The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Wanda Sykes Tackles Trump's Awkward Eulogy | Mike Epps

Episode Date: January 24, 2023

Wanda Sykes covers the latest news, including Trump's awkward eulogy at Diamond's funeral, more classified documents found in President Biden's home, the Church of England blessing same sex marriage but not allowing same sex weddings in the church, and a ridiculous oil and gas commercial. Comedian Mike Epps discusses working with legendary women on "The Upshaws."See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening the si Show. I'm Wanda Sykes. Wow. Hey, all right, that's enough. Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Wanda Sykes and I'll be your host this week. Yeah, my wife asked me to unload the dishwasher. I'm Wanda Sykes and I'll be your host this week. Yeah, my wife asked me to unload the dishwasher and I need it an out. So I'm so happy to be here. We've got a great show for you tonight. We've got a lot of news to cover.

We've got my friend Mike Epps in the house, so let's get it the we're today. Well, I don't know how your 2023 is going, but it has not been going well for President Joe Biden. Just when we were ready to move on to the next scandal, the FBI searched his house for 13 hours on Friday and they found even more classified documents. At this point, the FBI is just declutoring Biden's house form. They're like Marie Condo going around his rooms like, this list of spies does not spark joy. You know, but honestly, this doesn't bother me at all. I mean, come on, the man has been in public office for 238 years. I bet you most of the shit he has isn't even classified anymore.

I mean, come on, the man has been in public office for 238 years. I bet you most of the shit he has isn't even classified anymore. You read his notes and it's like, keep an eye on this Hitler guy. It's just history now. It's just history now. They're teaching this stuff in schools. Well, not in Florida, but you know. By the way, some of you might not know but before doing

stand-up I worked at NSA for seven years yeah it's true I had a top secret clearance and everything thank me for my service damn it So I got to say, this story has me a little concern. You know, I'm sitting here thinking, damn, what is in my garage? I put that back, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I put that back. But in Biden's defense, at least he is cooperating with the FBI searches, right? Right? At least he is cooperating with the FBI searches, right? In fact, he's been so cooperative, it makes me wondering, like, is he hoping they do work around the house for him?

You know, it's buying like, you know, fellas, I think I have some documents up in the gutters. You might need to clear the leaves out first. I know Jill would love that. She loved that. All right, now check this story out. This weekend, the Church of England announced that it would now allow its clergy to bless same-sex marriages. But they're still not going to allow the actual wedding to happen in the church.

But to be honest, this is also how I feel about any destination wedding. I ain't gonna be there, but good for y'all. Not going. Okay, let's move on. Normally, I don't find funerals funny. But here's a story about a funeral that I found hilarious. Because this funeral had Donald Trump, and that guy can turn anything into a joke. Maybe you've heard of Diamond and Silk, you know, those two sisters who are always, you know, two sisters who are always showing up at his rallies, praising him on TV, setting a black

race back 50 years. You know those two. Trump helped meetings with them. He'd invite them to the Oval Office. He would point at them and say, see, black people love me. Well, sadly, Diamond passed away a few days ago. Yeah, and Silk said that she wanted Trump to speak at the funeral because the three of them were so close.

At least, Silk thought the three of them were close, until Trump started to speak. You know, the world has lost one of its brightest stars, real star, but I see that we have another star who was equal to, but she stepped up and she is different. I'm serious, I thought I knew them both, I didn't. I knew, I knew Diamond, but I didn't know Silk at all. I just learned about. So, you're fantastic. You're going to carry on beyond beyond anybody's wildest imagination. Oh my God, I mean, it's like Trump showed up to that funeral like, diamonds dead, but I'm going to bury silk. Oh yeah, there's room for two in that casket. I mean, come on, to say you know diamond but don't know silk is wild because they're always together.

That's like saying, I know Bert, but I've never heard this Ernie fella. What's his deal? What's his deal? You know, I thought Sister Sister was just called Sister. Knowing Trump, he probably only has room for one black woman in his brain at a time. If he turns on the TV right now, he'll be like, wow, Diamond's hosting the Daily Show. You know? A week ago, she was dead, but thanks to me, she's risen. And finally, did you guys watch the football game last night?

The 49th account was it? Yeah, well I tuned in to see if the Dallas kicker would keep missing extra points. And he did, he just kept missing them. And it was bad, y'all, because the commentators were like, I don't even think the coach is going to put him back out to kick again, you know. And I just thought of his poor family watching, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, thage, thage, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin', and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I thin', and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, thin' thin', thin', thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin', thin' thin' thin', thin', thin' thin', thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th, th, th, th, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thin' thin' th of his poor family watching, you know. His kids sitting there, they're not going to let daddy kick anymore. It was awful. But then I saw something even more horrifying.

It was an ad that was just for oil and gas. Not any particular oil and gas company. Just oil and gas in general. Check it out. One, two, three, come give me a kiss. What have we lived in the world without oil and natural gas? Life will be very different because oil and gas are part of just about everything you toub. From the stuff you wear. To the stuff in your hair, and so much more.

Our world would be unrecognizable of the products we rely on just disappeared. Better like next time. What? Those greedy, oily bastards. See, this proves y'all we're doing something right, because they're getting nervous. Because we're buying electric cars, we're switching to solar energy. And they're like, right? And they're like, but we also make footballs. But you know what, I will agree with them on one thing, if there was

no oil our world would be unrecognizable. It would look like this. What's all that green shit on the bottom? That grass? You know, I heard about it in history class. I don't know. And what's with all that shit that disappeared into dust stuff they did, huh? They stole that right from the Avengers. That's from the Avengers. So these guys are in the boardroom like, oh, we need to improve our image. Hey, everyone likes Stano's, right? They like Thanos. So, for more on just how damaging oil is to the planet,

let's go to Michael Costa, who is at an oil spill down on the Gulf Coast? Michael? It looks horrible down there? Wow. Good Lord, Michael, it looks horrible down there. No, now it doesn't. But all those birds are covered in oil.

Okay, yeah, but think about how many birds there are in the world, you know, probably hundreds, and I'm willing to let these birds suffer if that means we can keep enjoying the miracle liquid that is oil. What? Did that bullshit commercial actually convince you? All commercials convince me. It's why I have 15 insurance policies, all my money's in crypto. In the 2000s, I was always saying, what? And this commercial made some really great points.

Without oil we would lose so many precious products like hair gel or the bottle the hair gel comes in or the chemicals I use to get the hair gel out of my hair. And that's just my hair Wanda. I mean, think of how much hair is in the world, probably hundreds. Look, look, okay. Okay, we get it. You got oily ass hair. Speaking of which, what about the damage oil is doing to our bodies? I mean, kids are growing up with asthma now.

Okay, yeah, and the asthma keeps the kids from smoking cigarettes. It's actually a thank you, oil. And what about the planet, Michael? It's breaking down the Great Barrier Reef. Okay, I thought we were supposed to be breaking down barriers, right? See, who's the feminist now? Okay, I think your hair gel is leaking into your brain. Okay, okay. Trust me, Wanda, my fine is brain.

My fine is very brain. But I'll tell you what? Let's imagine your fantasy world without oil, because all the things you would love would be gone. Like, see these birds covered in oil? If oil didn't exist, they'd be gone. Why would the birds disappear if oil didn't exist? Wouldn't the oil on the birds just disappear?

I mean, do you know how hard it is to get oil off of a bird? It's easier to just get rid of the birds. And it's less bird poop to track into my Lambo. Check that bitch out. Candy, apple red. You bought??? to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the the th. th. the th. the. theauge. the bird. the bird. theauge. thoomoburge. Why. Why would would the birds. Why would the birds. Why would the birds. Why. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thea? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the into my lambo. Check that bitch out. Candy Apple red. You bought a Lamborghini? Oh yeah. Okay, all right.

Now it's all making sense. The oil companies paid you to say this shit. No, no, no, no. I was paid by an organization called the Coalition of Super Ethical Energy Providers. Right. And who pays them? I mean, Wanda, who pays anyone? You know, I don't make decisions because someone pays me. I make decisions by taking a long, hard look in the mirror and asking myself,

What, what, ah, and what, what, that? Wanda, is that oil is the bedrock of our society. And the great thing about bedrock is you can drill into it to get more of that sweet, sweet oil. All right, Mike, I can play this game too. If you're getting rid of birds, I'm getting rid of your Lamborghini. What? No, come on, that bitch was candy, apple red. Come on, Wanda. Serbs you right. Michael Costa, everyone.

All right, when we come back, Roy Wood Jr. asked London what they think about America's gun. Welcome back to the weekend, America had yet another mass shooting, this time in Monterey Park, California. Tragically, 11 people lost their lives, and we send our thoughts and prayers to the victims and the ones recovering. And sadly, that's all we do in this country. Because it only happens here. And why is that? Well, we all know the answer.

But we sent Roy Wood Jr. overseas anyway to double check. A little while back I traveled to Mary Old England, a country that's got all kinds of weapons. Sword, shields, wooden catapults, terrible massage chairs, even magic wands. But the one weapon you don't see is guns. So I wanted to find out why. In my new segment, Roy meets world. Edward, where are you from? Harrogate in North Yorkshire. Okay, so do you feel safer here or visiting America?

Here. Safer here. Why? Why? Why do you feel safer here? Because everybody's packing in the states. You really don't see guns out here on a regular basis. Not really, even with the cops if you, I mean if you're walking around and you do see some cops, they don't have guns on them. Why is that? Why

y'all police don't have guns? I honestly don't know about that one. But how are you going to accidentally kill somebody you wanted to kill? Well that's a whole point. You shouldn't be doing that? Well that. Well that? Well, that that that that that that that that that tha? Well, tha? tha? the the the the the the the the the the the the thuui, their thathea, thathea, tho, tho, thi, thi, that, tho, tho, tho, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, I I their, I their their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I thi. I thi. thi. thi. theeat. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. th. th. I th. the. the the whole point. You shouldn't be doing that. So in the UK, how do you show power? How do you show people you've got a big dick, but you don't have a gun? I don't try and show people that I got a big dick. I know I've got one. Like, I think that we... This one way. Is the one of the this in Norway. It's not common to have guns in private homes at all.

Okay, so in Norway, how do men let women know that they have a big day? Show it to them. Can't do that in America. That is not an option. So they are packing. See, there's so much our two cultures can learn from each other. Why do you think Americans love guns so much? I think it's something like deeply ingraining the culture. Like, guns have been around for a long, long time in the US.

Like, in the UK, it's not so much of an issue because it's very underground, whereas in America it's normalized. You can walk inside a warown and buy a gun. Yes, and a pack of skittles and some ice cream. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. So where are you all from? South Africa. Why do you think Americans love guns so much? Probably the Constitution and just because they're crazy.

Damn, you can see this right out of the game. What is America's reputation in the world? Probably mass shootings as bad as it sounds. What is America's reputation in the world? Probably mass shootings as bad as it sounds. That's all we know them for? Not only that, but it's the carcass. We got hot dogs, we got, Steph Curry. Why do you think Americans love guns so much?

From an outsider's perspective, I think they are also really proud of their military and everything. But we whopped a lot of ass. America's whooped a lot of ass. You think so at least, yeah. Trick the stats. Yeah, okay. Whoopped the British ass? We whoopped our own ass.

So they didn't really know America's record on the court. And it turns out, guns aren't just hurting our people. They're hurting our streeting our streeting our streeting our street the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their military their military their military their military military their their military military military their their military military their military their military their military their military military their military their military military their military military. their military. their military. their military. their their their their their their their their their their ss. their s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s threatreatreatreat.c, threat.c, threat. threat.c, threat. thiau, threat.c, thiau, thiauia. They're hurting our street creditor all over the world. I feel like, you know, the US was kind of like this beacon that a lot of people followed. If you look at it from the gun perspective, some of the other topics that are going on currently as well, I think it is affecting a little of its credibility on the global stage. It's a problem when guns have women. So the the. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

Is it possible that the rest of the world is just being too hard on America and the gun violence? We only been around 200 years. Yep. You got it. When you start a country, it's going to be rough for a little while because you just whoop somebody's ass, no disrespect. I have little faith in the country at the moment. I've never been, I've always wanted to visit it, but every time we talk about it, we're

like, I'm not actually, like, I'm not sure. So Americans might not be Airbnb in their fully armed apartments to these people anytime soon. But that doesn't mean that all of Europe is a gun-free zone. We can take a Spitzburg in Norway. That's the highest density of guns in any society in the world. Everybody has a gun in Smitzburg. That's for protection for polar bears, but they don't shoot each other. It's just for the polar bears. Yeah, but you have to wear a gun if you go outside the city. You're not not to to allow to allow to the the the the the their th. their th. th. their th. th. th. th. thi. their thi. to to their to their to to to their their to to their their gun. their their thease. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. We's. We's. We's. We's. their. their. We's. their. their. their their tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape have to wear a gun if you go outside the city. You're not allowed to go without. Wait, it's a law that you have to wear a gun in that part.

One in the party has to wear a gun to go outside of the city limits. To keep you from getting eaten by polar bears. Right. Damn, mandatory guns to Oslo. Honduras, here I come. There's no polar bears there, right? Thank you, Roy. Don't go away, because when we come back, Mike Epps will be joining me on the show, so stick around. Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest tonight is an actor and comedian who's up for an NAACP image award for his role in our sitcom The Upshaws. Part 3 premieres globally February 16th on Netflix.

Please welcome Mike. All right. What's up? What's up? Why, you come in here smelling all good? Oh yeah. I stopped at CVS and got me a little cologne. So, you know, I was just in Chattanooga over the weekend. Oh yeah. And I mentioned the upshaws and the crowd went crazy.

It is? Yeah. Oh, man. In Chattanooga. In Chattanooga. That's cool. I was out there doing stand-up. I was doing stand-up.

I was doing it. But the thing is, remember before, you told me, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, the, I, the, I, I, I, the, I, the, I, I, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I was, I'm, the, the, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I.... Yeah, I... Yeah, I... Yeah, I. Yeah, I, I. Yeah, I, I'm. Yeah, I'm. Yeah, I'm. Yeah, I'm. Yeah, I'm. Yeah, I'm. Yeah, t. Yeah, t. Yeah, I'm. Yeah, today. Yeah, I'm. Yeah, I'm. Yeah, I'm. Yeah, I'm. Yeah, I, I'm. Yeah, I'm. I mentioned the upshaws and my crowd goes nuts right and then I said okay I'll do it so the first season I mentioned it to my crowd it was cricket haha because they were white people my audience so they were like they were like upshaws what what is this thing yeah yeah so but this time I mentioned it and like they have the audience with nuts so. So we're growing, man. So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really cool. Yeah, so why do you think it's happening? Why do you think that's happening? You know what, Wanda,

sometimes when you put a little hot sauce on that fish? Or that chicken, you know what? You know what, I think, when th, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, the the they, they, they, they, they, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, th. th. that, the. thi. th. the. thi. th. th. th. a little season on it. You know what, I think me and you coming together, we both had two different types of audience. Right. You know, you do a more classier style of comedy. You know, I do more of a bar and grill, you know? But I really think that, you know, sometimes when you come think that you know sometimes When you come together and you both have two different audiences, you know

It I'm introduced to your audience and you introduced to my audience. So everybody's like because because even from my audience they're like man. I never would have thought to see you and wander together, you know, right? So it's just one of them things. And it worked like peanut butter and jelly, you know? Right, right. So, that's about working together, you know, you work with, you know, myself, Kim Fields, the great Kim Fields. Yes. Yeah.

Gabrile Dennis. Regina Hicks. R. . That's a lot. . Regina Hicks running the show. Regina Hicks. So that's a lot of women, right? And then I noticed that you touring with Cedric. C.L. Hugley. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's, you know, that's what I do.

It is. Yeah. So. I get in the best of both worlds. Okay. But let me. road with the brothers. Are you talking shit about us? Right? That's what I need to know. Did somebody tell you that wonder because I, you know, earthquake? Earthquake? Yeah.

Well, you know what, these are, and those guys are friends of yours too, you know, earthquakes, you know, earthquakes from D.C. So, you know, I think it's a whole different rhythm. When I'm with the ladies, I mean, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. That's th. That's, th. That's th. That's, th. That's th. That's the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, theateatea, thooooooeses, that's what's what's what that's what that's what that's what the ladies I mean the comedy is like this it's popping you know the guys we all smoking cigars everybody moving slow looking around you know so you know so you know the women they got a little bit more snap today to the timing you know but I love working with you guys you guys you're working with Kim Fields and working with Wanda, man. It's, I mean, you know, I can't go wrong. You know what I mean? I got...

Kim Fields is a legend in the acting world. We know her from back in the days. And Wanda, come on man. She's a legend in a comedy game. Please. You know you killed a game. So, you were recently in Jackson, Mississippi. Jackson, Mississippi.

And I thought this was beautiful, man, because you know, they're still facing that, getting clean water, a water crisis. And while you were down there before your show, you were out in the streets passing out water to residents down there. Yeah, yeah, that's pretty cool. their. theirto the residents down there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty true. Okay. So, why is that important for you to get involved like that?

You know what? I think that, you know, when the world is going through something and us as comics, we go to these cities year after year making money in these cities. So I think when, you know, when some the cities, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, these these cities, the cities, the cities, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, they, they, they, thinks, they, threatean, they, they, they, threatean, they, they, threats, they, threats, threats, threats, threats after year making money in these cities. So I think when you know when some of these cities going crisis, man, we didn't been to these cities. Some of these cities feel like they are our hometowns. Because we've been going to them for so many years. So Jackson's one of the places I've always did comedy at.

And they got beautiful people down there. I say, man, I got a show coming, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, their, their, their, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th man, they're resilient. I said, man, I got a show coming down there. I know they got the water crisis. I got to give back some kind of ways. You know, I'm always making money in their town. So I said, hey, let's buy up a bunch of water. Shout out to my man, Hunter Street Sam. Hunter Street production was the promoters who thought about doing this and they put it together man we start passing out water some of the old women that was coming through there getting the water I seen one old lady she came through there three times she put the mask on I said no you

been over here you came through three times got some water I'm thirsty baby baby So you got a new show on HD TV where you and your wife are renovating homes back in your hometown. It's called, what's the name of it? It's called, Buy the Block, right? Buy the, I always get it mixed up. It's coming out this summer, right? Yeah, it's called, yeah, it's called the Black's buying the block back.

Wait, wait, wait. I'll get in trouble. the block back. No, it ain't called that. It's got... Wait, wait, wait, come on. I better get in trouble. Wait, come up. I got HGT. You go out from the upshaws. I want to make you wear the t-shirt. You know the name.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I think, buy the block back. Yeah, and what it was was, was, I went back to my hometown. I went back to my hometown, I've been buying houses in my hometown for about 20. Yeah, in Indianapolis. Yeah, in Indianapolis. Yeah, shout out to my hometown, Indianapolis, Indiana. And I've been buying homes in that city for about 25 years. Wow. And I, you know, when I was young, me and my mom and my brother's

assess, we got kicked out of a lot of houses. You know, just getting evicted and stuff like tearing the houses up. And I told my mother, I said, when I get famous, if I ever get famous, I'm gonna go buy all them houses we got kicked out of. So I went back and bought all them houses that we're building them. Yeah. Me and my wife, I want to, you know, shout out, shout out to my beautiful wife, Kyra Epps, who's really in charge of everything. She got with a builder and they put these houses together, man. I mean, these houses are beautiful.

They used to be $5 when I was a kid. If I'd have thought that I'd have bought bought bought bought neighborhood up. Right, right. You know, so we built the houses back up and hopefully we can get some, make them affordable for some families. Yeah. That's great, Mike. That's beautiful, that's beautiful, that's beautiful. So I'm trying to, you know, I'm trying to stay out of jail. I'm their their their, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, trying, trying, trying, I, trying, trying, trying, trying, trying, trying, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. to, to, their, their, their, their, their, you know what I mean? No, I'm just kidding. You're, come on, staying out of jail, you're doing such good work, you know, especially like your hometown and all. Have you ever thought about maybe getting into politics, maybe running for office? Oh, no, you don't want me in there.

You know what, if I got into some politics, man, you know, I would definitely want to be on the end of helping children. If I could be a politician and to make the world better for kids, I want to politics. Other than that, I don't want to help no grown folks. Well, even if you don't want to, you're doing it. If you want to run the office, I've got a slogan for you. Mike Epps, he's got Netflix money and he'll gut your kitchen. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Thanks, man.

Thank you. That might work. I love you, Rhonda, thank you. Thank you. Why the site, y'all? We're going to say it. But we'll be right back after this. This! That's our show for the- But

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