The Daily Zeitgeist - 80s Babies Broke AF, Massa (NFL) Says No Protesting 5.23.18

Episode Date: May 23, 2018

In episode 154, Jack and Miles are joined by comedian Ever Mainard to discuss the Rihanna version of Laurel vs. Yanny, how the NFL has 'solved' the kneeling 'problem,' how the taxi god Evgeny Friedman has decided to cooperate with the investigation, more information on Michael Cohen and Trump's cover up attempts for their alleged shady behavior, Tomi Lahren's persecution by water, primary watch with the battle of the Stacey's, a new joke-making algorithm on Twitter taking our jobs, a thirty year old being evicted from his parent's home, and more!  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th 2017 was assassinated. Crooks Everywhere unearthed the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Sunshine that's guaranteed to light up your day. Check out our recent episode with Grammy award-winning rapper Eve on motherhood and the music industry. No, it's a great, amazing, beautiful thing. There's moms in all industries, very high stress industries that have kids all across this world. Why can't it be music as well? Listen to the bright side from Hello Sunshine on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Kay hasn't heard from her sister in seven years. I have a proposal for you. Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do. What was that? That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. Can Kay trust her sister, or is history repeating itself? There's nothing dangerous

about what you're doing. They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm. Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast,

Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday.

Hello, the internet, and welcome to season 32, episode 3 of Saturday Night Zeitgeist. For May 23rd, 2018, my name is Jack O'Brien, aka I'm your Venus, I'm your fire, Jack O'Brien. That is courtesy of Certified Genius with a J on Twitter And I'm thrilled to be joined as always by my co-host Mr. Miles Gray Baby, I compare you to a kiss on a rose, Miles Gray Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels Yeah, yeah Now that your rose is in bloom

A light hits the gloom I wish to pray Had to hit that harmony because people don't respect the harmony. Everyone likes the melody. Shout out to Motion Unar on Twitter for that, you know, seal-inspired AKA. One of my favorite songs.

Now you've done Kiss From A Rose before, just not that version. know, SEAL-inspired AKA. One of my favorite songs. Now, you've done Kiss From a Rose before, just not that version. No, not that version, and I'm really in a SEAL mood, and it just felt right. Just felt right. I'm just saying to the Zeitgang, there's probably like five, six more of those Kiss From a Rose variations. Yeah, you could probably put

Zeitgang. I could probably add a Zeitgeist in there. We are thrilled to be joined in our third seat by the hilarious comedian Ever Maynard. Hi, thank you for having me back. Thanks for being back. We still talk about the Goatman. Oh, man, yeah. One of the great debuts of all time in the history of the Daily Zeitgeist.

You want no myth? The Goatman wasn't real. Cool. What are we talking about? What the fuck? Ever, what is something from your search history that is revealing about who you are? I've been doing a lot of research. And honestly, last night really dug deep into industrial goths, cyber goth rave and dance-offs.

Okay, okay. There's a very large community in Russia and in Mexico. So shout out to my cyber goths out there we guys like getting on mexico and russia we're internationally yeah what's up locally respected i watched a bunch of cyber dance-offs yeah it just looks like people trying to get spiders off of them and then like doing weird karate moves i know those videos that's like where they were gas masks and stuff and they got like a wild baggy pants with the suspenders. And like, I feel like because there's one video that.

Like fake tubes out of there. Like fake dreads and like furry boots. Cyber dreads. Future dreads. Cyber dreads. Less problematic because you're like, what hair are you simulating when you use tubing? Wow. Because there's this one video that everybody knows Where they're all like Dancing under an overpass

Right Right And there's just people In all sorts of different outfits But the main thing Seems to be Extraordinarily To the point of looking like

Skirts Black baggy pants Right And gas masks Here and there They honestly all look like me In high school Just like

Oh was that your vibe? Chubby insecure Goth girl Yeah absolutely You were goth? Wasn't yesterday Yesterday was national gothubby insecure uh goth girl yeah absolutely you were god wasn't yesterday was national goth day or world goth day on twitter i rocked it hard yeah got real moody real fast i woke up and said oh yeah do you have like marilyn manson t-shirts and shit no i was really uh into kitty hello of? No, of the all-girl punk rock rock band.

That sounds much cooler. Screamo. I was really into Kitty and Korn. Oh, fuck yeah. And my friends were into Slipknot, but that was a little too dark. Yeah. Well, it's weird because they look freaky, but they're really nice in interviews. Yeah, that's so weird.

At least what I saw, because I remember back in the day, you saw them like, these guys are fucking demons from Nebraska or wherever the fuck they're from. And then you would like read articles like they're really like they're just masks, but there's guys under there. You know, we're all wearing masks right now. Right. Metaphorically speaking. Yes. Emotionally and spiritually speaking.

Shout out to Ben Stein from the mask. And literally in my case. Not everybody that does cyber goth raves. I feel bad. They're not all chubby, insecure people. I was projecting. I'm sorry. Most of them are pretty fit. The Russian people that I saw, they were dancing on tanks

and I was like, that's it. Every Russian subculture is, especially on the internet, they just take it to that next level. There's this one meme that they do where they just take it to that next level like there's this one meme that they do where they recreate it's like a picture of a guy hanging out a window but they actually recreate it by hanging out a window by one hand right that's how they do it it's just like so much more aggressive and cool than our memes in america fuck my life yeah i'll usually get this

shot also forgot slipknot is from Iowa, not Nebraska. Wow, yeah. Sorry. Don't want to get that Iowa heat. I love Iowa. I love Cedar Rapids. Shout out to Linmar High School. So a lot of these videos that I see of industrial goth people dancing, they are doing it in

public, kind of. Is that part of the deal that you go outside and you're just doing it in the face of all the fucking squares? I think part of the video probably wouldn't look cool if if you do it in a nice living room, right? Right. I did find these, I don't know if it's one girl or two girls, but it seems like everybody at least samples their videos and their mashups, and it's just like she's wearing different outfits.

One of them is neon green. One of them is neon red, and she's just doing the same dance, but it must be the best dance because they're all using it and i'm like i gotta do this right i got and it's usually in public or in front of a white screen like in a studio okay normally in a group i did see one where a goth dude was dancing solo but it was in a tunnel and there were people walking by and all of a sudden another dude rode past on a bicycle and did a little wheelie. Oh, fuck.

And I was like, they brought the heat in this video. It's called production value. Yeah. I was trying to like, whew, reshare that vid. Ever, let's get a year over under. What is something that is overrated? Gosh, I was going to say like cool Nikes or like Adidas brands with like designers. But then I was like, no, I'm just salty.

I don't have a pair. So I can't hate on that. What, like Jeremy Scott Adidas? Or like Raph Simmons or like Comme des Garcons with like Nikes. Off-white Nikes and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I was like, actually, I really like those. And I just don't have that cash flow right now.

Yeah, even if it did, it would be hard. Part of me is like a $900 sneaker feels crazy. As soon as I make that million, I'm just buying it. Oh gosh. If I have that, I'm buying $900 worth of cocaine. Okay. You know what I mean? I don't know if I could do that.

Oh yeah. That's how I know I made it. I got really scared. I got really nervous. No, no, no. It's fine. I can only afford $300 of cocaine at a time now. But that's how, that's where I'm at. I'm not quite where I want to scared. I got really nervous. No, no, no. It's fine. I can only afford $300 of cocaine at a time now. But that's how, that's where I'm at.

I'm not quite where I want to be. Wow. In terms of cocaine consumption. Yeah, exactly. And that's how you know. We all have to have goals. That's how LA works, you know? It's like, how much blow can you afford?

Like, how much blow do you have on you right now? Yeah, exactly. I don't. Oh, so you're not doing well. What? I don't do blow. Oh my God. Did you hear that?

Feel free to take a bagel on the way out. I do cyber goss, you guys. Yeah. Come? I don't do blow. Oh, my God. Did you hear that? Feel free to take a bagel on the way out. I do cyber goths, you guys. Yeah. Come on. I drink ooze. Which shoes specifically do you have your eye on that inspired that hate? There's like a Nike. It came out like two years ago, and I was like, oh, I really like them.

But the off-white ones, yeah. Yeah, and then you look at how much they cost. Yeah. You sell them. Yeah. I've had my eye on this one pair of Off-White Air Max 90s, I think they are. And yeah, I've tracked them as their price went from like $400,

where it was like, ah, if it comes down another couple hundred, maybe I'll think about buying them. To a reasonable price? To now, it's like $1,100. Nah. You know what I could really- It just makes me mad every day. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm trying to get my mom to look out for like Looney Tunes Jordans. Oh, yeah, yeah.. Remember Space Jams? They had their stores and stuff. The multi-color sort of... You wait. Yeah, where are the people at Nike at? Lace us down. Come on. We're brand loyal over here on the day. Me too. Me too.

And Ever. Yes, Ever, Jack and I. Nike, come holler at us, please. Yeah, come on. What's your problem, bro? Yeah, what's your problem, Nike? What's your problem, bro? Yeah, what's your problem, Nike? What's your problem, Nike? I would rock a pair of shoes called the Ever Maynards, just on the name alone. Oh, hell yeah.

Because that's such a cool name. That's so cool, you guys. Ever Maynard. Ever, what is something that is underrated? Probably, do you guys remember Airheads? But remember the watermelon kind that had the black candy seeds? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

What the fuck were those made of? What were the seeds made of? The way you look at me is just going, I don't fucking know. But it was that texture combo. Gave it a little crunch with that little sugary granule sweet. Ooh, yeah. Did it have a flavor? Was it like black liquor?

No, no, no. It was just kind of unoffensive. Just gave it a little crunch to it. Made it look like a watermelon. I remember we used to freak the fuck out when the mystery for the white one. Yes! Yeah, you'd be like, my God. I remember there was like hierarchy of flavors.

Like when, you know, you could buy snacks at my junior high, and like they would have like the little concession or whatever. And yeah, when you got the white airhead, oh boy, might as well have $900 in cocaine money. Yeah. Look, guys, we really need to get Miles $900 worth of cocaine. It's very clear. Let me tell you something else.

Do you remember Raven's Revenge? Are you okay, Miles? Do you remember Raven's Revenge? No, tell me what it was. It was, like, a candy that was in a plastic test tube that was just pure sugar. Wow. It was, like, a basically pixie stick put into a plastic test tube. Wow. It was like a basically pixie stick put into a plastic test tube.

And they had to ban it at my school because they're like, these kids are just eating tubes of sugar and losing their minds. It's called Raven's Revenge. Is that how you got hooked on Coke? No, no. Is that your gateway? $900 of Raven's Revenge. I need $3,000 of Raven's Revenge. No, that was Pixie Sticks.

Yeah, Pixie Sticks. Shout out to DJ Rogers, who in middle school snorted a line of Pixie Sticks. No way. And had to go to the nurse. Oh, he's not a real DJ. His name wasix. Yeah, Pixie Stix. Shout out to DJ Rogers, who in middle school snorted a line of Pixie Stix. No way. And had to go to the nurse. Oh, he's not a real DJ. His name was DJ. Yeah. DJ Rogers.

DJ Rogers. Rogers. Yeah, I remember the Warheads were like the hot shit in my school. And they tasted terrible. But it was just like, yeah, look at what I can do. Didn't they make your mouth bleed? Yeah. Well, that was like what people

said. I put so many sour ones in my mouth that they made my mouth bleed. Oh, shit. Yeah, we are onto your myth. What is a myth? I couldn't really think of a myth. I thought about like eating watermelon seeds and then a watermelon grew in your tummy. That happened to my cousin.

True or false? No, that's false, man. That happened to my cousin's friend. You're lying. Yeah's false, man. That happened to my cousin's friend. You're lying. Yeah, I am. Yeah, you're lying. She was probably lying to me. But I think the Warheads thing, I think that myth is true. I think the acid probably causes blisters.

Let's see. Google it. Warheads mouth blood. Oh, man. Please tell me there's some Google images. 150 Warheads challenge completed. Warning, blood and pain. Oh, Wired even did an article about it.

What's behind the burn of Warheads extreme sour hard candy? Blah, blah, blah. There's citric acid, micro-encapsulated malic acid, corn syrup, artificial flavor. I don't even know what they mean. Okay, so I guess it can make your mouth hurt. Yeah. I don't know why people... Based on this YouTube video,

I'm sure someone will bust this myth, but this guy's mouth looks like a fucking mess from eating 150 warheads. And now, kids just jewel instead of doing any of that shit. And eat the Tide Pods. Oh, it's Furious Pete. The guys. That is funny. The Tide Pods are like this generation's version of that.

It's like they're just like, nah, fuck it. We're just going to eat poison now. Eat poisons. Yeah. Yeah. That rules. All right. Those are good myths.

And I don't know. I tried to think of another myth, you guys. I couldn't really think of a myth. You know, it's hard. Sometimes people try and really like try and take down a real myth. Other times people just introduce new theories that have mythic proportions. And I don't know what else. I'm hard-pressed to ever think of a myth.

Whenever someone comes in, I'm always like, damn, that's good. You guys really put me on the spot with that one. I had the goat. You guys called that Goatman. And I was like, I can't live up to the goat. Can I bring back Goatman? Although there were some people on Twitter who were like,

I think we had a Goatman, too. I know. Oh, I found out about the Florida man recently. Right. My friend Jason told me, and I think it was in an episode of Atlantis. Atlantis. Atlanta. Atlantis.

Atlantis. Where they mentioned the Florida man. Where like everybody in Florida, if there's ever like a problem, they never say where in Florida. It's Florida man. So it's like one person, Florida man does all of this stuff. There's a,

I think a documentary, a short documentary called Florida man. That's pretty wild. Now, is it based on the theory? Because there's two of these. There's like the humorous thing. You guys know everything.

It's like a dude cruising the streets of Florida and like running into people. Who is it cruising the streets of Florida? Yeah, and you're just like, fuck, this is some other shit right here. Do you guys remember how excited people got when that dude ate bath salts and ate that

other dude's face? Oh, face, yeah. And they were like, he's a zombie. And for a second, everyone got really excited that zombies were real. Right. There was that tinge of uneasy excitement, but that was just some dude's son, man. Are you? Definitely not a zombie.

Do you deep down hope for the zombie apocalypse? No. Do you know people who kind of wish that? I know people who deep down I know are kind of praying for society to completely fall apart, and they're like, and that's when my life will be good. Okay, two things. Yes, because there is a dude that drives a Jeep in my neighborhood that says, like, zombie apocalypse. Patrol or some shit.

Okay. And they have, like, a Jeep, and it's got the biohazard thing. For sure they're into goth raves. And it's just like, you're spending, like, thousands of dollars to trick out your Jeep in zombie apocalypse rescue decals. Yeah. Right. And, like, big, tires he's he's just trying to corner the market early because when that shit happens who are you gonna trust the

guy in the chevy s10 who's like come with me or the guy in the jeep that says official zombie safety squad yeah it's branding oh yeah branding there is also i don't know like what this person does it's clearly this person is a schemer. I have a lot of respect for this person. They drive a white Suburban, early 2000s model. And every week there's a new decal on it. It used to be gun training, and then it was dog walking. And now it's in-person dates, like a dating service.

You know how people just do custom decals on their car? Right. Every week, it's a different one. It's a new hustle? It's a new hustle, but it's getting shadier and shadier and shadier. Because now it's clear, like, this dude's a pimp. Wow. In person dates?

In person dating. As opposed to, what? That's such a weird, murky description. He's got like an AR-57 gun decal on the back. This must be bigger than a 15. I don't know what they are, really. It looks like a machine gun. In-person dating.

I need to look that up. I'm going to take a photo of this suburban in my neighborhood and send it to you guys. And every time it changes, please put it up. Because even when you search it, even Google's like, the fuck are you talking about in-person dating? Are you looking for an escort? You mean like dating?

Like everything that comes up is just like how to meet people in Earth. Right. Man, that does bring me back to a time when the news cycle was so slow that we needed to make up like zombie outbreaks. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wasn't there, there was like another story

that broke right after that where people were like, see, it really is happening. The zombies are coming for us. I forget what it was. In Russia, their meth is called Crocodile. Right. It kind of turns you into a zombie because it rots your skin.

It eats your skin. Yeah, right. I remember the early days of Vice on YouTube. When that video came out, it was like, yo, have you seen this shit? We do all the meth in Russia. All right, guys. Let's get into the stories of the day. came out it was like yo have you seen this shit we do all the meth in russia all right guys let's get into the stories of the day and we have to open up with some hard-hitting shit because there is a new laurel v yanni and a couple actually that we want to play for you guys so first off

we are going to play some rihanna for you so we're going to play just a little segment of one of her songs. So that part right there, I think I always assumed was... Because I'm a paper chaser. A paper chaser. Because I'm a paper chaser. And people pointed out that if you now think about the phrase, because I'm a big fucking slut, you get a different version.

So think about that phrase as you listen to it. Yeah. Can you do that one more time, Nick? Wow, that's in there too, I guess, if you really want to listen to it. I heard queso. Because I'm a big fuck queso? No, I want some queso. Oh.

Because I want some queso. Because I want some queso. Wait, can you play that back? Let me hear that one. Something like that. Because I'm a fin for queso. I'm a fin for queso. I'm a fin for queso. Very malleable, that one.

I heard slit. Yeah, you guys. Yeah, yeah, totally, totally. I'm normal. So then there's also this piano thing that you were playing for me this morning, Miles. Yeah, so someone on Twitter, I think, hit us up. They're like, yo, check this new one out. So on the same article from that website, I think it's I Fucking Love Science.

Underneath it, they had this version of a Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees. But it's like they basically had this computer program interpret the song through MIDI piano. So basically, this version of Stayin' Alive is only piano notes. But when you listen, you swear could like hear the actual vocals of the song it's a little trippy listen to this I got down on my step. Cut that out. Yeah, so I know it sounds like a fucking nightmare hellscape. It does.

It sounds like the Bee Gees are being drowned by piano music. Yeah. Like their voices are are trying to sing through piano keys. Or it would be like a trippy video where there's an 8-bit C and they fell into it and were drowning in a bit-crushed world. And that's a very deep

technical jargon, but yes. But it's weird. You can kind of hear the lyrics in there. It's odd. Unless there's only piano notes. So there's your auditory illusion for the day because we said this show is now all about auditory illusions. Yeah. These two remind me of like conspiracy theories because they're like so obviously there

you can actually hear it. Like you're finding stuff hidden in the fabric of a thing that you've heard before. But like once your mind starts to like put the shape of things on it, it's impossible not to hear. So with the JFK conspiracy theory, if you talk to a conspiracy theorist, they're like, look, man, right there in the grassy knoll, you can see it. And if you look hard enough, you can kind of see a guy there.

What about the lady with the camera? You can't see her face. Oh, shit. See, don't get Quincy Jones in here. There's so many theories on the JFK thing. I think it's because it is the most analyzed 12 seconds of film and just of reality in the history of the world. So you're going to, just in the same way that if you listen to a song enough, you're going to be able to hear new things in it. If you look at this scenario enough times, you're going to be able to come up with different versions that are equally there that your mind like will tell you for certain like that is happening right there but you know it's actually our minds looking to put patterns and meaning in

things that weren't actually intended or weren't actually there and don't we do that anyways yes you know in our daily lives and our daily waking lives what do they mean by that exactly what did they not mean by that also why would you open up this jfK box of worms and not allow us to talk about it? Okay, dude. Uncool. Yeah. No, I'd just like to put it out there and then, you know, yank it back. The mob. I think it was the mob and the CIA.

Together. Why not? Together. I think JFK was going to some more progressive ideas and CIA had other plans. Hey, we don't have time for this. Hey, don't ask me about it, but it could have been John Connor. I don't know. But at the same time, as Scarface once said, my mind's have time for this. Hey, don't ask me about it, but it could have been John Connor. I don't know. But at the same time, as Scarface once said, my mind's playing tricks on me.

Okay, thank you. All right, I guess we're going to move on. All right, we're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back. I'm not happy. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16, 2017, was murdered. There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate.

My name is Manuel Delia. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. And she paid the ultimate price. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. podcast from Hello Sunshine that is guaranteed to light up your day. Every weekday, we bring you conversations with the culture makers who inspire us. Like our recent episode with Grammy award winning rapper Eve on her new memoir and the moments that made her. It became a theme in my

life, the underdog syndrome of being questioned of the, would they say this to a man? No, they would not. Like why? That was one of those moments where you're just like, oh they say this to a man? No, they would not. Like, why? That was one of those moments where you're just like, oh, wow. It was a bit shocking, but it didn't take any steam away or anything like that. If anything, it was more of the, okay, I'll show you. No worries. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. One session, 24 hours. BPM 110, 120.

She's terrified. Should we wake her up? Absolutely not. What was that? You didn't figure it out? I think I need to hear you say it. That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. This machine is approved and everything?

You're allowed to be doing this? We passed the review board a year ago. We're not hurting people. There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm. Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, everyone. It's me, Katie Couric. Have you heard about my newsletter called Body and Soul? It has everything you need to know about your physical and mental health. Personally, I'm overwhelmed by the wellness industry. I mean, there's so much information out there about lifting weights, pelvic floors, cold plunges, anti-aging. So I launched Body and Soul to share doctor-approved insights about all of that and more. We're tackling everything. Serums to use through menopause, exercises that improve your brain health, and how to naturally lower your blood pressure and cholesterol.

Oh, and if you're as sore as I am from pickleball, we'll help you with that too. Most importantly, it's information you can trust. Thank you. And we're back. And we were just talking conspiracy theories. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know why I brought up JFK and assumed that we could just, like, touch on it. Graze over it? Well, people listen to this show enough. They've heard the theory. This is well-tread territory.

They've heard the truth about it. Oh, okay. But, Aver, you were talking about how the Beatles were kind of the first on this sort of hiding messages in their songs idea with the Paul is dead thing. Paul is dead. If you play it backwards. We were talking about Rihanna, how she put that high up thing in that song. Who knows if she did layered, yeah. Right.

Has she said definitively? I mean, she is like the most sex positive performer out there. Yeah, one of them. What if she did that in one of her songs? Live your life. All right, guys. The NFL has solved their problem with kneeling players. Oh, they're going to let them kneel?

Yeah, they're going to let them kneel in the locker room. So we have this statement from NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. He said, this season, all league and team personnel shall stand and show respect for the flag and the anthem. Shall. Go fuck yourself, Roger Goodell. Personnel who choose not to stand for the anthem may stay in the locker room until after the anthem has been performed. We believe today's decision will keep our focus on the game

and the extraordinary athletes who play it and on our fans who enjoy it. And that ruling was approved by all 32 owners. So not really helping the whole the NFL has a creepy slavery overtone thing in that he's saying keep your focus on the extraordinary athletes in a statement that completely robs those athletes of any sort of personhood and ability to express themselves as free citizens. They can, Jack.

Just don't do it in public. Right. Just do it back in the locker room where there are no cameras. You know, some of the greatest protests have occurred in the home. Right. Out of the view of the public. Right. That's where you protest.

That's where we really change the side. I'm just saying, why can't Martin Luther King Jr. just do that in his living room? Why couldn't he have had that dream in his bed? Thank you. Instead of out there in front of everyone. I don't care what y'all do in your own bedrooms. Just keep it away from us. Don't have your dreams out here in front of me like that.

Yeah, this is so stupid. I mean, God. Like off the field. Like what? They'll just find them if they kneel now? So that's the plan. They are going to fine the franchise, and then the franchise can pass down fines on the players and personnel, which- Are there any numbers on what that looks like?

No, they don't know. Because they're paying for chases. Yeah, exactly. I mean, yo, just bring on the fines. You know what I mean Yo just bring on the fines You know what I mean Yeah Like you're not gonna take Their ability to actually

Protest like that By saying Oh well You know Fuck it Come on man Pay the fine I'm sure there'll be

Plenty of people Who put a fund together The fine fund And uh Just I don't know Shit now we can bet Yeah Legally

Right exactly I don't want my Fucking bets messed up man It is crazy though Where's Dak Shepard going Or Dallas Cowboys quarterback Legally. Right, exactly. I don't want my fucking bets messed up, man. It is crazy, though. Where's Dax Shepard going, Dallas Cowboys quarterback? Dax Shepard? What is his name? Des Bryant?

Des Bryant. He is really the Dax Shepard of the NFL. He's still with Kristen Bell? Keep the Washington Redskins name and mascot. Right. Yeah, but we have to focus on real problems here. We have to focus on real problems. That ain't a problem?

The players kneeling. They're kneeling and they're reminding God. I mean, when they're kneeling, what are they trying to say? That there's this rampant police brutality in this country or something? They better be praying. Yeah. Right. I hope that's a prayer, man.

I hope that's a prayer. Yeah, but anyways, people are dying. Yeah, so I guess- Do it in your but anyways, people are dying. Yeah, so I guess- Do it in your living room if people are dying. Yeah, people were forced to escape, not to be reminded of the injustices in the world. But it's interesting what the other, there was a few ideas that they had.

First, when they were all kind of brainstorming, how do we punish people who are trying to have any kind of stance on something? So first it was like, how about we let the teams decide? Because some of you guys might be in liberal places and that might not upset. Like a state's rights. Yeah, state's rights, exactly.

Then they said, what if we just clear the whole field while the anthem is being played? So there's no reason to get upset. There's just nobody. Just play the anthem, then the players come out. And they're saying, fuck that. The Pentagon didn't spend all that money just for them to hide. Then they instruct the players who don't want to stand to remain in the locker room while the anthem is played,

which is kind of, I think, what we're probably at now. What they ended up going with. Yeah, or the other one was if they impose penalties on teams and players who do not stand, including a 15-yard penalty. Gotcha. So that would be interesting. You just start off and they're like, you wouldn't throw the flag during the anthem? Right. Somebody blows a whistle.

Okay, hold on. I'm sorry, band. 15-yard penalty. Throw the flag on not respecting the flag. Yeah. And what would you, that would be kind of funny. That's the only one that seems like it could potentially have worked because then you're hurting.

It affects the game, yeah. That's the only one that seems like it could potentially have worked because then you're hurting. It affects the game, yeah. Yeah, it affects the game and it affects them as competitors rather than them as humans. And also as people who don't give a shit if they get fined. They're willing to put their pocketbook on the line. It would just look so absurd to hear Ed Hockley get on the mic and then say like describe what the penalty was for kneeling right is Ed Hockley is he's a little rough I think he retired oh I thought you're talking about hockey no Ed Hockley was like the most ripped old man referee in the NFL oh that dude that buff dude so big you're like oh Jesus my man how thick is your neck right anyway so I

guess uh we'll see what happens I mean I have a feeling people will still be kneeling, but. It's crazy because it really puts the onus on the teams themselves to sort of adjudicate people kneeling. And all the owners were like, yeah, let's do that. Well, maybe then they're just saying like, fine. That way, if their players want to kneel, they'll be like, all right, we'll just pay for the fine. We'll just pay the fine. Right. But I don't know how many teams are going to do that.

But I don't know how that solves their problem either. But that's like a drop in a bucket with how much these teams make. I mean, come on. Well, who knows what those fines are? I'm sure they'd probably make it to a point if they're really trying to control this behavior. But at the end of the day, fuck that, bro. Just do whatever the fuck you're going to do. You're a human being.

You're out here putting your fucking body on the line for these teams, for these owners, while your brain, you know what I mean? Let's go back to paying attention to them doing harm to each other instead of focusing on stuff like them. Yeah, let's watch half seizures go down. Alright, we're gonna get into

a quick three-minute Trump corruption rundown. This one's a real bummer today, you guys. I know, I know. Thank God today was yesterday. I'm feeling pretty sad today. So the taxi god, this is somebody we've talked about before.

He was a business partner of Michael Cohen in New York City. He is now cooperating with investigators. Uh-oh. That's not good for Michael Cohen. Because what, he was stiffing the MTA on like $5 million worth of fees he should have been paying the MTA. So they're like, oh my God, that's a little felony there.

You want to work something out? And he was like, I will cooperate with state and federal investigations. So although Cohen has been like, yeah, I don't really know him like that though. Right. I was like, yeah, you do. Typical Trump playbook. You know what I mean? Just like, oh, him, I don't know. I don that, though. Right. The guy's like, yeah, you do. Who? Never heard of him. Typical Trump playbook. You know what I mean? Just like, oh, him?

I don't know. I don't know her. Right. Okay, Mariah. I mean, her acquaintances. Yeah. Then also, Cohen isn't in the news because the BBC reports that he took $400,000 to set up a meeting between Donald Trump and Ukraine, President Poroshenko.

Now, I mean, basically the story goes that Poroshenko and his team, they were trying to meet using the traditional means to get with the president. They couldn't do it. Yeah. Or, you know, just, I mean, basically the story goes that Poroshenko and his team, they were trying to meet using the traditional means to get the president. They couldn't do it. Yeah. Or, you know, just, I don't know, writing a letter, a fan letter. Right. Or donating massive amounts of money. Anyway, so what they did was they got in touch with Michael Cohen and he was like, yo, 400K, I'll get you in the room.

And sure enough, they did meet. But also Michael Cohen, again, isn't registered as a lobbyist or foreign agent or anything so yeah that seems like a technicality that i don't give a shit about that he's not registered as a lobbyist but it would be but it's it's a normally you do that so you know who these people are who are like saying hi i'm being paid by this government to get this thing done right you know and so that's you need that transparency and it's just that's where we're at now because the Overton window is completely gone. We don't know where we are. What's sketchy and what isn't?

It seems like of all the shit that's on the table, you're like, yeah, there's no meat on that bone. Y'all want to know something? Look up a myth. Look up Baba Vanga. Baba Vanga. Baba Vanga. This is like a prophet. How do we spell that?

B-A-B-A-V-A-N-G-A. Baba Vanga, man. She predicted all this shit she's a blind prophet that saw the future and then was like all this stuff that's happening with trump no joke no joke baba vanga man the chilling predictions of baba vanga they're coming true baby here we go buckle up it's about to get crazy she's's the modern Nosferatu. She's from Bulgaria. I mean, Nostradamus. Nosferatu. Whatever, dude.

I don't care. But it's fucking wild. Oh, my God. She is a old world style, grandmotherly looking woman with just no eyes. Yeah, she's blinded by creating. By the light. Pebbles.

But anyway, we're going to have to do a deep dive into bring me back for that baba vanga episode i'll tell you something baba vanga didn't predict that single uh no that may be this whole elliot broidy other scandal oh yeah that apparently michael cohen health facilitated might not have actually been elliot broidy and may have been donald trump right so elliot broidy was the third client of Michael Cohen that was revealed in court that one time when it was like Trump, Broidy, and Sean Hannity. He was the second guy nobody cared about. He's the guy who was paying off a Playboy model who he had impregnated and then paid

for her abortion. He is a high- level RNC fundraiser. And it seems like there's all sorts of evidence pointing to the fact that this was actually something that he did to help Trump cover up the fact that he impregnated a Playboy model and paid for her abortion. Right. Because Michael Avenatti, when that story came out, he got messy. He went to Morning Joe and he said, and we might find out if whether or not, in fact, it was Elliot Broidy who was the person in this agreement, which he was saying might be Donald Trump. Now, someone at New York Magazine kind of fleshed out this theory fully, sort of saying that basically when you look at the same NDAs, they're nearly identical. Like it has the same pseudonyms of David Dennison and Peggy, whatever the weird fake names were.

Exact same. And it just it was done through a central consultant's LLC. Like so everything just seemed like, oh, yeah, I already have a nice shut the fuck up doc already filled out. So I'm going to switch a few names. And so the reason why. But they didn't switch the name David. No, they didn't. Which is Trump's code name.

Yeah. But again, but the money seems that Elliot Broidy provided this $1.6 million. Now, this theory, which has not been proven, so this, again, this is theory, it's a wild speculation, is that basically, you know, if we look at the Stormy Daniels thing, Michael Cohen said, I don't have the money. I actually had to pull equity out of my home to pay the Stormy Daniels fee. Well, then he damn sure didn't have $1.6 million. So the theory is that he reached out to Elliot Broidy, who's a very rich man

who was already doing a bunch of shady business deals that basically hinged on whether or not the U S would play ball. And if he could get the U S play ball, like he would make a lot of money. So they're like, look, fam, step up, take this L and act like this was your affair. You can give us the money to, to actually pay off the settlement, and then we'll let you rock and just try and scam foreign governments. So that is kind of where we're at. But then if you look today, it turns out that he basically closed – secured nearly a billion dollars in contracts from Saudi Arabia. For his company. Yeah, in the United Arab Emirates to push anti-Qatar policies with Trump. And it's all the same players as that meeting that happened at Trump Tower that we were talking about where Trump was like, there's a long, boring New York Times article.

You guys don't have to read it. Right. But where Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Prince were meeting with this guy, George Nader, who was a contact. That's who Broidy was doing business with. It's just like all these same incestual business contacts. Well, yeah. And if you remember that orb picture from the beginning, that was sort of the beginnings of them pushing this sort of anti-Katar thing. And so, look, if you also look, your boy Elliot Broidy and George Nader, they are scumbags who like to bribe people. So back in 2009, Broidy pled guilty to felony charge of rewarding official misconduct, bribing, to win a New York State pension fund investment deal.

And also Nader was convicted of 10 counts of sexually abusing minors in 2003 and spent a year in jail in the Czech Republic for it. So these are the kinds of dudes who are doing the business around Trump. Elliot Broidy has specifically helped a politician, like done a quid pro quo with a politician where he paid his own money to a politician's mistress. So he has a history of doing payments of this style. And $1.6 million is a drop in the bucket if you're getting, what, a billion dollars in contracts? Yeah.

And just going back to why it's a problem for Cohen to be doing lobbying but not being registered as a lobbyist is you can do shady shit like this, where if you have somebody who you pay money to to get you access to the president, but he's not on the books as a lobbyist, there's a lot of just money going back and forth where people are paying for access, people are paying for deals to go through, and it's just straight up old-timey corruption where people bring in briefcases of cash and get big deals for their country. And that was a tight three minutes.

Three minutes. Also known as eight. Yeah. Also, let's not throw water at Tommy Lauren, guys. Is she in LA? I think she is. They said she moved to LA. I have not seen her.

I know she's out in Los Angeles all the time for various things. Surprisingly, more than you might expect, but the water throwing incident looks like it actually happened in Minneapolis. All right, Minneapolis. Yeah. Tight. Tight, Minneapolis, but maybe don't play into their playbook so much. Yeah. Tight. Tight Minneapolis, but maybe don't play into their playbook so much. Yeah. But somebody, she was leaving brunch the other day, and somebody threw a glass of water in her general direction, which not that she doesn't deserve it.

She totally does. Was it at Edendale? I don't even know. But just a huge part of their whole kind of ideology and plan is to try and pretend like white males and females are being culturally persecuted. So to actually throw water at them is such a great thing for them to the point that Trump actually used that in a speech and was like, we're all with you, Tommy. Tommy's having water thrown at her and being persecuted out in Los Angeles. No, you're being persecuted because you're hateful. Right.

But, you know, let's not play their game. I never throw water at nobody. Miles, there were primaries yesterday. Yes, there were. And let me tell you, it was the DCCC basically got his ass kicked. A lot of their picks, who were their establishment picks, they took big L's. See you later. Like in Big L, rest in peace, the rapper.

In Texas, all three of their picks lost pretty much in their prime it's like their people didn't get through and also in Kentucky Amy McGrath who's a retired

Marine Corps pilot who served in Iraq and Afghanistan won big in the Lexington area I saw those videos I was like this chick looks tight

yo and that's what everyone was saying they're like yo this is dope and she's like because she kind of like the deep room she's like, no, they want a Jim Gray, not the despicable sports commentator guy. He's the mayor of Lexington.

They wanted him to run because they felt like, yo, this guy's a shoo-in. He's a layup dude that everybody knows him and they trust him. Like he definitely won the Lexington area, but Amy McGrath employed a bit of a different strategy. She was like, you know what? Even to win this district, we got to talk to rural folks. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to focus in the rural areas and win them back. And that's my path to victory.

I don't need to worry about the cities. My ideals and just who I am will be enough. And sure enough, she invested heavily being out there. She presented. Did she bring her jet? No, she didn't even have to. I mean, she just probably threw on the aviators with the fucking jacket and was like, guess who I am. Yeah, it's fucking McGrath in the building.

Fuck with me. She mailed out like a 32-page economic plan in these areas that leaned hard on like rural development. Like, you know, turning tobacco into biofuel and like increasing broadband access and things like that. Because it was like, yo, we can win these people. We just have to talk to them in ways that connect directly to them. You can't just be like, oh, Russian collusion. That shit doesn't connect these people. We just have to talk to them in ways that connect directly to them. You can't just be like, oh, Russian collusion. That shit doesn't connect with people. So sure enough, you look at the numbers.

She won by eight points. And now she'll be on her way in November. Right. But also the other big one was the Battle of the Stacys in Georgia, where Stacey Evans was going off against Stacey Abrams to get the gubernatorial nomination for Georgia. And Stacey Abrams, who is a woman of color, she is, I think, the first black woman nominated by a major party to be a governor. So if she wins, that'll be even more history. And again, this is another sort of tale of sort of how the Democratic Party establishment was looking at this race. They really liked Stacey Evans because she was trying to court some like Trump voting white voters.

She's centrist. Yeah, she's more of a centrist. And with Stacey Abrams, she's like, no, fuck that. I'm going to go to people of color, women, first time voters, marginalized people, try and get them energized, turn these people out so I can get those votes. And sure enough, she won pretty handily. And this, yeah, I mean, not to say that she is not going to have a tough fight, but when you look sort of at the numbers, the enthusiasm for the Democrats in all of these races was pretty high. Yeah.

Despite the polls tightening. So we were talking about how that's not really the best way to look at this wave. Yeah. The RNC is celebrating that these more progressive candidates are winning because they think it's going to be easier to beat these more progressive candidates because historically more centrist Democrats have done better than more progressive Democrats. producer Nick Stumpf kind of made this point in our notes that this could almost be seen as a repeat on the Democratic side of what happened with Trump, where, you know, when Trump won the nomination, everyone on the Democratic side was like, nice, we're gonna fucking smoke this idiot. He's just like, you know, we don't have to describe we already know why we thought he was right. Right. He's not a But he's not a traditional candidate. So I think this could just be the Democrats going populist and getting behind more the people as opposed to the DCCC, who, as we've talked about before, the way they evaluate a candidate, they look in their phone and see how much fundraising money they have like in their rolodex yeah and it's funny now the d triple c now is like after mcgrath won they're like she was a hard battle tested can't like they're changing

their tune they've they've done that a few times for them because yeah they should i mean like this is such a huge year for women running for office and it shows you that, I mean, yo, it's time. It's time. It's time. It's time. It's time, and they are the captain now. Nice. Yeah, like that. All right, we're going to take a quick break.

We'll be right back. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16, 2017, was murdered. There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate. My name is Manuel Delia. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman Wikileaks. Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.

And she paid the ultimate price. Listen to Crooks everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, fam. I'm Simone Boyce. I'm Danielle Robay. And we're the hosts of The Bright Side,

the daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that is guaranteed to light up your day. Every weekday, we bring you conversations with the culture makers who inspire us. Like a recent episode with Latin Grammy winner, podcast host, and TV personality Chiquis about making a name for herself as the eldest daughter of beloved singer Jenny Rivera. I'm not afraid. And I think that that's why I've been able to kind of do my own thing and not necessarily stay in my mom's shadow because I'm not afraid of stepping out of my

comfort zone and shaking things up a little bit because that's the only way I feel that you're going to make history. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been thinking about you. I want you back in my life. It's too late for that. I have a proposal for you. Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do.

One session. 24 hours. BPM 110. 120. She's terrified. Should we wake her up? Absolutely not. What was that?

You didn't figure it out? I think I need to hear you say it. That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. This machine is approved and everything? You're allowed to be doing this? We passed the review board a year ago. We're not hurting people. There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing.

They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm. Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hello, everyone. I am Lacey Lamar. And I'm Amber Ruffin, a am Lacey Lamar. And I'm Amber Ruffin, a better Lacey Lamar. Boo. Okay, everybody, we have exciting news to share. We're back with season two of the Amber and Lacey, Lacey and Amber show on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network. You thought you had fun last season?

Well, you were right. And you should tune in today for new fun segments like Sister Court and listening to Lacey's steamy DMs. We've got new and exciting guests like Michael Beach. That's my husband. Daphne Spring, Daniel Thrasher, Peppermint, Morgan J. and more. You got to watch us. No, you mean you have to listen to us. I mean, you can still watch us, but you got to listen. Like if you're watching us us, you have to tell us. Like, if you're out the window, you have to say, hey, I'm watching you outside of the window. Just, you know what? Listen to the Amber and Lacey, Lacey and Amber show on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back and miles we might be out of a job pretty soon yeah i mean not only are we second-rate podcasters we're actually third-rate comedians uh and now there is a robot that is going to be taking the jobs of third-rate comedians like ourselves uh there is a twitter

account called headliner tron which is a twitter bot that's created by a comedian named cj hernandez and basically they fed uh over 30 000 words of stand-up comedy transcripts taken from shows by people like dave chapelle sarah silverman mulaney and they're basically using like a predictive text generator to create jokes based on these things. And it's weird. Some of the jokes are so weird. They're kind of funny. Right.

It's like alt comedy. Yeah, it's weird. It's weird. I mean, sometimes they make no sense, but you'll just laugh because. And yeah, AV Club. Actually, they always make no sense. Yeah, that's true. AV Club pulled some of the funny ones here.

So this is another one. I hate going to dinner with my girlfriend. She doesn't even alcohol at all. That's completely out of respect for the unborn. It's crazy. She just got tattoo of her uterine lining too. Okay. That is crazy.

This is this one. She sounds like a pretty hot feminist. They say two people are never the same person. That's in the Bible. Oh, okay. Then let's see some hotter material. They say two people are never the same person. That's in the Bible. Oh, okay. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Then let's see some hotter material. Time of my life was when my dad gave me the sex talk.

Oh, yeah. 72 hours later, I was getting boners just like this. So presumably the performer has a boner and is getting boners just like this. Another one. You ever woke up and came on your ass? Uh-huh. I guess so. I don't know, Headliner Tron.

No, see, that's how comedy works. You say something that everyone can identify with. Or it's just so absurd and offensive or blue that you're just like, ha, ha, ha. Yes. I don't know. That doesn't make sense. But he's like, came on your ass. That is actually something that the funniest guy in fifth grade would have said that would have cracked me. Oh, yeah. You know? Like, ah, you know this guy all right here's my warheads exactly give me that raven's revenge uh

and also this is another one you know this is what i really like when i got married for 32 years instead of making love to me she didn't I like that one That's so good Yeah so Shout out to Headliner Tron Just algorithmic Job construction Dude

You're a comedy writer Right? Yeah What do you think of that? That's You're in trouble God If it's not hard enough

In this industry Give them the Twitter bot and assistant gig Yeah I guess so man I guess I just I'm like You know what I might just do?

I might just Get one of those And then copy and paste and be like, yeah, I wrote it. Yeah. Yeah, I wrote it. Yeah. Dude, I was listening to this thing on NPR about, this reminds me of Google's new personal assistant. Yeah. And the vocal recognition.

Yeah, yeah. It's just so, it sounds just like a human now. They say, um. They say, um. And it's like, yeah, I'll take it around 1230. Do you have anything? Okay. And it's just like a human now. They say, um. They say, um, and it's like, yeah, I'll take it around 1230. Do you have anything? Okay. And it's just like they have to put disclaimers now.

Like, hey, this is. Yeah, ahead of it to be like, just so you know, you about to talk to a fucking robot. It's going to sound kind of like a human. But it's going to trip you out. Don't be weird about it, you guys. Right. Doesn't that totally ruin the point of it being like.

Well, I think they need to because that's where we get into a weird area right where like when we don't know if we're interacting with human beings anymore that's kind of you know it's passing the touring test you know an illusion yeah but i would use it if it made people think that i had a personal assistant who could like do my haircut appointments for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd feel so cool in LA. Yeah, you'd feel cool. Right.

But then I guess it's just sort of like, what's the end road look like? You know what I mean? Because this is the kind of thing where everyone goes, wow, that's so cool. And then cut to like, you know, like in China, cops already wearing glasses that have facial recognition. Right. To be like, oh, this man's a fucking criminal. You know what I mean? Yeah.

My Google assistant starts dating my wife. Yeah, exactly. It's like, oh, shit. They're like, isn man's a fucking criminal you know what i mean yeah my google assistant starts dating my wife yeah exactly it's like oh shit they're like isn't jack a total cuck colon close parentheses colon close parentheses but this is the first time they they're saying that it's so good at passing the Turing test that they have to do the disclaimer. But just in this context, yeah, of just the phone call conversation. Creating appointments.

Yeah, if it's anything outside of that, it would probably fall apart and be like, okay, your name is, and where'd you go to high school? And they'd be like, ha ha, 12 p.m., what? Right. And then she didn't. You're like, I like this person. 12 p.m. What? Right. And then she didn't. Yeah. You're like, I like this person.

All right. We want to talk about one of the new patron saints of this podcast, a gentleman by the name of Michael Rotondo. Yes. He is a 30-year-old New Yorker being evicted by his parents cold-hearted parents yeah so he's 30 uh his parents want him out of the house i mean it's the headline that makes this thing so absurd new york parents win legal battle to evict son 30 yeah like damn it got bad if they're like honestly michael we're gonna have to just call we going to have to go to court if you don't leave. Prove it.

Yeah. Prove it. And guess what? He did because he was his own motherfucking attorney. He represented himself in court. And the judge was like, I think, just patronized him the whole time. It was probably in disbelief of what was in front of her. There's just such great video.

But did they make him sign a renter's contract? Did he have a lease? Exactly. If he doesn't have a lease, can you evict him? Right. Not in California. Yeah, right? California.

Ask my mom. That's my legal loophole. Squatter's rights, baby. You can just walk into someone's house and be like, I live here now. And that'll work in California. What? Yeah, this dude is- I'm sorry, can live here now. And that'll work in California. What? Yeah, this dude is- I'm sorry, can you say that again?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. California is very, very nice to squatters. Yeah. Okay. Very hard to evict people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For real? Yes.

I'm trying to buy a house, but if I could just squat in one and own it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, guys. Start off with frogging. Because I saw some on Zillow that are definitely being foreclosed. They need some renovations. I'm like, oh, I see. Like, you can't even see on the inside.

And I could just live in it. Just live in there. But outside, you think you live in it? I've been living here. Just get a tetanus shot first. But how do I legally... Come on, guys. I'm so excited about this. I don't know. I've got to get my Google personal assistant on this. If we have any licensed

lawyers who specialize in squatters' rights, please contact us. I'm going to give you the number of this guy I know named Michael Rotondo. Yeah, please. That's all about it. I need an attorney. First of all, this dude, when you look at a picture of him, looks like Mandy Patinkin. Mixed with Martin Starr.

Yeah. It's Martin Starr playing Mandy Patinkin. Which one is Mandy Patinkin? He looks like he's lived a- From The Princess Bride? He was also in Homeland. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He He looks like he's lived a... From The Princess Bride? He was also in Homeland. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He just looks like he's lived a hard life.

Yeah, it's crazy when you look 30 and you look like you were one of Rasputin's homies. Right. I guess when your parents have coddled you your whole life, I guess that does age you quicker. Seems weird. Get off my back about that. Right.

Yeah, you can only imagine if he's actually representing himself in court, like how he was trying to justify him like, oh, your honor, may I ask, isn't it the responsibility of a parent to nurture and to house and protect their children despite

their age? Does that relationship still not last? And therefore the foregoing such as such as and henceforth i shall by here demand that i stay in my room my honor uh an actual quote from the proceedings i don't see why they can't just you know wait a little bit for me to leave the house mr rotondo argued as his parents looked on sitting with their lawyer. Again, just you have to be either an actual psychopath or just the most sheltered person in the world to represent yourself in a court of law. Like that's just that never works out that well.

Is he having? Well, it's none of my business. What? Could you imagine dating this man? No. No. None of my business. I don't think he's leaving the house. Yeah, he's not leaving.

Oh, you don't think he's leaving the house at all? I mean, he probably is. Well, he refuses to get a job. Because there's that Queer Eye episode with that comedian that lives in his parents' basement. I haven't seen it. Or that house.

That's off the new Netflix, Queer Eye? Yeah. Yeah. I can't, I don't know. know what was that person's story he just didn't move out he's a comedian and just lives there but had a social life yeah he's a comic i guess i don't know but i can't i was like would i go home to a parent's home and it's like no no because i think that says something about you just personality wise like i mean it's one thing. But my parents taught me not to stick up for myself or to, what is it, be able to afford my things myself. Yeah, right.

What's the word I'm looking for, right? Be independent? Independent. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, that simple word, independent. Your Honor, my parents defanged me and actually robbed me of the abilities to be independent. Therefore, I believe it is my right to actually, they have created me.

I'm a little worried for this guy. It feels like putting this guy out into the world on his own feels a little like putting, like my dog has a hard enough time getting by. I like that we're comparing him to a dog. Well, my dog is like, anytime a human or other dog approaches him, he rolls on his back and shows them his belly

just to be like, hey, we're all cool here. I'm passive. You can literally eat my soft underside if you would like. I feel like this is just putting him out into the wilderness. Well, but you know what? This is the mentality the parents had

that allowed this man to live there for 30 years. Yeah, I'm gonna encourage him. No, you're right. I should make my dog fend for himself. You should just get the fuck out, man. You can't get a fucking job. You got no business being here. I already got two sons.

I got to race. I don't need a third one. Wait, you got two sons? I do. I have two sons and a dog. And a dog who's not working. And the dog is the one whose food I need to soften because his teeth aren't strong enough.

Oh, wow. He's also old. And watch, and he's going to be there until he's 30, Jack, with this attitude. That's just somehow he lives forever. But they gave him $1,000 to leave. They were trying watch, and he's going to be there until he's 30, Jack, with this attitude. That's just somehow he lives for. But they even, they gave him a thousand bucks to leave. Like they were trying to, and he was like, well, I don't have any good work experience. And then like there are jobs available.

Right. Even for people with poor work history. Oh, Michael. It sounds like he was making a lot of excuses. The other thing was like he didn't do anything around the house either. That's the one thing is that he. You got to do something, bro. That was brought into the courtroom. They were like,

he never helped with any of the chores. How do you live in a place and just not contribute anything at all? Because you are a leech. You're a parasite. Yeah. I mean, I remember when I stopped working in politics and trying to switch back to getting into comedy, I moved back home and there was no fucking way I could just be like,

Mom! Yeah. Like, food! Because she would shame me. And she's good at that. As you be like, mom! Yeah. Like, food! Because she would shame me. And she's good at that. As you've seen on my Twitter, my mom's a savage. You know, she wasn't standing for that shit. Yeah. Maybe that is just all parenting is, is like instilling enough shame in your kids so that

they just go out. On some level. Just a healthy amount. Healthy amount. Healthy amount of shame. Yeah. Not overdoing it, but just so that. Don't crush me, but, you, but let me feel the heat still.

And this brings up a study that you were pointing out today, Miles, about 80s babies. You and I are 80s babies. Yes, we are. And we are apparently the most economically screwed- Fucked, I think is the technical term. Yeah. The brokest generation of them all. So this study was done by like the Fed

and I forget which Federal Reserve Bank and the local ones. I don't trust the banks anyway, so I don't trust this study. Okay, well, check this out. No. They were saying that the median net worth of those born around the Reagan years

was around 34% lower than what past trends would predict for their age group versus like Gen Xers were just 18% behind. So like we're just disproportionately underperforming in terms of like our finances and things like that. And now what they're saying is, well, it's not what's being earned or like the savings habits because apparently contrary to popular belief, Americans born in the 80s, we actually

put away more money at higher rates than boomers or Gen Xers did at this age. Yeah. But instead, it just boils down to houses and debt. So a lot of us 80s babies, you know, got a lot of college debt, got a lot of credit card debt. I didn't go to college. Well, hey, some of us got that debt. Well, I don't.

Well, you're lucky. You know what I mean? And now you're doing better. So you might look smarter than most of us now. I'm just trying to feel good about that right now. Hey, well, you're about to buy a house, so look at you. But I think, yeah. Well, not really, but I've been looking.

Well, look, it's good to aspire. I'm about to squat in a house. Yeah, you're about to legally have access. Now that I heard about squatters rights, fuck that. Yeah, Zillow is just more of like a squatting Airbnb vibe. That's where I go to find my squats. Next squats. Yeah, so they're saying like, yeah, we're underperforming.

I think it's because of things like student debt, auto loans, credit card balances, just don't own homes, don't really have stocks and things like that. So when asset prices go up, we just miss out on shit like that. Yeah, and housing. I mean, people who own homes, that's like one of the key ways to add to your net worth and like sort of stabilize your net worth around something. And when a lot of 80s babies were getting out of college into the workforce, the fucking financial crisis hit and nobody was building up enough money to buy a house.

I was living off credit cards by the time college ended. I had some credit cards I was using. Then I graduated in motherfucking 2007. Okay. And I walked into a buzzsaw. I would work at a t-shirt shop. You walked into a buzzsaw? I walked into a buzzsaw.

I was cut in half. No. Yes. Thanks to Scientology, they repaired me. I'm now an operating thetan. No, it was just like, it was a terrible time.

I remember really being so disillusioned with what I was going to do because everything was like, there's no money on earth anymore. And I was wandering. Then I found comedy. And then my mom shamed me and I got out of the house. Can't believe you ran into a bus all day. I'm just still not over that shit. I'm still on the bus though, man.

I'm a clumsy guy. But I do think this is something that millennials will get through, will live through, and eventually will be more frugal and ready for whatever comes down the line. But also, it's not our fucking fault either. So it's not like we have to be more frugal. Yeah, exactly. Come on, it's not our fucking fault either. So it's not like we have to be more frugal. Yeah, exactly. Come on, fucking baby boomers. I think once the baby boomers are all retired or died off, it's going to be good for the country

in terms of financial responsibility because you're going to have a generation that actually is worried and knows the value of a dollar. Yeah. And I'll be telling people, you know, I graduated in 2007 and walked into a buzzsaw. How do you walk into a buzzsaw, dude? Look, I was moonlighting at Home Depot.

I know, it's not like he ran into it and couldn't stop himself. Just slowly. Just very slowly. I don't know. It's a phrase. Oh, is it really a phrase? Yes. Yes. Oh. I thought you were doing a bit. No, I don't know. It's a phrase. Oh, is it really a phrase? Yes. I thought you were doing a bit.

No, I thought you really, I've never heard that phrase in my life. Also, my dad's a carpenter, so I really thought you were. I was like, what? You are an idiot. You are so light about this. Yeah. I walked into a bus stop, folks. Yeah.

Don't take his hat off. Don't take your hat off. It's really gruesome. I look like Chris Gatling. I'm going to have to look up that phrase. We never talked about microblading. Microblade. I love that you were like, damn, the whole time you thought I literally had walked into

a buzzsaw. How did he walk into a buzzsaw? Yeah, I'm clumsy and I didn't get OSHA training. I was like, where are you cut? That's why I wear hoodies and pants all the time. Right. Ever. Yep.

It's been a pleasure having you thank you for having me where can people find you uh you can find me on the internet uh e-v-e-r-m-a-i-n-a-r-d um twitter and and instagram nobody really uses facebook anymore okay except for my mom what's up uh dot com too i got a dot coms um yeah you can find me around i do a lot of shows so so I always post them on there. Twitter and Instagram, not so much. Okay. One of the funniest people out there.

Thank you. Check her out. Out cheer. Miles. Yes. What? What? What were you going to say?

I was going to say, I'm a big fucking slut. Hey. Hey. I walked into a bus stop. Miles, where can people find you? Well, you can find me actually nursing my buzzsaw injuries, so I get back to 100%. But if you're looking for me on social media, I am at Miles of Grey on Twitter and Instagram. Also, guys, Zeitgang, listen up.

Okay, so Monday is Memorial Day. It's a holiday. We're going to take the day off, but we want to leave you guys something to listen to because, you know, we've got to keep you all tapped in. So what we're going to do is day off but we want to leave you guys something to listen to because you know we want to you know we got to keep y'all tapped in so what we're going to do is do a little ama type thing so if you have any questions for us about the show about us personally whatever super producer nick stump super producer anna hosnier whatever hit us with a question on twitter with the hashtag ask dz and yo we will try and answer those questions for you for Monday's show, but please get those questions in by Friday, 8 a.m. Pacific time.

That way we have them. We can record it and you know, y'all can have some answers. You can find me at Jack underscore O'Brien on Twitter. You can find us at daily zeitgeist on Twitter. We're at the daily zeitgeist on Instagram. We have a Facebook fan page and a website daily zeitgeist.com where we post our episodes and our footnotes.

We link off to the information that we talked about in today's episode as well as the song we ride out on. What's that going to be? You know, I've just been listening to a lot of Dilla again. Sorry guys, I love him. Don't apologize. No, I can't. I cannot. But I was thinking about a J Dilla song. I was like, no, let's do

a sort of a flip. So this is a Flying Lotus sort of flip of Slum Village's Fall in Love. Now Slum Village is a J Dilla song. I was like, no, let's do sort of a flip. So this is a Flying Lotus sort of flip of Slum Village's Fall in Love. Now, Slum Village is the J Dilla crew of the group, and he produced the song Fall in Love. But this is the Fly Low flip, which is a little more vibey, a little more mellow, you know, because I'm a paper chaser. So just check out Flying Lotus, Fall in Love. His little G mix, his remix, his flip.

All right, we're going to ride out on that. We will be back tomorrow because it is a daily podcast. Talk to you guys then. Bye. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey fam, I'm Simone Boyce. I'm Danielle Robay. And we're the hosts of The Bright Side,

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