The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Trump Bribes Americans with $5K "Dividends" & GOP Gets Weird at Midterm Convention | Andrew Garfield

Episode Date: September 11, 2026

Trump’s Republican Midterm Convention flops with low turnout, empty promises, and GOP behavior that is just straight up weird (we’re looking at you, Tim Scott). Michael Kosta dives into the highlights, including Trump’s pledge to give out $5,000 "dividends" if the GOP wins the House and Senate, the president's unhelpful roast of Texas Senate candidate Ken Paxton, and an onstage gavel that is just… too big. Plus, Desi Lydic hypes up the convention to Kosta, and even throws in some hand stuff.   Troy Iwata rounds up the latest international headlines that prove America isn't the only country with problems: British kids line up for a Titanic-themed slide, an Italian man gets busted for peddling a fake ancient theater, and Hitler's birthplace finds new life as a police station, in another edition of So Not Our Problem! Tony Award-winning and Oscar-nominated actor Andrew Garfield sits down with Michael Kosta to discuss his new film, “The Uprising.” They talk about how the peasant uprising of 1381 serves as a “long-distance mirror” to the political landscape of today, how acting serves as an empathy machine even when playing characters like Sam Altman, and what young men can learn from Carlos Alcaraz’s elegant U.S. Open loss. -- The Daily Show airs weeknights at 11/10c on Comedy Central. Stream full episodes on ⁠Paramount+⁠ Follow TDS: ⁠YouTube⁠, ⁠TikTok⁠, ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠Twitter⁠, ⁠Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central is America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Michael Costa. Talk about tonight, Republicans head to Texas for a midweek pep rally. England finds new ways to scare children, and Trump wants to bribe taxpayers with money from the taxpayers. So generous. Also, later in the show, actor Andrew Garfield will be here. Let's check in on the midterm.

in our ongoing coverage of Indecision, 2026, The Midasee. I've heard the words epic. I've heard historic. That's what it is. We're less than two months away from the midterms, which means you've got just under 60 days to find out who your representative is and what Congress does.

Republicans are laser-focused on keeping their majority in Congress. How's it looking? Democrats are leading in most of this November's key U.S. Senate races. The likelihood that Democrats are the Democratic actually flip the house, it is approaching 70%. Republicans are facing many challenges, including high gas prices, and the president's growing unpopularity, with 64% in a new NBC news poll saying they disapprove of his job performance.

Americans are so unforgiving, you know, you lose one war, you blow up one economy, you give people one explosive diarrhea, get over it. At this point, the only people Trump, is polling well with is the company that makes the number five that goes on gas station price boards. Business is through the roof. But seriously, these polls are bad. Bad news for the GOP, which is probably why they're trying something new this year.

Their first ever midterm convention in the country's most exciting city, Dallas. The stakes are high, so Republicans need to go big. Sir, that's not what they meant when they said Trump loves giant knockers. Fun fact, that's a normal size gavel. He's just a very small man. All jokes aside, fellas, remember, it's not the size of the gavel that matters. It's the size of your penis. Once they got the comically large gavel out of the way,

they brought out Senator Tim Scott, who wanted to make his stage time count. Hello, Dallas. This mid-Derm, we face the most dangerous, radical, and frankly, weird, Democrat candidates in American history. Here in Texas, you got James Tala Rico? Whoa, he'll be American.

Here... Does this guy have... He can do preacher on cocaine. He can do wrestler on cocaine. He can do stand-up comedian who's on his normal amount of cocaine. This is a level of energy that can only be described as my

six-year-old two minutes before bedtime every single night. Honey, go to bed. The Lord does now want me to sleep tonight. Gee! And now let's keep this high-octane party going with the always electric Texas Senate candidate Ken Paxton. Your life, Ken.

It's one of the biggest races in the country. You show America what you've got. I will fight to preserve the American dream. James Tolerico is running to destroy it. He is a Democratic socialist who never met a tax increase he didn't love. California already has two senators. It doesn't need a third. Said God is non-binary.

I must have missed that verse in the Bible. Anyone laugh? It's awful. Are they really running this charisma, black hole in one of the most important Senate races in the country? President Trump, you endorse this guy, so you have to sell us on him. He may not dress right,

he may not talk exactly perfectly, and he may not be the best-looking guy I've ever seen. sold. Don't let Donald Trump be your wingman. Hey, my broke, dickless friend across the bar. He thinks you're cute. Also, he smells bad. You want to go home with him?

But you know what? Trump doesn't need Ken Paxson to keep the House in the Senate. He has a secret weapon, and it's called a bribe. Because we've done so well, and because our country is making so much money, if the Republicans win the

House of Representatives and the United States Senate. I will issue a dividend to every adult citizen in the United States of America for $5,000. Holy shit. $5,000. $5,000. That's two trips to the grocery store. Or one if you buy raspberries. I like how Trump calls this a dividend. Do you know when businesses hand out dividends when they're raking in money? The last time I checked, we as a country, have negative $40 trillion of money. America should not be handing out dividends. We should be faking our own death and starting a new life in Thailand.

But look, you do have to acknowledge the political appeal of a promise like this. I mean, we can all think of something we'd love to do with $5,000. Me personally, I would donate it to abandoned children. I feel bad about abandoning them, so it's the least that I could do. How well this will go over with Democrats or deficit hawks, but I'm sure Trump's supporters are extradited. $5,000 promises to all Americans if the Republicans keep the House and Senate.

Not bad. I'm not sure that's okay, but I think it's kind of fun. And you know what? That's what being president's all about having fun. Even Brian Kilmead didn't know what to make of this. I'm not sure that's okay, but I think it sounds kind of fun. He sounds like Trump just asked him to throw rocks off the overpass. But unlike Kilmead, I'm not conflicted at all. I'm excited to get this money. And Trump said we're going to, so it's definitely going to happen.

Now, it has made similar offers before that went nowhere. A $2,000 tariff rebate check and the $5,000 doge dividend. Neither of those ended up happening. Okay. Okay, but you know how sometimes you live on Maple Street, but your mail goes to Maple Drive? Well, maybe that just happened to every single person in America. So, yes, this is just the latest in a cycle of Trump's

behavior with the American people. He promises a huge payout, that never happens. And then he promises an even bigger payout, and then that never happens. And this spiral is exhausting, poisonous, and it makes you question the very health of our democracy. And look, I'm not sure that's okay, but

it is kind of fun. All right, so more on the Republican midterm convention. Let's go live to the convention floor with Desi Lighting. What's the feeling down there? Oh, people are excited, Michael. All day, I heard things like, wow, $5,000. And I'm so pumped for $5,000.

And with Tim Scott on cocaine? Come on, that $5,000 thing is clearly a transparent bribe. I know. Isn't it sweet? Why sweet? Because bribes are Trump's love language. It's his way of showing us that he cares. The bribes are not a love language.

Well, not for you. You're probably into words. of affirmation or hand stuff, but the president is into bribes and hand stuff. The Qatari showed their love by bribing him with a jet. FIFA love bribed him with that trophy, and that's what he's trying to share with us. He's just a boy, standing in front of a voter, offering them $5,000. Let him in, Michael. I will not.

Regardless, we all know he's not going to do this. It would cost America $1.3 trillion. Oh, of course he's not going to do it. And to know what that means, it means Donald Trump just saved us $1.3 trillion. Chi-ching. That's not how math works. Well, that's because it's not math, math.

It's Trump math, which is his version of girl math. You know how when you return a pair of shoes that don't fit, that's free money you can spend on new AirPods? No. Exactly. With Trump math, he puts a $30 billion tariff on China, then cancels it at the last minute, and that gets America $30 billion new dollars.

That's money we can spend on desperately needed health care, or even better, in Arch. We've always wanted an arch. Cha-ching! Stop saying cha-ching. You got it. Chichong. Desi, I'm not following this at all.

Even if he did have all this money coming in, why can't he pay down the deficit or give us universal child care? We don't need child care. The kids can hang out under the arch. Besides, child care will cost like $35 billion. We can't afford that. Yeah, I guess we can't. Which means Trump just saved another $35 billion.

Cha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. This is all irresponsible in an insult to our democracy. It's a desperate ploy by a desperate president who's out of solutions and just throwing $5,000 against the wall. What if he also threw in hand stuff? Chiching, I'm in. Desi Lydic, everybody. America is not the only country in the world.

So for a look at what's going on in other countries, we go to our senior correspondent, Troy Iwada, in another edition of So Not Our Problem. Once again, the world is talking shit about America, fluently in three to five languages. But guess what? We're not the only ones with problems. Yeah, people say America is crude and ignorant, but we're not the only ones.

Just look at the UK, which is England and its three weird friends saving on rent by splitting an island, where they, too, can be pretty insensitive. Grabley fruit farm in the UK is a family-friendly destination for fun and fruit picking, but it's not the strawberries that's landing the farm in the headlines these days, but this slide. An attraction for the children named after, yes, the Titanic. And much like the real one, this Titanic ride lifts up in the air, sending the children sliding down onto a crash map. Look, the UK, I too love a theme, but maybe real-life boat where half the kids on it died is a weird theme. And it's not very autumn.

And this is how British kids are learning about the Titanic. They should have to learn about it like I did. And an all-boy's sleepover where a kid named Kyle Google's Kate Winslet Boob's scene while I read goosebumps in the the corner. But hey, I'm glad someone was finally brave enough to admit that this must have been really fun. We'll never forget. And no surprise, there was some pushback on the UK social media, which I'm assuming is just Facebook with a you. But the owner of the farm didn't agree. So when you hear about people say, listen, this was one of the biggest tragedies, dozens of children died, what is your response to that? Well, my mom.

My response would be that we're not taking, making the fun of the dead at all. We're not insensitive at all. It's actually very much a sort of in memory of Titanic. See, they're just respectfully remembering history. Same thing with their other ride, the Irish Potato Famine Bumper Boats. And, you know, sure, maybe our kids' test scores are sinking at a disturbing rate, but at least they're not learning history from a whimsical playground death slide. Sorry, the UK.

That is so not our problem. And now we turn to Italy, Europe's slutty, thigh-high, leather boot, where one man fakes it and he makes it. An Italian man who claimed to discover an ancient Greek amphitheater in 2014 has been jailed for fraud. Ross Scooter said,

Franco Meloso hired a construction crew to build the amphitheater and told them, quote, make it look old. Then started charging twice, GERGROPS nearly $700 to visit the site. The scam went on for two years. Italy, that guy scammed you for two years? Maybe we rethink wine at every meal, babe.

I mean, it was pretty obvious this place was fake, because it was the only ancient Greek amphitheater with a Miller-Lite skybox. But whatever, Italy, leave this guy alone. Your country's all about making up shit. Oh, sure, the old single guy at the Vatican who wears beautiful robes and lives in a gorgeous gold. lives in a gorgeous gold building, doesn't have sex with women because God told him not to?

Cool story, bro. And sure, America isn't flush with ancient landmarks. Our most popular attraction is a Buckees where someone saw an image of Jesus in the jerky wall. But getting scammed by some Paddington bear villain? Sorry, Italy, but that is so not our problem. And now let's move on to Austria, the birthplace of my favorite Terminator, and my least face. Thank you, I'm brave. Roll it!

An infamous address is being given a new function. The birthplace of Adolf Hitler in the Austrian town of Brannau is being turned into a police station. Austria's government seized the property from its then owner in 2016. Authorities want to make sure the structure doesn't become a pilgrimage site for right-wing extremists. Wait, Austria, you turned Hitler's birthplace into a police. station to prevent right-wing extremists from visiting? If you really want to deter them, you turn it into somewhere they'll never want to go, like a library or a place where women feel safe.

And, yeah, yeah. Maybe this police station will not attract Hitler fans, but it will attract time travelers going, well, damn, we set the machine too late to kill baby Hitler. All right. Any other babies we should kill or restaurant recommendations? Anyway, Austria, good luck containing the rapid rise of right-wing extremism within your own borders. Sorry, but that is... Actually, that might be our problem. When West Jet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different.

People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when West Jet welcomes you on board. Here's to West Jetting since 96. Travel back in time with us, and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Tony Award winning an Oscar-nominated actor

who stars in the new film The Uprising. Please welcome, Andrew. Hey, this is nice to be here with everybody. How we doing? Hell yeah. I hate to tell them that that is the whole movie. You almost didn't even get here. You had a plane situation.

What happened? We were downed in... That sounds much more dramatic. You're okay. There was no, like, shots fired or anything like that. There was, like, a smell of smoke on the aircraft, and we were brought down in Albuquerque, New Mexico, which I would highly recommend to have...

So you had to spend some time there? A whole day in Albuquerque... Okay. Airport. Not the whole day. It was... We realized, you know, with these things, you get told one thing,

and then they apologize and say it's actually going to be 18 hours, later than what was going to happen, as we've all experienced. It's kind of like the king in this movie. Thank you for bringing you back to what we're talking about. So you're an album, Kirkie.

Yeah, and it was, you know, have you ever had, like, a huge delay where you feel so bonded to the people that you're, like, you're all Tom Hanks in the terminal kind of thing? And you're all just, like, getting to know each other in a deeper way than you even know your own family. Wow. There was something really sweet and kind of bonding, like instant strange community of, of,

suffering in Albuquerque airport. But to the point where we, I was traveling with someone I work with and we, we had enough time to go bowling. We had enough time to like leave through security and do like four, four games of like four rounds of bowling where we were like betting because she actually started beating me and I was like, you know, she's my assistant, Isabel, really, really sweet, wonderful person. And I was like, if you beat me, I will pay out. But if I beat you and I, she owes me like $120.

I was going to say, I mean, I would think an assistant should be losing. Just like, on purpose losing. I don't go bowling with my assistant, but I don't have an assistant. How's your bowling game? Solid? I, it's, you know, I was, I ranged between a 90 and a 120. Yeah, I think that's. It's like very, very in the middle.

My high is a 111, which is kind of embarrassing. But anyways, let's talk about this film, which I don't even think bullying had been invented yet. When this film took place in the late 1300s. Yeah, these guys didn't have much time, leisure time. Yeah. They were being taxed. Yeah, so it's set during the Peasants' Uprising, which was a true historical event. In 1881, in the UK, it was the first.

major kind of popular uprising. And it was a time where there was a small group of oligarchs who were hoarding all of the wealth and all of the resources. 1381, 1381 in a country, don't worry, this could never happen here. And a kind of general population whose souls were being squeezed to the point

where they were felt like they were being treated like animals. like Vermeman, like completely worthless, like stripped of dignity to the point where, as you saw in that clip, it was, you know, the person I play is representative of thousands upon thousands of people who, it's post the plague, so 50%

of Europe have been wiped out by an epidemic. Again, 30, anyone? Safe, guys. Everything's fine. The peasants can't afford the newest iPhone. How familiar were you with the story ahead of time? We learned about it in school in England.

We kind of learn about it through the perspective of the people who kind of write history, which are not the common folk, which are the kind of the oligarchs who say, weren't we great and how we raped and pillaged everyone? So it was a really incredible story to be told through, yeah, ordinary people who kind of banned together to kind of fight for very, very basic human rights. And it's a really powerful, it does feel like a very, very powerful film for now. It's excellent.

It's very powerful. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen. It definitely resonates today, you know, which is interesting. Scary, really kind of frightening that it resonates so deep. When I read it, I felt like, I think it's very hard right now. I'm sure you feel the same. How do we keep up with the uncertainty and the forever changing nature of our world? world. And how do we as creative people, artists, kind of speak to the current issues that we're

facing? And when I read this, it felt like a bit of a cry of the soul. It felt like, oh, this feels like the closest thing I've read to feeling like it's a very long, long distance mirror of where we are now and how out of joint the world is and how difficult it is to say how out of joint it is. And then what do we do about? I wake up every morning and I'm like, has anyone been held accountable for corruption or abuse of power? No, the day 1,569 of that not happening. I guess that's just normal now. The little bit of corruption that accrues over time is, or a lot of corruption, is just kind of weirdly accept. I feel like I'm going mad. Yeah. I feel like we're all going mad. It's true. It's true. I never know if I should feel

comforted that history has done this before? Yeah. Or if I should just be more angry that we keep doing it? Should we do both? Should we do both of those things? I feel like anger, I feel like anger right now is kind of one of the only, like, heartbreak and anger is the only, like, logical response that we can have. And I do feel reassured and hopeful because it's a cycle.

Like the idea that the world, I don't think that, you know, AI, robots are going to kill us, maybe some of us, but like, not all of us, you know, if we can get on the submarine with Zuckerberg, we'll be fine. But like, no, no, but I do feel like there's this kind of, yeah, you look throughout history, it's a cycle, and we do seem like we're living through an interesting part of the cycle where the world has no center. Everything is falling apart.

So it does require individuals, namely us, to find our own centers in the middle of a centerless world and bring that center to the center of the culture and start planting seeds for the new world that will be built when this shit show is over. And historically, that is how each one of these things changes. People become aware, they understand the past, and then they plant these new seeds.

This character, the plowman, is very empathetic. I mean, he's trying to do the right thing. He's dealing with grief and sadness. But you also just finish playing. Sam Altman in a new film where... It's like so... I liked him in the beginning of this interview.

Most of your characters have this empathetic character that I love and respond to. It makes me think you must be a good person deep down. I don't really know you. But what was it like playing Sam Allman? He doesn't feel like that type of character. Hey, man. Hey, man.

Listen, man. We're all in need of some soul work. We're all in need of community. We're all in need of healing. We're all wounded. And we're all, like, all of us in unconscious ways, probably enacting that woundedness on other people that we are not aware of.

And I don't think any of us are any exceptions. And that's why I think I love being an actor is because it is an empathy machine. You get to try and close the gap between you and anyone in the human race. And I find that very, very interesting. But yeah, I mean, two, you know, if we're looking at the plowman and we're looking at Sam Alton, we're looking at kind of one of the most powerful people in our current culture, maybe top 10, like winning at the game of capitalism versus someone who's arguably losing

at that particular game. But then if you see our movie, you might be surprised about who is most free. There's something about where the plowman gets to that he sheds any kind of imprisonment to a world that is not for him, is not for his soul, is not for any decency in his life. And I would argue that our culture is kind of not serving anybody right now. particularly the people on top. I feel like there's a terror. Why do we need to hoard so much?

There's a fear in that. You're right. And it seems like, why are they so miserable? Right, yeah. They've won. They've got it all. It's like they should be happy. There's a great scene in the uprising when your character comes into the castle or the kingdom and just picks up the pen, the feathered pen, and it's almost like he's astonished at the wealth

that is just in the rooms. And it was very powerful. And, you know, your characters, it feels like you take them with you as a person. That can be exhausting, no? I mean, I also think of the social network when you played another tech movie. What have you learned from tech

by being in these films, if anything? I realize films aren't real life. No, well, yeah, yes and no, I suppose. I don't, I mean, I, I, I'm just very healthily afraid. I did the social network and I immediately got off of Facebook when I started shooting that. Oh, interesting. And I did the, this film artificial about OpenAI, and I immediately, you know, deleted my chat GPT. And I, and I don't really, I don't really know why.

I think it feels like a kind of, it's a race to the bottom. And I think that there could be alignment. There could be, if there was actual kind of communication and a kind of integrative kind of process that had integrity, that the people who are running these companies valued human life more than the bottom line of their company. kind of shareholders stock value, then we would have a chance. But it does seem like we're in the part of history when the leaders care about the bottom line

more than they do about any human life, maybe outside of their own immediate circle. Okay, fine, but did you see Apple's new folding phone? It looks sick. It looks sick. We can consume content on a left screen and on a right screen. Let's talk about outside of acting. You're working so much.

so much. Work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work. But how do you cleanse the soul? How do you feed your soul? What is it that you do? Yeah, what do we do? What do we do? No, but for real. I'm just, you know... What are you reading these days? I'm going bowling with my sister. Yeah, that's awesome. No, no, I, yeah, I mean, the usual things. I try to read. I try to go and see movies, go to see plays, see comedy, see music, listen to music. go out. I think live performance is now the kind of the last

I don't know, the most kind of important commodity we have like live visceral experience. So I feel like that's really, yeah, I know. For me too, I feel so happy about that. So I try and have as much life in my life as possible, as much vitality in my life as possible. And yeah, and honestly

friends, community, family, that is so simple. But like nature, the kind of eternal thing. I feel like, I don't know. No, this is good, you've got to tell us this stuff. Because it seems like it's, everyone knows it, but not everyone knows, especially young men. Yeah, yeah. You know, I'm a little bit afraid right now. I want young men to see other young men such as yourself and ourselves.

We're not that different in age. How to stay healthy, how to stay positive and optimistic. I mean, I think there are, there are dependable things that are eternal. There is the woods. There is the ocean. There is a walk with a buddy. There is art. There's always going to be tremendously talented

and heart-filled people making beautiful... I don't lose hope in humanity because you can go to any art gallery in any city in the world and you can go, oh, humans are amazing. It's true. And you can see so much beautiful creativity and proper community.

I think that is something that is making a pretty great comeback is that we're all longing to be able to kind of cry together. Like, I feel like, because it's in this, in the moments we're, in the moment we're in, it's like the, the, the heart breaks and breaks and it lives by breaking. I don't know. Someone said that. It wasn't me. It's quite a nice quote. It was me. I said. It was you. But there's something, I think particularly for young men, I'm not, I mean, but, but I think there's something, I know for me, if I, if I can, bring my wounds and my pain in a kind of self-owned way to a group of people that I know love me for who I am, not for what I can do for them or any kind of status or any kind of power or anything like that,

then I feel connected to life, connected to the world in a way that feels eternal, and it doesn't feel like it can be taken like that. That feels like a spiritual practice to me. I love that. And sometimes I have to be reminded that as a man, we have to reach out. Yeah. And it doesn't always go perfect all the time. No.

You got to keep doing it. Yeah. Sometimes I'll reach out and I'll be like, that's awful. I'm not reaching out ever again to anybody. Right, right. And now I'm in the basement podcasting. Right. Yeah.

That's literally the only thing you do. That's the only response. Are you a tennis fan? You're British. I love tennis. Yeah. You go to Wimbled in? Are you going to the U.S. Open?

I'm going to the U. US Open, I hope. Yeah. I love Wimbledon. Yeah, I love tennis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what was cool with the Alcaraz thing the other day?

Like, I love Alcaraz. I think he is my favorite young tennis player right now. Carlos Alcaraz lost to an American and a five-hour match. But he lost so elegantly. It was so cool. It was like he was vomiting into his towel.

And at the end, he was smart because he just had this huge terrible injury. And he was just so, like, grateful that he managed to compete at the level that he did, win or lose. There's something so beautiful about that. That's gorgeous. To him, the definition of success was, like,

get to be out here trying my hardest. And it reminds me of, like, Simone Biles when she was like, you know what? I'm going to take care of myself as an ordinary person and step away from my extraordinary abilities for a minute and make sure that I can keep doing my extraordinary shit. But I need to make sure that my ordinariness is intact. When she stepped away from gymnastics,

I found that very, very inspiring as well. It was very inspiring. Well, thank you so much for coming here. The uprising is an amazing film. When West Jet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s,

one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to West Jetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Please consider supporting the Feel Good Foundation. They provide assistance and health care support to 9-11 first responders who suffered catastrophic health effects. If you can, please donate at the link below. Now, here it is your moment of Zen.

We want voter ID, voter identification. Ideally, ideally, we want it with a photo. So that when I see Tim Scott, I won't get him mixed up with, Let's see who's over there with Scott Besant. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central,

and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.