The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Trump Dumps Toxic Ballroom Debris on Golf Course & DJ Marco Rubio Loves 90s Rap | Marla Mindelle

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

The Iran War might be ended with a Post-it, Marco Rubio's rap-obsessed DJ persona bleeds into his secretary of state work, and Trump's White House ballroom construction could cost taxpayers $1 billion, while the toxic debris from the East Wing could cost nearby golfers a lung. Plus, Desi Lydic and Michael Kosta try to determine the creep level of GOP Congressman Chuck Edwards, who allegedly sexually harassed his staff with unwelcome advances and Adam Sandler puzzles. The U.S. is commemorating its upcoming semiquincentennial with America's Time Capsule, which will be sealed for 250 years for the dubious benefit of future generations. Troy Iwata hit the streets to find out what present-day patriots think the time capsule should include, and whether America will still be around by then. Marla Mindelle, the star, co-writer, and co-creator of the musical “Titaníque,” talks to Desi about the journey of this over-the-top retelling of “Titanic” through Céline Dion’s perspective from a drunken idea in LA to a Broadway show with four Tony nominations, including two for Mindelle’s performance and writing. She also describes how improv and topical jokes keep the show fresh night after night and how she gets into character as Céline Dion. -- Head to https://Quince.com/dailyshow for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. -- The Daily Show airs weeknights at 11/10c on Comedy Central. Stream full episodes on Paramount+ Follow TDS: YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news. This is The Daily show with your host, Desi Lyon. Commits golf-on-golf crime. Marco Rubio gets his lamest job yet, and America's building a ballroom in Mexico's paying. Just kidding.

We're paying for it. We're always paying for it. But first, let's get into the latest in the war on Iran. Nothing bad can happen. It can only good happen. ...of our four-week war with Iran, and it hasn't been going great. But this morning, there was some unquestionably good news for anyone insider trading the oil markets. And we do have breaking news this morning. White House officials believe, quote,

the U.S. and Iran are closing in on a one-page memo to end the war. Sorry, a one-page memo? How can Trump end a war with less paperwork than it took me to end my planet fitness membership? Whoever wrote that memo, can you please organize all bachelorette trips? Can we actually, can we see a copy of this memo? Honestly, this is far from a done deal, since Iran does not seem to trust Donald Trump. Some say that's because Trump famously never honors his agreements, while others say, yep, that's it, what the first guy said. The Secretary of State, Marco Rubio, has a more sophisticated explanation.

The times come for Iran to make a sensible choice. And it's not easy for them to do that, obviously, because the top people in that government are, to say the least, you know, they're insane in the brain. Really, Marco? A little inappropriate to be quoting old rap lyrics while you're talking about war. I mean, you imagine your doctor telling you, if you're looking for the tumor on this scan, whoop, there it is.

I'm afraid it's actually spread from the windows to the wall. Wet drop down my... I've been watching Marco Rubio for a long time. First of all, what is wrong with you? And second, you know that this is kind of his thing. Every day, the Department of War lets the drummer get wicked over every portion of Iran. They should check themselves before they wreck themselves. If you don't know, now you know.

We are dealing with people over there that have spent most their lives living in a gangster paradise. I'm sorry, we're getting breaking news that rap is. no longer cool. Marco, you've got to drop this. You're the Secretary of State, for Christ's sakes. Not some lame wedding DJ. Marco Rubio, clocking in for a shift as a

wedding DJ over the weekend. In this administration, busy. Marco Rubio's DJ and Cash Patel is partying in locker rooms. RFK is working out with Kid Rock. Donald Trump has scheduled nap times in the middle of meeting. Focus. We need to end this war.

It is costing us billions of dollars a week. Surely there are more important things we could be spending money on. Senate Republicans are working to secure $1 billion in taxpayer money for President Trump's White House ballroom saying the money is for security enhancements. Ugh, not the fucking ballroom again. People didn't even want the ballroom when he was building it for free. Now Trump's like, okay, I hear you. But what if it cost a billion dollars?

And if this ballroom story is making you sick, don't worry. It can also make you literally sick. Health concerns growing from President Trump's ballroom project. A new report showing soil taken from the White House construction project has tested positive for toxic chemicals. So that soil is dumped near one of the three golf courses at East Potomac. They can't even clap normally. Now this?

I believe I'm saying these words, but the toxic waste, the president has dumped onto the public grounds from his, demolition of the White House could be very dangerous for golfers. I hope everyone in the D.C. area keeps a safe distance. DC News now is Daniel Hanberg, joining us live at the golf course there in Southwest. And Daniel, are there? Hulman safety concerns at this point. There are Susan and Chris.

There are Susan and Chris. The toxic site you sent me to is indeed toxic. The thing we could have talked about in the studio. But let's move on from the... golf course to something equally toxic, Chuck Edwards. North Carolina Congressman and Guy who's not bald, so stop asking. Turns out he's in big trouble. Yet another member of Congress facing a House Ethics Committee investigation into allegations of sexual misconduct.

What sources described to me was inappropriate conduct that crossed the line. Representative Chuck Edwards had an inappropriate relationship with two young female staffers who were both in their 20s. Both of these relationships included love letters, personal gifts, personal travel, we saw Edwards write to the staffer that she was, quote, the most amazing woman that she, quote, had written a complex chapter in his heart. A complex chapter in his heart? What a sophisticated way of saying me horny. But, yeah. Leave this guy is a creep. I mean, he's the kind of guy who's not wearing a fedora, but when you think of him later, he's wearing a fedora.

What his love letters were like, but gifts, gifts were his real love language. He gave these two staffers, jewelry, designer bags. One of the gifts was even a custom puzzle that when you assembled it revealed a photo of Adam Sandler with a handwritten note, asking the staffer to come to a comedy show, one of Adam Sandler's comedy shows with her. You sexually harassed your staffer with a custom Adam Sandler puzzle? Violating the rules of the workplace, but you're giving her homework? You know how to describe this. This is, this is...

Insane in the brain. Live to the Capitol with their very own Michael Carlin. Analysis here as a pervert expert. Thank you, Desi. And just to be clear, I'm an expert on perverts. Not an expert who is also a pervert. If you say so, what do you think of these allegations? Desi, these allegations definitely constitute abuse of power.

And if proven, they justify severe punishment. No ifs, ands or buts. Thank you, Michael. But as far as congressional allegations go, I got to be honest with you, this weirdo was pretty thoughtful. Talking about you can't hit on your staff. Obviously. No, no, no.

You can't. No one should. Hey, don't do that. Right. They make me sick. Literally. I threw up all over the place when I heard it. I'm standing in my own puke right now.

But this type of thing is dick picks, strip clubs, watching an intern walk by and going, he'm going, how many, ha'm going. But a creep who takes the time to make a custom puzzle of the cobbler star Adam Sandler isn't just thinking with his penis. He's thinking with this. His chest penis. Wait, can you back up a bit? The cobbler is what you know Adam Sandler from? Is he in other stuff?

I thought he was just that and sometimes some puzzles. Okay, I don't think being a creep is okay as long as you give gifts. Totally agree. Okay? Again, Des, I'm ankle-deep in my own lunch right now, all right? My loafers are covered in rigatoni. Notful gifts do make bad things slightly less bad. Look, it's like when you go to the dentist and they give you a little gift gift bag on your way out. Look, I'm not happy about the visit, but the extra toothbrush is nice to have around, especially when you puke as much as I do. Right, but that gift isn't thoughtful at all. Clearly, he just wanted to go to an Adam Sandler show. A 25-year-old woman doesn't care. about Billy Madison.

Who's Billy Madison? Is that another congressman? My point is there's no room for inappropriate behavior in a workplace. I don't care if there are gifts involved. Perverts can't excuse their perversion by offering gifts to victims as a way of mitigating the foundational wrongness of their perversion. Well, well, well. Has joined the ranks of the pervert experts. Welcome to the club, Desi.

Your welcome gift is a custom puzzle of tickets to the cobbler. Twizzlers keep the fun going. I just stopped whatever you were listening to to tell you that Twizzlers keep the fun going. Well, irony isn't my forte, but twisty, chewy, yummy Twizzler sure is. So think of Twizzlers as a little palette cleanser for whatever's queued up, which, by the way, should be coming very soon. Like any second now. Okay, Twizzlers, time to keep the fun going.

But do Americans today want to be remembered? Troy Iwada hit the streets to find out. It's America's 250th birthday, and our government is preserving this moment in a very special way. As part of a celebration, Congress has mandated the creation of a time capsule. The Commission's chairwoman Rosie Rios

says, quote, we want future generations to have a clear, authentic window into who we were at 250. So in 250 years, when future Americans open this time capsule, capsule, will they be jealous of the golden age we're currently living in? I'm asking present-day patriots what they think. Now, why is 2026 the best year in American history to preserve for future generations? Because it's not. Not really. Oh. Well, I don't think it's the best year to preserve

for future generations. I would say it's not the best, I'd say, too. Did you see how 2026 started? Yes, Sandaya released like nine movies. What do you think we can put into this time capsule that's representing America in 2026, the height of American society. I was thinking like a pile of shit, maybe. No, I think if somebody went and took a shit right outside the White House, pick it up, put in a time capsule. Oh, that's gross. Surely people have more positive ideas and less feces-based ones.

What do you think we should put in this time capsule? Lena Dunham's new memoir. Lena Dunham's new memoir, famed sick. That's a really good idea. The people of the future definitely need Lena Dunham's memoir. Famousa. There was a picture of a burning cyber truck in front of Trump Tower. I figured that quite encapsulates a few things.

What do you think is more important to put in the time capsule? This map that shows Canada, Greenland, and Cuba still as independent countries? Or this Labubu? This map right here. Yeah, because we don't know in 250 years they're still going to be independent. Well, we don't know if they're still going to be independent in 250 minutes. That's true. The bububis are forever.

All the pessimism on the streets were starting to get to me, and soon I found myself drinking the hittery. Is there an item that you think represents America that you would put in the time capsule? I'm a teacher, elementary, so a children's book. It's funny that you think children might know how to read in 250 years. I've already lost cursive. What are some other items, maybe even from the Trump era, that could go in there? Do you think RFK Jr.'s brainworm would survive in there? I do.

I want a voice memo of him speaking just in general to be in there. Do you think people in the future would know that that's a human speaking? No. Yeah. No. I know what I would put in the time capsule. I would put this, but I would also put this. Love, love.

It looks like RFK's ringworm is like in your brain. Thank you. Oh my God. But in 250 years, who will even be around? Pull these headshots from the time capsule? I don't know if there's going to be like a civilization to access it. They'll probably wear it hazmat suits and you know. I mean, let's be honest, they'll probably bust this thing open in 65 years in desperate search for food.

What do you think America's going to look like? in 250 years. Oh my God. They should split America in too. We should segregate again. I mean, let's face it, in 250 years, America might be a desolate wasteland. So maybe we should put some like survival gear in this time capsule.

Maybe fresh water, rinaloa bars, a gun with a single bullet. Just off the top of my head. I'm an optimist. And I used to be. Clearly the best thing to put in this time capsule is an apology letter for the state we left the country in. Maybe we can all write it together. Dear future Americans slash potential Chinese slash potential Russian citizens, we're sorry that we made mistakes.

Yes, and I'm sorry that I have only attended two no-kings rallies so far. We used to have trees. Hopefully you still have them, but if you don't, we're sorry. That was on us. We're sorry for not understanding each other well. I'm sorry that my Zoloft prevents me from making active change. Honestly, I just want to say good luck because y'all are going to need it. Things can get better.

Things can get better. We're not responsible for any of those things. We may have made things worse, but... All right, so how should we sign this? Regrettfully. Regretfully, Americans of 2026 are bad. As the season shifts, many are becoming more intentional about their daily wardrobe, leaning into pieces that offer ease, comfort, and a polished look.

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Quince.com slash daily show. actor who stars in, co-wrote, and co-created the Broadway musical Titanic. Please welcome Marla Mendel. I am so happy you're here. Congratulations. Four Tony nominations. Yes. Best book?

Yes. Best musical. Yes. Best featured actor. Latein Williams. Who plays iceberg bitch. Iceberg bitch. Yes.

Period. Oh, my God. How are you feeling? Are you feeling cookie crazy? I'm feeling cookie crazy. as Celine Dionne would say, Cookey Crazy, girlfriend. I am feeling Cookey Crazy. We were performing on the Today Show when I found out.

So it was like, you're nominated, 10, 9, 8, now sing. Yeah, it was incredible. So were you cry singing? No, no, I couldn't cry. No, I reacted like a zombie. Everyone was like, congratulations. I was like, thank you so much. Because I was like, if I cry, then I can't sing.

I can't be Celine. You know what I mean? That is such a Celine Dion thing to do. The show must go on. No emotion, you must sing. Oh, yeah, absolutely. The show is so funny, particularly right now in this moment in time, it's something we all need.

It is just over the top, it is an over the top, fun, hilarious party, only it takes place on a sinking ship. Totally, totally. And somehow it's still joyful. It is still joyful. It is. It's top to bottom joyful.

For those who haven't seen it, tell us what Titanic is. So Celine Dionne believes that she was on the Titanic and she uses her eyes and her song. to narrate this story. So she's basically like a French-Canadian conspiracy theorist in our musical, not in real life. She's the greatest singer in the world, but in our musical, she's like, I was on the sheep girlfriend,

and they're like, Celine, you would be 150 years old. And she's like, no, no, no, go with me. And the story begins there. And so it's just a love letter to her, because I'm such a huge fan of her, and obviously the movie Titanic. And so we combine the two, not thinking that it would become this massive hit that it is now.

It is so, I mean, listen, I'm a fan of Celine and Titanic. So this musical is like you can just tap it right into my veins. Yeah, you can inject it in the veins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But how did all of this start? Did you, because your Celine is incredible. First of all, how do you get into the body of Celine Dion?

What is your process like? Well, I researched her on, like, I say that I'm in a relationship with her on Instagram because she'd be the first thing that I would look at in the morning and the last thing before I went to bed and I'd be like, Celine, it's me, Celine. And I started to pick up. I started to pick up, like, she has like such a specific language. She does like a lot with the fingers. She likes to conduct.

She's always in disbelief. Oh, my God, it's good to see. She'll find the camera. Oh, hey, girlfriend, it's me, Celine Dion. Do you know what I mean? She does a little chest bump. Unfortunately, it's a second language. I can get into it too quickly that it scares me.

So is perfection. Did it start with the Celine impression? And then you thought, I have got to write a musical around this. No, no, no, no. It started with coming up with the idea for your show. It started drunk in a bar, L-O-L where all great ideas happen. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was doing dinner theater in Los Angeles. I had left Broadway. I'd done like 10 years of Broadway shows. And then I was like, I want to be a writer. How hard can it be? And God was like, he, he, see you, which, it's gonna be really hard. And I just, I lost everything in LA.

I lost all my money, and I wound up working at dinner theater. And we were doing movie to musical parodies, like True Beverly Hills and Devereux Prada. And Constantine Rusulli, the co-author of this, one of the co-authors, was like, what if we did a Titanic parody with Celine Dion, and you'll be Celine? And I was like, absolutely.

Absolutely not because I love her so much. I was like, I'm gonna ruin her. I'm going to ruin her. And I was too scared. So for two years, we just didn't, we sat on the idea. And then Ty Blue, the director one day, who also worked at the dinner theater, was like, we have to do this.

And so we just started doing it for fun. And 10 years later, we went from LA to New York to the basement of a Gristidis, where we started the show, old UCB, which is now demolished. I guess we, yeah, I guess we ruined it. You quite literally brought down the house. Yeah, we did. We blew it up.

You blew it up. We blew it up. And then we transferred to the Del Roth off Broadway, and we ran for three years, went all over the world. And finally, 10 years later, we have landed on Broadway. So it really has been, thank you so much. It belongs. Yes. You are phenomenal in it.

The rest of the cast is phenomenal. The music is great. Thank you. Tell us who else is in it. Deborah Cox. Deborah Cox. Yeah. Stick of butter falls out when she sings.

Best voice you've ever heard in your life. Jim Parsons, comedy icon. Melissa Barrera, Melissa is just incredible. Constantine Rassouli, who co-wrote it with me, Ty Blue directed it. I mean, it is just a cast of star-studded geniuses. Frankie Grande. Frankie Grande.

Oh, my God, Jinks. Oh, my God, Jinks. Yes. How can I forget him? John Riddle, the voice of an angel. I mean, it is just, I feel so blessed every single day that not only have I written something, but it's with all of my best friends.

Do you know what I mean? Like, coming to work is an absolute joy. And I get to be, you know, the greatest singer, Indoor World. Indie World. Yeah. You use all of these modern pop culture references. You reference Rupal's Drag Race. You were even weaving in some topical news stories.

There were some Spirit Airlines jokes when I saw it over the weekend. And then you have, like, an entire improvised portion of the show. Yeah. How much of the show is improvised? And how much do you sprinkle in to... just keep it fresh. We have a whole section of the show that is like kind of fully improvised. And that was because we were like, again, drunk, LOL, and bad writers in Los Angeles.

And we couldn't figure out how to transition from scene to scene. And Ty and Connie were like, Marla, why don't you just like, I don't know, improv? And so I started doing that. And then it became this thing where people would come back like 10, 12, 15 times because there's a whole section that's completely different, which is very different than a typical Broadway show. Yeah. We didn't know.

Good marketing. Keep them coming back. Yeah. Exactly, yeah. Spend more money. Exactly. Yeah. I am so happy that you are here. Congratulations for everything.

You deserve every bit of it. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. This episode is brought to you by FedEx. These days, the power move isn't having a big metallic credit card to drop on the check at a corporate lunch. The real power move is leveling up your business with FedEx intelligence. And accessing one of the biggest data networks powered by one of the biggest data networks powered by one of the biggest delivery networks. Level up your business with FedEx, the new power move.

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I wish I knew your names, guys. Can you put name tags on? I'm winging it, guys. They gave me a little map. I don't know where I put it. I wish I had like a dice. I need to get a laser point. You in the black, yes, ma'am.

No, you don't have black. You have blue on. I'm colorblind, but I know blue and black. This is chaos, guys. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11,

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