The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Trans Military Ban, J6 Pardon Aftermath, Sports War: Super Bowl Swifties | Lil Rel Howery

Episode Date: January 29, 2025

Michael Kosta checks in on the latest Trumpworld news: new press secretary Karoline Leavitt, the banning of trans people in the military, and the aftermath of pardoned Jan. 6 insurrectionists. Troy Iwata sets up an elaborate sting for J6 sex offenders. Plus, Sports War: Kosta and Ronny Chieng on Super Bowl Swifties, Philly celebrations, & NHL nachos. Comedian and actor Lil Rel Howery chats about starring in the new animated film “Dog Man,” how therapy has benefited his life and his comedy, and the “Get Out” tagline that follows him at every T.S.A. checkpoint.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Michael Kostas. We've got so much to talk about tonight. New press secretary who dissed Taylor Swift is going to the Super Bowl and the January Sixers have a new hobby. But first, let's get to the latest news in the Trump administration in another edition of The Second Coming of Donald J. Trump.

["The Second Coming of Donald J. Trump"] ["The Second Coming of Donald J. Trump"] ["The Second Coming of Donald J. Trump"] ["The Second Coming of Donald J. Trump"] ["The Second Coming of Donald J. Trump"] Today was the first press conference for Donald Trump's press secretary, Caroline Levitt. And if you assume she was a pretty white lady with a noticeable cross necklace, you were

right. And of course she was Trump's press secretary during the campaign, but that was all about trashing Joe Biden. Now she's in an elevated position representing the White House, and she's here to talk about what the administration is going gonna do moving forward. When Joe Biden was in the Oval Office or upstairs in the residence sleeping, I'm not so sure. Oh, shit!

Didn't you see that coming, did you, old man, huh? Nailed your sleepy ass. But, seriously, you get one, all right? So, let's move forward. Today, everyone wants to know about the federal spending freeze that Trump's been doing. So what's that about? We've seen the Biden administration spend money like drunken sailors.

Oh, boom! Drunken sailors! Everyone knows they spend so much money. All right. That's two digs at Joe Biden. Get it out of your system. All right. Now I don't want to hear anything else about Joe Biden.

The Biden administration and the Department of Agriculture directed the mass killing of more than 100 million chickens. My God. 100 million chickens? Do you even know how many chickens that is? We've got to bring this man to justice. If you see a man in aviator sunglasses driving a Corvette 15 to 20 miles an hour,

that man is Joe the Chicken Butcher Biden. The police have issued an APB for his arrest and to save time, a silver alert. Now, Biden's going to say he killed those chickens because of bird flu, but that is no excuse, okay? And it's not okay to just kill chickens unless you bread them, you fry them, put them between two pieces of white bread,

put two pickles on top. Mmm, that's lunch. What was I talking about? Let's move on. Let's move on. Because while the press was attending the roast of Joe Biden, Donald Trump was busy getting our military in shape so he can finally fulfill our country's month-old dream

of conquering Greenland. And first, we're going to need to have as many troops as possible. President Trump has signed several executive orders to reshape the military, including directive banning transgender service members. Okay, did I say as many troops? I mean fewer troops, right? You know what they say in the Army? Less is more. Look, maybe they don't say that. I don't know, but that's...

Look, I don't have a problem with transgender soldiers. As someone who pees himself anytime he hears a loud noise, I think we should be grateful to anyone who's willing to put their life on the line so I don't have to. But hey, yeah. Okay. But I'm open-minded about being closed-minded, so what's the issue here? President Trump signed an executive order calling transgender people unfit to serve. One part says being transgender is quote,

not consistent with the humility and selflessness required of a service member. Another says being trans conflicts with quote, an honorable, truthful and disciplined lifestyle, even in one's personal life. Yeah, well, look, you know, it makes sense that the military has to be honorable, truthful, and disciplined.

You know, sure, this is your secretary of defense, but that's all the more reason... That's all the more reason that the rest of them have to have their shit together. It's like how every Beatles album had to be packed with hits to make up for that one song that Ringo wrote about wanting to f*** an octopus or whatever. I gotta say, the military sure has a lot of ethical rules for their mission of killing people. Hey, you wanna blow some guys' head off? You better say please and thank you.

But to be fair, Trump had another argument against trans soldiers as well. They specifically cite readiness with transition surgeries. If you have a transition surgery, the recovery time and the narcotics that you have to be on as part of the process could affect your readiness for up to 12 months. Oh, up to 12 months. Do you know how long our wars last? I think they'll have you back in the game in no time. up to 12 months. Do you know how long our wars last?

I think they'll have you back in the game in no time. Vietnam War, 11 years. Afghanistan War, 20 years. Even our storage wars last 15 seasons. First of all, transgender people make up 0.1% of the military. So, Commander in Chief, you're ruining the lives of people who are dedicated to serving America while doing nothing to affect the larger military. So, Commander-in-Chief, you're ruining the lives of people who are dedicated to serving America while doing nothing to affect the larger military.

I don't see why a transition surgery should affect readiness more than any other surgery. Trump is acting like they're doing transition surgeries on the front lines. Medic! I need a medic over here. We gotta get this guy a labia stat! Also, what do you mean readiness?

Modern war is just telling a drone to drop bombs. Pretty sure it doesn't matter what your sex is to go like this. That's how they drop bombs. But Trump isn't just doing bad things to good people. He's also doing good things to bad people. It's been a week since he pardoned everyone who had a normal tourist visit to the Capitol on January 6th, and I'm sure they're making the most

of their second chance, right? A man pardoned by President Trump for his role in the January 6th riot was shot and killed by an Indiana deputy during a traffic stop. Okay, well, except for that guy. Yeah, I mean, that guy really wasted a presidential pardon. Am I... Look, if guy really wasted a presidential pardon.

Am I... Look, if I ever get a presidential pardon, I'll tell you what I'm not gonna do. I'm not gonna get shot to death. So what exactly happened there? Police say the deputy tried to arrest Matthew Huddle on Sunday, but he resisted and the deputy shot him. Investigators say Huddle had a gun.

Hmm. A routine traffic stop ending in the police shooting a man they claimed had a gun. Ordinarily, this is the kind of thing liberals would cry police brutality. But if it's a January 6th, sir, you know, I've... I have a feeling they're gonna be like, oh, look, we need to back the blue on this one. Yeah.

Liberals are getting so much whiplash trying to decide if this cop is bad or good, Rachel Maddow is gonna be in a neck brace. Laughter. But aside from the ones who are dead, all the rest of the January 6th rioters who Trump released from prison must be so happy right now. Houston authorities are trying to find a man

pardoned by Donald Trump for his role in the January 6th riots. Andrew Take is wanted for a 2016 charge of a solicitation of a minor. OK, well, not that guy also. Stop. But look, any group as large as the January 6th crowd is going to have one sex creep in it. There's probably one in our audience right now. Raise your hand if you're a sex creep in it. You know, there's probably one in our audience right now.

Raise your hand if you're a sex creep. That guy in the plaid shirt, that woman, sir, come on. The point is all the rest of the partners are, they're fine. They're doing fine. A Mint Hill man who pleaded guilty to his involvement in January 6th is possibly facing other charges. Court documents show David Daniel is facing child pornography charges. Wait, wait, wait, what?

I'm starting to worry that the people who broke into the Capitol and took a shit on Nancy Pelosi's desk are not upstanding citizens. You know what? Forget about those two pedophiles. Andrew Kyle Grigsby of Louisville, who was pardoned for spraying Capitol police with bear spray, is currently incarcerated in a Kentucky prison for two counts of child pornography.

Jesus Christ! At this point, it might have been better for them just to stay in prison, you know? At least then, they were heroes. better for them just to stay in prison, you know? At least then they were heroes. Now they're all going to individual prisons for child pornography like, so do you guys have a choir? For more on the fallout of these January 6th pardons,

we turn to Troy Iwata. Troy. Troy. Troy. Troy. Troy. Troy. Troy.

Troy. Troy. Troy. Troy. Troy. Troy. Troy. It seems like a lot of these people who got pardons have other problems with the law. Yes, Michael. I don't want to overgeneralize, but it does seem like 100% of them are sex criminals. That does seem like an overgeneralization. It does, doesn't it? You know, that's like saying all trans people are unfit to serve in the military. It's ridiculous.

Okay, okay. Well, how are the police going to recapture these people who are wanted for sex crimes? Oh, I don't think the police would waste their time on these silly predators. But hey, random, did you know they're certifying Joe Biden as president again right in the Capitol building over there? It would be a shame if any January Sixers stormed in there to stop him from taking power. That looks like a prison.

No, no, no. This is the U.S. Capitol, obviously. And they are about to certify Joe Biden right over there. Just past those heavy barred doors of the Capitol that lock from the outside. Troy, is this an elaborate sting to catch the child predators that did January 6th? Shut the fuck up, Costa. This is a very real thing that's happening. Oh, oh, look, look, there's Mike Pence just walking around

with his neck fully exposed. And oh, no, a whole bus just broke down, and it's full of junior cheerleaders. Will no one help them? Come on, Troy. Troy, they're not gonna buy that. You're right, Michael. The people who thought the election was stolen

can't be tricked. Oh, my God! Nancy Pelosi's desk just walked by, and it's looking clean. It would be a shame if someone reshad on it. Troy, her desk just walked by. It did, alongside Hunter Biden and the whole cast of High School Musical, the musical, the series.

And all of them want to try this Mike's Hard Lemonade? Fine. You better get down here, Patriots, because their parents won't be home until morning. Oh, well, good luck. Troy Iwata, everybody. When we come back, we go to war with sports. So don't go away.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Welcome back to the Daily Show. I think I speak for everyone when I say politics rules but sports rules. For a full recap of the biggest stories in the world of jocks and straps, we turn to sports war. It's time for... Football! Brought to you by Gambler.

Gambler, fiscal responsibility is for Pussy. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! What's up, numbnuts?

I'm Roy Chieng. And I'm Michael, the Raw Dog Costa, and this is Sports War, the show where we are legally not allowed to agree with each other. That's right. So if I say football games should only be played indoors. Then I say every game should be played like that scene in Top Gun. Shirtless, on the beach, and in slow motion. All right.

All right. But let's get to the biggest story in sports right now. We got an NFL Super Bowl rematch for the ages. Philadelphia Eagles versus the Kansas City Chiefs. And that means all of our attention will be on one thing, Taylor Swift. The Kansas City Chiefs are headed to their third straight Super Bowl

after defeating the Buffalo Bills. As the confetti fell, Taylor Swift joined in on the celebration, sharing a kiss with boyfriend Travis Kelsey. Just do a little dance, make a little love. Sports betting sites, they're already coming up with prop bets, like how many times will you see her, what outfit will she have on?

But there's some gutsier ones, like will Travis Kelsey propose? Hell yeah, love is in the air. And I just spent all my heart medication money on it. Now if Travis doesn't go down on one knee, he'll break two hearts. If Travis pops the question, I'm popping bobbles. In fact, I'm doubling down on a pregnancy parlay in November. Uh-oh.

Hey, you don't know a thing about love, Kosta. That's why it's so easy for me to catfish you into thinking I was a busty 25-year-old from Ukraine. Wrong again. I knew it was you the whole time. And I'm in love with you. What we have is real. Besides, I needed something to bet on

since the NFL rigged the game for the Chiefs. Okay, look, the NFL is not rigged for the Chiefs. It comes down to talent, okay? It's like calling this show rigged just because I win every argument, okay? I got the brains of Bill Belichick, and you look like the son of Forrest Gump. Oh.

Well, mama always says Ronny Chieng's a huge piece of shit. Which brings us to our NFL Big Game Bet of the Week. Now, legally, we can't say the name of the big game in a bet or the NFL will sue us, but I can present you my Super Bowl, spelled differently, Bet of the Week. Will the NFL declare the Chiefs winners before the start of the second quarter?

Brought to you by gambling. Gambling. You don't even have to know a shady Italian guy to do it anymore. Now look, the game won't all be about stupid love stories. The Chiefs will be taking on the Eagles, and Philly is already practicing for a victory celebration. Philadelphia's Eagles fans spilled onto the streets celebrating their big win.

This was the scene as tens of thousands packed Broad Street. Philadelphia's mayor, Sherrell Parker, tried to fire up fans. She let a chant, spelling the team's name, Eagles. Let me hear you all say, E-L-G-S-E-S, Eagles! Let's go, birds. Ah! You're out of the spelling bee.

Now step aside and watch an Indian kid crush your dreams. This kind of behavior is exactly why the Eagles don't deserve another championship. Their fans don't even care enough about the team to spell their name right. Even Ronnie can spell Eagles and he can't even speak English. All right. I wish I didn't speak English. My life would be so much better if I couldn't understand you.

All right. This is exactly why I love the Eagles. Even their fans have CTE. The last time the Eagles won the Super Bowl, a fan voluntarily ate horse shit to celebrate, even though no one asked them to do it. Meanwhile, the streets of New York City are filled to the brim with horse shit

because it's been so long since either New York team won a Super Bowl. So please, win already so Cardstock can start licking these streets clean. Which brings us to the Ronnie's Soup or Bowl bed of the week. Which animal's feces can I trick Costa into eating? Brought to you by gambling, gambling.

Own ownership is a burden. All right, stop laughing. Let's move on from the NFL to a story none of you have seen because it's about hockey. The Washington capitals escaped with a 3 to 2 road win over the oilers last night in a game the capitals goalie Logan Thompson might argue should not have been so close that's because Thompson says he was distracted by a tray of nachos

on the ice as he gave up a goal in the 3rd period to among us really the nachos having been tossed onto the rink by a fan, did not interfere with Oilers players as they skated into the capital zone and took the shot from a few feet from the discarded snack. Wow, these athletes have become so soft, they're getting their ass whipped by nachos? Hey, let hockey fans be part of the game and throw

whatever they want on the rink, okay? Popcorn, divorce papers, their most aerodynamic children. Okay, you brought them to a hockey game, you're already a bad father. Man, shut your puck-king mouth, Ronnie, all right? These nachos created a dangerous situation for players who should have been focused on beating the teeth out of each other. Plus, it's really hard to do your job when the stupid annoying piece of trash is in your peripheral vision in that analogy, Ronnie you are the wet

cold trash nachos. The raw dog is killing it tonight. How's that raw dog cost the case so taste it which brings us to our Michael cost is super. I will bet of the night. How many people would mourn if Ronnie slipped and drowned in a vat of nacho cheese? As always, brought to you by Gambling.

Gambling, your mom's ATM pin is probably your birthday. All right, well, that's all the time we have for today. Join us next week when we debate if a tie really is as bad as kissing your sister. Well, I can tell you from personal experience, it's all the time we have for today. Join us next week when we debate if a tie really is as bad as kissing your sister. Well, I can tell you from personal experience, it's not nearly as hot. Oh yeah? How would you know that?

You and them kiss your sister. I kiss your sister. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight is a comedian and actor who stars in the new animated film, Dog Man. Please welcome Lil Rel Howrie. Yes. -♪ We're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the house, we're the everybody for many, many years, but this is a kids film. Yeah. Tell me about knowing they're going to be listening and watching. You change up your strategy at all? All I did was not curse. Same energy, same.

So in that clip, when the police chief is walking around with his hand and doing, are you doing that in the booth? Am I like taking my head off the act? You know, I'm doing you. No, that's weird. No, I don't do that. You can see why I don't book a lot of animation. I send it on my auditions and I'm going like this.

Why did you bring props? It's voiceover. But you were told to bring some crazy extra noises? I mean, that's what any of this stuff, because like, the kids, you got to like be very, very, very, very animated. Yeah. And my kids pick on me because they, so I guess as a dad, I'm usually pretty chill like this. But my kids say I got a performance voice.

And so it's really irritating. Like, dad, you know, around the house, you're like, hey, what's up? But then you're on TV like, hey, I'm Lil Rel, everybody. I'm like, shut up. Are your kids, it doesn't matter what we do, our kids.

Kids are so mean. Yeah, it's unbelievable. I kissed my daughter this morning, she says, get away from me with your poo-poo breath. And little Ro, she's 31 years old. Are your kids proud of Dog Man? Are they older? Thank you. Are they proud of Dog Man, are they older? Uh... Thank you. Thank you.

Are they, are they, are they proud of Dog Man? Do they care? Yeah, they, well, I read the books to them. They're teenagers now, so like, you know, they're always excited about all the projects I do, but they're really excited because, like, the Chief character, once again, my kids are bullies, you know what I mean? So, Chief is a lot like me because I'm always irritated. So my kids love laughing at me being irritated. So when we go to dinner and somebody's messing my order,

and I start making my face, like, here you go. So yeah, I'm a lot like the Chief character because of that. They like when you get mad. They love me being annoyed. It's annoying how much. And then they telling their friends. So I'm like, got these group of teenagers

all laughing at me, waiting on me to be annoyed. Right. Yes, it's really, teenagers are mean. Or like 31-year-olds are that say you have poopy breath. Right, terrible. I can't believe it. You read these, so I was unfamiliar, but I love this movie. It made me laugh.

A lot of little Easter eggs for adults as well in this film. But you read the book to some kids in the Bronx. Yeah, I did. Tell me about that experience and how did they react? We have a couple of pictures of that, I think. So look at you. Yeah, that's pretty great. He can read.

Amazing. Reading. But you know what I'm laughing at? So I just turned 45. Same. Thank you, brother. Nice. So as you can see, I have my glasses off But you know what I'm laughing at, because I just turned 45. Same. Thank you, brother. Nice.

And so as you can see, I have my glasses off, because I'm at the age where anything too close, I can't see it. Because I do have the glasses where you got the near sighted at the top and the far sighted at the bottom. And I was trying to be cool in front of the kids, so I wore the ones that just the one prescription.

And so I was like, dang, I gotta read. Right, it's nothing, I fell off a curb two days ago. I sprained my ankle. Oh yeah, you on crutches. Yeah. I took the book out and I couldn't see it, so I had to take off the, and this crazy, when you gotta explain something about being 45 to seven years old, you don't care?

Right. I was like, oh yeah, you know, cause I gotta take these off because I'm 45 years old and I can't see, I can see, okay, what chapter we on? Yeaholds who don't care. I was like, oh, yeah, you know, because I got to take these off because I'm 45 years old and I can't see. I can see, OK, what chapter are we on? Yeah, they don't care. They didn't care. So you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but I did think about this when I was watching the film,

because Dog Man is half dog, half man. So who does he f***? Does he f*** humans? Does he f*** dogs? And I promise you no other press is gonna ask you this. Oh you guys didn't think, not as nobody thought about it. Right. Why y'all applied this? Because I don't really answer this question now. Oh, you really want to know? It's just a thought. First of all, you sat there with the news anchor face, like, yo, what's the answer, right?

But it's weird, because that's a great, really dark question. And you're a stand-up comic, so you appreciate the f***ing up situation. appreciate yeah cuz I'm like yeah Yeah, I'm scared. Well, I can't say what I want to think because we still do impress for this movie. Yeah But your stand-up you've been doing stand-up specials Yeah, and in this last special well, you've talked openly about how vulnerable you've become in some of your stand-up And you spoke openly about some of the therapy you've tackled. Oh, yeah, I love therapy.

Tell me about it. I love therapy. Give it up for therapy. Yeah. You get therapy, and you get therapy, and you get therapy. Talk to me about the love of therapy, because it's nice to have two men openly

talking about therapy. Yes, it is. There we go. And those are the women that are trying to bring us down. No. You know, it's changed my life in so many ways. I think it's made me a funnier comic because it's not everything from a very dark place anymore.

I'm able to, like, just pretty much talk about anything. But therapy has been so beautiful. Like, I'm at the happiest I've ever been because I've been able to unpack things over time. Yeah. You're a busy guy. Are you doing, is it like phone therapy? Is it Zoom? Are you on set like, and this is the way it made me feel, and that type of thing?

It's a PA knocking, hey, hey, time. I do both, actually. It depends on what my scheduling is, because I do like going in person. It's just in person is always so crazy, because especially if you've been crying a little bit, it's like awkward when you leave. You can tell the therapist wants you to go because it's time, they keep doing this. But you're like this. And so they're like, yeah, so, yeah. Mm. Yeah. Yeah. I get the, I get the Zell request for payment

as I'm like shutting the door behind me. I'm like, oh really? It's that transactional? I have to tell you that whenever my wife and I travel and something happens to one of us at TSA, I had a little pocket knife, and they took it, or the bottle of water. Wait, wait, wait, wait, what?

You brought a pocket knife? Yeah, yeah, I didn't know it was there. I'm always armed. I got a bunch of crazy people. No, I had a little knife I bought upstate New York that I loved, and then I left it in my backpack, and it got taken. That's not the story here.

The story here is that whenever TSA interrupts us, we always say your line from Get Out, which is, they're the T.S. motherfucking A. They handle shit. And I just want to know that you're in my life. You're in my marriage. I mean, that's weird. But you know what?

You know what I mean? I love that film. Tell me a little bit about Get Out, for the Get Out fans and that character and... It's... It's... It's... Yeah. Yeah! You know, I'll say this, especially having a tagline,

it's not too many times you can do a movie where you have... Like, this was my Yippee-kay-ay, mother-fucker. So to have T.S. Motherfucker A is still, like, one of my favorites. But I hate when I do go to the airport, and I always thought I had a favorite after doing the movie. So to have T.S. mother-fucker A is still like one of my favorite. But I hate when I do go to the airport and I always thought I had a favorite after doing the movie like, oh yeah, they're gonna look out for me. And they'll be like, oh yeah, T.S. mother-fucker A, take your shoes off.

Thank you very much for coming. Dog Man will be in the theaters everywhere on January 35th. We'll be right back after this. Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate it. That's our show for tonight. Now here it is, your moment of zen. And now they're resorting to what?

Telling us that Trump supporters can't eat Mexican food? If you voted for Trump, you are not allowed in Mexico. No tacos, no enchiladas, none of that for you. Oh yeah? What are you gonna do? Will you come take it out of my ham? Explore more shows from The Daily Show Podcast Universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central

on Comedy Central. And stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus.