The Daily Show: Ears Edition - This Week's Top Stories - Biden-Carter Photo Op, Trump's Facebook Ban, Josh Fight & More

Episode Date: May 8, 2021

Joe and Jill Biden tower over Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter in a bizarre photo, Facebook formally extends its temporary ban of Donald Trump,and men named Josh gather for a friendly fight. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. President Biden took a break from looking for a White House cat for his dog major to rip apart and went down to Georgia where he and the First Lady met up

with their oldest and most adorable predecessors. We want to show you this photo from the Carter Center. This was the visit of President Biden and Dr. Jill Biden with Jimmy and Rosalind Carter in Georgia last week. The former president is 96, the first lady in 93, and Brianna, they're gonna celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary in July. That's amazing, 75 years. It's great to see this photo. Okay, guys, I mean, don't give you wrong.

I'm really happy to see these people all together, and smiling and everything. What the Bidans on in this photo? Like, why do the Biden's look five times bigger than the Cotters? Is there some dollhouse filter that I didn't know about? Because I've been staring at this thing the whole day, and I still can't figure out what's going on? I can't figure out if the B time, like, what were the photographer's instructions here?

All right, guys, we're gonna do a normal one, and then we're gonna do a goofy one, and then we're gonna do one where it looks like you're from two separate dimensions, yeah? We good? Honestly, this is the weirdest picture of a president, thogether to make me think that I'm on shrooms. What is one of the biggest concerns people have about modern technology? Privacy, right?

Because our phones know everything about us. What music we listen to, how much sleep we get, what our face looks like when we're pooping. But now, Apple is going to give you a little more control over how widely that information is shared. You know how it goes. You search for something online, then see an ad on Facebook or Instagram for that exact item. Well, Apple is making it harder for apps to track your online activity. When you're using apps on your iPhone, you may start to see this.

Apple users must now give permission for apps to track your online activity data before you could only opt out. It's about time. Jenny Gephard is with the privacy non-profit, the electronic frontier foundation. Switching from opt-out to opt-in is huge. That is what's going to really make a lot more users opt out of this tracking feature that wasn't built for users, it was built for advertisers. That's right, people.

With the new iOS update, you have to opt in to being tracked online instead of having to opt out. And I know it might seem like a small change, but this is a huge deal because people are lazy as shit. Like, think about it. If Apple said that th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. That's th. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thooooooooooooooooo. It's the. That's the. Like, think about it. If Apple said that they were going to put all your nudes online, unless you opt it out, you'd probably be like, what? No ways? What?

Where's that opt-out option? Ah, settings? General. Uh, where? Where? You know what? I'm proud of my third nipple. Let's just do this. I don't care. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't tho. I don't th. I don't to that. I don't to to to to to to to to to to to tho. I don't to to to to to to to to to to to to to. I. I to to. I to. I to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. th to th the. the the th too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tos to do. And people don't understand how much information Facebook is actually getting from your other apps. Like, you think it's a small thing. You know how you always like to your friends, oh, I was talking about something, and then it popped up. Is my phone listening to me?

No, it's the apps. Like, if you're in Atlanta and you check the weather in Vermont, it won't wait for you to search for a winter coat before it starts showing you to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to your to your to your to your to your to your to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thrines. thrines. thrii. thrii. throoooooooooooooooesfexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxubhub, well, then the ads will show you a coat. That's two sizes up, because it knows. So, this new privacy feature is good news for iPhone users, but it turns out it's very bad news for one of Apple's biggest rivals, Facebook. In fact, it's so bad for them that they've started throwing up pop-ups, begging everyone to let them keep tracking us and warning us that if we don't, Facebook might stop being free of charge. And I'm not going to lie to people, that seems like an empty threat to me.

Because who would pay to be on Facebook with the type of people willing to pay to be on Facebook? I mean, that's like if a crack house had a cover charge. I actually wouldn't mind if Facebook started charging people, because I think if they did, maybe people would actually think for a second before they posted. The government puts fluoride in the water to brainwash us. Post. Two dollars?

Well, I'll keep it to myself. Now, the reason Facebook needs to track its users is so that it can charge big bucks to advertisers who want to target very specific audiences. But Mark Zuckerberg knows that people don't care if he can't afford to give his Hovercraft and Lamborghini for its birthday. So instead, he's asking you to think about the poor companies that'll suffer if he can't track you. Facebook said Apple's move will harm their small business advertisers. It's going to kill us. It's going to kill us.

But from Monique Wilson DeBriano, who was featured in a Facebook campaign and owns Charleston Gourmeyburger, the change has already affected sales and she's had to cut costs. It's not about, you know, small businesses wanting to take away anyone's privacy. All we want to do is really just service our customers better. So if someone loves hamburgers and they're looking for something that is just awesome, you know, to make your hamburgers taste better, I would like to show my ad to you. And this update takes that away from small businesses like mine. Okay, now this is interesting. I mean, I don't like getting tracked, but it is true that it does help some small businesses

target their ads, you know? And the truth is in life, bad things can't have good side effects. You know, it's like how serial killers are bad. We all agree that they're bad. But you do get a lot of really interesting podcast out of them. Yeah? No. So I can't see what Facebook is trying to argue here. They're saying do you really want to hurt small businesses before Amazon has a chance to bankrupt them? And honestly I wouldn't mind targeted ads that much but the

thing is it's how it is how Facebook tracks all of us that I don't like. Like it will be one thing if Facebook Facebook Facebook Facebook Facebook Facebook Facebook to to to to to to to the Facebook. to to the Facebook. the to the the the the th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they they they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they they're they're they're they's like. I they's like. I they's like. they's like. they's like. they's like they's like. they's like they they they they they they they they they they. I they. I they. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I to thi. I to thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I thi. I'm thi. It is how Facebook tracks all of us that I don't like. Like, it will be one thing if Facebook asked me, Hey, Trevor, do you like hamburgers? Ah, we're gonna show you stuff about food. But what Facebook actually does is basically just send some guy named Gary to just stalk my entire life. Hey, Trevor, I heard you like hamburgers. What? How did you know that? He he he I read an email you said to your girlfriend.

So maybe you're still not swayed by the effect of this change on small businesses. And that's why Facebook is also warning of the bleak future that awaits all of us if they can't track our every movement anymore. Facebook's pushing back. It relies on that data to target consumers with relevant ads. all of us if they can't track our every movement anymore. Facebook's pushing back. It relies on that data to target consumers with relevant ads. So if people do opt out, here's what Facebook says could happen. Say a young man is looking for a new pair of sneakers on his phone. Facebook claims that with Apple's new rules, it won't be able to use his search history and information

about what other apps he uses to show him ads for thinks he wants to use his search history and information about what other apps he uses to show him ads for things he wants to buy. So on Facebook or Instagram he could end up seeing ads for women's clothing or furniture. Really? This is a real argument? Come on man, get the fuck out of here guys. We've lived our entire lives watching untargeted ads, right? TV ads, newspaper ads, billboards. None of those were targeted and we were fine All right now all of a sudden they're making it seem like we can't live without them Like we're gonna be like oh no, oh no, I'll have to watch untargeted ads But how will I know if a product isn't for me? What if I buy tampons because I didn't know that I don't have a period what? What if I buy food? But I don't have a dog. Am I a dog? Am I a dog one tampon? I don't know!

We can handle untargeted ads. In fact, sometimes untargeted ads introduce you to things that you never knew you needed. Yeah, like a shower seat. I didn't think about that before I came to America. And then now that I'm here, I realize that I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm th. that, I'm th th thi. th thi. th thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th th th to to th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told, I told, I told, I told, I told. th told. told. thi. thi. thi. told. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge, I toge. toge, toge. toge, toe, toe, toe. to know on top of all that, Facebook makes it seem, they make it seem like all they use that data for is to sell us the products that we want. But don't forget that the reason you often only see posts that make you mad as hell is because of all the time Facebook is tracking you and they use that targeting to piss you off. It it it it it it it it. It it. It's th. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Facebook. Facebook. Facebook. Facebook. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the the the the the the th. It's thi. It's to. It's to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the th the the th the the th the th the th th the time Facebook is tracking you and they use that targeting to piss you off.

It's not a coincidence that Facebook is always telling you that Joe Biden is going to make the Bible Spanish only or that Trump stole all the mailboxes to give to Kim Jong-un. It's because they know how to keep you engaged for as long as possible, and they know this by tracking you. And again, I'm not pro-Apple here, right? But Apple didn't build their entire business model on stalking you. Facebook did. And if moving society away from tracking people

means that Gary has to find a new job, then you know what? So be it. But then, Trev, who will recommend creams for your tonai fungus? Get the fuck out of here Gary! Donald J. Trump, former United States President and the reason America will be paying for decades of therapy. It has been five months since Trump was indefinitely suspended from Facebook for the minor infraction of trying to overthrow the government. I mean, who hasn't done that? But today brought some new clarity on where you will and won't be seeing Trump online going forward.

Decision day this morning in a Facebook face-off with the company's independent oversight board upholding the decision to keep former President Donald Trump off the platform, at least for now. But the board, a kind of Supreme Court for Facebook, says it's not appropriate for the company to just make the ban indefinite, giving Facebook six months to review its decision. Donald Trump already moving on from the traditional social media sites ahead of the decision. He's launched his own new blog called from the desk of Donald J. Trump. The blog posts are formatted like tweets and include options for people to post the content on other social media sites. People can sign up for alerts so they know when the former

president writes something. Hold up! This dude has been saying for months that he's gonna create a whole new social media platform to rival Twitter and Facebook and he just ended up making a blog. And not just that, he's called the blog from the desk of Donald Trump. When we know for a fact that he doesn't spend any time there. I mean, you might as well call it from the juice bar of Donald Trump. But I get it. You know, Trump had to do something to distract from the fact that he lost his appeal to get back on Facebook.

Or as he put it, we want this appeal in a landslide. Everyone knows it, so many victories. And look, I get why Facebook extended Trump suspension. But you have to admit, it does seem pretty unfair to ban him from a website that began as a way to rate women's looks. Oh, and just as a side note, it's crazy that Facebook even has a Supreme Court to make these decisions. What's even crazier, Ms. Mitch McConnell has already appointed four of its justices.

If you've got a court, well I'm frilling it. According to the internet, Winston Churchill once said, History will be kind to me. I know this because I intend to write it. Now I'm not sure that he should have been so confident about how history would work because it turns out that he never actually said that. But he did say something very similar to it, which makes it more accurate than most quotes on the internet. And to be honest, I guess there's just something very powerful about having a person having some italicized texts next to their face. But the point about history being written by the winners is

true. I mean just look at the American Revolution. America won that war. So history teaches it as a fight for freedom against the tyranny of England. But best believe if England had won the war? Well history would be about how tyranny of England. But best believe if England had won the war? Well history would be about how they put down a riot by a bunch of cheating thugs. These domestic terrorists threw our tea into Boston Harbor while dressed as Native Americans, which aside from being criminal is very problematic. And if history is taught by the winners, nobody in America is winning more than white people, which is why so much of what's in schools

has been from their point of view. The African-American history is not taught adequately. What we learn essentially is a white-washed history. Studies have found less than 10% of class time is devoted to black history. Only 8% of seniors can identify slavery as a central cause of the civil war. There is no national standard for what history is taught. Each state sets standards which outlines what students are expected to learn. Seven states do not directly mention slavery. And eight do not mention the civil rights movement. Only two states mentioned

white supremacy. Kids learn that slavery was bad, but we ended it. Some stuff happened, but Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks kind of fixed that. And now look, Barack Obama, we had a black president, racism is over. We're done. Yeah, it's pretty crazy that most students in America are only taught about a handful of important black Americans. Because can you imagine if it were the other way around? Welcome everybody to White History 101.

We start off with Thomas Jefferson, where it all began. And then, well, nothing really happened until Tom Hanks. Class dismissed. But yeah, basically, America treats history the way most people treat their browser history. Just delete all the embarrassing stuff and hope no one notices. But the good news is that as society changes, they re-examine their past and ask themselves, should we keep telling ourselves what we wish happened or should we understand what actually happened?

And that's what's happening in American schools right now. Students are asking their school administrators to incorporate anti-racist education into their curriculum. They aim to have books written by a person of color and their life struggles are required part of the curriculum. In North Carolina a committee of social studies educators propose that the term systemic racism should be included in the state's curriculum standard. California State Board of Education has created the nation's first statewide model for ethnic studies curriculum at the high

school level. Education officials say that kids do need to learn about discrimination and oppression that textbooks often overlook. A lot of times in school you don't see a big representation of black history. I see comments all the time saying I learn more on TikTok than I do for my own school. Yeah, that's how much education is lacking in America. Kids are going to TikTok to learn, which is insane. Social media isn't supposed to be a school.

It's supposed to be where you post stuff that gets you suspended from school. And I'm not saying you can't learn about history on Tick Tock. Please don't get me wrong. I'm just saying you gotta be careful not to mix up history with everything else happening on Tick Tock. Wait, so Harriet Tubman started the Underground Railroad and the weight loss dance? Pretty dope. Now look, reexamining your history is not easy to do, especially if it requires some self-criticism. You know, in many ways, writing history is like a breakup. Each person wants to tell the story about how they were the one who was right and the other person was an asshole.

You know, it feels better to say, she wasn't nice to my family, as opposed to, she found out about my secret second wife. And in the same way as American schools are starting to change what they teach about America's history with racism, it's causing a strong reaction from people who aren't comfortable with what their kids are learning. There's growing backlash tonight against what critics call the indoctrination of public school

students in an anti-white curriculum. It has to do with the teaching of what is called critical race theory. Critical race theory teaches people and our children to judge one another not based on the content of their character, but solely on the color of their skin. It would have our children growing up hating this country and hating one another. It teaches more less that America is inherently racist, stating more or less that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, this country, and hating one another. It teaches more less that America is inherently racist, stating more or less that if you're born white, you are necessarily racist. Essentially, every white person should apologize for being white and what happened 200 plus years ago.

We are tired of the continual drumbeat of our educational system, as used the program of our kids to program our kids into thinking that America is a country of hate and division. Just because I do not want critical race theory taught to my children in school does not mean that I am a racist, damn it. Bravo. Tearing up is like a white woman's go-to move for getting out of any sticky situation. Well, if it got me out of a speeding ticket, let's see if it works on a historical reckoning.

Look, I get why these parents are upset. I mean, they don't want their children learning that white people are inherently racist. But that's not necessarily what teaching about racism does. For example, a big reason why American neighborhoods are segregated today is because historically the government made it almost impossible for black people who tried to move into white neighborhoods. It was called redlining and it was a societal structure that still has racist effects.

Even if no white people in those neighborhoods now are personally bigots. The point is that you can look at your history critically without believing that you are personally to blame for it. And a good example of this is Germany, right? They teach the Holocaust in the schools. But little Klaus isn't walking home from class like, oh, mama, mama, I'm a Nazi. They say that I was Hitler and I did the same thing as him, even so I'm five years old. No, that doesn't happen, because Germans understand that

that we learn from history to grow from it, not to wallow in it. But you see, what's happening right now is that in America, some people don't understand that. And their hysteria is spilling into actual laws. Several states, including Florida, Idaho, and Iowa have worked to ban the 1619 project and critical race theory from their core education plans. Arkansas became the latest state, where state agencies are barred from teaching any concept that the United States is an inherently racist nation.

In Louisiana, a Republican lawmaker is now under fire for comments he made on the House floor when proposing the theory's elimination from academic curriculum. If you're having a discussion on whatever the case may be on slavery, then you can talk about everything dealing with slavery, the good, the bad, the ugly, the ugly, the whole. There's no good the good, there the the there there there there there there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, the the there, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th. th. th, th. th. th. In. In. In. In. th, th, th. th. th. th. thi. thi. theree, theree, theree, theree, thereea. threatea.ea.ea.ea.a. thereea. theree, theree, their their their their their their there slavery, then you can talk about everything dealing with slavery, the good, the bad, the ugly, the whole... There's no good to slavery though. Well, then whatever the case may be, you're right, you're right. I didn't mean to imply that. Wow, guys, wow.

It's almost like this guy wasn't properly taught about America's history with racism. Although, I am glad that that that that that that that thii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thate thate thate thate tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thate is thate is thate is thate is thate is thatea. thea.a.a. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea's thea. the istaught about America's history with racism. Huh. Although, I am glad that he recognized how wrong he was. You know, but part of me does wish that he had just kept on digging in. Oh really? You think that no good came from slavery? What? I'm the only one who likes the blues? None of you like the blues? Who's the real racist now? Still me? And you know what's that's that's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's thi thi thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus? thus? thus thus thus thus tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' thoom? thoom? thoom? thoom? tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. tho the. tho tho the. And you know what's really weird about this whole thing? Is how the same people who freak out about cancel culture now want to use the

power of the government to stop bad ideas from getting into schools. But I guess the solution is, if anyone really wants to get anti-racism education in schools, well they should put the curriculum in Mr. Potato Head's penis and that way, conservatives will defend that shit to th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. Is the their th. Is their th. Is their their their is th. Is th. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is their. Is their. Is their, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. thi. thi. thi.? Well, they should put the curriculum in Mr. Potato Head's penis, and that way, conservatives will defend that shit to the death. Now, look, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that systemic racism is behind all of America's problems. In my opinion, I think a lot more laws are written

to protect the upper also screw over poor white people. Like a lot of counties in America, pull poor people over and ticket them for random things, like tail lights or whatever they want to, just to meet their quotas. But what they won't do is do that kind of thing on Wall Street. They don't pull people over who have access to lawyers or access to power. No one's frisking down the guys from Wall Street to check if they have cocaine. They want to go after poor people. And it just so happens that the easiest way to find poor people in America is to look at the color of their skin.

Because if they're black, the chances are higher that they're poor. Or look at howthat's just me. The bigger issue that is being brought up with this controversy is, what is the point of teaching history? Like, what is the actual point? Is it to make kids feel good that they live in a perfect country with no problems? Or is it to give them an unsparing assessment of how society got where it is, so that they have the the the the tools tools tools the tools tools tools tools tools tools tools tools tools the tools tools tools tools to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be toe toe toe toe toe toe to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be toe? toe? toe. toe. toole. toolea toolea toooosuoosuoosuoosuoosuia.a. toeckeateathea. toeathea. toeathea. toe. toe. toe. to give them an unsparing assessment of how society got where it is so that they have the tools to change it in a better direction? And I say it

should be the latter, because otherwise, as a wise person once said, those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a second look starting September 17th wherever you get your podcasts.

Last year when the pandemic started a guy named Josh sent a Facebook message to a bunch of other guys named Josh, challenging them all into a fight in one year's time. And unlike most of us who can't even keep plans we made earlier in the day, these guys actually followed through on it. What's in a name? Well just ask Josh or ask all of them who gathered in Lincoln, Nebraska for a pool noodle brawl. Three, two, one, two, one. A guy named Josh created a Josh fight at the start of the pandemic and then challenged all Joshes to a duel.

The event got the attention of Josh's from all over the nation. But the winner of the friendly fight was the smallest Josh of them all. Four-year-old Josh was honored with a paper crown and bragging rights. Oh, congruence to little Josh for winning that Josh fight. And condolences to the family of Josh Groban, who that child beats into a coma. No, but seriously, it's really cool to see Joshes from all around the country coming together to have some harmless fun. Usually when that many joshes are thoshes thoshes thoshes thoshes thoshes thoshes thoshes thoshes thoshes thoshes the thoshes the tho- tho-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o' the-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-up. their their their their their the around the country coming together to have some harmless fun. You know, usually when that many Joshes are in the same place, the only thing that comes out of it is what, a hedge fund? And you know, that's one of the cool things about the internet is that it lets these kind of events happen organically, you know, for no reason at all. Well, I mean, it's either that, or maybe this was actually a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, or maybe, or maybe, or maybe, or maybe, or maybe, or maybe, or maybe, or maybe, thi. thi. thi. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. the. the. that's that's that's that's that's that's that that's the. the Josh Dugger. Either way, it worked.

And you know, after watching this, I realize that we need to crown a champion for every name, because too often I meet someone, like say my neighbor Steve, and I think to myself, is this the best Steve I could be talking to? I mean, I have limited time in my life. Am I gonna spend it on some subpar Steve? Yeah I'm talking about you again. Yeah, you want to make noise at night? You think I'm not going to talk about you on my show? The only name you couldn't try this with is Karen. Yeah, don't ever try, create a Karen fight. A Karen fight will be much less fun. All right, is everybody ready? All right, let's do a field. Come hell. 911, come quickly. Someone is calling the cops on me.

Everyone's on their phone and I'm scared. You get down here right now, or I'm going to sue the city! The Republican Party. It's the only party that Mitch McConnell has ever been invited to. Party people in the house. Say, ma. Ever since Donald Trump got the party's presidential nomination in 2016, the GOP has been divided. Between politicians who love Trump's brash, grab him by the pussy style,

and those who believe in more traditional Republican values, like telling poor people to stop being poor. And now, one of the last holdouts among the anti-Trump traditionalists may be about to get the boot. Tonight, the firestorm over Congresswoman Liz Cheney's position in the Republican Party is growing with top Republican Steve Scalise saying she needs to be removed from her role as the third-ranking GOP leader. At issue, Cheney's fierce criticism of former President Trump, arguing he should not be

a part of the GOP's future after the capital attack and his false claims of election fraud. I think that it was the gravest violation of an oath of office by any president in American history. Cheney survived one removal vote after she voted to impeach Mr. Trump in January. But her GOP critics have only gotten louder. Another removal vote is likely to come next week on Wednesday. Top House Republican Kevin McCarthy caught on a hot mic obtained by media.

I've had it with her. It's, you know, I've lost confidence. Liz Cheney remains defiant, warning her colleagues in a new Washington post op-ed that history is watching, calling this a turning point. Uh, the GOP is at a turning point? Nigger, that happened a long time ago. Don't you remember Jeb Bush flying out of the car? That was the turn.

That was the ultimate turn. Still though, I've got to give props to Liz Cheney for risking her political career to stand up for what she believes in. Because you don't see that very often. You know, it's like seeing someone use an iPhone as an actual phone. You're always like, damn, shit, I totally forgot that they could do that. Wow! Say what's up to my grandmother for me, man. And yes, it is a little weird to see a party be so loyal to a guy who doesn't have a loyal to a loyal to a loyal to a loyal to a loyal to a loyal to a loyal to a loyal to a loyal to see a party be so loyal to a guy who doesn't have a loyal bone in his body, or possibly any bones in his body, but loyalty to Trump is a defining principle of the GOP right now. And if she doesn't agree with that, it doesn't make much sense for her to be one of the party's leaders. You know, like I think

Greta Tumberg makes some great points, but I don't think that she should be on the board of Exxon Mobil. Have we considered that instead of selling oil you all go to prison for killing the planet? Can you stop proposing that every meeting? Who invites her to these things? Why is she here? And you might think it's weird that the party is so outraged over one person saying Donald Trump lost the election? But the reason they're so mad about Liz thii? that that that that that that that that that thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? their, their, their, thi, their, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. to to to to to to to to th. to th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thee the thei. thei. theiiiiii. theii. thei. the the thi, thi, thi, the election. But the reason they're so mad about Liz Cheney is that they don't accept, that is the truth. 70% of Republicans think Joe Biden probably stole the election. And even now, there are still efforts going on to overturn the results in close states, including a big one in Arizona.

A pitched partisan battle over the 2020 election is raging on in Arizona right now. The GOP-controlled state Senate is carrying out a third audit of Arizona's largest county, even though two prior bipartisan audits found zero evidence of widespread fraud or other issues. The audit is being conducted by people who participated in the insurrections. Anthony Kern, a former state lawmaker who was at the U.S. Capitol in January 6, is among the people helping to count and inspect Maricopa County ballots. Overseeing the exercise of Florida cyber security firm called cyber ninjas. It's run by someone who amplified election conspiracy theories.

Hell yeah! The Arizona votes are being recounted by cyber ninjas. Hia! Hia! Loot and punch! Serve a chop! Hiya! Grrrh! I mean, I thought regular ninjas were cool, but cyber ninjas?

Those are the kind of ninjas who will steal your Wi-Fi password, and then, when you turn around to look for them, your head falls off. Guys, I really love ninjas. Like ever since I was a little kid, my 10th birthday party was me and a big group of invisible ninjas. And now that I'm saying it out loud, I realize my mom just told me that because no one showed up. Mom! Now, you might think it's crazy to have election conspiracy theorists in charge of an election audit,

but to me, this makes perfect sense. Because don't forget, this is the third audit they've done in Arizona. At this point, you won't going through the effort of counting again unless you know the guys you're hiring are going to give you the result you want. This is just smart. And if you're wondering how a bunch of conspiracy nuts are going to turn a Biden win into a Trump win, the answer is in the craziest way possible. The Arizona Senate's ballot recount has been plagued with questions from the beginning. Investigative reporter Morgan Lowe exposed exposed major security lapses such as open

doors that allowed access to equipment and ballots. It was also reported blue pens that can be used to alter ballots were handed out to volunteers. On Friday a judge ordered cyber ninjas, the private company hired to do the audit, provide documents, the private company's, the private company's, the te. Among the many conspiratorial revelations from the release of the internal cyber ninja documents, an intense fear of an attack and breach by Antifa and the use of UV light to look for fraud. According to a Q&on theory, the UV light will reveal watermarks that Donald Trump put on the ballots to trap cheating Democrats. Another bizarre twist that I was just telling you about moments ago in the Arizona audid.

Auditors are now looking for bamboo in ballots. Audit official John Brakey says there are accusations that 40,000 ballots were smuggled in from Asia. While there's no evidence of this, Brakey says auditors are using cameras now to look for bamboo fibers in ballot paper. No, no, no, no, I'm sorry, no. America's not real. No. These dudes are searching the ballots for bamboo, like a bunch of starving pandas.

Like, who are these people? You know, sometimes, I actually wish that I was a conspiracy theorist because there is never a dull moment. Like, they can turn a regular ass Thursday into an Indiana Jones movie, like this. And just so you know, they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've the the the the the the the the the the the theck tho tho th And just so you know, they've been looking at these ballots with UV lights for two weeks now and they haven't found any secret watermarks. But they did find that 98% of the ballots have jizz

on them. Yeah, this is why you can't put curtains on voting boots. People are disgusting. Now, it's easy to dismiss this Arizona audit, but there's at least one person who's pretty sure that it's going to put Donald Trump back in power. And you'll never guess who that person is. Former President Donald Trump, meanwhile, continues to perpetuate the big lie about election fraud. Video has surfaced of him addressing a crowd at Marilago last Wednesday, discussing the Republican-led recount that's currently underway in Arizona's Maricopa County.

Let's see what they find. I wouldn't be surprised if they found thousands and thousands and thousands of votes. So we're going to watch that very closely and after that you'll watch Pennsylvania and you watch Georgia and you're going to watch Michigan and Wisconsin and you're watching New Hampshire. They found a lot of votes up in New Hampshire just now. Oh my God, Donald, what happened to you? This guy was the president of the United States just a few months ago, and now he's like the world's worst wedding DJ. And I'm not even gloating here. It is sad to see DJT reduced to crashing parties at Maralago.

In fact, if they were smart, Maralago would charge you extra to have Trump not appear at your wedding. Um, if possible, could we not have the former president interrupt my father, daughter, dance to rant about the stolen election? Ooh, you want a spring for the deluxe package. Of course, darling. I do feel, though, that we're discovering a new rule of physics here. If Donald Trump comes into contact with a microphone, he's gonna ramble about how the election was rigged. Doesn't even have to be a wedding.

He'll take over anything. Can even be a funeral. And we just saw that they found some votes in Pennsylvania. So unlike Timothy here, we're very much alive, people, very much alive. But look, the truth is, Trump ranting about the stolen election to an audience that eats up every word, that is the Republican Party right now. And it looks more and more like that's not a party Liz Cheney can be a leader in. Before we go, May is Mental Health Awareness Month, so please consider supporting an organization called the Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation,

founded by Taraji P. Hansen. This is a non-profit committed to eradicating the stigma of mental health issues specifically in the African-American community. By supporting the Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation, you are helping to increase the number of African-American community. By supporting the Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation, you are helping to increase the number of African-American therapists, combat recidivism within the prison system, and provide mental health support in urban schools. If you're able to help, please go to the link below and donate whatever you can.

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But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.