The Daily Show: Ears Edition - What Day Is It? | Kevin Love

Episode Date: April 1, 2020

Trevor and his correspondents try to determine what day it is, and Cleveland Cavaliers player Kevin Love discusses his efforts to keep arena workers paid during the pandemic. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Hey everybody. Trevor Noah here. Welcome to another episode of the Daily Social Distancing Show. It is now day 16 of staying at home to prevent the spread of coronavirus. And here's your quarantine tip of the day. If you're at home and you're bored trying to sterilize everything, I've got a tip for you.

If you hold your cleaning product like a gun, you'll feel like you ganster the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha the tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha bored, trying to sterilize everything. I've got a tip for you. If you hold your cleaning product like a gun, you'll feel like you gangster whipping every germ's ass. Pah, pop, pop, break yourself, Corona fool. Anyway, tonight we're going to catch up on all the latest coronavirus news. New York is putting hospitals everywhere. President Trump loses a trivia contest and we try to figure out what day it is. So welcome to the Daily Social Distancing Show. From Trevor's Couch in New York City to your couch somewhere in the world. This is the Daily Social Distancing Show with Trevor Noah. the ears addition. Let's kick it off with some good news.

According to thermometers, social distancing might be working. Yeah, the company Kinsa Health, which makes smart thermometers that upload users temperatures to the internet, reports that fevers across the United States are dropping dramatically. Now, these thermometers accurately predicted the rise in coronavirus hospitalizations. So if they're showing dropping fevers, that's a promising sign. So please, people that stay at home, let's stay inside and keep flattening that curve so that someday we can go back to our normal lives, you know? Don't you want to go outside again, be out there, you know, cutting each other

off in traffic, complaining about your allergies, getting invited to your friend's improv show? You know, now that I say it, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. that's, that's theei. thei. that's thei. thei. thi. the. thi. thi, complaining about your allergies, getting invited to your friend's improv show. You know, now that I say it, maybe quarantine isn't that bad. Maybe we should just stay here a little longer. Also, there are some positive signs coming out of the epicenter of this pandemic, New York. Recently, it has gone from being the city that lays awake at night filled with existential dread. But the good news is that that with the prospect of overrun hospitals, the city is adapting.

The enormous Javitz Convention Center has now been converted into a hospital with a thousand beds. There's an emergency field hospital being constructed in Central Park. Entire hotels will soon be rented out and converted into hospitals. And 5,000 new ICU beds were recently installed inside one of Mayor de Blasio's shoes. Basically any giant spaces are being filled with beds even if they kind of smell. Also some more good news, the Navy has sent over the US hospital ship Comfort, great name,

which docked here in New York yesterday. The Comfort has a thousand hospital beds on board, which New Yorkers are very excited about. In fact, so excited that yesterday, a crowd gathered to welcome the boat to the city, which is obviously extremely counterproductive in social distancing land, but it also shows you how much New York has changed. Yeah, because normally we hate it when people show up to the city. Like a month ago, New Yorkers would have gathered to throw rats at that boat. Your mother says hello!

And beds aren't the only reinforcements New York is getting right now. Over 76,000 doctors and nurses, many of them who had already retired, have volunteered to step up and help out during this crisis, which is pretty amazing. And a few days ago a flight full of health care workers from Georgia flew to New York to help lend a hand. And I'm really grateful to them. And I also just hope that they didn't land at LaGuardia because they'd walk around the terminal like, we're too late. The city is already destroyed. Be like like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, them, them, thi, them, them, them, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, and th, th, th, th, th, th, and th, th, and th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, and tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, and the walk around the terminal like, we're too late, the city is already destroyed. We're like, no, this is what it normally looks like. And I'm really grateful for those doctors from Georgia. Not only because their help is needed, but also because doctors from Atlanta will probably be the most entertaining doctors you've ever had.

And we mumbl wrapping their diagnosis. You have a corona, and the virus, see if we're in the stuff in the virus, the tipin, the stuff in the sun, so, woo, a bapin' the ribbon, the gun, boo. So, thank you, Georgia. We're not gonna forget this. New York will not forget what Georgia has done for us. In fact, when this is all over, New York is gonna send some of its subway mas-debaters to your state just to say thanks. And speaking of of of the appreciation of of of of of the appreciation of of the appreciation of of of of the appreciation the appreciation of of of of of of of of of of the Empire State Building lit up like a siren

to honor all the medical workers serving on the front lines of this epidemic. Now, this might have been a good idea when they first pitched it, but I will tell you as someone who lives in New York, it was terrifying. The Empire State Building, giant light flashing around. And can you imagine if someone was high in their living room they must have freaked out just like shit dude I think we're getting pulled over by that building but look just because there are some science for optimism doesn't mean we should become complacent people right

because remember coronavirus is still growing around the globe worldwide there are now 800,000 cases in at least 171 countries you growing around the globe. Worldwide, there are now 800,000 cases in at least 171 countries. You know, with the spread of coronavirus, we're learning so many things. We're learning how fragile our medical systems are. We're learning that we need a stronger safety net in society. We're learning we need to pay teachers more.

We're learning that thinking about exercise isn't the same as actually doing it. We're also learning which leaders around the world deserve the title of leader. For instance, in Hungary, President Victor Orban has convinced his parliament to let him rule by decree until the pandemic is over, which essentially makes him a dictator for as long as he wants. Although I'm not going to lie, being a dictator during coronavirus is a little less fun. He's going to be like, I sentence you to torture you to, which you need to administer to yourself because it is not safe for other people to toucest you. So can you torture yourself over Zoom and you can send me the video? No, I don't have th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thu thu thu thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tooooooooooooooi. teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. thi. thi. thi. toucure yourself over Zoom and you can send me the video? No, I don't have Zoom.

Then I guess there would be no toucure. I wish I had Zoom. And over in Belarus, another leader is President Lukashenko. He's probably one of the worst because he's refusing to cancel public sporting events and instead has been recommending that Belarusians Avoid getting the virus by just going to the sauna and then taking a couple shots of vodka Two to three times a week. That's a real thing a president said. Yeah, and you know your medical advice is bad when it makes group look reasonable Because I mean goop may tell you to put an egg in your vagina, but at least they tell

you to do it at home and wash your hands first. Now, if you're going to talk about leaders who don't deserve the title, leader, you would be remiss if you didn't mention the man himself. The President of the United States, Donald Jericho Trump. Every day he shows us why he is not the right leader for this moment or any other moment. And look, luckily he decided to back off his plan to quickly reopen the economy by Easter. But he does continue to make a fool of himself, like yesterday. He tried to show off to everyone how much he knows about South Korea, and he failed spectacularly. At one point during this press conference, the president said that he knows South Korea

better than anybody. Mr. President, you said several times that the United States has ramped up testing, but the United States is still not testing per capita as many people as other countries like South Korea. I know South Korea better than anybody. It's a very tight. Do you know how many people are in Seoul? Do you know how big the city of Seoul is?

38 million people? That's bigger than anything we have. 38 million people. For the record, always 10 million people live in Seoul, not 38 million. Wow. Trump was so wrong, but with so much confidence. I would pay anything to see him be a contestant on the price's right. So what's your bid on this new dishwasher? That's easy.

Fifty-seven billion dollars, Drew. What? I know, I know it all. See, this is why I don't really think Trump is a billionaire. Not because he's a liar, not because he's a fraud. Just because I don't think he understands how numbers work. He's like, okay, Trump Tower, that's worth 80 billion plus plus Marilago, another 52 billion. I'm worth 675 billion folks. But once again, this just proves that if you say a number with confidence, anyone will believe you.

98% of people know that. So look, there are many leaders around the world who are failing. Failing, failing, failing right now. But the good news is, there are many other leaders who are rising to the occasion. South Korea's leaders handed their coronavirus policies to medical experts and it quickly brought the virus under control. South Africa's president has been lauded for being quick to shut down the country and laying out plans.

And here in America, in the absence of leadership from the White House, governors from California to Ohio are stepping up to fill the void. Basically what's happening in America is whatever happens when a family has like an alcoholic dad and then the kids just have to raise themselves. That's what's going on in the US right now. Yeah, Trump is AWOL so the kids are just like, all right, I guess I'm just going to drive to the supermarket? Yeah, I'll just drive myself. Kathy, do you want to make the thoiiiiiiuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu tho tho tho tho tho tho to tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thoi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. thea. thea drive to the supermarket? Yeah, I'll just drive myself. Kathy, do you wanna make lunch? And the one governor who's crushing at the most right now is Andrew Cuomo, yes.

Thanks to his handling of the coronavirus, his approval rating has soared to a seven-year high. And, this is crazy. He's even becoming something of a coronavirus crush for many people. Yeah. People online are falling in love with him because of coronavirus and now he's handling it. And I'm not going to lie, those people include me. My Tinder profile now lists me as a Quomo sexual.

And the thing that I've been enjoying about Quomo is that in these dark times, he also provides us with some entertainment. It's not just facts, it's not just plans, it's entertainment. I wait for his interviews on CNN that he has with his brother, because they always yield gems like this. Let me ask you something, with all of this adulation that you're getting for doing your job, are you thinking about running for president? Tell the audience. No, no. No, you won't answer?

No, I answered. The answer is no. No, you're not thinking about it? Sometimes it's one word. I said no. Have you thought about it? No. Are you open to thinking about it? No. Might you think about it at some point?

No. Might you think about it at some point? No. How can you know what you might think about at some point right now? Because I know what I might think about and what I won't think about. But you're a great interviewer, by the way. Appreciate it. Learn from the best. Okay, from now on, we should make it a rule that every single politician has to be interviewed by their siblings. Because siblings don't give a fuck. Did you see how he interrogated him?

Are you running for president? No, are you running for president? No, are you running for president? Leave me alone. Leader says what? What? Ah, you got me. So look, right now, leaders around the world, they might want to take this crisis a little more seriously. Because remember this, coronavirus will disappear someday.

But your screw-ups will never go away, not even with a sauna and a couple shots of vodka. But let's get to a much more important issue. If you're like me, you've probably spent all your time over the last three weeks at home. The only face you've seen outside your family is probably Mr. Clean. And after spending all this time at home, the big question I have is, What day is it? Does anyone even know? Well, to help me figure it out, I called my good friends,

Roywood Jr., Michael Costa and Dulcey Sloan. And I think we figured it out. Tough question. I would go with Friday. You know, it feels late in the week, plus I'm at a clean underwear at this point. No, no, no, no, no, it's got to be Sunday because I'm not in church, but I feel a little guilty about it. All of y'all are still stuck in the old school. I don't even operate in concepts of days anymore. To me, this week is just one, 168 hour long day. I call it Monday to, fried. the the tatter. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. to. tod. to tod. today. to to today. to to to to to to to to to to to to today, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. the the the the. the the the today. the today. the today. the today. today. today. today. the. the. the. just one 168 hour long day. I call it Monday to fried tatter day. Monday, what, Roy?

Muntoo fried tatter day. Okay, look, I don't know about that. Here's what I think. I did a show yesterday, but I didn't do a show the day before, so I think that that means yesterday was Monday, so I think today's Tuesday. No, that's ridiculous. If today's Tuesday, then why am I drunk? Well that that's because you have a drinking problem. No, you have my drinking problem. Man, how the hell are we supposed to know what a day it is anyway? I'm not even sure if it's two day.

It could be yesterday for all I know. Wait, I got it. I had tacos last night. That was usually on a Tuesday, so that makes today, wetter day. What, whetter day? Roy, were you trying to say Wednesday? God damn, it's been so long. I don't forget. I don't to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say. I don't to to say to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the to today. today. today. today. thea. today. today. today. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to today's it's turds day turd stay yeah wait wait wait wait wait wait wait guys I'll just look at my phone of course the phone check your phone

yeah it's Tuesday March 31st wait wait wait there is no way it's the theynigh it's to be a thir. It can't be March. March finished like a year ago. Yeah, that doesn't make sense. It's got to be at least August right now. Yeah. It's Thursday, August 1st, Trevor. Boom, right on my phone.

That sounds like to me. Me too. Mm-hmm. OK, well, I guess we figured it out. Thursday, August 1st, 2023. Thank you so much, guys. All right, when we come back, we're gonna be talking to NBA star Kevin Love, so stick around.

What's the treaty? What's the minute's premiered in September 1968? There was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change.

Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, A Second Look, starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back to the Daily Social Distancing Show. It's a new song I wrote. I hope you like it. Earlier today, I had the chance to speak with NBA Superstar Kevin Love about Life with No Basketball

and how he kicked off a movement to help out arena workers when the NBA shut down. Check it out. Kevin Love, welcome back to the show, but technically welcome for the first time to the daily social distancing show. How are you holding up? It's been a different time to navigate, I think, for all of us. It's just ridden with a lot of stress, anxiety, the unknown. I mean, forget sports for a moment, just, you know, every walk of life and really everywhere in the world. But the U.S., with the most cases now, you just, you have to tip your hat to, really the heroes in this time is grocery, grocery star workers, pharmacy, people working at the pharmacy, but really

the doctors and nurses, I mean, they're really putting in, you know, a lot of a lot of time, but this has been, like I said, a different time to navigate and find ways to keep busy mentally and physically. It definitely has been a difficult time to navigate, but it feels like the NBA and many of its players have stepped up in a really powerful and unique way. I remember the shock when the NBA announced that they were suspending the season. I mean, nobody thought it would happen. And then very quickly, we started to hear stories about how many people who worked in

these arenas wouldn't have a job. And you were one of the first players who stepped up and said, hey, I'm going to give my own personal money to help pay for these people. I'm going to help raise money to pay for these people's salaries. And then the owners started stepping in. Other players did as well. Why did you feel was so important for you to do that? And how did you get everybody mobilizing?

What was the attitude the attitude of the NBA? Yeah, well it was about, I guess, Wednesday would be three weeks, you know, since that night in Oklahoma City when it was the jazz versus O.K.C. and, you know, I woke up the next day just just thinking about, you know, kind of like I mentioned, the stress and anxiety of this time and not knowing when or if these people and these families are going to be able to put food on their ta ta ta ta ta ta tha tha tha th.... th. th. th. th. th. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know, you thi, you thi, you thi, you, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you're, you're, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you, you thi, you thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. these people and these families are going to be able to put food on their table. I mean, a lot of these people are living paycheck to paycheck, and these are people that are a part of not only my story, but the Cavs organization. And you start to develop a first-name basis and first-name relationship with these people and start to ask about their family and you see them when you come into the arena,

see them when you leave the arena. So I thought it was important to just take care of people that have taken care of me so long and are part of my story, honestly, on and off the floor. Yeah, human beings are resilient, but you're right, everybody needs help getting through it, especially now. One of the things I've always appreciated about you is how open you've been in discussing anxiety, depression, you know, opening up that conversation in the NBA and then getting people more comfortable speaking about how to deal

with these issues in society. Coronavirus has presented a completely unique challenge for many people who suffer from anxiety or even depression where many of your circles are removed from you. Many people don't have the networks that keep them mentally as healthy as they'd like to be. What have you been doing during this period and what advice would you give people out there who go, Kevin, I'm not coping and it feels like this is triggering everything that that gets me to the place I don't want to be in.

Well, I know I can say it right back at you. I gotta tip the hat because I know that this mental health has been a part of your story as well. So just, you know, continuing to create community in that aspect. I think that's a huge thing during this time. You know, people will look back, you know, they're not gonna look back on their deathbed and say, hey, I wish I would have earned more money. I wish I would have, you know, have more fame.

They're gonna say, you know, that those relationships are really what brought them joy and happiness. So I feel like the same for you, especially with your book, that a lot of people came out in droves and large numbers and just expressed kind of the things that they had gone through and things that they had experienced, whether it be first hand or somebody just removed from their inner circle, because we all have people that go through stuff,

and we all grieve and deal with loss at one point or another, but this social isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation is, another, but this social isolation has been, speaking and navigating this time, very, very different. I had done it at NBA All-Star, I'd done a panel with Janice and Chris Paul, Mike Wilbon and President Obama, and he had brought something up to me that it's such a social issue, like during this time, especially when it comes to mental health and depression and anxiety, that it's the isolation and it's the loneliness that is so devastating during this time. And I, that really stuck with me when he said that because I think that's sometimes lost on people.

And I'm fortunate to have a lot of great friends in my life and be able to you know talk with people like you that can scale up this message and you know allow people to you know further these conversations but that loneliness part of it is is you know very very scary and I think it's important for people to know it's normal to feel this way. Right let me ask you this before I let you go. Everyone is wondering how the NBA is going to come back th. th. to come to come to come to come th. to come to come th. to come th. th. th. to come to come th. to come th. to come th. thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. thi that thi that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to the to thi. to to to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that that that that that that that th feel this way. Right. Let me ask you this before I let you go. Everyone is wondering how the NBA is going to come back if and when it comes back for this season. People are hoping the NBA can kick off in maybe late May, maybe June, maybe July.

Everyone knows that means the season is going to be compressed, but the NBA has said they want a champion. So would you rather have the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to have the rather have it that the season just becomes really short and it's almost like a playoffs to a playoffs or would you rather the season goes later in the year and then the next season starts a little bit later or you just go straight? What would you hope as the ideal scenario for the NBA right now? So I'm going to answer the second part first because I've had this conversation with a number of guys as well as a couple of coaches and former coaches is that we have the best schedule.

It's a scholastic schedule. You get summers off. So selfishly, and I've done it for what, 25 years now of organized basketball is that we've always had that schedule where it's been, you know, September and October through if you go all the way to the finals, it's through June, and then we get the summers off. So we have it really good, and that doesn't, that's not lost on any of us. And obviously, drastic times, drastic measures, but, you know, we would like to keep the same schedule 82 games. But I would see a situation where because guys might th a little out of shape and don't know how to get through this time because it is new, that they will then have like a two-week

training camp, play 10 games, and then it'll go into some sort of a playoff scenario, and I don't know if they'll play seven games or they'll play a five game series that we haven't seen right a long time, and then they'll have have the finals have the finals have have they'll have the finals but I do think because we've had so many of these sports taken away from us that the ratings will be incredibly high and it'll be you know in basketball how it is it'll be anybody's game anybody's championship so as a as a fan myself that'll be fun to watch. Well Kevin thank you so much for your time man. I hope you thank th you th you th you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th than than than thi than thi than thi the the the the the the the the the the the the. the-a' the-a' the. the. the. the-a the-a the-a the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to thean. to their to to their to their their to their their thean. their thean. their their their the for your time, man. I hope you keep in shape and stay safe out there, man. Good luck to you, and hopefully we'll be seeing you on the court sooner than later. All right, likewise. Thanks, buddy.

Thank you, Kevin, Love. Good luck out there, man. Well, that's our show for today. thooe, thoo'e, tho'e. tho, tho, tho, tho-s, tho-s, thi. tho-s. thi. thi. thi. thi. too-s. thi. too-s. too-s. too-s. too. to to to to to to too-s. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. country are still struggling to get the masks, gloves, and gowns that they need to protect themselves. But you can help. So please go to Thrive Global's First Responders First and donate whatever you can to get PPE to the people saving lives right now. And if you want to help in New York City specifically, then you can go to the New York Mayor's

Fund, COVID-19 response and donate there. Stay safe out there, wash your hands, don't murder your roommates, and I'll see you again tomorrow. The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it.

This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts.