The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Will Trump Run for President to Avoid Prison?

Episode Date: July 24, 2022

As the January 6th Hearings come to a close, senators from both parties look to amend the Electoral Count Act which would make it harder for a future president to pressure the V.P. to overturn election results. Plus, Donald Trump may announce a 2024 bid for president to avoid prison.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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in our ongoing coverage of January 6. After the weeks of televised hearings, we're learning a lot about what happened on January 6 and the days that led up to it. We learned that Donald Trump was told by his closest advisors that the election wasn't stolen. We also learned that he set up a fake election defense fund that took millions of dollars from his supporters. We also learned that he knew his crowd was armed that day and still sent them to the Capitol anyway. And after all of this, guys, I don't know about you, but I'm starting to think this

Donald Trump guy might be bad news. I, uh, I'm seeing like one or two red flags here. And I'm not the only one. Because remember how we learned in thr I thuiiiiiii. thu. thu. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thus. tho thus. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho tho tho tho thi. thi. the the the. tho tho tho tho tho tho thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. the the thi. the the the the the the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thean thean thean thean theanried to get Mike Pence to single-handily toss out the election results. You remember that part? Yeah? Well, a bipartisan group of senators has decided that shit should never happen again. Here in Washington, a bipartisan group of senators have cut a deal that would make it much tougher to pull off a repeat of what former president try to do that effort to pressure his vice president into overturning the election. One measure would reform the Electoral Count Act to make it clear that the VP's job is quote, solely ministerial and that he or she does not have any power solely to determine,

accept, reject, or otherwise adjudicate disputes over electors. Wow, this is big. This is big. Senators from both parties have agreed to amend the Electoral Count Act of 1887 to make it clear, once and for all, that the VP cannot just toss out the election results. Which yes is something everyone in America already knew except for one guy. You know? It's kind of like when in kindergarten, the teacher made an announcement to the whole class, but it was clearly directed at one kid, you know, it's like,

okay class, remember we don't poop on the toilet, we poop in the toilet. That's for everyone to everyone else that the vice president could just throw out the election results. That would make no sense. Why would you give so much power to someone who is otherwise totally powerless? It would be like handing over control of America's drones to whichever kid wins the national spelling bee. It's what the founders wanted?

But either way, this is a big deal. And it's also a good reminder for America that if an old ass law doesn't make sense anymore, you can just change that shit. Right? And don't give me wrong. I'm not saying it's because people in the day were smart as hell. All right? They studied the classics. They knew how to write in cursive. They wore top hats, all the signs of an intelligent person. But they wrote the laws that made sense for their time. Yeah, they need to spell this out because they didn't have a Donald Trump. So that law has changed. The vice president can't just overturn

the election. And knowing America and whoever writes this story, what's going to happen is Donald Trump's going to get all his people to become the electors in each state. They're going to ignore the voters rights and they're going to go, these are the votes, and then it's going to come to Kamala Harris and we're like, ma'am! But, it looks like overturning the next election might be the least of Donald Trump's worries, because after all the facts that the committee has exposed about his lost overturning, the Justice Department might be paying Donald a visit. The spotlight on the Justice Department's investigation is growing. Attorney General Merrick Garland, making it clear, he will hold accountable every person

who is criminally responsible. No person is above the law in this country. Nothing stops us. Even a poor person. I don't know how to go. Maybe I say that again? No person is above the law in this country. I can't say anything more for me now.

Damn. I've never seen that side of Merrick Garland. It looked like he was about a cutter bitch. Do you see what he did that? Yeah, he like, he turned into Samuel L. Jackson for a second. He's like, no person is above the, what about the American? He's like, what part of no person? Don't you understand, mother fuck?

I said, no person. Now, what's interesting about the story is that some Democrats are actually mad at Mary Garland because they think he doesn't really want to prosecute Trump. All right, they say he's slow rolling, he's trying to hide behind things, but I'll be honest, I get it. I think the man is in a tough spot here. Think about it. Even if Trump is definitely guilty, can you imagine what would happen if he gets sent to prison? The country would explode. You thought January 6th was bad? Trump supporters would be storming everything if he got arrested. The Capitol, the White House, the Supreme Court. The only place that would be safe from them is libraries.

Don't go in there. They got history books. But it turns out Mary Carlin isn't even tru- Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump isn't isn't go in there, they got history books. But it turns out, it turns out Mary Carlin isn't even Trump's only problem, because right now he's being investigated by everyone, right? Congress, the state of New York, a district attorney in Georgia, the men in black, and I get it. No, human beings don't just look like this. It doesn't make sense, That's not a human thing. So Trump looks like he's in a tough spot right now. But if there's one thing we know about Donald Trump, is that getting out of tough spots is his speciality.

He can get out of anything. Criminal cases, lawsuits, marriages, marriages, other marriages. And apparently, apparently Trump, apparently, apparently, It is sounding more likely that an announcement from former President Trump about a 2024 election bid is more of a matter of when and not an if. But it's not just about avenging a loss. Four people with knowledge of the situation tell Rolling Stone magazine that mounting legal issues are a motivating factor for Trump's desire to retake the Oval Office. According to the Justice Department's Office of Legal Counsel, a sitting president cannot be charged with a federal crime.

Yeah, so it turns out some people are above the law. And it's crazy that Trump might run for president so that he doesn't go to jail. Yeah, you know, it's almost wild that Donald Trump is the only person who runs for president, but has no interest in being president. You know the first time he did it to try and drum up ratings for the apprentice and now he's going to run just to stay out of jail. Like his campaign slogan is probably going to be Trump 2024 I can't do time. I actually think it would make the campaign more fun. Yeah can

you imagine if Trump's running for president while he's running from the law? At every ready, he's just like, no child should ever learn pronouns or what, oh shit, the cops are here. Rudy, open the sewer gate, you'll never get me. Pia pia pia pia pia, pia. Peep-p-p-o! So, that's the end of the first season of the January 6th committee. And it ends with the possibility of Trump going to prison. And I'm sure right now, wherever he is, the man is probably terrified. He's just like, what do I do? Melania, I can't go to prison.

How am I going to survive? Don't worry Donald. I'll give you tips. I've been a prisoner for 20 years. Watch the Daily Show, weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.