The Daily Zeitgeist - cOhEN iS A LiAr tHo!!! Got Beer? 2.28.19

Episode Date: February 28, 2019

In episode 338, Jack and Miles are joined by comedian Jason Burke and our local counsel Lauren Manso to discuss a man tea bagging some salsa, Representative Matt Gaetz's thoughts on Michael Cohen, Cohen's testimony, Trump's banning some journalists from his meeting with Kim Jong Un, a directors cut of A Star Is Born coming to theaters, beer becoming less popular, and more! FOOTNOTES:1. Area man teabags salsa2. Question: "Congressman, does your tweet amount to witness tampering?:"3. Rep. Matt Gaetz Repeats Cohen Threat on House Floor: ‘Does He Lie to His Own Family?’4. Michael Cohen's most fiery accusations against Trump5. White House Bars 4 U.S. Journalists From Trump’s Dinner With Kim in Hanoi6. A Star Is Born Extended Cut Coming to Theaters So We Can All Take Another Look7. "Drink more beer" campaign from big brewers probably not happening8. WATCH: Anika - I Go To Sleep Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th 2017 was assassinated. Crooks Everywhere unearthed the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. a lot to figure out when you're just starting your career. That's where we come in. Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in people who do, like negotiation expert Maury Tahiripour. If you start thinking about negotiations as just a conversation, then I think it sort of eases us a little bit. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Kay hasn't heard from her sister in seven years. I have a proposal for you. Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do. What was that? That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. Can Kay trust her sister or is history repeating itself? There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing.

They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm. They're just dreams. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

New episodes every Thursday. Hello, the internet, and welcome to Season 71, Episode 4 of The Daily Zeitgeist! The podcast where we take a deep dive into America's shared consciousness. It's Thursday, February 28th, 2019. My name is Jack O'Brien, a.k.a. There is a house in New Orleans They call Jack O'Brien.

Courtesy of Hannah Soldis, and I'm thrilled to be joined, as always, by my co-host, Mr. Miles Gray! If I go crazy, then will you still call me Guna Fam? If we get high as hell, will you be scared to miss Bergkamp? I'll keep you by zeitgeist with my dupe consuming might. I'm lit tonight. Woo! Hoo! Hoo!

Hoo! Hoo! And that's the AK just for me with all those Arsenal references. Thank you so much, Trey Gang at JustTDZAKs for that one, Three Doors Down. Crypto Knight. Those were Arsenal references? Well, I said, I'm a gooner. You know, I'm a gooner

you know what i mean talking about uh dennis bergkamp fucking iceman yeah of course of course oh you know about the flying dutchman yeah the non-flying dutchman he was like john madden lift shrimp no but he actually dennis bergkamp wouldn't fly on planes so whenever we had the non-flying yeah whenever we had games in europe if you couldn't get there by rail he wasn't going all right well we're thrilled to be joined in our third seat by the hilarious comedian jason burt Whenever we had games in Europe, if you couldn't get there by rail, he wasn't going. All right. Well, we're thrilled to be joined in our third seat by the hilarious comedian Jason Burt. Hi, guys. What's up, man?

Welcome. Thank you. Welcome. First time guest. First time, long time. First time, long time. Come straight from New York, huh? Right from New York.

Just to be here. For today, I'm out this afternoon. That's wild, man. Shout out to your, I guess, great frequent flyer miles? Yeah. Back-to-back red eyes, racking them up. Amazing. So you're about to move out here?

Maybe. About to move out here, yeah. Tired of New York? Tired of New York. 14 years have worn me down. Wow. That will do it. Yeah. I guess because I've never lived there,

I enjoy it in week-long to 10-day-long things at most. It's great. That's what I look forward to going back for that. Right, right, right. I mean, it's even to the point where we have an amazing apartment, we have a front yard and a driveway and I'm even sick of that shit.

Where do you live? Brooklyn. Okay. Yeah. Wow. Front yard. Look at you. I know.

I realized, so I lived in New York for like, I think six, seven years. And then I came out here and like three years later, I was already too slow for New York for like I think six seven years and then I came out here and like three years later I was already too slow for New York like I went into a bagel shop in Brooklyn and they were like come on man hurry up I was like I guess I'll have the salt everything do you have salt on your everything they were like Jesus Christ can I get locks on the cinnamon raisin What? I was just like too indecisive You're that guy? Yeah I love watching bagel shop people get so mad

If you ask to toast And it's like a really staunch non-toasting bagel shop Right They'll send you right out of there Yeah, yeah Oh, really? Just be like, get the fuck out They were not having my bullshit

So I'm just saying, man Watch out, you might lose your edge You might not be up to the bagel shop He's ready I'm ready to soften these corners That order. You might lose your edge. I'm okay. You might not be up to the bagel shop. He's ready. I'm ready to soften these corners. That order is preloaded. What's your order? I don't do bagels.

Oh, wow. Wow. I did for the first half of my New York life. It's just, they make you feel awful. I mean, eating a full-on bagel, like loaded the fuck up, that will last you to at least 5 p.m. It's not really bread. It's like between bread and pasta. It's like the denseness of the dough.

Either way, I like it. It's a good way to do it. Shout out to Russ and Daughter's whitefish salad. Yeah. Woo! I am a everything bagel man with jalapeno cream cheese. Yeah. Okay.

That was also my go-to. I like to punish myself in the morning. Yeah. All right. We're going to get to know you a little bit better in a moment. First, we're going to tell our listeners a few of the things we're talking about today. We're going to start off with the important news of a man in Tennessee dipping his balls in some salsa. Then we're going to move on to stuff happening in Washington.

Mr. Michael Cohen. There's a lot going on, yeah. On Congress. Yeah, a lot of shit going on. And that's mainly what we're going to be talking about today. If we have time, we'll talk about whether the Trump emergency is killing our environment and a new cut of A Star is Born that might be coming our way. Yeah, it is. Not might. Don't fuck around. It's coming. Right. Might be coming my way in the sense that I might line up for its release. Good for you.

Jason, first we'd like to ask our guest, what is something from your search history that's revealing about who you are? Recently I googled an unboxing influencer was the release. Oh, man. Wow. Just checking all those millennial Gen Z boxes? Yeah. It was for a job, it was like technically research okay i did not enjoy the search was like writing for a unboxer yeah like i needed to know who they were because i needed to write an idea that included

one right and then you watch a couple you're like fuck you man yeah right 17 minutes to open a box of headphones yeah yeah that's my the shit i hate because i've i like unboxing videos to a certain extent i like to see the someone being like yo so this is the shit you're about to buy yeah i like that but when they go okay so the outside is a real glossy paper and like and then the print is matte okay so that's really sleek now let's open the lid now now how's one of those tabs that goes in the slot. So you're not just going to rip this thing open. And it's like, yo, just fucking tell me about the headphones, bro.

I don't need to put the dust bag and all that other shit. Although I do wonder if they've made it easier to open packages. Because you rarely run into those packages that are like the blister packs that are just impossible to open anymore. I wonder if that is the influence of the unboxer. Well, they typically stick to expensive shit that's in a box. That's not going to come in a blister pack. Right, that's true. Okay. That's just layers of perfect packaging.

Yeah. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I guess it's a wish fulfillment for somebody watching. If you know you're not going to get that thing, you can just experience that moment. I didn't even think about that. Yeah, but that is also pathetic.

Yeah. Or just, you know, like, pathetic yeah yeah or just you know like look some people you know if you can't afford it uh just get work harder as the republicans would say i mean you could think about our show as an unboxing of the news wow in some ways which i wouldn't recommend i want to see the physical manifestation of this show the unboxing the physical manifestation of this show. The unboxing. The unboxing. The physical manifestation of this show. It's really interesting what the mainstream media has wrapped today's news in. The headlines about Michael Cohen. We're just opening up. Oh, interesting.

This first layer. Oh, look what Drudge has done here. Is a piece of shit with a mouth on it. What is something you think is underrated? Semi-sweet morsels. Okay. Okay. What is a semi-sweet morsels. Okay. Okay. What is a semi-sweet morsel?

Well, you probably only know them as what is in most cookies. Nestle's Toll House morsels. Semi-sweet morsels. I actually do know. I'm lying. Huge fan of it as a snack. It's very versatile. I'll just get a four-pound bag from Costco and then just throw down handfuls of it that

I'll generally chase with Costco almond butter. Also underrated. You are a... Do you ever do this shit? I used to do this where you just take a spoon and then you dip it in the bag and let the shits attach to the almond butter and then eat that spoon. Or I'll just put the handful in

the peanut butter just so I don't have to ruin the whole bag for other people in the household. Almost like the blood sport like hand yes into the shredded glass but technically i think that was kickboxer oh my bad yeah yeah uh but one of those almond butter and semi-sweet morsels morsels is a fun word it is yeah why don't they call them chocolate chips did someone brand that yeah i don't know. Semi-sweet morsels. Oh, I love a morsel.

I love a morsel. Wait, how come you're not... So do you like cookies? I love cookies. But you just do the... You hack straight to the point. You're there for the chips. Yeah, if I don't have the patience to make the cookie, then I just want the chips.

Okay. But then if we make the cookies, I'll only cook half the batter so I can eat the dough at my... Yeah. Fuck what the FDA says. I'm like, don't eat raw cookie dough, guys. Right. Well, I'm still here.

That's a good myth. I'm still here. I may walk a little funny, but I'm still here. My cyanic might act up if I eat too much cookie dough. Get a little raw egg in me. There's going to be a short documentary film about you in the Oscars next year. I'm still here. I'm still here. After eating cookie dough all my life. I'm a survivor.

It's called, yeah, Against All Odds. I'm still here. Miles Erie story. Pounds of cookie dough consumed. My mom pleading with me. You can't eat a raw egg. Yeah, oh mom, watch this. What is that? That's what I'd say in Japanese which means shut up. Although my mom

would smack me though, so never mind. Right. My mom makes amazing. Oh, yes. This is the my mom portion of the episode. My mom makes really good chocolate chip cookies, very cakey, very delicious, and always with the semi-sweet morsels. Never the full chocolate, the full sugar, just always semi-sweet morsels.

They taste better when they're cooked. Yeah, for some reason. Actually, I never really even bothered to think about the difference between one that has semi-sweet and full-blown sugar bomb. They're not as good. Huh. You need that bitterness.

Yeah, just to bounce it out. Yeah, right, right, right. And finally, what is something you think is overrated? People who rename rescue dogs. Okay. Oh, shit. I hate that shit. Wow, you're talking to a few people in here.

I mean, I'm a dog owner. Right. I mean, I... Did you rename your rescue? She didn't... I mean, she didn't have a name when I got her. But if you adopt like a... Oh, so you did rename it.

From nothing to something. Right. Yes. For sure. You could have just been like, come here. I respected what she was given. Right. Oh, my God. Yes. For sure. You could have just been like, come here. I respected what she was given by God. Nothing. But people, you adopt like a three or four-year-old dog named Charlie, and now it's Sebastian.

Go fuck yourself. Yeah. Oh, I see what you're saying. Oh, right. Sure, sure. Yeah. Because I was going to say, Anna has a dog, a puppy right now is tormenting your partner that was named one thing.

And actually, what you did, Anna, was just add the name you wanted to the end of its adoptive name. Beautiful. Yeah. Okay. So wait. So it would be like calling him like Kunta Kinte Toby. Okay.

You know what I mean? Right. Original name Ace, but you want to call it Biscuits, Ace Biscuits. Oh, I got it. So Ace is its original name. Yeah. And Biscuits is its adoptive name. I changed my dog's name from Riley because I just could not

see myself as a person who had a dog named Riley. Oh Riley. Well you know what? In my defense, dog was like a year old. Okay. But whatever. I'll let that slide. Whatever. Fuck it. I'm a piece of shit. Right. I'll own it. If Michael Cohen's out here owning his mistakes, I'll own mine. Yeah. Yes I selfishly renamed

my dog. Well what is its name now? Rimby. And it sounds the same though. Ily renamed my dog. Well, what is its name now? Rimby. And it sounds the same, though. I mean, get the R. And E. Well, because my girlfriend, Her Majesty, she was like, yo, I want to get this dog. I'm like, well, what's the name? And she's like, Riley. I'm like, that ain't happening.

Right. I'm not going to be out there and be like, Riley. Yeah. Riley. And so I said Rimby. I just came up with it on the spot as Rimby, and we just rocked with it. Now, where do you come down on when you adopt a child who's like seven? Do you change their name to something cuter?

That's hilarious. Because that's more important, is how cute a kid's name is. Jack has a beautiful new son from Singapore named Boombox, is what you call him? Pretty chill. Super chill. pretty chill super chill and Miles

you like to talk about this but can you clarify for everyone who rescued who? in a way not in a way no in actuality

he rescued me oh that's so interesting from from myself yeah okay wow selfishness yeah he got me to stop smoking once for about a day because he ate all the guts because he ate all of them and made him sick exactly yeah uh

jason finally what is a myth i know i said finally before i was misleading you were i wanted to see if you could deal with it and you did wow robert muller over here what is a myth what's something people think is true that you know to be false? Lately, the one that bothers me the most are a tourist perception of magical New York moments. Ah, right. Okay, so for our listeners who might not know about the magic of a New York moment,

what is the tourist's idea of what a magical New York moment is? Well, they think they're going to come to New York and have this, like, unforgettable experience where they hail a cab, and in that cab is Jimmy Fallon, and then he gets out, and then they both laugh, and they get a hot dog, and they see Fiddler on the Roof together.

Like something. So the main things are cab, celebrity, hot dog, Broadway, Times Square. Yes. Boom. Pizza. Yeah. And in actuality, it's more like getting hit by a cab, celebrity, hot dog, Broadway, Times Square. Yes. Boom. Pizza. Yeah. And in actuality, it's more like getting hit by a cab. I can give you a couple examples of what a real New Yorker.

Last winter, I was walking by St. Patrick's Cathedral, a very famous church in the winter. Snow was falling. It was very beautiful. I stopped and kind of looked at it. It's like that Bob Dylan cover. It was. Yeah. Yeah. Until snow's falling. It was very beautiful. I stopped and kind of looked at it. It's like that Bob Dylan cover. It was. Yeah.

Yeah. Until snow's falling. There's like one spotlight kind of coming down. And I kind of followed and I looked down. And there's a homeless man jerking off with a giant shiny penis. Oh, wow. On the steps of one of the most famous churches in New York City. Wow.

Shiny. It was glistening. In a way, that is magic, though. Right, that is. Let's not ignore the miracles around us. Because that takes some cleaning. I mean, to be that erect and shiny in 20-degree weather, I guess, is magic.

Yeah. Now I'm back to that right there. Yeah. No, I don't mean to shit on that, but I think, personally, for me, that's magic. Glistening, shimmering. I mean, I that's magic right glistening shimmering i mean i can't take the glistening out of my mind like it is very no it's very clear to me that that has uh ruined you as a man no because the specificity of the of the shininess is uh

wow that's that's tough so i've stayed till he finished. You know what I'm saying? Of course. And then you guys both went out for a slice. Yeah. Extra hot. But I think, you know, one of the moments I had, or not like it's a magic moment, but like a vivid New York moment for me is like being in Chinatown in the summer and just getting fucking splashed with curb water, like getting too close to that curb. Like we're all like, local people were like, this asshole's about to get it. Right.

Yeah. And I'm like there like- Garbage juice. I was like on my phone and I knew like just, I'm not unaware of the risk of being near a corner puddle. Right. But I was just sort of like on my phone and I was really just like, I was about to meet up with my friend who lives in the city that I hadn't seen in years.

So I was like, oh yeah, blah, blah, blah. Next thing I know, whoosh. Yeah. Just fucked. Yes. Completely just like, I don't know what years. So I was like, oh yeah, blah, blah, blah. Next thing I know, just fucked. Completely just like, I don't know what the fuck was in that water. No one does, really. But it's everything.

And luckily I just bought like a shirt at like a new place. So I just undressed right there on that corner and put the new shirt on. And people were like, one guy was like, oh, it's almost like you knew, huh? And I was like,

yeah, fuck you, man. But I was like, hey, fuck you, man. But I was like, hey, New York, bro. Love it. Was it, like, had it just rained? No. Yeah, that's the worst. I think it was leaking dumpsters. It was garbage juice. Because it was sour.

Alright, well. I'm sorry that happened to you, Miles. It's fine. I made it out. I just walk a little funny now. Jason, I'm kind'm sorry that happened to you, Miles. That's fine. I made it out. I just walk a little funny now, but it's all good. Jason, I'm kind of sorry that happened to you, but also I'm a little jealous. Let's recognize the magic moments. Nobody ever jerked off in front of me in New York. I mean, it took me 13 years to see you.

Then were you ever there, man? Right. I know. Does it count? Can you ever call yourself a New Yorker? All right. Let's talk about, speaking of inappropriate appearances of some dude's junk. A man in Tennessee has been arrested on the suspicion of adulteration of food liquids

or pharmaceuticals, a Class C felony. Yeah. I did not. When I saw that, what adulteration of, I'm like, oh, okay, well, what's going on? So what does that mean? Well, this guy was cruising around with his homie who was driving around for like a DoorDash type service in Tennessee. You know, like his friend was the one driving and he was in the passenger seat. And, you know, they noticed that like sometimes you could pre-tip and they noticed the tip was looking a little light.

Okay. Fucking 89 cents. Okay? Oh. Is that what it was? Yeah. So that's true. Just don't do the tip then.

Yeah. Wow. So here's the thing. But you know, that's what I'm saying. This guy did what any fucking reasonable person would. You dunk your balls in their salsa, then post the video to Facebook. Oh, there's your problem. Yeah.

All right. So in the local Tennessee news outlet, they say, quote, Webb produced a video showing Webb, this is the suspect, placing his testicles in a salsa container. And the driver is heard laughing and stating, this is what you get when you give an 89 cent tip for an almost 30 minute drive. Webb is heard saying, oh, oh, it feels good. Which now leads me to believe that I should be doing this too because – or do you think he was just doing that for effect? I'm sorry, that what? That it does feel good.

That it feels good. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. If it did feel good, I mean, come on, bro. Really? Just cold liquid? Yeah. It doesn't feel great on your balls?

Yeah. Although that was like a weird masturbation hack I read on the early internet of hitting your balls with an ice pack. Hitting them? Yeah, when you're about to ejaculate because your gas reflex, you're like, and then you'd be just nutting crazy. Nutting crazy. Yeah, that was something I think it was in Cosmo that I read in the library. But anyway, I don't know.

Part of me, don't dunk your balls in people's salsa but also when you have when you're working with people or you're interacting with people who work on tips you got to realize the tips fucking matter 89 cents come on like do better to this person you don't deserve your fucking your salsa to be bald right but like that's not even like a percentage that you would pick like that's not 10, like, a percentage that you would pick. Like, that's not 10. Would they order $8.99? They must have rounded, like, the total must have been, like, 10, 11.

Yeah, right. And they just made it 12. You know what I mean? I hate that shit. Yeah. Fuck these people. I hope they ate the salsa. Yeah. I don't know, but it's funny.

I'm sure that person, right, like, didn't know until maybe someone, like, saw on Facebook, like, yo yo did you see this dude in our town dunk their balls in someone's salsa and then they're like flashing back to them eating like their burrito and they're like that's almost worth a class c felony yeah yeah well you know i see felony wow i think i think we're reading wrong it's classy oh classy felony classy felony we have a lawyer in the building what's a. Oh, classy felony. Classy felony. We have a lawyer in the building. What's a classy felony? A classy felony is a mid-level felony.

So your class A's are your murders. Okay. Man slaughters kind of thing. Class E felony would be like, you know, your grand larcenies. Okay, great. For those who didn't hear, class A is like murder, like dark shit. Class E is like larceny. What is larceny? Like stealing, you know what I mean?

Oh, okay. Like when they catch you at Hooters stealing the paper towel dowels. Okay. And they ask you to not come back or they'll press charges. It probably would have been a Class E felony. Right. If somebody had done that. If I had done that during March Madness of 2007.

You know what this reminds me of? Ken Marino's character in The State. Yeah. I want to dip my balls in it. One of the greats. You think they're big comedy fans? Yeah. They're like, hey, did I Ken Marino bit?

Should we do it? Deep cut. Yeah. I like that they specified web produced a video showing. That's good for all web video producers out there. Hey, guys, if your parents ever ask you what a producer does, this is it. Yeah. This is what.

But I also like the idea that it was a production. Right. And maybe someone was in the back going, all right, cut. Cut. Hold on, man. What's going on? Oh, oh, it feels so good. Right.

Like, come on, man. Let's give me something fucking real here. Right. That's a little too incriminating. You need some alt dialogue. That's R. Kelly levels of incriminating. Oh, oh, it feels good. Oh, it feels good. Oh, it feels good.

I am dunking my testicles into this customer's salsa. Right. Well, all right. Good on you, man. Way to go, Tennessee. All right. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back.

Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16, 2017, was murdered. There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate. My name is Manuel Delia. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman Wikileaks.

Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. And she paid the ultimate price. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Gianna Pardenti. And I'm Jemay Jackson-Gadsden. We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline,

a new podcast from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts. When you're just starting out in your career, you have a lot of questions, like how do I speak up when I'm feeling overwhelmed? Or, can I negotiate a higher salary if this is my first real job? Girl, yes. Each week, we answer your unfiltered work questions. Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in experts who do.

Like resume specialist Morgan Saner. The only difference between the person who doesn't know the answer, we bring in experts who do, like resume specialist Morgan Saner. The only difference between the person who doesn't get the job and the person who gets the job is usually who applies. Yeah, I think a lot about that quote. What is it like you miss 100% of the shots you never take? Yeah, rejection is scary, but it's better than you rejecting yourself. Together, we'll share what it really takes to thrive in the early years of your career without sacrificing your sanity or sleep. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been thinking about you.

I want you back in my life. It's too late for that. I have a proposal for you. Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do. One session. 24 hours. BPM 110.

120. She's terrified. Should we wake her up? Absolutely not. What was that? You didn't figure it out? I think I need to hear you say it. That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. This machine is approved and everything? You're allowed to be doing this?

We passed the review board a year ago. We're not hurting people. There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm. They're just dreams. of two assassination attempts separated by two months. These events were mirrored nearly 50 years ago when President Gerald Ford faced two attempts on his life in less than three weeks. President Gerald R. Ford came stunningly close

to being the victim of an assassin today. And these are the only two times we know of that a woman has tried to assassinate a U.S. president. One was the protege of infamous cult leader Charles Manson. I always felt like Lynette was kind of his right-hand woman. The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI in a violent revolutionary underground. Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore.

The story of one strange and violent summer. This is Rip Current. Available now with new episodes every Thursday. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. And so Michael Cohen made his way to Congress yesterday, looking a little sheepish, a little deflated, no longer telling people that what he was going to do to them would be disgusting, which I did not see this coming, this version of Michael Cohen. Really? During the election, he was such a... Sure, right. Just like such an aggressive asshole. But so ahead of his testimony, Matt Gaetz, who is Matt Gaetz, Miles?

He is a congressman from Florida who, I mean, he's just kind of a run-of-the-mill Trumpy dude. Sometimes says things that you're like, oh, did you know you just said something kind of right? But most of the time he's up Trump's ass. I mean, famously, he was like the dude who like when Ali G or when Sacha Baron Cohen was doing his like Who is America show. He's like one of the few congressmen that didn't fall for like the weird gun. Oh, that was him. Yeah.

And he was like, oh, shit, man. I knew I thought it was him. I'm a huge Ali G fan, actually. Shit, man, I knew. I thought it was him. I'm a huge Ali G fan, actually. So anyway, he got on his personal Twitter and tweeted at Michael Cohen on the eve of his testimony to Congress saying, and adding the man on Twitter, big move.

Hey, at Michael Cohen 212. Yeah. Do your wife and father-in-law know about your girlfriends? Maybe tonight would be a good time for that chat. I wonder if she'll remain faithful when you're in prison. She's about to learn a lot. Whoa. I mean, that's straight up, like, I mean, he got all Michael Cohen on Michael Cohen.

That was very, like, you know, grimy intimidation tactics. Very much so. But, I mean, that's not something you should be doing in public. No, no. On a written record. Some might say that you're trying to tamper with a witness. Right. And, you know, rightly so.

A few journalists caught him outside of his office and asked him, be like, what was that tweet about? Doesn't that amount to witness? And listen to this exchange. Congressman, does your tweet amount to witness tampering? Absolutely not. It's witness testing. When people come before the Congress with an intent to perpetuate their continuous lies,

we have an opportunity and I would say an obligation to test who those people lie to. We already know that Michael Cohen lies to Congress. We already know that he lies to law enforcement. Now we're going to find out if he also lies to the people closest to him, and I think that will tell a lot about his ability to tell the truth okay uh witness well-crafted witness testing uh i'm just like cool that's a new thing so his his line of reasoning is that he was genuinely asking him if his wife and father-in-law know about his girlfriends he was like that was because i don't know unless that's not a rhetorical question that just can't be that he's legitimately like prodding him as to how honest he is with the people in his life yeah i mean it's just like such bald-faced bullshitting right and i mean i don't know

challenging the character of a witness he was really trying to spin that from anything aside from, hey, I'm sort of like dangling this thread of maybe like outing some affair you're having. Right. Yeah. No, that is legitimately the only reasonable way to read it. But in studio, Laura, is that bad? Yes. I mean, I don't see why we should care whether he's having an affair. Boom. See, this is a great episode. We have in-studio. We're expanding the format of the show.

We have legal representation in the studio now to answer our legal questions. But yeah. And to tell us the things we shouldn't be saying. Yes, right, right. 9-11 is an inside job. Like that. Can we talk about Matt Gaetz's profile photo, too, for a second? It's got a very, like, grassy knoll shooter vibe to it.

Yeah, it's got a weird metallic-y black and white filter on it. And it's his personal one because it's not one of his official account for him as Congressperson. His bio says, Matt Gaetz, Florida man, proudly serving the first district in Congress. Quote, he's a machine, handsome, and going places, says real Donald Trump. Wow. Hashtag open gates. Wow. Open gates.

I mean, somebody clearly got in his ear and was like, my man, this is wholly fucking inappropriate. Like, this could cause you real problems. So then he, I guess, decided to go to the the House floor and double down on this because then he tried to defend, I guess, his ability or right to do this kind of bullshit. So this is him on the House floor really doubling down and puffing his chest out. Thank you, Madam Speaker. And I guess tomorrow we will find out if there is anyone that Michael Cohen hasn't lied to. We already know he lied to Congress. We already know he lied to Congress. We already know he lied to law enforcement, lied to the IRS, lied to three banks. And he's going to prison for his lies.

And so I guess it will be relevant for us to determine, like, does he lie to his own family? Does he lie to his financiers? Does he lie to his financiers who are members of his family. And it'll be one heck of an inquiry for us because this is someone who has tangled such a web of lies that he is not to be believed. And I think it is entirely appropriate for any member of this body to challenge the truthfulness and veracity and character

for the people who have a history of lying and have a future that undoubtedly contains nothing but lies. That is the story of Michael Cohen. We'll see it play out tomorrow. And I, for one, can't wait to get to the bottom of things and can't wait to get to the truth. Back to you, Ken. He delivers that like a Fox News course. What the fuck was that?

I mean, his whole vibe is very much like that. But yeah, you know, I think there's some people already in the House that are ready to refer this shit to the House Ethics Committee. But, you know he's out here i mean that seemed to be the general vibe like even in the room uh after cohen's opening statement you know they opened it up to the various representatives and all of the republicans uh appeared to be from a planet of large white-ired red faced men uh and they all just were accusing him of general dishonesty now that was there they were refusing to address you know what

he was there to testify about it was all about well you told this other lie you're going to jail for lying oh thank you mr chairman um uh mr cohen are you a liar right huh and you've lied before yeah yeah so why should we believe anything you're saying here even though the fact that you're in a plea agreement and if you fucking lied to us right now that could totally blow that up and then you really face some serious jail time why should we believe anything aside from that right or that he would have some kind of corroborating evidence which i mean again he had to be very careful today to not do the thing he did before, which was lie to Congress. And it's funny because that was the only move that the GOP had when they were questioning him was just, oh, you're such a liar, dude.

Right. And they're. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And they're pointing to a time when he was working for the president for the most part and lying on behalf of the president. And, you know, it just it seemed like they were refusing. And I don't know why the Democrats didn't specifically bring this up, but I think Cohen himself did that. What's at issue is, you know, the fact that he was lying on behalf of the president and the president is a liar. And that's what he's testifying to. But they. They tried to spin it into a guy who lied to Congress is back to Congress to lie again. Right. And that's it. There's completely divorced from the fact that he was working for Donald Trump. So his opening statement was it gave us a lot. There's a good summary on Politico of the things that we learned. We basically learned that he was in the room when Trump took a call from Roger Stone. And Roger Stone was like, just got off the phone with Julian Assange.

And bad thing, bad thing, you're implicated, basically. He was like, they're about to drop the Hillary Clinton hacked emails. So, and Trump was like, that's good. That's good. Good, great. Great. I love it. Thank you, Russia.

That he testified that Trump cheated in his finances, cheated his business partners, lied about his net worth, cheated on his taxes, and was like, look at these fucking idiots at the IRS. Give me $10 million back. A guy like me. So he's just like openly a corrupt criminal. He used threats to keep his academic record secret, which I don't think is really like this. I don't want this to be like the main takeaway that Trump is dumb and is lying about how smart he is. Because I think even, first of all, I don't think anyone believes him, that he was like smartest man in the history of the Ivy League.

But also that- What a claim. Right. Jeez. I was voted smartest guy ever in any Ivy League school ever. So you can't find that anywhere though. You know, this is like the Democrats attacked Bush on being dumb. And I think that ended up being a thing that was important to the Democrats and not Bush's supporters.

Right. I hope that is not like a new tack that they take. At the same time, it is pretty hilarious that he basically threatened his own high schools, colleges and the college board to never release his grades or SAT scores. And then just a bunch of racist shit that he said. Yeah. Well, yeah, like that black people were too dumb to vote for him. Right. And shit like that.

My favorite was- Wait, is this recorded? Is what you're saying? No, I don't think he has a recording of that. That is more like anecdotal. Gotcha. I thought you were just realizing that this was a podcast. You're like, wait, people listen to this shit?

Well, I thought we were just talking with headphones on. Oh, my God. We could hear each other better. Fuck. No, I mean, that was anecdotal, and I think that's why it's even more hilarious when motherfucking Mark Meadows, who was repeatedly throwing temper tantrums

throughout the testimony. About legal documents that Michael Cohen understood better than him, which was not a great look. Kind of not a great look. But he was like, oh, you say the president's racist, huh? He's like, well, look at this. A black woman who works for Trump. He's like, you know this woman, right? Lynn Patton.

And then Michael Cohen was like, yeah, I helped her get a job at Trump Tower. And they're like, well, she's here to defend the president. And she's a black woman who says he's not racist. Therefore, he is not racist. Michael Cohen claps back at me and goes, well, hold on. He goes, ask Lynn how many black executives work for Trump. And he's like, Mark Meadows is like, that's not relevant. This black woman said he's not racist.

And you know how we work in the GOP. If a black person is saying this racist person is not racist, then they're not racist. The diamond and silk defense. They also used the logic that they've talked to him many times and he hasn't been racist in those conversations. So therefore, he can't be racist. Racists are racist 24- 24 seven every conversation they have. Yeah. So,

yeah. And they use the same logic for one of Cohen's other claims that Trump never intended to win the presidency and that he referred to it as a one long infomercial for the Trump brand behind the scenes. But there was a representative from Wisconsin. I think it was like he came to Wisconsin. He never said that to me. Right. So. Why would that fucking.

Well, the thing is, it's like statements like that. So many people will take it as fact. Oh, I know. He's right. Right. He said that. So we definitely didn't say it. So I'll just vote for him again.

You know, it's like. Yeah. It's just giving people who already have their mind made up something to cling to. Yeah. Well, it was funny because each round where the Democrats handed over their time for Republicans to ask questions, it was like, who could prove they were the bigger defender of Trump? Right. Someone would be like, oh, I don't even know why we're here. You're such a liar and lying about the president who I love.

Okay. And he never said racist stuff to me. So like, and it was was just it was really kind of frustrating to see again because their only sort of rhetorical strategy was just to be like oh you lied so why should we believe anything and it was never actually trying to like pick apart the allegations michael cohen making ever there was no cross-examining of like anything he was saying and it was funny because there were even pundits like on cnn who were like also getting frustrated with republicans are like dude you guys are fucking this up epically by just being like oh he's a liar all right i yield my time to mark

meadows who's now just gonna scream a bunch granted the democrats were not always on point the first person besides the chairman who like gave the opening statement yeah elijah cummings yeah it was debbie wasserman schultz and she it was just wasted questions it was sort of like i think she was just wasted oh it may have been wasted she's like hey dude you know i was ahead of the dnc when the fucking emails came out right bro so let's let's fucking good dog i'm fucking here bro that was essentially the substance it was sort of like just calling out in the beginning of just sort of this like i was there how dare you which yeah for sure i get it that was uh an airing out of uh the dirty laundry but like that's not again

we're here to actually hear shit like testimony on wax that michael cohen is out here saying like yeah i'm implicating the president these other other crimes. Right. And I'm telling you the straight up truth under oath right now. One of the few things that has seemed to puncture Trump's approval ratings and his appeal to the Trump base is his relationship to the military. And that was one thing that Cohen talked about because Trump was asked during the campaign when Cohen was working for him for medical records of the surgery he got for his bone spurs that made it so he couldn't go to Vietnam. And Cohen specifically said that Trump said to him, you think I'm stupid? I wasn't going to Vietnam, but there was no surgery.

So he was just basically owning. You think I'm stupid? Yeah. You think I'm built for that shit but then also talking shit about uh john mccain for getting captured yeah well i mean now he's in vietnam so he can finally see what it's like that's true full circle for him yeah he's gonna take another l but i mean again i think it would have been great though for michael cohen to just sort of like level with the american people of like when they talk about him being a lawyer

where he could just be like look let me tell you how this shit works. Right. Criminals need greasy motherfucking lawyers like me, like the shit I was doing to fucking skirt laws and use attorney client privilege to do weird dark shit. And I can use my command of the legal system to just exploit it for my client's gain, my client's benefit. Yeah. And there was, he was trying to act as if like at one point he was a good attorney.

Right. Like, let's be real. You're just one of these, you're like- You gotta put that behind you now. Yeah. You're a Saul Goodman, Breaking Bad type dude where you're just like, I'm, you know, like this kind of character, this not character, but someone who is willing to, you know, I'm an unscrupulous lawyer who is willing to fuck around. Yeah, there were a couple points where Cohen's pride got in the way of him being a good witness.

Like, he was like, I did bad things. I'm not a bad man. And I was like, no, you're kind of a bad guy. You're a fucked up dude. Yeah, you threaten to do disgusting things to a journalist. Look at your suit. You're an awful man. You're like Rodney Dangerfield at Caddyshack.

Right. But who? One of my favorite people of all time. Of course. Not to're like Rodney Dangerfield at Caddyshack. Right. But who? One of my favorite people of all time. Of course. Not to the spirit of Rodney Dangerfield. I love him. But yeah, I mean, like, it seemed like they could have just said, so yes, I told lies for a living.

And we're here because one of the lies I told, if I hadn't told it, the president wouldn't be the president right and that's what we're here about stop right so because everyone goes like me oh well but you lied to the irs that wasn't to defend the president right yeah i'm a shitty dude i'm sorry bro like this is how this is how we get down right this is the the world the subculture i'm involved in like by any means necessary, grifting. Yeah. And like all the things that they accused him of were things that he has experience with the president doing himself.

So it's just like... I don't know. It's very convenient for them to just sort of focus on that and not realize any of this is being done in service of the president, like to obscure their crimes. Because if you just logically played it out, if someone goes, okay, so you lied on behalf of the president, like to obscure their crimes. Because if you just logically played it

out, if someone goes, okay, so you lied on behalf of the president, right? Because what if what would happen if you didn't lie? Right. Oh, then they would know about the crimes we did. Right. Ah, like, just just like drag it out easy for people. Yeah, I think it's like really simple stuff. But I think everyone likes to grandstand. And there was a lot of that. Yeah. But I mean, this is this does seem to have traction on the right. Drudge reports top headline. I was waiting for it to be about like Hanawire, you know, the Vietnamese summit on Trump and it has the check signed by Trump being displayed and all those things that it's tough to ignore. I thought the right was going to find a way to ignore it still, and I'm sure they'll find a way to move it off the top of their mind soon enough, but it still seems like it's a fairly... A lot of people are comparing this to Dean Nixon's lawyer.

Kind of. He was the first person who testified in front of Congress. And that was kind of a sea change where public opinion was suddenly like, oh, Watergate might be like a thing. Right. This might be really bad. And I think a lot of people remember it as being like the first domino that just led to the downfall of Nixon. But it actually came 13 months before Nixon ultimately resigned. So it wasn't like an immediately devastating thing. It's just it's a turning point between when people were like, ah, this will go away. Watergate was already a story before the election and he still won the landslide. So people are just like, ah, this is not a big deal.

And then Dean testified and people started thinking about this. The news started taking it more seriously. And also a point that the New Yorker was making in their coverage of this testimony, just comparing Dean's testimony to Cohen's was that the key piece of information that came out of the Dean hearing was not fully appreciated at the time. Like offhandedly, he mentioned that he always suspected Nixon was recording him.

And they were like, well, that's weird. And he was like, yeah, I don't know why he would have been doing that, but that's just the feeling you got. Cause he would be always be like, we'll check the tapes. And then- He would say that? Yeah, yeah. He would just say would be always be like, we'll check the tapes. And then he would say that.

Yeah. Yeah. He would just say things that would be like, well, that doesn't make sense unless you're recording. He's like, all right, well, I'll circle back to that conversation. Like how? So Dean just like put that out there as sort of a non sequitur. And that eventually led to them subpoenaing the tapes where he you can hear Nixon being

like, all right, let's do the crime, guys. So like there's all sorts of ways that these things can come back and it's it just seems like there's there's a lot of leads that uh cohen threw out there uh including he said that uh the sdny is investigating unspecified crimes involving trump that haven't been made public so there's more oh that's nothing even know about. Oh, that's nothing. That's nothing. It's because I use someone else's Netflix login. My favorite- That's what that crime is.

My favorite detail, we can all pick our favorite moments now if we want, but my favorite was when Cohen said that Donald Trump repeatedly said that Don Jr. had the worst judgment on the planet. And like that everybody who works with Donald Trump knows that he thinks of his son as a complete fucking idiot. And he was using that to justify basically him saying that there's no way he would have let Donald Trump Jr. set up that meeting in Trump Tower without involving his father. Right, right, right. So it was relevant. out involving his father right right right so it was relevant it wasn't just like random shade thrown but at the same time it's pretty funny because that has to kill yeah i think everything from mark meadows and jim jordan were just great yeah a lot of tantrums being thrown really going

nowhere uh the flippant use of a person of color to defend the president's racism was a low light for me uh mark meadows repeatedly slamming papers down with his time yeah he was really mad oh man yeah i mean it was just a a big big show yeah a lot of a lot of tea being spilt yeah and on the racism thing there it wasn't just him saying uh you, they're too stupid to vote for me. He also, Cohen was in a car with him where they were driving through a struggling neighborhood in Chicago. And he said that only black people could live that way. So, yeah. Wow.

Delicious racism from the president. And one thing that was interesting was Michael Cohen was to the Republicans was like, I did the same thing you're doing now. Yeah. Think about that. Think about that. Because someone asked, it's like, did you ever have you ever known the president to threaten someone? And he was like, no, because other people would do it for him. Right.

And they're like, what? Like, have you? And he's like, yeah. How many times? He's like a lot. Fifty more. A hundred more. Two hundred more. Shit. yeah how many times she's like a lot 50 more 100 more 200 more shit but then he was saying like you know it was my job that's what i did for exactly and he mentions the fact that when people get

around the president you know there's like this loyalty they feel to him because it has this like you know organized crime kind of gang feel to it like hold hold the og down that he was saying like he doesn't have to because people around him will do that without just, they just know they have to do that. And he's like, and he's like, and you see it now. It's like with Matt Gaetz tweeting shit like that, or Jim Jordan and Mark Meadows doing the same shit, doing the president's work to try and be like, let's just try and make this guy look like a liar. And that's, that's all we got.

Yeah. He also made a, made reference to Trump's use of the phrase rat. He was like, I mean, that's, he's a gangster, right? Like, that's what gangsters say. Calling somebody a rat. Yeah, he's a diet gangster. He's a white collar gangster. Well, he was involved with the mob when he built Trump Tower. That's how he got all, like, the concrete.

Right, right. He fantasizes about that lifestyle for sure. Right. And that's what we call a magical New York moment. Yeah, that's right we call a magical New York moment. That's right. All right, we're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017 was murdered.

There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate. My name is Manuel Delia. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman Wikileaks. Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. And she paid the ultimate price. Listen to Crooks everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Gianna Pradenti.

And I'm Jemay Jackson-Gadsden. We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline, a new podcast from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts. When you're just starting out in your career, you have a lot of questions. Like, how do I speak up when I'm feeling overwhelmed? Or, can I negotiate a higher salary if this is my first real job? Girl, yes. Each week, we answer your unfiltered work questions. Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in experts who do, like resume specialist Morgan Santer. The only difference

between the person who doesn't get the job and the person who gets the job is usually who applies. Yeah, I think a lot about that quote. What is it like you miss 100% of the shots you never take? Yeah, rejection is scary, but it's better than you rejecting yourself. Together, we'll share what it really takes to thrive in the early years of your career without sacrificing your sanity or sleep. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been thinking about you. I want you back in my life. It's too late for that. I have a proposal for you. Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do. One session, 24 hours.

BPM 110, 120. She's terrified. Should we wake her up? Absolutely not. What was that? You didn't figure it out? I think I need to hear you say it. That was live audio of a woman's nightmare.

This machine is approved and everything? You're allowed to be doing this? We passed the review board a year ago. We're not hurting people. There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm.

Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This summer, the nation watched as the Republican nominee for president was the target of two assassination attempts, separated by two months. These events were mirrored nearly 50 years ago, when President Gerald Ford faced two attempts on his life in less than three weeks. President Gerald R. Ford came stunningly close to being the victim of an assassin today. And these are the only two times we know of that a woman has tried to assassinate a U.S. president. One was the protege of infamous cult leader Charles Manson.

I always felt like Lynette was kind of his right-hand woman. The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI in a violent revolutionary underground. Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore. The story of one strange and violent summer. This is Rip Current, available now with new episodes every Thursday. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. And meanwhile, in Vietnam.

Yeah. While all this is happening. While all this is going down, the president is kind of silently having a meltdown while kind of tracking this in the background. He's trying to, you know, save the world. Oh, yeah. Again. I mean, look, Wednesday was the day for Kim Jong-un and President Trump for their first kissy kissy sesh for pics and exchange their custom tamagotchis they made for each other because they love each other so much and bay it up in Vietnam, honey.

But everything was going well until the press had the fucking temerity to ask some goddamn questions like some journalists or some shit. Right. They were asking shit like, oh, what do you think about the process for denuclearization? How the fuck are you going to ask the president, Kim Jong-un, something like that?

Right. Or ask about, are you concerned about the Michael Cohen testimony? Right. Because you know he's worried about all that shit. So apparently this pissed Trump off so much that he had the press corps like nearly barred from any other event. It's the right move. Yeah, he's like, they're making it too hot for me. They're making it way too fucking hot.

They were saying, one person from Reuters AP, they were saying wire writers were excluded from going to the press room to see the dinner between Trump and Kim Jong-un. And a lot of people were saying, Trump was like, okay, I don't want the, or Sarah Sanders said, we can't have the journalists in there because due to, quote, this is from Sarah Sanders,

quote, due to the sensitive nature of the meetings we have limited the pool for the dinner to a smaller group, but ensured that representation of photographers, TV, radio, and print poolers are all in the room. We are continuing to negotiate aspects of this historic summit and will always work to make sure the US media has as much access as possible, whatever. I mean, the deal is at first they were like, okay, only photographers. And then Trump was apparently was telling the photographers, he's like, oh, you got to send me those photos. And then goes to Kim Jong-un, he's like, I'm going to share these with you. They're beautiful photos. So I'll make sure you get some of these photos.

Like he's hooking them up with press photos. Right. But he insisted, for whatever reason, people were like, wait, it's too sensitive, but you have the fucking photographers in there, but you won't have the fucking actual writers in there? What's the deal? They can't hear. Photographers can't hear. Photographers can't hear, and they can't ask questions because they just have to do clicky, clicky, flash, flash. Right.

But shout out to the photographers because they basically told the White House, they were like, yo, if it's just us, we're not taking photos. Right. We need the writers that we're here with to be in the room, Or you're not getting a fucking... Get your iPhones out then, fam. It's a strong move. Yeah. I mean, it's good because it was like the one thing that actually got at least a few more journalists into the dinner to see what's going on. But again, this is going to be a weird couple of days because, I mean, this whole trip was meant for Trump to get a little bit of a boost in his poll numbers to try and pretend that he's, you know, saved us from nuclear vaporization. Right.

And now it's been completely hijacked. And I think that was one of the reasons why a lot of the GOP is trying to go hard, too, is because they know that like this is completely fucked up, like a great optics moment for the president. Right. Because, yeah, there's the, you know, this trip isn't really getting much air until who knows what the fuck he's going to concede in some kind of meeting with him. Yeah.

And this is continuing until today, right? Yeah, I mean, exactly. Well, as you were listening to this, they're probably, you know. There's probably some OMG news. They figured out, like, a cool handshake like, you know, NBA teams do at the beginning during the introduction. So there's probably some really cool shit. He's like, I brought him a Skip-It.

He's never seen a Skip-It. And we did that for a fucking five hours. He loved it. I told him the very best thing of all, there's a counter on this ball. Skip-It. Do you remember the commercial? Of course. The very best thing of all?

There's a counter on this wall that doesn't work at all. Oh, yeah. Have you ever seen the photos of Kim Jung looking into binoculars? Yeah. Great. Those are so cool. He's holding them upside down and he's still smiling. Oh, like reverse? No, like completely.

I like to think that they're both out somewhere looking into a field and two broken binoculars. That's the optics I want on this meeting. Looking at important things. They're upside down. They break them in half. We made a binocular for each of us.

That's called peace, baby. Where's my Nobel Prize? Abhi, vote for me. I mean, it's got to be hard for him to be having dinner with the guy who has the thing he wants, which is authoritarian control of the media. Sure. Who can just have somebody killed when they get home if he says something that he doesn't like. Oh, yeah.

He's sitting there like a bitch getting questioned by the media. That's got to be fucking infuriating. Yeah, Kim Jong-un's looking at him like, ooh, wow, you're going to let him say that to you? Exactly. Oh, wow. You're going to let that say that to you? Exactly. Oh, wow. You're going to let that rock? Okay. All right, Trump.

All right, President. Yeah, well, we'll hold on to our butts. Yes, hold on to your butts indeed. As Sam Jackson says. That is a quote, of course, from the movie A Star is Born, which a new cut is coming. Great pivot, great pivot. Thank you.

It will have an additional 12 minutes of unseen footage so you can really get into the romantic chemistry between Jackson Maine and Ali I mean

does she have a last name in it? I don't think she's always going by Ali even when she's announced as a winner it's like Ali and then behind her in that? I don't think she's always going by Ally. Yeah. Yeah. And like, even when she's announced as a winner, it's like, Ally. Right. And then behind her, like in that one performance, it just said Ally. Right. For a movie, I didn't, what didn't move me that much. I remember quite a lot about it.

Right. Shout out to Shangela in that one. But yeah, I don't know. I guess people, you know, people ship fucking Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper so much. Like, I think they're slowly overtaking Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston as a couple. Like, America fucking needs to be fucking real. Just do it for us, guys. Come on.

Just fucking kiss. Like, people were, like, screaming at their TVs during the Oscar. Like, just fucking a peck or something, man. Yeah. Anyway, this new film, I mean, it's just giving you more sexual tension, baby. More chemistry. They got a new song. I'm going to just let you know what they got in there.

There's extended performances. By Andrew Dice Clay, right? Yep. Please. Hickory dickory dock. Like, whoa, what the fuck is this? Give me that dice, man. And then, yeah, there's like a scene where you see Jackson and Ally writing a new song together called Clover.

There's extended cuts that show more of Black Eye's alibi and Ally's impromptu parking lot shallow. And then new scenes show Ally singing Is That Alright to Jackson at the wedding, Jackson in the studio singing So Far Gone, and the aforementioned new song. Uh-huh. I mean, I want to say that I care. Yes. Black Eyes, Alibi, and Shallow You knew Shallow was a title But that sounded confusing

I think And also Is That Alright is a song title Oh sorry yes I don't know the soundtrack well enough I only know Shallow Did you see A Star Is Born? Yeah What did you think?

I loved it Are you going to go see the 12-minute? No. Wait, they're putting this in a theater? Fucking theaters, yes. A lot of these theaters. I'm not a big director's cut guy, all right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What more do I need from this? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, people are going to love it. Anna, are you going to go? I know you liked it. Yeah, all right, probably. I'll get a probably from her.

Anyone else? I want to see a different story. If you're going to show a director's cut, have them both hanging from that garage. Wow, yeah. Or I could see... Yeah, the thing that I would need is for that part to be more earned

because it was just so abrupt in the thing. He like... The manager's like, you're screwing her life up, bro, later. He's like, oh, I am? Okay, bye. Okay, bye. Okay. Bye, guys.

Thank God I got pills in my glove box for this. Yeah, it was just an odd. Yeah, I mean, you know, again, that I think could have been earned. I love that I'm a podcaster and not a writer. No, go on. That we probably ruined that movie for someone listening to this. I know. Spoiler alert.

Spoiler alert after the fact. Yeah. What we said happened and we'll spoil your experience. I mean, honestly, at this point, you know, what the fuck are we going to do?

You know? Nothing. I feel like everyone knows that's what happened. And also, it's a movie that's been out three fucking times before this. Right, right.

And every one of them has ended the same way. Or, is the director's cut that he doesn't blank himself at the end of the movie? Right. Suck his own dick.

That's what I was just thinking. Oh, wow. Don't leave him hanging. We're high-fiving. There we go. So, I mean, we'll see. I don't know. That is a reference

to an earlier Bradley Cooper character. From Nip Tuck. From Nip Tuck. Oh, really? Yeah, he played a character who broke his own neck trying to suck his dick. He died?

No. He goes in to see the two surgeons with a fucking immobilizer halo neck brace on. And he's like, yeah, I was just curious. I think he was talking about another procedure. He's like, while you're down there, maybe give me a couple more inches down there. And then they're starting like, how'd you hurt your neck? And I'm like, you tried to suck your own dick, didn't you? I did. And that was his, I that i would love it if that was that doctor

that doctor's line of questioning to everyone though right like how'd you do this trying to suck your own dick my arm is broken man yeah all right yeah your arm is broken why is your neck all fucked up tried to suck your own dick i told you I was in a horrific car accident with my wife who passed away, you fucking asshole. I'm really sorry, man. So now you really have to suck your own dick because she's dead. I'll hook it up, bro.

What do you need, like another aid on there? I just want you to heal my neck. Jesus Christ. Jason, are you a beer guy? Formally. Formally? I mean, I grew up a lot of beers know i grew up drinking in the woods in the suburbs yeah oh man the cheapest 30 packs we can get our hands on we were drinking what's the cheapest around you natty well at that time it was like well yeah natty ice natty ice yeah ice um ice house red dog oh man these are like ten dollars milwaukee's best

yeah yes ice you just wanted the ice when you're a teenager yeah yeah because i get you fucked up Ice House, Red Dog. Oh, man. These were like $10. Milwaukee's best. Yeah. Ice. You just wanted the ice when you were a teenager. Yeah. Because you get fucked up off of like seven beers instead of- It was the pre-IPA IPA. Yeah, exactly. That's right. The poor man's IPA.

Right. I mean, just side note before we get into the story. I read a thing that kids are getting fucked up off vanilla extract because it's 35% alcohol. Yeah. So they're going to Trader Joe's and like a school district was like warning parents are like, if your kid has like bourbon vanilla extract in their backpack, they're sipping that shit to get fucked up.

Oh, they're not cooking. They're not bringing it to school to add to. Apparently they just dump it in their coffee. They buy and just down it and are fucked up. Yeah. You know who else is getting fucked up off of that? Alcoholics.

Yes, exactly. I was just going to say that, too. All right. Oh, but why don't you just buy the alcohol? Is that just like if you're undercover getting fucked up? Right, undercover or it's cheap or, yeah, around the house. If you do that, just get Purell, homie.

Yeah, yeah. Put that on ice. Yeah, a couple pumps. A couple pumps, some water, you know what I mean? You're good. Yeah. You're fucked up. Your insides are burning.

Your esophagus is burning. Yeah, no, that will really fuck you up. Or mouthwash is the other one a lot zeitgang don't do that don't do that just get pop-off vodka or whatever get help if you have i'm suffering from alcohol but if you're gonna do it don't don't drink purell the official stance is drink purell from me okay all right i'll just i'll separate myself that's where i. Anyways, beer is becoming less popular now that kids have, you know, these e-cigarettes. Yeah, their mixologies. And their e, their ecstasy, right?

That's what the kids are into, right? Talking like a truce comeback. Uh-huh. So. Yeah, it's on the slide. There are more effective ways of getting fucked up. Yeah, that, and I think they're also trying to overcome the perception because of people, you know, people love their fucking rosé now.

It's wine time now all the time. People love fucking cocktails. They like Japanese whiskey and shit like that. It's making beer just sort of like they're having a sophistication perception issue. Right. And I think that's what they're fighting against. Yeah, there's the microbrewery thing that kind of tried to take it in a hipster direction yeah that also became kind of lame and beer is generally like mass market is associated

with just like dumb commercials for like sports bros and shit like that like that's not a fashionable thing to be anymore. Yeah. Cause I think also, you know, it's just sort of, we used to live in a world where it was, the two options were like, you want to do shots or you want a beer.

Right. And now we're like, what's a Manhattan? Right. Like what's a Sazerac? Yeah. And shit like that. So anyway,

because of this, there was like a fucking emergency, like round table summit, uh, like last year where the fucking top brewers, we're talking like Heineken, Anheuser-Busch, InBev, Constellation, Molson Coors, got the fuck together. And they're like, how the fuck do we get people to drink beer? This is like some like B-level cartel meeting. Yeah, exactly.

No, for real. Belly losers. And so this is a quote. This is what they were thinking. It says executives from the four companies met early last year to discuss what the Wall Street Journal describes as a got milk style brand neutral ad campaign to convince Americans to buy beer. The hours long meeting at a hotel in Virginia focused on how beer can regain its market share when spirits, wine and cocktails are perceived as more sophisticated. Right. I would have in the past maybe thought of that as like, that's weird because milk is so wholesome. But man, that dairy cartel, they're the most evil motherf of that as like, that's weird because milk is so wholesome.

But man, that dairy cartel, they're the most evil motherfuckers in America, dude. I'm dead serious. They're bad. They've been killing us since. We've known that dairy kills people since World War II when we had dairy rations. And we kept it going because- What do you mean kills people? Like when they had dairy rations, the heart disease like went down for the first time and only time ever.

Oh, because we're like, Hey, we got to cool it on milk. Yeah. They just like, didn't have enough milk to drink for everybody to get fat off of or get heart disease off of. And then the dairy farmers just were like, yeah, we're going to cover that up and just like make sure that people keep consuming milk. What's your favorite milk to drink? Mine's half and half. Delicious. Full body milk. I's your favorite milk to drink? Mine's half and half. Delicious. Full body milk.

I do love whole milk on my cereal. Oh, got to have whole milk. If you ever put a little half and half in some like Frosted Flakes or Fruity Pepple. Oh, fuck yeah. It's like, might as well have a bowl of ice cream. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, anyway, this whole got beer thing. Also, can we talk about what the fuck would that campaign even have looked like that wasn't

going to be ridiculous? Yeah. Just, I don't know. It's like a guy at a bar on a date and the dude next to him is a hipster. He's like, I'll have a mojito. Right. And this guy's like, huh. And he's like, I'll have a beer.

And then a woman's like, I want to fuck. Yeah. And it's like, got beer. I think that's every beer ad for the past 30 years. It is. Yeah. It's like making fun of hipsters. Beer is tighter, more masculine.

I think that's the problem is you're attaching this hyper-masculinity to beer. Yeah, I don't think this is going to solve any of their problems since the only ad that tried to make beer sophisticated was the most interesting man in the world being like, I don't usually like beer. Beer is kind of shitty. But when I drink it, I'll drink this one. Also, I don't wear condoms. It's like, whoa, Yeah. But when I drink it, I'll drink this one. Also, I don't wear condoms.

It's like, whoa, fuck. That's interesting, man. What kind of take is that? That guy has never once worn a condom. Oh, that guy, I've seen him in real life at a barbecue restaurant in Santa Monica. He's so pale in real life, I felt fucking betrayed. Oh, really? Yeah, he's a very fair-skinned man.

Oh, wow. I guess you need that sort of like passed out in the desert kind of hue. Swarfiness. Yeah. But anyway, this got beer thing was going to happen

up until Bud Light did that fucking shade campaign during the Super Bowl where they're like, oh, there's corn syrup in the beer, bro. Right.

That's why we're no corn syrup. We use rice syrup. Right. Now, a lot of brewers have been like, it doesn't, it's a pretty industry-wide thing that's going on.

It doesn't make that much of a difference, but whatever. But all the other brewers are like, bruh, you just kicked everybody else in the dick for your own benefit. And they're like, fuck that. We're not doing the got beer thing anymore. Right. They had like an agreement of the five families, like the godfather, and then they started the war.

Then, yeah. Then they moved on the Colombians. Right. And then boom. Yeah. Now we're here. And now we have no got beer ad campaign. I war. Then, yeah, then they moved on to Colombians. Right. And then, boom, now we're here, and now we have no got beer ad campaign. I know. Shit, man. I am really worried about the beer industry.

Those guys deserve better. So, come on, bud. Yeah, for all the water they're sucking out of the earth, especially in Mexico, bro. To kill people? Like Estrella and Corona, them beers, man, you want to talk about the damage that's being done to that water table for local people who are like, we have no fucking water.

Yeah. And they're like, nah, nah, nah, nah. People need their beer. Yeah. So, I mean, there's got to be a way to make everybody happy. Kegstance. Back to Kegstance. Right.

Yeah. The fun. What was the time you did one? Last time I did a kegstand? Last night? Yeah. Right before bed. That's just how Miles drinks, though. did a keg stand? Last night? Yeah. Right before bed. That's just how Miles drinks, though. He refuses to drink any other way.

What I do is I break into a BevMo at around 3 a.m., and I just bust the kegs open and do my own keg stands against the wall. But no, honestly, I think I did it once because drinking upside down, shit just came out my nose. I was not good at drinking. Can anyone drink inverted like healthily not healthily i don't think i think that is a contradiction in terms yeah but right i i think honestly the first i nearly drowned myself with the goddamn fucking

keg tap in my mouth being held upside down i was too good at drinking which is why i don't drink anymore so i i could i could get the keg stand down pretty easily. Well, maybe, hey, let's do some. We'll get a water jug. Okay. See how much water you can drink upside down. No, I can drink anything pretty quickly, especially Mountain Dew, man. Get me a Mountain Dew.

I'll show you. Give me a glass of half and half. Yeah. I'll just fucking go down easy. The Baja Blast boys over here. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You fuck with Taco Bell, man?

I do. Oh, good. I spent a lot of time in high yeah. You fuck with Taco Bell, man? I do. Oh, good. I spent a lot of time in high school in parking lots of Taco Bells. Wow. It was just like the scene. I'm glad in Connecticut the Taco Bell scene was lit. Yeah.

It was woods or Taco Bell. Rides, drinking, eating. Why was your Taco Bell parking lot like this den of iniquity then? I don't know. I think it might have been the one open the latest. Sure, sure. And there were a lot of easy routes to run away when the cops came. There wasn't just one exit. You could just get out of there

like two or three different ways. Were you on foot? Until I got a car. Right, right, right. But it did make most sense to be on foot at Taco Bell just because it's easier to get away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to guess roller skates, man. We didn't have woods, man, growing up here.

We did our dirt on freeway underpasses. Yeah. The best is in the south when people live on farms, just go out there and drink in the horse pastures. Oh, wow. But you're trespassing

when you do it? Or someone only has the farm? Well, I had a friend who had a horse farm. Wow. We would just go out and start a fire in the middle of nowhere.

Mr. Horse Farm Friend. Yeah. First porno I ever saw was called Horse Gag. Horse Keg? Gag. Gag. Oh, now that makes more sense. Yeah, yeah.

Early internet. It was about a comedian horse. A horse slips on a banana peel. Whoa. I don't think you know what a porno is, man. This horse is great. Those crap falls. Jason, it's been a pleasure having you man

yeah this was fun thank you for having me thanks for coming by where can people find you all social handles are at eatprayjason okay and also

eatprayjason.com we make it real easy okay Thursday if you're in Los Angeles come to the Virgil 8 o'clock for a big money comedy show

that's tonight that's tonight yes that is tonight so if you're here go Angeles, come to the Virgil 8 o'clock for Big Money. That's tonight. That's tonight? Yes. That is tonight. So if you're here, go out there. Go to the Virgil. Okay. Yeah, it'll be a good show.

A lot of fun. Big Money? Like people can win a lot of money when they get there? Big Money. Well, like the comedians are like Big Money. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And is there a tweet you've been enjoying?

Yeah, I did enjoy a tweet yesterday. Let me scroll up to it. People say comedy is a drug, but I've never moved to a new town and had to earn the chance to get high again. And for all the comedians listening, that is very true. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And then can I read a second one? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

From Lori Kilmartin, hilarious comedian here in Los Angeles. It was a screenshot of a text from her mom, and it said, Mom is having a Costco stroke. And mom wrote, I just saw something in Costco called butt lax seal. What now? I just saw something in Costco card for lax. No, no, no, no, no. Okay.

Using the microphone. Very difficult. Mom texts, man. Mom texts are great. card for Lex no no no no no okay using the microphone very difficult mom text mom mom text all my mom texts are about possums but really they're alright yeah they plaguing your mother's no she is the fucking possum whisperer Wow she people know the show you she's a she's like a literal card carrying member of the like American opossum society appreciation society

wow so does she have them as pets or are they just nah they come they come to her backyard and she leaves food out and water and she

anthropomorphizes them and acts like they were like they escaped genocide somewhere wow and she's like giving them refuge it's she's got a whole thing

where is this this is in North Hollywood. Okay. Yeah. It's going down over there. So if any possums down, down on your luck, possums looking for help,

uh, go check out my mom's yard. There's something endearing about them. I know they're rat like, but they're kind of so ugly. They're horrifying. Their teeth are fucking crazy. That's why I'm like,

yo, the fuck, if they just got some, you know, some veneers, right. I might fuck with a possum It's like a really ugly dog

That like becomes cute Because it's so ugly Oh yeah Yeah I still don't like him though Okay Fine Anything ugly

Okay Wow Weirds me out Okay No I'm just No that's fine Miles Yes

Where can people find you You can find me Follow me on Twitter And Instagram At miles of gray A couple tweets I like one is from at beat man bam it's a video so i can't really tell you this is just and it just says the caption is just because it's black history month and it's like a marathon and like trinidad and tobago and

these two white women are like kind of at one and two together like about to cross the finish line with their hands raised up and round the back comes this black woman fucking full sprint and just takes first place right under their noses. Blow. Black History Month. We're still here. The last day. Now, other tweets I like from at Connor McNutt.

You know, love this content, McNutt. It's a discussion, little back and forth between Marie Kondo and the person says, Marie Kondo, nothing? Nothing in your life sparks joy? Me? No. MK. Oh oh my God. Credits roll. And one more is actually from our guest, Jason Burke at Eat Pray Jason.

Thank you. Because I fucking agree with this wholeheartedly. He says, people who wear Nikes with Adidas socks, were you raised by wolves? Wolves that dress like shit? Don't fuck around and mix your shoe and sock brands. You look ridiculous. Keep it consistent. Thank you.

Yeah. That fucking spoke to me, directly to my heart. So I thank you for raising your voice in this time. Thank you. There's one issue I could address in America. It's that. Yeah. Someone walked by me in the streets of New York, and I had to stop and pull my phone

out and write that down. I was so pissed. Yeah. See? And that's the kind of vain, shallow people we are. Yeah. Do you mind if the socks don't match each other? Like, can it be different Nike socks?

No. I mean, unless you're like Kerry Kittles. Right. And you wear one sock high, one sock low. Right. That's kind of a move. You know I do that. You know?

Shout out to Villanova. You know I do that. You know I do that. I'm doing that right now. I'm telling you, Kerry Kittles, man, his style was underrated a tweet i liked so big bird from his verified account big bird's verified come on guys it's not even real shade i'm not verified uh big bird tweeted abcdf gh ijk lmno pqrst uv wxyz CDFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. That's the most remarkable word I've ever seen. And Brooks Overlake tweeted, a fool, and we all lap it up. Drew Toothpaste tweeted, Facebook is doing to boomers what working in a mercury-vapored

hat factory did to the 19th century laborers. And then I just have to, this is worthy of AKA, but it doesn't have either of our names Hat Factory did to the 19th century laborers. This is worthy of AKA, but it doesn't have either of our names in it, so I can't use it there. This is from Sir at A Panda to the tune of We Built This City.

We poopy shitty. We poopy shitty big fart but whole. Alright. Wow. What a classy man. We poopy, shitty, big fart, butthole. All right. Wow. What a classy man. I hope this is one of the ones my parents listen to.

Shout out to you guys. They probably hung up or hit stop when I screamed 9-11 was an inside job. No, no. They are real into that. They're on that? Yeah. Building 7, bro. You know I told you, man.

What happened to Building 7? Sorry, one other. So somebody said, someday they're going to make a movie about the PR team for the Green Book, and it'll probably win an Oscar, and then they just have a list of headlines? I hadn't really put this all together, so they have Hollywood Reporter. Viggo Mortensen apologizes for using N-word during Green Book panel. The Wrap. Green Book star Mahershala Ali apologizes to his character's family after they

call film symphony of lies uh people green book director peter forelli is sorry for flashing his penis to cameron diaz i was an idiot new york magazine green book writer nick villalonga has apologized for his 2015 tweet claiming that he saw muslim amer America's cheering during 9-11. That's fucking just non-stop. Wow. Well, but yeah, you know. That was never gonna derail that shit. I don't know. I think because the people who really like Dreambook

are kind of, like, they missed the point. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, totally. But it's just, they had to miss the point over and over and over again. No, he fairly really dodged the bullet with it. Oh, man, I really shouldn't have pulled my dick out on set. Yeah. But I did it as a goof.

It was a goof. Oh, boy. That tweet was from the Frigginator. Anyways, you can find me on Twitter at Jack underscore O'Brien. You can find us on Twitter at Daily Zeitgeist. We're at The Daily Zeitgeist on Instagram. We have a Facebook fan page and a website,

dailyzeitgeist.com, where we post our episodes and our footnotes. Footnotes. Where we link off to the information that we talked about in today's episode,

as well as the song we write out. What's that going to be today? Okay, I think we'll do a song by Anika, A-N-I-K-A. It's called I Go to Sleep. This is like a song that a lot of artists sing, but this cover was particularly good,

and it caught my attention when I was watching Russian Doll last night. So, yeah, this is Anika's version of I Go to Sleep. Is Russian Doll good? Not bad, yeah. Like, you know, Natasha Lyonne's character, I feel like I could fucking hang out with for real, like all the time. She's got the, yeah, I was enjoying it. Cool.

All right, we're going to ride out on that. We will be back tomorrow because it is a daily podcast. We'll talk to you guys then. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. I look around me and feel you are ever so close to me Each tear that flows from my eye brings back memories of you to me I go to sleep, sleep I'll imagine that you're there with me. I go to sleep. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017,

was assassinated. Crooks everywhere unearthed the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country Crooks Everywhere unearths the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Gianna Pradenti. And I'm Jermaine Jackson-Gadsden. We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts.

There's a lot to figure out when you're just starting your career. That's where we come in. Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in people who do, like negotiation expert Maury Tahiripour. If you start thinking about negotiations as just a conversation, then I think it sort of eases us a little bit. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Kay hasn't heard from her sister in seven years.

I have a proposal for you. Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do. What was that? That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. Can Kay trust her sister, or is history repeating itself? There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm.

Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Curious about queer sexuality, or wherever you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday.