The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Trump's Second Impeachment - Week One

Episode Date: February 14, 2021

In Donald Trump's impeachment trial for inciting insurrection, his attorneys give dismal performances, and Republicans tune out while Democrats show shocking footage of the Capitol riot. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17th. Donald J. Trump, unemployed Twitter bot and former president of the United States.

Today, Trump became the only president ever to face a second impeachment trial, which is pretty impressive when you consider he only showed up to work about half of the time. I mean, if Trump really applied himself as president, we could be on impeachment number 35 by now. And the trial kicked off today with Democrats presenting a video, which showed Trump's speech on January 6th, interspersed with scenes of violence from his supporters. We're gonna walk down and I'll be there with you. We're gonna walk down, we're gonna walk down,

we're gonna walk down to the Capitol. Take the Capitol. Take the Capitol. We are going to to the Capitol the Capitol the Capitol the Capitol to the Capitol. We to the Capitol. We to to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to the Capitol. We're going to to the Capitol. We're going to to to the Capitol. We're the Capitol. We're the Capitol. We're the Capitol. Yeah! Take the Capitol. Take it. Take the Capitol. We are going to the Capitol where our problems are. U.S. U.S. S.

to get it. Let us do it. That's enough. That's enough. There's more coming. Wow. Wow, what a powerful video that Republican senators didn't see because they pretended to go to the bathroom. But you can definitely tell that this impeachment is the sequel because the sequel always has to turn things up to 11.

The original impeachment was like, listen to this diplomat, describe a phone call as you ponder the meaning of quid pro quo. But this impeachment is like, Listen to this diplomat, describe a phone call as you ponder the meaning of quid pro quo. But this impeachment is like, Michael Bay presents, bomb, bomb, bomb, impeachment two. We're storming the Capitol! Ah, da, da, gaga, g-da-de-de-de-a-de-e. But after the video, it was the Trump defense team's turn to make their best possible case. Although, based on how it went today, I'm worried that Trump is gonna get the chair.

My name is Bruce Castor. I am the lead prosecutor, or lead counsel for the 45th president of the United States. I was an assistant DA for such a long time. I keep saying prosecutor, but I do understand the difference, Mr. Raskin. I don't want to steal the thunder from the other lawyers, but Nebraska, you're going to hear, is quite a judicial thinking place. My parents had on a record. And we still know what records are, right? On the thing you put the needle down on and you play it. And the other

day when I was down here in Washington, I came down earlier in the week to try to figure out how to find my way around. I worked in this building 40 years ago. I got lost then and I still do. The founders recognized that the argument that I started with that he talks about gallant men who is the name of the of the album. Good Lord. Trump's lawyer is giving the speech you give when you have to stall because the actual lawyer are stuck in traffic. Trump is probably watching this at home like, What the hell is wrong with this guy? The air on the side of the bus said that he was the best.

Why would he be on a bus if he's not the best? Although I will say this, the fact thing. It doesn't actually matter what this guy says. He could get up there and trim his pubs for hours because the jury has already reached its verdict. In just the last hour, the Senate voted that the impeachment trial of former President Donald Trump can move forward. Six Republicans joined with Democrats in a 56 to 44 vote saying the impeachment trial is constitutional. The question though is would there in

any scenario be enough Republicans to cross the aisle to vote to convict the former president, Donald Trump, and given that just six cross the aisle here on this vote today and they'll need 17 to do that in order to convict him, it doesn't look like the impeachment managers are going to be able to get there. That's right, people. Before this trial even started, almost every Republican juror has made it clear that they don't want a trial at all.

And I get it. I get why Republicans voted this way. Because on the one hand, they work and could have killed them. Yes, but on the other hand, everyone hates jury duty. Although honestly, I don't know why some of these senators are even allowed to be on the jury. It was my understanding that saying crazy shit like, I want to overthrow the government was how you got out of jury duty. And I know that this vote might make the trial seem pointless now. Yes. But just because we know how the trial will end, doesn't mean the trial shouldn't take place.

I mean, when you're watching law and order, right, you turn it off in the first five minutes when the cops interview a dentist who obviously killed his patient to cover up an affair. Of course not. You watch their case for why President Trump should be held responsible for inciting the capital riots of January 6th.

And between Trump's many speeches, interviews and tweets, the prosecutors had a mountain of evidence at their disposal. It's basically a slam-dunk case. I mean, this would be like having a murder suspect who left his DNA at the scene, dropped a bloody glove, and fled the scene in a Ford Bronco. There would be no way you couldn't convict that guy. It would be a... Wait, that happened? Now, in addition to the evidence against Trump, prosecutors showed harrowing, never before

seen footage of the attack on the Capitol Capitol and the violence inflicted on Capitol Police. So, we all expected the Democrats to present a competent, compelling case. But what nobody expected was that Trump's lawyers would be so terrible. They never addressed key issues. They went off on meandering tangents. One guy cried while reading a poem. It was going so badly for the Republicans, I thought Ted Cruz was gonna start another insurrection just to change the subject.

In fact, when Trump's lawyers were done, some of the harshest criticism came from Republican senators on their own team. Senator Lindsey Graham, one of Trump's biggest allies, saying, I thought I would figure out where he was going, but in the end, I don't know where he was going. Senator Susan Collins said I was perplexed by that first lawyer who seemed to not make any arguments at all.

The first lawyer just rambled on and on and on and didn't really address the constitutional argument. President's Trump's team were disorganized. They did everything they could but to talk about the question at hand. And when they talked about it, they kind of glided over it, almost as if they were embarrassed of their arguments. Now, if I'm an impartial juror, and one side is doing a great job, and the other side's doing a terrible job, and the good job. Why do you think the Trump defense team did a terrible time?

Did you listen to it? I did. Okay, then you, it speaks for itself. God damn. Bill Hader's dead is pissed. And I would be too. Trump's lawyers were so bad thrown to be impartial. Nobody should be forced to have an open mind. Seriously, though, do you know how bad a job those lawyers had to do

that even Lindsay Graham turned on them? He wants to be on their side. That's like drawing something so bad that your kindergarten teacher roast you for it. Okay, Billy, you know I want to like this, but this is dog shit, my man. This doesn't look like a flower at all. In fact, I gotta show this to the other kids. Kids, everybody come together.

Yo, look at this bitch-ass flower that Billy drew. Oh my God, Bill, you're so dumb. Now, of course, nobody was more upset by Trump's shitty lawyers than the man who was never going to pay them anyway. Donald J. Trump. Sources familiar with Mr. Trump's reaction told CBS News he was angry with his lawyers lackluster performance, which at times rambled on. At one point nearly yelling at his television while Bruce Castor was making his case. That's right. Trump was reportedly yelling at the TV while watching his shitty lawyers make their opening arguments. Although, to be fair, Trump also yells at the TV during commercials.

Good luck with your boner, Mr. Viagra. We're all rooting for you. Those four hours are going to be so much fun. But still, this is bad news for Trump's lawyers. Because Trump is a dude who will spend four hours at a rally ranking his favorite department store. If he thinks you're rambling, then you know you're fucked up. Luckily for these lawyers, we all know, and they know, that no matter how bad their defense is, they're still going to win this trial, which on the one hand, makes a mockery of the entire idea of accountability, but on the other hand, it's going to make for a very inspiring movie. To defend his impeachment, President Trump needed the best legal team in the country.

Instead, he got these guys. My name is Bruce Castor. I am the lead prosecutor, or lead counsel for the 45th president of the United States. They were two hopeless lawyers who didn't prepare, barely tried, and may not even have law degrees. The president was nearly yelling at his TV while he was watching the proceedings. I worked in this building 40 years ago. I got lost then and I still do. But they were about to find out that what matters isn't the strength of your case.

It's having a defendant whose party won't convict him no matter what. I'm ready to move on. I'm ready to end the impeachment trial because I think it's blatantly unconstitutional. It's simply beyond the constitutional authority of the Senate. President Trump is going to be acquitted. It's the impeachment trial critics are calling a sad moment for democracy and the founder's worst nightmare, underdog lawyers. A story of triumph against no odds. Words are what make our Constitution, frankly.

They sure do. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17th. was the final day of the Democrats presenting their case against Trump. And one of the more shocking revelations of the presentation has been the never-beforeseen

footage of the riots, which showed us just how close some senators came to meeting the world's worst tour group. House impeachment managers used graphic new video and audio to recreate moments from the capital siege. And some of that footage showed just how close lawmakers and their to recreate moments from the Capitol siege. And some of that footage showed just how close lawmakers and their staffers came to the pro-Trump mob that stormed the Capitol. Among the very close calls, this security video showing Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer being escorted by his security detail, then quickly turning around after spotting nearby rioters.

Another video shows Capitol Police Officer Eugene Goodman redirecting Senator Mitt Romney away from rioters just down the hall. All right, that is terrifying. There were so many rioters in so many parts of the Capitol that these senators were just running around like they were stuck in the weekends, half-time maze. And you can understand why Mitt Romney especially would be sprinting away from this mob. I mean, these are the people who were chanting, Hang Mike Pence.

Mike Pence, the man who spent the last four years eye-banging the back of Trump's head. So to them, Mitt Romney is basically Mormon AOC. I mean, I don't know what Mitt would have done if he had run into them. He would have had to try and blend in with them. Let's find these traitors! It's time to kill the deep state! I heartily agree, my good friends, and afterwards, let's go to the local confectionery and enjoy some vanilla milkshakes.

What? Great idea! This guy's all right. But this isn't an impeachment trial of a few thousand insane Q&on followers. No, this is the impeachment of Donald Trump. So once again today, the Democrats focused on how Donald Trump incited the riot. And what was really helpful was that the rioters themselves provided the evidence. Even after the attack, the insurrectionists made clear to law enforcement that they were just following President Trump's orders.

They didn't shy away from their crimes because they thought they were following orders from the commander-in-chief. We were invited here! We were invited here! We were invited by the President of the United States! There's a fucking million of us out there. If we are this week to Trump, you're the boss. Let's call Trump yes!

Dude, let's tell Trump what's up. We're fighting for Trump. Guys, come on. Don't call Trump in the middle of the riots. You just saw him at the rally a couple to be to be to be to be to be thi to be thi to be thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi the thi the thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi the thi the thi thi the thi. the thi' the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Wea th. Wea th. Wea thi. Wea thi. Wea thi. Wea thi. Wea thi. Wea thi. Wea theea theananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananan. We were thi. We call Trump in the middle of the riots. You just saw him at the rally a couple hours ago. You gotta be chill. You call the morning after the insurrection. You know, you gotta play the game. Also, how embarrassing is this for Trump.

Even his supporters knew they can call him any time, and he won't be busy. But overall, these videos make it pretty obvious that Trump incited the rioters. They were wearing Trump hats, carrying Trump flags, and they all just watched Trump speak, and they were chanting, Fight for Trump. I mean, that dog from Blues Clues is like, I need a challenge here, guys. We all know what this is, right? I mean, if one guy stormed the Capitol because he thought you said it to him, maybe you can just blame him. But if an entire stadium of people misunderstood you in the exact same way, I don't know, man.

That shit's on you. But if there's one theme of this trial, aside from Trump being super guilty, it's Republican senators not caring that Trump is super guilty. The new evidence and the dramatic recreation of the January 6th. Mayhem apparently did very little to sway most, most of of of of of th of th of th of most most most most of th of th of th of th of the Republican of th of th of th. the Republican of th. th. th. thiiolioli. thi. thi. thiolioliolioliolioliol-a the January 6th. Mayhem apparently did very little to sway most, most of those Republican senators, the jurors. Some of them are explicitly not listening, feet up on desks, they're reading books, they're reading briefing papers on other topics.

We are seeing more empty seats on the floor of the Senate. Our colleague Mani Raju was in the Senate chamber just a few moments ago. He counted up to 15 empty seats. While the Democrats were playing their video rioter stormy the Capitol, handful of Republican senators including Rick Scott, Tom Cotton, Marco Rubio, barely even looked at the screen according to reports and Rand Paul was looking down at a paper in his lap where he had begun doodling with a pencil. Okay, I'm sorry. That is so disrespectful. Hey, Rand Paul, why don't you show us what you were doodling instead of paying attention to the present time? Oh my God.

It's beautiful. Wow, you should have been an artist, Rand. You should have been an artist, Rand. These sentences are a jury for a trial of the president, but instead, they're acting like bored middle schoolers. What do Democrats have to do to make this interesting for them? Bring in one of those math teachers who wraps everything?

My name is Doug and I'm here to say, democracy was threatened in a major way. A boo-booch. The Daily Show with Keva, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.

But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts, starting September 17. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.