The Daily Signal - ‘We Took the Life of Our First Daughter’: Redemption After Abortion

Episode Date: August 9, 2024

For years, Jeff and Tricia Bradford kept their abortion a secret from their friends and church community.  “We hid our story, because of the deep shame and regret that we had,” Jeff Bradford says.  The couple was engaged when Tricia, then 20, learned she was pregnant. "Fear didn't waste a second coming into that conversation and shame," she said. "And so, we just immediately thought, ‘What are we going to do?’" The couple reached out to a family member and received some “terrible advice,” the husband says, adding that a few days later, he and his wife “ended up at Planned Parenthood, and we took the life of our first daughter, and we didn't talk about it for 17 years.”  Even being active members in their church, the couple says, they “sat in the pew silent” because no one in their community talked about the issue of life or abortion. But counseling and a connection with two pro-life leaders led the couple down a road that changed their lives. Today, Jeff Bradford serves as president of Human Coalition, a pro-life organization that aims to help women choose life, and the couple have four children. Now, 32 years after aborting their first baby, the Bradfords are sharing their story in their new book, “Beauty from Ashes: A Christian Couple’s Journey From Abortion to Redemption.”  The couple joins “The Daily Signal Podcast” to share their story and encourage churches across the country to be intentional about providing care for women who have had abortions.  Enjoy the show! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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This Black Friday, you've got a whole month to catch all the exclusive offers waiting for you. See your local Nissan dealer or nissan.ca for details. Conditions apply. This is the Daily Single podcast for Friday, August 9th. I'm Virginia Allen. And what better way to end the week than with a conversation that is filled with hope and inspiration. And that's why I'm really excited for this conversation that we have ahead of us this Friday. Jeff and Trisha Bradford were married for over a decade before they really began talking about

and processing an abortion that they had early on in their relationship. Shame kept them silent. but thankfully they didn't stay there. And their journey ultimately led them to write a book called Beauty from Ashes, a Christian couple's journey from abortion to redemption. That book is out and available now. And I'm so excited today to be sitting down with Jeff and Trisha to share their story. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I enjoyed hearing them share their story.

We get it. With big media bias, it's hard to find accurate honest news. That's why we've put together the Morning Bell newsletter, a compilation of the top stories and conservative commentary. To subscribe, just head to DailySignal.com slash morning bell subscription or visit DailySignal.com and click on the connect button at the top of the page. I am so honored today to have with us, husband and wife, Jeff and Trisha Bradford. Thank you both so much for being here. Really appreciate it. We're honored to be here.

Thanks for having us on your show. Thank you. Well, Jeff, you serve as president of a wonderful pro-life organization that we've been really privileged to work with here at the Daily Signal called Human Coalition. And you all also have a book that is a brand new book, telling your story, sharing your story, your journey called Beauty from Ashes. And I'm excited to talk about that book and your story on today's show 15 years ago. did you all ever think that you would be sharing openly about your journey with abortion? No, we didn't. In fact, for nearly 17 years, we hit our story because of the deep shame and regret that we had.

In fact, I'd only told one person my best friend on a hiking trip where we took our sin to the top of Mount Princeton. And that was the sin that was weighing me down that I carried to. the top of that mountain. And that was one of the hardest conversations I'd ever had to tell someone that I had taken the life of our first daughter. Tricia, how old were you when you found out you were pregnant? So I found out I was pregnant during our engagement. And I was 20 at the time. What was the thought process when you found out you were pregnant? Do you remember what was running through your mind. So I am, it was long ago, now 32 years ago.

But looking back, I immediately just went to Jeff to share that news. And we both were, you know, probably a little shocked. But fear didn't, you know, waste a second coming in into that. conversation and shame. And so we just immediately thought, what are we going to do? And why did you decide that abortion was the answer? Well, like many people that find themselves in this situation, we didn't know where to turn or her to go to. And I had grown up with my father. My parents were divorced when I was 10 and had a really strong relationship with my dad. Trish and my dad had gotten close during our dating and our engagement. And so we felt like we needed some advice.

And we went to him. And unfortunately, we got terrible advice, ungodly advice, unwise advice. And after talking to him within a few days, we ended up at Planned Parenthood. And we took the life of our first daughter. And we didn't talk about it for 17 years. And really, Trish and I had not talked about it at all during that time. And it was something that we stuffed deeply. And it wasn't until I really came into this work. I met the two co-founders at Human Coalition. And that was the moment really that God started to open our eyes about abortion and the devastation where we began to talk about it for the first time. Wow. So what was the effect of that? For 17 years not talking about it, you're a married couple, you've been through this really hard thing together, and yet you just

left it buried. How did that affect your marriage? That was tough. As we look back on, you know, life is hard and marriage, you know, can reflect life at times. And when you go through really difficult times, especially when you start your marriage off having taken the life of your child, we look back and we realize that there were bitter roots of regret and despair and that affected our marriage. And so, you know, we we talked about in the book, I mean, we would, I love my dad, but and Tricia did too, but, you know, when we'd go to see them, we'd always fight right before that. And we see little things and patterns in our life that we can connect to that decision. Tricia, how is that experience for you as you began to kind of process and realize like, oh, this is really weighing on me?

Were you always aware over those 17 years that this is hurt and pain that's unresolved? Or was there an aha moment? Well, there was eventually an aha moment. But for years, I stuffed my feelings and just denied what we had done. And so with doing that, even though I thought that it wasn't necessarily affecting our marriage, it was. I wasn't an expert at, you know, I didn't know what the effects were of stuffing my feelings and how it was affecting our marriage.

but it was definitely affecting our marriage and not in a good way. And we realized, you know, there were seasons around the abortion that we would notice that we would start fighting and that Tricia got depressed. And we realized that that was right around the time we made that decision to abort our daughter. And so there were patterns that we didn't realize at the time that were created until we began to get some healing and we began to see more clearly. And you all were in the church during this whole period, correct? Yes.

You know, we had come back to the Lord and after our first son was born, really came to a crossroads in our lives. I mean, me especially where I knew I was either going to go back to the Lord or honestly didn't know what was going to become of my life at that point. And so we ran to the Lord. I mean, we would have considered ourselves Christians growing up, but looking back, it was a cultural Christian, you know. And when we dove into the Lord, we dove in heavy. We took our worldly work ethic and brought it to church.

And I became a lay pastor. We helped build and grow the church. Tricia is an amazing worship leader. And we left home teams. I was on the board. I mean, we were yes people. The pastor asked us, we said yes. And our kids grew up in the church.

And yet, no one talked about the issue of life. So for 17 years, we sat in the pew silent, and we also led from the front silent, feeling like this was the unforgivable sin, because no one talked about it. Our pastor didn't talk about it. And we didn't talk about it. And so there was no healing. And so that was one of the areas that, again, looking back, we realized, and one of the things that we're most passionate about.

So what changed to where you all said, okay, one, hey, we have to talk about this, we need to talk about this, and that point of, for the sake of our marriage, this is something we have to work through. Yeah, well, you, I mean, and you can answer this as well. I mean, there was a pivotal moment, and it's one of those God moments. I had sold my company in 2010 and was doing consulting work. and got to know two guys who happened to be now the co-founders of human coalition, and they hired me as a consultant.

And after getting to know them for a while, they handed me their card and said, we saved babies using the internet from abortion. What they didn't know is my wife and I, Trisha and I, had also come to a pivotal moment in our relationship. We felt like the church ended up splitting during the recession of 2008-9. We had a tsunami of things that hit us that we talk about in the book. And our marriage was on the rocks. We felt like we had given away so much of our time and effort to everyone else that we had neglected our marriage.

So we went into Christian counseling. And when we closed the door that first visit, Tricia began to cry, like I'd never seen her before. And honestly, I thought Virginia, like, either our marriage is in way worse shape than I thought or something's underneath these tears. And as we got underneath those tears, the pain came from a decision we made now 32 years ago. The decision we've already talked about, the decision to abort our child. That same week is the week the guys handed me their card and said,

we save babies from abortion using the Internet. I thought, oh, Lord. So for Trish and I both, that created a conversation that we had to face. And so we began, God just began to open our eyes to the issue of life and abortion. Trisha went to abortion healing. Was it surrender the secret? Yes, surrendering the secret was the name of the study. That became the really the tipping point for us in our lives in marriage. but we also began to see God doing an amazing work, to allow us to go through these trials to begin healing and ultimately to bring me to the work that I now do at Human Coalition.

Jeff, earlier you said that being around the church, growing up in the church, you sort of thought that abortion was this unforgivable sin. I mean, I'd love both of you to answer this. When for each of you did you realize God does forgive me for this? and I can receive his forgiveness. You know, for me, being a praise and worship leader, I had just a lot of time, a lot of intimate time with the Lord and being in his word. And so I knew that because of what Christ did on the cross,

there was no greater sin than the cross. And so I knew that I was saved. but there was still learning the truth about abortion. And so it was through the surrendering the secret post-aborted Bible study that I went through. That was very telling. And we did a deep dive into the dark truth about abortion. And so for me, that's when I learned the truth. the truth about that.

It was, yeah, same for me. I mean, I think we both felt there was a covering over the church those first 17 years. But because no one talked about life and abortion, there was no healing either. And so we never came to grips. We hit it out of shame. We had deep shame. In fact, I mean, when I came to Human Coalition and was introduced to the co-founders, I thought, how could God ever use me?

I mean, my story is not the story that you want. And so honestly, for me, it's been the work that has created healing. And Trish and I coming together and praying and working through surrendering the secret and us talking about it really because it's a hard thing to talk about. And so it's easy to not want to bring it up because it brings up such a shame and regret and pain that we tend to shy away from it. And so all these things that God and His goodness brought even the trials and the counseling and then meeting the two guys at Human Coalition all began to help me process and begin

a journey of healing and reconciliation. And certainly writing this book so many years later has also helped with our healing and taking some things that we never dealt with and talk. about them again so many years later. Jeff, why did you feel like it was important to write the book, to put pen to paper and say, this is where we've come from, and this is the full journey that we've walked through in processing abortion? Well, this is something, a story that I've told many times at events and gala's and

small groups, and it's such a powerful story of God's goodness and grace, of showing up. And I knew that he called me into this work because I didn't want to do it. And I tried to run from it so many times. And yet he kept calling me. And I knew that I knew that he was saying, I want you to do this. And so that began that process in the calling of doing this work. And so it's been one of the greatest things of my life, the opportunity to stand in the gap and be the hands and feet of Christ.

and the small part that I play, the real heroes are those nurses and front-line workers that get to counsel and work with the women every day and be a part of rescuing God's creation and then walking with them for healing and restoration, just like we received. And so that's what really gets us up every day and allows us to be a part of it. So we wanted to share that. We wanted to share very transparently our history, you know, how we sense. and got into an unexpected pregnancy and how God's been working our story over the last 32 years and reconciling our work and our marriage. Yeah.

And I think our hope, you know, when it comes down to it, is there are millions of women out there who have experienced what we've experienced. And so reaching them with the truth of abortion and our experience, I think they'll resonate with and send the message of that there is healing and there is forgiveness. And it's all intricately woven in through faith in Jesus Christ. Virginia, we also hope that it's a message for church and church leaders like we were, that there is a consequence of silence, that the church silence is preventing healing and reconciliation and redemption. other people like us that felt like it was the unforgivable sin.

So if we don't talk about it and begin to bring healing forth, that's on us as Christians. That's on us as church leaders. We must talk about this issue in winsome and graceful ways. So it doesn't feel to the person sitting in the pews who has had an abortion that nobody talks about it. So those pastors, we want to encourage pastors, this is the right thing. to do to bring healing and restoration to your congregation because one in three women sitting in the pews have had an experience with abortion. And so it's rampant in our churches as much it is

in the secular culture as well. Thank you for saying that. I was going to ask you about that, just that element that you all were so deeply affected by a being in church community, but feeling like we can't talk about this and there's such a need for that. I want to encourage everyone who's listening, make sure you get a copy of the book, Beauty from Ashes. But before we let you all go, Jeff, I would love to ask you to share a little bit about human coalition. And for anyone who's listening, who wants to be a part more so of the pro-life movement of furthering life across America, how could they get involved with human coalition? And what would that look like? Well, I am so honored to be a part of human coalition. And one of the things that we share in the book is how God birthed human

Coalition. It's really a miraculous story, and it's an amazing story, how he took a group of business guys and began to solve some systemic problems in the pro-life movement using science and data and technology. As you know, Virginia, because we love heritage. You know, we work directly with women, but we also work on the legislation side of producing good policy and legislation that also moves the needle and helps care for moms and saves babies. So we're honored to do this, You know, humancollecion.org is our website. Certainly would love people to go to that. There's lots of ways to get involved both locally and nationally

through advocacy and through mentoring and volunteering. So there's amazing ways to get involved with Human Coalition. It is a labor of love for us. It's an opportunity. And we have over 260 employees now. So we've grown from three of us in a living room 12 years ago to over 260 employees. So one of the largest pro-life, pro-woman organizations in the country that's really building technology and applications that save lives and able to measure the efficacy of that through all the things that we do at Human Coalition.

That's incredible. And Trisha, for anyone who wants to order the book, Beauty from Ashes, how do they do that? That's a really good question, Virginia. It's beauty from ashes book.com is the website that they can go to. Perfect. Yes. Excellent. Well, thank you both.

I appreciate your willingness to share your story because I do truly believe that it has and will continue to create a lot of freedom for men and women across America who have walked through abortion, who have experienced it really personally to say, all right, if they did it, I can also journey through this pain. So thank you all for your willingness to share your story. Thanks for having us on your show. And with that, that's going to do it for this Friday. Thanks so much for joining us here on the Daily Signal podcast.

Again, if you want to pick up a copy of Jeff and Trisha Bradford's book, you can find it on Amazon. It is called Beauty from Ashes, a Christian couple's journey from abortion to redemption. Don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss out on new shows. from the Daily Signal podcast, and if you would, take a minute to leave us a five-star rating and review. We'll see you right back here at 5 p.m. this afternoon for the Daily Signal's Top News Edition. The Daily Signal podcast is made possible because of listeners like you. Executive producers are Rob Louis and Katrina Trinko. Hosts are Virginia Allen, Brian Gottstein, Tyler O'Neill, Mary Margaret O'Lehand, and Elizabeth Mitchell.

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