The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Trump's Impeachment Trial Kicks Off with Arguments and Excuses | Kim Ghattas

Episode Date: January 23, 2020

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman reportedly hacks Jeff Bezos's phone, Congress members clash at President Trump's Senate trial, and Kim Ghattas discusses "Black Wave." Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News, listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17th. January 22nd, 2020.

From Comedy Central's World News headquarters in New York,. This is the Daily Show with Trevor Noah. Ears Edition. Welcome to the Daily Show, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you for coming out. Thank you all for coming out. Thank you for coming out. Let's do this thing, everybody. Take a seat. I'm Trevor Noah, our guest tonight is a journalist and an author here with a new book about

the Cold War between Saudi Arabia and Iran. Kim Gatas is joining us everybody. Also on tonight's show, senators are sleeping through impeachment. Arizona has invented time travel and step aside Ebola, there's a new virus in town. So let's catch up on today's headlines. Let's kick it off with some health news. If you're a fan of the first 10 minutes of those movies where everyone in the world dies, well then you're gonna love this next clip.

Federal health officials on high alert as a new virus emerges out of China. Over the weekend the number of people infected more than tripled. The deadly coronavirus makes its way to the United States. A man in his 30s diagnosed five days after returning home to Seattle from Wuhan China., all passengers arriving from Wuhan will be funneled through five major US airports where heightened health screenings will be in place. Wash your hands or use a hand sanitizer,

especially before touching your face, since that's how the virus gets into the body. Wash your hands? No, here's a thing. Scientists always warn us about some new, weird death virus. And we're like, what's the thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho-tha, thi, tho-a, thoom? tho-a, th. tho-a, tho-a, tho-a, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to too? too? toeean, tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. toe? th. th. thing. Scientists always warn us about some new weird death virus, and we're like, what's the plan? They're like, uh, wash your hands. That's not a plan. There's an outbreak and all you're saying is wash your, I've never seen a zombie movie where they're like, ah, they're coming! Ah, they're coming! Okay, we're good.

Okay, we're good, we're good. We're good. We're good. No, but for, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's there. There's there. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There, there. There. There. There, there. There. There. There. There. There. There. There, there. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. th. th. th. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. there's there's there's there's there's there. No, but for real, though, you should wash your hands, because even though the coronavirus sounds like a hangover you get off the Cinco de Mayo, it's actually a serious respiratory illness that spreads quickly and can be fatal. But just by the way, why does the news always put up a picture of the disease? Why do they do that? Like, it's a biological mug shot. Who does this help? They always do this. Like, none of us is walking around with a microscope like, guys, I saw the virus on the way to work. Let's go out there and smoke this fool. All right, let's move on to a story involving Jeff Bezos, Amazon billionaire, and if James Bond were played by a vibrator. A year ago, Bzos's marriage fell apart after someone hacked his phone

and revealed that he was having an affair. And now, there's a shocking revelation about who the hacker might be. We're learning new details of an extraordinary claim that Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos's phone was hacked by Saudi Arabia. The Guardian reports an investigation ordered by Bezos blames the hacking on a personal message that apparently came from Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. According to the Financial Times, the Hacks roots trace back to Bezos and Bin Salman exchanging phone numbers in Los Angeles. Weeks later, says Britain's the Guardian paper, Bezos and the Crown Prince were engaged

in a seemingly friendly WhatsApp exchange when Bin Salman sent an unsolicited malware infected file. It's unclear what information was then taken. Whoa! They're saying the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia personally hacked Jeff Bezos's phone. If that's true, that would be very hands-on for the rule of a country. Like, normally people have someone else do that for them, although I guess it must be hard to hire a hacker in a country where everyone is also a billionaire prince.

Yeah. It's like, as your prince, I command you to hack Jeff Bessos. Well, as your prince, I command you to get me some potato chips. OK, fine, fine, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, 'll do it myself. Seriously, I can't imagine any other world leader micromanaging that much. Because this would be like Trump going down to the border himself to vet immigrants. Just like, no, no, no, no, Miguel, no. Yes, Lupe. No way, Jose, get it. Get it, ha ha ha. Get it.

So funny. And look, I'm not gonna lie. The fact that Jeff Bezos can get hacked means that there's no hope for any of us. I mean, he's the number one tech guy in the world. It'd be like finding out Mr. Peanut died from a peanut allergy. That's the one person that shouldn't happen to. And I don't know Saudi Arabia, they just pissed off the head of Amazon.

Good luck getting your deliveries now. Yeah, Saudi guys are going to be like, okay, there were supposed to be a public stoning today, but the stones still haven't arrived. So instead, we're going to use donuts from the break room. Ah, did you learn your lesson? Not yet. And finally finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, the thi finally, thiiiiuu, thi, th, thi, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th. th, th, th, th, th. th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. tha. tha.a. tha. tha. tha.a. thoa. tha. tha. tha. tha, yet. All right, and finally, some news from the Democratic primary. Pete Budajjjjjj, former South Bend Mayor and Glass of Skim Milk who wished to be a real boy.

Had a moment on the trail there was a bit of a Jebbush, please clap moment. Things are getting just a little awkward on the campaign trail for Mayor Pete Budejajj. So can I look to you you to you to you to you to to to to to to to to to the thii thi thi thi thi thi thi th th th th th th th th thi thi thi th th th th th th th th some the some thu the th some th some th some th some th some th some some th some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some the. the. the. thine thine the. thine. thine. thine. thine. thine. thine thine thine thine thine Mayor Pete Budajedge. So can I look to you to spread that sense of hope to those that you know? Come on. Okay that is super embarrassing for two reasons. Firstly you should never have to ask an audience to cheer for you like for something you've said. Am I right, folks? What? What are you doing? These guys are a bunch of sheep, am I right? Because like basically what Budige is there, like you can't ask for the

pretty, that's like classic Uber driver. You give me five stars, yes? Five stars? And secondly, secondly, it's embarrassing because I've never noticed, but Pete Budajejjjj has a pretty weird laugh. Just listen again. Ha ha ha ha. It sounds like Krusty the clown. It sounds like if Krusty was running for a present, vote for me. I'm not going to lie. Pete Budajez, if you want to be president, you need to work on your

laugh. Because you don't realize this, but a bad laugh can totally ruin your image. I don't care who you are. This will be a day long remembered. It has seen the end of Kenobi. It will soon see the end of the rebellion. I rest my case. All right, that's it for the headlines. Let's move on to our top story. Impeachment. It's democracies control out, delete.

We're just two days into the trial of Donald Jasmine Trump, and things have already gotten off to a contentious start. So, let's catch up on the latest developments in another installment of The Magical Wonderful Road to Impeachments. So, today was the day that Democrats began to lay out their case against the president. So today was the day that Democrats began to lay out their case against the President. But last night, fights were already breaking out about whether this trial should even be happening in the first place. Opening arguments begin early this afternoon and we're expecting a very fierce debate over why the president should and shouldn't be removed from office. Republicans want this all over by the

state of the union address in two weeks. Democrats say not so fast. Why are we here? Are we here because of a phone call? We are here, sir, to follow the facts, apply the law, be guided by the Constitution, and present the truth to the American people. That is why we are here, Mr. Seculo. And if you don't know, now you know. Oh! And if you don't know, now you know. That's right, Congressman Hakeem Jeffries just quoted Biggie on the floor of Congress.

The only thing I wish is that he'd used the entire line. That would have been amazing. It was like, if you don't know, now you know, nigger. Because if that happened, black people would have been out celebrating in the street. It would have been MLK Day Part 2, all of us out there like, you know very well who you are. But I gotta say, man, hip hop has come a long way. Think about it. In the 80s and 90s, it was considered gangster music and now it's being quoted in an impeachment trial. Huh, that's how far hip hop has come.

Think about that. That's that. That's how far hip hop has come. Think about that. That's insane. Hip hop just keeps going. I bet it's only a matter of time before like Mitch McConnell responds with a rap lyric of his own. He's like, my name is Mitch and I don't have a jaw. I love the Senate and saying, ma'am. Now, the reason things got so heated yesterday is because Democrats tried 10 different times

to get new witnesses and evidence into this impeachment trial, and the Republicans shot them down each and every time. There hasn't been that much rejection in D.C. since Stephen Miller went speed dating. Now, one of the main witnesses, Democrats really hope will testify, is former Trump advisor and grumpy Captain Crunch, John Bolton. But when the president was asked about it this morning, he had a list of reasons why he doesn't want Bolton to testify. In regards to the proceedings going on in the Senate, are you absolutely against John

testifying? The problem with John is that it's a national security problem. You can't have somebody who's at national security and if you think about it, John, he knows some of my thoughts. He knows what I think about leaders. What happens if he reveals what I think about a certain leader and it's not very positive and that I have to deal on behalf of the country. It's going to be very hard. It's going to make the job very hard. He knows other things. And I don't know if we left on the best terms, I would say probably not.

You know, one thing I enjoy about Trump is that he will give you every excuse all at the same time. Right? He'll start with the fake excuse, but then 'll just keep going until you learn the real reasons. Just like, sadly we can't hear from Bolton because it's a national security threat. And also he'll reveal what I think about other world leaders and also he hates my guts and also he'll implicate me in the crimes that I committed. So many reasons. Because let's be real, let's be real.

I don't think it's a big deal if Bolton reveals what Trump thinks of other world leaders. Because Trump already tells everyone what he thinks of world leaders. He'll even do it while they're standing right next to him. He'd be with Macron like, I just had a very productive meeting with this little French bitch over here. So Bolton may or may not appear at Trump's impeachment trial. But even if he does, even if he appears, there's a good chance that the senators won't hear what he's saying at all.

Because based on yesterday, half of them are already checked out. At least seven senators were spotted Tuesday wearing Apple watches. That's a no-no. Rand Paul played a crossword puzzle. A big no-no. Shortly after 5.30 p.m. Senator James Risch, the Republican of Idaho, could be seen motionless eyes closed and head slumping against his right hand. Rich was the first lawmaker seen by Washington Post reporters to have clearly fallen asleep.

It's a bit like a college lecture hall. Some of them are busily taking notes. Some of them look bored, the their their their their their their taking notes. Some of them look bored out of their minds. And if they're thirsty, we're told that only two beverages are allowed on the Senate floor, water and milk. Yeah. Some senators are playing with their Applewatches, others are solving crossroads, and worst of all, a senator from Idaho fell asleep.

Like, asleep, asleep. Because you know you've been sleeping for a long time when an artist has time to sketch your portrait. That's sleep. But I'll be honest, I get why some of these senators are struggling. They're sitting there for long hours, up to 12 hours late into the night and they're only allowed to drink milk or water to stay energized. That's a tough situation. I mean, it was a tough situation because luckily there's a new product out that could help them out. When you're stuck on the Senate floor for 12 hours at a time, you need a pick me up. But you're only allowed to drink milk. You have no options.

Until now. Introducing impeach milk. It's the only milk fortified with caffeine, emphetamines, and just a little bit of cocaine. So you can get your impeach on. I'd fulfill your constitutional duties to the max. Yeah! Ready to impeach. With impeach milk, you'll have the energy to render judgment all night long.

So get some impeach milk and get jacked up on justice. Desilatican Roywood, June, everybody. We'll be right back. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60

Minutes a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17th. Welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight is an Emmy award-winning journalist and best-selling author whose new book is called Black Wave, Saudi Arabia, Iran, and the 40-year rivalry that unraveled culture, religion, and collective memory in the Middle East. Please welcome, Kim Ratas. Welcome to the Daily Show. Thanks for having me. Straight off the plane from Beirut. Really?

Yes. Wow, okay. So it's like the freshest take on the Middle East then? Yes. We couldn't have a freshest take. It really is an interesting time right now because more than ever it feels like Saudi Arabia is in the news. More than ever it feels like Iran is in the news. More than ever it feels like Iran is in the news. And the one question I would like to start this off with is a lot of the time the

conversation in and around the Middle East is seen through the prism of America. It's how America sees the Middle East and it's how Americans see the Middle East. But how does the Middle East? their the Middle East? You know you have a section at the moment. War War war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war war. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the middle east? the Middle East? is a the Middle East. the Middle East is a the Middle East is a the Middle East is a the Middle East is a the Middle East is? is? is a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the moment, war in the Middle East, it's persiional? Yes. Well, it is very personal, right? If you live in Beirut, if you live in Baghdad, if you live in Cairo, it's very personal what's going on at the moment. It involves uprisings, it involves protests. It involves the killing of Qasim Suimani, of course, the head of the Iranian Kutz force, part of the Iranian Iranian Iranian the Iranian, Islamic Revolutionary Guards. That strike was ordered by President Trump.

And I know that here in the US, the concern was, oh my God, President Trump is taking us to war. This strike is crazy. But if you look at it from the Middle Eastern side, we kind of are already in constant upheaval and constant war. And for a lot of people in the region who are afraid of Iran's regional ambitions and its proxy militias, they act in countries like Iraq and Lebanon and Syria. The assassination of Qasim Sulaymani was a welcome thing and a lot of people celebrated.

So there's a debate, a political debate here about whether what Trump does is good or bad for the country and the Democrats are very critical of him. In the Middle East, we look at it, is this good for us or not. It is interesting because the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, thi, thr. th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thr. thr. thr. thr. throoooooooooooooooooan, teea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. thr. the. te and the Democrats are very critical of him. In the Middle East, we look at it, is this good for us or not? It is interesting because in the region, one thing that I think a lot of people don't realize is that no group, no country is homogenous. Because even within Iran, there were people who were mourning the death of Soleimani, and then there were those who were completely against what Iran was doing in retaliation. I mean, when the plane was shot down with the passengers, you know, that was a big uprising against the Iranian government. This book, though, is really interesting because it really lays it out,

in, if I may be so bothers to say, in a simple way. You know, where you talk about why Saudi Arabia and Iran began this proxy war and this cold war between each other. What do you think is the inciting incident? 1979, that is the turning point in the Middle East. That is the year when Iran had a revolution and became a theocracy. And I don't mind that you call it simple,

because this book is really not just for experts. It is for your audience. It is for people in the United States. It's for anyone who wants to understand to the Middle East and wants to go beyond the headlines about tyrants and terrorists. This is 40 years of history, seven countries, and 15 incredible people whose lives are upended by the politics and the geopolitics.

People like you and me who've had difficult past, difficult childhoods. And when you tell their stories, you can really get to the heart of the geopolitics and you can explain the bigger picture in a much more accessible way. And the key of the book is to try to explain why the Saudi Iran rivalry is so enduring and why it is of huge consequence to the world security and America's security. When you look at the relationship between Saudi Arabia and the U.S., especially under Trump, there's no denying that in many ways it feels like Saudi really has a hold on Donald Trump. You know, he loves to work with them slash for them.

And maybe of his phone. Right, they may have his phone now. That's what people are wondering about Kushner and the WhatsApp. When you look at Saudi Arabia, especially under bin Salman, you have a ruler who is lauded on one end as being you know, really reformer. Reformer. The person who's changing the way things are in Saudi Arabia. Women can drive and we're trying to become more liberal and we're trying to just, you know, modernize the country.

At the same time, though, there's the killing of journalists and now it looks like the hacking of people. the the the the the the people.. the people. the people. the people. And the people. And the people. the the people. the th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho, thi. thi. And now, thi. thi. thi. The thi. The thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. The people. The people. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi. th thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi you have any insight into that? Yeah, I'll say two things. One, he is a reformer when it comes to social and cultural norms in the country. Inside Saudi Arabia, women can drive, but some of them are also in jail because they campaigned for the driving. He wants the credit for allowing women to drive, not the activists. the people also help carry out the murder, journalist, Jamal Khashoggi, who was a friend and whose story is one of the stories I tell in Black Wave. But he's a reformer only to some extent, even within the country. You know, a lot of the traditional values are still there.

I think the conservative values and the very narrow understanding of his religion and Islam have been untouched. So you could say that his reforms are very far-reaching, but also smoke and mirrors. The second part of it is my theory is that Mohammed bin Salman and Saudi Arabia would actually like to be a little bit more like Iran. Whatever you think of Iran,

they have a very successful regional strategy. They have proxy militias. They have very thelis. And they've been doing thoffiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, th, th, th, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. tooi. tooi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, they have very loyal allies, and they manage this very well, and they've been doing it for 40 years, and they are feared and respected. And that's something that Sojuryab has never quite managed, despite all the money that it throws at its allies. It doesn't buy the same kind of loyalty. So I think Mohammed M-Salem-Sal-Avah-Mah-Nah-I think thii. region a little bit more like Iran, a little bit more like Qasim Sulemani, and I know that that's going to upset a lot of people in both countries, but I pull no punches. I really, I'm an equal opportunity critic and I think both countries have done a lot of

damage in the Middle East. It's, it really is a fascinating look at how the Middle East came to be in many ways. Before we go, if you're looking at what happened with Suimanianianiani. the Iran. I, the Iran. I, the Iran. I, the Middle, the Middle, the Middle, the, the, the, the, they. And, they. If, they. If, they. If, th. If, th. If, th. I's, th. I'm, th. I'm, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the, I the, I the, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm they. I'm th. I'm not. I'm not. I'm th. And, th th th th th th th th th th th th toe toe th toe th th toe th th th th th you're looking at how Iranians are reacting to it, you know, both the leaders speaking out and and those in Parliament, for instance. Is there any indication of how Iran is going to move forward from what has happened? I wrote about 40 years of history here. It took me 40 years to figure out what it happened in 1979. So I hope you'll invite me back on your show in 40 years from now. Wow. But what tell you is that I think there's something coming undone in the region. 40 years after 1979, people are protesting not only in Iran, but also in Iraq and in my own country of Lebanon. People are protesting corruption, they're protesting mismanagement of their countries, of their economies. They want a different future. They want what everybody wants.

They want hope, they want dignity, they want justice. And I think that Iranians want that, too. And I think that we are capable in the region of getting there without outside help. I think we can do it. It costs a lot of lives. But I think the younger generation is ready to let go of this very difficult past and forge a different path forward. Well, here's to hoping you're right.

Thank you so much for being on the show. Black Wave goes on sale January 28th and is available for free order right now. Kim Kataz everybody. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Show with Covenoa, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show.com. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television.

Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17.