The Daily Show: Ears Edition - This Week's Top Stories - Georgia Vote Suppression, Matt Gaetz Sex Scandal & Toxic Water in Florida

Episode Date: April 10, 2021

Major companies protest Georgia's restrictive new voting law, Congressman Matt Gaetz is embroiled in a sexual misconduct scandal, and Florida faces a potential flood of highly toxic water. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. After losing in November, Georgia Republicans decided to basically make voting more like

all of the worst parts of flying. Okay, so there's going to be really long lines. No one can have water. And if you're late, you can go fuck yourself. In fact, you know what? No shoes. Everybody take off your shoes. So obviously a lot of people were upset about this law.

Democrats were angry. The president was angry. So for help, they turned to the only people whose opinions might actually count for something, giant corporations. More fallout now over the new voting law in Georgia. Major League Baseball pulled the all-star game out of Atlanta and over the weekend the Braves covered up the all-star patch on their uniform. The MLB's decision comes after civil rights groups put pressure on organizations and corporations to pull business out of Georgia.

Two major Georgia-based companies, Coca-Cola and Delta Airlines are now taking the same stance. Arguing the Republican law was based on a lie and will restrict voting rights. Delta CEO Ed Bastion spoke to CBS this morning. The right to vote is sacrosanct and we can't do anything to send a message to people that we're going to make it more restrictive and harder to have their voice heard. That's right. Corporate America has come out in force against George's new laws. Delta and Coke spoke out. The MLB moved its all-star game and FX decided to film the next season of Atlanta in Alaska. Who

paperboy is not going to be happy. And look, it's great to see corporations use their influence in support of voting rights, but just to be clear, they don't do this out of the goodness of their hearts, right? They did it because liberals were threatening to boycott to boy to boy to boy to boy to boy to boy to b their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. t. te. te. te. te. te.e.e.e.e. t. do this out of the goodness of their hearts, right? They did it because liberals were threatening to boycott them if they didn't speak out. And it's actually amazing what you can get companies to do when you threaten a boycott. I mean, just the threat of a boycott got Coca-Cola to back a voting rights group. Think about that. That means with just a little more the-c, Coke to put cocaine back in their drinks. It's tennis people! But I guess I'm not surprised that they gave in, because a lot of these

companies aren't exactly in a great position to negotiate. Well, you can't boycott Delta Airlines because what are you going to do? Fly a different airline? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Uh, yeah. Yeah, well, when you put it that way, I guess we'll put out a statement. Now, here's the problem for these corporations. Anytime they try to make one side of an issue happy, people on the opposite side are going to get pissed off, which is exactly what happened next. Georgia-based companies are facing backlash from Republicans after expressing their dissatisfaction with that state's new voting law.

Now, Delta Airlines and Coca-Cola have found themselves in a heated fight with Governor Brian Kemp. After Delta's CEO, Ed Bastion, condemned the restrictive voting rights bill, Republicans in the state legislature are looking at increasing taxes on the company in retribution. The group of Georgia House Republicans is canceling Coca-Cola. They're the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepep-p- their dis their dis their diss their dis their dissatement thi-s their dissatement their dissat. their dissatu, their dissatu, their dissat. their dissat. They's dissat. They's dissatement dissatement dis dis dis dis dis dis dis dis dis dis dis their dissate dis their dissatements their diss. They's diss. They's diss. They's dis th. They's dis th. They's dis thi dis thi thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi- the company in retribution. The group of Georgia House Republicans is canceling Coca-Cola. They're saying Pepsi is okay. After the company's CEO spoke out against the state's new restrictive voting law, asking for all Coke products to be removed from their offices. GOP chairwoman Rana McDaniel tweeted, quote, guess what I am doing today?

Not watching baseball, followed by four exclamation marks. Former President Donald Trump is calling for conservatives to boycott corporations. Saying it's finally time for Republicans and conservatives to fight back. Boycott Major League Baseball, Coca-Cola, Delta Airlines, JPMorgan Chase, Viacom, CBS, Citi Group, Cisco, UPS and Merck. The radical left will destroy our country if we let them. We will not become a socialist nation, adding Happy Easter. Okay, first of all, I love how he just threw Happy Easter in there. I mean, forget politics, I think Trump needs to start a line of greeting cards.

Hunter Biden's laptop exposes the whole Russia hoaxed. The election was rigged. Mazzle Tuft on your Bitzpa. But more importantly, Trump has now called for boycotting the NFL and the MLB. I mean, at this rate, pretty soon the only sport left for him to watch will be what? Soccer.

And I actually think that he'll like it, especially the flopping. Mr. President, an important part of this sport is making it seem like your opponent did something wrong when in fact they didn't. It truly is the beautiful game. And honestly you got a feel for the GOP because they spend so much time defending corporate interests, trying to cut corporate taxes, letting corporations do whatever they want, and then the corporations are just like, cool, now we have more money to pay Colin Kappenik. Not only that, Democrats are like, we will disband every corporation and make them pay.

And Coke and Delta are like, yes, Queen, slay us. But this is tough for these corporations too. I mean, they must really miss the old days, you know, when they didn't have to take sides on voting rights or culture wars.., you their their their their their their, their, their, tha, tha, the, the, the, the, and their, and the, and the, and their, and their, and their, and their, and the, and the, and thi, and thi, and their, and then, and then, and they. their, and their, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, ta, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge.a, t just made diapers out of asbestos, and that was that. But these days, being a cooperation means trying to navigate all these political issues without getting boycotted, which is not easy. But luckily, we have an idea for how they can avoid this problem altogether. Here at Delta Airlines, we've heard your concerns.

You want us to speak out against voter suppression. And you want us to speak out for voter suppression. It's been an uncomfortable position for us, like trying to squeeze your knees into one of our coach seats. Until now. Introducing Blue Delta and Red Delta are new subsidiaries that let you patronize the company with your values. At Blue Delta we offer carbon offsets, an in-flight copy of Michelle Obama's memoir and direct service between New York and Los Angeles

with nowhere in between. At Red Delta, every plane features an in-flight shooting range. And in the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, no masks will drop. Hungry? Take Delta Blue and enjoy our gluten-free and vegan meals. Or take Delta Red, where everyone is served a cow personally shot by Don Jr. But most importantly, Red Delta's official corporate position is that black people should not vote. While Blue Delta's corporate headquarters is located in a cloud above the ocean and will not return to America until racism is over. So buy blue or red. No matter which you choose, we guarantee that your money will never go

to the other one. Delta Airlines. Guys, we're try in here. Donald Trump may have lost the 2020 election, but that's only if you count all the votes against him. The good news though is that doesn't mean he walked away from the race, empty-handed. Well Trump supporters may have gotten or given more than they bargained for when they donated to his re-election campaign. A New York Times investigation found the people who thought they were sending a single donation were charged over and over again by his campaign operation, and what the Times calls an intentional scheme to boost revenue.

Recurring online donations were set up by default. Here is how that fine print disclaimer looked. Take a look at this. It was buried. That tiny line of the bottom of the first yellow box calls for a weekly recurring donation. Hundreds of thousands of people had money withdrawn without their knowledge, leading to a record amount of fraud claims against more than 64 million bucks in refunds in the last months of 2020.

The 63-year-old man willingly initially contributed $500 to the tru-$500 to the tune of $300,000 in less than 30 days. When the man had his bank account repeatedly charged $500 times in the weeks to come to the tune of $3,000 in less than 30 days. God damn. Say what you want about Donald Trump, but this man is a legend. His last act as president was to rob his own supporters. They loved him so much. They stormed the capital for him.

And meanwhile, he was like, you go on ahead. I'll watch your stuff leave your wallet here Bobby I got you what's most surprising to me is that Trump's base didn't expect this from him because guys if you know Donald Trump at all you should know that he will scam anyone that's why even when Melani is at home she still takes her purse with her to the bathroom I I'm going peepee now, credit card comes with me, Donald. Now, you'd probably think that after getting scammed, his supporters would have second thoughts about him, but it turns out some of the victims still say that they are loyal to Donald Trump.

I mean, how far does he have to go for these guys to stop believing in him? Well, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, th thuuuuil th thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that check box that let Trump take my nose, but that's my fault. I would still shake the man's hand if I had a hand because I missed that checkbox too. And finally, there's another political story that we missed while we were off the air last week. And you know normally when we miss a political scandal, we just say, oh big deal, and we wait for the next one, because it's fine. Scandals about politicians come around more often than YouTube apologies.

But this story is so insane that we just have to talk about it. Stunning new allegations that Florida Republican, Matt Gates, paid women for sex. The Justice Department is investigating whether the congressman in a local Florida politician gave cash or other items of value to multiple women who were recruited online to sleep with them. The men allegedly told women to meet at hotels and that some of the encounters reportedly involved the drug ecstasy. The inquiry is also examining whether Gates had a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old

girl and possibly violated sex trafficking laws. Sources tell us that as a member of the Florida House of Representatives, female colleagues referred to him as, quote, creepy Gates because he made them feel so uncomfortable. Once in Congress, sources say Gates allegedly boasted of his sexual encounters with women and would allegedly try to show colleagues photos and videos of naked women he'd claimed he'd slept with. One source saying he tried to show him video of a naked woman with a hula hoop. Okay, this is crazy. Matt Gates, Florida congressman and only living relative of Vivas and Butthead, being

accused of sex crimes. And there are a lot of different accusations happening here. Now, do I think that Matt Gates looks like a guy who shows photos of naked women to people at work? Yes. But, do I think that he would have paid for sex? Yeah, definitely. But do I think that he's the kind of guy who would take ecstasy

and have sex with an underage girl? Also yes. So really, there's only one question left for Gates. Does he deny all of the charges? Or does he admit to everything and just become king of Florida? And don't forget, these allegations would be criminal no matter what, but the fact that he's in Congress makes them even worse. Because at what points in the day is he showing all of these nude videos?

And that's why Americans should be free to choose their own health care. And speaking of free, check out these tette-ays! Florida, the place that answers the question, what if all the stuff that didn't make it in a hot dog, became a state. Florida regularly faces its share of disasters, rising sea levels, hurricanes, rampant sleeve robbery, and

now it's looking at toxic floods. We're going to turn out of Florida where tonight there is a frantic effort to prevent a catastrophic flood from a wastewater pond near Tampa. Hundreds have been evacuated. Crews are pumping out millions of gallons of to toxic water to relieve pressure at the pond. The Piney Point Reservoir at an old phosphate plant is surrounded by radioactive material. A collapse of the aging reservoir could send a 20-foot wall of waste water into nearby areas. That's why 30 million gallons of the contaminated water are being pumped every 24 hours into Tampa Bay and other waterways,

raising fears it could kill fish and wildlife. Some 300 homes in a nearby prison already under evacuation orders. Sweet Jesus, Florida could get hit by a 20-foot wall of toxic water surrounded by radioactive material. You know what this means, right? If this thing breaks, it's gonna to create a race of mutant Florida people. Nudes.

Now you might be thinking, wait, Trevor, I thought a radioactive flood was Florida's origin story. But no, this is a new threat from a toxic waste pond, which raises a big question. Isn't it weird that America just dumps its toxic waste in a pond and calls it a day? I mean, it's never a great sign when your solution to a problem sounds like a problem. We have a lot of toxic waste to get rid of.

And you know what I'm thinking? Toxic waste pond? And a big part of this problem isn't just that the water is toxic but that the walls that are keeping the water in are radioactive and if the water goes over that wall it will take the radiation with it. And look I know hindsight is 20-20, but how did they not realize what a terrible design that was? I mean it's like building a lion cage out of guns. Yeah, it might keep the lions in for a while, but if they get out, now those lines are strapped. Moving on now to some business news. According to a new report, more than 50 major U.S.

corporations paid zero federal taxes last year. And now, Janet Yellen, U.S. Treasury Secretary and Retired Hogwords professor, has a plan for making them pay up. Today, Janet Yellen in her first major speech as Treasury Secretary called for a global corporate tax rate that would stop countries from trying to compete by lowering corporate tax rates to try to attract new business. We're working with G20 nations to agree to a global minimum corporate tax rate that can stop the race to the bottom.

Together we can use a global minimum tax to make sure the global economy thrives based on a more level playing field. Now this, this is a great idea because guys let's be, let's be real. Corporations shouldn't be able to move to a different country just to avoid higher taxes, right? They should move to a different country to avoid going to prison for all those children they got killed. I mean it's actually wild that corporations can be incredibly profitable but not pay into the societies that support them. It's kind of like if Mark Zuckerberg still lived at his corporations can be incredibly profitable, but not pay into the societies that support them.

It's kind of like if Mark Zuckerberg still lived at his parents' house and didn't pay rent. You're a billionaire, my man? At least chip in full of cable. And what makes the system more frustrating is how little corporations have to do to claim that they're located in another country for tax purposes. And do you have any proof that your company operates out of the Cayman Islands? Uh, I have the seashel? Okay, I get it. No need to bury us in all this paperwork. I get it. Put the shell away. I get it. So look, I'm actually glad that they're trying to force corporations to pay their fair share. But this is only going to work if you get all the countries to agree to to to to to to to to the countries to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, tea, tea, tea, tea, tea, tea, tea, te, their, their, you get all the countries to agree to it. You know, it's like bars in a college town.

If there's one of them not checking IDs, well, then that's where the party's at. Honestly, I don't even know if getting all the countries on earth is even enough. I mean, why do you think Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos want to go to Mars so bad? It's not to advance advance to advance human advance human advance human advance human advance human human human human human human human human human human human human to advance human to advance human to advance to advance to advance to advance to the to advance to to advance human the to to to the to to to the the to to to the the to the to to to set up a peel box baby. And finally, let's pour out a 40 gigabyte bottle for an old internet friend who is soon to be no more. It's the end of an era. Yahoo! Answers announced it'll be shutting down on May 4th. Users won't be able to post any new questions or answers after April 20th. The move ends the 16-year reign of one of the internet's longest-running question and answer sites.

The company says the site has become less popular over the years as its members' needs have changed. Oh no, now where will we go to get life or death medical advice from anonymous strangers? I mean, this was the spot. But yes, if you don't know about Yahoo Answers, it's the site where the world's dumbest people seek answers to even dumber questions. Questions like, do you think humans will ever be able to walk on the sun? Or does spider have puss-puss?

And I know people will say that Yahoo Answers was a wasteland. You know, the questions were all so stupid, but that's exactly what made it so valuable. Because no matter what you searched online, whether it was, what happens if I swallowed an air pod, or how to tie a tie when hand is stuck in toaster. You knew that at least one other person had already asked it on Yahoo Answers, and you felt a little less alone. By the way, the air pod comes out in your poop. The truth is, Yahoo Answers is dead now because it wasn't keeping up with the more effective services.

Because yeah, yes, yeah, and kept people but to truly be successful in this day and age, you also have to radicalize people into white supremacy. That's how you thi people, thi people, thi people, thi people, thi people, thi people, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that, that's that, that, that, that, that, thi. thi people into white supremacy. That's how you make it in tech. But still, people, I'm sad to see Yahoo answers go. I mean, it's never easy to say goodbye to beloved old websites. I still remember where I was the day Ask Jeeves was assassinated. Fucking Al-Qaeda, man. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it.

This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling? But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17th.

Mitch McConnell, Senate Minority Leader and Action Figure that got way too close to a light bulb. Like most Republicans, McConnell has been very upset that corporations, like Delta and Coca-Cola, are speaking out against Georgia's new voter restriction law, which limits drop boxes, makes it illegal to pass out water to people waiting in line, and lets people skip to the front if they're wearing boat shoes. And now, McConnell is telling corporations to just stay out of politics completely,

with one small exception. There's also big news concerning the fallout from Georgia's new laws restricting voter access. Major League Baseball announced July's all-star game will be played in Denver following its removal from Atlanta and protest of the Georgia law. Today, Senate Republican leader, Mitch McConnell, traditionally a big supporter of corporate free speech, slammed companies like Coca-Cola and Delta for speaking out against the law.

Republicans buy stock and fly on planes and drink Coca-Cola too. So what I'm saying here is I think this is quite stupid to jump in the middle of a highly controversial issue, particularly when they got their facts wrong. I'm not talking about political contributions. Most of them contribute to both sides. They have political action committees. That's fine. It's legal.

It's appropriate. I support that. I'm talking about taking a position on a highly incendiary issue like this and punishing a community or a state because you don't like a particular law that passed, I just think it's stupid. Now that, that's my Mitch right there. Ha ha! Look at this Mitch, Mitch ass, ma'am. Keep your mouth shut and hand over the money. That's literally what bank robbers say.

For real, Mitch McConnell does not give a fuck, man. He just lays out the game for you straight. Ah, here's a political opinion for you. Uh, Koch rules everything around me, Cray, mother fuck, ma'am, dollar, dollar dollar bear, ma'am. And you know, this is especially hilarious coming from Mitch McConnell, because don't forget, don't forget.

He helped create the situation today where politicians are so dependent on big business for campaign spending that they basically let companies write all of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they basically let companies write all of the laws. But you see, Mitch, after you spent decades helping companies intervene in politics, you can't now be upset that companies want to intervene in politics. The monster you created is coming after you. Just like how you enabled Trump, and then he came after you, or like how you enabled your foreskin, and then it took over your neck.

And by the way, I like how McConnell is especially offended that businesses would take a position in a highly controversial issue because I mean like if the issue isn't controversial then why would they announce their position at all. What does that mean? It would be weird if Coca-Cola came out like it is our official position as a company that it can be nice to sleep in on the weekend. Don don th th th don th don don. Don don th don't. Don don't. Don don't. Don. Don. Don th th th th th th at th. Don't th at th. th at th at th. the the th at the the th at the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to to their, to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, the it can be nice to sleep in on the weekend. Don't act me, don't act me. Moving on to international news. Back in 2018, you might remember that Donald Trump took some time off of Gulf to tear up the deal that was supposed to keep Iran from getting nuclear weapons.

And now, Joe Biden's attempt to get things back on track is off to a delicate start. The U.S. and Iran began the the the their Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran Iran to to to to the U. to to to the U. to to to to the U.S. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the the th th theuu. the the th th theu. th thean. to to to to to to to. too off to a delicate start. The US and Iran began indirect talks today to discuss possible US re-entry into the 2015 Iran nuclear deal. Iranian and American officials held talks today in Vienna, well, sort of. But their representatives didn't meet face to face. Instead, each group spoke with European diplomats who then shuttled back and forth across the city between the two parties, hoping to move the conversation the conversation the conversation the conversation the conversation the conversation the conversation the conversation the conversation the conversation the conversation to to to to to to the conversation to to the city between the two parties, hoping to move the conversation along. Okay, you gotta admit, this is hilarious.

The United States and Iran are so at odds that they won't even talk directly to each other. They're just passing messages through other people like they're in middle school. France, could you please tell Iran that we can be friends again, but only if they say they're sorry first. Uh, France, maybe you could go and tell America that they started it, so they should apologize first. We started the fight? We are, uh, what about the hostages?

Uh, I'm not talking to you, America, I was talking to France. Okay, everybody, come down, come down. Let's just all have a little sex and we can figure this out. And don't get a twisted, repairing this relationship is gonna be tough. But that is what Biden signed up for. He's gonna spend his whole presidency repairing the things that Trump messed up. Getting control of the pandemic, fixing the post office, canceling the White House subscription to wet but but th th but th but th but th but th but th but th but th but th but th but thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuice th but th. th. th. thuice thuice thusedeme. thuice thu thu thu thu th post office, cancelling the White House subscription to wet-but magazine. You don't need a paper copy, it's all online now. And finally, let's get into some technology news.

We're all familiar with Siri, right? The surveillance state omnispy who helps us schedule meetings. But the next time you ask Siri to do something for you, the voice that says it doesn't know what you mean could sound a little different. Siri is getting a bit of a voice makeover. Apple's virtual assistant will now feature four voice options to more than its previous update. Now Siri will also no longer default to a female sounding voice in order to be more inclusive.

Apple changed things up after other companies' virtual assistants faced backlash for all defaulting to female voices. Apple says you're going to notice the Siri changes in a software update later this year. I'm sure that Apple has its reasons, but it's kind of an asshole move to fire Siri in the middle of a pandemic. You didn't hear this from me, but just the other day, I heard Siri asking Alexa if she could borrow some money.

Okay, I understand why they're changing this, but I'm a little worried about having a male Siri. Hey, Siri, how do I get to the opera? Dude, you want to go to the opera? The game is on tonight! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, bro! I meant, how do I get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to want to go to the opera? The game is on tonight! No, no, no, bro! I meant, how do I get to Buffalo Wild Wings? You know I smash. Right, Siri?

Hey, Siri, you know I smash, right? Guns. Guns, the perfect way to win every argument permanently. President Biden has been trying to push gun reform ever since his friend from college was shot to death by to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to rying to push gun reform ever since his friend from college was shot to death by Aaron Burr. And today, he took another step to solve it. President Joe Biden this morning announcing his plan to go around Congress on the issue of gun control.

This following several recent mass shootings. President Biden outlined a series of executive actions on gun violence today. The president's executive orders direct the Justice Department to regulate a gun accessory known as a stabilizing brace, which can be used to allow a pistol to operate similarly to a rifle. The DOJ will also be tasked with publishing a template for red flag legislation to be adopted by the states. The EO's also direct the Justice Department

to a ruling on so-called ghost guns, untraceable weapons that can be made at home from parts purchased on the internet. The president said he wants those gun kits to be treated as firearms. That's right. Biden wants to regulate ghost guns, which are guns that come in kits,

and you can assemble yourself. Although, if you ask me that, that, that, that that that that thiiiiiiiiii thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho tho thus to be thus to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be thi, thi, thean, thean, thean, thean, the theananan, theanan, theanananananan, thoananananan, to be to come in kits and you can assemble yourself. Although if you ask me, that should be the only type of gun that you can buy in America. I mean, because that way people will be forced to breathe before they can act. What you say? Man, I'm a shoot you dead. Now I'm a shoot you. Man, let me just, once I build this real quick, and you're going, wait, hold on. They got two of these th. Man, man, man, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. tho, tho, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, than, than, than, than, than, tha. theea. tha. thea. tha. tha. tha. you go wait wait hold on hold on they got two these they need I need one more of your hey man you you got a you got a C8 yeah there's supposed to be two seats I only got one over here man I can't build this without man how about we just talk about this because I can't build this gun right now and now look don't get me wrong I think it's great sad to see what few reforms are available when Congress

refuses to act. I mean, regulating, stabilizing braces? Those are just attachments for making guns more accurate. Basically, America is saying, it can't stop mass shooters, but what if they had slightly worse aim? But let's move on to some exciting news from the world of science, where we've discovered that everything we thought we knew about everything might actually be wrong. Scientists in Illinois say that they believe they may have discovered a

subatomic particle that does not obey the known laws of physics. It's called a muon. And it's essentially described as a type of heavy electron. Some research believed that this discovery could open up an entire new world of physics. called a muon. And it's essentially described as a type of heavy electron. Some research believed that this discovery could open up an entire new world of physics and give us a greater understanding of how the universe operates. I knew it.

Democrats have barely been in power for three months. And now even particles aren't obeying the law. But yes, this is actually potentially huge news. You see, after slamming a bunch of particles together, scientists now think that there may be some entirely new mystery force controlling the universe, which is massive. Because until now, there were only four fundamental forces of nature that we knew about.

Gravity, electromagnetism, love and Godzilla. And this discovery is another reminder that we never know as much about the universe as we think we do. I mean, when you think about it, we're really not that different from people back in the middle ages. So that settles it.

The sun revolves around the earth. It rains when God is sad. And if a woman makes eye contact with you, she's a witch. Feels good to know everything, right Kathy. Ha ha! You witch you looked at me, I told you she was. Honestly, the fact that even the world's top scientists don't know what the hell is going on, it actually makes me feel kind of good about not paying attention in physics class. I mean, the laws of physics that I was supposed to learn may not have even been the the the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the to be to be the the to know the to know the, right the, right the, right the, right the, right the, right right right right the, right right right the, right right right the, right everything everything everything everything the, right the, right the, right the, right right right the, right the, right the, right the, right the, right the, right the, right the, right the the the the the the the the the true true the true the true, right the, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, theat, right, right, right, right, right, right class. I mean, the laws of physics that I was supposed to learn may not have even been true. So I guess we both failed, huh, Mr. Stevenson.

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