The Daily Signal - TAKEN: California Took Away Her Daughter to Transition Her

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

A mother in California lost her daughter to the foster care system in 2016 after she wouldn't support the then-14-year-old girl identifying as a boy. Years later, the daughter regrets attempting to transition. This mother sat down with The Daily Signal's Elizabeth Mitchell to warn other parents against allowing minors to make irreversible changes to their bodies. Listen to other podcasts from The Daily Signal: https://www.dailysignal.com/podcasts/ Get daily conservative news you can trust from our Morning Bell newsletter: DailySignal.com/morningbellsubscription   Listen to Heritage podcasts: https://www.heritage.org/podcasts Sign up for The Agenda newsletter — the lowdown on top issues conservatives need to know about each week: https://www.heritage.org/agenda Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Daily Sicle podcast for Monday, September 9th. I'm Virginia Allen. You've no doubt heard stories about parents who are fighting for their kids against a system that is promoting gender ideology from a very young age. And such was the case of one California mother who tragically lost her daughter to the foster care system back in 2016, after she wouldn't support her than 14-year-old girl identifying as a boy. Today, my colleague, the Daily Signal's Elizabeth Mitchell, is sitting down with that mom to interview her about her harrowing ordeal and advice that she offers to other parents that are encountering very similar circumstances. The Daily Signal has granted this mother's request for anonymity in order to protect both her privacy and the privacy of her daughter.

Let's get to the story right after this. This is Rob Lewy from The Daily Signal. In today's media landscape, it's more important than ever to have a trusted source of news and conservative commentary. That's why we are asking for your support. Your donation helps us continue our mission of delivering accurate, factual reporting on the issues that matter most to you. Whether it's $5 or $500, every contribution makes a difference. Visit daily signal.com slash donate to help us keep a Americans informed and fight for conservative values.

The Daily Signal is your voice for the truth. Could you walk us through the timeline of how you discovered your daughter was identifying as a boy, what your family was going through at the time, and how child services got involved? Okay, so at the time, my daughter was really rebellious. She had a girlfriend that had, unfortunately, I don't know how much I want to disclose here, but unfortunately I had discovered that a girlfriend had sexually done some things to her. And I found this out by reading an email that she had written to her therapist.

And so as protective measures, I kind of kept my daughter away from this girl and she became very rebellious. And at that point, it was really strange. It just came out of nowhere. It literally came out of nowhere that all of a sudden, I want to be a boy. and I feel suicidal. And so I was concerned. So I called the police and they came out and they checked her out and like the pep team came out. And they just identified that she was just, you know, acting out.

She was stressed. She was upset with me because I was concerned about her relationship and was trying to be protective. And she didn't look at it as that. She thought it was just taking away this friend from her. And so the pep team came out and they checked her out. And then I had this cop, this officer in the living room. And she was sitting next to me, she said to me, you know, well, you know, you should just, you should just accept the fact that she's transgender. And I'm like, what?

This just came out of left field. I mean, I didn't even, there was no talk about any of it. All of a sudden, I'm going to be a boy. I want to put my breasts off, you know. And the officer was like, well, you should just be, you know, more accepting of your daughter. you know, I mean, I'm involved with the LGBTQ, you know, community, and I think you should just be accepting. And I don't come again? I like, no, I need to figure out what's going on with her.

There's some mental health crisis here going on. She's upset with me. And so that's how it all started. And then the pep team identified that she wasn't suicidal, but yet this officer went outside with the pep team, had a conversation with him after my conversation with her. and they decided to take her on a hold. And for no reason whatsoever, there was just because she was having this conversation with me and didn't feel comfortable about the conversation.

And I thought, wow, okay. And that's how it started. And then it became this thing where she became really angry with me because I was keeping her away from this girlfriend. And then so she was trying to figure out a way to get out of my house. And that's where she went to the counselor and said some things about me, got me in trouble. And I got a knock on the door from CPS saying that I abused her. And so they didn't substantiate that I was abusive or physically abusive.

And then she just kept pushing it saying, you know, my mom won't let me be a guy. She won't go buy me boy clothes. And she was going to a Catholic school at that point. And I'm like, not going to buy you boy clothes. I'm just not going to do it. You know, I bought you uniforms. That's what you're getting, you know? So it became this like defiant situation where I want to be a boy.

And but literally, like I said, it was, it just kind of came out of left field. If that's the question you asked me, pretty much that's how it transpired from me, taking away this relationship that she had with a girlfriend to all of a sudden I want to be a boy. And what had been going on kind of in the past few years that you think might have influenced this decision? I don't see anything, nothing. 14 years old. She was going to, she was in middle school, Catholic school, and she was doing well. She was on the sports teams. There really wasn't anything. No crisis. She was always a straight A student, played the piano. I mean, she was a great kid. I didn't see it coming. So that's why it was really hard to believe that this child that I, you know,

felt had so much potential all of a sudden switched on me. and, you know, basically turned me into CPS for not, you know, letting her pursue something that I was, at that point, I didn't know a lot about it either. I wasn't like super educated about it either. I just felt like, no, there's something else going on here. And how do you think she got the idea in her head that it was possible that she would be? Internet. It started with the Internet.

I found out that she had some guy on the Internet that was transgender and he was a guy who thought he was a girl. and I don't know. And I kept saying, you don't know who you're talking to online. You don't know if that person's like 50 years old. You really don't know the person. So she was talking to someone online and apparently doing some inappropriate things with this person online. And I thought that I had pretty good security on my internet, but apparently not.

Where do you think she got the idea to accuse you of emotional abuse in the situation? Oh, totally. online. She even admitted it to me later on that it was she was influenced by people online, you know, what you need to do to get out of your house. If she's not going to let you do what you want to do, then, you know, this is what you need to do to get out of your house. And were these people online parts of groups or just independent people trying to help kids who say they're transgender kind of get away from their families? Not really sure. Yeah.

And the accusations of emotional abuse almost cost. you, your livelihood as a therapist. Could you tell us about that? Yeah. At that point, I had decided later in life to become a therapist. You know, I'd lost my husband years ago. And it was kind of a dream that I wanted to do once my kids were old enough. I wanted to go back to school. And so when the, when the social workers accused me of emotional abuse, they knew that that's what I was pursuing. They knew exactly what I was doing. Because I went in pretty, pretty innocent. And at first going, like, oh, please help me. You know, this is my daughter's, she's, they were not on my side.

And I didn't know that. I didn't completely clueless. And so I felt like they purposely were trying to do anything they could to get that, and they call it a khaki hit on my record so that I could not pursue my career. The second one they gave me, which we'll talk about later, but I mean, the second one that they gave me two counts of emotional abuse. And the second one was because I wouldn't take her to an LGBT. center. I wouldn't drive her over there because she was being really, she was being really,

really rebellious and really bad. And I wasn't feeling like that was really helping her going to that center because even when she was going to the center, I found that she was connecting with other kids and her demeanor was even worse, even more rebellious, even more defiant. So I think I just, I made the call. I'm not going to drive you there. And that's when the social worker wanted to interview me. And because I didn't do that, I got immediately, I got a, second hit for emotional abuse. And it was like, and they kind of like enjoyed it. It was really weird, really sick. You know, they sent me a message basically saying, you know, we're putting another warrant on your, on your record. And I'm like, wow. It's really, really evil, really evil people over there.

When was your daughter first taken away from your family and how long did that last? It was 2016, but I can't remember exactly if it was. a month. It wasn't that long. It was like maybe two months, maybe, month or two months, something like that. Yeah. So I think it was July. I want to say it was like she said that she always says that she has this traumatic thing about fireworks now from that experience because she has a lot of trauma stuff related to that time frame in her life. Makes sense. And what was it like for your daughter to be in foster care when you knew that she shouldn't be in your home? Oh God. For her, it was awful. I mean, she, they put her in the,

worst neighborhood in Van Nuys. It was a Hispanic family. They didn't speak English. And there were like seven other people there. And they were, I don't know how many dogs, five or six dogs. She said it was dirty. It was disgusting. And I, you know, there's nothing I was, there's nothing I could do about it. You know, that was, you know, where they placed her. Did your daughter want to be placed in foster care after leaving your family? After leaving the family? I mean, originally she wanted to be placed. in there. Yeah. And then she couldn't wait to get out of it, get back home. How did the process go of her getting out of foster care and returning to your house? I had hire attorney. I had an attorney,

I had, which was very difficult because there's not that many really good child services attorneys. And, well, CPS had several meetings with me, family meetings, which those were a complete joke. They were never intended to really help the family. It was more just, a fact-finding mission of, you know, what can we get against her? You know, it was, it was awful. It was not about reunification. It was more about, like, you know, how, what can we do to this family destroy them? I know that sounds, you know, really biased, but that's how I felt at the time. But the process of getting her back was, yeah, it was pretty difficult. I had a really, really bad attorney. Originally, I had a really bad attorney. And I mean, my heart goes out to people

that get into the system because it's really hard unless you can afford to have an attorney on your side. And what did the attorney do that ultimately ended in the reunification? Well, we had some meetings in court and then basically they left it up to my daughter. Did you want to come back home? You know, do you want to come back home and lift it up to her? So it was more of, you know, do you feel comfortable going back home? And she chose to come back home? Yeah. And how did things go? once she returned were things different? No, they weren't any better. No, they weren't any better. She kept continuing to be really rebellious, continuing to, she called social workers on me a couple of times about like, well, my mom would

take me to the store and buy me boy clothes. So therefore, you know, she's abusive. And so it didn't really get much better. And she didn't want to go to school. She was defying me on going to school. yeah, she was very, very defiant. There was definitely some mental health crisis going on with her. And the government tried to force you to allow her to irreversibly alter her body, right? What was that like? Well, I'm trying to figure out, like, how to define that exactly. Can you ask me a question a little bit more?

I'm trying to think, like. Yeah, I think I read in the, the, the defense. part in the DCFS document that they tried to get you to allow, I think it was the hormones maybe, or was it the chest binder or something like that? Yeah, the chest binding, they didn't see anything wrong with that. And I looked up the chest binding and I'm like, no, you can actually crack your ribs if you do that. You know, and then you're damaging your breasts. And they were like, well, you know, they were okay with that. There wasn't a real push for me to do surgery per se, but it was more like trying to get her out of my house and put into like a foster care that was LGBTQ.

And she didn't want that. She knew it was going to be a lot worse than being at home. She knew the people that, you know, were in those places. We're usually from broken homes and that sort of thing. Were you concerned about the chest binder or other things like that being something that she would later regret when she would. she got older. Oh, yeah, definitely, definitely. I mean, I was worried about the health risks, and I, you know, I pulled up things online and I showed it to her. And my girlfriend at the time, she's referenced in there, too, did the same thing, you know, showed her that this could damage your

body. And why do you think the child services department isn't concerned about damage to the body? I'm not really sure. At the time, I was like the first. case that they had, you know. I think they were trying to make an example of me, to be honest. And since your daughter returned to your home and you had these struggles, some years have passed, how are things going now for your family? Well, much better now, but it took a number of years for her to come completely out of it. Even when there was a period of time, I didn't add that in there that I did send her to a wilderness camp at one point afterwards. Once I got her home, I did send her to a wilderness camp in Utah. And she still, to this day, thanks me for that because she said that

she needed to be in a place where she didn't have electronics and wasn't focusing on herself. And she even tells me right now, she said that that was kind of a saving grace for me. But, you know, there has been a lot of ups and down since then where she was kind of going back into it, out of it. She was very rebellious for many years. And then finally she's stabilized. And, but I'm trying to remember exactly when she went to, because she was hiding a lot of this from me later on. She was still kind of toying with the idea of, you know, am I, am I not? But yeah, our relationship's really good right now, if that's what you're asking.

That's great. Yeah. And what were your main concerns about your daughter identifying as transgender? I felt like it was just really confusing. I feel like, you know, living that life is very confusing to someone. because, you know, I do have faith and I do believe that we were born a certain way genetically. And so I guess there's that piece of it. And it's just, and because I felt like she was always a girl, there was never any indication that she wasn't anything but a girl.

So it just, it didn't seem healthy to me to go that direction. And what was the process like for her to be able to accept? that she's a girl? Oh, that's a good question. That would be a question for her probably. I think definitely not having a mom that was like, I kept saying, you know, you really, you really need to explore this more because, I mean, look back to your childhood. I mean, there was never any indication of anything different. And what was it like for other members of your family when you were going through this, like your other child and the grandparents? Oh, my other child was not accepting of it at all.

He was, he was not happy about it at all. She brought him into the case against us originally, because they, they were kind of fighting and she accused him of abuse too. So he wasn't very happy with, he thought she was just crazy. He thought she's just out of her mind, you know, and then I, my mom, well, my brother was very supportive. I did have another family member that just said, well, why don't you just let her be a boy? I did have one that a sister that was not happy with it, did not agree with it. But now my mother, like I said, now my mother is like, I'm really glad that you stood your ground. I'm really happy.

She said there was times where I questioned it, but she's, I'm really happy that you did stick with it and did stand your ground in your beliefs. Did your daughter's school therapist and LGBT groups play in the situation? My, it depends. Like originally, I mean, when she was moved back into my house, she wanted to go into public school. She didn't want to go back to the Catholic school. And so they let her identify as whatever she wanted to be identified as. And I didn't even realize that they had changed her name.

So the school did allow her to have, you know, I think they had gender bathrooms, gender neutral bathrooms there. I think they did have a place for her. I know there was, they did give her some, I know they did some things for her, but I can't remember exactly, but I know for sure that they allowed her to be the other name, her male name.

But yeah, that was a really difficult time. Were you surprised that that was allowed at a Catholic school? That wasn't the Catholic school. That was a public school. The Catholic school, she wanted to leave the Catholic school. Catholic school. So she, I'm trying to think now, she did finish up over there. And I do recall, there was a point where she was going to the Catholic school and I had lost my rights. And I had to go to a ceremony there. There was some sort of service that they had, some sort of ceremony. And I had to sit

with someone with me. Is it an Adelitum? Some person had to sit with me. And boy, talk about, feeling like, oh, God, your rights have been taken away from you? You can't even describe how that feels. This is horrible, you know? But the Catholic school didn't really, I don't remember if they let her go by that pronoun or not or let her switch her pronoun. I have to go back and I'd have to ask her. I can't remember. But she's, like I said, she doesn't want to talk about it. Why do you think it's hard to talk about now? Do you think she looks back on it? as kind of a regretful traumatic experience. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. She regrets what she put me through. Sure. She's sorry that she did. But I think it's really hard, too, for that when you're that age, to really remember the details of what happened. You know what I mean? It's easy for us because we're an adult.

But I think, and I even said that to her, I said, look, you know, I think it's really hard for you to remember exactly what that was like because you're still so young. But I recall it vividly. And I told her, I said, it's important. for me to talk to this journalist because I feel like I remember it vividly. I mean, it was devastating and it ruined my life. I mean, I lost my husband, but this was worse than losing my husband. Yeah, because I had my rights taken away. I've never had anything legal happen to me. And also, the police have come after me at one point, because of the physical charges,

I had an interview with a detective too. And it was, but it was amazing once, you know, all of that was reversed. I literally, when I met with this one officer, he looked at me and just was literally like shaking his head going, you know, they know. It's just a really rebellious teenager acting up. Definitely. Yeah. And like you said about your daughter regretting the stage of her life, what do you think about

when parents or the state even allow kids to make decisions about these feelings that maybe they're not born in the right body so young when they can't go back on it, such as getting surgeries or these hormone treatments. Well, I think it's horrible. I mean, I've seen the interviews of, you know, the kids that have had the surgery and have gone forward and had that support and then regretted it. It's just terrible. I mean, I feel really bad for those families, and that's kind of why I'm here.

It's irreversible, like the book, irreversible damage. I mean, their brain's not formed enough to have, be able to make those. decisions or prefrontal cortex not developed until they're in like in their mid-20s. What was it like to know that these transgender medical interventions are irreversible, but also know that people from child services, maybe the foster family, the LGBT groups were accepting of your daughter getting these procedures? How was it to be the one responsible for protecting her in that, but having obstacles? It's incredibly hard, incredibly hard. I don't, I wouldn't wish that on your worst enemy.

me. I wouldn't. Horrible. I mean, even families, too. There was even a family that was a friend of my daughters back then. And when she was living with me, she had another friend that ended up being a trans too. And the mom came over me and she said, you know, I'm a mandated reporter, which means what? What, you're going to turn me in? And this was a mom in California. I said, what are you saying? because I don't believe what you believe that you're going to turn me in for not supporting it. So I had to be really careful. I felt like I had to be really careful around everybody there. One of my reasons for leaving in California, but it's not that I made that big of great of a choice for I moved to.

Speaking of Minnesota, due to a bill signed by Governor Tim Wall's kids in Minnesota can transition largely behind their parents back. What is your advice to other families struggling with the government trying to for them to accept transgender ideology. Wow. I would say get into a support group. And that's what I did immediately. I got into a support group of parents that are going through the same struggles and, you know, and advocate, you know, against these laws because I think they're just

horrific, horrific that a parent does not have the rights to parent their kid or guide them, you know, away from things that could be potentially harming. What types of changes would you like to see to make sure parental rights are protected in a way that yours weren't? The government out of it, you know? Let parents parent and it's just become this whole like political spear that is scary, you know. The small group of people are taking over, you know, the rights of parents, you know, it's just that ideology. I mean. And how is the process of restoring trust?

between yourself and your daughter and your children after the situation? Oh, extremely difficult. You know, extremely difficult. There's still, there's still, there is still work to do there. What role did your faith play in your family during this time? I believe it was huge. You know, it was really important that we had faith, that I had faith. I don't think I probably would, I don't know, I probably, it would be a lot more difficult

if I didn't have faith and also a faith community. had one friend that was very faithful that helped me through it and the whole process and understands the whole process. And she went through a whole similar thing with CPS, but it was just trying to get a kid out of foster care and adopt him. And it was kind of the reverse. But she had her own, this is nothing to do with trans, but she was with me through the whole process. And I don't know that I would have been able to get through it without her. And did your faith impact your daughter during this time? my faith. Not so much. We were always Catholic and there was always, we always believed in faith, but she sort of stepped away from it at that point. What advice would you have to other parents who are

afraid that their children can be taken away from them if they don't accept them identifying as transgender, even though they have concerns about it down the road? That's a really tough question. Like I said earlier, I'd probably definitely get into a support group. There are some therapists that don't support the ideology that just explore it. I would definitely try to see if there's a way that you could get your child, you know, with someone like that that could, you know, help them explore what they're going through. But as far as, you know, legally as far as, you know, the government take it coming in and taking your child away.

It's really difficult to say, like, how do you, I'm perplexed on how you, how you protect someone from that, because, I mean, I was a victim to it. Definitely, yeah, it's shocking that the government can take your child away from you if they don't like the way you're parenting your child. Like you said, it's just complete ignoring of your parental rights. I mean, how can they deem that as, I don't know, I just found it really crazy that they could deem that as emotionally abusive, just trying to, you know, discipline your children. child or, you know, have a better understanding of where they're at or trying to help them through it.

And what role do you think social media played? Oh, God, huge. I think if there wasn't social media, we wouldn't be having this conversation. No. Because I even said to her, I said, you know, 20 years ago, we wouldn't be having this conversation, you know. She's no way. And kids just didn't do the things that they're doing now. Like, they didn't turn their parents in 30 years ago.

the thing with social media and that's that social support there's just so many things that can get into through social media and the internet i mean she was telling me she was on the dark web i mean there's all these things that they can get into and there's a lot of things that actually she's even told me that i can't even believe that so disturbing the content and how did they figure out a way to get access to it so yeah we wouldn't have we wouldn't be having this conversation. Yeah, absolutely not. Would you recommend that parents don't let their kids on social media in order to prevent things like this from happening? Well, I definitely limit for sure. I think it's really hard to completely limit it. I think it just depends on the age, you know. I mean,

I was, I was noticing someone here the other day walking their, I mean, this is not social media, but even just the whole like screens, you know, like this person was walking their baby in a stroller and the baby's got a screen. And I'm like, I'm just getting that dopamine rush. You know, I'm thinking to myself, wow. I mean, we're so programmed to just like, you know, entertain them with, you know, screens or social media. But I would definitely limit the time that they have.

And you really would have to be like almost like a helicopter parent where you really monitor the time. And I was, and I think I wouldn't have given them a phone. You know, if I knew what I knew. But the phones weren't that. I mean, well, 2000. Yeah, they weren't really that advance where you had like, you did have access to internet, but not like we do now. And sometimes we hear stories like this of the government taking children away from parents

because of transgender issues ending differently. What would you attribute to your story ending with the reunification of your family? Oh. I mean, I hate to say it, but if I didn't have any money, I wouldn't be able to do it. I mean, I had to pay, I paid a lawyer. I mean, if I didn't have that second lawyer help me. And I do, I do put a lot of faith in God too, but I'm just saying that I feel sorry for people that don't have the means to be able to fight it. If you don't have the, I mean, fortunately, I had the means to fight it. And I was, and I was just determined to not let this ruin my record or ruin my family. So I, I guess that would be it. I mean, unfortunately, I, I, I, And even being in the system, I looked around and I was like, I was just like an outlier. You know what I mean? Yeah.

And were you able to succeed in becoming a therapist and was your daughter able to have a fairly normal high school college experience? Yeah. She still was pretty rebellious. You know, there were moments where she didn't live with me and she still kind of was, you know, struggling with her mental health and that sort of thing. She did she did struggle with chemical dependency too. but fairly normal, but yeah, I did pursue my career. And fortunately, yeah, I wouldn't be able to do what I'm doing right now if it wasn't for the fact that I was able to fight it. And how's your daughter doing now?

She's doing okay. Like I said, she did struggle with chemical dependency and she still kind of struggles, you know, with mental health issues. But it's getting better. I do see a progression of it getting better. Is there anything else that you would like for other families who are going through this to know from your experience as someone who's gotten through it and been able to keep your family together? Don't give up. You know, don't ever get up. Just keep fighting.

That's what I did. I just kept fighting. I finally got the right person to help me too. You know, you've got to find those resources to help you through it. Now I think it's much better. There are some people speaking out against it. There are some resources right now that I didn't have back. then. Would you be concerned about laws like they have in Minnesota and California where kids can

transition without their parents' involvement potentially spreading throughout the country? Yes. I'm very worried about that. It's very concerning. Parents' role is to guide their children the best they can, you know, in a healthy manner. And giving a 14-year-old those rights, it doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't make sense. It was parent for. I was like, do you think the government has gotten confused about the proper role of parents in the past few years? Definitely. Okay, thank you so much for joining us. No, thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.

Get ready for the political showdown of the year. Tuesday at 7 p.m. Eastern, the Tony Kinnett cast brings you exclusive daily signal coverage of the presidential debate between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris. Our expert team breaks down every argument, fact checks in real time, and gives you the analogous. as you need to stay informed. Don't miss a single moment of this crucial event in the race for the White House. Tune in to the Tony Kennedcast for comprehensive debate coverage starting at 7 p.m. Eastern Tuesday. Thanks so much for joining us today on the Daily Signal podcast. I hope you enjoyed this conversation that Elizabeth Mitchell had. If you want to learn more about this story, you can find the full documentary on the Daily Sittal's YouTube channel. And you can also check out

the written piece on the Daily Siddell's website. That's daily signal.com. Don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss out on new shows from the Daily Signal, whether our morning interview editions or afternoon top news. We'll see you right back here around 5 p.m. or The News of the Day on Top News. The Daily Signal podcast is made possible because of listeners like you. Executive producers are Rob Lewy and Katrina Trinko.

Hosts are Virginia Allen, Brian Gottstein, Tyler O'Neill, and Elizabeth Mitchell. Sound designed by Lauren Evans, Mark Geinney, John Pop, and Joseph von Spakovsky. To learn more or support our work, please visit DailySignal.com.