The Daily Signal - Katy Faust Explains How to Raise 'Conservative Kids In a Woke City'

Episode Date: September 14, 2023

Many parents, regardless of their religion, quote this biblical truth found in Proverbs: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”  But in today’s culture, parents aren't the only ones seeking to “train up” a child in the way he or she should go. Now, perhaps more than ever, we live in a society that wants to tell your child which way to go.  Even in the most radical left cities in America, however, it's still possible to raise kids who understand the truth, Katy Faust says.  “If you are very intentional about training [your children] from the minute they can talk, your kids are not doomed,” Faust says, “regardless of whether you're in a red state or a blue state, your kids are homeschooled or [in] private school or public school.” Faust is co-author of the new book “Raising Conservative Kids in a Woke City: Teaching Historical, Economic, and Biological Truth in a World of Lies." Also the founder of the pro-child rights organization Them Before Us, she joins “The Daily Signal Podcast” to explain how parents can influence their kids from a young age and raise them with the values they hold dear.  Enjoy the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Daily Signal podcast for Thursday, September 14th. I'm Virginia Allen. There's a biblical truth that it's quoted by many parents regardless of their religion. Train your child in the way that he or she should go, and when they are old, they will not depart from it. But parents are not the only ones who are seeking to train your child in the way they should go. Now more than ever, we live in a culture that is seeking to tell your child which way to go. but even in the most radical leftist cities in America, it is possible to raise kids who understand the truth, according to Katie Fost. Katie is the co-author of the new book Raising Conservative Kids in a Woke City, teaching historical, economic, and biological truth in a world of lies. Katie, thank you so much for being here.

That's great to be with you. Well, I want to begin by asking you just to share a little bit about your story. self. You are a mom, and you live in Seattle, correct? We're in Seattle. Wow, the heart of it. And you have four kids? Is that right? Yes, we're great kids. And how old are your kids? So, boy, we're at that point where they're all about to transition ages. So in a couple months, I'll have 2018, 16, and 14. So one in college and the rest in high school and then eighth grade. So largely teenagers. Yeah. Well, and I love the fact that you're, you address that you have sent your kids to public school

in the book you talk about this. And you mentioned something that is really a hot topic among many conservatives right now, which is do or don't send your kids to public schools. And many folks that I've had on this show have given that warning, that message of get your kids out of the public schools,

and you say, well, yes, there's weight to that argument for so many families, that's not an option. Right. So how have you navigated that? And what is advice to parents who they don't have an option to get their kids out of public schools? Well, and that is one of the reasons why we wrote the book because we've got friends who are homeschooling kids doing it very, very well. We've got kids who are sending their kids to private school, which is also going well. 90% of people have their kids in public school.

And some of them are sending them there because they really don't have another option. They're a single parent. We've got friends who have a divorce situation where they are not able to direct. their child's education in the way that they would prefer to. Some of them, it really is a financial decision where, especially in expensive cities, you know, even if the mom is just doing like a side gig or whatever it is. And so we wrote this because really, well, for two reasons, to say your children are not doomed. If you are very intentional about training them from the minute they can talk, your kids are not doomed, regardless of whether you're in a red state or a blue state,

your kids are homeschool or private school or public school. The other reason is like we know people who's, I mean, like I'm running the youth ministry at church right now. So we've got all kinds of kids of all stripes going to all different places. And the homeschool kids are not immune from the woke virus and the woke messages that are coming to them, right? It is finding them as well. Same thing for the kids in private school.

You know, I've got friends whose kids go to very, very conservative buttoned up schools who are, you know, marrying each other, you know, two girls marrying each other on the playground. So we are going to have to navigate and equip our children to navigate the current culture. And so what Stacy and I have done in the book is we've said, you know, here's the timeless parenting principles that we've been able to apply to this current cultural moment so that our kids who have largely gone to public schools can stand firm. They can spot the lie. They can push back, right? They know how to navigate aggressive adults or aggressive teachers. They can can win arguments, which, you know, I tell my kids you don't need to start the argument.

But if it comes to, you better win that argument. I love that. Now, chapter two of the book, you talk about getting to your kids first, being the first one to have conversations with your kid, bringing up challenging topics. That's intimidating for some parents. And I think for so many parents, their heart, is they want to protect their kids' innocence, right? You know, they don't want to introduce their kids to transgenderism before their child is even really aware at all of those terms or of sexual culture.

So what does that look like to have to, as a parent, maybe have some conversations that you're not really excited about having with your kid, but knowing, okay, it's me or it's someone on the playground. Yeah, that's exactly right. And so, you know, what we do in the book is we sort of lay out age appropriate. strategies for how to inculcate a Christian worldview or a conservative worldview into your child. And so all through elementary school, we do recommend that you filter out distortions. You filter out damaging ideas. You filter out as much as possible adults who would seek to evangelize and disciple your child into a worldview that is counter to your beliefs.

But even when you're filtering out, which is important, you do need to be the first person to alert your child to all of the really troubling things that they're going to find in the world. Now, this is called the founder's principle, and it is that whoever gets to the kid first about a challenging topic, they will automatically consider the expert. So if the first time your kid is even aware that there is something called pornography is when a fourth grader on the playground sticks a phone in his face with a disturbing video, who do you think he's going to go back to when he wants more information about it? He will go to that fourth grader.

The fourth grader has just established himself as the expert on the topic of porn. And so I'm not saying that you talk to your fourth grader or your third grader about all the disturbing ways that pornography is, you know, manifesting itself on the web. What you do need to say is, hey, there's a lot of screens in your world. You know, some at our house, some at other people's houses. Sometimes on those screens, you're going to see pictures. There could be pictures of naked people or videos of naked people. And it's kind of yucky. that's called porn.

If that happens, just let me know. That's what we're talking about. You know, hey, honey, some people think that a boy can become a girl and a girl can become a boy. But we know that's not true, right? Because your body tells you if you're a boy or girl and your body's not going to change. That's what we're talking about. So that when their teacher does say, hey, you know, John came back to school this year and now he's Janie, the kid doesn't go, oh, I've never heard this before. Let me ask my teacher some questions about it.

The kid goes, my mom told me this might happen. I can ask her. So it's very important to get to your kid first. That actually is one of the most important aspects of inculcating your worldview in your children because you have got to establish yourself as the authority in your child's life about all the controversial topics that they're hearing about today. And if you think, oh, I don't want to do this yet, just think, okay, would you rather have, you know, who do you want to talking to your kid about this? The teacher, the Internet, their friends. somebody will, it needs to be you.

Yeah. How is this played out with your own kids, Katie? Can you explain some just practical examples of what this has looked like with your own children? Well, our first, we actually, she is the only kid, oh no, I guess our second two, went all the way through private school in the elementary school years because that was actually our goal. We're like, we're going to filter this out in elementary school. And then we evaluate and actually give our kids quite a bit of freedom to decide where

they want to go to school in middle school in high school. And so we had high sheltering, high filtering out for our girls. But then the little school closed and we were not in a place to send them to another school that was going to be more expensive. So our boys went to public elementary school. And so with our girls, we were able to more successfully ensconce them. But we did still give them lots of heads up of what was happening in the world. And one of the big ways that we do that, like literally it's just such such a lot.

an amazing hack is you expose them to what it is that you're listening to. You know, you're not listening to things that are graphic or grotesque, but you are listening to, I mean, if you're listening to this podcast, if you're a subscriber to the Daily Signal, you're listening to topics about all these culture issues. You're listening to abortion interviews. You know, you're studying the harms of cross-sex hormones. For the longest time when my kids were, all of them were in elementary school, I would just listen. to cultural podcast, Christian podcasts on speaker while I cooked dinner. And anytime they were in the room with me, they were also listening to what I was listening to. So they would get Ben Shapiro's

commentary on the culture. And they would get the breakpoint podcast talking about, you know, bioethics and whatever it was. And so that actually is one of the biggest parenting hacks is you just let the world that you're, you let them into the world that you're already in, touching on these different topics. And so they know, you know, if they hear something like socialism, they'll say, oh, my mom listened to something about that, right? And then hopefully get to your kids and say, hey, there's some people that think that the government should control what you buy and what you sell. And that's really, really scary because that's part of controlling a population and that leads to really bad things. So, you know, you can get to your kids about these topics in age-appropriate ways in ways that don't violate their innocence,

which is exactly what you need to do. Now, the other side understands this critical principle of getting to kids first. that is literally why they freaked out over the so-called don't-say gay bill. They knew that if teachers were talking to third graders, that the school would then be the expert on LGBT issues, right? And so the other side understands this getting to your kids first thing very, very well. So for our kids that were younger, they got to hear the older kids having these conversations and asking these questions, which is another fantastic way to, again, in age-appropriate ways, introduce your younger kids to this.

So, for example, like, I didn't have a direct conversation with my third grader, my youngest when he was a third grader about transgenderism. I never said, hey, you know, there's people that think that boys can become girls. But he had heard the word enough. He had heard conversations with his older siblings so that when one day he came home and he said, Mom, my teacher said that boys can wear dresses. And I said, okay, what do you think about that? And he thought really hard, and he said, a boy can wear a dress. But that doesn't make him a girl.

And I said, that's exactly right. Why not? And he thought again, and he goes, that boy would have to change every cell in his body. Right. And so we had been successfully able to filter out the distortions all through elementary school, that developmental stage that you're maximizing is saturating them in truth and beauty. he had the truth of male-female differences. He had the beauty of their distinctive characteristics.

And we hammered it through the real-life examples all around him so that when the counterfeit was presented to him, at minimum he goes, this isn't right. There's something that's not right here. I'm going to go home and ask who, my mom, because my mom knows about this. So you can and should, I think, filter out distortions in elementary school. but inculcating the truth and beauty means that you are going to have to truthfully address some of the things that they're seeing in their world.

This is critical. Now, for parents who are listening and thinking, oh, no, I have a 10-year-old or a 14-year-old, I haven't started having these conversations. I haven't been playing my conservative podcasts out loud for my kids to overhear. Is it too late? Have I lost them? What would you say? So, you know, my guess is in a lot of ways, you probably have been building in the true and the beautiful in your world, right? By exposing them to church and, you know, they're seeing what you're reading.

You know, they know what you think. You've been able to share a lot of your opinions with them. So in the elementary school phase, like that is where we say truth and beauty. And why is it that we say emphasize the truth and beauty? There's a quote by D.L. Moody that says, you don't know how crooked a stick is until you lay a straight stick next to. to it. And so the elementary school years are for forming that straight, straight stick. And then middle school, your job is to introduce your kids to the distortions, to introduce them to the distortions to U.S. history, you know, to socialism, to, you know, that's when you say,

we're going to talk about, I mean, you already know that babies are incredible and wonderful, and you watched your baby brother develop in mommy's tummy, and we looked at the different stages and looked at the different fruit that studied the size of how big they were, all of that. But you know what? There's some people that think that it's okay to kill the baby while they're developing. So we're going to talk about that now. And so in middle school, that is the time when children are developmentally ready to critically think through what you have taught them, the true and the beautiful. And so if you've got a 10-year-old or you've got a 14-year-old, there's a lot of ways where you have probably communicated the true and the beautiful, maybe not as explicitly as you could have.

but you are only midway through this game at this point. And now your job actually is. They're not, yeah, they're definitely still available to hear only men and women get married and they should stay together for life. But I'll tell you what is really pressing in their world is some people think that two men can get married. And you need to talk with them about that. And you need to offer a robust apologetic about why it is that only men and women are why that is the only legitimate way for. marriage to take place if we're looking at a just society. And so if your kids are 10 or 14, you can absolutely, you know, fill in some of the truth and beauty. But I would say,

get right down to the business of being the first one to introduce them to and not just brief mentions of some people, you know, think a boy can become a girl, but, hey, you know, you're 12 and you're heading into middle school and you've probably noticed that some people will say their name and then say their pronouns. Why is that? Let's really, really talk about this idea that your body can be different than your mind. And what happens if you want to conform your body to your mind instead of your mind to the reality of your body? Let's take some time and really explore what kind of treatments these kids are going to have and the harms. Let's listen to some of the stories of people that followed this transgender treatment plan and then desisted.

right? Let's really look at what these drugs do to your body. So we go all in with our middle schoolers. A lot of people think, well, I'll talk to my kids about this in high school. Developmentally, I think that you're totally out of step if you're going to wait until ninth or tenth grade to really make your kids expert on abortion and transgenderism and marriage and male and female and socialism and distortions of U.S. history and racism. I mean, sixth grade is the time where we really really drill down and we tell our kids, we expect you to know more about this than anyone else. We expect you to be the expert on all these controversial topics when you walk into a group of friends. You may not know enough to refute everything your teacher says, but you are going to know

enough to be able to spot a lie. Katie, be very honest about the time that this takes as a parent and the investment that you are making as a parent when you do that, when you choose to have these conversations. How much time is it going to take? Well, the good news is you've got 18 years. You're going to do different things at different points, and you are going to sort of custom make this depending on the personality of your kids, the ages of your kids, is it your oldest, is it your youngest? And so that is the most incredible thing about this process is there is no one-size-fits-all program. The program is called parent. Parent is the program. You know your kids best. You're perfectly positioned to do this. You've got 18 years to get it done. And you are really, every person. everything that your kid needs. But I do think that what parents need is a bit of strategy, right? It's hard to think, oh my gosh, I have to do everything all at once. You don't. You do a few things when they're young. You change it up when they're in middle school and then you change it up further when they're in high school. So to me, that's what we're trying to do

in the book is parents already want to transmit their values to their kids. They don't want them consumed or overtaken or confused by this culture. So what we tried to do here, I mean, like, the motivation is already there. If you're listening to this podcast, you probably have your beliefs firmly fixed. You understand what you think and why. Really what we're offering here is here's a few strategies on exactly what to do at what time, at what ages, on which subjects, who should be talking about it, and how. The answer is who should be talking about it is you, the mom and dad. And then we give you some tips on how to talk about it depending on the ages of the kids. So yeah, it takes time. But that's literally what parenting is for, is this

investment. Yeah, investment in time. Now, Katie, this is not your first book, and this is in no way your first four way into these topics and into tackling how do we raise kids correctly. So you authored a book. We had you on the podcast actually in 2021 to talk about it, but at them before us, why we need a global children's rights movement. And then you founded the organization, them before us. Talk a little bit about what you all do at them before us and why this is this is not just a passing issue for you. This is something that's deeply personal. Yeah, I'm very passionate about two things. When it comes to the cultural, legal, and technological changes that are taking place across the globe in terms of marriage law or reproductive technologies

or sort of cultural normalization of modern families or whatever it is, I'm very, very passionate about don't touch the kids. Whatever's going on in your adult world, don't touch the kids. Other than that, I'm very agreeable, and I really get along with people well. But if you come for the kids, then I'm like, get behind me, Satan. Let's throw down. So that's what the first book is about, is how can we protect the fundamental rights of children, especially the rights to their own mother and father, which I'm so grateful that there are incredible organizations fighting for children's right to life, and we need every single one of them.

But right now, we are the organization that is solely devoted to defending children's rights in the family, which actually right sizes and it gives a roadmap for how to look at every issue that intersects with marriage, parenthood, family formation, reproduction, and all of that. So that's what the first book is about. And then my second book is about the other thing I'm passionate about, which is whatever's going on in the woke world, don't touch my kids. Right? So like, leave kids alone.

Leave kids alone. There's been, thankfully, a lot of fantastic attention given to parental rights. recently, which rightly so, because as we talk about in our first book, you, the parent, are statistically the most connected to, invested in, and protective of your kids. Not the teacher, not the state, not the doctor, right? You are the one that is invested in their well-being long-term. That's why you have the parental right to direct your children's upbringing in medical care, because nobody else is as connected to your kid. The first book actually looks at that issue from the bottom up. Not only do you have a right to your child, your child has a right to you.

They have a claim to their own parents. And when you look at it from the child's perspective, it's very clarifying when it comes to all different issues of marriage and family, whether you're talking about the definition of marriage, cohabitation, no fault divorce, sperm, egg donation, surrogacy, the proper understanding of adoption, same-sex parenting, transgender parenting. Like literally, you can look at any marriage and family issue. And if you're center, the child in that conversation, you're going to come out with the right personal and the right policy decisions. So it is, I would say, like, generally I'm very agreeable, but if it has to do with kids, that's kind of what gets me off the couch and into the fight. There's a red line there for sure.

The book is raising conservative kids in a woke city, teaching historical, economic, and biological truths in a world of lies. Katie, how can we follow your work? Because not only are you a book author and you have this organization, Then Before Us, you are constantly pushing truth and just so on the forefront of this parental rights movement. How do we keep up with your work?

The best place is Them Before Us.com. Go down to the bottom and subscribe. You can stay up on everything that we've got going on in terms of the children's rights movement. And there is a lot happening. We have more influence than we deserve, and I'm really, really grateful. There's a lot happening even in the next few months.

months that we're going to be sharing, but I'm on Twitter way too much. And so you can find me there at Advo underscore K-D-K-A-T-Y. And yeah, the book is going to be out in, oh my gosh, less than two weeks. Yeah, yeah, that'll be great. September 26th. It's available for pre-order now. Yes. And of course, your other book, then before us, is out and available. But we encourage folks to pick up a copy of both. Go ahead, put your pre-order in for raising conservative kids in a woke city and also pick up a copy of them before us if you haven't read it. But Katie, thank you so much for your time today. We really, really appreciate it. Yeah, very, very grateful to be on with you. Well, and that is going to do it for today's episode. Thanks so much for joining us here

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