The Daily Show: Ears Edition - What the Hell Is Space Force Up To? Ronny Chieng Investigates

Episode Date: August 24, 2022

Spaceships. Lasers. It’s the military in space! Ronny Chieng heads to the Pentagon to find out what Space Force, the sixth and coolest branch of the military, does.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Space Force. The latest branch of the armed forces that after 30 years of planning finally sprung into existence thanks to the support of our last military genius. We are going to have the Space Force. But after a rocky launch, most Americans still don't know what Space Force actually does. Until now. I'm here at the Pentagon to find out what Space Force the sixth and coolest branch of the U.S. military

does. I'm talking spaceships, lasers. It's the military in space. Brah! Let's go check it out. Don't ask me how I got clearance. I'm not even an American citizen. Somehow I scored an interview with the very first head of space force, four-star general Jay Raymond, at the geometry theme headquarters of the US Department of Defense. Obviously a space military is cool as hell, but I wasn't sure what they actually do. So, I made sure to prepare for this exclusive one-on-one interview. General Raymond, thank you so much for seeing on this. Why is it called the Pentagon? Have you ever seen the Pentagon shape?

Wait, you're saying Pentagon is a shape. Right. Like what? Pentagon. Take a look at the building. You obviously studied hard in school. Okay, General, Space Force. We're talking lasers, spaceships, rockets, fighting aliens.

Absolutely not. The mission of the Space Force is really to protect and defend the capabilities that we have in space and to deter conflict from beginning in space or extending into space. What does Space Force do? Let me give you an example. We operate for the world free of charge the GPS constellation that provides you navigation and provides the world a timing signal for everybody to use. Most people don't know that that's provided free a charge by the United States Space Force. Space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space. th th th th th space th space th th space to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tea the the thea thea to thea to use. Most people don't know that that's provided free of charge by the United States Space Force. Space Force gives GPS for free to the world. Yes, sir.

Why don't you open with that? You call their self-ause for the to's. Because we do a lot more than that. Yeah, but you go with the thing that people know. We do. We do, we. We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do satellites that detect any kind of launch around the globe and provide warning of that. And so it's very critical to us and our competitors or our adversaries have watched us and have seen us integrate space into everything that we do. Who are our adversaries? Specifically Russian and China.

They're building space capabilities for their own use. So for example, they have a satellite that they launched in 2017, I call it a nesting doll satellite. It's a satellite that opens up and another satellite comes out, and it opens up and a projectile comes out. Oh my god. Designed to kill a satellite. Do all these nations satellites adopt their country's cultures? Like, does a Chinese satellite and chopsticks come out and like pick on the other satellites? China has a satellite that has a robotic arm. With chopsticks on it. A robotic arm that can reach out and in the future grab another satellite and satellites don't like to be grabbed. What is the plan to stop that?

I won't go into all the details of what we can do, but let's just say I'm very comfortable that we can have five other militaries. General why did space source become its own branch of the military? The Air Force has a lot of responsibilities that it does. It's primarily focused on the air domain and the thought was because space was so critical to us we had to stand up a separate service to be able to focus on it. So atmosphere-wise where does the the Air Force end and space the space? and space the space the space the space the space the space the space the space the space the space the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th, the the the th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the is thea. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to stand up a separate service to be able to focus on it. So atmosphere-wise, where does the Air Force end and Space Force begin? There's really not a firm, you know, dedicated, recognized. Clouds. Clods.

But what we, what happens is... Above clouds, space force. You can think of above where airplanes work, wings work, and where orbital dynamics takes over roughly about 100 kilometers. So above 100 kilometers, that's where the space force people are? No, in fact, our force is on the ground. So they come in every day and sit behind a computer. Largely, a lot of their work is done behind computers, in terminals, operating capabilities,

or in optical telescopes looking out in space. So Space Force is less starship troopers than more office space. But are these keyboard warriors even ready to protect us from the real threats fencing mankind? Have you considered maybe looking a little outwards and looking at the threats that are external that might be coming to earth. For example, aliens that might be coming. So again, our mission is a little bit closer to home.

NASA's mission is more exploratory and more science, and so they have gone out. I get it, General Space Force GPS, NASA, nerd shit, but we need some dudes who look as scary as you with guns pointing outwards in case aliens come. I'm not naive or closed-minded to think that there might be something that would be out there, but we're not focused on aliens. All right, well, it just seems like it's a big hole in the national defense plan. And if no one's going to plug that hole, I just feel like maybe space force should step up and, you know,

maybe provide some orbital defense against aliens. Thanks for your advice. Okay, well, General, thank you for taking a time to speak to me, even though Space Force has nothing to do with lasers or aliens or spaceships and I wish it was cooler. I do appreciate the need for a GPS system that works. Thank you for the opportunity. I couldn't be more proud of the guardians that I appreciate the opportunity to tell their story because most Americans don't understand what they do. I agree.

So even though I'm still not sure what it does. Space Force represents what the American government does best. Find new ways to give billions of dollars to the military industrial complex. But hey, if they're going to offer free GPS, then I say, live long and prosper, Space Force. The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition. Subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and stream full episodes anytime

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