The Daily Zeitgeist - Butt Fully Out

Episode Date: May 20, 2026

It’s one match closer to the end, it’s Piero’s beautiful butt, it’s a lucky non red card.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hey guys, it's us. The Jonas Brothers. I'm Joe. I'm Kevin. And I'm Nick. And guess what? We created our own podcast called, Hey Jonas.

We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it. But, you know, tired and sick. Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you.

you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it. Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy. Not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel. Help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the ice. Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Winning on Clay is an art. The rallies are relentless. And at the French Open, only the toughest survive. I'd know. I competed there for decades. Join me, Renee Stubbs, on the Renee Stubbs tennis podcast for no nonsense breakdowns of the biggest matches, the toughest players, and the moments that define Roland Garris. She can win.

She's an outsider to win the French fame. And she likes Clay. Listen, Lina Rubakina is arguably the best player in the world right now. And I actually can win on any service. Listen to the Renee Stubbs tennis podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal but encouraged. It's the enhanced games.

Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days I'd put on 10 pounds, I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Guess what? One match down, one match closer and closer to the fucking thrilling conclusion of this season's Barclays Premier League. It's Match Week 37.

Okay, we just watched. As of this recording, we do not know what happened with City and Bournemouth. That is a huge question mark hanging over the proceedings. But what we do know is we just got back from the fox and hounds. And we did see Arsenal eke out. What was a very, of a fucking stressful one-nill match,

one-nill winner over Burnley. But anyway, it's a in-futty match week 37. Chris Martin, 10, 17, 3 words, phrases, facial, expressions. Holding in a piss. Oh, okay. I was holding in a piss. You're doing that right now? Yep. And I was holding one. There's one toilet in there. I needed to urinate, but all the game got back. And even this then, I was just, and I just, the whole game, I felt like I was mentally holding in a piss. The whole, I was, could not relax. The whole season. Yeah. Yeah. I've been holding in a piss. It's been a lot of your routine and I can't wait. I can't wait.

I can't wait to open up my urethra and let it fly. Just let that thing. You don't want to preemptively pee your pants? I mean, I want to get into that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have already. Okay, I have already done that. I pissed my eyes.

I was going to say, you did change your pants. What you were wearing at the fox and hounds. That's why I always went black. That's why I was with black. I went in a ladies room. And I told you, even then it's not 100%. I'm like Batman, but in casual clothes. I just have different black chinos.

There's a big wet spots. Yeah, yeah. I'm like Batman. Yeah. You're just a weird dude He's wearing his web, so. Yeah, man. I went in,

it's a line at halftime. Yep. And a dude is like, the dude in front of me is like, hey, uh, nobody's in the women's room right now, right? Like the line is going back to where the women's room is.

He goes, hey, watch the door for me. Yeah. And I go, hey, do the same for me. There you go. Door for door. Oh, no.

Then as soon as he leaves, I go piss and now there's a lady waiting for me when I open the door. Disgusting. Whatever. And that was your work. phrases to some of how you're saying. I mean, kind of basically.

What about you, Jamon? I mean, shit, dude, we all was together, man. My thoughts and phrases are a spirit bomb, guys. We all need to just put our hands up and just let some anime shit happen, Doug. Yeah. It's out of our hands now.

It's up to God and the cartoonists. Yeah, truly. One interesting thing, though, I used to go to the Fox all the time to watch matches. Shout out to L.A. Gooners. And people didn't used to lock the door. You would just piss next to the person you.

Yeah, I saw it. It's a urinal next to the, or urinal, as I would call it. Yeah. So I'm so American. There's a urinal next to a toilet. And then the sort of unwritten rules, you both, for some reason, when someone's peeing into a, just a bowl, it feels like not as cool as doing two urinals. I don't know why.

But I think it's probably, because I wonder to like as at night and you're drunk as fuck, you don't give it. You're like, bro, I have to pee, man. Like, fuck all this. Like, I have some privacy, please. I love it if you saw. You do it in the sink. Yeah, yeah.

Right. And people have. Yeah. And people do. But you're saying that the reason you stop going is because you can't piss within a few inches in another man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Well, Capier had it out for you today. Yeah, he did. He did. Prong us all together. How do I feel? There were, I feel old. Because as I was watching this match, there's a lot of younger supporters now.

Full song the whole time. And I was so stressed that I was just like, I couldn't. I had to just be like, I have to just watch reality unfold, as much I would love to sing along. Can I be with you now? That was the quiet. You didn't speak for two hours. I know, I was.

Yeah, you were pretty tight. You were the guy like in the bar, you look at him. That guy's going to beat someone up today. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I look like Liam Neeson before he gets drunk and looks for it. What was that thing when he would say? He's like, I used to get drunk and look for a black guy. Like, oh, Lord.

Yeah, that came out a few years ago. Yeah, no, he said it. He was really open about his, about his, his accident, is sort of racist, subconscious. Yeah, yeah. said it out loud in an interview and then everyone was like, all right, well, I kind of have that energy. We'll have to hold that back for a couple of months, but it'll be fine.

Shit. The other thing I do, the other feeling that I have is Jason Sadek is, please don't fuck us over. Hey. Okay. Hey. I know your co-star is always at the matches.

Brendan Lynch, what's that guy's name? Do we know his name? Armand. Oh, you know what I'm saying? Big Arsenal with the hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

This is, this is good podcasting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did an audition with him once. A very nice man. Oh, really? Very nice, man. Brendan. Brendan something.

What's that show called? They're on. Steve Jobs. No, it's called Fred. Fred Lassow. Fred Lassow. No, what's it called? Ted Lampson.

It's called Fred Hampton. No, it's Ted Lasson. Yeah, I didn't discover that Lassau is just Handen Hunt. That's what it is. There you go, come on, man. Had to get that right. Fired it out.

Tell you guys to say the word Lassou. You say Lassu? Yeah, because I was saying something to my friend. I was trying about a lasso and a lasso and he went, you mean like in a roping, western spelling, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys call it a lasso.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because this is America. We call it a lasso. Yeah, in America, it's only one-oh, so it's a, oh. But isn't it, how is it spelled? Isn't it spelled the same? Like French, oh, it's lasso for a cowboy, too? Lasso in the UK. What?

That's fucked up, bro. Yes, it's same. I'm sorry, it's the worst thing where people have done. All right, yeah, yeah. You guys are hurting cattle like that? You guys had a spotless fucking record until that. Spotless record. 20 and O.

Yeah, Jason Zadakis was there. You never know because you just said Drake talked about PSG in the new album. Yes. And we know Drake, there is such thing as a Drake curse. Yeah, we do not get mentioned. Thank God. Oh, I didn't know. That's a thing, is it?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure. He's always posting, like, bets, big bets for big games. He's blowing, like, tens of millions of dollars. Yep. Oh, God. Or, like, other times, was it, was he in the Kentucky locker room? Yes.

That one year? Yes, yes. Fully hit it out. Yes, multiple times. Yeah, yeah. He's cursed at the University of Kentucky. Oh, right. They were supposed to win a national title.

Then he was, like, hanging out with them and like. As far as we're aware, he has not, he, is he an Arsenal fan, right? No. No. No. Okay, good, good, good. He likes whoever Nike sponsors. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thank God. So to be Chelsea, Barcelona. Anyway. But not us. Thank God. Don't worry about that. But he's mentioned PSJ, so we're going to win the Champions League. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we heard, did Dembelli get hurt, too? I was reading. Over the weekend. That never is her as you think that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone was like on a bending machine. On Reddit was like,

oh my God, how dare Luis Enrique put him out there for his 10th league appearance? Does he know how to not just drive men into the ground? It's crazy. But anyway, let's get to it. Arsenal Burnley.

Our last home match of the season, we got City just two points behind us. Let's make it five before they have to go away to Bournemouth and make shit happen. And we got, how did you, what was your sort of feeling throughout the match? Was it, you, I started off very confident, angry, actually. I was so angry, confident. He kept talking about gouging someone's eyes out.

I did. And I said, I was foaming out of the mouth. You're like one pair away from just absolutely attacking anyone who. Yeah, berserner barrage and a guy. Jason today, because he's lucky got out of life. Yeah, yeah. You're kind of old, That had been a drop.

Old psycho man. The whole guy hasn't blinked the whole time. You're like, you're like doing something like Zen shit. You're just like, I'm just, you know, just stare at the screen until we win.

Like, everybody has to do with their stress in their own way. And I saw, I was just, for me, I was like, it's crazy because my mindset is,

if I was on that team, I wouldn't be fucking up. I would be so fucking focused. I would be so fucking ready. I can't fucking wait to get out there. And that was my sort of mental state along with, uh,

the child's going to check violence. Guys, this is the fucking standards. Look at this, Look at his psycho. He lost his family guys. For us, guys. He's lost in, guys.

He can't see his keys again, guys. Because of this, guys. He's locked in, guys. I was confident. What would you describe your beginning? No, I was pretty confident. I was like, it was that way they think it was a very confident.

I was like, we're going to show the lineup. That's a good lineup for the game. Ezra and Odegaard. We're just going to dominate the ball, have attackers. And then, then about 20 minutes, I was like, we do need to score. That's the weird thing. You're like, we do have to win it.

We can't just draw. We need to win it. And then the build up to the goal, I was doing, I mean, I told you before that I was late to the pub. I forgot my tiger's eye crystal, got the crystal. How far did you go before you? It was a divert. It was like a little diversion.

I was driving back from somewhere and then the one, the misses. And it was like a five minute diversion. But it was, it was, I did the, I analyzed it was like, if I don't bring it and we lose. Yeah, yeah, you'll have. And I knew, are you going to be looking as scary as shit for the whole game? I was like, Miles is going to stop roundhouse kicking me in the middle of the fox down.

So I got the, got the crystal. And then 20 minutes then I was a bit nervous. Then we started to build some like, Saka should have had a pet. I was like, I just came in, gosh, surely you've got to score. Should have got a score. And then we scored and it was that amazing moment. And I was like, just get a second before our time. Kill it off.

And I obviously didn't. And then second half was that was the real holding and a piss vibe. Just like, I kept being like, I just kept, I think I said, I said 12 to 15 times. Just get a second goal so I can actually enjoy it. Just enjoy a game of football. I would love it. I would have loved that goal to be like, enjoyed any of this.

You're waiting to exhale goal, but we didn't get that. Did you go into it confident? No. Oh, you were up, you said you were up early. I'm up in 4 a.m. watching talk sport clips. I'm freaking out. The best thing to watch. I'm looking at predicted lineups.

I'm watching Gooner Talk. I'm watching Charles Watt. I'm losing it. Wow. I'm slowly crumbling. I mean, I never felt good from last week. Yeah, sure. I'm like, Burley at home is a fucking trap.

Everybody on Earth assuming we win it's like. I mean, like, there was no way of Burnley was ever going to lay down. These guys are all auditioning to not get sent to the fucking championship. And this is your best chance to put anything good on film. You get any result at the Emirates, you're the fucking man. Not to mention everybody involved in football who hates us for no reason. Now you're the man. Everybody loves the fucking clearance.

Yeah. And I was stressed. They looked like they'd eaten whatever you'd eat in today. They were there to fight. Yeah. And they got nothing to play for it. nothing to lose. Just stress and anger.

Yeah, you want to talk about some fucking Haram ball. Yeah. Yeah. They had terrorism vibes for sure. Fleming. That little guy with the nasal strip?

Fleming. Yeah. What's a, Robbie Fowler face and the hair of my aunt. Those bangs? Your bangs are trash, dude. He was going for like K-pop surfer,

Princess Diana, one of the three. K-pop sphincter hunter. Fuck you. You hated it. I mean, obviously I knew he didn't injure David Wright. but when he collided with David Ryan

he went down. Part of me was like, this would have been the most burn lead shit ever that one of these fuckers just takes him out in stoppage time. And then, yeah, the goal was, oh my God. It was funny though, because it was the,

we did the short corner thing again. I was just put it in the box. And I was like, well, we're not going to get. As soon as he kicks it, it's immediate celebration. Trousard wasn't on the short side. I'm like, all right, at least he, Sark was going to send it deep.

Let's see what we got. Yep. It was at the point. the chances too where it was like, I feel like the stadium just like made the ball like levitated and it was very like angels in the album. The stadium was foaming at the mouth too. Sackett did a little he kind of

he knew, he that lovely little jump he looked before even touched. There it is. There it is. Yep. Yeah, we went mental. That was fun to go. And then Trussard hit the post like a little bit earlier on. See? That's when shit started getting fired up. I start to

calm down once Trussar hits the post. Yeah, yeah. Because that's what's been working for us is once he gets a shot on frame, everybody settles down, we get a rhythm. Yeah, we know that something's possible. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Even though, because it felt like, too, hold on. It almost caught off his shoulder. The second half, though, too, it was one of those times, like, any time they had the ball, it took, I think the collective energy was like, they're going to fucking score right now. Like, what are they going to fucking do? There were a couple times

They would get an open shot, but thank God their finishing was at the level of Burnley. It was so every time. It was like they were playing again, who can kick it the highest? Like my two-year-old, he loves just kicking the ball as hard as he can. He thinks kicking it high is good. Yeah, and it is. It is good. It's when you're two.

Yeah, yeah. But they kept smashing it over the bar and then how much should have been sent off? Oh, my God. We were checking out of her. I just pink coming up, that's sending up. Yeah. It felt like if it were faster, I think because it looked so goofy at the time, it just felt like a late tackle.

But I think because, like, when you slow, it was one of those things. It looked way worse slowing down. Yeah. But everyone was like, it was so like, everyone was like, I feel like even the rat, the guy got fouled, everyone was a bit like, I don't think she should do that. That's not very nice thing to do. And I was at the room, like, oh, it's really, it's really naughty. This is awful.

I looked around there's another dude who was like, yeah, he's off, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But, listen, they missed the penalty on soccer too, man. Yeah. Hey, that was a penalty, man. It was weak as fuck, but it was a penalty. Yeah, definitely.

It all just hurts. It's just like too much. It's not fun. Yeah. It's like I want to pull the skin on my face. Like, I want to do whatever. You're going to rip the skin off your face? Yeah, what's shorty?

What in Devil wears Prada? Not in Hathaway, not the Glint Cross. Strait. Yeah, I want a Meryl Streeper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like tastefully yanked. Oh. Just, yeah, just to get a little.

Just to give it a little. That's the feeling you need is to rip your skin off. Yeah, man. Yeah, I get that. I might do a, I might do a scrotumplasty or something. I need to just do something. What are scrotts and put you? Yeah, I'm just going to tighten it.

Is that a thing? You're just saying. It feels like I'm going to start it, right? I mean, if you have a real loose bag, why not? I just feel like if you, I feel like if you were someone and you saw, and you were getting into it. guy and then you saw an extreme bag.

If you saw an extremely tight bag with no wrinkles, I'd be like, that's weird. But they're like, face is normal. I don't know if you spent your plastic surgery money in the right, bags under the eyes, close feet, but just a newborn baby's nut forehead, just all these lines across, yeah. You've got Gordon Ramsey on the face, but you've got

Bikaiosakiya's cheek on your nuts. And you'd be like, this isn't feel right. Your priorities is messed. You'd then have to be maybe walking around with your nut sack. That would be your biggest selling point is that you have extremely...

You would probably say that. I was with a guy last night. He had like a really tight balls. Yeah, yeah. It looked like he was young. Like, no, I've never seen... I've just never seen anything like this before. It was...

It looked like Marlon Brando's chin. Chin. Do I? And that's what people come for. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean,

looking now, I don't know what is there to say. I mean, I don't even know. I feel like I was in a fucking car wreck after watching it because it's just, you're so fucking desperate for the result. And must have been,

again, like slightly just in thinking of moments, must have been one of the most boring games of football again. To watch in the second half for just the neutral. Like, there's nothing riding on that game. It's like, what are we?

Yeah, right? What are we doing here? but it was just like the play. I had like a, like all goal differences out of the window now. That was, before the game I was like,

get one goal early, get another and then and then just rack it up. But Arsenal needs to win about 5-0 for goal differences to even have it make a difference. But I think City is going to beat Villa like 4-0 in the final game. It's never going to be a thing. They have to win it. We don't know.

We don't know. We conceded zero XG. I can say. Wow. 0.0.0. Yeah. Really? We conceded

0.0 XG. That's quite funny. They definitely didn't have anything on target. So shit. I would have, I mean, you don't get credit for turnover.

I mean, that's the thing. It's, yeah, even for all those moments that felt like could have been or like just because they had the ball, they still,

what was that stat? They didn't even have a shot from the 57th minute. From the 57th minute. Yeah. So hell yeah. Yeah. Just please.

I mean, you've got to say, though, in terms of after the Man City game, when everyone was like, Austin, I'm going to choke. Yeah.

Arsenal haven't conceded a goal for four games. Yeah. Four clean seats and arrived now. We've won five games this, oh, not in a row, but five games this season without conceding a shot on target. Yeah, but yeah, no shots. But I think we won one, we've won three games one nil and one game three nil in the league. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Four games with no goals conceded. Yeah. Now, we've been locking it down this run in. So it's just, come on, it's a little bit more, guys. Yeah. It does feel like, yeah. You know, like in a movie where there's like, the guy is. like clambering to get over the line.

I was watching there was like Cars movie or something. Yeah, exactly. And there's a little snail just like just about gets over the lines. In the first Cars movie, Lightning and Queen should have gone in for a pit stop, but then he blows his tire in the last lap. And his lead is just shrinking as he's just fucking hobbling for a photo finish. And that ended up a drop technically. So I don't want to, I don't want to evoke.

Luckily, these are people in that car. Luckily, yeah. Luckily. Luckily. Because you imagine we're just way to invest in the cars fucking there. Cars universe. According to cars, bro, you know what I mean?

There's no point watching the final game this season, guys. We've all seen cars. We know what's, yeah. We've all seen cars. Why would we do it to ourselves? Not wasting that early. I've seen cars already. And the boy car does fall in love with the girl car.

Okay. I think we would be remiss to not mention probably the highlight of the game. Yeah. Which is when Piero Hencappier his absolute ass was out. Full ass. And technically, down to his knees,

so his penis was on the pitch. He had his dick in the dirt. I don't know. Has anyone actually had their dick on the pitch at the Emirates? Yes. I mean, that's a good opt-a-stop. Like, bro, check the opt-stats. Look it.

Nah, that's penis. He's giving it the fucking business. It looks like the fucking, the Ray J tape. It should be a foul for pulling a guy other trousers down like that. You could imagine though like Gabriel Ainsler said to him, you know, he's such a, he's such a nutty. He's like,

get out there and fuck the bitch. And then even Einstein's like, oh, I didn't mean like that. That's crazy. There's kids here, man. That boy got a rump. First off. Yeah. I'm going to show my wife. She was like kept talking about fucking heated rivalry. I'm like, check out

Pierre Rohing-Cat. He got some He got a couple heated rivalries on him. And Heinez, you ever notice? Hinesig looks like that dude from a major league. Not Charlie Sheen. Who's the catcher, you know, the old guy? Tom Berringer. Tom Barringer.

He looked like Tom Barringer. To me, I've always seen him as like the Benicio to Mikel Artaeta's Leonardo DiCaprio. And was that one battle after another? Sure, sure. He reminds you just kind of like this fucking weird friend he has from back in the day that's like kind of useful right now. I feel like it's, I feel like he's not real.

It's like he's like Tyler Durden. We're just imagining we're all, we've all just imagined a scary Argentinian man on the shoulder of Mikkel. And it ended, we'll like finish the, we'll win the league next week. And then he'll be like, and we're like, where's, where's Heinz? And I was never here. Gabiang said, he's been in prison since, yeah, 2012, guys. And we're like, oh, shit, Mikkel.

It was you the whole time. Yeah, I can, I can morph my body to be in two ways as once. really poorly putting a mask on behind Alton Street, like Sivanberg. Yeah, he's just like, well, oh, you slow down that you spent up the cameras. Oh, you weren't fooling anyone. Stadium crowd are like, we know he's not real. Yeah. Have you been to a match?

Everyone's like, is he okay? Yeah, yeah. He keeps dressing up like Gabby Einzer. He keeps turning and talking to himself with a weird 80s wig on. It's kind of crazy. Hey, if that's what we got to do, that's what we got to do. That's what the season has done, though. We're so, like, I'm so scrambled in my brain.

I could fully have just completely imagined to. It's just, before, I guess maybe it's worth talking about the FAA Cup final. Do anything else you want to talk about this match specifically before we kind of? I guess it links onto tomorrow. The game will probably be out when people listen to this is the Bournemouth game. And then people are, so Bournemouth get anything from the game, Arsenal win the league. And I have no, I just have no confidence as an Arsenal fan that that will happen because it's never going to be.

That's how we, that's how we, that we're all we're. kind of the people that was going to go our way. But God damn it, if it did, it would be so good. Yeah. You got to just bust out the day. You got to kick the doors down of your daddy's Iguess podcast, run into the street. Jamel's going to be on when we record. Yeah.

And you bet. I'm going to have that shit. Oh, yeah. You're going to watch my eye go, I guess. Wait, I'm going to have the telemundo feed on a big ass screen. You're not, you're just the worst guest ever on the podcast. I'm like, Jamel, man. What's something is underrated?

Uh-huh. Yeah. shit is crazy uh-huh sure did bro you're on the podcast right now what do you um

fuck yeah you're like you know he's over right Evan Ilson dope that's a dive that's a die he's off

he's off he's off yes anyway I would love to have that low stress version of it oh that's so good

it would also be just as stressful too like that it feels like they might draw and something happen oh my god

I don't even know all this shit. Or like somehow like they do drop points, but then Arsenal somehow still lose the league, even though it's mathematics as possible. You're like, what? How do they do that? No, no, no, no. Look, our number is bigger than there. No, no, no, no, no, but that's the way I'm looking at it. You guys, imagine the points total the whole season.

Like, yeah, how? Yeah. Yeah. So, I guess, but, but I think maybe we can just cram in the F.A. Cup part to this before we talk about City, because their last match before the one they're going to have. So, just by the way, one thing you forgot to mention is when we talked about Pierre and Hacquay, having sex with the pitch, she said, look, he was sandblasting. That's textbook sandblasting.

It's exactly how you do it. For a turf blasts out of year. He said grass blast. I said grass blast. That's a grass blast. Yeah, it's all the same. Dude. Hey, bro.

Do you love the pod, doggie? In front of everybody, bro. Dude, and now the challenge, the ball is in your court, my guy. Yeah. Let me see you. fucking dagger the fucking goal line like I did. He might have chalk on his dick. Look at where the goal line is.

Chalk on his teeth, you know, in the changing room, they're all of the boys that like, come get it out. Get it out. Yeah. Oh. Hey.

Dude, look like a mind. It looks like it's doing mind work. Yeah, man. He starts weightlifting with just his dick. He just choked it up. to lift like a tiny dumbbell. Like LeBron with his messes. I don't want to see Eze and Odegaard together again.

It's funny. Everyone, don't do it. I agree. That is a weird thing with people like, oh, see, it's just,

it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's almost like it's just, you need one guy a bit more box to boxy, I think. Well, yeah,

because it's like, because EZ's like to the exact opposite. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? He's kind of in the way sometimes. Yeah. I mean, not that he's in the way, but the way his movement is isn't always quite harmonious with Odegaard.

Yeah, they don't link up, bro. Yeah. It's just not. It should, but it isn't, bro. I think Odegaard on the bench, as it has to start against Pallus, though. This is his game. This is what you get in the 60 mil for, bro. Do you think he's willing to do it?

Just put him down. Yeah. Of course. Are you joking? They've got nothing to play for. Yeah. They've got a European Cup final two days. I guess that's, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hopefully that, I mean, play the kids. All the Palisals are. of supporters I hear from, they're all really nice people. Like, they all seem very rational. So I feel like they would be like, yeah, that would be nice for as they did. We're happy for him.

Put them, put us down. And then we go win conference league. There you go. Everybody win. Go ahead. Apart from the 1-15 charges. Yeah. But yeah, so they did, so they did,

speaking of the devil, they did win the FAA Cup. Pound for Pound on a nice, boring game. Yeah. It's about also being boring. That was so boring. Was it? I just got,

I mean, like, when I saw it was like, like the 77th minute and there was only one now I was like, bro, I feel like I could turn it on

but I'm like, I don't even go to shit. I mean, well, you know, part of that's Chelsea too. This is like their last time trying to win a game

forever, maybe. Did you see the Cousinov incident? No, every game, this guy gets away of a, uh, just stare at,

like, fully looking at somebody, body checking them in the penalty area and gets away of it. I feel like pep's a boyish face. Yeah, he does. So it's two parts to Pep's recruiting strategy.

Do you look like a boy? And do you also have dirt on every referee? Somewhere in between those two things is the city squadron. Right, right, right. So what? And then, so Bernardo is the one who looks like a boy? For sure. He's the most boyish.

But then Kuzinov, he don't got no facial hair. He got a little baby cheek face. He looks like a boy, like an old man pretending to be a boy. Like he's like, yeah, let me get on the kids. Oh, yeah. He looks like Steve. He's like Steve Cushemi. Hello, fellow kids.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, hold the fuck up, bro. What the fuck are you? Bucci and Bernardo, bro. Yeah. How old are you, 11? 11. I still get $5 pizza.

Pizza hot. Yeah, man. Okay. You could go to Little Caesars, man, and be an adult. Oh, yeah. There's like freaking rides I can't even get on at Disneyland. Dude. Let me in here, man.

What the fuck? You're not a look at the because he does it but yeah he's tiny rat man boy for sure yeah yeah um

but kusinoff has he looks he does look so boish and like it's disarming I think it's probably why he's a good defender to a degree where you're like you're just like

you're just like but you're striking like he where's your mom yeah hold on hold on hang on hang on

how did you get here has anyone sorry is anyone's small boy Who is with him? Are you his mom? Just a woman in the crowd?

She's like, no, I'm just a man's safe. I know. But who's this boy? He's playing it. He's playing in the match. I don't know. You're right, little guy. He lost you, mommy?

Yeah. He lost your mommy? Did the child service is not about this? No? Okay. Well, yeah. Well, they, another piece of silverware. But Semeno, we do have to give the man his props and sort of again, another.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then we got to talk about the, I don't think. so coincidental that they dropped the news of him stepping down during the Arsenal game. Because like Arsenal won up against Burnley.

So do you reckon he was just like, all right, league's done? Is that why? I don't know. It's such a weird timing. It's partly, it feels like when you announce you're leaving the club as the manager, it feels like you do that at a time to fire up the squad. So I wonder if he was like thinking is like, well, they're seeing and we're down. Like they're up one-nil.

Now, come on, guys. Do it for me, guys. I wouldn't be fired up by that, bro. We got a game tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also if your boss is quitting, it's not going to fire you on. Yeah, what do you think he's going to be like in the Bournemouth,

Bornmouth dressing room? Like, just kind of like, just checked out just like this. Yeah, yeah. Last day of school. He's going to be in there watching Michael B. Jordan films. You know, he's a, you know, part owner. Part owner.

Oh, yes, that's why, yeah. Michael B. Jordan, please. Help us. Yeah, you know, help us, Michael B. Jordan. This one's for us, Michael B. Jordan. Because it could only help you. I will stop talking about your chin, dude.

What's wrong of his chin? There's nothing wrong with his chin. It's a great chin. He says it's augmented. It's not. It got a little. It's not. He's too handsome a man.

He's too handsome a man. I've never seen the wire. He got his chin done to make it look like, maybe. I mean, I don't care. Like share cropping time. Oh, is the sinners, man.

Yeah. Getting your chin done does fill up, though, of getting your nutsack done, do you know? That's right on the same level. It's the same level. Adding a dent to your face? You just put the nut sack on your chin. Like a turkey, like a little turkey.

But I guess if you had like, if you had your testicles remove like surgically or something for like, you know, cancer treatment or something, you know, some people, they refilled it than the ball back. You put it with a different like a like a tiger's eye crystal. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I wonder if like it's the same as the chin implant material and the fake testicle. Same, same material. same material that they use in there. That's interesting. Any plastic surgeons listening, let us know. What do you, guys, what do you like to fill your chins with?

Is it silicon or is it, is it, is it ball bag? Can I put a nut in my chin? Yes. Like, if I was in a situation like, maybe like a National Treasure type situation where,

and I'm down to one testicle. Uh-huh. Yeah, I put that last one right up here. Wait, why? Why is that national treasure situation? Why do you have to, well, I guess it's my own personal,

like, I got to keep this. Can you explain national treasures to me in this context? Is that about the same movie? No, yeah, but there is, but no, I'm in my brain, I'm just thinking Nick Cage goes on like a sort of a, on an orienteering hunt around the city to find the national treasure. Yeah, if I, if my testicle was like a precious jewel,

okay. Like an Indiana Jones level. Oh, right, right, right. Okay. I just thought you're like, just describing a general situation, you're down to one testicle and you're like, I'd put it in my chin. And I'm like, uh-uh.

No, not that. Somehow, like, so, what you're saying, Nick Cage tells up with a bunch of kids, going,

give us that ball! Now. Okay, that makes more sense. And then I show them, I have no balls. And then my last ball's been to match. But don't you think your chin would look wild goofy?

If you just have one. In Hollywood, it would probably throw this all off. I'm hoping the beard would get me through it. Grow it further. Yeah, yeah. I can't think anymore.

I would have to think differently. You'd be the guy and be like, you'd be good to talk about you. He's like, you might get at your mouth. He's my mate with a ball in his chin. Oh, that one. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Does he sell him? People are fooled by that? Yeah, he does. He does. Everyone knows. He keeps leaving, like, treasure maps to his groin. And people are, that's already a weird thing to leave treasure map to. He, like, he put tea bags on a bit of paper, and he made them himself.

He did do little dash lines, and he put his candle sort of groinel region. There's an X on them. There's the treasure. And then on the back, he's just got a picture of his chin. You think no one's going to turn it over. We turned it around. We've seen it to. Yeah, you would have to grow.

I mean, if you grew it out, you'd need to think people don't know this about Freeway, the rapper in Philadelphia. That's why a lot of the Philly guys grow that big beard because they're all putting their testicle right there. We see you, Philadelphia. Chin nuts. The chin nuts. If I had to.

And you could look like Dorian from the mask when he puts the mask on. Okay. Let's take a break, actually. Let's take a break. And we come back. We can talk a little bit more about what, these other closest teams, I guess, right after this. I'm Luke Wilson. Join me each week for Film Never Lies.

Since retiring from the NFL, I've had a lot of my mind, and now I've got my own show. So if you're tired of lazy takes, if you want honest conversations, join us each week. Film Never Lies, available on all TSN platforms in the IHeart Radio app. Hey, it's us, the Jonas Brothers, and guess what? We have some big news. What's the news, huge news? We created our own podcast called, Hey Jonas. We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it.

We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts. Pretty, yeah, pretty wide range of podcasts throughout there. But this one's extra special. So how do we actually come up with a name, Hey Jonas, guys? I honestly don't remember. I think it was on a call about what we should call it. Well, we were thinking I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band.

Before Jonas Brothers was... This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes. I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing, a bit for the podcast, where people could call in and say, hey, Jonas. And then I wrote down on my little notepad, Hey Jonas, and offered it up as a potential title for the podcast.

But thanks for remembering that, guys. Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it. Another podcast from some SNL, late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman,

Help make you funnier. This week, my guest, S&L's Mikey Day and headwriter, Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Last night, a blown call changed a game. This morning, the internet lost its mind. Highlights are trending, opinions are flying, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened. That's where Sports Slice comes in. I'm Timbo. Every episode, we're cutting through the noise. Breaking down the plays, the controversies, and the stories behind the headlines.

We go straight to the source, the athlete themselves. Their locker room stories, their reactions, the stuff nobody gets to hear. The laughs, the drama, the triumphs, the moments that never make the highlight real. From viral moments to historic games, from buzzer beaders to controversial calls, we break it down, give you context and ask the questions everybody wants answered. Sports slice brings you closer to the action. with stories told by the people who live them. Listen to Sports Slice on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

And for more, follow Timbo Sliced Life 12 and the TikTok podcast network on TikTok. And we're back elsewhere around the league, towards the bottom. I think I, were you guys watching the Newcastle West Ham game with some interest just because of the implications on Totna? Yeah, I guess I turned it on. It also was on Telemundo, so. Yeah, I was watching it. I'm just like, I caught it from, I think the. like right between the Volta Mada goal

and the Osula goal his first Osula goal. Did he do the spin? He pulled the glove out on the first one or the second one? No, I think he did on the second. That makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to say this right now. I don't like, I don't like props in my celebrations. Cool, yeah, comedy, pure. It's like, are you carrot topping your

celebrations. No offense to the carrot top. He was apparently very good at what he does in Vegas. Oh, come on, he's the guy. I don't want to be. Like, you haven't seen it. Yeah. You've never seen him? I'm on his loyalty team. I've got eight stamps for seeing him. And I got the ninth viewing. We know you're a carrot head. I'm a big...

I'm a top carrot. I'm a top carrot. Yeah, he's top carrot. You get like, you just get like a little, little bit of, um, a little bit of green sort of... Yeah, yeah, popping out. And you put it on your head and he goes, like, top carrots are in the house.

Uh-oh, this guy's ready to be bucked. Yeah. Oh. And he dresses up as a bunny and he, he comes and nibbles on my head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, a carrot top. You crazy, crazy dude. No, but I just feel like, I feel bringing a prop to celebrate with as a footballer.

Call me off. The game's gone, mate. Yeah. The game's gone. I even felt that way when like Obama Yang used to have like the Black Panther mask. I'm like, oh, you got have a mask in your, in your, in your, don't be sucks. I mean, I like, you're so horny for a goal. You're like, ooh, and when I score, I need to have my little toys out there to play with.

Where does it end, though? Where's it? Can you, can you have a cape on under your shirt and then like kind of Superman it? Yes. Yeah, honestly. You get the team to build a phone box in the corner and you run in there in your kit and then you spin around a few times

you come out fully dressed as soon. Yeah. You're like, I didn't have time to put an outfit on. I don't want to get a yellow. Fuck it. Coming out naked, bro. Yeah, and then you start. What can they do?

What can they do? Normally, I'd agree. If it was anything other than Michael Jackson, baby, Mike's back, dude. He knows about the SEO. Yeah. That's going up in all the fan pages. to like tribute to Michael from Nicholas Osula.

Even Roy Keen like... Did he like it? What he said? He was like, first he was like, game's gone, man. Newcastles had a terrible year. But like a bit of that Michael Jackson. Yeah.

And then he was like, hey, I'm not going to say it's a bad move. It's a pretty good move. I just don't think you should be doing it. You guys didn't even make Europe. What the fuck? Right, right, right, right. Oh, that's so fucking funny.

Yeah. So that was a, I mean, for a second, it felt like maybe West Ham figured it out made at like around 2-0 like they were warming up a little bit but then Newcastle put a third behind them and then Castellanos

had a really nice, really nice goal. That was a lovely goal really nice goal. Another pointless, good pointless goals. Great point of the top pointless ones. We should have a top 10 pointless goals of season. That's definitely up there. There was one I think Jal Pedro school one every week didn't he? The bicycle kick.

Oh yeah. A bicycle gig. Yeah. Top 10 pointless goals just isn't that? And then I think I think Risharlason will always He's usually... The award is named after. Yeah, the Risharlison Pointless Goal Award. Or it would be the Eric Lamella Pointless Goal Award because...

Robonas. Yeah, because that Robona is still like tattooed on the inside of a lot of Spurs fans' eyelids. And you're like, what happened in that, man? Did that win that one? Oh, no. Well, whatever. But West Ham, so, West Ham,

so Tottenham, obviously, if they draw tomorrow, it's done, but they are playing away at Chelsea, and Chelsea hate them. Yeah, they never do great out there. They haven't won in like a decade or some shit like that. Yeah, so my money's on Chelsea win. I'm still ever the optimist that I think Chelsea win tomorrow, Tottenham. We'll get a bit nervy and I think West Ham can do, they can do Leeds final game.

I said to you, the Leeds players, that's the game. They're like, you know what? Yeah. Let's get on the beach, man. Yeah, let's start sandblasting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll have a little bit of the final game. In the commentary match.

They all just pull that the short. Cuzzlingly, all 11 men are hips down on the ground. It's down naked, humping the toe. With their bums. Yeah, how did you get around all the players? Well, all 11 of them were fucking the grass. Yeah. They call it pitch blasting.

And it's taking the familiar league by storm. It's a new TikTok trend. Six, seven, and pitch blast. Yeah. Dude, did you see how Nuno looked on the side of the bench? You could see his life leave his eyes over the course of the game. And then by the end, he was just like droopy dogs, like, blue. I mean, that's how I felt watching it too?

Like, how the fuck is Newcastle putting three past these guys? Yeah, I know. I know. Trying to score once on this fucking dumb-ass team. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they don't have anything to play for Newcastle, really. But then someone said that they want to come ahead of Sunderland, and they were like two points behind.

So that kind of mean something to them. Okay, yeah, just a little. But yeah, this whole, like, I read, like, it's true. Everyone going, this team's got nothing to play for hasn't really been. Damn, they all are playing their best games. I read somewhere that, like, a lot of contracts that they have in, where it's like every like, I don't know, what they get, they get some extra.

Yeah. I don't know what they get. You score a goal. You're getting a bonus. Wherever you don't give up. People got like deals where, depending on where the team ends up in the table and shit. Right, right, right, right.

Well, they're professional. They want to win every time I step on a turn. Apart from Villa, who if, if they have words. No, no, Emery will tell them, guys. Sogiest into the season. Hey, down, down. Down tools, put the tools down. Put the tours.

Put the tours. Speaking of which, Ashton Villa 4, Liverpool 2. Wow. I got to say, this, they, damn, Liverpool looks bad. Villa looked, you know, they look good. I mean, they were doing their thing. Although it was just kind of, I was more amazed just to watch, like, the Liverpool team just kind of like, they look like they're so frustrated with their season too.

Yeah, they're ready to go home. Yeah, like Sobol's slide that slip he had for anything like the second goal that Villa had. very just like, ah, fuck, whatever, maybe we can just squeak by.

But I think they leapfrog them in the table with this result, right? Yeah. They guaranteed champions into fourth place. So,

yeah, that's a big one. So, so weirdly Liverpool are not necessary, I mean, they are going to make it, but they're not guaranteed

it because if Baltimore win, right, against New City, which would be just fantastic, then they're going to be, where is it?

They'll be on 58 points. So there'll just be one point behind. They'll be one off Liverpool and Liverpool's final game of the season. But is at home to Brentford, which isn't a gimmie. And then Borma's final game is away at Forrest and Forrests, I mean, nothing to play for, which means nothing. But yeah, so it's, and even Brighton. No, no, Brian can't. It's Bournemouth the only ones can catch him.

But it would be kind of fun. I mean, imagine if Bormouth did that. Yeah, it'd be crazy. Be crazy. Van Dyke had like the two goals he scored. Every time Van Dyke scored, he felt it looked like he was like this, like the angry veteran on the team. And just been like, just head of going, like, let's fucking go.

Like, when you fucking do something, I can't be the only person that remembers. Did he say this team was doing some shit? I don't know if he played. He made himself known to the world. He was posting like he did. Yeah, yeah. He's trying to get Schlaught fire four times this season.

Yeah. It's so true. His aim for the season has been. And then I think, I came on the 74th minute. And Slot basically said in his rebut that, like, A lot of these players, these great players, when they lose their ability, they start lashing out and can't come to terms of it, which is quite a feisty reply. I mean, that's pretty funny.

Caddy, that's great. It's not the way to go down. Yeah. Not a way to leave your team that you kind of have, you've given so much to them and they've given so much to you just to stop. But it must be weird when you get a shit manager. Remember Ian Wright talking about Bruce Riott coming in. Right, right, right, right.

And he being like, this man is a dumb dumb. Yeah, yeah. When you don't have any respect for the manager, like, it's just like a job. You know what I mean? Like when, like literally, if I'm on a shift and I don't respect the manager, guess who's getting high as fuck on the clock? That's why I got fired from Weckmans. What happened?

Woodbridge, Virginia, just fucking around? Yeah, just not giving a fuck. Whatever, you know what I'm saying? Manager is weak. Yeah. So now I'm, you know. Yeah. Now I'm doing my thing in the parking lot.

Yeah. Now I'm selling weed out of the parking lot. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm walking in a few minutes late. Yeah, yeah. You go to sidehouse. So it's America.

You go to make your own money. Yeah, exactly, man. Well, yeah. And also like when you're just, just posted it where you go buy weed anyway. Back in the old days. Listen, the Weak was one of the,

that was the first dispensary in Woodbridge was the Weckman's parking lot. You'd be at the Wiggin' parking lot. Back at that one flickering light in the back of the parking lot. You know far back there. Don't get out of your car. I'll get, I'll come up to your car and I'm going to get in the front seat. Fucking dummy.

Kids don't know how to do fucking drug deals anymore. It is kind of frustrating. I don't know if you know this, Chris, but we have an epidemic in this country. I'm on a green car. so I've never broken the law. That's good. That's why I'm telling you because I know you're a law-abiding citizen.

You can break. That's not, I want to become a citizen, so I can break the law. Stay in the country. It's great. In a maximum federally funded facility. It's on a bin. Yeah, I don't know. Liverpool, best of luck to you.

Well, you can tell all their fans are just like, we've, we've, they're already like, we're on the fence about this guy and then Jabby's gone to. Yeah. We'll get to that because I've read some interesting things about that from the reactions of Liverpool fans. Scouses. Manu three, Forrest, two, maybe should have been a drop? Oh, yeah.

Definitely. It's the most obvious handball. I mean, you sound like, no one knows what the handball law means anymore. But it's like the hand. That was just a handball. Just a wreck of the road.

He controlled the ball with his hand. They're like, well, it bounces his body. It hits hand. Yeah, but it fully allowed him to control the board. they'd be like, well, in case it does, my hand is there. And then, yeah. And then they allowed the goal. And then the next day, like, actually,

meant the mistake. Don't even do that. Yeah. The PGMO, just shut up. Yeah. Send everybody. Go full Trump. Yeah, yeah.

Be a, a big not a handball. Yeah. It was good handwork. Yeah. Yeah. What are they going to say? Really? Um, yeah.

I mean, just, if we're going to be in a. abusive relationship, just fully go there and be like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Yeah. I didn't make a mistake. You did. What hands? They're like, but you, he doesn't even have any hands.

And you're like, really? And they show you an AI doctor thing. No, they just put a post-it up on the screen that covers it. I don't see anything. I don't see anything. I don't see any man. That's, that's so low effort, man. You could have done a little bit more than that.

This game had no business being on TV. Yeah. I feel like, why are we showing all these games that technically don't matter? Well, you know, there's always a reason for the Barclays hype machine to be going and they were like Bruno Fernandez got 20 assists for the season and it's the same as Henri's and Van and DeBroins but can we just we got no corners I mean obviously corners count when

Saka gets an assist when it's a different team that I don't care about it doesn't count but the corner assist it's not the same yeah it's the same it's not the same as thread in a ball and but to be fair Bruno Fernandez does have that capacity to play like that but it just feels like an odd thing for him to be the player of the season too not playing not playing not playing in Champions League. I mean,

in the season where you're just playing 40 games, so that doesn't count. Because next season you're going to see, man new, they've kept carrot. Again, they're going to be regretting that decision. Because everyone looks good

when they just play once a week. Yeah, yeah, sure. With that scores, I'd do a D-Sh, I'd get top four. Oh.

I'd get top four. Okay, once a week, get my ideas on the pit, on the, you get my ideas across to the players. It's a lot of time. You get to have,

like, themed nights. Yeah. I'd be like a Harry Rednaap, get people's mood up. Guys, You can have, you can drink on Wednesdays. It's all good.

Let your hair down. Yeah, they're doing karaoke. You loosen the leash and then the players will repay me on the field. I brought the set of global guts down over here. Y'all can play guts, the obstacle course game show from the 90s today. And I brought some macro credit. Your knowledge of 90s obstacle-based game shows. You do not know about seconds to none.

Look, thank you. How do you feel about wipeout as a game? Oh, is it very derivative. Modern version. Very derivative. It's based on a few Japanese game shows, actually. similar design. You know, we can get into that later.

Okay. On my new show called, remember that? No. You stole me? You stole from Japan. Yeah. You stole that from a Japanese game show. Um, yeah.

Listen, uh, people keep saying that this is like, well, whenever I think about how people have said, this is the most boring season and that's Arsenal's fault. Picking Bruno to be player of the year is boring and lame. And that's got nothing to do with us. No, nothing. Nothing. Find a new fucking angle. Come on now.

All right. Shall we maybe take another break? Take another. That's what we like to do. We like to take a few different breaks. That's why the players want to repay you because you give us a lot of time off. Yeah.

Got two days off. Up you go. Go play some what I got this time. What is it? Oh, Legends of the Hidden Temple. Okay. Remember that one? Did that make it to the UK?

No, is that another obstacle based on Nickelodeon. Yeah, yeah. We didn't have the budget for that. So you just end up watching, like, one of the big games at the moment in the UK TV is, you know, the, um, do you have in this country? We have them normally on, like, um, piers where you put two, like pennies in a machine and it goes down and the pennies get close to being pushed off the edge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. They have that in like a, uh... They've made a game show in the UK where it's just a giant version of a 2P machine where you put it in and it goes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tipping point. There we go. That's what it is. Of course, you're the most British man, I know, you know, Ben Shepard, the present. a very, very charismatic, man. I am I even pulling that out. Tipping point, obviously.

Obviously. You can't game show. The ITV primetime game show, yeah. So we'd have the budget that. We just take carnival-based games and make them, I like that.

We shouldn't have the budget for the shit. We do. No. You know what I'm saying? That should be going to like a hospital. Yeah, American stuff. He's like, you know, it's always a test of strength.

We need to throw in, you know. Can this mom lifting 18 wheeler off of her child? Yeah. Yeah. The game show. Yeah. How many cars can Wesley two scoots Barry jump over? Right.

There we go. And Two Scoots Barry, he's got like a really like heart, maybe either warming or wrenching story. Yeah. He's playing for like a children's home. Yeah. Or he's like escape from the, it's like the opposite version where he's the kid. That guy should have just, he's playing for his own game show way.

Just jumping over cars with Wesley two scoots Barry. Because that was, that was, that's, there's no way you can just show me a man jumps over cars and then still make him do more games to prove his worth to me. Right, right. All right, what else you got? Yeah, yeah. I'm like, do you know what? You automatically, it's, it's automatic.

You win it, mate. That's crazy. You've got to died, man. But you know what you didn't? Everyone under 40, I'm sorry for that reference. No, anyone under 40, what are you on about? Look, we've narrowed, we've dialed in our audience, and it's about 14 people that understand what we're saying without explanation, including us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's okay. We just keep rewatching this. Yeah, we're like, between us. This shit, great. Yeah. Have you seen this show? We know exactly what we're talking about. These guys are fucking smart, man.

Okay, we'll be right back after this. This May, IHart Radio celebrates Asian Heritage Month. Discover powerful stories, vibrant cultures, and unforgettable music. From inspiring podcasts to playlist that span east, south, southeast, and West Asian artists. The voices shaping our world. Listen now on the free IHR radio app. and at iHeartRadio.ca. Hey, it's us, the Jonas Brothers, and guess what?

We have some big news. What's the news, name? Huge news. We created our own podcast called, Hey Jonas. We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts.

Pretty, yeah, pretty wide range of podcasts throughout there. But this one's extra special. So how do we actually come up with the name, Hey Jonas, guys? I honestly don't remember. I think it was on a call about what we should call it. And, well, we were thinking I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band before Jonas Brothers. This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes.

I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing, a bit for the podcast, where people could call in and say, hey, Jonas. And then I wrote down on my little notepad, Hey Jonas, and offered it up as a potential title for the podcast. But thanks for remembering that, guys. Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it. Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you

funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last night, a blown call changed a game. This morning, the internet lost its mind. Highlights are trending, opinions are flying, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened. That's where Sports Slice comes in. I'm Timbo. Every episode, we're cutting through the noise, breaking down the plays, the controversies, and the stories behind the headlines.

We go straight to the source, the athlete themselves, their locker room stories, their reactions, the stuff nobody gets to hear. the drama, the triumphs, the moments that never make the highlight real. From viral moments to historic games, from buzzer beaters to controversial calls, we break it down, give you context, and ask the questions everybody wants answered. Sports Slice brings you closer to the action with stories told by the people who live them. Listen to Sports Slice on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more, follow Timbo Slic Life 12 in the TikTok podcast network on TikTok. And we're back.

We should talk about some managerial changes. Oh, baby. Because this is crazy. The managerial merry-go-round. There we go. It's really weird. That'd be a really weird attraction at a fun-fe. You just go around.

You just got like pet, just a hole through his head and just spins around. You're like, which one do I get to sign? Right on their backs. Yeah, right on their backs. Or just a random team just ends up over your head. It's like, oh, well, now you're Chelsea. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, now what? Well, let's spin the merry ground. Yeah. All right. That does feel like the Chelsea, Jabby Alonzoan's going to Chelsea has shook me a little bit. I just, it just felt so nailed on that he'd be at Liverpool, but clearly they've gone to him, we're going to keep slot,

and he's like, I need a job. Chelsea, it's one of those ones that everyone's like, people are like, wow, that's a car crash, but then people are like, I think he's going to be the guy to sort of culture out there. Maybe. I don't know, it's like, well, because the thing that you feel like he needs is that his word is the final word

and then that the team backs him. So I feel, and I guess that's the thing. It's like, I get it, bro. It's a process to do that. but can the board at Chelsea actually withstand those growing pains? Because like when we were going through them, I remember me like,

the fuck are we doing? But it made like if you wanted to, I was trying to be as objective as possible and be like, no, we do need to get the right kinds of characters into the club. And if these people think they're too good

or they don't need to fucking play their fucking minds out, then fuck them. But I just don't know if that kind of patience exists. Well, they definitely got characters. Yeah. Chelsea was just like USA. Characters welcome.

Right. They still got like, 40 guys on the roster? Yeah, they've got a lot of wingers. Okay. A lot of wingers. Levi Polville being back is big for them. He'd been out all season and he's their best defender.

So he's cut, you know, if you're him, there's a lot of talent there. It's just that it's like, there's also a lot of assholes. Right. Right.

It's like going somewhere where everyone's really beautiful, like a party and everyone is an influencer. It's just going to a party full of influencers. You're like, they're so pretty. Yeah. But they're so dead inside. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, they got nothing. But it got so bad. I was looking on the, like this morning, I was looking at the Liverpool subreddit. And there was a note from the mods about people, like supporters mental health because of what people were posting in like the wake of the news that I'd be in law. Really?

Yeah. And they're like, hey, man, take care of yourselves. Oh, God. Because people were posting some dark shit. I think some, you know, just being kind of tongue in cheek. But enough where they're like, just so you know. A little more than our usual. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, let's, let's be real here. We've called the Samaritans. Which is, well, because that felt like, how are they going to fumble this one? I said it reminds me of when it's not quite the same because he wasn't former art, but Klopp was available. We kept Venga. And in Liverpool, Liverpool just burnt Rogers and brought him in. And that was the best thing they ever did.

And this one feels like they've done the Arsenal thing of like the loyalty. And it has been hard, you know, like we keep saying, someone important passed away. So that's, you kind of have to respect the board in that way. but he's right there, Alonzo. Yeah. Gotta be ruthless, I think. I feel like it also too, like if you're a slide, you're like, yeah, I get it, bro. Yeah, you want.

You want your old thing back. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I'm not it. And I'm not it. And I, based on what I've been doing, I get it. You know? Come on, man.

Like any good step dad, step down. At the time, yeah. Arne's sort, look, not like I've been to one, but he does look like someone if you went to like a Dutch sex club who would just be standing there full gimpsuit. Oh, yeah. Just drinking, just drinking cocktail. Not not really doing much, but just like, he'd be like, he's just like, I'd just like to watch.

Yeah. He just looks like that. He's like, I don't know whether that came into their thinking when they decided to renew him for another season. I'm just saying that's what the vibe he gives me. That's what, yeah. There's a same vibe at a barbershop. There's always a guy in the front seat who can't really cut hair.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's like, hey, I'm available. And you're like, no, your seat is always empty. I was there. It's so true. There's one guy who's never got bookings. It's like, you just jump in. You're like, no, there's a reason. There's a reason he's better.

I'm always, yeah. Thank you, though. You sure? You sure? I'm absolutely sure. Anyway, man, come on now. They've always got up. You've always got no hair as well?

Yeah, yeah. So he's the bull guy. You're like, all right. Yeah. You just watch. You just watch. But yeah, that's, I didn't realize. Yeah, if you're a Liverpool fan, that's crazy to be like,

I mean, it's, take a walk, guys. That was the thing I always thought. I was like, okay, you know, I guess he'll, I guess he'll wait for Liverpool, because the time he didn't work out with Klopp leaving, so he's taking the Real Madrid job. That was a fucking disaster. And now he's there.

And I felt, I don't know. I just, I feel like he had to say to them, if you're him after Real, he's going to go, I need to have full control of everything. Otherwise, he wouldn't take him.

You just think it'd be crazy if he takes job and he has to have someone telling him to like, you've got to make a sub on the 6th minute and all that stuff. But I guess Chelsea have done that, right? Because like, Moreska was like,

bro, I can't deal with 40 of these people. Just make a, just make a retirement home for these places. that he's the manager. Right. At least there's no. They said he's managing not the head coach.

It's the big, big difference. That's a big difference. And it's a little scary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why. But then Liverpool's just going to fade away. As long as one of them's gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We'll live, I hope. We'll be fine. We'll be fine. We'll be fine. And then elsewhere, Jose Marino, he's also back. Real Madrid.

Why? What is up with Real Madrid where they just can't? Like, Nobody knew? No, I think they're just like who. It's just, you just need a guy. It's just someone that can, it's like the guy, it's like Michelle Fyfer in Dangerous Minds.

You just need the person who can kind of control the classroom. Yeah. But not be like too prescriptive. You need to be the cool teacher. Yeah. And he's at that point in his life where he's like, I don't get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He walks in smoking.

He's like, you can smoke when you play. I'm sure that these players will like that. He said turkey stinks too. Remember when he said turkey stinks too? He smells? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They probably like that. Well, he said the country.

Yeah, he said the country smells bad. Oh, wow. Rudiger thinks that's funny. Oh, yeah, he was like. For sure. He's like, yeah. This is, I mean, yes. Yeah. Marino has the actual like pedigree and the history, especially at the club, too,

to be like, come back in and people were like, oh, shit, all right. Is it going to be weird with, um, is it going to be weird with, um, Vincius after what he said about the, like he gave Vincius. Oh, my God. Yeah. For celebrating a racially abused. That's going to be an awkward. That's going to be an awkward first day.

So about that. Hey. I'm like a W.W.E. Baddy. I was just, I was just playing a part, buddy. You know I love that. I love when you dance. Bro, you know I'm not racist. Okay.

Think about all the African players that say I'm their daddy. He comes into the first. He just brings in just five black guys who he's made. Hey, guys. Are they your coaching stuff? Are they your coaching? Team star? What's up, Benicia?

He daps him out when he sees him as well. You good, bro? All right. All right. You're all right? Yeah, y'all. Yeah, these are my boys, bro. They're my boys.

Are they coached? Nah, we just ride. We ride. We ride together. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. We just fuck around. Oh, is it on each other?

Oh, I didn't even, I even notice this color. That's just who I normally. Are they black? I just normally hang out on them. Shit, sometimes I'm like, I'm not black. Deontre, you're black. That's crazy. How come you didn't tell me?

That's crazy, bro. And that's why I fuck with y'all, because it's just love. You know what I mean? Anyway, with DCS, man, you gotta knock off all that dancing shit, man. SIG of that, bro. Sick of that. SIG of that shit. You know what I mean?

You look like a fool out there. Right, boys? They agree. So not racist. Not racist. Did I agree with you admittedly? Did I just pay five black guys to nod to things I say? No, no, no, no.

I'd be troubling in a different way. I didn't do that. Man, don't worry about. They're not wearing hospital bracelets. That's that new shit. It's that YN shit. Río goes to a halfway house and gets some cover in or to talk to Vinny. Like, Vinisa's like, hey, you're one guy's ankle pager is going on.

Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah, yeah. He's straight too far away from the crib. fucking Jose dude they have the defenders for a Marineo don't he like to play defense yeah

what the fuck is Madrid up too yeah he's gonna Trent is gone mate Trent is up oh my God yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah is gonna Trent's like oh no what have I done no I'm sure he'll happy to be out of that

situation man yeah that feels like a one or two season gig for him you know for Trent He seemed to get back back in favor there. I mean, I just think he's such a fun player, but it's not a Marineo right back.

No, no, no, no. And then he gets rid of him, and then Vinci's, oh, yeah, why are you getting rid of that guy? And he's like, no, it's just, it's an attacking, defending thing. But I get rid of my guy, Trent. Come on, V.

That calls him V. V's. Man, the fuck I look like doing some shit like that, V. Come on, man. Stop playing, bro. But yeah, he don't play hard enough. He's lazy. You know what I mean?

He's just relying on all his natural ability. You know what I mean? Whoa. He's not getting stuck in like my man Federico. Yeah. You know what I mean? Who is leaving? Who is leaving?

Huh? Carvaha. He's leaving. That makes sense. He announced it off the 20, 23 years. Yeah. Yeah. You see, how old is he?

Man. He almost died. It's time to go. Mm-hmm. Come on over to MLS, man. Come on over to LMS, man. Have a good time. Caps 34.

Yeah, man. It's prime MLS aid. Yeah, it's true. He's the youngest player in the MLS from abroad. This guy's a spring chicken. We have a spry rookie from Spain. This guy only needs three eyes baths a day. He's on the field.

He's young. He's young in the MLS. Have you seen those clips of Louis Suarez still out there? It's so hard to watch. It's like watching Lindsey Vaughn's ski. Yes. They both need to just lay his knees down. Yeah.

He's got no knees left. He's got no knees. Oh my God. And he's running in a way that's so concerning. I was like, does he have gambling debt or something? Definitely. Like, why is he still out here? Alamoly, big alimony is what I thought.

He's got to pay some lawsuits for people who's body parts. He's been nibbling in the spare time. You buy eight guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. Dude.

You can hear the head run. The head goes to the head down running. Ah. Oh my God. He didn't even get in. God, damn. That's what I look like at the Y. No, that's what is.

He bit someone in America and he's being sued for $400 billion. So he has to pay off the debt. You poured a hot coffee on a lady. They're like, I don't have money. They're like, no, I just want to see you run, bro. Just keep doing that, bro. That's all I want to see. I just want to see the physical pain you're in running.

I hope he still loves the game. He must do. That's what I'm saying. How old is he now? He must be 40-odd, right? I'm going to say, he's literally the same age as me. He's 38 years old. 9.

Wow. He can't be 40. He's 39. Yeah. No, with 39. Just turned 39 this year, so we'll give him that. Oh, man. Louis, I get it, man.

I get it. No, he's 40 and one. He's 40 and one. We're not, stop trying to burn from 4 million. Yeah, yeah. 40 million plus one pound. God, we really thought we fucking hacked the dollar menu with that one. And then Liverpool went, that's not on his contract.

And it was. Yeah, yeah. They're just lying and no one checks. You're like, all right, everything, everything's, no, everyone's just guessing what they're doing. Well, what the fuck happened? They're sweating in Liverpool. They're like, holy shit, they fucking did. It's technically it.

All right. Well, that's going to do it for us this week. We'll be back next week. Oh, my God. And at that point, we will know. We will have to. Who has won the Premier League? Yeah.

We might know. We might know by the time this podcast is listened to us. Yeah. In which case, we may have to have an emergency just screaming. screaming over Zoom episode. But I don't know. It is what it is. We'll see what happens.

Day by day. We'll know. Once the Premier League's over, we'll be one step closer to knowing who's won the league. Guys, that's a fact. And then it's Champions League. It's called a Navasus.

And then it's the World Cup. And then it's a World Cup. I don't want to get into it, but I can feel it. Precious. That's the World Cup. Precious. I'm like, fuck all that shit.

Belgium a ride. Yeah. It's just like calling me like... Because you're like watching it. It's always the naughtiest. It's like I should be doing some work right now. It's like fucking 1 PM on a Thursday. Oh yeah.

You're drunk. You're fully immersed. Yeah, exactly. Because you've somehow fallen in love with... Yeah, I'm with a group of Swedes. You watch ice drag out half the stadium. You're like, but still... Watch look at the fields.

But the players... It should have been a penalty. The players are still there, right? Yeah. Oh, God. What the... Fuck. Yeah.

It's getting, I mean, it's crazy. And the tickets are about to, they just keep going down. They keep on down. Come on down. Yeah. Come on down. Come on down, baby. Come down to a reasonable amount.

And then maybe we can talk. It reminds me of when some scalpers bought tickets to my show thinking I was in Coldplay. And the ticket prices were listed at $150. And then day of the gig, they were $8. Oh, I love that. That's good. I'm hoping somebody bought one of those tickets. 20 people.

It was sold out the show and 20 people were there when I went, did the show. I thought I'd sold out, and then I found out that scalpers just thought it was a guy from Goldberg. There's a bunch of people around. Like, wait, it's not the guy from golf? There's not the guy from golf. Oh, listen, thank you for your efforts. No refunds policy. I still got my bag.

There you go. Plugs? I'm in D.C. End of the month, 28, 29 of May. I think I'm taking my son a solo with me on a plane to the place due to child care issues, so that's going to be. I'm going to be so tired on stage. But come down.

A. Chrismartin. Okay. Bring him a Red Bull. I'm going to be in D.C. right after him. Oh, D.C. Through the 7th man, at the improv in the lounge.

Okay. And, uh, whatever else. A union hall? Look out for Chris. Because he'll be there, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, so, yeah, oh, and follow my new Instagram at Disney Gooners. Yeah. Fantastic content.

But then it's exactly what you think it would be. It's, it is literally that. It's exactly what you think. Uh, all right, that's going to do it. We'll be back next week for the thrilling fucking conclusion of the Barclays premiering Jesus Christ, and maybe this goddamn show.

Arsenal fuck this up, man. Don't fucking Bye. I'm sorry. Don't worry. Bye. Bye. Hey guys, it's us. The Jonas Brothers. I'm Joe. I'm Kevin. And I'm Nick. And guess what? We created our own podcast called, Hey Jonas. We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't

invent it. We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it. But, you know, Tired and sick. Tired and sick. Listen to Hey Jonas on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it. Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier.

This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel. Help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal but encouraged.

It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Winning on Clay is an art. The rallies are relentless, and at the French Open, only the toughest survive. I'd know. I competed there for decades. Join me, Renee Stubbs, on the Renee Stubbs' tennis podcast for no-nonsense breakdowns of the biggest matches, the toughest players, and the moments that define Roland Garris.

She's an outsider to win the French fame. and she likes Clay. Listen, Lennar Rabakina is arguably the best player in the world right now and I actually can win on any surface. Listen to the Renee Stubbs tennis podcast on the IHeart Radio app. Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports. This is an IHeart podcast.

Guaranteed human.