The Daily Show: Ears Edition - This Week's Top Stories - Dogecoin Funds Moon Launch, Trump Family's Secret Service Scandals & More

Episode Date: May 15, 2021

Scientists train bees to detect COVID-19, SpaceX accepts Dogecoin to finance its moon mission, and Trump family members allegedly had inappropriate relationships with Secret Service agents. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. The coronavirus pandemic is the thing that is both almost over and somehow worse than ever.

Even as vaccines are making everybody safe, it is clear that COVID-19 is a lot like benefa, in that it is never really going to be over, which is why a new breakthrough in testing for COVID-is getting a lot of buzz. Dutch researchers are training bees to detect COVID-19 infections in samples. And they say that it could cut the waiting time for test results from hours or days to down to just seconds. Bees have an unusually keen sense of smell, and the bees indicate a positive test result by extending their tongungs to get a reward in the form of sugar water. Takes about a month to train these bees.

Researchers say that it could be used in parts of the world where there is currently no COVID-testing available. Ah, you see people? You see what happens when we don't get vaccinated? I told you guys. What did I say? I said, if we don't get global vaccinations up and running, we're all going to end up getting licked by bees. Remember when I said that?

And now look what happened, huh? I also love how they say this is gonna be used in countries where regular testing isn't available. Poor countries always get screwed, man. In America, what do they do? They swab you with a cutep, huh? That's the test. But now in Africa, they're gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna, My brother, you think you have COVID, huh?

What you need to do is put your head inside this beehive and cough. Cuff again. No, no, you must cough harder. No, they don't worry about their stinging. They are going to test you. Cof again. Why are we even making their plate, they pollinate our crops, they make our honey, they teach our kids how to have sex with birds, give them a break.

I just hope that this gets people over their vaccine hesitancy. Because now, if you don't want to get the vaccine, fine. But that means you've got to get a bee test if you want to go to the club. Hey, what's up? fun tonight. Yeah, because, ah, ah, this beast! Oh my God, this beast! Oh my God! So yeah, you're gonna be in there? I'll see you in there, girl. But let's move on now to some news from the world of sports. The Kentucky Derby, it's a Super Bowl for Athletes who Poop standing up. Well, it turns out that this year's winner may have been downing something a little stronger than a mint julep.

Now to a scandal that's erupted in the world of horse racing. Medina Spirit, this year's winner of the Kentucky Derby failed a post-race drug test. The Colts Hall of Fame trainer, seven-time derby- Bob Baffert now suspended indefinitely by Churchill Downs. The substance and anti-inflammatory was also found in the system of Gameen, another Bafford trained horse that finished third in last year's Kentucky Oaks race.

Former President Trump is weighing in, saying so now even our Kentucky Derby winner, Medina Spirit is a junkie. This is emblematic of what is happening to our country. The whole world is laughing at us. Yo, guys, I still can't believe this guy was president. I mean, this man is a legend. What other ex-president spends their time roasting horses? It is weird, though, to put this on the horse, right? I mean, it's not like the horse wants to take drugs or to train tak a tak.......... thaa. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. to to thi. to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. to to to to to put this on the horse, right? I mean, it's not like the horse wants to take drugs or train all day or race around a track

getting slapped on the ass. It's a horse. It wants to do what horses want to do. DJ. They love DJing. At the same time, though, if it was up to the horse, I mean, the horse would would definitely the with the biggest difference between winning and losing. If you win, you spend the rest of your life banging other horses. If you lose, you're going to be holding macaroni art together. And finally, a threat to America's infrastructure that's scarier than Woody Harrelson in the new Venom trailer.

If the line at the filling station is a little longer than usual this week, it might just be because somebody has hacked the gasoline. We're going to begin with this so the race against time after a cyber attack on a major source of fuel for the East Coast. Colonial Pipeline halted operations on thousands of miles of pipeline on Friday after hackers forced a shutdown by taking the company's data hostage. Colonial runs pipelines from Houston, Texas to Linden, New Jersey, transporting more than a hundred million gallons of gasoline, diesel, jet fuel, and home heating oil every day. A criminal gang with links to Moscow is a leading suspect. There is a ransomware crew known as Darkside. They use kind of a double-tap technique of both locking up the networks and demanding, demanding ransom.

Overnight, Gasoline Futures jumped more than 3% to 222 a gallon, the highest since May of 2018. Another concern is panic buying. Analysts worry that nervous consumers could drain gas supplies, which would also push prices higher. OK, all right, this is outrageous. If you want to take data hostage, you do it the legitimate way by getting people to sign up for your social media network.

Now, maybe I'm not that tech savvy, but is there a reason a pipeline has to be on the internet in the first place? Like, who was out there like... All right guys, I think it's fine to transport billions of gallons of oil through this pipe, but what if we could also use it to watch Tick-Tock? And look, hacks happen all the time, but this attack is a big deal. And it could even cause a shortage of gas in America, which by the way, Daddy Yankee try to warn us about, but what were we doing?

Too busy grinding to listen. So yes, people are now going to be going out trying to buy gasoline before the price goes up again, and it's going to be chaos. I mean, not for me, though. I already have all the gasoline I need. You see, the trick, and nobody realizes this is you want to do that is you soak up the gasoline with a bunch of oily rags. See? Yeah, and that way I can stack it up in my apartment and I only squeeze out what I need.

That's how you stay safe. The Golden Globes, a great honor for actors and a huge insult to flat-earthers. You might remember that the award ceremony has been under fire for its lack of diversity and alleged corruption. And with the Hollywood Foreign Press Association dragging its feet about making changes, people have started ramping up the pressure. The Golden Globes off for now. NBC announced it will not air the award show next year.

Another major blow to the award show next year. Another major blow to the Globes following months of criticism from movie stars and Hollywood Insiders directed at the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. After an LA Times report that revealed, among other things, none of the group's 87 voting members are black. Netflix and Amazon Studios have both threatened to cut ties with the association. The winner is Tom Cruise. Now, three-time Golden Globe winner, Tom Cruise is joining the growing boycott,

returning his statues to the organization. He has three golden globes, and he said, nah, you can have these back. That, that's a signal to other prominent white people and power in this industry to step up and fight the fight with us. Oh boy, you know you screwed up if Tom Cruise is distancing himself from you. And personally, personally, it doesn't bother me if the Golden Globes go away. I mean, because the purpose of film isn't about pleasing snobby critics with golden statues. No. It's about figuring out how to the thi to the fight that's thattha, to to to to that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that's that, that's that's that, that's that's the the that's that, that's the that, that, that's that, that, thate thate, that's that, that's I mean, because the purpose of film isn't about pleasing snobby critics with golden statues. No. It's about figuring out how to set at least one scene of your movie in China to increase box office revenues. But this doesn't change how

crazy it is that the Hollywood foreign press doesn't have any black members. I mean, think about this. You're a group representing the entire world and you can't find a single black person? Africa has like hundreds of them. I mean, one of them will come over and watch a movie. Moving on to cryptocurrency, the preferred money of the worst dude in your group chat. If you've been on the internet at all this last year, you know that the dream of crypto traders is to send their coins value soaring to the moon. And now, some people are taking that literally.

A cryptocurrency based on the meme of a Jubby Shiva Inu Dog is paying for a trip to the moon. SpaceX is accepting a popular cryptocurrency as payment for an upcoming moon mission. The geometric energy corporation said it paid SpaceX in Dogecoin to secure a spot for an 88-pound satellite on a mission called Doge One. It's slated to take off in early 2022 and will obtain lunar spatial intelligence from sensors and cameras. Dogecoin is a digital currency founded by two software engineers in 2013 as a joke.

It's now one of the most popular cryptocurrency currencies on the market. Yep, that's right. You can now use the cryptocurrency dogecoin to pay for a space-X trip to the moon. Which means it's time for another episode of our ongoing series. News I barely understand. Honestly, people, I can't tell if this story means that crypto is real or space travel is fake. I mean, either way, this is the first space mission where I'm worried that both the rocket

and the currency might crash. And even if it is successful, I don't know if I'm the only one, but I'm worried about using crypto for space missions. Like I don't want humanity's first interaction with aliens to be an astronaut explaining how the blockchain works. So it's a peer-to-peer digital currency with an online ledger which records ownership through a series of...

Stop it. Please stop it. We came in peace, but now you need to shut the fuck up. You know, what's crazy about Dogecoin is that it's so valuable, but almost nobody accepts it as actual money. I mean, it must be really weird to be a doge coin billionaire. Hey, what's up, baby girl? I'm so rich. I'll take you all around the world. Hell, I'll even take you to space. Ooh, sounds like fun!

But first I'm so hungry. Can we get a sandwich? Uh, yeah. In that case, I'm going to need you to spot me. Yeah. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News.

Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. Congresswoman Liz Cheney, who has spent the past few months saying things that make Trump really angry, like that the election wasn't stolen, that trying to overthrow the government is bad, and that Twitter is still fun without him. Now, what made this especially balsy is that Cheney was saying all of this while holding the number three position in the party's congressional leadership, which was making everyone in the GOP pretty uncomfortable. I mean, here they are trying to move past the attempted coup and focus on looking forward to the next attempted coup.

But Cheney just wouldn't let it go. So today, they decided to overthrow her. More breaking news from the Hill. Last hour, Liz Cheney was voted out as House Republican conference chair. She was number three in leadership. That position is no longer hers. House Republicans are expected to replace Cheney with New York Congresswoman, Elise Stefani has emerged as one of former

President Trump's top defenders. Cheney spoke to cameras briefly afterwards. We cannot both embrace the big lie and embrace the Constitution. I will do everything I can to ensure that the former president never again gets anywhere near the Oval Office. Okay. Wow, I respect Liz Cheney, taking a stand against Trump, but it does feel a little less threatening when she's doing it as she's being removed from power, you know?

It's got the vibe of a villain falling into a volcano while saying, this isn't over. My man, it's over. No, it's over. So, forced to choose between a party leader who told the truth about the election, and a party leader who claims that the election shouldn't count because too many people voted, the GOP chose the lie. And if you want an idea of where the GOP is headed, well, there may be no better clue than the person who's expected to replace Cheney in party leadership. New York Congresswoman Elise Stefani, who just happens to be the subject in our latest

installment of fringe watching. Given the state of the Republican Party right now, you might think that the person they're replacing Liz Cheney with would be a 180-proof trumpest from the heart of mega-country. But actually, for most of her, the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their their. their. to to be. to be. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. their their tre.e.e.e.e.e.e. tre. tre. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to person they're replacing Liz Cheney with would be a 180-proof trumpest from the heart of mega country. But actually, for most of her political career, Elise Stefaniq was the exact opposites. Elise Stefonic was not always considered a Trump Republican. Staphonic was seen as a moderate when in 2014, she won a house race in upstate New York at age 30.

She was the youngest woman ever elected to Congress when she first won this office. And at that time, she was a pretty classic East Coast moderate conservative. In 2015, 2016 and the early days of the Trump administration, Stefani repeatedly and publicly opposed Trump. Opposing him on NAFTA and trade, even voting against his signature 2017 tax cuts. She also criticized Trump's initiative to build a wall, saying, quote, I don't think that's realistic. In 2015, Stefani also disagreed with Trump's calls for a Muslim ban. Saying, this is not who we are as a country. And Stefonic wrote this, after the release

of the Access Hollywood tape. Donald Trump's inappropriate offensive comments are just wrong. I've disagreed with the president's rhetoric numerous times when it comes to how he addresses women. So at least Stefani didn't like Trump's tax cuts, didn't like his trade deals, didn't like his Muslim ban, didn't like his sexism, didn't even like his wall. She basically didn't like anything about Trump, which is insane. I mean, you expect that from Trump's wife, but not a Republican congresswoman.

So for a while, Stefani was pretty much what used to be called a normal Republican. And then in late 2019, she saw an opportunity to make like Vili Iish and give herself an eye-catching new image. Elise Stefani became the breakout star of the House hearings for Trump's first impeachment, often tangling with Democrats. To have our Democratic colleagues say these untruthful statements just reeks of political desperation in their continued obsession to manipulate mainstream media coverage. Trump was so impressed at the time, he tweeted, a new Republican star is born.

After Trump lost and started pushing the big lie, Elise Stefani signed on, fighting to overturn the 2020 electoral results in both Pennsylvania and Texas. As this newly minted version of Stephanic moved ever closer to Trump's orbit, her fundraising exploded and so did her profile. Staphonic became a regular on Fox News, and her cheerleading for Team Trump moved into HyperDrive.

Staphonic was clearly on Trump's radar, even if he couldn't pronounce her name. Elise Stephanak. Look, you can't take offense to that. Trump pronounces words like a great jazz musician. You'll never hear it the same way twice. Twice. Now to outsiders, this might have seemed like Stefaniq suddenly embracing the dark side, you know, like Anakin turning into Darth Vader, except for the part about wearing a mosque.

But the truth is, she probably just made a straightforward calculation. She saw where the party was going, and she decided to go along to go to go to go to go to go to go to to the to the the to to the the the to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their.. their their their their th. Wea. You their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. th. th. the same. th. th. the same. the same. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. I. I. Wea. I. I. I. I. I'm te. I'm tea. I'm tea. I'm tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. te where the party was going, and she decided to go along with it. It's just a little awkward to start rooting for someone after they've been publicly disgraced. I never really liked Arkelli's music, but now that I've heard the charges against him, it's kind of dope. It's the remissed, Mr. Prash, at the kitchen. I mean, like, are you guys hearing this? And once Stefani hopped on the Trump train, she never looked back.

In fact, these days, it can sometimes be hard to tell her and Trump apart. Democrats are obsessed with impeachment. They have been obsessed with impeachment. The phony Russia hoaxe The phony Russia hoax of Russia collusion. We need election integrity and election reform immediately. We want to be able to fix and strengthen our election security and election integrity. Sleepy Joe rejects the scientific approach in favor of locking all Americans in their basements for months on end.

Joe Biden wants to keep them locked up in the basement. Damn, this goes way beyond just agreeing with Trump. It actually sounds like she's preparing to play Trump in a movie. I must become Trump. This is my process. So, in the end, Elise Stephanic surrendered her principles, her dignity, and even her voice to Donald Trump.

And what did that get her? Enormous amounts of cash, the support of a passionate base of voters, the inside track to a powerful position in party leadership? Yes, yes, it gave her all those things. But was it worth it? Because it seems like it was kind of worth it. I mean, god damn.

The US Secret Service. They're the reason America's president is so comfortable talking all that shit. During the years when Donald Trump was president, we heard a lot about how he and his people caused chaos at almost every government institution. The State Department, the Post Office, hell, he even asked the Department of Agriculture to grow potatoes with all the fixins already inside. But we didn't hear many stories about the secret service under Trump. Well that is until now. Some stunning revelations in a new book and it

says Trump family members became quote inappropriately close with some secret service agents. Inappropriately close with Vanessa Trump, Donald Trump Jr.'s ex-wife means that there was a relationship that was formed that the two did date. But certainly, this relationship, if it did exist, is inappropriate and also against Secret Service rules. Secret Service protectors are not supposed to get personal with their protectees, as it may compromise their situation guarding them. Now, another nugget in here involves Tiffany Trump.

It was said in this book that Tiffany Trump developed a close relationship with a, quote, tall, dark, and handsome Secret Service agent on her detail after breaking up with one of her boyfriends. This is another thing that came out in this post in the Guardian story is a little teaser from Carol's book that says that Trump did not like the appearance of some of his agents. He said, quote, I want these fat guys off my detail. How are they going to protect me and my family if they can't run down the street?

Wait, hold up. Do Trump's Secret Service agents really need to be that fit? I mean, if we're honest, they only need to run fast enough to keep up with him. Not to mention, if I was the size of Trump, I would want all my Secret Service agents to be huge, just to make myself look thin in comparison. You have one mission to protect me. Your petite president, so pretty, so tiny. And, uh, as for the Trump women, I mean, come on.

Are we surprised? Of course, they fell for their bodyguards. Anyone would. These people are physically fit and willing to die for you? Poof. You find someone like that on Tinder. In fact, getting into a relationship with your bodyguard is actually a good idea, in my opinion. Yeah, because then they'll want to protect you even more.

I mean, yes, the downside is that when the relationship gets stale and the danger comes, then all of a sudden they'll be like, am I really going to risk my life for a person who leaves hair in the shower drain? Elon Musk, the founder of Tesla and man who's definitely shouted the phrase, '' thrase, thiiii, ''Ea, ''Ea, ''Ea, ''Ea, ''Ea, ''Ea, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. ttthe the tthe the the thea. the, eliminate him. He's best known for embracing the most futuristic technology. But now he's moved from crashing self-driving cars to crashing Bitcoin. One of Bitcoin's most famous promoters has just turned on the cryptocurrency. Elon Musk, tweeting earlier this hour, you cannot buy Tesla with Bitcoin anymore, due to the rapidly increasing you cannot buy Tesla with Bitcoin anymore, due to the rapidly increasing use of fossil fuels for Bitcoin mining and transactions.

Cryptocurrency has long had a huge carbon footprint. Bitcoin plunging on the news here, falling 10%. That's right, people, from now on, people will no longer be able to say, I bought my Tesla with Bitcoin. So now, they'll have to find a new way to be unlikable at parties. thi to thi to th th fossil to th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for to to to to to to be for to thi for to be for to be for to be for to to to to to to to to to thi for thi thi thi thi thi th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for thi thiiii thi thii theiii theiii thei their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. theeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. to b longer be able to say, I bought my Tesla with Bitcoin. So now, I'll have to find a new way to be unlikable at parties. But it is shocking to hear this coming from Elon Musk, because he has been the guy promoting Bitcoin.

And now he says the reason he's doing this is because of environmental concerns, but part of me thinks the truth is he probably just lost his Bitcoin password. I mean maybe he wrote it down on a post-it note somewhere and lost it or on his kid's birth certificates. But this really goes to show you that Bitcoin has a long way to go as a currency because most established currencies don't go up and down based on a random social media post, right? Like you wouldn't see the effects in real life. Like, can you imagine trying to pay a dollar for a candy bar?

But then the cashier is like, whoa, buddy, that stuff's worthless now. Didn't you see Chloe Kardashian's latest selfie? Yeah, ho buddy. Let's move on now to the coronavirus vaccine. It's the reason you now have specific opinions about pharmaceutical companies. Authorities all over the world have been trying out different ways of enticing people to get vaccinated. Today in New York City, ShakeShack announced that it will give free French fries to anyone

who shows their vaccination card. And because you're vaccinated, it's safe to suck the ketchup straight out of the dispenser again, which is really cool. Wait, you're not supposed to do that? And free fries to th fr fr fr fr fr fr fr to to to to to to to to to to thia thia thririri- th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to th. to to tho-o-o-o-o-o-o-a tho thi. tho-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. tho-a. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's the. It's thccc-s. A thco. A to-s. A to-s. A to-s. A to-s. to-s. thea. A thea. Wait, you're not supposed to do that. And free fries are nice. But Ohio has come up with a gimmick that blows everything else away. Ohio is offering his residents a shot at winning a million dollars along with their COVID vaccine shots. Governor Mike DeWine announced that beginning May 26th,

the state will draw one vaccine recipient to win $1 million. This will happen every week for five th. th. th. to to to to to thi thi to thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, the, the, the, the, thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoe, but th. But th. But th. But th. But th. But th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thri. thri. thriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiioliolioliolioliole, the, the, the, the state will draw one vaccine recipient to win $1 million. This will happen every week for five weeks. Well, Governor, you're probably getting an A for creativity, but you're getting an F-4. Huh? Is this the right thing to do? And you're getting bipartisan criticism on both sides. I know that there'll be some people to say, well, that's a waste. No one has tried this, and we just thought that it was worth to try this to do it. Now this idea is awesome.

I support it 100 percent. And I know some people will say, but isn't helping to save humanity enough of an incentive to get vaccinated, to which I say, hell no. Have you seen humanity? It's full of jerks. Who will only get vaccinated if there's money in it for them? I mean, forget vaccines. I think the government should use this for every public health measure.

If public bathrooms pumped out a lottery ticket whenever you washed your hands, you'd be able to eat off the doorks. As opposed to now, when we have to open bathroom doors with our elbows like we never evolved hands. But hopefully this does convince some anti-vaxes to get the shot. You know, the only awkward part is that if they actually win, then they're going to have to explain to their anti-vax friends how they got rich. No, guys, dude. I'm in like human trafficking.

Dale, I swear, dude. So look, I support, I support, I support, I support, I support, I support, I support, I support, I support, I support, I support, I support, I support, I support, I support, I support, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I tho. I tho, I thoomoomoomoome. th. thia. thoomoomoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. to. toe. toea. toea. toea. toeauuuuoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. thfficking. Dale, I swear, dude. So look, I support doing whatever it takes to get people vaccinated. But you've got to admit, this is the epitome of a first world problem. How can we convince people to take all the extra vaccines that we have lying around? Hmm, what if we give them all the extra money we have lying around? Meanwhile, Africa is over here like, ah, yes, well done guys. You cracked it, eh?

You cracked it. And by the way, the best part about this lottery is that you don't have to worry about holding onto a ticket. Yeah, you see, if you win, they'll just find you using the microchip in your bloodstream. And finally, Instagram, Twitter for hot people. These days, there's so much content on Instagram, it's harder than ever to get noticed. It's not enough to just copy a dance from a black kid anymore. White girls are scouring whole new ethnic groups to steal from. It is out of control. And now, one would-be influencer is in trouble

for a viral stunt that she couldn't quite pull off. And the Miami Herald reports, a 28-year-old woman allegedly posed as a high school student to promote her Instagram page. Police say Audrey, Francis Queenie tried to blend in with students at the Miami Area School Monday. They say she had a backpack and she carried a skateboard as she walked through the hallways handing up pamphlets printed with her Instagram account while recording herself. Security officers tried to catch her, but she got away. They later tracked her down through her Instagram page and arrested her. She faces charges including burglary and resisting arrest.

No people, no, no. A woman posed as a teenager on Instagram. And she and she and she and she. And she. And she. And she th. And she th. And she th. thiii, she thi, she thi, she thi, she thi, she thi, she thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, thoed the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thoed thoed thoes thoes the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. I th. I the, th. I th. I the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th No, no, no, no. A woman posed as a teenager on Instagram and she thought she could get away with it by carrying a backpack and a skateboard? Yo, that's like the official uniform of old people trying to pretend that they're teenagers. Like, when Knox get kicked off the force, they have to hand over their gun, their badge, and their skateboard. It's a thing. I mean, this must have been so embarrassing for this woman. And also for

Matt Gates when he found out he was hitting on a 28-year-old. That's not his swag. And the saddest thing is, after all the work she did and all of that your worth as a human being is not defined by how many followers you have or how popular you are on the internet. What really matters is that you're a good person who is kind to other people and lives with integrity. Man, I gotta post that. That's gonna get so many likes. That's dope. Before we go, May is Mental Health so many likes. That's dope. Before we go, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. So please consider supporting an organization called Therapy-Aid Coalition.

They're a non-profit, committed to providing free and low-cost online therapy to essential workers and to victims of national disasters. So if you're able to, please go to the link below and donate whatever you can. Watch the Daily Show, Weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it.

This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling? But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 minutes a second look on Apple Podcasts starting September 17. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.