The Daily Signal - American Parents Coalition Chief Counsels Moms, Dads on Explaining Culture Wars to Children

Episode Date: June 27, 2024

Parents—not schools—should be in control of how they introduce and discuss the cultural push for radical gender ideology to their children, says Alleigh Marré, executive director of the American Parents Coalition. The Daily Signal spoke to Marré at the Road to Majority Conference of the Faith & Freedom Coalition on Friday, Marré discusses social media, the Biden administration's efforts to radically reinterpret Title IX, and defending family values with “The Daily Signal Podcast.” Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Daily Signal podcast for Thursday, June 27th. I'm Virginia Allen. American parents are facing unique challenges today that previous generations never had to tackle. How do I talk to my son or daughter about the gender identity issue? Do I allow them to have social media? Will my daughter be given a fair chance to compete in athletics or will a male take her opportunities from her? Mother, an American parents' coalition CEO, Ali Mara, sits down with my colleague Elizabeth Troutman on today's show to offer solutions and some insights to these questions and more. Stay tuned for Elizabeth's conversation with Ali Mara after this. Conservative women are problematic women. Why?

Because we don't adhere to the agenda of the radical left. Every Thursday morning on the Problematic Women podcast. Kristen I-Cammer, Lauren Evans, and me, Virginia Allen, are joined by other conservative women to break down the big issues and news you care about. Whether you're interested in hot takes and conversations on pop culture or what Congress is up to, problematic women has you covered. We sort through the news to keep you up to date on the issues that are of particular interest to conservative leaning, that is problematic women.

Find problematic women wherever you like to. to listen to podcasts and follow the show on Instagram. Thank you so much for joining us today, Allie. Could you tell us about what the American Parents Coalition is working on right now? Sure. So the American Parents Coalition was founded in March, but we've been in the space a lot longer. I started out working in the education space on school boards, and we spent about two years having some great successes,

but learned very quickly that the problems that are affecting parents, parents, families, kids in school is much bigger than just the school grounds. You know, your child would leave school and go get on the bus and go on TikTok, and you're getting it from that angle where you'd take your child to the doctor's office and be asked all kinds of questions that may be outside of your family values. So we took a step back to really expand our aperture and talk about those three things, education, culture, and health care through the lens of parental rights and parental influence. And so our organization aims to not just identify those problems, but to give parents real-world tools, to have those conversations at home and with

your schools or medical professionals so that you can be taking charge of those things for your family and affecting them today. You're not waiting for legislation or for policy changes. What advice do you have to parents whose kids are maybe starting to ask to get on social media? What should they do? Don't do it. There's a lot of research now that didn't exist 10, 15 years ago, thankfully that now it's not so much just a hunch anymore. There is clear correlation between the development and wide acceptance and use of the smartphones in young, especially young girls, but in young kids and preteens and how that's affected their mental health. Jonathan Haidt recently wrote a book called The Anxious Generation, which I recommend to everyone. It's really good,

and it's data-driven and data-specific. And so if there's any part of you that thinks, oh, well, my child should have this because we don't want them to feel left out everyone else has it which I know is a lot of parents concerns or that ship has sailed there's a lot of data in there to give you the confidence that you're making the right decision for your kids how did you get into the parental rights movement so I'm a mom myself I have three young kids and number four is on the way and it got to a point where my husband and I were talking we're looking at schools and trying to figure out what we were going to do you know with our kids and we just didn't feel like anything really aligned with our values. And it wasn't a religious thing or, you know,

specific to any one thing. It was like, how do we correct this problem when it's at every turn? And so we were having a lot of conversations at home and started talking to a lot of our peers and friends with kids of the same age and realized that it wasn't just unique to our family. And it wasn't just unique to the issues that we were concerned about. There is this overwhelming cultural push by our institutions, the three that we focus on, to come between that parent-child relationship and really have an influence over what you're teaching your kids at home. Why do you think some public schools want to separate kids from their parents and kind of turn the kids against their parents? I think there's been this just kind of cultural movement

over the last 10, 15 years where instead of understanding that childhood and school more generally are a time when you're supposed to be preparing your child for the world. Instead, you're showing your child to the world to prepare them. And it's kind of like flipped the parenting philosophy on its head in, I think, a really negative way. So instead of equipping our kids with the ability to be discerning, to learn how to do research, to understand, you know, why certain things require more weight and concentration, and instead we've just thrust them into these situations, and it's been much more of like trust your child instead of trust the parents.

And I think that that's been extremely damaging, and we're seeing that play out from a data perspective in young girls and young boys' mental health. So gender ideology is everywhere. It's pretty hard to avoid, especially this month, June. What can parents who want to protect their kids' innocence do in this world? Yeah, so we have this great resource. It's called The Lookout. And you can sign up for it on our website, American Parentscoollition.org. And what we do is it's not spammy every month. We send out one or two of these that really breaks down a problem, but doesn't just outline the problem. And this is what I think is a little bit different from other organizations. We're giving parents real world tools to have those conversations at home and equip them to send their kids out into the world better prepared to deal with it. So we just did one on Title IX, so specific to this gender and sports stuff, where we provided parents with a summary of the problem.

And then under that, we have a lot of tools for them to use. So we have a conversation guide. So parents can literally have this in front of them and call their school board or superintendent or their athletic director and ask questions about the policy. And then we give them ways to build a coalition of parents among the teammates of their daughter. that you're not just one voice. A lot of times, you know, parents are like, well, I feel like I'm standing alone on this.

So we give them advice on how to build that coalition. And then we also have sample letters that they can write to elected representatives or give to their school board. And then also talking points just for having those conversations at home because if it's hard for us as parents to have those conversations,

imagine how hard it is for the girl, your daughter, who's on that team and is being told by adults that they trust that, oh, you should be fine with this. It's about equal opportunity. So we also need to make sure that we're not just having these conversations on their behalf, but we're making sure that our children understand why and are confident in those decisions and those values so that they feel equipped to be able to be in that position and stand on their own two feet.

When parents are putting their girls on sports teams, what questions can they ask coaches or the schools or maybe the club to make sure that their daughters are protected from playing against biological males or sharing private spaces like locker rooms with males? Yeah, so that touches on what the big three are. So what is the policy? Are you deciding who's on what's team based on biology or is this gender identity? And so that's the first part of it.

The second part, of course, is like, what is your policy surrounding locker rooms and private spaces? Is my daughter expected to be the one who is, you know, responsible for making someone else comfortable? Or is that individual, if they're allowed on the team required to change and somewhere else. And we have that on our resources page. We have a whole list of these types of questions.

And then also we have some recommended places for them to go. So if the coach doesn't have that information, there's, of course, the hierarchy. If the coach doesn't have that, you go to the athletic director. If they can't answer those questions, you go to the school board directly, until you get those answers. And then that's really when you have the information that you need to be able to build that coalition of parents on that sports team or more broadly. in the female sports community in your school or in your club team to be able to make sure that

your daughter is competing in a fair and a safe way. The recent Biden Title IX reinterpretation will allow males in women's sports and women-only spaces and something we've seen in a lot of particular districts, but it looks like if this succeeds, it could make it a lot more widespread. So what can concern parents do now that changing to a different district may not be an option anymore? What choices do they have? Yeah. So this is, where it gets really, really difficult. Because, of course, the reason we're having this conversation is because we want to secure and protect those opportunities for girls.

I think we're at a point right now where it's going to require a few brave girls to continue to self-select out of those settings before the powers that be really realize that we mean business. And that's a very hard thing to do because either way, you're putting these girls in a position where they have to lose out on an opportunity to protect the opportunity for kids who may be two years behind them. There's that. And then the parents can't let up.

We cannot be afraid to have these conversations. And that's why we hope our conversation guides and talking points can help them build that confidence and be, you know, aware of all the different things that they can say and rebuttals when they're having these conversations. But it's a really, really tough place for us to be in. What age do you think parents need to start talking about gender ideology with their kids? That's a really, really good question. I think it depends a lot on who are the influencing factors in your family.

So for us specifically, our kids are in a school system in a school where we know that they're not necessarily going to be exposed to that day to day. So I feel like I can wait a little bit longer to have those conversations. Of course it's going to happen in the real world. but part of the reason that we chose, made the choices that we did was so exactly as you said, we could have that conversation and the luxury of introducing it. I think if you're in a daycare preschool or school setting where that's not the case or a sports team, etc., you really have to judge based on when you expect that to be introduced. Or if there's a faculty or staff member that has access to your child that you know,

or if there are books in their classroom or library that could introduce that topic, But personally, I would say wait as long as you can, but I think it's also important for parents to be the ones to introduce it and to get in front of it so that you can have some control over what that conversation is through the lens of your family values. Some groups and states have challenged the Title IX change. Do you think that this rule change will stand or do you think it will maybe be ruled unconstitutional? I don't think it will stand. I don't think that it's in keeping with the intent of what the rule was originally established for. And also, we are getting close to election season. And so I could see a scenario where, of course, if we have a new president who's elected, this may be one of the first things that gets pulled back,

which would probably be the fastest way for it to get corrected. But no, I don't think it will stand on the merits. What is the proper role of parents and then what is the proper role? in relation to that of teachers? I think we should absolutely have a very collaborative relationship with them. Teachers have really, really hard jobs. And it's important that we recognize and provide them with the authority that they need to be able to run their classrooms.

And so we should not be approaching every teacher as though they have an agenda and that they're an activist. I do think it's important to give them benefit of the doubt. However, you shouldn't do that blindly. At the beginning of the school year, is completely reasonable for you in your first parent teacher night, or even before the school year begins when you have that meet and greet, to take them aside or ask for an extra 20 minutes, you know, a coffee, whatever,

and have a conversation with them about your values. Because, again, that teacher may not necessarily have the ability to not have something in their curriculum. It may be something that comes down from the district, whatever. You want to know it ahead of time so that you can get in front of it. But also because the teacher may actually be on your team. They may be very, very willing to give you the heads up about that. And maybe they want you to have a conversation with the school board so that they don't have to, I mean, they don't oftentimes don't want to be the center of that controversy. They want to teach.

They want to see your kids succeed. And they want to see them graduate to the next level and continue on with their career and livelihood as well. So I think it's okay to approach it from a partnership. But you need to do the work on the front end so that you have those boundaries established as well. well. Is there an age that you think is appropriate for kids to get social media? And if not, does that mean that parents need to delete their social medias to be consistent on that? That's a really interesting way of asking that question. I tend to agree with what some of this more recent research is showing us that 16 is probably the appropriate age. To your point,

what parents do and model matters. I mean, from everything as small with young kids as as manners and how you treat other people to yes to when you're an adult and you're using social media. I think it's also important, however, to model to your kids how you deal with temptation, right? And so, like, I wouldn't have a glass of alcohol every single day in front of my kids because I want them to see that it's okay in moderation. It is not something to sit there and do all night every night. And I think the same is true of social media. When you're sitting at the dinner table, when you have face time with your child, you shouldn't be on your phone at all. You know, like you can have a family basket or whatever it is that works for you guys.

So I don't think you necessarily have to delete the app, but you need to be able to model self-control. And I think it's an important way for you to model that lesson to them so that when it is appropriate for them to have it, they know that they can put the phone down and walk away from it and have those more meaningful, impactful interactions in the real world and not just be glued to their phone. As a mom of young kids, and with one on the way, congratulations. Thank you. What are the biggest issues for your family going into this election? I think for me what is most challenging is not necessarily just the quote parental rights side of things, but parental influence. And I think this because it's a much more gray area.

And an example I give is I brought my five-year-old to a pediatric dental appointment, and they asked her whether she identified as a male or female five years old. And they didn't violate anybody's rights in that, but they then were putting. it on me and on her to have a conversation about what that meant. And she looked at them confused. She's like, I'm a girl. Confused by that. And she never followed up about it. And so I didn't feel like I needed to bridge that with her yet.

But that's that kind of undermining of parental authority and influence that we're seeing at every term where you almost get to a point where you feel like you have to self-select out of society to be able to make sure that your family is raised in a way that is an agreement with your values. So I think that's probably one of the biggest challenges. And to feel that at every turn, you turn on the TV, you walk into a store and there's a display, and to know when to have those conversations with your kids. Thank you so much for joining us and for all the awesome work you're doing.

It was really great to talk to you. Thanks for having me. With that, that's going to do it for today's episode. Thanks so much for joining us here on the Daily Signal podcast. Be sure to check out our evening show around 5 p.m. where we bring you the top news of the day. These are the headlines that you need to know to stay informed on what's happening in our world. And be sure to hit that subscribe button to you never miss out on either our morning interview

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