The Daily Show: Ears Edition - This Week's Top Stories - China's Hypersonic Missile, Striketober & Vaccine-Resistant Cops

Episode Date: October 23, 2021

China launches a hypersonic space missile, over 100,000 American workers go on strike, U.S. police officers push back against COVID-19 vaccination mandates, and more. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts.

All right, let's begin with a crazy story out of Texas. The junk in America's trunk. Texas is one of the many states where schools have been cracking down on critical race theory, which I actually agree on. If black people want to learn about racism in Texas, they're going to have to do it the old-fashioned way by trying to vote. Now, just so you understand, Texas lawmakers were against the idea of teachers telling students that America's institutions are founded on white supremacy and instead they're saying that if a class covers certain controversial topics it must present all sides without saying

who's right or wrong. And last week one school official went beyond what the law even requires telling teachers that being fed to everyone rarely does mean everyone. Make sure that if you have a book on the Holocaust that you have one that has opposing that has other books. How do you oppose the Holocaust? I know what? Believe me that's come up. I'm sorry what? You can't teach the opposing view of the Holocaust. That's Facebook's job. Stay in your lane teachers. And look, teachers to th, if th, if th, if th, if th, if th, if th, if th, if th, if th, if th, if thi, if thi, if thi, if thi, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you thi, if you thi, if you thi, if you, if you, if you thi, if you thi, if you thi, if you thi, if you thi, if you thi, if you thi, if you thi, if you thi, if you thi, if you thi, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. If you thi. If you thi------------------------------tea-tea. thi.the opposing view of the Holocaust. That's Facebook's job. Stay in your lane, teachers. And look, telling teachers to present opposing perspectives,

regardless of merit, isn't just bad from an education point of view. I mean, it's making teachers do twice as much work, which is unfair. Like, you know what, I think if you're gonna teacher who's like the evil version of that teacher, you know, like you have a Mario and then you have a warrior. Kids, Lincoln was the great emancipator. Nah, that bitch got what he deserved. And I'll be honest though, I don't have a problem with teaching opposing theories for everything. You know, I just wish that they had this policy when I was in school. Yeah, you say I have have have have. Davenport, but I say that's some bullshit.

Who's to say who's right? Look, man, here's a bigger question. Why is, why do we have to keep Texas as a state? Why does every state have to be, like, remain a state? We should be able to re-vote on Texas, the same way you're trying to vote. Just trade out Texas, give us Puerto Rico. You don't even have to change the flag. You actually want to vote out Texas, Roy? What would we miss? If we lost Texas state, what we miss? We miss Texas toast.

Okay. We missed the Dallas Cowboys. their thanks. they might might, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thooo. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. that. tho. tho. thoen. thoom. tho. that. thoen. thoen. thoen. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoen. th. We. We. We. th. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. th. We. tha. thoe. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. tod. toda. today. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toe. toe. to queen. They might go with that, but I think you might start a war. You know when I really could have used some of this other side stuff? The Spelling Bee. Because if we're going to talk about who lost, who should have won, it was me. Spellingby, Central Park Elementary, fourth grade, misspelled, coldslaw. I never heard of that shit. So how did you spell it?

So, thi I never heard of that shit. So how did you spell it? C-O-L-D-S-L-A-U, Cold Slaw. True story, why y'all laughing? That's actually not bad spelling, to be honest with you. If you ain't never heard a Coleslaw, so yes, we should rewrite history. I won the Spellambi. You know what they gave a white boy? Mountain. I heard of a mountain. You never heard a coastline.

Go good with this sandwich, so. I feel you there, man. All right, let's move on to a story out of China. The country hogging most of Asia. It was just discovered that China tested what's called a hypersonic missile that flew around the world, get this in space before landing back on earth. Yeah, the world in less than a day, by the way, which means China has invented Santa Claus technology in real life. And experts were shocked about this because one US intelligence officials

said, quote, we have no idea how they did this, which is not something you want to hear from intelligence officials. I mean, at the very least, they should have just pretended that they weren't caught unawares. Yeah, yeah, we totally know how this happened. But why don't you tell us first? Well, how do you think it happened? Why don't you tell us, please?

But yeah, this is definitely another step in the global militarization of space, and personally, I don't. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I don't I I I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't know why America doesn't start some sort of space military. What's that? It did. Oh and I said it was going to be as effective as Mike Pence has an orgy. Oh that doesn't sound like me. Now the good news is that the missile test wasn't perfect. It actually missed its target by two dozen miles which is not great for a missile. I mean, speed is important, but so is accuracy. You know, Usain Bolt wouldn't have won many medals if every time the race started, he just sprinted into the stands. But this has people concerned, especially about China's growing military capabilities. And the truth is if you ask China about it, they don't seem to want us to worry at all.

China's foreign minister says the launch back in August involved a spacecraft, not a missile, and says it's nothing more than a routine test to see if that spacecraft could be reused. Just a spacecraft? I don't know, guys. The last time China said it was just allergies and look at what happened And by the way even if it is just a spacecraft What difference is that gonna make because if a spacecraft cratches into my house? I'm not gonna be like well at least it wasn't a missile I mean I'm still dead but I feel better. I feel way better Who who was responsible for checking up on China? Like we need like like Earth we need like a better home owners association? I feel way better. Who is responsible for checking up on China?

Like we need like, like Earth, we need like a better homeowners association. Because at this point, China is basically that neighbor that's always just shooting fireworks into the air and all that stuff. They're killing the game. Yeah, you can't behave like that though. Somebody got to say, hey, I don't know if y'all notice, but China is shooting the missiles again can someone say something to China please. The other issue with this missile shit, you just can't be shoot, why are you shooting missiles in the space? What if it don't come back? And then the aliens think we're busting at them and you think when the aliens come back they're gonna go, which one of you countries shot at us? No, everybody did. Because the crazy neighbor shot a bullet somewhere. You want to shoot a bullet, you touch a missile, shoot a missile into the ocean. That's where you shoot a missile. We know it's in the ocean.

Godzilla, Malthra, and them two sharks, the L.L.Cooljay was fighting. So you know. All right, our final story is from New Zealand, aka Wakanda for white people. There is so much to love about the country. I mean it's got natural beauty, it's got its ancient culture and how its flag looks like it's on a zoom call with Britain's flag. But what I love is how quirky New Zealand can be. For instance, for more than 20 years now, the city of Christchurch has had an official wizard. It's completely true. And this guy actually has been paid around 11,000 US dollars a year to be the official wizard of Christchurch. Which is a weird salary when you think about it, right? I mean $11,000 is way too high for a guy

who's not really a wizard, but it's also way too low for a real wizard. I mean if a guy can turn me into a frog, he can name his price. But now, Christchurch is saying, the wizard no longer fits the city's modern image, and they are going to let him go. And this wizard is definitely not happy about this right now, because he's had this job for so long, and as he's made clear a little while ago, he definitely deserves it. I'm the only wizard in the world that has any reason to be called a wizard, and I'm trained a university, appointed by a vice chancellor, and since 1990, appointed by the government of New Zealand

as an official wizard. So I'm a real wizard and not some idiot wearing a hat who's a hippie and take to be drugs. Okay. Yo, I'm like, to be honest, I feel like this whole thing would be less weird if this guy was on drugs. I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, has has thi, has thi, has thi's is thi's is thi's thii's thiiiiiiiiiiiiii's is thi's is thi's thi, is thi, is th I feel like this whole thing would be less weird if this guy was on drugs. I mean, I get that he doesn't want to be associated with people who drop too much acid, but at least they have an excuse.

You know, and also I feel bad for the other wizard who's standing behind him the whole time. He's like, I'm not some burnt-out loser, Doug? Yeah. What a loser you are, yeah? You know a wizard? That bitch ain't a wizard. What do you mean he's not a wizard? If he was a wizard, his first spell would be a pay raise. I fucking make $11,000. 11,000. How are you a wizard on food stamps?

How you a wizard on food stamps? Broke-aise wizard. Just a broke-ass wizard. Maybe wizards don't need much money. Just a broke-ass wizard. You went to wizard school and now you got all them student loans. That's why Harry Potter had to make eight movies. All them student loans. He couldn't pay him. Ain't no money in the wizard world. Wizard game cold-blooded, bro. Is Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter? Is that the same universe? No Roy it's not. Well, what was I watching? I'm worried about it, man. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes.

It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like, none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17. We've talked a lot lately about the unprecedented labor issues sweeping across the country right now. With more job openings than ever and more people quitting than ever, workers suddenly find themselves with a lot of leverage.

And they're using it to demand things like better pay, more flexible hours, and canceling the annual company's squid game. And a lot of companies are giving into these demands, but not all of them. Which is why all around the country right now, you're seeing this happen. This week, 10,000 workers at Agriculture Equipment Manufacturer, Deer & Company, made their voices heard. It's the first strike for the United Auto Workers Union in 35 years, and just the latest in a string of labor actions across the country.

More than 24,000 employees at health care provider Kaiser P Permanente have voted to authorize a strike as more than a thousand workers at serial maker Kellogg began their own strike. With more disputes looming across other industries, some are calling this month strike tober. That's right, strike tobor. It's a great month to hit the picket lines because you're out on the street and it's an easy segue way into tr trick trick trick trick trick trick trick trick trick trick trick. trick to trick. to trick. to trick. to trick. to trick. to trick. to trick. to trick. to trick. to trick. to trick. to trick. to trick. to trick. to to great month to hit the picket lines because you're out on the street and it's an easy segue into trick or treating. Who got the power? We got the power! Ding-dong! Who got the twigs?

You got the twigs! And right now, workers from so many different industries are striking. Although, it's none of the bad industries that you wish never go on strike or telemarketers. Come on, you guys deserve better pay. Now, going on strike is not a step that workers take lightly. It's a major decision, you know, you risk your jobs, you lose out on pay, you have to protest in front of your workplace, but you can't go into pee, which means that when people do go on strike, they probably have pretty good reasons for doing it.

Take an iconic American brand, John Deere, they had profits of $4.7 billion in just the first three quarters of this pandemic year. Workers say they power that. They're demanding better pay, secure pensions, a fair share of a hugely profitable American company. The company wants to eliminate pensions all for new people and we refuse to sell people down the road like that. Sounds like it's about sticking together. Yes, it's about sticking together now and for the people who come after us. And about better pay?

Yes, absolutely. The company, their profits have just been through the roof. John Deer's profits grew by 61% in recent years, and their CEO's salary grew by 160% during the pandemic. We're the ones that make your stuff. We've earned it. Give it to us. End of discussion.

Oh, the man makes a solid point. I mean, the CEO got a 160% pay raise while screwing over his workers. That's a horrible idea, man. Especially when your getaway vehicle is a tractor. You'll never catch me, peasants! Ha ha ha ha! Kck, k, k, blu-bobbob! Brobbobobobobobob. You're still here. But once I get into, no, this only has one gear. Oh, oh, oh, oh, maybe we should talk. You know, honestly, some of these CEOs get so greedy that they become short-sighted,

because if they thought about it, they would realize they could probably get away with exploiting their workers for longer if they just exploited them a little less. But if you don't give them anything, well, then it's really easy to notice the disparity. Wait a minute, are you cutting my pension? Sorry, there's just not enough gold to go around. Oh ho! I choked on some gold. But workers have different reasons for going on strike. At John Deer, they're basically looking for the company to simply share a bigger piece of their giant profits and not cut their pensions. But over at Kellogg's, one of the big complaints of the workers is that in order for you to get your cereal in the morning, they have to work morning, noon, and night. For any time that someone would

feel sick or whatever, they want you to use your vacation days as opposed to having sick days. And again, in working excess of 120 days in a row. You know, best friend died. Sorry, not my problem, that's yours. We got cereal to make. We work seven days a week. We are literally scheduled seven days a week. So in order for me to get a day off, someone else is working 16 hours. Very often, we don't even know that we have to work 16 hours

until 10 minutes before it's time to go home. If you have dogs, if you have kids, you have to pick up from school, if you have other obligations, I hope you have somebody to call because you have to stay. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, when I heard how brutal these hours were, I was shocked. Like, what the hell, Kellogg's?

You shouldn't be working people to the bone for cereal. We can all all all all all all all all all th th th th th th th th tho to to tho to to to to to to to thuuil, to to thu, to thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, to to tho, to to thu.. tho, tho, to to to to to to to to be, to be, to be, to be, too-a, too-a, to be, to be, to be, to be, to, to, to, to, the the the the the tho-a, the the tho, the tho, tho, tho, the the the tho, tho, tho, tho, the tho, the tho... tho. too. toooo.. to. tell. tell. tell. to. tell. together, together, together, together, together, bone for cereal. We can all eat a pancake once in a while. It's fine, no one's gonna die. And it's not just inhumane to treat employees this way. It also goes against the Kellogg's brand image of like cheerful, colorful cartoon mascots. You know, if Kellogg's keeps this up, those games on the back of the box are gonna start getting a lot less cheerful. better watch out. So not wanting to be worked to death seems like a pretty reasonable demand, but so far these companies aren't giving in. And what's funny to me is how some of these companies are trying to get by without their

workers. Like for instance, John Deere, they reportedly redirected their office employees to work on the factory floors and one of those workers get this immediately crashed a tractor, which of course was going to happen. I. to to to happen. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I th, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I the, I the, I the, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I the, and I the, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, I, I th. And, I th. And, I th. And, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I'm the, I'm that, I'm that, I that, I'm that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, those workers get this immediately crashed a tractor which of course was going to happen. I mean office workers do not have the skill set to work in a factory. You hand them a wrench and they'll be like okay do I use this to check my emails? Oh and look what happened when one distillery hired a non-union truck driver who was very passionate about not supporting the truck driver's strike. A semi-truck overturned on Wednesday near the Heaven Hill distillery in Nelson County

where workers are currently on strike. Union official said the replacement driver made an obscene gesture towards strikers, causing him to lose control of the vehicle, which then flipped over. Oh, you see that? That's karma. And by the way, if you can't flip flip someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that? That's karma. And by the way, if you can't flip someone off while driving, you shouldn't be driving anything. And that's a fundamental driving skill, parallel parking, three-point turn, go f-fix yourself.

Those are the basics. You know, the worst part is that he flipped over right in front of the other people who are striking. How do you say face after that? Right, you flip you you you you you the th you're th you're their thuuuu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thus, thus, and thi. thi. thi. that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that, thrue, that, throwne. that, thi. thi. that's, that's, that's, that's, thi. thi. And,? You flip them off. Yeah, and then, wah! You probably just got to play it off like you're joining the strike. You know, the truck flips and it's just like, blah, blah, blah, yeah, I flipped the truck to support you guys. We're striking for medical benefits, right? Because I think I screwed up my back. So, where is all this headed? Well, I don't know. throwne. th th th th th th tho tho tho. tho tho. tho. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. Yeah, I that. Yeah, I tho. Yeah, I that. Yeah, I'm that. Yeah, I their their, their, their, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, blah. Yeah, blah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the th. th. I. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I the. I the. I the. the. the th. the the the th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the. I the the the the thru treating their employees like people and not just money-making machines. And if they don't do that, well then they should at least be honest in their TV commercials. Putting down the tires.

Frost and Flakes is the only cereal flavored with the tears of the people who made it. They're exploited. Seems right to me. Vaccine mandates. For the past few months, it's become the biggest fight in the country. I mean, aside from the Netflix CEO and everyone on Twitter, and mandates have been effective at convincing people to get the COVID vaccine. Which is why everyone from the federal government to airlines

to even Fox News is doing one. Yeah, that's a real thing. Fox News has a vaccine mandate, which is insane. It's like seeing one of those Amish farm stands that accepts Apple pay. Like, I'm happy, but I did not see that coming. And now, the former epicenter of the pandemic, New York City,

is saying that all of its government workers need to get vaxed. And they mean everybody. New this morning, New York City is now requiring all city employees to be vaccinated against COVID-19 no longer with any option for weekly testing instead. The new mandate covers more than 160,000 workers, including police officers and firefighters. We're asking our public servants and our first responders to do what they do best. Lead us forward, help us out of the COVID-era. If they choose not to, they go on unpaid leave.

So we're less than two weeks to that November 1st date. Right now, the NYPD says its vaccination rate is approximately 71%. Fire department says around 60% of their uniformed workforce have so far gotten the shot. It's a long way to go. That's right, anyone who works for New York City will have to be vaccinated soon. Everyone from police and firefighters

all the way to the guy who make sure that the taxis are clean. And as of now, nearly a third of all cops aren't vaccinated. And maybe, maybe they just don't know how to get vaccinated. I mean, I know it seems easy, but some cops don't even know how to turn on a body camera, so... But this is still a little concerning, because any police who don't get vaccinated can't go to work. And if there's a shortage of police, I mean, that could cause some big problems. I mean, protesters can't kick the shit out of themselves. Plus, who other Karen's gonna call when they feel scared? Hello, Geek Squad?

There's a black man in the park, and... What do you mean it's not your job? I would have speak to your manager! You get me the manager! Now, New York's police union has already announced that they'll be suing to stop this mandate from going into effect, which is no surprise, because in every city that's announced a mandate, there's been a fierce resistance from cops and firefighters. There has been a wave of resignations and firings

in fire and police departments across the country. Los Angeles Fire reports there have been at least 241 separations from the department. Baltimore's police department is down 279 officers. In Massachusetts, the state police union president is threatening that at least 150 state police will resign. Late yesterday, Seattle police officers and firefighters walked up city hall steps to turn in their boots. Yeah, that's right.

They're turning in their boots. I know what you're thinking right now because I'm thinking the same thing.. th. th. thi. thing. thing thing thing thing. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thi. the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the in their boots. Yeah, that's right, they're turning in their boots. I know what you're thinking right now because I'm thinking the same thing. Wait, don't cops turn in their gun and badge? Because turning in your boots makes it sound like the police departments have the same footwear policy as a bowling alley. McDuffie, we got a robbery! What are you? Size 10 and a half?, go get them, buddy. I've got to say, out of all the occupations, cops and firefighters are the last people who I'd expect to see this from. I mean, like, these are the same people who sign up to swarm hostage situations or run into burning buildings.

But when it comes putting their life on the line to help others. That's what part of it makes them so damn sexy. You know, and I just hope that this vaccine controversy doesn't ruin that image. Because trust me, nobody wants to buy a whiny firefighter calendar. You know, actually I'd still buy that one. It's still pretty sexy, I'm not going to lie. But hey, at least those officers had the courage of their convictions. They didn't want to follow the rules, so they quit the job. I can respect that. What's a lot more concerning is how some other officers have decided that they'd rather keep their jobs and not follow the rules. In Los Angeles, the county sheriff said he's simply not going to enforce a vaccine deadline that was supposed to take effect today. I don't want to be in a position to lose 5, 10% of my workforce overnight.

In Chicago, responding to that city's October vaccine mandate, the head of the police union said his members won't comply. This has literally lit a bomb underneath the membership, he said. We're in America, g-dammit. We don't want to be forced to do anything, period. This ain't Nazi-Fen Germany. Whoa, Nazi Germany. That dude escalated things way too quick. I mean, although he is a Chicago police officer, so it makes sense.

But come on, people, gee, damn it. And by the way, I don't realize that the LA Sheriff could just decide not to comply with the vaccine mandate. That's crazy. Like, is that something we're allowed to do? Because I mean, the next time I'm pulled over, I'm just going to say, sorry officer, I have decided not to comply with the speed limits. What's that? I'm getting shot? Here's what I find the most strange about thridden. tha tha tha thiii. thi. the story. the story. the story. the story. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. their their their their thi. thi. their thi. their their thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. te. tean. tean. tean. tean. tean. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. te. te. te. toe been telling us that nothing is more important than protecting the lives of cops on the street, right? It's why cities have been increasing their budget to buy military-grade armor. And it's also why they can't take 30 seconds to determine if someone really is a threat before shooting them. But it turns out that there is literally nothing

more dangerous to police officers right now than COVID-19. COVID right now, as we speak, is the leading cause of death for law enforcement. In fact, since the start of the pandemic, it has killed more than five times the number of police that were killed by guns. So it turns out that if you do believe that Blue Lives Matter, one of the best ways to show your support is by getting the vaccine. When 60 minutes premiered, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, one of the best ways to show your support is by getting the vaccine. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television.

Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17. Do you guys remember Donald Trump? Yeah? You guys remember him? No? No, maybe not?

It was a reality TV guy? Used to be president, tried to overthrow the government, still kind of is. Well, if you haven't thought about him for a while, it's probably because back in January, he got kicked off of Twitter and Facebook, which was his main way of spreading his gospel. And now because of that, he's been forced to post only only only only only only only only only only only post post to post to post post to post post to post to post to post to post post to post to post to post to post to post to post to post to post to post to post to post to post to post to post to post to post to post to post to post to to to to to to to to to to to to to forced to post only on only fans. And he's actually doing great. Yeah, he's got the biggest boobs on the whole website. But still, he wants a bigger platform, which is why last night he announced that he is starting his very own social media network called Truth Social, saying, quote,

I am excited to send out my first truth on Truth Social very soon. And yes, in case you didn't get it, they're calling their posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts posts to posts to posts to posts to posts to posts truth social very soon. And yes in case you didn't get it they're calling their posts truths which is so lame I don't care what anyone says because I mean it makes the whole thing sound like remember like those guys who came to your school assemblies. Yo let me post a truth at you drugs a whack except for Ivermectin, yo! Also, you know what this means, right? If Trump is posting truths, knowing him eventually, he's going to start posting dares.

Okay, I shared my truth. Now I dare you to hang my pants. And the big reason Trump and his people want their own social media app is that they are sick and tired of censorship from big tech. And truth social is promising to be a free speech paradise, a place where anyone can say anything with some exceptions. Former President Trump's new free speech social network will not be allowing criticism of itself. The home page of truth social says the network will be a platform for open, free, and honest global conversation.

The Terms of Service Page, however, says users will not be allowed to disparage, tarnish or otherwise harm the social media site. The Truth Social is expected to go live sometime next year. This man is a legend. He creates a free speech website and immediately was like, okay, here's what you can't say. It's like if the first rule of fight club was, hey, hey, no fighting, no fighting, no fighting. No fighting. We work shit out here. And I'll be honest, like I'm actually on Trump's side here. It's his website. He doesn't want people coming on there to roast it. Just like he wouldn't want people walking into his home like,

Who decorated this place? It looks like King Midas molested your apartment. At the same time, though, you know this is going to backfire. Because half of the fun of being on social media is talking shit about the platform. I mean, if you deleted all the tweets that talked shit about Twitter, on Twitter, the only thing left would be that Denzel gift. I'm like, really, find another way to express yourself, people. And how is Trump, how is Trump of all people going to make a rule about disparaging comments?

I mean, this man roasts people so much, he has to do it at auctioneer speed. We got a fat guy in the thronthraintho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, and tho, and toyan, and toyan, and toy, and toy, and tha, and tha, tha, and tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thea, thea, thea, and theat, found, found, found, theat, found, theed, theed, theed, theed, theed, theed, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha. And, tha-a, thau. And, thea, thea, thea'er's's, thea'er's, thea'er's, thea'er's, thea'er's, thea'er's, thea'er's, thea a fat guy on the throne road, total slough, total slough gets over here to the ugly chick, low energy, major figure, sold to the low-life horse face bozo who's weak and gina. But still, Trump has started his own social media site, which is crazy right Roy? Because it's just, all right, he's not here. All right, let's move on. Because when Trump the election, he was so humiliated that ever since, he's been spreading completely made-up claims of voter fraud. And in response to this imaginary voter fraud, Republican-led states around the country have been making it harder to vote. Passing laws that limit voting hours, restricting access to mail-in ballots, and offering an express voting line for anybody with a valid photo of them, that that that that th th th th th th th th th th thom thom thom thom thom thom thom thom. thom. thom. thom. thom. thi, thi-so. thi-so access to mail-in ballots, and offering an express voting line

for anybody with a valid photo of themselves storming the capital. Which is why Democrats and Congress have put together a bill designed to protect voting rights. But last night, the bill failed in the Senate with every Democrat voting for it and every Republican voting against it. Which, yeah, of course. I mean, of course Republicans weren't going to support a bill that's going to make it harder for them to win. No one wants to make it harder on themselves to win. If I have a choice of playing

pick-up against Kevin Hart or Shaq, yo, I'm going to choose to play against Shaq. Have you seen all those icy hot commercials? That man's body's falling apart. I've got a good shot. But once again, the only reason Republicans were able to block this bill is because of the filibuster. And many Democrats have said that now they've had enough. Some Democrats say it's time to scrap the filibuster rule. More Democrats now agreeing to carve out a voting rights exception to the filibuster rule, something they have been reluctant to change. That appears highly unlikely to happen because two key Democratic holdouts, Senator

Kiersen Cinema, Senator Joe Manchin, they're on board with the Freedom to Vote Act, but they also support preserving the 60-vote threshold and there's no daylight or really no movement, I should say, on their part in terms of changing the filibuster rule to allow this to move forward. Yeah so basically most Democrats think it's fine to alter the filibuster at least in this one case because protecting voting rights is an emergency. You know it's the same way that when you need to get to a hospital it's okay to drive over the speed limits. But Manchin and cinema well they're basically saying, yeah, you might do it now, but where does it end? I mean, first you'll say you only speed to get to the hospital, but then it's to make a doctor's appointment on time.

And then it's to get to the grocery store. And then if you're late to a movie, you're not late for the movie, and then if you're not late for the movie, the movie, but you're the movie, but you're really really really really really really really really really to see to see the the the the the trailer, but you're really really really really really really really really to see the to see the to see the the to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see the to see. to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tra., but., but tr., but the the tr., but the the the the tra., buta., but the the the the tra., buta, as someone who's not from this country. People around the world don't envy America because of its commitment to the filibuster. People envy America because of its long-standing commitment to stuffing things with cheese. Those are the principles Congress should be living up to. If you ask me, there's a compromise here. They should just treat exceptions to the filibuster like its wishes from a genie. You only get three. The trick is to use your third filibuster exception to ask for more exceptions. What's that? Did you say something, empty table?

Yeah, you're right. The Democrats really can't get their act together, man. You stare at at table. Oh man. All right, and finally, here's a story guaranteed to leave you yawning and half asleep, but like in a super interesting way. A new bus tour is designed to be boring, and put people to sleep. The five-hour ride on a double-decker bus takes people around Hong Kong. It's meant to appeal to people who are easily-lared-lared-lared-lared-lared-lared-lared-lared-lared-a-a-a-a-lared-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. Oh-a-s. Oh-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s.a-s.a-s.a-s.a-s.a-s.a-s. to-s. to-s.a-sa-sa-s.euuuuuua-s.a-s.eua-s.a-s.a-sa-sa-sa-sa-s.a-a-a-hour ride on a double-decker bus takes people around Hong Kong. It's meant to appeal to people who are easily lulled asleep by long rides. And it was inspired by the tendency of tired commuters to fall asleep on public transit. Tickets cost between 13 and $51 depending on whether they choose seats on the upper or lower deck.

A goody bag for passengers includes an eye mask and earplugs. Some even come prepared with their own pillows and blankets. That's right, a bus you just sleep on, which I actually think on the whole is a great idea. Because remember how nice it was when you were a little kid, when you could just drift off and fall asleep in the car. But now as an adult you can't do that because you'll hit a pedestrian or whatever. And look, yes, $51 seems pricey, but I do think it's actually a bargain. I mean, one ticket and you get access to dozens of unguarded wallets. Those losers are sleeping, you just go and then grab the shit.

You don't do that with sleeping people? I will say though, there are a couple of problems with this. okay? First of all, I don't know if I trust this company because this is exactly how you get to squid game. Secondly, let's be honest, this is wasteful. I mean, sleeping was the one human activity left that didn't leave a carbon footprint and now even that's ruined! Now if getting knocked out on a bus, thiii! th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr-s, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thr-s, thr-s, thriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. th Kong. The good news is you can't experience this right here. Yeah. What you do is you get on a Greyhound bus and you wait for someone to open the bathroom door and you won't wake up for two days. Hey Table, you know what I said? I said if you want to get knocked out, you open the bathroom door on the gray. What, what's that? I should set the studio on fire? Yeah, dude, it will be so

funny. It will be great. Oh, because it wouldn't burn. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ah! Ah! Ah! I'm Dable! Oh, I'm Dable! Before we go, please consider supporting the violent intervention program in New York City.

They work within Latino communities to end domestic and sexual violence by providing emergency shelter, counseling and advocacy for long-term economic stability and healing for survivors and their children, something that has been more important than ever throughout the pandemic. If you want to support their work, please donate at the link below. Watch the Daily Show, Weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change.

Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.