The Daily Show: Ears Edition - What Are Haunted Dolls? Michael Kosta Investigates

Episode Date: December 21, 2022

The pandemic has produced many new successful markets: Zoom, sweatpants, and haunted dolls. Michael Kosta dives into the niche market of haunted dolls to find out what all the hype is about. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. When you think of successful markets that have thrived during the pandemic while so many others have perished, you think of Zoom, Amazon, sweatpants, and haunted dolls. That's right, haunted dolls are big right now. Now, I'm not usually an occult guy, but to survive in this economy, I'm willing to make a deal with the undead. But first I had to find out more about the business and who better to teach me than Cat Blowers, the number one seller of haunted dolls on eBay. Be scared of demon.

Be scared of negative energy. But other than that, if you're interested, you should jump in with both feet. You are literally in the business of ghosting people. When did you notice that the haunted doll business was skyrocketing and that you are basically the Jeff Bezos of haunted dolls? I started in 2014 and there was only a few shops. Now there's probably 50, 60 shops for haunted dolls. How many dolls would you say you've sold in the last year? Probably a thousand. There's money in this? There is. I've seen a haunted doll go for $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ the the the the the the th. I the th. I the th. I the haunted th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho th tho tho tho tho tho tho- the haunted doll tho- tho- that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. tho- the haunted the haunted the haunted the haunted the haunted the haunted the haunted the haunted the haunted the haunted the haunted the haunted the haunted doll the haunted doll the haunted doll the haunted doll the haunted doll the haunted doll the haunted doll the haunted doll the haunted doll their their their the haunted doll their the haunted doll tho. tho. tho. the haunted doll. tho. thoa. thoau. thoaunt tho. thoa. thoa. thoa. thoa. tho. say you've sold in the last year? Probably a thousand. There's money in this? There is. I've seen a haunted doll go for $4,000.

Woo! Okay, now cost is into it. But my big question, aside from how can I hide $4,000 of doll sales from the IRS, is what made a haunted doll? According to haunted doll sellers, any doll that was inhabited by the soul of a dead person was prime for selling. But what made one haunting more expensive than another? When you say haunted, for me that sounds scary. You're also saying that there's a positive haunting? Absolutely, and I try to keep most of my stuff on the positive side.

Oh, you mean the baby with its legs ripped off? Actually, that one's not that positive. Right. What if it's like a really evil spirit? I actually do charge a little bit more. I don't want the little young kids to be able to afford it. You can sell a human soul on eBay. There was a ban. Who was selling too many human souls? You have to have a disclaimer if the ghost caused you to murder your wife. Isn't capitalism fascinating? It can be. That's about 25% of the business and people will

send them to me and right now I have a two and a half year waiting list for evaluations. Yeah. What? Write down everything you know about the doll so when I open the box I know what I'm dealing with and I'll talk to you in two and a half years. The rest of the business is people contacting me looking for a haunted doll. Are you looking for a little kid? Are you looking for something that's gonna challenge you? Are you looking for something that's gonna scare your neighbors? There's spirits that will attract money to your house? There's spirits that will attract love love.

Wow. Clearly Catherine was selling these haunted little hotcakes, but who are the everyday folks buying these haunted dolls? Hi, oh, I know it's you. I know you. Hey. Yep, the Stormy Daniels. Stormy's doll, Susan, was purchased in 2011

and is said to be cursed with a uniquely malevolent spirit. We believe Susan belonged to a little girl who died in 1955, and it definitely had something to do with a stomach issue. Before we even started shooting, the producer on set here wanted to toucest her. And you said, don't do that, you'll shit your pants. Yes, three people people people people people people thape thap thoom thuuuuuu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu, thu, too, too, too, too, too, to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be too. too. too. too. too. too, too, too, too, too. too. too. too, too. th. th. th. thu. thu. the thu. the the thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. the thea. thea. too. too. too. tooo. too. too. too. too. too. your pants. Yes. Three people that I slept with in a row she attacked. They had stomach problems and back issues pretty much immediately. She's more mischievous than malicious. I've never felt like I was

in danger. What has Susan added to your life? She adds protection when you go into these places that could be dangerous. Okay but is Susan really worth that much? I have been offered $7,500 for her once and $10,000 for her once, but she is not for sale. She has her own TV show. She's on VH1's the real life. Anyone who follows her Instagram will know this little plastic bitch has been on yachts and ferrari. Is that her handle this little plastic bitch? It should be. Would you say she's living her best afterlife? She is definitely living her best afterlife. So I went back to Kat to learn about the highly scientific analysis process used to identify a haunted doll. So, bells.

Okay. After studying the extensive tools needed and the strict procedure, what if the UPS guy rings the doorbell? I knew if I was serious about getting into the business of haunted dolls, the next step had to be trying out the haunted product to see what all the fuss the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the rings the doorbell. That screws it up. I knew if I was serious about getting into the business of haunted dolls, the next step had to be trying out the haunted product to see what all the fuss is about. Her name's Jennifer. She is about seven or eight years old, and we think she was murdered. Is it safe to say that she was killed by a white man?

Yes. Absolutely. What is it with the white men lately? What would Jennifer cost for someone? 60, 70 bucks, probably. Yeah. Okay. All right, Jennifer. Sorry, you got murdered. So I left with my free trial named Jennifer, and I took a video diary to record to record my feedback.

Hey, so day one with Jennifer. I don't know if I really get it yet. The only thing I can report, I have had some violent dreams. There was a river of blood and there was stabbing, but still better than what I was dreaming about before, which was the state of this country. So I think I'm starting to get it a little bit. Did you make this for me?

I don't know if she's following me, or if I just bring her everywhere. I can't do this with you watching. Thank you. The soul of this doll has excellent comedic timing. It's just great having someone around who laughs sad jokes. She is a haunted doll and I know what I'm saying and it sounds crazy, but it's just, it's wonderful. Nice to meet you, nice to meet you, nice to meet, I'm gonna kill you. Just kidding.

The trial is over and I can't get into this business. Sending Jennifer back to Catherine is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Jennifer. You gotta go. Get in the box.