a suit as well as an American flag with shorts. And it certainly has been getting a lot of attention. A lot of people posing with the statue, but I think if anything it gives us a better idea of the kind of crowd that's here at CPAC. Holy shit, guys, did you see that thing? Oh man, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Like, yeah, yeah, again, it's a golden idol and blasphemous and all of that, blah, blah, blah, but guys, why is it wearing flip-flops and holding a magic wand? I mean, do you know how hard it is to make Donald Trump

Look weirder than he already is like it doesn't even look like Trump. It looks like King Midas dry-hummed a Bob's big boy. I mean, so yeah, that statue looks dumb, but still everyone in CPAC was excited to take pictures with it, especially Eric. This is the closest we've ever been in a long time, Dad. Look, I know I'm just a gold statue, but get the hell away from me, you creepy looking freak. Now, as exciting as gold-plated Hobbber Trump is, the statue was no match for the real thing. And everyone hoping that Trump would come on stage and play his hits, well, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th, th, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th is, the statue was no match for the real thing. And everyone hoping that Trump would come on stage and play his hits, well, they were

definitely not disappointed. We have a very sick and corrupt electoral process that must be fixed immediately. This election was rigged, and the Supreme Court, and the Supreme Court. T didn't want to do anything about it. They didn't have the courage, the Supreme Court. You take a look at that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thoom thoom thoom thoom thoan thoan thoom thoomoomoomoomoomoomating thoomat the the thoomatoe thoom- thoom-and thoom. th. th. th. th. th. the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their t. tha. tha. thae, thae, thae, thau. toda today today truea too-n. truea truea truea trueauaua tooea tha They didn't have the courage to Supreme Court. You take a look at the votes. When you have more votes than you have people. That's a problem, right?

Is that a problem? In Pennsylvania, they had hundreds of thousands of more votes than they had people voting. What's that all about? Cheating, they say. Yeah, I'd say. But it's one of those things. But who knows? Who knows?

I may even decide to beat them for a third time. Okay? Beautiful for third time. I've watched CPAC and Wonder Vision this weekend and I'm not sure which characters are living in a more warped reality. I've watched CPAC and Wonder Vision this weekend and I'm not sure which characters are living in a more warped reality. And look, true to the truth. I've watched CPAC and Wonder Vision this weekend and I'm not sure which characters are living in a more warped reality. And look, Trump is always going to insist that he won. He's hopeless.

I get that. But for the rest of the conservatives in that room, someone is going to to step up and have the balls to tell them that their candidate lost and that they need to grow up and accept that. And I think Carly, you were going to tell them that, right? Carly? President Joseph, reprehensible Biden. And yes, that is his new middle name. Reprehensible. Because Biden has been in office for just six weeks. And already people, he has had more scandals than any president before him. As we'll find out in another episode of Joe Biden,

the worst president in historys that Joe Biden has done since the last time we did this segment. But yesterday, he said one of the most outrageous things anybody, or at least anybody on Fox News, has ever heard. Part of the president's plea with the American people when he took over was to stop talking about political opponents like they are enemies because they are not and he's not calling these Republican leaders reopening their states enemies but he is calling them Neanderthals. I think it's a big mistake. The last thing we need is the Neanderthal

thinking that in the meantime everything's fine take off your mask, forget it. It still matters. What a uniter Joe Biden is. You know, this is Mr. Unity and yet if you disagree with them you're a Neanderthal. It turns out that he's just another snob using dismissive, deplorable-like, demeaning language to describe people who didn't vote for him. He called them Neandrothal. Now you don't call one of the largest states in the Union Neandrothal. According to Joe Biden, only a Neanderthal would lift COVID restrictions on Americans. I started the Neanderthal Caucus because Neanderthals are hunter-gatherers.

They're protectors of their family. They are resilient. They're resourceful. They tend to their own. I can't believe that Joe Biden has the nerve to call these great Americans Neanderthals. But also, calling them Neanderthals is actually a compliment. So apologize, Joe Biden. But also, thank you. But how dare you! But also, you're so sweet. Resign, my best friend. This is just disgusting, people. Not only did Joe Biden call Republicans the N-word,

but he forced them to acknowledge evolution. That is the worst thing you can do to a Republican. And by the way, point me to a single Neanderthal that died from COVID. Huh? Guess you're not so smart now, huh, buddy? And it's bad enough that Joe Biden is insulting people who don't want to wear masks. But what's even worse is that Joe Biden is a monster who wants to wear a mask himself. Why is Joe Biden so wearing a mask? He's been vaccinated. Like this virtue signaling that continues on is just really getting tiresome.

You tell him. What kind of sick person goes out of his way to set an example? You never once saw Donald Trump care about public health? No. He stood shoulder to shoulder with ordinary people and contracted COVID because that's leadership, Mr. President, if that even is your real name. What Joe Biden doesn't understand is that wearing a mask is a personal decision that everyone should get to make for themselves. Except for Joe Biden, who isn't allowed to make for themselves, except for

Joe Biden, who isn't allowed to wear a mask because it annoys me. But clearly there's something else going on here. Joe Biden is hiding something under that mask. Could it be a Hitler mustache? Take off your mask, Joe, or you are the new Hitler. Meanwhile, Joe Biden is not only failing on COVID. He's a one-man super spreader for an even worse pandemic, cancel culture. President Biden didn't even mention Dr. Seuss and his presidential proclamation

honoring Read Across America Day yesterday. The Biden White House has erased, literally erased Dr. Seuss from their Read Across America proclamation this week. So it's Dr. Seuss's birthday, the Biden administration is refusing to celebrate. Biden administration canceled the entire, it's like Dr. Seuss. It's like Dr. Seuss. that's right. Joe Biden has a magic wand and he used it to erase Dr. Seuss.

He could have been doing something that would actually benefit the country with that wand, you know, like making all the face masks disappear. And how hypocritical is it to tell America that they should be listening to doctors and then literally murder an esteemed medical expert like Dr. Seuss. Look out America. This is just the beginning of Biden's crusade against all doctors, but only the real ones, which I guess means Dr. Jill Biden has nothing to worry about. And by the way, what a sad departure from America's last president, who respected Dr. Seuss so

much that he constantly spoke in made-up words. Anonymous, Unitedonymous United States. There's no sugar coding it. This administration is going to the dogs. And what's even sadder is those dogs are ugly as shit. Oh, I gotta show you some nonsense from the White House. They put this out. They've got this, Pauffis, some sort of cutie account for the dogs.

Did you see the dog? Let's get, I want to show you something I noticed. Doesn't he look a little, a little rough? This dog looks like from, I'm sorry, from the junkyard. And I love that dog, but he looks like he's not been well cared for. He looks very dirty and disheveled and very unlike a presidential dog like Millie or Victory or something else in the past in the White House. Yeah, dude.

Drag that dog! Hey, Fido, why don't you go fetch a new stylist! I mean, what the hell has that dog been doing, huh? Running around playing? No wonder he looks like that. Everyone knows if you want your dog to remain in mint condition, you never take it out of the packaging. Joe Biden has a lot to explain about how he treats that pet.

No dog should ever look manger than Ted Cruz. Hell, I'll say it. I do not like this dog. I do not like it here or there. I do not like it anyway. And yeah, that's right. I'm quoting Dr. Seuss. Is that illegal now? Well, then I'll stop because I've got priors. So, those are the many Joe Biden scandals exposed by the muck-reaking journalists of conservative media in just the last three weeks. And who knows, by this time tomorrow, we could find out that Biden doesn't empty the crumb trainees,

or even worse, he sits when he pees. And when he does, we'll be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to be to to to be to to to be to to to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told told told. told told told. told, told, told, told, told, too. too. too. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the. the. thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean. thooooooooooo'll be there to tell you all about it in another episode of Joe Biden, the worst president in history that we can remember. Before we go, March is Women's History Month. So please consider supporting an organization called She Should Run. It's a nonpartisan, nonprofit working to increase the number of women who are considering a run for public office. Now, by supporting she should run, you are helping women from the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thii thi thiii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to increase the number of women who are considering a run for public office.

Now by supporting she should run, you are helping women from all political leanings, ethnicities, sexual identities and backgrounds to see themselves as future candidates. So if you're able to help in any way, then just go to the link below and donate whatever you can. The Daily Show with Cover Noa, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show Weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. to the Daily Show.com. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more.

When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling? But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News.

Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts.