The Daily Show: Ears Edition - This Week's Top Stories - Andrew Cuomo's Scandals Mount, Catholic Church Reparations & Kentucky Cops

Episode Date: March 20, 2021

Several more women accuse Governor Andrew Cuomo of sexual harassment, the Catholic Church pledges $100 million for reparations, and Kentucky considers criminalizing police-taunting. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address.ziprecruiter.com slash zip. Again, that's zip recruiter.com slash zip. Recruiter. The smartest way to hire. Andrew Cuomo, governor of New York and the only person who wishes it was still 2020. A few weeks ago, Cuomo was hit with sexual harassment accusations from two former staffers, but much like coronavirus in New York nursing homes, the allegations have only

been getting worse. In recent weeks, seven women have accused the governor of sexual misconduct or harassment. The six accusation came from the Albany Times Union, which reported that a female aide to Cuomo alleges the governor aggressively groved her late last year while she was alone with him in his private residence. And today, New York Magazine says it interviewed more than 30 women who have either worked with or interacted with Cuomo and found that bullying was a defining element. Jessica Bakeman, a journalist said Cuomo's hands had been on my body, on my arms, my shoulders, the small of my back, my waist. Another

woman, Caitlin, said she was hired as an aid for her looks and that she was verbally and mentally abused by him and his staff. Today's New York Times says its investigation showed Cuomo's office is afflicted with a culture still rooted in the madmen era, including an expectation that younger female staffers wear makeup, dresses, and heels because it was rumored that was what the governor liked. These allegations are some serious shit. Bullying and groping women, a madman office culture, and pushing women to wear dresses and heels.

I mean, it sounds like Cuomo basically thought of himself like a bouncer outside a nightclub, which is convenient for him because that might be his job in a couple months. And practically every day now, there are more and more accusations piling up. It's getting so bad that he's going to have to bring back his PowerPoint slides just to track the harassment claims. I mean, just in the past couple weeks, we've heard about him harassing staffers, journalists, wedding guests. It seems like no women in New York were safe from this guy.

At some point, we're going to find out the statue of Liberty only holds that toroub. Now, Cuomo thethat an investigation into these allegations will exonerate him. And while President Biden is willing to wait and see where the investigation leads, he might be the only one left. Governor Cuomo is digging in despite a cascade of demands from politicians, many fellow Democrats saying that he needs to step down for the good of the state. Almost all of the state's Democratic Congress people are calling on Cuomo to go along with its two US senators, majority leader Chuck Schumer and Kirsten Gillibrand. Governor Cuomo has lost the confidence of his governing

partners as well as the people of New York. Long-time Congressman Jerry Nadler says Governor Cuomo has lost the confidence of the people of New York. Long-time Congressman Jerry Nadler says, Governor Cuomo has lost the confidence of the people of New York. Governor Cuomo must resign. Congresswoman Alexandria, Ocacio Cortez and Congressman Jamal Bowman jointly said, Governor Cuomo can no longer effectively lead in the face of so many challenges. That's right. No one wants anything to do with Cuomo. AOC wants him to do with Cuomo. AOC wants him to resign, Schumer wants him to resign,

his brother renamed his CNN show from Cuomo Prime Time to just, it's just Chris, okay? It's just Chris. But yes, many Democrats say that Cuomo can no longer effectively lead New York, and photos like this one aren't helping. I mean, if you're walking around outside, wearing a blanket, you don't look like you either got saved from a thes. It looks like you either got saved from a drowning car, or you live with 100 cats. Or maybe, his strategy is just to go in disguise.

Maybe that's what he's trying to do. Andrew Cuomo, no, I'm an old Italian grandmother, Nona Maria. Okay, granny, well let's get you back into a nursing home. Oh shit, that that back that back that back that back that back that back that back that back that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thue. th. thiannue. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. too, th. th. th. th. th. toe. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. to shit, that backfired. And remember, while all of this is going on, New York is still in the middle of the coronavirus pandemic. The state is even dealing with its own New York mutation, which makes Corona easier to catch, and also makes you weirdly defensive about bagels. And if you want to convince people that you're still focused on Corona, it's probably a bad idea to have th........ th. th. th. th. thiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th.. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. to to thi. to to tooi. tooi. tooi. tooi. tooi. tooi. to thi. their, thi. thi. thi. thi. to convince people that you're still focused on Corona, it's probably a bad idea to have your vaccine czar spending his time doing this.

Now a report in the Washington Post makes claims that one of Cuomo's top advisors and vaccines are Larry Schwartz may have crossed ethical lines accused of making calls to county executives questioning their loyalty. One executive was so upset by the call, the person filed an ethics complaint with the state attorney general's office. According to the report, one official believed getting vaccines to his area could suffer if Schwartz was not pleased with his response. And the governor's office and Schwartz denied that the governor did anything wrong. Schwartz told the post

that when he made those calls it was not in his role as a vaccine czar, but only as Cuomo's friend. Ooh, that response is so gangster. I'm not calling you as the guy who has all the vaccines your area needs. I'm just calling you as the thrown. I just want to know if you support him or if you like getting COVID. It's just a question. And look, he can say that he was just calling as a friend.

But he is the vaccine, Zah. Like, he should be doing vaccine shit. Like, where does he even find the time for chit-chat? Because I'm spending all my time in an alley behind Walgreens trying to lick the insides inside inside inside inside inside. Although, I guess it's not entirely his fault. It's like it's not completely his fault, you know what I mean? They didn't make him the vaccine, Zah. If you don't want people to abuse their power,

maybe stop calling them Zars. You know, hey, you know those tyrannical rulers from the old days? That's your job now, but Quomo says it's thii, thi, thi, thi, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, thi, it's, giving people more reasons to call for his resignation. But Cuomo says it's never going to happen. And he has a very dumb explanation for why. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo reiterating his innocent amid mounting allegations and ongoing investigations into his alleged misconduct. The governor also saying he isn't going anywhere. People know the difference between playing politics. into his alleged misconduct. The governor also saying he isn't going anywhere. People know the difference between playing politics,

bowing to cancel culture and the truth. Let the review proceed. I'm not going to resign. Part of this is that I am not part of the political club. And you know what? I'm proud of it. That's right. From the time he became governor 10 years ago, to his years as attorney general, back to

when he worked in the Clinton administration, Andrew Cuomo has never been part of the political club. And if you disagree, you can drive your ass out of New York on the bridge they named after his governor dad. But yes, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, th is, th is th is th is th is thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. governor dad. But yes, Andrew Cuomo thinks that holding him to account for his actions is cancel culture, which is obviously making people pretty angry, especially nursing home residents. They're like, bitch, you canceled Gladys. And I've got to be honest, if this is cancel culture, well then I have no idea what cancel culture means anymore. I guess it's about letting Dr. Seuss books be racist,

but also not letting politicians get away with sexual harassment. Cancell culture feels a lot like watching one division. Every time I think I get what it's about, the next scene is like, now it's about a purple witch who's only pretend possessed. But this is the new playbook for all these kinds of scandals. You just refuse to step aside, and you hope that things eventually blow over. It worked for Donald Trump.

It worked for Ralph Northam and Andrew Cuomo hopes it'll work for Nonna Maria. Tinder, a postmates for Climidia. Tinder dates can be unpredictable. I mean, the only thing you know for sure when you meet up with a Tinder match is that they're not gonna look as good as they do in their profile pick.

But now, Tinder wants to give you a little extra peek behind the curtain. Tender will soon let users run background checks on possible dates, match, which owns tender announcing an investment in Garbo. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's tha owns tender announcing an investment in Garbo that's a nonprofit that aims to let people run checks with only their name and phone number so this means that users will be able to vet dates with details such as their arrest record or history of violence. Background checks will not be free but match says that it's working on a price that will make it affordable for most

users. Yes a Tindinder background check, baby! This will help people avoid dating criminals, and it'll help criminals find other criminals to do crimes with. You know, if you ask me, it's about time that they started this feature. I mean, for one thing, it's way more efficient than what people have to do now to figure out if they're dating a criminal. So, are you into wine? Like, you know, have you ever made toilet wine? And if there are any guys out there going, wait, I don't want a woman knowing all the stuff about me before we even date?

My man, trust me, they already know way more than a background check will tell them. Before a woman goes on a date with you, she and her friends have already scrolled through your Instagram and the Instagrams of everyone tagged on your Instagram. So they already know you still comment on photos of your prom date, even though she has kids now. They know everything.

And just to be clear, just because someone has a criminal history, it doesn't mean that you to thoom thoe tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi... thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to the to the, the the the the the the, the the the their their their their their their their their their their the the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thrown.. thrown. te. te. toge. toge. te. toge. toge. te. toge. the. thean toean thean the. the.? I'm not saying that. In fact, depending on the crime, it might even make them pretty appealing. You know, like at first, you might swipe left on someone who did time for insurance fraud, but 900 horrible dates later, you're going to come back to him like, you know, insurance fraud is really one of the smart felonies when you think about it. Let's go out for that drink. Honestly, I want a background check that will look for other warning signs besides criminal history. You know? Like, do they kiss with their eyes open? Do they send you memes three weeks after they went viral? Are they obsessed with astrology?

Or even worse, are they a Capricorn? Speaking of people who could use a background check, the Catholic Church. As an institution, the church has been involved in many shady things over the past 2,000 years. You know, the Crusades, waterboarding babies, that priest who keeps walking into a bar, that guy is a drinking problem. But now, a major Catholic order is trying to make good on one mistake from its history. As calls for reparations continue to grow across the U.S priests have vowed to raise $100 million to benefit descendants of

enslaved people. Leaders in the Catholic Church acknowledged that the institution was built on the backs of slaves and they say this is a move towards racial healing. It's a way of our asking for forgiveness and making reparations. One hundred million dollars. That's huge. Do you realize how many pieces of art from the Vatican they're going to have to sell to raise that much money? Like one?

Still, this is great news. The Catholic Church, not just recognizing that owning slaves was wrong, but making reparations to the descendants for exploiting their ancestors. And I bet it will be a wonderful moment when the church presents those descendants with the reparations. This money is for owning your great-grandfather. I thought this was for you guys touching us when we were kids. And I don't know how they plan to give out this money, but in my opinion, I think they should keep it simple.

From now on, every collection plate goes directly to a black person. And that way black people can supervise the whole process too. Yo, y'all, two dollars? Man, I saw you parking that rangered over. to the Raintz rover. Moving on to news from Ireland. . from Ireland, the country that ditched the royal family before Oprah's interview. If you've always wanted to visit the Emerald Isle for St. Patrick's Day, well, it turns

out you're not the only one. One Arctic walrus was spotted in Ireland, experts with the Marine Conservation Society say this young walrus likely fell asleep on an iceberg and woke up miles away. So sciences with the conservation society say it's incredibly unusual to see the animals so far south. They say he looks fit and well fed and should be able to make the trip back home. What an adorable story of a walrus that went on a bender blacked out and is lying to its family. Seriously though, seeing a walrus this far south is so cute.

And the good news is that with climate change, this is going to happen more and more. We're going to get all sorts of Arctic animals floating down on melting icebergs. Walruses, polar bears, Santa's corpse, it's going to be so cool. You know, I bet accidents like this are how so many evolutionary leaps took place. Like, have you ever seen a tape here? Have you seen that thing? I mean, the only reason those things exist is clearly because at some point in history, an elephant drifted into a family of skunks, and they were all just like, well, okay, I guess we're doing this.

And despite what everyone else feels, I don't feel bad for this walrus. I actually feel bad for all of his walrus friends in the Arctic. Yeah, because when he gets back, they're going to have to listen to him going, Guinness just tasks better in Ireland. You guys have to go. Oh my God, the Guinness here is horrible. Real Guinness? Oh guys, you haven't lived. And by the way, it's Ireland. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter.

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Again that zip recruiter dot com slash zip. that's the smartest way to hire. It's been said that nigh skies finish last. But is that really true? I'm Tim Harford, host of The Cautionary Tales podcast, and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. We'll travel from New York to Tahiti to India on a quest to learn how to succeed without being a jerk. We'll examine stories of villains undone

by their villainy and monstrous self-devaring egos and will delve into the extraordinary power of decency. We'll face mutiny on the vast Pacific Ocean, blaze a trail with a pioneering skyscraper, and dare to confront a formidable empire. The art of fairness on cautionary tales. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling? But that's all about to change.

Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17. Story out of Oklahoma involving two of America's favorite past times, basketball and racism. High school basketball announcer in Oklahoma is blaming his diabetes and a spike in his blood sugar for the racist comments he made during a live stream state basketball tournament. The Norman player started kneeling during the national anthem. And that's when the announcer Matt Rowan hurled horrifying racist insults at the Norman team that were caught on Mike.

They're dealing. Feehbs. How Norman gets their f-strip. Rowan later apologized, saying in part, and I quote, I suffer type 1 diabetes and during the game my sugar was spiking. While not excusing my remarks, it is not unusual that when my sugar spikes, that I become disoriented and often say things that are not appropriate as well as hurtful. I'm not racist. I just suffer from diabetes.

I bet the royal family wishes that they thought of that one. I'm so sorry, Megan, our blood sugar was spiking that day and for the past 600 years. But hey, I'm no doctor. I mean, maybe diabetes does make you racist. In fact, I hope it does. You know, it would make things so much simpler. Lincoln could have ended slavery with a box of granola bars. It does make me wonder, though. How many close calls this guy has had before?

Like, were there times when he was running through CVS, like in the candy aisleil, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like in the candy aisle, like, come back is my favorite band. Oh, that was so close. So close. In more sports news, cheerleading. It's the only socially acceptable way to stand on other people. If you watch cheer on Netflix 10 years ago at the beginning of 2020, you know that cheerleading is a super competitive sport. But one cheer mom took her competitive spirit a

little too far. Now to that disturbing case involving deep fakes, videos that are manipulated to make it look like someone did or said something, they did not. It's a troubling new take on cyber bullying. A mom in Pennsylvania is accused this morning of using so-called deep fakes to anonymously harass members of her daughter's cheerleading team. Police say 50-year-old Rafael Spone digitally altered photos and videos of three members of her daughter's cheerleading squad known as a victory vipers depicting them naked, drinking and smoking from a vape pen and then sent the images to the girls and their coaches. The essence of it was to knock them down, essentially to try to shame them

or get them knocked off the team would appear to be the motivation. Wow, that is really impressive. I can't believe this 50-year-old mom learned how to make deep fakes. Meanwhile, your mom has to call you up every time she forgets her Paramount Plus login. Really, I have to say Paramount Plus. Obviously, using deep fakes to bully teenagers is messed up. And not only is it criminal, but it can also backfire. Because you can't trust moms to know what's not cool for teenagers to do. Honey, I know you hate Tricia, so I posted the deep fake of her doing shots with Megan the Stallion backstage.

Mom, that's the coolest thing she could do. Not on a school night. And honestly, were the deep fakes of the teens using vapens really necessary? I mean, you've already got them naked and drunk. You don't need to be like, and they're also basic. But this is a sign that the future that awaits us with deep fakes is going to be petty as hell.

You know, people are worried that deep fakes will be used to influence elections, but 90% of them are just gonna be people pretending to find mice in their tacos, just so they can get free food. So I mean the only solution to this is to never trust any video that you ever see ever again, including this video. I mean I think I'm Trevor Noah, but there's no way to know for sure. Let's move on now to an update about America's criminal justice system. This weekend, the country marked one year since police in Louisville, Kentucky killed Brianna Taylor. And while there is still much more work to be done, the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police theoudeen, thii. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I th. I th. I I th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the thro the thro the. I'm the. I'm anna Taylor. And while there is still much more work to be done, the police have been willing to make at least one change.

It could soon become a crime to taunt police officers in Kentucky. The AP reports Kentucky lawmakers passed the proposal through the state senate this week. The bill says anyone who taunts insults or challenges a law enforcement officer would be guilty of a misdemeanor and would face up to 90 days in jail plus fines. That's right. 90 days for insulting a police officer. So whatever you do, don't say to a cop, wow, I thought strippers would be in better shape, or nice riot gear and face shield.

You look like if a GI Joe had sex with a Chipotle sneeze. And whatever you do, do not try and to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their and their and their and th th th their and their and tell th their and tell their and tell their and their and their to to their their to to to toe toe their toe their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. theirn't ta. ta ta ta ta ta..a ta.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. guard. And whatever you do, do not try and tell Kentucky police any knock-knock jokes. You know they don't like knocking. Look, understandably, people are pretty angry about this. But just put yourself in the position of a police officer in Kentucky. Huh? You're just doing your job, breaking into someone's home and shooting them in bed, and then that person calls you a jerk? It's like, hey buddy, I've got feelings too. But obviously, there are a lot of problems with this law. I mean, first of all, any protest against police could land peaceful protesters in jail.

And secondly, if you're married to a cop, you basically have to let them win every single argument. Plus, you know that now cops are going thaaa tha th. Plus, you know that now cops are going to try to get people to taunt them just to meet their arrest quotas. Hey, what are you looking at? You see anything funny? Huh? Uh, no?

You sure? Huh? Now, of course, it isn't just the United States where there are tensions between communities and the police, as we are seeing in Great Britain where women are up in arms. There is growing outrage and concern about women's safety in Britain after the killing of a woman. 33-year-old London resident Sarah Everard was kidnapped and murdered while walking home earlier this month. The suspect in connection with Sarah Everard's kidnap and her death was actually a serving member of the Metropolitan Police Force. There was a vigil on the weekend. Even Kate, the

Duchess of Cambridge, made a private visit to lay flowers. But later on Saturday night the police tried to break up the crowd. The vigil was against lockdown rules but their heavy-handed tactics. And these images have horrified the nation and helped fuel more protests last night. Sexist police on our streets! Sexist police off our streets, they shouted. Okay, what are these cops thinking? Getting violence at a vigil over an officer murdering this woman?

The only way those cops could have been more tone-deaf is if they had mansplained the protest chance back to the women. You can't be going around breaking up a vigil. A vigil is by definition the most peaceful of all gatherings. No one ever says, you to come through. This vigil is about to be wild. I swear, the police police police police many headaches if they just hired one person whose only job is to ask, is this something the good guys would do? That way, when the police chief says, okay tonight we're

gonna go to a peaceful vigil and tackle women, then that person can raise their hand, ask their one question, is this something the good guys would do? And we can avoid this entire situation. And part of the reason people were protesting in the first place is that after Sarah Everard disappeared, police went door to door, telling women to stay home for their own safety, which led many people to wonder, why don't the police tell the men to stay home since they're the ones going around murdering people? But instead, they, they, their they, their they, their their their they, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, their, tho, their, the home since they're the ones going around murdering people. But instead, they're telling women, listen, lady, there's men on these streets, so you better

stay home, yeah? Although there could be men in your home too, so you can't stay there either. Tell you what? Just hover in the air about 10 feet off the ground, and that should keep you safe until we decide to do our jobs, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, to love, to love, to to to to to to to to to to to decide to do our jobs, love. The world's biggest real-life supervillain, Vladimir Putin. A newly declassified intelligence report has confirmed that Putin personally directed Russian meddling in the 2020 presidential election, and President Joseph Robertassan Biden isn't happy about it. In our world lead a threat from President Biden to Russian leader Vladimir Putin on interfering in the 2020 election.

He will pay a price. I, we had a long talk, he and I... So you know Vladimir Putin, you think he's a killer? Mm-hmm. I do. So what price must he pay? But you'll see shortly. President Putin himself has been asked about his response to Joe Biden's affirmation that he thiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.e. thi. thi. toei. toei. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th his response to Joe Biden's kind of affirmation that he thinks that President Putin is a killer.

I wish him good health and I'm not joking, I mean it. But when we judge people or other nations, we look into a mirror. We see ourselves there. When I was a child and we had arguments in the courtyard, we were saying, it takes one to know one. And it's not just the children's saying, the meanings the meanings thian, thian, thian, thian, thiiiiiii. takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes is not just just just isn't is not just, takes, takes is not just isn't is not just is tooke, tooke, tooke, tooke, tooke, tooke, tooke, tooke, took is very deep. Putin is right. Children's sayings still have a lot of important wisdom for us as adults. That's why I still get my yearly boosters for my kudy shot. I mean, if a girl ever touches me, I'm all set. But it is funny that Putin has to clarify that he's not joking when he wishes Biden

good health. Because let's face it. The man has killed so many people. Everyone always just assumes that that's what he means. I wouldn't be shocked if this causes a ton of problems for him. President Putin, your cousin is here. What would you like me to do? Ah, please, take care of him Boris. Understood, sir. No, no, no, Boris, I mean, show him a good time. No, no, I mean, like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho, tho, thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. this, this, this, this this this this this this this this this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, th. this, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. th. tho. th. tho. tho., no, I mean like, you know, take him to

concert or something. Ah, yes. Performance in the sky, right away. No, no, I'm saying like, maybe, you know what, just kill him. This is taking too much of my time. But clearly, people, this exchange is the beginning of a much more confrontational relationship between America and Russia. And that's going to be tricky. Because, th, th, th, th, tho thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the the the theeeeeeeeeeeean, thin, theeeea. thean, theeeean, performance, theeeee tricky. Because on the one hand, Joe Biden is probably right to call out Vladimir Putin's aggression. But on the other hand, I'm pretty sure that Vladimir Putin has all of my passwords. So I think he's doing a great job. Now, while Biden is fending off Putin,

he's also dealing with a crisis closer to home at the Mexican border. Because even though Biden ended some of Trump's cruel immigration policies and is trying to return children who Trump separated from their families, that has not been enough to end the suffering. President Biden urging migrants not to make the journey to the U.S. as the White House works to get a handle on the surge at the southern border. Nearly 4,300 unaccompanied children were in Border Patrol custody as of Sunday afternoon, according to data obtained by NBC News. The new figures are a record high. Nearly 3,000 of those children

have been in custody over the 72-hour legal limit. In an interview with ABC News, the president pushing back on criticism, migrants are crossing in such large numbers because he has reversed several Trump-era immigration policies. The idea that Joe Biden said come, because I heard the other day that they're coming because they know I'm a nice guy. Well, here's the deal. They're not. Do you have to say quite clearly don't come? Yes, I can say quite clearly don't come. Don't leave your town or city or community. Hmm. Okay, that's worth a shot, I guess.

But the phrase, don't come isn't going to prevent immigration any more than it prevented pregnancy on Vigitin. Because Biden is still being way more welcoming than people are used to. I mean, don't come is basically an engraved invitation compared to, you shihold country, rapists need to pay for our wall. But that's right, border crossings are surging right now. And the part that's causing the most concern is what to do with the unaccompanied children. Because under Trump, they would just be sent back to terrible migrant camps in Mexico. Biden, on the other hand, wants to send them through the asylum process in

the US. But the problem is the system is too overwhelmed to do it quickly. So the kids are languishing entertainment camps here. And please, let's not forget to have empathy for these migrants, because who can blame parents for their children a better life. I mean, there's just so many more opportunities for them in America. I mean, think about it, Blue Ivy just won a Grammy. Who wouldn't want that for their child? Before we go, it is Women's History Month, so please consider supporting Black Girls Code, an organization dedicated to leveling the playing field for girls girls to change

their lives using technology and change all of our lives as well for the better. If you can help out, go to the link below and donate whatever you can. The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the daily Show.com. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. If you're listening to this ad, it's no accident unless you forgot to hit Skip,

but for marketers, finding the right audience matters, we worked hard for your attention. But you don't need to for your business. With Paramount Ads manager, now you can reach huge audiences onsesesesesesesesesesesesesesese on the the the their to to Twitter on Twitter on Twitter on Twitter on their to to their to Twitter on Twitter on to Twitter on their to Twitter on to Twitter on to Twitter on to Twitter on to Twitter on to Twitter on to Twitter on to to Twitter to Twitter on to Twitter on to to to to to to to Twitter, and to Twitter, and to Twitter, and to to to to to to to to to Twitter and to to to to Twitter and to to to Twitter and to Twitter and to to Twitter and to to Twitter and to Twitter, to Twitter, to Twitter, to Twitter, to Twitter, to Twitter to Twitter the their their their their their their their their their their their the right audience matters. We worked hard for your attention. But you don't need to for your business. With Paramount Ads Manager, now you can reach huge audiences on the hottest shows on TV. That's right, big shows aren't just for the big brands. You can get 30-second views on TV instead of three in their social feeds. Best of all, it's easy. Sign up today, be on TV tomorrowparamount.com. That's ADS manager.paramount.com to learn more. Do nice guys really finish last? I'm Tim Harford, host of the Cautionary Tales podcast, and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. From New York to Tahiti,

will examine villains undone by their villainy. Monstrous, self-deviring examine villains undone by their villainy, monstrous self-devaring egos and accounts of the extraordinary power of decency. Listen on the IHart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.