The Daily Show: Ears Edition - This Week's Top Stories | The Justice Department begins Investigating Trump for January 6th

Episode Date: July 30, 2022

The Justice Department begins investigating Trump for January 6th, Russia pulls out of the International Space Station, and Joe Manchin shocks Washington with a climate change bill compromise. Here's what happened this week.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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President Biden has officially tested negative for COVID, and he got his doctor's approval to come out of isolation. Yes, which is great. Really is great. President Biden has officially tested negative for COVID, and he got his doctor's approval to come out of isolation. Yes, which is great. Really is great. It's also the only positive approval he has at the moment, you know? But that's a start, that's a start.

In economic news, the Federal Reserve has announced that it will be raising interest rates yet again to try and fight inflation. Yeah, so your ability to buy a house has gone from no chance to try and fight inflation. Yeah, so your ability to buy a house has gone from no chance to What part of no chance don't you understand? Oh, and in pandemic news, two new studies have concluded that COVID-19 almost certainly started at the Wuhan market. Yeah, and I'm so glad we have this information

because, I mean now it's clear what we have to do, right? We've got to build a time machine and go back in time two years and invest in Peloton because it's going to blow up when the pandemic hits it's going to be huge. Make a lot of money. Seriously, what are we supposed to do with this information now? What are we going to do with that? It came from the Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan Wuhan w the w.. the w. the w. the w. the w. the w. the w. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their the w. the wo. the the the the the. the the. the the the ti. the the. the the thea. their thea. toe. toe. to to their. to. to do with that? It came from the Wuhan market, well, I'm not buying my groceries there anymore. Cancel Instacart order. Oh and finally, the jackpot for the Mega Millions Lottery is now sitting at over a billion dollars.

Billion, which is like a week's worth of gas. And just, just by the way, can I just say how I, I love how I, I love how I, I love how I, I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to to to do, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, what to the to the to the to to the the the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the way, can I just say how I love how people hate paying taxes? But if you think about it a lottery is really just taxes. Right? We all put our money into a thing and then it goes to someone. And then everyone's like, yeah, this is fair. But then if you say to everyone, let's take that money and put a billion dollars into then everyone's like yeah this is fair this is fair but then if you say to everyone let's take that money and put a billion dollars into schools and everyone's like taxes are bullshit oh I don't know I don't have to pay taxes I know then you're like okay let's all put our money in and then one person gets everyone was like yeah this is a fair system I don't know actually there's the justice department is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is is is is is is the th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. to. te is just just just is just is just. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the. the is just is the is the is the plot to overturn the election. Yeah, another investigation.

And I don't know guys, at this point, I feel like the Justice Department is just going to have to dedicate an entire division to Trump, you know, just give him his own one. You know, like they'll have National Security Division, the Civil Rights Division, and then the, what the hell did Donald Trump do now division? Because, you know, it's going, it's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, at the, at the, at the, at the, at thi, at thi, at thi, at thi, I, I, at thi, at, at, I, I, I, I, I feel, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th... I th. I th. I th. I th. I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. basically going to sound like a fast food joint during the dinner rush. You know, it's just like, we got two tax evasions! We got three witness tamperings. We got a serving of corruption. Don't forget the porn star on the side. Come on. We got crimes people. Keep it moving. Keep it moving. But anyway, let's move on to some of the bigger news stories of the day. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. to to to to to the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the the. the the the the. the the the. the the the teea. tea. tea. toea. toea. to theea. thee. the. the on to some of the bigger news stories of the day. Starting with China. First name, made in. For decades now, the world has been worried about if or when

China would choose to invade Taiwan. And the reason for this is that China has said that Taiwan is part of China. But they're out there in the streets acting like they're single. And because China knows that invading Taiwan could spark an international incident, they haven't. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th-a. thi, thi--s. thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiii. thii. thiiii. thi. thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, th're out there in the streets acting like they're single. And because China knows that invading Taiwan could spark an international incident, they haven't done it, right? But since Russia invaded Ukraine and basically only got canceled on Twitter, it's been reported that the Chinese government thinks that now might be the perfect time to strike. Yeah. It's the same way I saw my friend Brian telling his mom to go to go thought wow that's a cool idea. I'm gonna go tell my mom off too. Yeah, that was the day I made the very painful discovery that my mom has a very different parenting style than Brian's mom.

Very different. Anyway, Russia is basically Brian, right? And so China is preparing to take what they say is rightfully theirs. But it turns out if they want to get to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to to th. th. to to th. to th. th. to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. to to too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their tell. tell tell tell tell tell tell toe. tell tell toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to Taiwan, they're going to need to go through Nancy Pelosi. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's plan to visit Taiwan has created a stir in both Beijing and Washington. Tensions are running high between the US and China amid talks of a visit by US House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to Taiwan. U.S. officials are working to convince Pelosi of the diplomatic risks of her potential trip.

Beijing is furious over a potential trip by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to Taiwan. China sees the self-world island as a breakaway province that must be reunified with the mainland. Beijing is against any moot that appears to acknowledge Taiwan as an independent country or makes the U.S. relationship more formal. And just yesterday, China's Defense Department urged the U.S. to cancel Pelosi's visit. The department spokesperson said, quote, if the U.S. insists on taking its own course, the Chinese military will never sit idly by. God damn. Oh, they make it sound like the Chinese military is just going to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to the to to the to the to the to to the to to their, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi-s, the U.S.S. I, or the U.S.S.S. I, the U. I's, or the U. I the U. I the U. I the U. And, the U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U, or the the the the the thii thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiii.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S. thiiiiiiii. God damn. Oh, they make it sound like the Chinese military

is just gonna run over Nancy Pelosi with a tank. You know, completely destroy her. I mean, that would be good preparation for the midterms, but still, I don't know why she would go there. And I know what you're thinking, like, why is Nancy Pelosi trying to provoke a war? Did she buy stock tra last week? Hey, show some respect! Those other stock trades were just lucky guesses. No, the truth is Nancy Pelosi has been a big champion of Taiwanese independence for decades now.

It's her thing. But this still is a big headache for Joe Biden. Between inflation, Ukraine, gas prices and the midterms, the man does not have time to get into a war with China. I mean, that's probably the reason COVID left him so quickly. The virus was like, my man, you're dealing with a bunch of shit right now. I'm a bounce. But I'll be back in a few weeks. I can do that now. You've got to handle yourself.

You know what Nancy's doing here because the administration is like, don't do it Nancy. Nancy's like, I'm going anyway. She's doing that classic thing where like drunk white women get into a fight on behalf of their men, you know that thing? Where they're just like, you know what, we're not going to take this? My boyfriend's gonna kick your ass. And the boyfriend's like, Nancy, s don't care, yeah my boyfriend knows karate. It's like, God damn it, Nancy! Get in the car, Nancy! No one wants a world war. Oh, and speaking of a potential world war, we should definitely talk about the battle that's

brewing over Instagram. You know, the best app to see which of your high school friends are involved in pyramid schemes. If you've been on Instagram lately, you may have noticed that it it sucks right everything is an ad and your feed is full of people you don't follow which is so confusing yeah because I'm scrolling and I start reading someone's post I'm like do I know this person was I supposed to be at this wedding? And then you look and it says because you follow your friend we thought you might like a post from a stranger. No, I don't

Like to cute dress anyway Anyway, everyone everyone's been complaining about Instagram right everyone's been complaining, but they haven't been forced to respond until now because the royal family of Instagram has stepped into the fray. Instagram is defending itself after users started complaining about changes to the social media platform. It all started Monday when Kylie Jenner and Kim Kardashian posted messages on Instagram saying, make Instagram again, stop trying to be Tick-Tock.

Users appeared to have agreed a slamming Instagram for pushing more video content rather than pictures. CEO Adam Moseri responded on Twitter saying the changes are designed to improve the user experience. I do believe that more and more of Instagram is going to become video over time. We see this even if we change nothing. Moseri said the changes will help people discover new content, but he said users can turn off recommendations for one month if they don't like what's in their feed. Yeah, that's right people. You thought Instagram was for pictures of your friends. Well, that's over. Yeah, you were always bitching about brunch picks. Now you're going to be begging tha tha tha thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to be thi to be to be to be to be thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to theeeea. thean. thi. thean. theean. thean. thean. thean. thea. thea. thi. thi. that's over. Yeah. You were always bitching about brunch picks. Now you're going to be begging to see them. You'd be like, please, was it eggs?

Was it avocado toast? I just want to know what my friends were eating. Too bad! You ain't never going to see your friends again. And it really sucks, man. It sucks, because we choose who to follow for a reason. Now they're just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just gonna switch it on us. You can't do that. You know? Like the 12 disciples were followers of Jesus.

They chose Jesus. Can you imagine if one day someone was just like, today's sermon will be delivered by Jarul? I'd be like, no, wait, wait, I want to hear from Jesus. No, no, trust us. this will be better to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from to hear from trust us this will be better take it away Jarool I shall always be there when thou calls that shall always be on time and gave you my laws even worse it seems like Instagram wants to get into the algorithm game and that's what I'm worried about because it's gonna change everything because you see the thing is algorithms they are only about engagement all right they only feed you things thin the the the the th th you th you th you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they they they te te te te te teoooooooooe teooooes te teoooe their their their their their their their the'm worried about because it's going to change everything. Because you see the thing is algorithms, they are only about engagement. They only feed you things that make you angry, make you sad, make you horny.

And the problem with that is that it all happens within a few posts so it's an emotional rollercoaster. You know, it's just like, oh I'm so mad about this random racist event and I'm sad about all the poverty and God damn that ass is fine. But that ass voted for Trump! Ah! Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter.com.

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It's been said that nice guys finish last. But is that really true? I'm Tim Harford, host of the Cautionary Tales podcast, and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. podcast and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. We'll travel from New York to Tahiti to India on a quest to learn how to succeed without being a jerk. We'll examine stories of villains undone by their villainy and monstrous self-deviring egos,

and we'll delve into the extraordinary villainy and monstrous self-deviring egos and will delve into the extraordinary power of decency. We'll face mutiny on the vast Pacific Ocean, blaze a trail with a pioneering skyscraper and dare to confront a formidable empire. The art of fairness on cautionary tales. Listen on the I-Heart radio app Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Ah! Vladimir Putin has announced that he will unblock Ukraine's ports, and is good news. But I trust Putin's deals as much as I would trust Elon Muskro on my wife, so we'll see how that goes.

Also, W.W.E. founder, Vince McMahon, thanks to retire, But I trust Putin's deals as much as I would trust Elon Musk around my wife, so we'll see how that goes. Also, W.W.E. founder, Vince McMahon, has been forced to retire after it came out that he may have paid up up to 15 million dollars to hush up sexual misconduct allegations over the last 20 years. Yeah, and you know something's over the line when pro wrestling catches it, because those refs never see anything, you know? In celebrity news, Drake is under fire for posting a picture of a random woman that he saw at a restaurant to his Instagram saying that he tried to airdrop the picture to her so she could see how hot she looked. Yeah. And while it's not like the worst thing in the world, I think we can all agree it's a little creepy, you know? In fact, there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a thi thi's a thi's a little thi, thi, thi, thi's not, thi, thi, thi, th-a' th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin. thin. thin. thin. thin, thin. thin. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's world, I think we can all agree, it's a little creepy. In fact, there's punishment, Drake should have to ride the subway and then let all the creeps e'drop their dick picks to him, you know? We'll be like, ah, shit, why does it look like a cauliflower?

And of course, the most exciting thing that happened over the weekend, we got the first trailer for amazing and it was so black. What? Yo, black people were celebrating that trailer the same way white people celebrate when Trader Joe's drops a brand new frozen meal. So like pumpkin ravioli, what? All right, but let's get into the big news of the day. Starting with the major announcement from the World Health Organization.

And yes, you already know the news is going to be bad. Because the World Health Organization, they never call us to say, hey guys, we just want to let you know the world is healthy, everything's fine. No. They only pop up to say shit like this. With cases rapidly on the rise, this morning the World Health Organization is sounding the alarm on monkeypox, declaring the virus a global health emergency. Across the country, the numbers are steadily rising. Less than two weeks ago, the CDC listed just over 1,400 confirmed cases nationwide. Now that number has nearly doubled with cases in all but five states.

The nation's epicenter, New York, where nearly 900 people have been infected. The last time the World Health Organization made this designation was January of 2020 in response to COVID-19. Why? Why? Why?

Another global health emergency? No! We just got done with ignoring this pandemic. I don't know if I can handle another one. My heart can't take this. And also, why is New York the epicenter again? Haven't we been through enough? Hurricane Sandy, coronavirus, the Nix?

No, I'm joking, I'm joking, Sandy wasn't a complete disaster. Seriously, people. And what is it about New York? Why do diseases love it? You know, what is it about this place? Outside of the rats and the cockroaches and the subways full of feces and pals on the sidewalk. Outside of all of that, why do diseases, why do diseases love New York? Now the good news and the big difference between Monkey Pocks and COVID is so far,

Monkey Pocks doesn't seem as dangerous, so far. We still got to take it seriously. But for most people it gives you some painful boils for like a few days and then it's gone. Yeah, and after COVID, I'm not going to lie, that doesn't phase me. Yeah, yeah, because it's like, is it going to kill a million people and shut down the planet? No? Well, then I'm taking these boils to the club, baby. Aye.

Aye. Aye. Now, you may have noticed that online or somewhere else, people are saying that monkeypox is a gay disease. Please understand that that is not true. Yes, gay men who are that that that that that that thue thue thue thue thue thue thue thue thue thue thuethat is not true. All right? Yes, gay men who are very sexually active are at higher risk of getting the disease because it's transmitted through touch,

but it is not a gay disease, okay? Anyone can get it. So while we should make sure the gay communities get the support that they need, we also shouldn't stigmatize them and make it seem like monkeypox a Chinese person's disease. The same way AIDS wasn't an African person's disease, all right? No matter where a disease starts, if you don't stop it out,

it could spread out to the larger population. It's how diseases work. You know, some disease might start in a fret house, but if you don't stop it, one day your granny could be on the phone with you, like, I don't have much longer, sweetie. The doctors say I've got f-boy fever. It's really bad. So let's not blame any one group of people here for Monkey Pox. The ones we should be blaming are the monkeys. Yeah, don't forget all these diseases come from monkeys and it's not a mistake, they're trying to kill us. Yeah, because you see, remember, we used to roll with the monkeys.

And then what do we do? We secretly went away, we got clothes and computers, and we left our monkey brothers behind. Yeah. Then they're like, all right, screw you guys. You said you were going to the shop to buy cigarettes, But even though it's an emergency, let's not get too stressed out, all right, about something that may or may not become a worldwide disaster, because we've already got a worldwide disaster to focus on, it's called climate change.

Yeah, it's the reason everyone was sweating so much this weekend they managed to make weight for the big fight. But I'm an accountant you made wait, get in there, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, champ, was sweating so much this weekend. They managed to make weight for the big fight. But I'm an accountant you made wait. Get in there, champ. Last week we saw how the heat was affecting Europe, right? Temperatures were hitting record highs, wildfires were in multiple countries, and now the US is experiencing the same thing. Many cities are seeing record breaking temperatures, meters, hitting triple digits in areas throughout the north east and that could be the case the rest of the week as well. That's right at least four cities set new

marks including Boston, Newark. In California the oak fire has burned at least 10 structures. These newlyweds coming back to their home to find it reduced to ash. Many wondering if they'll even have a home to come back to. Wild fire fire sending residents fleeing in the west. home to come back to. Wildfire sending residents fleeing in the West. Emergency crews in Yosemite National Park working day and night in the ground and in the air, trying to contain the more than 15,000 acre oak fire.

This is the not so mighty Rio Grande near Albuquerque, New Mexico. High temps and extreme drought have caused water levels to their lowest point in about 40 years. These new satellite images showing just how much water Lake Meade has lost to a massive drought. Its water levels are at their lowest point since 1937. That is just after the lake was created by the Hoover Dam. Yeah, it looks like the world is on fire and soon all of our drinking water will be gone. So jokes on you, monkey pox. Yeah, you can't kill us if we're

killing ourselves first, bitch. Humans, humans, humans, humans, humans, humans, humans. Yeah, we're all going to die. But once again we're being reminded, if humanity doesn't get our act together. Soon, Mother Nature's going gonna handle this problem herself. The thunderstorms are gonna become more thundery. The droughts are gonna be more drowdy. Planet's gonna be so hot, Drake is gonna a drop it a picture of itself. I mean, did you guys feel how hot it was this weekend? Did you feel it?

Shit was no joke. My sweat was sweating. For a second, I my Uber made a mistake and dropped me off in hell. I said 14 streets! It was so hot. I was just walking into random stores, just like to steal their air conditioning. I'm not gonna lie. And when I say every store, I mean every store. Even stores I had zero business being inside. And the worst thing is, you know when you do that, you have to act act, like to act, like, to act, to act, to act, to act, to act, to act, to act, to act, to act, to act, to act, to act, to act, to act, to act, to act, to act, to act, to act, to act, th. th. thi, to act, thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. to, to, th. And, the their, their, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, to, th. And, to, th. And, to, to to to th. And, to th. And, thi, to to thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooooooooooooooomeree, tooomeree, tooomorrow, toe, toe, the the the the, that you have to act like you actually want to buy something, even when you don't. So, um, you guys, uh, you don't do custom eye holes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, well, you know what, uh, I'm, I'm gonna do the-uh, you don't do, uh, you don't do, you don't do. I'm gonna come back, uh, I'm just gonna go to to Siforraq. So, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, so, so, uh, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, you, you, so, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, so, uh, so, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you don't, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you don't, you don't, you don't, uh, you don because I need to get some of whatever they sell and yeah, I'll be back. I'll be back. What was your name again? What was your name again? Wizarre? All right. Thank you. Thank you. No, I'll be back. I'll be back. Yeah, I'll be back. Yeah, I'll definitely come back. I did not go back. I did not go back. I did not try to to save some of our stress for another existential threat, the robot apocalypse. And Russia a supremely bad move at the Moscow chess open. A chess plane robot apparently malfunctioned and broke its young opponent's finger. We see the robot taking one of the boys pieces but when he makes a move quickly the robot grabbed his finger hard enough to break it.

Officials say the seven-year-old didn't wait long enough before that next move, but he was back playing the next day. So, so that robot tried to kill that child, and everyone just went back the next day, like nothing happened. Also who is programming a chess robot with enough strength to break a human hand? This is chess, not UFC? This is rook to choke hold, witch. I actually would watch more chess if those chokeholds are not going to lie.

But this is how it starts, people. Siri stops listening to you. A chess robot breaks a seven-year-old's finger. Next thing you know, your rumba is sneaking up behind you with a knife. Prepare to die, humans, prepare to die. Where are you humans? Prepare to die. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with a thapapapapapapapapap Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter.com. Slip Recruiters' smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, Zip Recruiters' powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it. And you can use Zip Recruiters' pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack.

Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address.ziprecruiter.com slash zip. Again that's zip recruiter.com slash zip. Zip recruiter the smartest way to hire. It's been said that nice guys finish last but is that really true? I'm Tim Harford host of the Cautionary Tales podcast and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. We'll travel from New York to Tahiti to India on a quest to learn how to succeed without being a jerk.

We'll examine stories of villains undone by their villainy, and monstrous self-devaring egos, and will delve into the extraordinary power of decency. We'll face mutiny on the vast Pacific Ocean, blaze a trail with a pioneering skyscraper, and dare to confront a formidable empire. The art of fairness on cautionary tales. Listen on the I-He Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Jeopardy has finally chosen its permanent hosts.

And no, it's not Steve Harvey, he's too busy doing every other game show. It's actually gonna be Mayam Bialick and Ken Jennings. Yeah. That's really, really great for them. Congratulations to Miami and Ken. Or as your grandfather calls them, not Alex Trebek and Lady, not Alex Trebek. In sports news, the NFL has announced that they're launching their own streaming service, which is fantastic, because I'm not about theirnk, theirn, theirn, theirininininininininininin are launching their own streaming service, which is fantastic. Because I don't know about you guys, but we just don't have enough of them right now,

you know? And this app is apparently going to have all of the preseason games, which is kind of like paying to watch the story part in porn. But I guess that's what some people like. So this is going to be good. In politics news, Mike Pence says he's being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being thiedededededededed, he thired, he's being being thired, he's being thired, he's being thired, he's being thired, he's being threed, he's being threed, he's being thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the, the, the, the, the, the, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the, the. the. the. thean. thean. the the the toed. the the the the the the the the the the the no longer vice president and that he had to recently wait 25 minutes for a table at Olive Garden. Yeah, which sucks, yes, but on the upside, Trump supporters aren't trying to kill him anymore. So I mean, huh? Frozen cons. I will say, it is a little wild to me that Mike Pence even goes to Olive Garden.

Like I think it's dangerous to eat an olive garden when you look so much like a breadstick. You're just someone like, oh sorry, sorry, sorry. And of course, of course, I'm sure you've all heard the sad news after nearly 40 years, Klondike is discontinuing the Choco Taco. Yeah, it's not me, it's not me, it's them. I know it's outrageous. The Choco Taco is the perfect American fusion of cultures. Right?

It's Mexican and sugar. And how are you gonna get rid of the Choco Taco before getting rid of the popsicle? Huh? Nobody likes those. This is Dildo's that give you brain freeze. Come on. But anyway, let's move on to some of the bigger news stories of the day. And we're going to start off with the Catholic Church, the world's number one manufacturer of atheists. The Catholic Church has made many, many positive contributions to society,

in the fields of art and science and philosophy. And if it wasn't for them, we wouldn't have come up with the smoke machines in the club, you know? But the church has also done some bad things over the last, say, 2,000 years. Which is why, in a really positive development, Pope Francis is seeking absolution for the church's sins. On his first full day in Canada, Pope Francis delivered a historic apology for the, quote, evil committed by so many Christians

against indigenous people. At the site of a former residential school in the Canadian city of Masquichees, Pope Francis was greeted with sacred drumming and dance. Rituals, the church once sought to erase for around a century. More than 150,000 native children were taken from their........... their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, their, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. to, to, thi, the the the, thi, thi, their, th. th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the the the the th. th. thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, thean, toean, toean, toean, toean, tr tr tr trueea. tr trueea. toevoevoe, thevoe, the the. the the. th to erase for around a century. More than 150,000 native children were taken from their families to attend government-funded residential schools. Most of them, run by the Catholic Church. They faced rampant neglect, physical, and sexual abuse while being forced to assimilate. It was here, the Pope issued a historic apology.

I am here, because the first step of my penitential pilgrimage among you is that of again asking forgiveness. Man, you know what, say what you want? I love this Pope. I really do. Yeah, because ever since he's come into office, or into power, or ever since he's gotten the gig, what do they even say? Whatever it is, he's done a really good job of trying to write the Catholic Church's wrongs.

You know, he's reached out to other faiths. He said gay people can get into heaven, and don't forget he added a pop and lock to the sign of the cross. You know, he's just like, oh me no no no bero. On top of that, he's apologizing to indigenous people in Canada for the role the Catholic Church played in trying to erase their culture. I'm glad he's doing that. It also must have been a shock to Canadians, you know?

Someone coming and apologizing to them? You must be like, I'm sorry? It's like, no, I'm sorry. Oh, sorry! And you know, beyond the Pope, yeah, the Pope is great in all of this. But you know who the heroes of the story are? The indigenous people, yeah, for not just speaking to the Pope, but for forgiving him, even letting him wear their traditional headdress.

That was amazing. It was gracious, you know? Unless they were just setting him up for a trap. You know? It's like, we let bygones be bygones, please accept this headdress, snap photo, and you're canceled, mother-ft-up! Got you, cultural appropriation. They didn't do that, but it would have been funny. Now, apparently, in addition to the apology, the church has also agreed to pay a settlement for what they did, which I think is fantastic, especially on

the tribe for actually insisting on it. You know, because so many people's lives have been destroyed and a generation was thrust into poverty. So sorry is nice, but money goes a long way. In fact, you know what, they should put, I'm sorry in the caption of the Venmoor payment. That's what they should do. And not just the church church church church church church church church church church church church church church church church church church church church church the church this ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch-a, I this is this is this is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, I, I th. I'm, I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I the. I'm the. the. I'm so the. I'm do. And not just the church, not just the church. I think this should be for everyone. All those governments around the world, you know, who've stolen land from people.

Like in Africa we've seen this all the time. England is always like, we're so sorry, we've pillaged and plundered your country of all your natural resources. And Africans are like, okay, but they're already in the crown, yeah. Oh, we can't take it out, we can't. A crown without jewels, that's just a hat, oh, yeah. So I'm glad, do something about it. Oh, and speaking of people who are going to need to apologize for a lot in the future,

Vladimir Putin, back in the news, I guess he's never left. Ever since he decided to inherit Eastern Ukraine. Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, the West, the West, the West, the West, thuuiuiuiuiuiuiuiui, th, th, th, thi, thiui, thi, thiolioli, and thi, thi, and thi, thi, thioliolioliolomea, thiol-a, thiolomea, thiolome, thiol, thiol, thiol, thi, thi, oh, oh, thi, thi, oh, thi, and thi, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and it, and it, and it, and it's, and it's, and it's thi, and it's thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii he decided to inherit Eastern Ukraine, Russia, and the rest of the West really, have been going through the 21st century's most savage breakup. There's been threats, there's been sanctions. And just today, Russia rarely escalates attentions by making big cuts to the amount of gas that it will send through its pipelines to Europe.

Yeah. Now, they're saying that this is because of mechanical issues. Yeah, but I'm sure this is mechanical issues the same way someone breaks up with you because you deserve better. Just be honest and say you can't see a future with someone who wears crocks to nice restaurants, Debbie! Justin Beaver wears them now. Anyway, on top of all of that, Russia has decided to extend to to to to to to to to this this this this this this this this this this this this this, Debbie. Justin Bieber wears them now. Anyway, on top of all of that, Russia has decided to extend this beef into space. This just into CNN, Russia says this morning that it is preparing to pull out of the

International Space Station. That's a big deal. Space Agency official told Vladimir Putin it will leave the ISS quote after 2024. This withdrawal would be a major blow to the ISS which has served as a model for international cooperation for decades. Russia says it will start building its own orbiting outpost instead. Wow, Russia is officially pulling out of the international space station, which nobody asked them to do. We said pull out of Ukraine, not the space station.

This is a Google translate issue, what's going on here? And you might not realize this, but this is actually bad news, because Russia helps to operate the space station. Which I didn't know about. No, what I mean, like, I don't know about you, but am I the only one who's shocked by how many things are connected to Russia in the world? All right? Like the world's energy supply, Africa's food supply, space travel minerals for our electronics? Soon we're going to find out that Russia provides the sound for sneezes and without them we can't complete the action. Huh? Huh? No chew for you. No chew for you. And by the way, I don't know why they call it an international space station. It doesn't seem very international.

It's basically just Russians and Americans up there. They're like 200 other countries in the world. It's not an international space station. Like, how come there are no African countries up there? Why? Because we start playing soccer and accidentally kick the ball through the window and everyone will get sucked into space? I mean that's a fair point but still why? So yeah, the Russians are leaving the space station and although they think this is pretty cool, good luck to them making a dramatic exit when there's zero gravity. And so, you better remember, don't mess with Vladimir Putin unless you want to feel

the full force of Madurocia. That's right, you cannot mess with us, ha! Okay, can somebody push me toward door? Push me, just push me toward, I can, I want to make a dramatic exit. This, okay, this is not exit I was hoping for. I'm just floating around like idiot right now. Just, okay, imagine you're crying and I'm gone, bitch. Imagine, imagine, imagine the pain.

Back when Joe Biden was elected, one of his biggest promises was the build-back better bill, a plan that promised to make everything in America better. That's why the better was in the name. Yeah, it was going to rebuild the roads, fix the climates, reduce inequality, and it was even going to give you another shot with your high school crush. Like this time I won't eat prunes before assembly. Now, all of that depended on getting every Democrats' vote in the Senate. But there was always one senator who refused to play ball.

Joe Manchin, West Virginia senator and man who definitely has a photo on the fridge of him holding a fish. No matter what the Democrats offered him, Joe Mancion was blocking all attempts. Like like like like like like like like like like like like the the the the the the the thapapap like thap like the the thapapapapap like thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thiol-mue. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. Now. Now. Now. Now. to to to. to to to to. to to to to to. to to to to to th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the all attempts, like an appellation with tombo. No, no y'all. And so it seemed that Joe Biden's agenda, very much like Joe Biden himself, was basically dead. But then last night, this happened. New tonight, Democratic Senators Joe Manchin and Chuck Schumer announcing a deal on a bill

that was all but dead. You almost never see Washington surprised like it is this morning, this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this thioli dead. You almost never see this in Washington. You never see Washington surprised like it is this morning. Democratic Senator Joe Manchin announced he has struck a deal with Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. This is a major piece of legislation that they say would pay down the national debt, cut health care costs, fight climate change and battle inflation. It is the product of secret negotiations

over a package that until yesterday appeared to be dead. Two weeks after walking away from a climate deal, West Virginia Democrat Joe Manchin embraced one last night, with a compromise dubbed the Inflation Reduction Act of 2022. I can't believe it. Joe Manchin agreed to vote for a bill, which means Democrats might actually get something done. Oh, oh, oh, come on. Am I dreaming? And if so, what a boring dream? And also, what a week for Joe Biden, huh?

First he defeated COVID, then he defeated low expectations. Look at you, Joe! Look at you! But yeah, in a surprise announcement, Joe Manchin released a statement saying that he is on board with build back better, except he's calling it the Inflation Reduction Act. Yeah. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone cares what it's th is th is th is th is th is thua tha tha tha tha tha tha tha that is that is that is that is that is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thioliolioliolioli. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the inflation reduction act. Yeah. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone cares what it's called as long as it's a good bill.

You know, he can call it the everyone's, except Joe Manchon's got a small dick act and I don't care. I'll just be like, well, at least my dick's gonna see a better climate. But I think, I think this has taught us all an important lesson. Everyone was so mad at Joe Mansion, calling him names, letting their anger take over, writing him off as a villain. And it worked. Nice job, everyone. Nice work.

Yeah? Now, just to be clear, just to be clear, this bill isn't everything that Joe Biden once wanted, but it's still a pretty big deal, right? It lowers prescription drug prices. It forces big corporations to pay the taxes that they owe. But maybe, but maybe the most important part of the bill is what it does to fight climate change. This would be the largest U.S. climate change ever. The centerpiece, 370 billion dollars worth of clean

energy tax incentives and grants including $7,500 tax credits for many Americans who buy electric cars. It's going to try to reduce carbon emissions by 40% by 2030. This was something that many Senate Democrats simply did not think would be included in any sort of legislation they could get through. But it's not all green energy. In a win for Joe Manchin, the bill also opens millions of acres of public land for new oil and gas production. Yeah, that's right.

Tons of money to fight climate change, but also some fossil fuel stuff too. Just to keep Mother Nature on her toes. But overall, overall, this is a huge investment in alternative forms of energy. Wind, solar, and they're even going to be researching new forms of energy. Nobody knows what it could be. Yeah, in 10 years we could be charging our phones with the power of dance. Yeah, yeah, ah, ah, that's right. Yeah, 7% keep going. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got this.

I got this. 10%. I'm going to, you know what's funny is, is that if that does happen, some white people are going to be uncharging their phones? I'm thinking what's like, what's happening? What's happening? What's happening? Why am I losing power?

What's going on? What's happening? But hey, this is a huge win for the Democrats and now obviously obviously obviously please remember this is the Democratic Party so there is still plenty of ways for this thing to fall apart you know yeah house Democrats could come out against it Kirsten Cinema could come out against it Joe Mansion could come out tomorrow and oppose the bill just out of habit but if it does get through this could be the legislative victory that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to be. I I to be. I to be. I to be. I I to be. I I to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. I I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the the the the th. th. the. the. the. the. the the the the.e.e. the.e. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. the. the the the the the the bill just out of habit. But if it does get through, this could be the legislative victory that the Democrats need to ride into the midterms and only lose the House by 200 seats. I believe in you, Democrats! Before we go, please consider supporting respectability. An

organization that works to create systemic change in how society views and values people with disabilities. If you want to help them lobby for better policies and train organizations to empower people with disabilities, then please donate at the link below. Watch the Daily Show, Weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast. Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last. I'm Tim Harford, host of the Cautionary Tales podcast, and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. From New York to Tahiti will examine villains undone by their villainy. Monstrous, self-devaring egos and accounts of the extraordinary power of

decency. Listen on the IHart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.