The Daily Show: Ears Edition - This Week's Top Stories - Joe Biden Wins the Presidency & Donald Trump's Ongoing State of Denial

Episode Date: November 14, 2020

Joe Biden's electoral victory leads to partying in the streets, President Trump finds out about his defeat while golfing, and the Trump administration continues to pretend he won reelection. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter's smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, zip recruiters powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use zip recruiters pre-written

invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let zip recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. thack. thack stack. the h stack. the hay st. the haystack stack. the haystack stack. the hase. th. the hase. th. tacetetetck. tacetck. tacetack. t. t. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. Immediately. Immediately. Immediately. Immediately. Immediately. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. t. I. t. t. t. tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip. tip. tip. hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter.com slash zip. Again that's Zip Recruiter.com. Sip Recruiter. The smartest way to hire. When 60 minutes premiered in September 1968, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thecki. thecki. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi, thi, the smartest way to hire. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television.

Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at that's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17th. big news over the weekend. Yeah, I finally learned how to dunk. Boom! Turns out you just need to make the net a little closer to the ground. I don't know why I didn't think of that. Oh, and also this happened. CNN projects Joseph R. Biden, Jr. is elected the 46th president of the United States. There was jubilence as people flooded the streets today,

celebrating from the White House to the West Coast. Celebrations in the streets in New York City, the Tri-State, and across the world. On the streets of the largest cities, today, a party. In President Trump's hometown, New York City, supporters shouted out their windows. There were bands and champagne. Costumes and tears. An impromptu dance party broke out. You had Sweet Caroline sing-alongs and nah-na good-na-no-good-bye sing-alongs. Oh yeah. What a day, what a day, what a day, what a day now.

People were out in the streets dancing dancing, they were partying, people were singing Sweet Caroline, which was genius, because any celebration that's singing Street Caroline isn't gonna get broken up by the cops. For real though, people, this was an amazing weekend. It was such a festive atmosphere. The Saturday was amazing, everyone was so happy. Even coronavirus was like, man, you guys have fun. I'm taking the day of. Now, I'm kidding.

I'm joining in. Noam, yam, yam, yam, yam. But yes, that's right, people. This weekend, Joseph Rianna Biden was declared the 46th president of the United States. And I know it was tough waiting four days to get the results. on a Saturday morning, right? Because think about it. Normally it happens on a more like a Tuesday, Wednesday, you just gotta be at home, but now people could soak it in.

They heard the news while they were out with their families, or going out for a walk or getting coffee. I mean, one guy even found out on the golf course. President Trump was not at the White House when he learned he'd lost it. He was golfing, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. He was golfing. He was golfing. He was golfing. He was golfing. He was golfing. He was golfing. He was golfing. He was golfing th, driven home, past his critics cheering. Oh, no matter what you think about Trump, I think we can all agree that that is a terrible way to find out that you're fired. I mean, it's bad enough for your boss to tell you to clean out your desk, but can you imagine if on the way to your desk the entire office was lining the hallways to boo you. Yeah, get out of here, Jeffrey! Accounting is better without you, you know, I think the worst part for Trump was having to see Melania in that crowd.

Boo, you suck, go away forever, don't come back. This is also really tough for the Secret Service, guys. Because they're trained to guard the President physically, but not emotionally. I mean, so they can't help him at all. I can protect you from a bullet, Mr. President, but only you can protect your feelings. Oh, also, who's surprised that he learned that he lost while he was golfing? Donald Trump is always golfing. That was the most likely option. If they said President Trump learned this while he was volunteering at an orphanage, then I'd be shocked.

What does blow my mind is that Trump could keep playing golf after he got this news. You know, I actually wonder if his golf partner found partner thine thine golf partner thine golf thine thine, thine, thine, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, th. th. th. th. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thri. I thrown, thrown, thri. I throooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I he got this news. I actually wonder if his golf partner found out first and then used it against him, just as he was taking his swing, Biden won! You know, a part of me actually wishes that Trump didn't hear about the election until he got home, because then, he would have been driving past that crowd going, look, that wasn't my best game of golf, but you guys don't need to boo. But for once, the big political news was not about Donald Trump. So as he disappeared into the White House bunker, it was time for the people who were kicking him out to come forward and take their boughs. I'll work as hard for those who didn't vote for me as those who did.

Let this grim era of demonization in America begin to end here and now. Wow. I don't know about you guys, but after four years of having to listen to Trump, a normal presidential speech was almost weird. I was listening to the speech like, wait, so we're not blaming anything on Hillary? Nothing? And let's be honest. At this point, I bet even Trump's people want Biden to lower the temperature. I mean, mainly because half of them are running a fever from COVID.

Still though, I'm sure that they were happy to hear Biden say, let the grim demonization begin to end. Although I do like how Biden didn't say, let's end it. He said, let's begin to end it. You know? Like it'll be too dangerous to just stop demonizing all at once. We've got to stop being mean to each other in this country next week. But for now, what the fuck is going on with Mitch McCartle's hands th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thus, thus, th, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thu, thu-and, thu-and, thu-and, thu-and, thu-a, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thooooooooooooooooo. to to to thooooo. tho. tho. tho. thi, the fuck is going on with Mitch McCartell's hands? You see that shit? Looks like he's got baloney fingers. But the truth is, Biden was calling for healing. And he was promising to work just as hard for the people who didn't vote for him as the people who did.

And after these last few years, man, I think that's a nice sentiment. Although the truth is the country so divided, I don't thiiiiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. theeeeeean, thi. thi. thi. theeean, thi. thi. thi. thi. th country so divided, I don't know how that would work in real life. You know, is Biden really going to try and cater to both because everyone is so far apart? I'm going to listen to Dr. Fauci and then of course I will behead him. And to reach across the aisle, I will find my son Hunter and lock him up. Am I good president or what? The point is people. It's genuinely going to take take take take take take taken to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to to to to to to to to to to the to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. take some time getting used to speeches that sound like speeches. But otherwise, for Biden and Harris, it was a flawlessly choreographed evening. Well, except for one moment, when a confetti cannon went off, and based on the candidates' reactions, it doesn't look like they were expecting it.

I'm standing away. Geez. That was terrifying. I don't know about you. But when I saw that, the black part of me in the movie theater came out, I was like, Get out of there, Joe! They're trying to take you out! Come on to get down! This is actually something I think we need to address as a planet, people. We have to stop celebrating with things that sound like gunfire. Fireworks, confetti cannons, popping champagne corks, all of it.

Half the time I'm like, whoa, did something good happen or shit going down? I don't need to be startled like this anymore, people. And neither does Joe Biden. Why are you blowing up things next to Joe Biden? At this point, Joe Biden's campaign should be wrapping him in the attic until inauguration day. The presidential election was called for Joe Biden. But Donald Trump has still not conceded, which I get. I mean, he wants to cling onto power as long as he can.

And also, golfing isn't as much fun when you're not missing work to do it. And if it was just Trump's personal delusion that he won the election, it might not matter so much. But he's got a lot of people who are right there with him. Many are trying to steal this election from President Trump. There is no doubt about it. The real point is that fraud took place, and that should horrify us. I can factually tell you tonight it will be impossible to ever know the true fair

accurate election results. That's a fact. There's simply no way Joe Biden was legitimately elected president that just can't believe it. I ask oh God that you would take your iron rod and I ask that you would smash the delusion father of Joe Biden is our president. He is not. The media said Joe Biden's president. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Either that man is the devil or he's auditioning to be the next joker. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Whoh! Either that man is the devil or he's auditioning to be the next joker. The media said, Joe Biden's present.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Now what's really weird is that Fox has already projected Biden as the win of the election, right? But then Fox are also the same people denying that he won the election. Like which one is it? It's like when your dog wants to play fetch but then refuses to let go of the ball. Make up your mind, Fido. And whether these people believe what they're saying or they're just pretending to believe it, it's terrifying either way. But regardless, it's not surprising. It's not surprising that people like Sean Hannity and Lou Dobbs are true right or die. What's a bigger deal is that Republicans with actual power are also throwing

their weight behind Trump's election challenges. Falling in line, key Republicans get behind President Trump and his claims without evidence of widespread voter fraud. The president has every right to look into allegations and to request recounts under the law. I'm going to stand with President Trump. If a Democrat were doing this, it'd be cheered on and we're not going to let the media intimidate us. The Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo just told reporters that he basically does not trust the election results either. There will be a smooth transition

to a second Trump administration. O'nighed Attorney General William Barr and a Justice Department memo, authorizing U.S. of voting irregularities if they find them. Oh, mega fans rejoice! Because Bill Barr is on the case. Yes! The same Bill Barr who investigated Obama and found nothing with the same Department of Justice that investigated Hillary and found nothing.

So if you're looking to find nothing, you know the man to call. Oh, and it looks like Mitch McConnell and Lindsay Graham are also partnering with Trump to undermine the election, which is a terrible idea. But I would love to see these three together in a heist movie. Okay, guys, you steal the votes, and then I'll meet you at the Four Seasons Parking Elect. Which Four Seasons? Ma, here we go again. Now look, I don't know if Donald Trump genuinely believes that he's the real winner of this election.

I mean, keep in mind, he's also the person who actually thinks he looks good. Like, he does his hair in the morning and walks away from the mirror thinking, yeah, I nailed it. So, who knows what he thinks? But the truth of the matter is, most other Republicans know that Joe Biden will be the next president. And right now, they're just saying what Trump and his base want to hear. Not because they're worried about the vote that just happened, but because of the one that's around the corner. Lindsey Graham this morning fest up as to one reason why they're standing behind him. They've got two Senate and special elections that will occur in January, if Democrats win both, they will gain control of the Senate

under the new president. Lindsay Graham said, if we don't scrutinize these election results, we could hurt our chances of riling up our base and turning them out in January. They're concerned that if they get sideways with the president, either he won't help in Georgia with these two seats at stake or Trump voters will be depressed and stay home. So again they're playing this dangerous game to keep people energized. Uh yeah that's dangerous. Trump is screaming made up shit that's

weakening trust in American democracy but Republicans are going along with it so that they can squeeze out a few more seats in the Senate. It's like burning down your house just to make smores or dating Kevin Fedeline just so you can maybe meet Britney spiers.. Is th me the th me the the th me the the the the the th me the the the the the the the the the the game. Is the game. Is the game. Is the game the game the game to to to to to to to to to keep to keep to the game to to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to to to to to to to to to to to to to the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game their game their game their game their game. their game their game the. their game thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the in the Senate. It's like burning down your house just to make smores or dating Kevin Fedeline just so you can maybe meet Britney Spears. Is it worth it? And by the way, Trump's refusal to concede the election doesn't just raise a big philosophical concern about the democratic system.

It is also messing with Joe Biden's plans in some very concrete ways. Starting the transition of power between the Trump and Biden administrations is extremely critical, but Biden is still unable to unlock all of the resources that should now be available to him as the winner of the election, including access to highly classified information and intelligence briefings. Holding the key, the General Services Administration, whose Trump appointed administrator Emily Murphy has refused to cooperate with Biden's transition as president-elect, a GSA spokesman telling CNN

there is no election winner. So just to be clear, Trump isn't just often a corner blowing of steam. No. His refusal to accept reality is going to affect Joe Biden's ability to govern effectively from day one. And with all the shit that America is going thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. the the, the, the. the. the. the. the the the thea. thea. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. Biden's ability to govern effectively from day one. And with all the shit that America is going through right now, Joe Biden needs every day that he can get. But now, Biden can't get briefings, he can't get the money to set up his staff,

and knowing Trump, I bet it'll even get pettier than that. I bet Trump's going to take all the remote control batteries with him when he leaves. He's gonna replace all the toilet paper with that really thin toilet paper that your fingers always poked through. Oh, he's gonna change all the speed dials on the phone in the Oval Office so that they call the wrong world leaders. President Macron, it's me, Joe Biden. thrown, how crazy is that Vladimir Putin. So look, for the sake of the country, hopefully Republicans will step up and get Trump to at least give Biden the tools that he needs to take over.

The same way Trump got the tools when he was going to take over. Because otherwise, no one is going to be laughing. Well, except for this guy. Ha ha ha ha. Definitely the devil. Finding great candidates to hire it can be like trying to find a needle the the the the the the the the to to to to to find a the the to find a the to find a the the to find a to find a the the the to find a to the to the tooliioleileiletoleiletole- tool. tooliole- tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. Tools. Tools. Tools. Tools. Tools. Tools. Tools. Tools. Tools. Tool. Tool. Tool. Tool. Tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. to get. to get. to. to. to. to. to. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast.

And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter's smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, zip recruiter's powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use zip recruiter's pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites, and let zip recruder find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free

at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter.com slash zip. Zip Recruiter. the smartest way to hire. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second the th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. th. the th. th. th. thii-S. the thi-Sepepepepinsesefix. thi-S. thi-Sephinea-Sephea-Sephea-Sepnipe, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thianteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteanteante-up. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. There. th. There. th. th. th. thi-s. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. It has now been four or possibly 12 days since Joe Biden was declared president-elect

and Kamala Harris's sassy white friend. And since then, he's been busy trying to prepare his team for office but it's not going smoothly because Donald Trump, one-term president and tenant from hell is still going through all the stages of grief, denial, rage tweeting, undermining democracy and back to denial. The president's latest moves indicate that he is not ready to concede any time soon and that he he, and he, and th, and th, th, and th, th, th, th, and th, th, th, th th th th the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he is the, he's the, the, the, the, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, the, the, thweeting, undermining democracy, and back to denial. The president's latest moves indicate that he is not ready to concede any time soon and that he may not leave all that gracefully. Several sources throughout government agencies indicate that President Trump has put out the word through his staff that he does not want any federal agency cooperating with a Biden transition

team, and further that he doesn't want any government agency doing anything that would imply that Biden won the election. We're also learning that the White House has started to press these agencies to come out with a budget for next year as if there will be no change at the White House. One administration official telling the Washington Post quote, they're pretending nothing happened. We're all supposed to pretend this is normal and do all this work while we know we're just going to have to throw it away." End quote. The Trump administration is reportedly also continuing to vet new political appointees for jobs in a second Trump term. President-Elect Joe Biden Tuesday criticized President Trump's refusal to concede the election.

I just think it's an embarrassment, quite frankly. The only thing that, uh, how can, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're just they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they, we they they they, we they're we're they're they're they're they're they they they they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're just they're just th. thi thi thi thi thi the thr-c thro the the thro the. thro the throw the they're just they're just they're just they're just th concede the election. I just think it's an embarrassment, quite frankly. The only thing that, how can I say this tactfully, I think it will not help the president's legacy. Shame, guys. Joe Biden is right. Does Donald Trump really want denying the election results to be his legacy? Because I'd like to remember him as the president who kidnapped kids and helped kill 240,000 Americans.

Not for this. And please, can somebody tell me, how is Trump still vetting candidates for new jobs? What's that job interview like? So tell me, where do you see yourself in five years? Nah, bitch, where do you see yourself in five years. Nah, bitch. Where do you see yourself in five weeks? Trump is the kind of captain who would have been taking job applications on the Titanic. So Daniel, do you have any experience working on a sinking ship? Should we leave? A lot of people or jumping overboard? Don't worry about them. They're just being dramatic. Let me show you where you're going to be sleeping.

I mean, guys, it must be so uncomfortable working in the White House right now, because everyone around Trump knows he lost, but they've got to all go along with the lie. That's got to be exhausting, especially when you're already running a fever from COVID. But look, I'm sorry, Donald. This just isn't going to work. You can't pretend that everything's fine when the whole entire world saw you get fired. Mannega, if people in Bosnia know you don't have a job, you do not have a job. Honestly, people, I don't think Donald Trump has ever looked more pathetic than this.

And yes, I'm including the time he played tennis in his sport diapers. Because the only way that he can overturn the election is to prove that that that tho the the the there there there their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, the, the-i, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is just, is just, is just, thi, is just, is just, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.. Soea, is just, is, is just, is, thi. Because the only way that he can overturn the election is to prove that there has been nationwide voter fraud and the truth is that's just not panning out. Election officials in states across the country report to the New York Times no evidence of widespread voter fraud. The Times reached out to top election officials in every state to ask whether they suspected or had evidence of illegal voting. None reported any major voting issues. As for Pennsylvania, the president claims, and I quote, Pennsylvania prevented us from watching much of the ballot count. The Trump campaign lawyer to watch the tru.

The Trump campaign lawyer admitted, the Trump campaign lawyer admitted, the Trump campaign. The Trump campaign lawyer admitted, contrary to his initial complaint that, yeah, there were, in fact, observers present. Similarly, a state judge in Michigan dismissed a lawsuit over access to ballot counting. She cited a lack of evidence. She cited, a laxable evidence. the campaign had even sued the right party. In Georgia, the campaign sued over late mail-in ballots, allegedly being counted. The judge dismissed it, again, the judge dismissed, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, told, to, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, is, is, is, is, is, is, is tooom. the the the the the tooing, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is?? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th threat. th th th threat. th th th threat. th th threat. th th being thrown out in the courts all over the country.

Michigan courts, Georgia courts, federal courts, even food courts are like, man, get your bullshit out of this Panda Express, Donald. He's getting thrown out of courts so fast. The bailiffs don't even say all rise. They're just like, nah, y'all can keep sitting man we won't be here long yeah yeah you just stay where you is and here's the thing guys everyone knows Trump lost even Donald Trump knows that he lost you know this you realize you haven't seen his face since they called the race he hasn't shown it you think that if Donald Trump really

thought he'd want he'd be hiding no we know this guy the guy would be holding a victory rally every single day he'd be flying around the country to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the too. I I I I told I to to to to to told I I told. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told. I I I I I. told. to the the the the the the the the tr. true. true. true. true. true. the true. true. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to'd be flying around the country on top of Air Force One doing that weird jerk-off dance that he does. And just so we're on the same page. Reporters haven't found widespread voter fraud. Election officials haven't found it and even the courts haven't found it. So now, Republicans are putting out a mass call for voter fraud. Election officials haven't found it. And even the courts haven't found it. So now, Republicans are putting out a mass call for voter fraud investigation volunteers. Republicans continue to search for widespread issues. In Texas, Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick is offering up to a million dollars to incentivize, encourage and reward people for reports of voter fraud, even though there has been no evidence of any there. Right now we're in an evidence gathering phase.

That's why we have a hotline, and that we're asking people to let us know if they have any of these irregularities that they saw, we'll pursue them, and then we will pursue legal action. The Trump campaign has set up this voter fraud hotline basically where it could field calls about these allegations of voter fraud. I'm told actually a lot of those calls have been prank calls that have been coming in. Oh man these poor Trump lawyers they're going to be getting into court like your honor I have a sworn

affidavit proving voter fraud from a Mr. Seymour Butts and his good friend Ben Dover and and they're both very concerned. Wait a minute. But what do they expect? What do they expect? You're gonna ask people to call in? What do you expect? The only calls anyone makes anymore are prank calls?

Any other reason, you just text. Even when your granny calls you now, she's like, hello, sweetie. thee, then maybe you should catch it, you loser. Ha ha ha ha ha. I also love how that one guy is offering a million dollars for evidence of voter fraud. One million dollars. That's how you know there's no voter fraud, man.

You never offer a million dollars for shit you think might actually happen. It's always like, oh yeah, I'll give you a million dollars if Cheryl goes to the prom with you. If you ask me the real surprise here isn't that the campaign was so desperate that they set up a fraud hotline? It's that they're not charging 399 a minute for it. You guys have only got like 70 more days to profit off this presidency. Come on Donald, there's no time to waste. Let's talk about the United United United United United the United the United the United the United the United the United the United the United the United. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. I. Is. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It is. It is. It is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the th. It's. It's. It's. I. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's. It's th. It's th. It's the th. It's no. It's the th. It's no. I. It's talk about the United States Senate. It's like a retirement home that can take away your health care. With the election day results coming in, the Senate is now divided almost exactly in half between Democrats and Republicans.

But there are actually two Senate elections in Georgia that weren't decided last week. And those are the ones that will determine which party wins this tug of war. Turning to Georgia, where the balance of power in the Senate will be decided just a couple of months from now. The Peach State will hold a pair of runoff elections in January, after neither race landed a winner with at least 50 percent of the vote. The two Senate runoffs in the state, scheduled for January 5th, will now determine the fate of the Senate, and how much legislation Mr. Biden is able to get passed next year. Both parties will be pouring tens of millions of dollars into the contests.

Every Republican of national profile will be heading down to Georgia, as well some prominent Democrats, you know, I think it's interesting, Brett, the scuttlebutt is that Democrats would rather Biden stay away and Obama go. Damn, Democrats want Obama to come down instead of Joe Biden. Man, once you go Barack, you never go back. And poor Joe Biden. I mean, he's president-elect, but Democrats are all still like, Obama! Everybody, let's get a Democratic Senate for Joe. Oh, who the hell is Joe? Obama!

But yes, both parties are descending on Georgia for these two Senate races. And if you live in Georgia, can I just say, I am so sorry for what is about to happen in your life? You thought the texts and TV ads were bad before? Phew, nah, man. RIP to your doorbell, because that is getting rung 50 times a minute. Volunteers are gonna be popping up in your dreams. Hi, sorry to interrupt your weird unicorn sex dream. Can we count on you on January fair?

In fact, there's gonna be so many TV ads. Now is the perfect time to cut the cord and cancel your cable. Wait, not right now, not right now. After after after after after after after the show. the show. the show. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. t. to t. to t. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t now, after the show, after the show. Phew, yeah that's better, that was close. Don't do that again. Now one reason that both parties think that they both have a shot in the Georgia Senate runoffs is that the presidential race there was surprisingly tight. Joe Biden did come out slightly ahead, but it's too close for comfort. The White House remains focused on the election tonight, winning a hand recount in Georgia

as it pushes other legal challenges that will likely have little bearing on the results. The election is over, but the counting is not tonight, with every ballot in Battleground Georgia set to be recounted by hand. Typically, recounts only change a race's margin by a few hundred votes or so, so it's very unlikely President Trump could overtake President-elect Biden's 14,000 vote lead in Georgia. But the Trump campaign today calls the recount a first step toward winning their legal fights despite no evidence of widespread voter fraud. That's right. Trump is getting a hand recount of every Georgia ballot. There's millions of them, hand recount. And I don't think that's going to be funn a the fun the fun to be the fun the fun to be fun the fun fun fun tha tha the tha the the the thi to be fun to be fun thi thick thick thi thi thi thick thake thake thi thake th thake the their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi thi. to be to be thi. the. the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. the. the.'s millions of them, hand recount. And I don't think that's gonna be fun for him,

because I mean, it's bad enough losing Georgia by 14,000 votes, but now imagine having to hear them one by one. It's also strange how election recounts are the one time where people think counting by hand is better than by machine. There's never any other situation where we say, okay, that's what the calculator.. th. th. th. th. the c. the c. the c. th. the c. the c. the c. the c. th. th. the c. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the thin. the thin. the the the t the the the te. the te. th the the. the. the. the. the. the where we say, okay that's what the calculator says but just to double check five six eleven thirteen twenty five would carry the one. All right yeah I think the spaceship has enough fuel you guys can take off. I also feel like counting each ballot by hand is gonna take forever not just because of the numbers but

because it's Georgia. Have you ever been to Georgia? Those people are not in a tha thuuuuuuu the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thus thus the thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus th. thus thus the. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the te c. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. that's te. te because it's Georgia. Have you ever been to Georgia? Those people are not in a rush. One vote, two votes, three votes. You gonna bring me some of that peach tea? What they need to do is they need to go in higher Atlanta's trap wrappers to do the counting for them. One in a six and a thousand and a millionop and a million that's gonna miss in and a candidate, and a bidden and the banning and it's a million and a win. But as you heard, it's unlikely that Trump will actually find enough miscounted ballots

to flip the results in Georgia. But even if he does, he still won't have enough electoral votes to change. results. Before we go, remember that Thanksgiving is coming up and in the era of Corona, there are a lot of seniors who are homebound who are at greater risk than ever before because they don't know where their next meal is coming from. Luckily, Meals on Wheels is out in the streets delivering meals to elderly Americans every single day to help keep them safe and nourished in communities around the country. If you can help out with this noble cause, then please donate whatever you can at the link below. The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition.

Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to the treasures in our archives. You're rolling? But that's all about to change.

Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a Second Look on Apple Podcasts starting September 17.