The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Trump’s Affordability Tailspin: 50-Year Mortgages, Tariff Checks & Maybe Socialism | Rob Riggle

Episode Date: November 12, 2025

The Democrats' popular affordability platform has Trump jealously weaving plans for 50-year mortgages and socialist-seeming tariff rebates, and Josh Johnson deciphers how the “money man” president thinks $2,000 checks will solve everything. On this edition of Who Won It Best, Desi Lydic and Troy Iwata dive into the crèmè de la crème of awards season: the Fox Nation Patriot Awards, where Sean Hannity tortured the crowd with his singing, Mike Waltz got an adoring shoutout, Melania Trump plugged her Amazon flick, and Jason Aldean shined as the biggest star they could muster. Actor, comedian, former Daily Show correspondent, and U.S. Marine Corps veteran Rob Riggle joins Josh to discuss his memoir, "Grit, Spit, and Never Quit: A Marine's Guide to Comedy and Life." They talk about employing the “don’t quit” military mindset in comedy, fighting excuses by becoming your own drill instructor, and advising veterans who are struggling with the transition from military to civilian life not to isolate. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only sorts for new. This is The Daily Show with your host, Josh Johnson. Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Josh Johnson. We've got so much to talk about tonight. Trump can't stop writing IOUs.

Sean Hannity's disc track just dropped, and a new breakthrough will allow you to live forever if you're a mortgage. So, let's get into the headlines. We all know the economy isn't great right now. Rent is too expensive. Grocery prices are too high. People are fist.

fighting Starbucks over bear cups. That one isn't really about the economy, but I just like watching middle-aged people fight over cups. That bear has turned Starbucks into Waffle House. The point is it's rough out there, so no wonder last week Democrats won a ton of elections by running on affordability, and that sent President Trump into a little bit of a tailspin.

You know, they have this new word called affordability, and they don't talk about it enough. the ones that have done great on affordability. They've done horribly on affordability. Affordability, they call it, was a con job by the Democrats. We are the victors on affordability. I don't want to hear about the affordability

because right now we're much less. Damn, that man just went through the five stages of affordability. I get why he feels threatened, because normally he can just lie. you're the president, and people know if they ate or not. It doesn't matter how many hats they buy or how many photos of

him and Epstein they pretend they didn't see. You can hear your stomach growling when you're hungry. They're not going to be like, that must be an illegal immigrant in my stomach stirring up trouble. Get out of there, immigrant. Get out of there.

But you know what? If Trump wants to focus on forability right now, that's great. There's a lot of stuff if it's too expensive. For example, houses. No one can afford a home. Everybody keeps waiting for them to show up on Prime Day, but it never happens. So maybe Trump

could do something to bring down mortgages. The Trump administration moves forward with a plan to introduce 50-year mortgages. Or you can make them much longer, you know, because you know where we'll all be in 50 years. Dead.

This seems like a bad idea, and if black people could get loans, I'd be worried. But hey, hey, maybe I'm just hating, all right? I mean, how much would a 50-year mortgage save people? Take a $400,000 loan at 6% interest. Under a 30-year mortgage, the monthly payment would be just shy of $2,400. Under a 50-year loan, it drops to just over $2,100, a savings of nearly $300 a month. Oh, boy! $300 a month.

See, it's not a stupid idea. You know what? I'm going to apply for a 50-year mortgage right now. But over time, that savings is erased by a much larger interest bill, because while the total interest on a 30-year loan would be about $463,000, the interest on a 50-year loan would total more than $860,000. Signed Ronnie Chang. So you're saying that after interest, a $400,000 mortgage is going to cost me $1.3 million.

That is the opposite of affordability. This man is creating generational debt. They're going to be fighting to get out of grandma's will. Grandkids will be like, I barely knew her, all right? I wouldn't even hug her at Christmas because her skin was too loose. But look, forget mortgages, because Trump's got other plans to make sure you afford whatever you want. You're going to be exhausted from affording. You're going to afford everywhere. President Trump now says he wants to send out two,

$2,000 rebate checks paid for by his tariffs. One of the things we're going to do, we're going to issue a dividend to our middle income people and lower income people about $2,000. Wait a second. Okay. Trump's making everybody pay tariffs, but only poor people are getting the $2,000 checks. So he's just redistributing taxes from rich people to poor people. Did Donald Trump just stupid himself?

into socialism. I mean, I mean, you're doing a great job, Mr. President. We always believed. Everybody shut up, all right? Don't say a word. Let this play out, and we'll have free health care by Christmas, all right? Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody call him Mango Mamdani, all right? Great idea, Mr. President. Very capitalism.

But hey, you know what? $2,000 would help a lot of people. If the money's there, the money's there. If the president sent $2,000 checks to the $150 million people who make less than $100,000, It would cost $300 billion even though the tariffs are only projected to raise about $217 annually. The money's not there. And now I'm starting to get worried because that's $83 billion short.

And I'm not saying Trump is the worst president of all the time. I'm just saying I've never met anyone who was $83 billion short. And by the way, he's only $83 billion short if he hasn't promised the tariff money to anybody else. We're going to take some of that tariff money that we made. We're going to give it to our farmers. The big thing we want to do is pay down debt.

The president tapped into tariff revenue to keep WIC money for women and infants and children going out the door. Tariffs is one of the reasons why we have the money in the Treasury to actually be able to pay our troops. I think the tariffs will be enough to cut all of the income tax. Donald Trump's suggesting that tariffs could fund the country's child care needs. That'll easily pay for the Golden Dome and we'll have a lot of money left over. money left over, the money that never existed is already spent. And you're running around the country promising money you do not have to multiple people many times over. Every week I'm at this desk, I say this, and I guess I'll have to say this for three more years.

But this is crackhead behavior. Please, for a man. America's sake, you can't go down this path. This is going to end up with you behind the White House with China doing unspeakable things for money. Please reassure us when you are promising money to people, you have an idea where it's coming from. You put out a truth social post earlier today where you blasted the air traffic controllers

who had not shown up for work and offered potentially a bonus of $10,000 for those who have worked despite the shutdown. I'm sending them a $10,000 bonus. Where's that money coming from? I don't know. I'll get it from someplace. Somebody please hide the dumpster behind the White House. For more on Trump's plan to give everyone $2,000, let's go live to the White House with our own Grace Koolen-Schmidt.

Grace, you've been reporting on this story. Is this a serious plan? Absolutely not, Josh. A $2,000 tariff dividend is such a stupid plan. It's laughable. But I want $2,000. God, I want it so fucking bad. But you just said it's stupid.

Oh, it's one of the dumbest things this dumb, dumb, president has ever done. It's going to bankrupt the country and drive inflation through the roof. But on the other hand, Mommy want that money, Mommy want a damn money so bad! Grace, let me explain.

You've already paid this money in tariffs. Right. I am aware. Consumers have been shouldering the cost of these tariffs. I'm not stupid. But I am American. So $2,000, please. No, come on.

We've got to be better citizens than that. There are better ways to spend the money. Definitely. We could put it toward Medicare for all. They're paying down the debt. And there's one other program that slipped my mind. But maybe two Gs might help refresh my memory. I'm not paying you the money.

Then shut the fuck up and let Trump pay me. So that's it, then. Americans are fine bankrupting the future for some money today. It's not just money, Josh. Oh, my God. It's 2,000 monies. Forget Mabdoni's free buses.

With 2,000 monies, I could buy my own bus. You can't buy a bus with 2,000 monies. I mean, dollars. Why are you so hard for cash anyway? I'm really behind on my 50-year mortgage. Grace Coimschmidt, everyone. When we come back, we check in on award season, so don't go away. Welcome back to the Daily Show. If you've been to the movie theater lately, which you haven't,

You know that award season is officially upon us. So let's get all the Laos Award Show news and another edition of Who Wanted Best. Welcome to Who Wanted Best, where we cover the only reason to do anything, awards. I'm Emmy Award winner, Desi Lytic. And I'm a thin gay guy, Troy Iwada. You know, this past week was packed with award shows,

and as you probably guessed, we have to start off by talking about the highly anticipated Bellator Awards. Oh, yes, of course, the Bellator Awards. Everybody knows what the Bellator Awards are. We don't even have to explain it. Nor should we. No. No.

Let's talk about this year's keynote speaker, the glamorous, the debonair, the sex symbol of our time. Steve Bannon. I will tell you right now, as God is my witness, if we lose the midterms and we lose 2028, some in this room are going to prison,

myself included. I told myself I wouldn't cry at the Bellator Awards again. Every year, like clockwork, here we are. Of course, like everyone, I watch the Bellator Awards for the fashion. Can we talk about Steve's fashion? Well, I think we have to. Just incredible. He's wearing a shirt by Gucci, a coat by a dumpster,

and then another shirt that's vintage 1942 Hugo Boss that we've been told not to ask questions about. Lock him up before some other woman does. But of course, the Bellator Awards were just the appetizer to last week's main course, the Fox Nation Patriot Awards. Where those who win are declared the most patriotic Americans, and those who lose are never heard from again. So fun.

It's so fun. It's so fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. And returning as the host with the most head circumference, Sean Hannity.

Let's see that charismatic melon in action. Wow, ba-ba-ba-da-da-da-da-ba-ba-da-da-da. Wow, the crowd is loving it. The vocal commitment, the stage presence. The fine motor skills. Right? I mean, how does he do it?

I just want more. Please tell me it goes on for an excruciatingly long time. Start spreading the news. I'm leaving today. No longer want to be a part of it. High Tax, New York. These Kami Mandani Blues are longing to leave right to the very heart of it. Bye, bye, New York.

It was the perfect song with definitely the correct amount of syllables. It was so good. It was so good I could die now. I want to die now. I might kill myself. But Sean Hannity wasn't the only megawatt celebrity to grace this stage.

The show was full of stars. Way do you hear the lineup is sick It's great, it's fun It's going to be amazing Just hanging out With Jason Aldeen backstage Give it up

Jason Al Dean By the way Jason Al Dean is going to be back on this stage We have a special treat For you Because Jason

is coming back out All right Ready for more star power Back I love Jason Alde No way! They got Jason Aldine five times?

I mean, how can you say no to performing at the Fox News Patriot Awards? It's an opportunity to be heard by millions of people who are no longer on speaking terms with their children. You know, but it wasn't just glitz and glam. Hannity also gave us a classic, heartfelt awards show moment. I doubt there's a person in this room right now that would have ever... bet 30 years ago that this thing not only that Ainsley Earhart would date the other thing but she will be my wife I love you sweetheart who is it what

Mike Walz is here Mike stand up good to see you buddy Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Sean Hannity and Ainsley Earhart, and I guess Mike Walts are going to be together forever. If those three bottoms can't make it work, no one can. No one. But of course, of course, all this was just a lead-up to the big prize of the night,

the Patriot of the Year. Oh, who's it going to be? Who's it going to be? No, don't tell me. Don't tell me. I want to be surprised. Okay, tell me. Nope. Don't tell me. I want to find out like everyone else. Roll the clip, Minnie. Join me and welcoming Fox Nation's Patriot of the Year, the First Lady of the United States of America, Melania Trump.

Wow. Wow. Melania won just a year after her husband. The husband won the exact same award? What are the chances? What? What? That is so crazy. It's official. They are awards royalty.

The Trumps are now up there with the copulas, some of the Culkins and the Jillins Hall. And Melania wasted no time doing the most patriotic thing she could do, plugging her movie. The silver screen and I have been in deep conversation. conversation lately. You may have heard the news. I produced a new film with MGA, Amazon MGM named Melania, capturing my life, my business, my philanthropy, fostering the future, building my East Wing team, and of course, caring for my

family. It was the perfect speech with definitely the correct amount of syllables. And by the way, such a classy move to shout out her East Wing team after they were all buried alive during the demolition. RIP. RIP. So fun. It's so fun. It's fun. We have so much fun. That's your award show wrap-up. I mean, I can't wait until next year. I hear they're trying to get Jason Aldean. Oh. Do you think he'll be available? I don't know. Is there anything in this cup? No, but cheers. Thank you, Desi and Troy.

When we come back, Rob Wiggled will be joining me on the show. Don't go around. Welcome back to the Daily. My guest tonight is not only an actor and comedian Again, he's a former Daily Show correspondent and a U.S. Marine Corps veteran. His new memoir is called Grit, Spit, and Never Quit, a Marines guide to comedy and life.

Please welcome back, Rob Workle. Thank you. You guys have made some seriously awesome upgrades to this place. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. What's it like to be back? It's awesome. Yeah. Really, this place looks amazing compared to the dump it was back in the day. But that one little kitchenette area is still the same. Yeah. I did notice that, which I kind of appreciate it. It'll never change. It'll never change. That old crusty coffee pot. So that was nice. It was crusty when you were here, too. It was crusted. Now, thank you so much.

much for joining me. Thank you so much for coming. I've been watching you for so long. I actually, without knowing it, I went on like a Rob Riggle marathon. I had watched Stepbrothers, The Hangover, and just lots of episodes of Martin family. And I felt wild because I was like, man, is something going on in my life where the same person is in everything? Like, yeah, I think you could write a thesis on that. I think someone I did write a thesis on, like, Michael Cain, you know. At any given time, you can catch a Michael Cain film. Oh, you're blowing my mind.

Yeah, exactly. We're about to get Matrix level, weird. Yeah, yeah. Oh, so you have this book, and you are not only, you know, a veteran of the Daily Show, but Marine Corps veteran and everything. I'm curious, what is it like to do comedy and be in the military? because in just my experience, really just speaking for myself, most comedians are cowards.

Yeah, you know, people do ask that question or form of that question a lot, which is, you know, the military and comedy, how does that, you know, how does that jive? It doesn't. They're two totally separate lanes. But I do think that there is some crossover as far as like the intangibles go, you know, the mindset. You know, working in comedy and a life in the arts.

you're going to be rejected, you're going to hear the word no, you're going to be knocked down, you're going to be told you're no good, you're going to run into obstacles nonstop, it's a hard life, there's no money. That's very similar to the Marine Corps. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, there's a lot of parallels in that regard, but I do think the Marines did give me certain things, like the proper mindset, the right mindset, that you just don't quit, make that decision before you start, and chances are good things will happen. Yeah, no, that makes sense, because it feels like in the Marines you would get the sort of literal version of everything comedy gives you as a metaphor. Like, when I get knocked down, someone didn't laugh. I didn't actually get hit.

Like, that is wild because even in your story, like your personal story in the book, it's like at 24 you decide you were going to do comedy. And so you made it work with the military, but at the same time you wanted to be on S&L. and you had, like, set this goal to be on S&L, and then you did it at, like, the 10-year mark or something, right? Yeah, yeah. It was, well, I was in flight school, and I'll try to give you the Reader Digest version of this story because it's long, but, matter of fact, it's right here in this book, everybody.

Oh! Just shameless, shameless. No, but it is convenient to have it right here. It is very nice to have it. It's so good. No, I was in the, again, Reader's Digest version. I was in the Marine Corps. I was flying planes down to Corpus, Christi, Texas.

I had a friend of mine who was up in Chicago doing improv, and he said, Riggled, this is what we did in college, only it has a name. It's called Improv, and I think you're good at it. I think you're better than some of the people up here. Well, that's exactly what I needed to hear at that moment, because flight school was fine, but I wasn't loving it. It was just fine.

And once I pinned those wings on, I was in for 10 years. I was locked in. Then I figured, oh, my God, I'll probably do 20 at that point. Why would I get out? It's such a, uh-huh. So all of a sudden, I was like, that's happening, you know? Well, I sat down and had my quarter-life crisis, as they call it, and I said, what do I really, really want to do with my life?

And I said, I think I want to be a comedian. Now, mind you, I had never done anything comedically. I know no one in the business. I'd never been on stage. I never really done anything. But I just had this burning desire to do it. So I quit flight school, became, went to the ground side on the Marines, which allowed me to, you know, fulfill my contract with the Marines and then moved to Chicago.

And I ended up getting to New York, taking classes, working seven years grinding at every place around town, any place I could get stage time, studying with the UCB, all these things. Ended up deploying, going to Kosovo, ended up going to Afghanistan, working on 9-11 down on the rubble piles. Ended up doing a bunch of things. And sure enough, 10 years, almost to the day that I wrote down in the book, the, the book I was reading at the time I wrote down on the book if I quit flight school I'm going to do what number one get on SNL almost 10 years to the day that I wrote

that I got a call from Lauren Michaels asking me to join us now so yeah that's incredible yeah that's like like that's truly truly remarkable because plenty of people have like plans ideas for what they want to want to do they might even write them down and then 10 years later they're like that's where I left that piece a paper, you know what I mean? Like you, yeah, you made it happen. And in the book, you talk about how there's like this sort of like inner drill sergeant that gets you to do the things that you don't want to do. How do you, how do you, without getting yelled at, managed to create that drill sergeant for yourself? Well, I think everybody needs a drill sergeant in their life

of some form, a coach. You can call it whatever you want to call it. And if you're lucky enough to have someone in your life external to you to remind you, hey, get up, go work out, go read that book, pick up the phone and call that person you're avoiding because you don't think it's the right time or that you know, if somebody's pushing

you, you have a chance of doing it. For the most of us, we just don't have anybody pushing us. And you never will. That's what most people don't realize. You're never going to have any push. You have to be your own drill instructor. You have to be. So I've had many conversations with myself. And I learned that voice came out and it came out in the

form of a drill instructor because if I was being honest with myself, I was being lazy. I was being, I was afraid. These are the reasons that I didn't do the things that I know I should be doing. And so it took a drill instructor tone to get me off my butt to go do what I needed to do. And I remember I was on 31st and 7th. I had just taught an improv class and I knew I was going to be invited to audition for S&L. And I needed to develop the characters for my audition but I was exhausted I had been up I'd I had done PT physical training with the Marines that morning since 5 a.m. so you know it was 9 o'clock 10 o'clock in night I was tired I just wanted to go home and have a

burrito and go to bed and I had to stand on the corner of 31st and 7th screaming at myself out loud so I'm not uncommon in New York by the way and I stood there and I argued with myself and I was like go go down to the UCB it's open mic you do sign up for five minutes and just work out a character. I don't have anything to do. I don't even have a character. I don't care. Go make what up? I'm having an argument with myself, right? This is what you do, improvise a character. Just come up with, I don't even care what you do.

So I lost the argument with my drill instructor, and I went down. I didn't go home. I went down to the UCB, and I created two characters that night that I ended up using in my audition, and then I ended up getting the thing. But I could easily, I can make excuses all day. I'm very good at it. I could have easily gone home. I could have said, I'll start to I'm tired. Let's call it a day. But sometimes you've got to kick your own butt. No, that makes a lot of sense.

And to me, it's also just such a phenomenal outlook, because now when I'm on the subway, I'll be like, maybe that's just his inner drill instructor coming out. Right? Yeah, right? You might look at folks a little different. I'll move with less fear.

You know what I mean? Exactly. Yeah. So do you find that these sort of lessons that you took away from the military, and, you know, you were doing comedy while you were still serving and everything, but, like, do you think that the overlap is, like, incredibly strong, or do you think it was just strong because of your approach to comedy and your personality? With regard to me being in the Marines and... Yeah, yeah, because the way that you marry these parallels together in the book is really interesting. And there are ways I've never thought about it. I've been doing comedy for a while. Like, you know, we even have a bit of a similar track, except mine included no military.

But I sort of, you know, started comedy in Chicago, moved to New York, all that stuff, and did some improv classes and everything. And, yeah, I guess there's something about your approach in the book that, seems so personal even though you're applying it in this in this broad way yeah i think there's well going back to you know uh i think there's a lot of intangibles i think the you know the it's a mindset thing i think if you choose a life in the arts it's going to be an uphill battle and you're you're you're never going to feel quite satisfied and you're always going to be self-judging and you you really it requires a lot of um uh mental maybe or emotional maybe or

fortitude because you're going to you're going to just run into walls and obstacles nonstop and you have to really believe in what you're doing and you have to love what you're doing to overcome those things because it's big the temptation to quit is way too easy way too easy and yeah and then you if you get that mindset and you you put a little if you put the right ingredients in I think good things will come there is no secret to success it's not a secret it's it's what you would expect it just kind of sucks it's it's hard work it's discipline it's consistency it's getting back up when you get knocked down it's not taking no for an answer it's just continue to grind continue to seek every

opportunity you can't continue to grow find ways to grow don't let people define you you define you all the cliches that are out there they didn't just fall from the sky they they appeared because of this has been tried and true you're in and out year after year after year for millennia Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. And then do you, I guess your transition fully to sort of civilian life from being in the military and everything you said was an easier thing for you because you had lanes that you, like, kept things in? Like you had sort of mindsets for when you were in one thing and the other. Do you have advice for veterans who are having trouble with that, like, adjustment back to civilian life?

Yeah, you know, I do work with a lot of veterans' organizations. and one of the problems we're seeing with a lot of our Afghan and Iraq veterans, you know, we have a suicide problem with a lot of our veterans. It's because they isolate themselves. They refuse to reach out, and it's, I don't know how you want to classify it, but it's not uncommon really among first responders or veterans or anybody, really. It's hard to put your hand in the air and say, I need help. But that's the one thing you should do and you need to do because when you isolate, you start a path downhill and it becomes very, very hard.

So if there are veterans out there that are transitioning back to civilian life or whatever and looking for, you know, don't isolate. There's all kinds of amazing organizations out there to help you. You've got a great set of skills that you learned in the military. Just bring them forward because they will apply. Even if it's not a direct application, just trust that, you know, if you've got the fortitude that you learned in the military, it'll carry over into civilian life, too. I ask everyone that I interview, you know, when we start to wrap up the interview, if we could do it in a way that is a little bit special, just you and I, right? And I noticed, you know, from when I saw you backstage and when you came out that, you know, you're a big guy. You're like a strong guy and everything.

I actually asked them to make sure your seat was a little lower so we'd be more level. I believe it. And so, you know, you're too big to arm wrestle. I've got to bring you down to my level, but I do text a lot.

So what about a thumb wrestle? Does that... Yeah, okay. Okay, all right. Okay. Oh, your hands are huge. Okay. All right.

Now, do you do the whole count on? We can do the count off. Okay, all right, ready? One, two, three, four. I announced a thumb war. Right, is that how you? And then I go like that. Oh, I thought it was going to be the like five, six, seven, eight thing.

But we can... You're going to use that? Uh-huh, uh, not, uh, okay. Oh, oh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh.

Huh. No, no. No. No. Get spit and never quit is available now. Rod Riggle. We're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. That's our show for the night.

Now here it is, the moment of Zen. One moment when Donald Trump turned to his assistant and said, go get me my phone. See. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Ready? Boop. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on

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