The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Vacations vs. Staycations | Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson

Episode Date: May 21, 2023

Hosts Dulcé Sloan and Josh Johnson go head-to-head about the best way to spend your time off: a vacation or staycation. Why sit at home for a long weekend when you can parasail off the beach of an all-inclusive resort? Why spend money on a trip when you can enjoy food and entertainment from the comfort of your own home? Original Air Date: July 7, 2022 Hold Up  is a podcast from The Daily Show. Listen to new episodes every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts, or watch at YouTube.com/TheDaily Show See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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We're not gonna be talking about any of that. We're talking about stuff that probably doesn't even matter at all to anybody but us. And we're talking about today, staycation versus vacation. Where do you stand? I'm not going to put this on you, I'm just saying that it seems to me like you are a vacation kind of gal. I'm a staycation dude, I'm a home body. Because for me, I'm just going to throw this out there, and this is not pointed, but just,

you're going to catch some base in my voice. Okay. You're going to catch some tone, okay? I cannot stand the fact that a a a that a that a that a tha, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, tha, I, I, tha, I, tha, tha, to, tha, I, I, to, to, tho, tho, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th.. tha, tha, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, tha, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm a, I'm a, I'm, I'm, that a vacation includes a trip to the airport, a trip to a bus station, a trip, like I like to already be places. I don't like to travel. People say they like traveling. You like to already be there. The airport is a nightmare. Okay, so you want to be able to teleport. That's what that sounds like. 100% percent. Because I'm sick of attacks like the actual social attacks at an airport that I have to go through to have a vacation it doesn't make any sense do you have clear and precheck

I have clear I have pre check but you know what sometimes those close I don't even know that was possible bro no nobody close them not only will they closed, they won't be open early enough. Then customs also closes as if planes don't land daily. So it's like, you should at least see, like, when's the earliest flight coming in from an international flight? Be open. When's the latest flight leaving? Be fucking open. Who invented this nonsense? We know who did it, but we won't have to talk about them. We know who did this. We know who did it. Have you considered taking a vacation in a car? Like, well, you don't drive. No, no, I can't drive. So, no, I have not considered

taking a vacation in a car. That would be a car accident almost immediately. Okay, what I think you should try, ooh, you can do like the best of both worlds. Like, you know, I remember when everybody was like, had left the city and was like, just took over the mountains of New, like, upstate New York and all these other places, like the poknos, which full disclosure, for most most most most most, their to to their to to to their to their toe, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, I's, their, their, their, thi, thi, to, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, to, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th.... And, I'm, t. And, t. And, t. t. the. the. try. thea. thea. thea. try. thea. try, try. tha life I thought was islands. I'm just finding out they're not islands right now. See? Don't they sound like islands? Yeah.

Yeah. They're fucking mountains. It also sounds like islands we don't fully understand. So it's like, oh, we're going to the Poconos. You're telling me it's a vacation. I'm hearing the word poker knows. I'm expecting fucking mountains in New York. That sounds crazy. Um, yeah.

Just landlocked. Just higher altitudes. Sounds nuts. Have you considered, because then you can get like the best of both worlds. You drive up to a cabin, and then you're staying in a cabin. So you're getting your stacation, but you're just not at your house. No, because at my home, I know where everything is. This cabin, this cabin, you know, how do we know there's not murders?

How do we know there's not somebody waiting? You know what I mean? The cabin is where the stuff happens from the movie. You're right, that's why I don't like going up there. I'll say for me, it depends. But I think because we have been in a panorama, a Panasonic, a Pandulse, a Popeyes for the past two years, my desire, because I'm a beach person, right? So like my family is from Miami, I was born there, we used to live there. So like for me, vacation means beach, period. Mm-hmm.

Don't look at me and go like, oh, we're going to like, somewhere there's not a beach. the beach for vacation. I'm gonna look at you like your nuts. You don't want to go to Montana, you don't want to, I mean, because here's the thing. What do I look like? The other thing about vacations that I can't stand is that there's a pressure to like have fun and do activities and and like really be out there. Whereas a staycation, and it's been chillish shit and we're doing whatever we're doing, whenever we do it. And then there's other people that want to give you like a full itinerary and itemized and I'm like, this is not relaxing.

Because I don't like to do this in my life. So it's like also like you'll go on vacation with people and they don't want to do this in my life so it's like also like you'll go on vacation with people and they don't want to spend money on food I'm like what it's like I've gone on vacations with people and it's like well I don't want to spend a bunch of money on food you're like like bitch what are you talking about like I'm gonna be like well we can just get maked on I am not eating any where I am not eating anywhere? I am not to to to to to their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they don't want they they don't want they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they don't they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they don't they don't they they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't want they don't want to to to to to th to the the the thy the the the the that they don't want they don't want they don't want they don't want they spend a bunch of money on food. You're like, bitch, what are you talking about? Like, I'm going to vacation, it's like, well, we can just get McDonald. I am not eating anywhere where I can eat, where I live. Do you want to know what that is, though? That is a staycation person going on vacation.

No, there's a broke person going at home. It's like I now, like when I go on vacation, I want a hotel room that has like even it's a kitchenette or something, right? Because like you want to be able to have like little snackies. And so you have a place that has like a little kitchen area so you can keep cold cuts, cold, okay, keeps cold cuts, nobody's eating hot cold cuts. That's how you get sick. You get some nice fruits, you bring you some watermelon, nice little treats, get you some cold drinks, and then you have a nice day on the beach. You are not about this. No, because you know what you're describing is home. No, ding-down. That's, that's, that's home to me. I already got the cold cuts. I already got the fruits the fruits the fruits the fruits the fruits the fruits the fruits the fruits the fruits the fruits the fruits the fruits th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. true. true. true. true. te home to me. I already got the cold cuts already got them cold not warm I already got the fruits and the veggies. I'm doing all of my my things at home and

This is the other thing about vacations is that people always end up doing my stuff out there. So then okay. That's just called being a person. I mean, you're all in Colombia to watch a Netflix to watch Colombian Netflix? I got my American Netflix. Listen, once it's like, because like when I went to Turks and Caicos, like a lot of those resort places, people have been at the beach all day long. They're probably going to be exhausted. So like some places don't, like, so it didn't have a lot of night life. It's like a family place. Like I had to meet people that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a family place. I had to meet people that lived there. Remember I told you one on that date that would just end up being a family outing?

Um, yeah. Right, just for the listeners, um, I went on a boat tour, was hanging out with like 20 middle-aged white people from New Jersey, uh, because they were also on the boat. We had a great time. But one of the guys that was working on the boat, I think I was like this, he wasn't the captain, captain was married because I would have gone for the captains. But, because you know, you've got to go for the niggin charge. Why would I go for the assistant? That sounds crazy. So, but he was a nice man. We hung out. He was like, okay. I was like, they. I. I. th. th. th. the they. I. th. they. th. they. thi. they. they. they. thi. they. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. thi. they. they. th. they. they. they. they. they. He was, the captain. He was, the captain. He was, the captain. He's got got got got got, the c. He's got, the c. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He. He's got. He's got. He. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. didn't want to do some stuff where it's just like being on the resort all day. So he comes and picks me up and when I see him, he's, there's a like older woman

in the front seat drinking a corona. I was like, I'm gonna get kidnapped. This is annoying. But I met some girls from Atlanta, you know, we don't play that game. So they took pictures of him when he wasn't looking, and then they took pictures of the car. And the girl, one of the girls was like, she's like, you're coming back. And I was like, thank you so much.

Look, once again, these are vacation things. I don't have to this in college like when like the younger girls would have a guy like come and pick them up Like where'd you meet him? Oh, we met in some like this like early 2000s They might have been like something like black planet or college clubs. I'm stupid like that So if none of our friends knew who he was we took a picture of him to picture the license plate. He's like wow. Why would you do this? I'm like? I don't know?. I have th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I have th, th, I have th, th, I have th, I have th, th, I have th, I have th, th, I have a th, tho. I'm like, tho, tho, tho, tho, like, like, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I have a th, I have a th, I have a th, I have a th. I have a tho, I have a thi. I have a thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the license plate, and he's like, wow, why would y'all do this? I'm like, because she's coming back. That's why. We're not going to have no casualties in here. And some of them would get so spooked, one dude just left the girl. He was like, I don't want to deal with this. And I was like, see, you would end up on the news, you're welcome. But I mean, I the, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they they have they have they have thin, I have that I'm not, I have that I have that I have no, I have that I have no, I have that, I have that, I have that, I have that I have that. that. that. that. that. that. that I have that. that. that I have that. that I have that I have that. that I have that. that I have, I have, I have that. that. that I have, I have that. that I have that. th. that I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not th. that I have that I have th. I have th. I have th. I'm maybe, yeah, yeah, that seems. Why he's so upset. Why he's so bothered by this, right? So, I go and hang, so like it's his auntie in the car,

and then his cousin's in the back seat. And then, come to find out later, the unty and cousin were in the car, because it was the auntie's car, right? So, these are it, but I still, but I, but I, but I, but I, but I, but I, but I, but I still, but I still, but I still, but I still, but I still, but I still, but I still, but I still, but I still, but I still, but I still, but I still, but I still, I still, I still, I still, I still, I still, I still, I still, I still, the, the, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so...... So, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the. I had an experience. He tried to con me and starting a jet skiing business. I was like, absolutely not. I don't know your last name. But it was a nice man. Glad I didn't give him the cookies because he was poor.

But what I'm saying is you go on vacations to have adventures, right? But the other girls I was hanging out with, they stayed at the resort the entire time, because it's an all-inclusive resort. And one of the girls was like, she's like, I've got to get my money's worth. I'm drinking everything. I'm eating all of the food. I am not leaving this resort because I'm not leaving this resort.

Because I paid three days. I have, because I was there from a Wednesday to a Sunday. Yeah, yeah. By like, Friday, I just haven't been to as many places as you. So then maybe that's part of what's happening. But I'll tell you right now, there are adventures at home. There are adventures that you can have that you would have never. One time, I lost my remote, and I genuinely, I couldn't find it. I couldn't find it anywhere, and I looked up and down. I was tossing cushions, I was, you know, everything, right?

And eventually, I just started walking up to the TV every time that I had changed a channel, right? And then one day in my staycation, three day, staycation, then on the third day, I opened one of the drawers in drawers drawers drawers drawers drawers drawers drawers drawers drawers drawers drawers drawers drawers drawers, thrure drawers, I door door door door door door door door door door door door door door door thrush day, I opened one of the drawers in my kitchen. Boom, remotes right there, all right? Now I don't know how it got there. Now I got an adventure and a mystery. I didn't even have to leave home. That's the saddest they've ever heard. What you talked about?

Also, you must have had cable because you can't change the stream of service without a normal control. I don't know why my thing is sad and your thing is normal, all right? I don't know why that happened at all. Listen, I went on an adventure with strangers, okay? I found out that about the little dogs they have on the island. I saw all the islands. I was parasailing, okay?

I found out that I could not ride a horse on the beach because there's a weight limit on these horses. I now have a joke about it because I was like, where did you get these wick ass horses from? You see what I'm saying? Like horses used to be able to put armor on people and then armor on horses and then we'd go to war. So I'm like, where did you get these horses horses horses horses horses horses horses tell you right now, I also have had some riveting staycations.

One time I had a dream about a turtle, and it was wild, woke up, sweating everything. How do I hang up? How do I? What, why would you? Can I hang up? No, why would you? Why would you hang up? I'm making good points. I would hang up. You cannot tell me about a dream about a turtle and compare that to me and another girl swag surfing in the sky. It doesn't work that way. No. It worked that way for me. I had palpations. I was. Absolutely not. Listen, this money you can't take it with you. Okay. First and foremost. Can't take this money with you. You work hard. You might as well spend it. This is the thing about vacations. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I. I. the. the. the. I. the. the. the. I. I. the. I. I. I. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. I. the. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. t. t. t. te. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. you might as well spend it. This is the thing about vacations though, it's like sometimes it's like

vacations come to an end, so stay, even like vacations, vacations come to an end because you have to take your ass back to work, right? So that's the hardest part of either being on a vacation or a staycation, you know, you have to now go back. Well, I guess when your, a vacation ends, you just wake up, I guess. Boom, thank you. That's what I was gonna say. Wow, that's what I was gonna say. Wow. That's exactly what I was gonna say.

Could you just go to work? Like, that's it. You just go to, every weekend. You know, you're over stressing, stressing this and flights and flights and flights and flights and flights and flights and flights and flights and flights and flights andthis in flights, you know, oh, how do I get back? I get back on the train. Sir. Excuse me while I blow my nose. I did not expect this to happen while we were recorded. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

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Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address zip recruiter dot com slash zip again that zip recruder dot com slash zip Zip recruiter the smartest way to hire I think about all the places that I wanted to go as like a kid like recently I like wait didn't you go to Hawaii with your mom? Mm-hmm and you didn't them that wasn't for me. Wow that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th I I I I I I I I I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm thi thi thi thi thi-I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the th I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm thi I'm thi thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm that's that's that's that's that's to to to to Hawaii with your mom? Mm-hmm. And you didn't just... That wasn't for me. Wow. That's, I'm trying to give my mom and my aunt a better life.

All right? I hear you. So that's just something that I thought that they would enjoy. I, on the other hand, o'f, I could have watched all the nep, I was binging at the time, so then I had to quit binging and then get on a plane and watch it on a plane on a tiny screen. Then I had to get to Hawaii, which is beautiful, don't get me wrong, it's beautiful, there's beaches, there's like, you know, scantily clad people and there's their sun and all the stuff. You strike me as somebody who doesn't their thua. No thia thia thia thii. No thi. No thi. No thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin. thi. thin' is thin' is thin' is thin' is thin' is thin' is thin' i's thin' i's thin' i. I I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin' is thin' is thin' is thin' is thin' is thin. thin. th. th. thin. to to th. to to to to to thin. th. to to thin. theeea. thin. thin. th. th. th. Like you make me think you're someone who doesn't like the beach. It's just itchy dirt. It's just it's just when you

have you had to have you heard Jay Jurdon's joke? Hmm where he says uh sand is just gay dirt. Wow. Wow never heard him say it. He said it. He is so funny. He's so funny. I have to look him up. But it's like I went to Hawaii back in March because like we had some um we had some off time from the show and. And I wanted to go but I was like I don't know anybody in Hawaii. I want to go, I want to go, just because it's like, I grew up in the 90s. They sent everybody on every TV show to Hawaii. So it's been like, propped up to us for generations. And I was like, I want to go, but I want to go by myself. Because I definitely would deter some cats. Because I definitely would the turtlecks, the other side of the planet is literally right in the middle of the Pacific Pacific Ocean you have no backup so it's like I don't

nobody know nobody out here and then my big brother Tom Bell an amazing comic and stays on TV show he was doing shows out there so I was like my brother going I'm gonna go with him I I go out there, we have fun, I meet a young man, I come back, you know, in April. And they hung out with him, but then I got to go like to more of the beaches and see, you know, he took me all around and see the island because we were on, uh, it was Oahu. Wahoo, or Maui? I was in Maui. And I'll the, you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you, you, you, you, and I th. And I, you, and I, you, you, you, you, and I, you, and I, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I, th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I, th. I was th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, I, I, I, I, I, I, you, you, th. I, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you where you were you, Oahoo or Maui? I was in Maui, and I'll say this even. You know, you mentioned, you know, the, what's the best way to put it,

the brief and exciting romance on a vacation, you know? There's something about meaning a person on vacation, and you know, it it's it's like new and it's fresh and then it's like ooh I'm gonna have to leave soon so how far is this gonna go I'm into the whole romance novel aspects of romance vacations but you know what a staycation hey you can come back anytime all all right you can come back whenever you want I hear you but for that to, you already have to have somebody on the hook before your stacation starts.

And also, I thought this was going to be a brief moment, and then this man was trying to marry me. Which I did not see coming. And I was like, hey, I just wanted to be like a fun casual thing. Trying to make it a fun casual thing. Trying to make it a staycation. He was trying to make it a staycation because then if he had married you and you had moved, my man is doing the same things that I'm talking about doing, you know? It's like you meet someone on vacation and you make it a staycation because you fall for him. I was not going to move to Hawaii.

I have so much work to do. Like you said, I'm trying to get my mom a better life. I can't do that in Hawaii. I can't. I don't know what job I'm supposed to have that was going to keep Marianne Hill from working, but it did not exist on that particular island. But like the I, because like I was just in, okay, here's the best example of the staycation. I was just in London for the past months shooting a TV show. So it was a work trip, but I wasn't working all the time. And then for me sometimes that I'm in a new place, because like I waited to do all the real touristy, touristy stuff so my mom came. The first week we were, wait, you were there. I was there. I was waiting for you to remember that I was also there, but I was waiting for you to mention that you were also there.

I didn't want to interrupt, you know? I know that we argue all this show, but I don't want to be rude. Okay, I hear it. I get you. Yep. But like, we were there for like, I was there for a month, you were there for a month, you But there were days we weren't working but like I didn't feel like running around London and I'm sure there were some days where you didn't feel like running around London. So I think it didn't feel like run around London because I my chest popped off. Oh yeah what happened with that? Could you have to get there Russian Ivy Profit? This is this is why stacations are better I'll tell you right now. So I'm in London and I'm just just just just just just just just just th. I'm just th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not thi. I'm not thi. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not t. I'm not try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try thi So I'm in London and I'm just doing a regular bench press. I'm not I'm not doing I'm not trying to be a hero, I'm not try to save any lives, I'm not trying to lift a car off a baby or anything. I'm doing a regular bench press that I normally do and I just hear a pop and I and I feel I feel a tear t I the t. I'm I'm a the the tha the tha I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm a tha tha I'm a tha I'm a tha I'm a tta tta tta tta tta tta tta tha tha tha thae. I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I t. t. t. t. t. t. t. I feel I feel I'm a t. t. t. I'm a t. I'm a t. I'm a t. I'm a t. I'm a t. t. t. tha tha tha tha tha thae. thae. tha thae. try. t bar and my arm is not core operating. I'm sitting there swelling.

Like you saw me, I can't believe I went to the museum. You saw me like two hours after it happened. And so I don't know what to do because I just got this boulder on the left side of my chest. And if I had been home doing a staycation, doing a bench press, I would have known what doctor to go to. I don't even know if they'll see me because I'm not from here. And apparently the health care is free, but is it free for everybody?

Do they just have like health care spilling out the back of trucks? Or do I need to go fill out a form? So, right. Yeah, I mean, one, that's your fault for working out while you was on vacation. That's on you. I mean, wow, okay. You wasn't gonna get out of shape in a week. Yeah, but I'm like the shape wasn't gonna change. Like you wasn't gonna stop being a trap as a way.

You went all of a sudden going to be like a- Huge. I want to be one of those big, you know what? I'll go on vacation when I'm torn and ripped, like Michael B. Jordan. I want this for you. You've been talking about it for years. Well, you don't have to remind me how long I've been trying to do various things with my body and they have not been coming to fruition. But it's just like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, I, I th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm thi, thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, thi, thi, thi, thorn and thorn and ripped, like thorn and ripped, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, I I I I I I I I I I I I th, I th, I th, I'm th, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, like, thrown, like, like, like, like, I know that I've been trying to do various things with my body and they have not been coming to fruition. But it's just like, I hear you on this thing, because I was really trying to figure out, because for my birthday, I was like, oh, I'm going to go to LA for a couple days.

But then a little this morning I was just like, what if I didn't? Well if you had a staycation with all the people you already know in New York to come through because I did it. But I did that the last two years for my birthday. With everybody in New York and I haven't been able to see my LA friends. So for me it's like you know getting reacquainted with people and also it's like I've been to LA a few times but it's like it's always been for work so then you can't be around anybody because you got to make sure you don't catch the room. So I've done a staycation before and it's like oh I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do that I'm gonna do smart crafting and then I just really give myself permission to just lay down.

Which is the best? I don't know I don't know why people are trying to have ambitious staycations okay it was made for you to lay where you to eat for to eat to eat. to eat. to eat. to eat. the the to eat. the the to to eat. It. It's the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they.a. I is.a.a. I is.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. I's the the the the toea.a.a.a. I's toe. I's to bea. I's to people are trying to have ambitious staycations, okay? It was made for you to lay where you lay, for you to eat where you eat. It's absolutely perfect, all right? The people that are out here trying to go to other countries and like see other cultures and stuff, it's like what you're trying to prove? All right? So you don't want to travel? So you don't want to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to eat where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where you're to travel, you're to travel, you're w you're to travel, you're to travel, you're to travel, you're w you're wa, you're wa, you're wa, you're world, you're world, you're wa, you're wa?ea?ea, you're wa' toea' toea' toea' toea' toe, you're world, you're world, you you don't want to travel at all. You don't want to go to another place. All I'll say is this, I go places. I do things like I went to London, go to Canada, I go places for shows. I'm, I'm, I'm a person that goes out. I'm just saying I would rather stay at home All right with a good book because that's the other thing I do on vacation

Vacations I end up buying books that then I just wish I was home reading because then you buy a book on vacation and then everybody's like no come to the beach everything like and then then after a while you're like books on the beach all the time. I don't want sand in my pages I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't to to th. I don't to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to th. I to to to to to th to to to to the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the th're like- People read books on the beach all the time. I don't want sand in my pages. I don't want the binding of my book to be dirtied with the soiled sweat of the earth. Wow, okay, so you can sit by the pool, because most hotels have pools, you can sit by the pool and read a book. And get splashed with chlorine on my pristine new book.

Listen, I don't, I can't want this for you. I'm just trying to figure out. I guess I understand like there's times that I really want to be home, right? And then there's time from just like, I think the other thing for me is like I'm single. So being in my house by myself for an extended period of time just makes me sad. Like if there was another human being in my house or maybe even a cat. There was another living creature in my house. Well a mother mammal. There's another mammal in my house. Another more specific every time. I know. Uh, so if something I can hug in here, then I might be more inclined to be home more. But like, I remember I was like out like a couple months ago and one of my friends are like

Ah, it's like one in the morning. Are you going home? And I was like why there's nobody at my house And he just started laughing. I was like what? I mean is very That's fair enough. I've known to go home to I'm gonna get in the house when I left it was just me when I got home was just me These dishes only get washed when I feel like doing them and I never feel like doing So I think for me like going on trips and stuff. It's like it's really just me trying to get to the beach, I think it's that's like the beach. It's like that's like the beach. It's like that's like the beach. It's that's like. That's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like the that's like the that's like the that's like that's like the the beach. That's like that's like the beach. That's like the beach. That's like the beach like the beach. That's like that's like that's like the beach. T the beach. T the beach like the beach like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like the beach. That's like the beach. That's like the beach. That's like the beach. That's like the beach. That's like the beach. T the beach. That's like the beach. That's like the beach. That's like the beach. That's like the beach. That's like the beach. It's like the beach. It's like the beach. That's like the beach. It's like the beach. That's like the beach. That's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's about this? I'll pitch you this. I'll ask you this. If you live somewhere with a beach, would you go on vacations? If the beach was already there,

it's already outside the window, you can see it. You can just peek out your blinds and see the beach. You can just stare at it out your window like a pervert. Right. Shhh. You still going on vacations now? I don't know. Because that's my thing is that if you got the right environment, a staycation is better than a vacation because you already know you want to be at the place that you are. I guess that's why I started buying better seats on planes.

Because the hardest part was just like just being hemmed up, just trapped in this tube in the sky, trying not to pee because I'm in a window seat and I had to climb over the two other adults. What all I'm just trying to do is just you know look for the latrine. so just that so like just that so like just that so like the the the the the the, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, like, just, like, just, just trying to do is just, you know, look for the latrine. So just that, so like just traveling in a different way. And like I remember there was one time I was in LAX and I don't know if some flights that got canceled or what happened, but there were people fucking everywhere. I was like, is this a bus station? the hell happened here? Because I was like I was like I was like, I was like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, th, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know, you, you, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to like, is this a bus station? What the hell happening here? Because I was like, I was, you know, because like Costa was telling

me he's like, oh you should get a membership in the Delta Lounge, the American lounge. I'm like, I don't think I need that. And there was a thousand humans, truly, thousands of people, and it was stressing me out. So I was like, let me go in the Delta Sky Club. And I walked in there and I was like, is the air different in here? Like it was just a different vibe because it wasn't a million people stressed out about getting on a plane. Very interesting. So you went to an airport and you were getting overwhelmed by the amount of people around you and their franticness, their chaos was, it was coming at you funny so you wanted to get away from that.

So you went to a sky lounge which is only replicating a stacation. A sky lounge is not representing a stacation and you know good and damn well it's not. It's a whole barn here. How is it free for? Because you're still try it's a lounge Josh it's not I'm currently in the green room of the show. I don't think I'm in a living room. I know I'm in a room that is designated for people to wait in. It's not a lounge that moves. It's a lounge that stays right where it is. You know, the whole airport doesn't move. I still have to leave this lounge to go to my flight.

No, this may, mm-mm. This is a flimsy. I am not making a point for you. Because how about this? They could make the whole airport. That's the thing that had to make it exclusive. Because you're in a first seat you automatically get it right when you are paying to have a different type of experience then there is going to be food and drinks because I paid you more to not be in the franticness of the people who are getting our spirit airline flight or whatever or group 9 like that's why this is going to sound very early some people who are getting on a spirit airline flight or whatever or group nine. Like that's why this gonna sound very early some people are gonna be upset that's

not my problem and I do not know you really came for group nine that's. Listen you think I wasn't in group nine? You think when I started trapping we've all been in group nine. When you start going on the road you are in group eight group nine group six and then when you start whacking up these up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up these up these up these up the up the up the up the up the up the up the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the people the people. the people the people. the people. the people the people. the people the people the people the people the people. the people. the people they're the people. the people. the people. the people. the people. the people. the people. the people. the people. the people. the people. the people. the people. the people. the people. the people. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their people. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the people. they're they're the people. the. When you start going on the road, you are in group eight, group nine, group six, and then when you start whacking up these frequent flyer miles because you work, the more frequent flyer miles you get, the earlier you can get on a plane. So I'm always going to be sky priority, no matter where I sit on this plane because I have 400,000 miles with Delta. I think that, you know, we should also point out that Group 9, if you're not aware, if you're a listener and you're not actually someone who's had the misfortune of being in Group

9, you're basically outside the plane. Yeah, you're holding on the way. You're that monster on that episode of Twilight Zone who is terrorizing a very young William Shackner. Like you're holding on the plane for Dear Life also by the time they get to Group 9 if you don't have a backpack that rolling your that rolling bags not getting on the plane group 9. It's just not. No. They didn't they tell you ahead of time. They tell you don't even try. Don't even try. You are in group nine. Go ahead and gate check this. Stop playing with people. So you start traveling, it's you so you work your way up. So can't I throw this out there to you?

You know what type of place does not have to have, you know? I don't have to sit in my basement. I don't have to sit in my basement for, you know, 30 extra minutes because I'm in group nine. First of all, you don't have a basement. First of all, you don't have a basement. You don't know my life like that. I know you don't have a basement. I know you don I have a basement that you never heard of. No, no. Maybe there's a basement.

Look, base, I... Hmm. You don't have a basement. The building you're in might have a basement, but where you stay ain't got no basement. So let's not play this game. We are only dealing with true facts and experiences. And in your experience, your black ass ain't got no basement. So I don't to play this game, okay?? And the thing is, because of time and experience spent, don't you live in a better apartment now than you did when you first moved to New York? Hmm. See, I want to give it to you, but those are leases. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not about a lease. You're talking about a staycation. So where you stay is going to determine how your cation goes, right? So when you were living your very first apartment in New York with whoever you were staying with, would you want?

Could you, so when you're doing a staycation, you're like a solid week at home, doing nothing? 100%. So your first first you you th the first th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, that, that, tho, to to to stay to stay, to stay, to stay, to stay, tho, to stay, tho, to to to tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that, that, thateat, thateat, that, th%. So your first apartment, when you first moved in New York, would you have wanted to do a staycation in that apartment? I don't even know if I want to talk about it, you know? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I mean my first apartment in New York was a hallway, so that's that's to your point, I see what you mean, that is that you work your way up eventually. I guess I just feel like since I've lived in the same apartment for years now, I don't. But I, I, but you had to work and that's, to get to the plant where you could afford to live in an apartment that you would stay in for a week, because your other apartment was a tornado drill. Sure, yeah. Mm-hmm.

See, that's not a place you wanted to staycation. No, where you stay now is someplace you want to staycation. So if you're living in a situation like that, you would not want to stay there. You would put your coins together, peel them apart if you got to, you would collect your coins together and get on that jet flight because you can get an $80 ticket to the Caribbean on Jack Blue. And being a nice seat and take luggage with you. I didn't know those things.

They got some pretty, listen, it's not that expensive to get to the Bahamas. It's really not, that's why people always go. Bahamas is not that expensive to go to. That's I was like, listen, if I can't deal with some to give me to the Bahamas, bromahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahs, bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro Bahamas bro. We ain't, what, why'm gonna let you see my taste? It's stupid. Look, peak stakation versus peak vacation. I'm trying to staycation every time. I wanna get enough money to have a nice enough house

to where I never wanna leave. And that's the ultimate staycation experience. But do you not wanna leave because your house is so expensive? Yeah, I probably can't afford to leave now. Like now I have to stay. Well that was a crazy thing like this is what kind of happened like because of the roney where it was like that's why we ran out of furniture because everybody was in their apartment. Oh, we need to change this shit up. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the s, th. th. th. th. thi. thi. I, thi. I, thi, thi, thi, I'm, I'm, I'm thi, I'm thi, I thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm, I thi, I thi. I I thi. I I I I I I th. I I I I I I I I I I I th. I I I I I I I I I I thi, I I I I I I thi, I I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I'm thi, I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm toge. I'm probably toge. I'm probably toge. I'm probably toge. I'm probably thi, I'm probably thi. I'm thi. I'm wait a minute. I gotta be in here all day, every day for months.

Oh, we need to change, just shit up. I'm losing my mind in here. Because I was the thing I think I think it got like a lot, that's why so many people like left New York. Because it's like you leave for work at like eight in the morning, you might not come, and you might not come back until eight o'clock at night or even later, and then you just go to sleep. So you weren't even in your apartment that long. So you're like, I can handle this. You know, yes, the bathroom door hits the toilet when I open the door.

But I'm not here they're off to anyway, it's no matter. And then now you're in there because utteroni and it's like, oh, th, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's that's that's thi, that's that's thi. that's thi. that's that's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi's thi's not not thi, thi's not thioli's not thiolioliolomea' is thiolite. thiolite thiolite thi, you're not thi, you're not thi, you're not thi, you're not thi, you're not thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toe. th toe. th th toe. th th th th th th th th th thiiiiiiiii. thi. th th th because of the Roney and it's like oh shit this is I got to get the hell up out of here you know that feeling that you get when you're on vacation like you don't have any response like you don't like you don't like that feeling I have that feeling at home and I and here's there's no way oh yeah there's no way I get that feeling hard at home how you're you're home you're home the the the th and th and th and th and th and th and there's th and there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's their the there's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's the there's the the the the their the their their the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they the the the the the the the the the the the the they the, this is what I will say. Oh yeah, oh yeah. There's no way. I get that feeling hard at home. How? You're home? Yeah, I don't, I don't care about anything.

I'm like, ooh. You know what you know what's about to get read? You know what was about to get watched this show? Oh, I'm in it. I seemless to my apartment because I know what's near me. Ooh. I don't even think you'd be ready for the level of staycation experience that I experience. I think your mind would be blown. Is that just reading a book and ordering foods you eat all the time?

What can I say? I got a good life. I can't stand you. I will say though, the thing that you mentioned about vacations and how it, especially in the pandemic people want to get out there and have new experiences. I understand that. Like I, I get that. I'm not even about new experiences. It's just like leaving. You weren't in your house shaking and fear for a year and a half. It was like I'm finally not mortified to step outside my house, what if we got on a plane? I think that's the campaign. It's like that makes sense and I do understand a feeling I'm just like being in your house and not having to do anything, but I think a staycation is just a weekend. Ooh, ooh, that's where I have to slow you down.

That's where I have to back you up. That's where I have to stop you. Okay? You've never talked to me like this before. A staycation is as long as the imagination lets it go. No, a vacation is for as long as you are on vacation. Then the next day you wake up and go to work. Yeah, but you, you can be on staycation until the minute you leave that apartment, that house, that condo, that trailer, that car, it's about the mind. You know, you're the one that's like hooked on the parameters of an itinerary.

You have to be on that flight by a certain time or else you're not coming back. Plains fly daily. You can always get a plane back. You can always get a plane back, baby. No, fair enough. That makes sense. I see what you mean now of how vacations can be great and why people want to go on them. I'm with you. See, and I also can understand, because like, ever since this thing started to open back up,

I was like, oh, I don't, this feels too open. Like, I don't, I don't know. Yeah, some people are nasty. Some people you, you're like, oh, you should still be in lockdown. Yeah, you should still be in lockdown. You should be in handcuffs. So yeah, it's like, I understand.

But what I do also like, hotel with like a balcony or like an Airbnb like a balcony like I'm gonna be able to just sit outside and enjoy the air of another place I don't like running around having a full itinerary so it's like I guess sometimes I'll do a staycation while I'm on a vacation that that makes sense yeah yeah yeah no I'mcation while I'm on a vacation. If that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm with you. I, uh, I want to get not only just your thoughts, but the thoughts of the listeners. Let us know what you think, you know, are you a vacation person, a staycation person? Do you think one of us is absolutely crazy? It's probably me? I understand that I have very unpopular opinions about thiii, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. th. th. thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, I'm thi, I understand that I have very unpopular opinions about things. All people probably agree with you.

They're like, no, I'm trying to stay in the house. You know, because sometimes- I feel like a rich person agrees with me. I feel like anybody with money, is probably gonna agree with me. I'm just glad that we could find some common ground, you know. I wanna thank you, the listener for listening to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, to, the, their, their, tho, tooomoomoomorrow, to, to, too, their, too, too, too, too, to, to, to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th...... tho, thi. thi. thi. thi. thin. too, too. tooe. thea, thea.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a, try.a, try.a, try.a, try. I'ma, try. I'ma, thank you, Dulce, for being a co-host with me. I want to thank you, the listener, for listening to the episode. And we're going to be back next week with an all-new holdup. Listen to Hold Up on the Eye Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your

podcast. Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast Universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.