The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Trevor Breaks Down The Consequences of Climate Change You May Not Know About

Episode Date: August 31, 2023

Climate change, wildfires, environmental destruction. Why don’t people care? We’re all familiar with the major effects of climate change, but a hotter Earth creates lots of smaller changes too: more female turtles, worse-tasting coffee, scary space junk and even less sex.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as

podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. Let's talk about wildfires, aka the coronavirus of the forest. As you probably know, the West Coast has been devastated by massive fires burning for weeks. And over the weekend, California saw one of its biggest blazes yet. Those deadly new fires are raging out of control in northern California among the dozens now burning across the state and they exploded in size on Monday. Those fires destroying homes damaging popular wineries. Before

sunrise entire neighborhoods were engulfed in flames devouring an untold number of homes. It was just you know a big red ball of fire right next to us. In the world famous Napa Valley, more than 60 wineries are in the burn zone. An unknown number have already been damaged or destroyed. It covered cars with ash and turned the skies above Sonoma County red as the smoke block the sun. So far this year, California has seen more than 8,000 wildfires, destroying more than 7,000 buildings, scorching nearly 5,800 square miles. That's the size of almost 3 million football fields.

God damn, that is terrible. So many beautiful wineries are being threatened by these wildfires. And remember, there are a lot of people who rely on these wineries. You've got the owners, you've got the employees, you've got the economy of entire towns. And you know who I feel really bad for? America's book clubs, because without wine, they're gonna have to discuss books sober.

I mean, that's just English class. Here's my question, though. How come wildfires never burn ever the the shit the shit the? Huh? Just once I want to turn on the news and hear about a wildfire burning down a pedophile's house, you know, taking out a neo-nazi recruitment center, then passing by a marshmallow factory and roasting everything inside to a nice golden brown. And another reason I hope that these winery is not just because of the the region, throwns, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiol-a thi, thi, thiol-a' thiol-a' thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, ti, thaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, the region, but because it would mean that we would all have to start getting our wine from New Jersey. Hmm, I detect hints of Adidas track suit and Gabagoole. But yes, with yet another wildfire breaking out in California, a record-setting year continues to get even worse for the West Coast.

And the question many people are asking is, why? Why have wildfires gotten so out of control? Well, let's find out why. In another installment of, if you don't know, now you know. So, why have wildfires been so bad in recent years? So, why have wildfires been so bad in recent years? Well, if you immediately said, duh, climate change, then okay, you're mostly right.

It's a disastrous new normal. Catastrophic fires, once contained to one season, now a harrowing year-round battle. Gotta go. A major factor, climate change. In the last 40 years, fall temperatures in California have increased about 2 degrees, while precipitation has dropped about 30 percent. Longer dry seasons and extreme events like heat waves that synchronize the risk of fire

across enormous landscapes. Climate change is increasing the area burned by the average wildfire, more than doubling it since the 1980s. Since 1930. Five of the biggest fires so far out of the burned by the average wildfire, more than doubling it since the 1980s. Since 1930. Five of the biggest fires so far out of the top 10 have been this year. California is America fast forward. In other words, a postcard from the future. Oh man, are you serious?

California is basically a postcard from the future? That means the future is also on fire? I mean, it also means that the post office is still functioning in the future, so I guess, woo, we did it. And that really is mind-blowing. Five of the biggest fires have been this year. Five of the biggest fires have been this year.

That's insane. Although this is 2020, so I'm kind of shocked that all of the biggest fires haven't been from this year. Wildfires might be here to stay, which is awful for humans, but especially bad for trees. Because they can't move. Humans can just run away from a wildfire, but trees, they're just stuck there. Can you imagine how terrifying them must be for them? Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Now, there are a number of ways that climate change makes wildfires bigger and more

frequent. For instance, not only does drier wood and leaves make better fuel for fires, but hot weather is also associated with increasing lightning strikes that ignite them. In fact, even small things about climate change can have a huge ripple effect that ignite them. In fact, even small things about climate change can have a huge ripple effect that leads to fires. And I mean really small things. Millions of drought-stressed trees in California forests were low on sap, which is their natural defense against the bark beetle. These are these little tiny bugs about the size of a grain of rice. Bark beetle infestation is linked to global warming as the weather gets warmer.

They burrow into the bark of pine trees, they kill the pine trees, the pine trees then essentially become sticks of kindling ready to burn. The beetles took down more than 160 million trees, and that's where some of the largest fires are burning today. Yeah, believe it or not people, the spread of the tiny bark beetle is yet another way that climate change is making wildfires worse. It's also a great reminder that even though climate change is really bad for us humans, for some other creatures it's the best thing that ever happened. It's like how the Trump administration

has been a disaster for most people, but great for various reptiles. And I've be honest, I never thought the apocalypse would be caused by such a lame villain. I mean, really, guys, Beatles are gonna be the reason everything's on fire? Come on, man! The last season of Game of Thrones was bad enough when Dinarius was burning everything down with dragons. Now imagine if she had Beatles instead. That shit would make the brand storyline seem exciting. Let's get back to to to to to to to to to to to to to the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the the the the the the the the the the the the the brand storyline seem exciting. Whoa, let's get back to the kid who's like a bird or something. I don't watch these beetles.

So yes, we have to address climate change. But the truth is, climate change isn't the only reason that these fires have been getting worse. There's also at least a century of government stupidity. Controlled fire or prescribed fire is the method of burning certain land to reduce wildfire hazards. This method was developed by Native Americans thousands of years ago. These low-intensity fires called cultural burnings that built much of California's forests.

Without controlled burns, forests would have become overgrown and unmanageable. Overgrown forests create a lot of fuel in the form of dry or dead plants. As European colonization grew in California, native tribes were banned from engaging in cultural burning. And over time, state and federal authorities focused on quickly extinguishing any wildfires. For example, the U.S. Forest Service's infamous 10 a.m. policy said that any fires that occurred must be put out by 10 a.m. the next day. This limit on fires did little to reduce the fuel the fuel the fuel the floor. And even with these policies, California still has fuel loads waiting to be burned from centuries ago, making prescribed burning far more tedious and expensive than previously

thought. Yeah, you heard that right. One thing that would help out a lot is if California had been doing more controlled burns, which is basically when you burn a little to prevent a lot from burning later. It's the same way you meet your college friend for coffee so that you don't have to have a three-hour dinner with them. And you know, you have to admit, it's pretty unbelievable that California is now doing what they outlaw the native people from doing. I guess it's kind of hard though to kick somebody off their land and take their advice at the same time. This is my property now, you savage!

Oh, also before you go, do you have any landscaping tips, like any mulching techniques or things that I have to learn? Now, obviously it's bad enough that wildfires are burning millions and millions of trees. But what makes it an especially big problem for people is that we've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, stuff to burn. Since 1990, 60% of all the homes in the United States have been built in the wildland urban interface. We've got houses and places we didn't used to have houses and that puts people and property at risk. As more houses are built near wildlands, more of them burn. 50 years ago wildfires destroyed a few hundred structures per year across the United States. Now it's more than 3,000. In California alone, more than 6 million houses are in wild areas.

Because urban housing is so expensive, instead of avoiding these high-risk zones, Californians continue to build in a tinder box of grass and trees boxed by Windy Canyon. Instead of Smoky Bear in the middle of the woods, we need a smoky bear in the middle of suburbia. Uh-huh. You do yourself a favor of Smoky Bay and you stay out of the suburbs. We don't want Karen calling the cops on you. Hello, 911. There's a bear in my neighborhood. he's, um, he's brown.

But yes, one big problem is that more and more people are building homes in the middle of the forest. And let's place the blame where it belongs here. With the Keebler Alps. Yeah, these guys made living in the forest look so cool that everyone started doing it. You get to be in a tree making cookies all they sounds great. But guess what? Those cookies are cococococococococococococococococococococoe co co co co co co co co co co co co. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. the. the. the. their their their their their their the. their the. the. the. th. th. th. their th. started doing it. You get to be in a tree making cookies all day. Sounds great, but guess what? Those cookies are covered with beetles. And if we're honest here, guys, one of the bigger issues is human arrogance.

We just think we can build wherever we go. You know? Wherever we build a house, that's our land now. It's the same way people in Florida are always surprised when alligators show up. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the the the the their, their, the their, the the th, th. th. the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, the, the, that's the, that's that's thean, that's thean, that thean, thean, that, thean, that, thean, thean, thigators show up. Oh, there's an alligator in my backyard. No, there's a person in that alligator's house. But the good news is, we can fix these problems. Yeah. Believe it or not, the wildfires don't have to happen the way they have been.

We can stop them if we take action to reduce climate change. We can stop them if we maintain the forests, and we can stop them if we build in environmentally sensitive ways. And as for those Beatles, you leave them to me. We'll be right back. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter's smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly.

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to hire. Hey, everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls. are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient-to-bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcast. Tonight I'm not going to bore you with the effects of climate change that everybody knows about you know like more extreme weather, rising sea levels feeling guilty every time I start a wildfire. What we're going to focus on instead is how all the major effects trickle down into a lot of weird little effects that you may not

know about. And these little weird effects are changing the world in all sorts of ways like the strange thing that's happening to sea turtles. Turtles are so important for the marine ecosystem, helping to keep sea life in balance, but they lay their eggs on the beach and as the world warms up, the sand is warming too, and that is a big problem. Sand temperature determines the sex of the hatchlings. So for the northern Great Barrier Reef green total stock that they've been producing over the last 10 to 20 years, 99% females.

If that trend continues for decades to come, that's an irreversible issue and we'll lead them towards extinction. Ah, people, this is terrible. You can't have all female turtles, the species is going to go extinct. And it's also going to make for some really lame gender reveal parties. Oh wow, it's a girl. And I know what you're thinking right now. You're going, well, at least life is gonna be pretty sweet for all those male turtles, eh? They're gonna be cleaning up on turtle tender.

And yeah, it may seem like a good deal, until they realize that they're gonna be expected to perform all the time. Morning turtle sex. Afternoon, turtle sex. Nighttime, turtle sex. They'll never have any time left to do whatever else turtles do. I don't eat plastic straws, I guess. Is that like a... Oh, they don't do that for themselves?

Oh. But that's the kind of weird effect of climate it that the heat of the sand is what determines the sex of the baby? You know, turtles should just do it like humans. Have the sex of the baby determined by the man screaming, either male or female at the time of conception. It's a lot easier that way. What do you mean? Then how did your parents do it? But then why am I a boy then? You're dumb. And it's not just the the turtlesles. Climate change is messing with the sexiest animals of all. Yeah, humans. And again, I'm talking about unexpected little things.

For instance, if you like to start your day with a cup of coffee, and maybe you like to end it with a couple of beers or a couple of wine. First of all, you might have a problem. But there's news that might leave a bad taste in your mouth. Climate change could make it tougher for you to get a good cup of coffee. Changes in temperature along with rainfall and the length of seasons. Would change the quality and taste of beans, making for a lower quality cup. A changing climate is putting those key ingredients used in beer at risk. More rain versus snow in the winter.

This means irrigation may depend more on groundwater, which has a higher mineral content. And that's a big deal because that affects the beer's taste. An increase of about 1.2 degrees Celsius over the past century has meant wine grapes are maturing earlier, putting the world's most famous wine regions at risk. The largest change that wine drinkers are likely to see is higher alcohol contents in the finished product, and there is much discussion on if this is a good or a bad change. I'm pretty sure it's a bad change. I mean, the real housewives are already fighting each other at current wine levels.

You raise that any higher. That show is going to have to move to UFC. And what's crazier for me is that this is going to make coffee taste worse. That's what they said. That blew my mind because I already think coffee tasks like you burned dog hair and put the ashes in a cup of water. And I know right now, all the coffee drinkers are like, Trevor, you're wrong. Coffee tasks delicious. Bullshit! If that's true, then why is it that every single coffee place has 50 different ways to cover up the taste of coffee, huh? You got creamer in your coffee, you got half and half,

you got vanilla lattes, pumpkin spice, sugar, stevia. The only flavor no one wants is coffee flavor, that shit keeps you up for three days. Not because of the caffeine, because of the taste of regret. I'm never doing that again. And look, people can get used to bad coffee and stronger wine. I mean, we'll just put more oak milk in both of them. But unfortunately, climate change is also doing weird little things to our most core human behaviors, sex and violence. There are so many different things that can dampen your

sex drive. And now here's another one to add to the list. Global warming. Researchers looked at really hot days and then look forward nine months. The impact was pretty sizable. In the United States they found that the impact of one hot day meant 11,100 fewer births nine months later. That could mean 100,000 fewer births every year. Rising temperatures are not the only phenomena on the rise. Our tempers have jumped. We're getting angrier, more aggressive, more violent. Our brains change when it's very hot, our hormones change and people's behavior changes.

You get a really hot night or a really hot day and people just freak out and do crazy things. Researchers say that as temperatures continue to rise the US could see between 20,000 and 50,000 more violent crimes a year. That's right, thanks to climate change. We're looking at a future of no sex and tons of violence. So basically Drake's album cover but nobody is pregnant and everyone is just punching each other. And you know my one hope is that this is the news that finally gets people to take drastic action, because if anything is going to motivate people, it's going to be the end of sex. I mean, if there's one thing that could get humans to jump into action, it would be the prospect of absolutely no sex. Because trust me, the first time we can can can can can can can th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th is th is just the th is just the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the. the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the the the the the trust me the first time we can't have sex because

of the heat people are gonna lose it. I'm just gonna be there like what do you mean my penis is overheating all right shut it down everybody planes cars Bitcoin mining everything until this bad boy gets back up we're going Amish everyone and by the way this increase in violence isn't just a future problem in fact climate change may have already cost America a war. For the past three decades, drought and floods have plagued rural Afghanistan. As a result, farmers have struggled to maintain their crops and livestock, and many people have been left hungry.

Afghanistan of all the countries in the world is ranked six in the list of all the countries hit hardest by climate change. The Taliban has gone to the communities the communities the communities the communities the communities the communities the communities the communities the communities the communities the communities the communities the communities the communities to the communities the communities to the communities the communities the communities the communities the communities the communities the communities the communities the the the the the the tha th. the communities thoa thoaugh thaugh tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tha. tha. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thauuuua. thauiaua. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha in the world is ranked sixth in the list of all the countries hit hardest by climate change. The Taliban has gone to the communities of these farmers and mostly impoverished people in rural Afghanistan and said to them, look around you. You're not getting the support that you need from this government. Come join us.

It's been very crucial to their rise over the past two decades. Yeah, that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th their rise over the past two decades. Yeah, that's right. The Taliban won in Afghanistan because of climate change. And also because America couldn't go a week without joining a school. But mostly climate change. And this really shows how desperate climate change can make people. When your livelihood is destroyed, you will turn to anybody promising relief. I mean, I will say, though, if you gave power to the Taliban because it was too hot, I

think that's a decision that you're going to regret. All right, first thing, men grow beards. Women cover everything except your eyes. Is there an extremist group that believes in short shorts? No? Okay. So, climate change is having unexpected consequences all over the earth. What's most shocking to me is that it's even having effects outside the earth. Climate change also affects objects in space.

As the upper atmosphere gets thinner, thanks to climate change, the amount of drag goes down, and that means satellites stay in orbit longer. But it also means everything up there will stick around longer, like the used upper sections of rockets, which sometimes stay in orbit, or any debris from the occasional satellite collision. As more objects stick around, there is a higher and higher chance that they will collide, putting even more junk in orbit. Right now, there are probably over 3 million kilograms of space junk, vastly outweighing our operational satellites and nearby natural meteorites combined, forming a giant space tornado of death above our heads.

You know, I'm not gonna lie, giant space tornado of death sounds like the coolest way that you could die. No, no, no, wait, wait, I take it back. I take it back. The coolest way to die is still being trampled to death in a stampede of Rianas. That's still number one, easily. But this is pretty crazy. Thanks to climate change, our planet is going to be completely circled in trash. Aliens are going to be flying past the planet like, this looks like a bad neighborhood. Lock the doors. Uh, dad, you're so planetist. You'll understand when you have glarks of your own.

So, that's what we're facing with climate change. A lot of weird little effects that when you add them all together ends up being basically everything. You know, we could be facing a future future thiiiiiiiiii-a future th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like th. to be to be to be th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. to to thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi, to to to thi you add them all together ends up being basically everything. We could be facing a future where your sex-starved husband gets killed by space junk while he's on the way to join the Taliban. And don't forget, please do not forget what it's going to do to our friends, the sea turtles. The female green turtle approaches a potential mate. For the male turtle, this delicate ritual is part of an endless, nightmarish orgy from

which he cannot escape. He will have no peace, no rest, no moment to enjoy a tasty bed of seagrass. Dignity, a distant memory. He is nothing more than a communal reptilian f-stick attached to a shell. Passed around from female to female and expected to slam turtle puss 24-7. He pumps joylessly. Though he is exhausted, his suffering will not end until either his turtle penis, shaped raw by the ocean saltwater, finally fails.

Or a tiger shark delivers him the sweet mercy of death. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcast. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls.

What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient-to-bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.