The Daily Show: Ears Edition - This Week's Top Stories - TIME's Person of the Year, California's Sneaky Gun Law & More

Episode Date: December 18, 2021

Elon Musk becomes TIME Magazine's 2021 Person of the Year, California governor Gavin Newsom proposes a novel way to ban assault weapons, a Formula 1 race ends in controversy, and more. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Every year, since 1927, Time Magazine has awarded Person of the Year to the world's most influential newsmaker. It is by far the most incredible honor that most incredible honor that most people find out about in a dentist's office. And this year, the lucky winner is a guy who already pretty much won life. We are breaking news. Tesla's CEO, Elon Musk, is now Time Magazine's person of the year. Time Magazine said he is different from any other CEO, constantly

interacting with Twitter users while running one of the most valuable companies in the world. Elon Musk can also influence the markets with just one tweet. Time Magazine also recognized Musk's other ventures like SpaceX. Musk is the richest man in the world, thanks to Tesla, which has increased in value eight-fold since the beginning of the pandemic. Yay! Congratulations, Elon Musk! Oh man, I'm so happy for him. Like the guy could really use an ego boost, you know? And honestly, you can't argue with this.

I mean, richest man in the world, who also controls space, crypto, and electric cars? Ha! I mean, who would even be second place? Like, maybe? Maybe. My only question is this, though, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thus, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, I tho, I tho, I thu. I that's that's that's that, I that, I I I I I I I I that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that even be second place? Like, maybe Pete Davidson? Maybe? My only question is this, though. Why is that person of the year always goes to the weirdest persons?

Like, have you noticed that? Like, I sometimes wonder, if aliens came down, I don't know if I want these guys representing our race. You know, the aliens would be like, your species needs to be exterminated. Except for that guy, he seems normal, totally normal. I think it's just because his name is Elon that we think he's all futuristic. You know, a lot of futuristic things, Elon, iPad, Xbox, e-cigarette, A-rod. You know? If his name was Leon, would you buy a car from Leon, Trevor?

Leon Musk? It wouldn't be the same. No, Leon must does not carry the same worth. Stop talking about the blockchain, Leon. You know what I mean? I hear you. So I, Leon feels like a kind of a deadbeat name, whereas Elon's a disruptor, so I'm not on board. So you you you you you you you you you you you you you th so you th so you th so you th so you th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, tho-a, tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi the toooooooooo toe too too toe too too too too too toooo toooooooooooooooo'm not on board. So you don't think he deserves it at all. I think we're all being duped by some good naming. I feel

you there you know Tesla that's a good name as well right if it was called Elsa you see we just let it go we let it go I'll be here a week folks. All right let's move on to our next story which is from California America's side boob. California is one of the most th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the most th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. the the the the the the the the the to to to to to the to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the's move on to our next story, which is from California. America's sideboob. California is one of the most anti-gun states in the country, which is a frustrating position to be in these days, especially when conservative courts are striking down any effort at gun control. But now, the governor of California has come up with a new plan to limit guns, and where he got the idea from is pretty hilarious.

California Governor Gavin Newsom says he wants to use the new restrictive abortion law in Texas as a model to ban assault weapons. Newsom tweeted he wants legislation that allows Californians to sue anyone who makes, distributes or sells the guns as well as ghost gun kits. The governor cites sites Supreme Court rulings that have allowed the Texas law to remain in effect while the high court reviews it. That's right. Gavin Newsom now wants to pull at Texas, except he's going to do it on assault weapons and ghost guns, which if you ask me is a pretty risky move. I mean, you're going to want those ghost guns when that giant marshmallow man shows up. I don't think that's what a ghost gun is. I think it is Costa is, Costa is, Costa is, Costa, Costa, Costa, Costa, Costa, Costa, Costa, Costa, Costa, to. I th. I th. I th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. thi, the the thi, thi, tho, tho, th. th. the the th. the, the the the the the, the the, the, the the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. te. toge. toge. te. te. toge, te. toge, te. te. te. toge, the. the. the. te, shows up. I don't think that's what a ghost gun is. I think it is, Costa. I read.

But yeah, the idea is that because the Supreme Court is allowing this for banning abortion, they're going to have to allow it for banning guns too. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. The problem with this way, you know? The Supreme Court is like that annoying kid that your mom made you have playdates with. Tag, I got ya! Nah, I have a vest that makes me invincible. Man, I wish the court's allowed your mom to have an abortion. You know, I'll tell you what, guys, America has gotten so divided right now that at this point, I think maybe, maybe some states should just thage, thage, thage, thage, thage, thage, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, I that, I'm, I'm, I'm, that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, that's, that, that, that, that, that, secede and try and do their own thing.

Like, you know, have they tried that before? Like, what's the worst that could happen? You know? Trevor, I usually try to have something funny to say, but this story is about guns, abortion and an obscure Supreme Court ruling. So you're on your own for this one, so. Wow. I was hoping that I was going that I that I that I that I was that I was that I was that I was th. th. th. thi thi th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. th. to toooooo. to. to. to. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th.. Wow. I was hoping that I was going to turn it to you and you were going to like. I know. And then you just left me.

If anything, I wish the state of New York allowed me the right to sue you for putting me on spot to come up with something funny for that story. But we're not there yet. Well, I mean, it's your job, like you, you, yeah. Before we started this, you said you've got my back and now you're saying. I'm saying it's a tough story, you know, but, but yeah, I mean... Well, that's what we do here. We deal with tough stories. I know, well, you do it better than me, which is why I'm sitting this one out.

But at this point, it seems like I'm all in, because because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, One of the guys who has the most information about Trump's attempts to overthrow the election is his former chief of staff, Mark Meadows. But as of a few weeks ago, he suddenly stopped talking. Lawmakers investigating the January 6th attack on the Capitol have run out of patience with Mark Meadows. Mark Meadows made the decision to cooperate and then he made the decision to uncooperate. And as a result, we're going to have to hold him in to to to to to to hold to hold to hold to hold to hold to cooperate, and then he made the decision to uncooperate. And as a result, we're going to have to hold him in criminal contempt.

The committee says they've got questions about documents Meadows has handed over, which shed light on what the Trump White House knew about the insurrection before it began. The committee is also interested in the weeks leading up to the insurrection and Meadows' involvement in efforts to undermine the election outcome. When presented with the idea of certain states, sending alternate slates of electors to Congress, Meadows responded, I love it.

Mmm, get you a man who loves you the way Mark Meadows loves overthrowing democracy. See that? I love it. To be fair, though, I love it is also what you send when you want the other person to think you actually read through all their texts when you didn't. So maybe it was like that with Mark Meadows? I don't know. The fact is, though, it looks like Mark Meadows was very involved in Trump to overturn the election. He pushed the Justice Department to investigate made-up voter-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-to investigate made-up voter fraud. He tried to block states from certifying their electors. And he even made Trump lick the Oval Office desk to claim dibs.

And it definitely doesn't look good that he stopped cooperating with the investigation. I mean, I do get it, though. He can't be disloyal to Trump, because in Trump world, loyalty is everything. You take care of Trump, and Trump takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes to takes to takes to to to to to to to to to to to to yal to Trump because in Trump world loyalty is everything You take care of Trump and Trump takes care of you Unless you're John Bolton or Jeff Sessions or Rudy Giuliani or Melania or Michael Cohen or anybody else he's ever known It's called loyalty, but before he stopped cooperating Meadows did hand over a lot of documents to the committee. And one thing they discovered were a bunch of franticed text messages

that he got during the Capitol Riots. And some of them, some of them came from Donald Trump's closest advisors. Fox entertainers frantically texted Mark Meadows as the Capitol Riot was happening and urged him to get then President Trump to stop it. In one text exchange Hannity urged Meadows to tell Mr. Trump to quote make a statement and ask people to leave the Capitol. Brian Kilmeade saying please get him Trump on TV destroying everything you have accomplished. Laura Ingram writing, Mark, the president needs to tell the people in the Capitol to go home. This is hurting all of us.

He is destroying his legacy. Oh man, this is so amazing. Yeah, because you realize Fox News has spent the whole year acting like January 6th was nothing. Just nothing. It's just a few, you know, patriots, just having their voices heard. But it turns out that in private, they were freaking out about it. Freaking out! This is like finding out the flight attendant who's been telling you that it's just a little

turbulence, is actually going back into the cockpit like, doesn't anybody know how to fly this thing? We're all going to die! On your left you can see the rocky, Really beautiful. Just please stay in your seat, folks. And I love that they were so concerned that this could ruin Trump's legacy. If he gets somebody killed today, no one will remember that time he told everyone to drink bleach. It's crazy that CNN fired Chris Cuomo because he was caught giving secret advice to a politician, his brother. But now, it turns out that basically everyone at Fox News

was giving secret advice to President Trump and his people. But I mean, I guess that's what makes it okay, yeah? Like if one person at your network has no integrity, that's a problem. If nobody has integrity, that's a company policy. Fox News, we all island. But the best part of this text dump is that it wasn't just Fox hosts who were freaking out about Trump's response to the right. No, there were also texts from President Trump's oldest son and man who never has to worry about chin cancer, Don Jr.

As the violence continued, one of the president's sons texted Mr. Meadows, quote, he's got to condemn this shit ASAP. The Capitol Police tweet is not enough. Donald Trump Jr. texted. Donald Trump Jr. texted again and again, urging action by the president. Quote, we need an oval office address. He has to lead now. It has gone too far and gotten out of hand. Yeah, it appears that Don Jr. himself thought the insurrection had gone too far and had gotten out of hand,

which suggests that he was okay with an insurrection that was a little more in control. Whoa, what's with all this violence? I kind of thought we could overthrow the government in like a cool fun way, like Oceans 11, like we'd sneak in and steal democracy before anyone noticed. And we're all wearing cool suits and George Clooney is like, you guys are cool. And I'd be like, you're cool, George Clooney is like you guys are cool and I'd be like you're cool George Clooney something like that. Now clearly Don Jr.'s texts didn't work which honestly I'm kind of glad

about like because the only thing worse than an insurrection would have been having to thank Don Jr. for stopping an insurrection. Thank you for saving democracy Don Jr. But still seeing Don Jr. desperately trying to get a message to his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his to to to his to his to his to his to desperately trying to get a message to his own father. I mean that tells you a lot about their relationship, right? And those aren't even the only texts that he sent Mark Meadows that day. In fact, a source has provided the Daily Show with additional texts. And I'm going to read them to you right now. Later that day, Don Jr. texted Mark Meadows again, quote,

Hey, man, just wanted to see if you passed those messages to my dad yet. And then quote, actually, it might be easier if you gave me my dad's number so I can text him directly, question mark. Some time passed, and then another text. Let me know about my dad's number. But no rush. I know shit is cray, lull. And finally that night, quote, Come on, man, at least give me his email.

And then three prayer hands emogies. There was no response. Today, Dr. Fauci announced that three doses of the current vaccines offer good enough protection against Omicron that as of now, we don't need any new Omicron specific vaccines. And that, my friends, is great news. You know, it's like finding out that your old charger works with your new phone. And this is actually good news for anti-vaxes. Because that means like your old conspiracy theories will work for Omicron too. Yeah, you don't have to think of new conspiracy theories will work for Omicron too. Yeah, you don't have to think of new conspiracy theories,

because that shit is hard. You're like, ah, this new Omicron vaccine is gonna make your blood gay? Oh, man, this is hard. But just because the current vaccine seem effective, doesn't mean that Omicron isn't turning into a big problem. You see, the CDC says that it could soon lead to a major COVID wave in America. And it looks like when it comes to America's sports leagues, that wave is already here.

Professional sports are being hit hard by a surge in COVID cases. A league source tells CNN the 28 NFL players tested positive yesterday. That's in addition to 37 players testing positive on Monday. The two-day total more than doubles the number of cases in previous two weeks. The NHL postponing his ninth game this season because of multiple players testing positive. And in the NBA, a plethora of players will miss time as a result of being placed in the league's health and safety protocols. 31 players are on the list, according. He'll be out for tonight's game against the Pacers.

In Brooklyn, the Nets, they were nearly forced to cancel their matchup with the Raptors. Seven players in the NBA's health and safety protocols, including superstar James Hardin. They had the league minimum eight players available for this game. Almost nobody on the Brooklyn bench tonight at Barclays Center. Look at that. Oh no, not this shit again, guys. Not this shit again! I mean, you remember what happened last time, right? One week, we were all like, huh, lots of NBA players getting COVID.

And then the next week we're all at home, showering with our Amazon packages. I mean, so many players in the NBA are getting COVID right now that they're going to have to change the logo. In fact, there's so many players who have COVID that I actually feel bad for all the players who don't have it. Because I mean, that's one hell of a way to find out that everyone on the team was hanging out without you. The one thing I don't think they shouldteams barely have any players left, but like, just make them play anyway. I mean, I don't know about you, but I would watch the hell out of a basketball game that was one-on-five.

Can you imagine watching a football team where the quarterback has no one to protect him? What? The Giants already do that? Wow, that doesn't seem safe. In fact, this might might might might might might might th up thup thup thup thuu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus the thus the thus the the up being great for the fans. Because you know how deep down inside, when you're at a game, you always hope, you always hope secretly that the coaches is going to look up into the stands and be like, Hey, we need you to help us win this game.

I mean, that's the real reason people wear jerseys, you know, you've got to be prepared. Well now, everyone is so short on players, that might actually happen. Although knowing how quickly Omercron spreads, it'll probably be like, hey you, come help us win, just get a quick COVID test and he can come in. What? Oh, he's also good Omicron.

Ah, look at you, loser. Yeah, you suck. You got Omicron, and you don't play basketball. I I thua. thn, and thn, and thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thoom, thi. thi. thi. thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toers have to say about this at the barber shop, because you know they're going to go in. Man, NBA players these days are soft. Patrick Ewing would never let Omacron spike proteins penetrate his cellular membranes. Shee. But let's move on from Corona to something else that goes after your body thoooe thii. Back when he was governor, Cuomo took a break from getting people in nursing homes killed to write a book about how brilliantly he was handling the pandemic. And that book made him very, very rich, at least until now.

Former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo is facing new troubles this morning. A state ethics panel rule that Cuomo must now repay $5.1 million that he earned from a book that he wrote during the COVID-19 pandemic. That book was a memoir on the handling of the pandemic. The panel determined Cuomo used state resources and government staffers to help prepare that book even though his lawyer previously said otherwise. The $5 million bill must be repaid by next month, but some of those funds have already been

donated to charity and also added in a trust for his daughters. Oh I mean if the money is in a trust fund for your adult daughters just keep that. But the money to charity? Well he's gonna have to give that back. I actually feel bad for the charities though I mean losing that money right before Christmas. I'm sorry orphans. No presents this year because Governor Cuomo used the office printer. I know. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I mean, I mean, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. I th. Oh, I thi thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi. I thi. I theee thi. I mean, thi thi thi. I mean, thi. I mean, I mean, I mean, I thi. I'm sorry, orphans. No presents this year because Governor Cuomo used the office printer. I know, I know. But yes, Cuomo may have to give back all five million dollars of his book money, which is fine by me. I mean I don't understand why politicians are writing books while they're in office in the first place. You're just kind of flaunting how you got distracted with a side gig.

Honestly, between being governor and writing this book, it's a wonder that he found time to sexually harass anyone at all. You know the bigger issue here for me actually when I think about it? Is like the money shouldn't go back to the government just because he used government resources. No, the thing. If you write a book about a thing that you weren't doing, then you shouldn't get the money for the book because it wasn't real. If we found out that the person who wrote the kama sutra was a virgin, I'd be like, yo, money back, all the money back. You were just no wonder.

No one's legs goes like that. It just made the last few months, we've been talking about how millions of people around the country have been quitting their dead-end jobs to pursue their true passions. Yeah, you might find this hard to believe, but most people's dream job is not being berated by a customer at Applebee's. So, people are quitting to write that screenplay, or start that small that small that small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small their their the write that screenplay or start that small business or whatever their dream is and one enterprising young woman is making headlines for selling something that everyone else gives away for free. Reality star Stephanie Motto of 90-day Fiance has gone viral in a tick-talk

where she claims to have earned over 90,000 dollars selling her farts in a jar for $500 each. Hey guys, today I'm going to be showing you a day in the life of a girl who sells her farts in a jar. So I like to get things rolling with some beans, a protein muffin, sometimes even a yogurt, less sugar is better, some hard boiled eggs. While I wait for those farts to develop, I like to read. I'm very smart. Love to read. And then th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to develop. I like to read I'm very smart love to read and Then after I'm ready to go I go ahead and you know do my work do my job I don't need to show you that guys, but I like to add in little flower petals. I feel like they attach the scent and make it last longer And when I'm finally finished with my jar I like to leave a personalized note finished with my jar, I like to leave a personalized note. Mmm, the smell of success.

America truly is the greatest country in the world. And props to this woman, props to her for making that money. And look, no, this isn't the carbon capture technology we were hoping for. But I guess if everyone did it, we could solve climate change. Yeah, why didn't you think of this Greta? Now look, I know a lot of people will see this story and wonder who the hell is blowing hundreds of dollars on a fart. But I mean, it's no dumber than NFTs. People are dropping millions of dollars on things that don't even exist. At least with a fart jar, you get to keep the jar. So I'm not gonna judge anybody for buying one of these jars.

You are into what you're into. What I will say I am confused about is what you actually do with the fart jar once you have it. Like, do you open the jar right away and just get one hit? Or do you keep it in its packaging forever, like a collectible? Or do you keep it for a few years and then open it on a special occasion? Just like, hey honey, great news. I finally got that promotion. How about we celebrate with a jar of Chateau de Poo? The Omicron wave that we've been waiting for has now hit the US for real.

Hospitals are starting to fill up again. Big companies that were planning to bring workers back to the office in January have postponed until May 2097. And concerts and shows are shutting down. A lot of people are saying that it feels like March 2020 all over again. But people please have some optimism. Things are much better now than they were back then. For one, we have vaccines. Two, we have treatments. And three, no one thinks Zoom happy hours are a good idea. We've learned a lot. But while we are being reminded about

just how serious this pandemic is, there are still some people who are taking it just a little more lightly. A Cape Coral man was spotted on a United Airlines flight masking up, but not with one of these. He actually was wearing underwear on his face. This is Adam Jenny, wearing his statement piece, a bright red thong. I think the best way to illustrate absurdity is with absurdity. Jenny says he's worn underwear as a mask since the beginning of the pandemic. I am banned from Flying United, so so much for the customer is always right. Jenny is comparing himself to civil rights icons. Everything else that has sparked change in this country has started from.

Everyday people. Rosa Parks was nobody famous. She changed the course of history. Rosa Parks, my man, don't be so modest. You're more than Rosa Parks. If anything, you're the Martin Luther King of white dudes comparing themselves to black heroes for no reason. Shit.

You know, for real, sometimes I think conservatives are right. America shouldn't be teaching the history of racism in schools, because then at least white people wouldn't know who to compare themselves to when they get kicked off of airplanes for doing dumb shit. I'm exactly the same as, uh, I can't think of anybody, you know, like maybe I'm just a dumb thumbeduate my behavior. And by the way, can we all agree there's no way this dude just started sniffing thongs during the pandemic. I bet you he's been going around for years like, well, looks like I got kicked out of the dorm because I'm once again the Rosa Parks of my sister's friend's underwear. Yeah, someone's got to do it. But as long as we're talking about civil rights, let's to the the the Luther King Day. Some people are saying America needs to stop celebrating MLK Day next year, but the people

suggesting it might not be who you think. Martin Luther King the third is asking people not to celebrate his father's legacy on MLK Day coming up next month if Congress has not passed new national voting rights protection. They're calling on President Joe Biden and lawmakers to pass two voting rights bills that have installed in Congress. One is aimed at fighting voter suppression and it's restoring the 1965 Voting Rights Act.

The other focused on reforms, making it easier to register to vote. Who, this is hard core, but I get why the King family has to resort to this. I mean, with Republicans blocking the new laws and Joe-m and Kirsten Cinema refusing to end the filibuster so that Democrats can pass it themselves, someone has to think outside of the box. And holding a holiday as a hostage is a great leverage. I mean, it's a brilliant idea. Because I don't care how racist you are. Nobody wants to give up a day off of work. In fact, in, in, in, in, in, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, their, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. their. their. their. their. their, their thiii. to to thi. toe. toe. toe. their their their their their, their, their, their, their, they shouldn't just threaten to take MLK Day. No, you know what they should do? They should threaten to turn MLK Day into a second Valentine's Day. That's a real threat.

Yeah, nobody wants to put their relationship in that much trouble. You forgot Valentine's Day! There's another one? Still, this is a risky strategy. Because you realize Republicans have a way of twisting everything related to MLK. Yeah, tomorrow Ron DeSanctus could come out and be like, the King family is right. We've got to defend Dr. King's dream. That's why from now on all black people in Florida can vote exclusively in their dreams. So no need to show up anymore on Election Day, black people. We did it.

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