The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Why Do We Celebrate Black Friday?

Episode Date: November 24, 2023

Daily Show Host Jon Stewart recounts the trials and tribulations of gathering with family for Thanksgiving and how Thanksgiving has been overtaken by Black Friday. Then, Desi Lydic investigates why we even celebrate Black Friday. And, New Yorkers disprove Ronny Chieng's Thanksgiving opinions. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show. It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself, TGID. Thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday?

I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central. We're today. We're that baby. Welcome to the Daily Show. Thank you very much. My name is John Stewart. We have put together a program for this very evening. I know what you're thinking though.

You're thinking like, hey man, where the hell have you been? What, you get 10 days off for Thanksgiving? What are you, a student at a boarding school? Yes, we do get the 10 days for Thanksgiving, and no. A student at a boarding school, although I do sleep in a bunk bed, and I am on a field hockey team. It was a very fun week off, though. I spent it like I always do. I tracked down the Turkey President Obama pardoned, and I brought him to justice!

Just because... He the! He he, he, he, he. I brought him to justice. It's because his powerful friends in Washington pardoned him doesn't mean he won't be held accountable for his crimes. Turkey. We were in the back of the office, all feeling pretty relaxed.

You know nothing is really more relaxing than eating a long and drawn out meal with your extended family. People you spend all year avoiding, now they're in your house, hovering in the kitchen, opening drawers, pitching you ideas for your show. Jonathan, I was at the bakery. And the man in front of me said, who's next? And I said, take a number, you'll find out. And you should use that and what are your skits? It's like Seinfeld, but yeah.

So it's a little stressful. That's why I like Black Friday. A lot of people don't like Black Friday the day after Thanksgiving. I don't like it for the shopping. I like to do it because it's a great opportunity to take out the suppressed rage that my relatives help generate inside me and then unleash that on complete strangers. At a best buy, you know what I mean? Just so they know. I didn't pin the guy from the Geek squad against the wall by his neck. Because I really cared toed to their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the. I'd the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I like the. I like the. I like the. I like the. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I'm their. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm te. I like. I like. I liked. I like. I liked. I like. I liked. I like. I liked. I like. I liked. I like. I like, the. I didn't pin the guy from the geek squad against the wall by his neck. Because I really cared they were out of 50-inch plasma TVs. I pinned him there because for some reason my family thought my brother-in-law's cousin should carve the turkey that I spent all day cooking because he's been struggling.

You know what? Let me just say this. Let me just say this. You cook it, you carve it, Jeff. That's just the fucking way it is. Now all I need is to get a relative name Jeff in that way. Next Thursday, obviously, is a time to gather with family. Uh-huh. Now all I need is to get a relative name Jeff. Next Thursday, obviously, is a time to gather with family to

commemorate the feast that Native Americans prepared for a struggling pilgrim settlement today that we refer to as Thanksgiving and the Native Americans refer to as an enormous mistake. But eat quickly for you'll need your strength. Almost all the big stores are opening earlier than ever on the holiday. But eat quickly, for you'll need your strength. Almost all the big stores are opening earlier than ever on the holiday. Kmart will be among the first to open at 6 a.m. Walmart, Target, Toys R Us, JCPenney, Best Buy, Big Lots, Coals, Sears, Old Navy, they're all going to be open on Thanksgiving. Every store in the vinegar world.

Open. Dildo Depot open to tooth important Open just gerbils open F*** a bear workshop open Open Open Open Open open So if you're thinking, well I guess I have to shop all day, but surely once the store

is close, I can go home and get a solid 15 minutes of Thanksgiving and I think again. Kmart's opening for 41 hours straight from 6 a.m. Thanksgiving morning until 11 p.m. on Black Friday. Do you have any idea what this means? If someone tramples you for a Furby Thursday morning, they don't find your body till Friday night. All right, so maybe Thanksgiving's become a pregame for Black Friday, but at least they cannot take away a turkey. Butterball, which produces about 20% of all U.S. turkeys says there will be a shortage of fresh turkeys that are 16 pounds or larger. Are you kidding me?

If my turkey's not at least 16 pounds, then why am I having, I might as well eat a hummingbird. Stuffed with a single crouton. Maybe a, maybe a sousant of crazen. Why are you doing this to us, turkeys? Butterball says this year their turkeys had a decline in weight gain, which is limiting supplies of fresh turkeys. They're not saying why the birds are actually smaller this year. Hello. Perhaps we should go right to the source to find out what's going on with the turkeys. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the show.

Turkey number 3740, inspected by number five. Welcome to the show! Hey! Hey, everybody! Hey, how's it? Hey, how's it? Hey, how's it? How you doing?

How you're doing? Thank you very, thank you very much John. How you doing? Nice to see. What's going on? Uh, so, uh, Turkey, let me, uh, let me, uh, let me, uh, let me ask your question. Why, what is it? What is it? What is it? What? What is it? What? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? negative let's do it why you know you try and get healthy you start living your best self everybody applauds turkeys do it suddenly yeah what a bad guy you fuck you all tickets oh I don't know I didn't realize that you're just trying to slim down you're trying to look better yeah yeah you know cut down the sweets the antibiotics you know I guess it doesn't help that I don't know I'm I'm stacked in a cage with a thousand of the thirkeys and we live in our own... I don't know. By the way, if I may ask a question, where are you right now? Where do you think I am, you piece of shit, I'm at my lawyer's office? What, for what, what do you need a lawyer for? Why the fuck me? Look at me! Does this look this look normal look this look th normal look th normal look th normal look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look the the the to look? Look to look? Look to look? Look to look? Look, look? Look, look? Look, look, look, look? Look, look? Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look? Look, look? Look, look? Look, look? Look, look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look? Look, look? Look, look? Look, look? Look, look? Look, look? Look, look? Look, look? Look, look? Look at to to to to th. Look at th. Look at th. Look at th. Look at th. Look at th. Look at th. Look at th. Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look? Look, look? Look, look? Look, look? Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! I don't have a fucking head!

I'm gonna sue all you pricks, all of you's! So cold, where are my feathers? Do I still have my beautiful feathers? Do I still have my beautiful feathers? Uh, you do not? Uh, you do not? They're gone? They're gone. Suing you pricks is too good for you. Wait on a second. Where are you going, sir? Where are you going? Where, get back here?

Where are you? What's going on? What's, what's going on? Come here, you, mother-a-a-a-a-a'- I'll carve you, I'll show you what it's like to be carved you! Where are you? Point me in the right direction! I will fucking cut you like a bitch!

Come on! Son of a bitch! Where are you? All right, thank you very much. We'll be right back. That's... Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly, theeewea the-wea-wea-wea-wee-wee-wee-wee-weak-tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttoday-today-tha-tha-thae, to-thae, where to-thae, where to-o, where to-n, where to-n, where to-n, where to point to point to point to point to point to point to point to point to to to to to to to to to to to to to to-ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttoday-a-a-wo-wo-wo-wo-c. to-wo-wo-wo-c. to-wo-c. to-w here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show coming out every Thursday.

We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient-to-bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back to the Daily Show. Next Thursday night, America celebrates the holiday that defines it as a nation. Black Friday. But where did Black Friday come from? Well to find out, we tu-it-Well. Well, to find out we turn to Desi America celebrates the holiday that defines it as a nation.

Black Friday. But where did Black Friday come from? Well, to find out, we turn to Desiliteic in another episode of, Why do we celebrate this? Hey, get back. This one's my. You all ready to die for this flat screen because I am. Hello my shopaholics, Maxineistas, mall rats, coupon clippers, bargain bitches, capitalism warriors and sales sluts.

It's the holidays and that means one thing. Family. No, I'm kidding, that means shopping. What the fuck? Like many of you, I too will be going out on Black Friday. One of America's most treasured excuses to buy shit. And Black Friday seems like something that's been around forever. I mean, I can't remember a time when Black Friday didn't exist. Then again, my memory is a little fuzzy from all the head trauma from previous

Black Friday's. The history of Black Friday is actually quite interesting. It started in the 1920s when retail stores wanted to set a clear beginning to the Christmas shopping season. So department stores like Macy's created grand parades to signal to Americans it's time to start spending cash. Although back then parade balloons weren't as cute as the ones today. You know, classics like Puff the Methuel Dragon, whimsical, whimsical drifter murderer, and thick daddy Superman. Maybe they were hoping to scare people to run inside the stores? I don't know. The point is, retailers depended on a big Christmas shopping season and were willing to do whatever

it took to make it as long as possible. In fact, during the Great Depression, they even lobbied President Franklin Roosevelt to move Thanksgiving a week earlier to allow for more Christmas shopping. And after his cousin finished giving him a hand job, FDR agreed. Eventually they moved Thanksgiving back, but the retailers got what they wanted because over the next few decades, more and more people began their Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving. But the first time the day was called Black Friday was in the 1960s. It was actually coined by the Philadelphia Police Department because the day brought tons of traffic and chaos.

And for shopping to cause chaos in Philadelphia, it has to really be chaos. I once set fire to a mannequin at a Zara in Philadelphia, and they didn't even kick me out at store. They just threw it in the burnt mannequin pile. Sorry. It was in the 1980s that Black Friday that nationwide, and it was all thanks to America's obsession with the adorable little vegetable human monster hybrids known as the cabbage

patch kids. I got this one for $3,000. And I had to get punched by a lot of grandmas to get it, but it was worth it. The toys were in such high demand that it caused literal riots across America. People fought their neighbors' tooth and nail to pay for some lettuce-shaped plastic. But all the violence was worth it for that precious Christmas morning when their kids would open the box, see the Cabbage Patch Kid and then play with the box. The Cabbage Patch Kids set the standard for all sorts of Black Friday crazes throughout the 90s. From Furbies to Beanie

Babies to Tickle Me Elmos to countless other toys bought by newly divorced dads trying to buy their way into their kids' hearts. By 2002, nearly three quarters of all shoppers were in stores over Black Friday weekend. It was paradise for people looking for deals and robbers looking for unguarded homes. Black Friday was so successful that stores started pushing the start time back from Friday morning to Friday at midnight and then all the way back to Thanksgiving night itself. They called the new holiday, Gray Thursday, as a tribute to the moral gray area of abandoning your family on Thanksgiving to choke out a stranger for an instapot. Oh, it's ready. And throughout this time, Black Friday doorbuster sales

became more dangerous as consumers turned every big box store into a big octagon arena. It got so bad that in 2011, you were statistically more likely to be injured in a Black Friday sale than from a shark attack. Unless that shark is also at the Black Friday sale, and then it depends on whoever wants that blender more. Got it! Yes!

But sadly, the good times and horrific injuries couldn't last forever. With the dawn of online shopping, Black Friday became less relevant than the newer, shinier, two-day primary holiday that took its place. Along came Cyber Monday, an easier way to score to to to to to to score to score to score to score to score to score to score to score to score to score to score to score to score to score to score to score to score to score to score to score to score to s to to s to s to s. to s. to tooffic, the to to too. to, to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the. the. the. toda. today. today. today. today, today. today, today, too. too. the. the. the. the. took its place. Along came Cyber Monday, an easier way to score deals while avoiding the mobs at in-person stores. It's just another way technology has pulled us further apart. I mean, sure it's more convenient, but think of what we lose when we no longer have that

one-on-one air fryer to skull contact. It's sad. Also, in recent years, retail employees have begun pushing back on so-called holiday creep, which is a term for stores expanding their holiday shopping periods into Thanksgiving, not what happens when your weird cousin hits the egg-nog too hard and tries to go FDR on your underparts. But even as its golden days are behind it, Black Friday is still an American institution, standing tall beside Thanksgiving, and the Super Bowl and the Purge. And now that you know its history, don't forget to keep it in perspective. Sure, saving money is great, but this season isn't about fighting some stranger at a store.

It's about gathering your family and fighting with them. So happy shopping season. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to start practicing for the big day. Hey, step away from that Dyson! You think I won't pull out this pin? Well, guess what? Tick-Tock, mother-faw? Thanksgiving is coming, and everyone's arguing about CDC guidelines, but what about the non-political Thanksgiving issues? For those, I'm here to argue with random strangers on the street.

And prove me wrong. Thanksgiving edition. Thanksgiving is the worst holiday. No. Why? No. Why? Family gets together.

Oh, it's all- It already sounds terrible. I said it. No. Why? What? Why? Family gets together. It's all. It already sounds terrible. But it's fun peeling vegetables with family. Family. Yeah. We're peeling vegetables?

That's your big argument. It's not the worst holiday because Columbus day is a holiday. So they're our worst. Wait so you actually genuinely have a good time. I do thi tha tha tha tha to tha tha to tha tha to tha tha tha tha tha? I do have a great time. Just how much weed do you guys smoke during Thanksgiving to get through it? It depends how much extended family is there. So what is the worst holiday? I have to say, and God forgive me, I'm Irish, but St. Patrick's Day can be really brutal in the city. St. Patrick's Day is amazing because on Thanksgiving, people get blackout drunk. You got a travel, and travel, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and I I I I I their, and I their, and I's, and I's their, and I's their, and I's their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their is their, their, their, their, their, their, their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their, so is their is their, so is their is their is their is their is their is their, so is their is their, some. So. Soo, some. Soo, some. their is their is the is thease is theaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseasease. thooooo. I is theaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseh. I is terrible and things get because this travel. Well, okay. Haven't you heard of zoom? Okay. Oh man, after two years of zooming nonstop, I would love to zoom on my day off with my family. That sounds amazing. It's supposed to be one

peaceful day about being thankful, you know, being thankful for like your family. You're than, their family. they're thaned than than than than thathe. thathe. thathe. thathe. Oh, thathe. Oh, thathe. Oh, thathe. Oh, thathea. Oh, thathea. Oh, thathea, thathea, after, after, after, after, after than, after to their, after their, their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooom. Oh, tooom. Oh, thoom. Oh, thoom. Oh, thoom. Oh, thoom-s. Oh, their. their-a. their-s. their the tom-s. the tom-s. tom-s. tooom-s. tooomb-a. Yeah, that's another thing to bring up with a family during the holidays. Whether we receive enough love as a child. Did you? Yo, this is starting to feel a little bit like therapy. Okay, so just so you know I'm not paying you for this. All shoes should have buckles, prove me wrong. I think shoes should just, you know, not bucked. the shoes should just to to to just, you to just, you to just, you to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, thuck, thuck, thuck, thuck, thuck, thubles, thuice, thuice, thoes, thoes, thuice, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes, tha, tha, look at what the fuck you're wearing. Wait, are you wearing dress crooks? Look, Pilgrims got a lot of stuff wrong. Genocide, not great. Turkey, you could pick a better animal to eat. But buckles, dude they

nailed it. First time, boom. Okay, buckles aren't appropriate for every occasion. Like what? If you're gonna hit the beach, you gotta pop on some flip-flop. Pilgrims landed on a beach with buckles. But don't you want your feet to like breathe, be open? I don't need people's feet to breathe. I'm not Quentin Tarantino. They'll make shoes more expensive. Sure, but isn't part of the appeal of footwear that they're expensive as fuck? That's Nike, that's Nike built a goddamn a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. I I I I I I's. I's. I's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's thii-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. thehea-a-a-sha-sha-a-Ihihihieckeckecklapecklaphockeh. th. th. th. thathea-I's not not not nota-a-a-a- empire based of that. But speaking of Nike, a lot of shoes they sell come with Velcro Shaps, not buckles. Yeah. I feel like that's more convenient.

If you're a goddamn child, then yeah, get some Velcro. But if you're an adult, put on a buckle, like an adult. Pumpkin pie should replace apple pie as a year-round pie. Prup the that. Pumpin pie has no taste What the fuck? Have you never eaten? It's got no taste, dude. It's a squash. Okay, first of all, that's racist.

If you think it taste better, then wouldn't that make it more special to only eat it once a year? This is America. When you like something, more. Technically with hedonic adaptation if you do it less often then like you get to experience the full pleasure of it. Oh man I feel like I just ate some turkey. Okay Mr. Pilgrim first of all when you go to mom's house you don't sit down there she give you a pumpkin pie she gives you a slice of apple pie. You

tell me why you would mess with America and you would mess with mom. Hey you talk about mom's I'm to the t. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the the the the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the. the tha. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'll to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. tole. tole. tole. tole. too. te. too. I'm just. I'm just. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'm just. I'll tole. I'll about moms? I'm trying to help moms here. It's way easier to make pumpkin pie and apple pie. Just open a can and dumb that shit. That's what you do, look at that. You desecrating a mother again, opening cans. Those are the second-rate moms. Wow, now you're hating moms. No, I'm not hating my a, I'm actually. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This. This. This. This. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This. This. This. This. This. This person. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person. This person this this this this this person this this person this this person this this person this person this person this person this this person this person hates this person hates this person hates this person hates this this. This person hates moms. So only a dad would recommend that. You must be a dad. Hey, that's never been proven in court. Apple has more variety.

Like you can play around with it. You know, pumpkins just aren't as varied, so you get sick of it sooner. That's also an argument in favor of how complicated apple pies are. You have to like pick an apple. There's like 50 different variety. No, that's a pumpkin too. No, there's only one pumpkin. There's no red delicious pumpkin. Cabocha. What?

Cabocha? Japanese pumpkins. No, that's a squash. Stop trying to take away my pumpkin pie. I don't have squash pie. On pumpkin pie. Yeah. You're instigating the crowd now.

People getting mad at you. Because you're wrong. We're gonna start a fighting Union Square about this right now. Pumpkin, pumpkin. When your kid comes home for school or whatever, then you say, oh, a pumpkin a day keeps the doctor away. No, that's stupid. That's just stupid. You can't do that. You give him an apple. Yeah, but I don't give my kid apple pie to make him live longer. Nobody likes pumpkin pie. It doesn't make you feel good. It doesn't make you feel feel thapap doesn't... It doesn't do anything for you. It's just a piece of crap. Well, that's why it can only have it once a year. Well, I guess you win, and so you know what that means? I get the hat too?

Yeah. Be careful you wish for. Lots of dumb people come here and argue with. Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast Universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly

Show, it's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting, you'll be saying to yourself, TGID. Thank God it's Thursday we're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about? What are they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the weekly the the weekly the weekly the weekly the the weekly tho. the weekly the weekly the weekly the weekly. the weekly the weekly the weekly. the weekly show. the weekly show. the weekly show. the weekly show. the weekly show. the weekly show. the weekly show. the weekly show. the weekly show. the weekly show. the weekly show. the weekly show. the weekly. the weekly. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the weekly the the the the the the the the week. We weekly week. We'll. We'll. We're the the the week. Wea. Wea. We're the the weekly show. the weekly show. We're weekly show. We're the weekly show. We're the the the the the the the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options

as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.