The Daily Zeitgeist - Court Sanctioned GerryTrendering 10/16: CIA/Venezuela, Pete Hegseth, The Pentagon, Laura Trump, Eric Trump

Episode Date: October 16, 2025

In this edition of Court Sanctioned GerryTrendering, Jack and Miles discuss the CIA's covert operations in Venezuela, Pete Hegseth's Pentagon press lockout, Laura Trump not "backing down" from performing at the Turning Point Super Bowl Halftime show, the Trump family saving Christianity and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Johnny Knoxville here. Check out Crimeless, Hillbilly Heist, my new true crime podcast from Smartless Media, campside media, and big money players. It's the true story of the almost perfect crime and the Nimrods who almost pulled it off. It was kind of like the perfect storm in a sewer.

That was dumb. Do not follow my example. Listen to Crimless, Hillbilly Heist, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, it's Ed Helms host of Snafu, my podcast about history's greatest screw-ups. On our new season, we're bringing you a new snafu every single episode. 32 lost nuclear weapons. Wait, stop? What?

Yeah, it's going to be a whole lot of history, a whole lot of funny, and a whole lot of fabulous guests. Paul Shearer, Angela and Jenna, Nick Kroll, Jordan, Klepper, Listen to Season 4 of Snafoo with Ed Helms on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Two rich young Americans move to the Costa Rican jungle to start over, but one of them will end up dead and the other tried for murder three times. It starts with a dream, a nature reserve, and a spectacular new home. But little by little, they lose it. They actually lose it. They sort of went nuts. Until one night, everything's spitting.

out of control. Listen to hell in heaven on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The murder of an 18-year-old girl in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved for years, until a local housewife, a journalist, and a handful of girls came forward with a story. America, y'all better work the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns. Listen to Graves County on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to binge the entire season, ad free, subscribe to Lava for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts.

Hello, the internet, and welcome to this episode of court-sanctioned Jerry Trendering. Beef. Eish. Bees. To arms race of court-sanctioned Jerry-Trendering. That one courtesy of Snorff, you on the Discord. My name is Jack O'Brien. That over there.

Well, that over there is Mr. Mild. Yeah. Hey, all right. Cool. All right. Hey, all right, man. Coming into you live from Los Angeles. It's the daily Zikos.

I can't wait. Game three of the NFL. LCS is happening in moments, Sam. Miles, they call it the city of angels, but clearly they've never been stuck in that Dodger Stadium traffic. Jesus Christ. We should just do that, man.

We should just do that. We have always toyed with a full-blowning. Oh, just do morning. Like, yeah, I mean, I heart has a bunch of radio stations. I mean, remember how many times, like the radio guys are like, hey, man, you guys, you guys should got something there. I'm like, no.

No, I swear too much. And also, like, the FCC won't let me be, you know what I mean? Won't let me be on PODs. All right, Miles, it's Thursday, October 16th. And these are some of the things that are trending. Wow. I did that for like two minutes before we started recording. It was supposed to be my impression of a didgeridoo.

I thought you were doing the oscillating, talking, in front of a fan. Because that's what I would do. As an aside, did you ever use your mouth to create like reverb with your phone ring tone, like on a Nokia? Or like, And you get, quack and quack and quack. Anyway, that's what we used to do. DJ type shit.

You ever stop a fan with your tongue? I have. That was like a cool party trick until I realized everybody could do it. It's like, man Well, no, no, like it People lining up to do it No, no, it was a trick that like really impressed me When my cousin did it

I was like, yo, what the fuck? This guy's got, it's like, you know, putting a cigarette out on your tongue type shit And then, uh, this is probably bad I probably shouldn't be saying anybody can stop a fan with their tongue Cause yeah, are your kids home? Don't let them over here their father say that Man, I don't even want to they just know vaguely that I do

podcasting. He's always like, Mommy is good at tennis and she's a doctor and she's really good at that. Daddy's good at podcast. No idea. No idea what that means.

You just say you're in the CIA or something. Yeah. I got to come up with something, man. Hey, speaking of the CIA, Miles. Oh, yeah. Stumbled on that one. After months of blowing up boats, Donald Trump has now admitted

that he has secretly authorized the CIA to conduct COVID action in Venezuela seems less covert when he when the president's coming out and saying it I don't I don't think like yeah has a president ever admitted to covert CIA action I thought that was like the sort of shit they like take to the grave unless it's a massive fuck up like they have figs or you win right right like where they were like you know who her hip hip hooraying the CIA people who got bin Laden you know right and then they're in Camerley and were doing this or whatever, but yeah.

But I feel like even then, they're just like seal team sit. You know, they're not like the CIA. Like the CIA is like a really good, you know, uh, script doctor. When they're doing their job right, when they're, uh, succeeding, you don't even know they were there. Yeah, their whole thing is like, you suspect they're up to something. Yeah. Not like, it's articulated that they're up to something.

But hey. Oh my God. He admitted it. Certainly weird that. there's a path of left-wing diplomats that have all died of heart attacks. Yeah, right, exactly. In a row right next to each other on the same street, in the same night. I mean, yeah, he's just cranking up the fucking regime change volume now to, I guess, to openly be like, yeah, man, they're down there.

And you know what happens when we send the CIA to Latin America, South America, anywhere? There's real mission drift here is what I was at, like, and I'd say like message drift where it started being like, yeah, we're doing more crime bombings of boats because they're bringing drugs to our country. And now it's pretty clear that they just want to topple the Maduro regime and take over the government and, you know, get some of that. Good, good, that black gold. Texas tea. Mm-hmm. And everyone calls it that. I don't even, I say, hey, babe, we better pull over.

I got to go get some Texas tea. Do they, was that meant to be like, T-E-A? Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Am I, for all my years watching the intro to the Beverly Hillbillies, I just thought it was just like a T, like the letter T, Texas T. The letter T. Because I'm like, why would you drink oil? That's true.

It's disgusting. I mean, you should try it. No, I saw it. I saw it in three kings. Yeah, in the movie Three Kings, a guy put the, seedy in his mouth and made him drink the oil who was not and he said he has this for your stability my main man

I love that movie I haven't seen it in a long time but I remember it fucking ruled well yeah because it's that fucking just insane imperialism propaganda shit you know what I mean like it's the hardest fucking propaganda movie like oh yeah

dude fucking Mark Wahlberg yeah but then I feel like they're also fairly critical of America and like the at the end just like the Bush administration is just like nah fuck y'all and we get to like actually see that happen um I do love the questioning where the guy keeps saying what is the problem with Michael Jackson yeah what's the problem my main man kept saying my main man my man I do that that's a thing that my friends we could not we still this day that was like our six seven that we would say we would say my man man or we

or the really tragic part he's given the monologue about how his son was, they died in a bombing. Yeah. Anyway. And you guys were like quoting that like it was anchor man.

No, what we say is, I haven't even told you the horrible part yet, my main man. Uh-huh. Because he goes, oh, that sounds horrible.

And he goes, I haven't even told you the horrible part yet. That was the first time or maybe the second time I realized Mark Wahlberg was going to be a, gonna be a star.

It was that, that late. Wasn't that? I feel like that was fairly early. I feel like that was right around Boogie Nights. What was that? Oh, I guess 99. Yeah.

God, I'm old. God damn. In my mind, that was, that was, that were only 10 years ago. Anyway, what about the CIA? They're, they're overthrowing the government in Venezuela, or at least they're openly admitting to it. Trump doesn't know exactly how to use the CIA. So he's like, we're doing a covert CIA overthrow, which I feel like the number of people slapping their forehead in the CIA must have been.

It was fully, that's airplane. right where we get the full-on hits left yeah 20 but Maduro has said no to regime he addressed the nation and was like could we not do that

no to CIA orchestrated coup d'etat listen to me no war yes peace the people of the United States hey I'm on board with that you think you think he'll hear us out Donald Trump what just yes to peace

yeah yes to peace can we that. No to war. Yes to peace. Yeah, let's try that. I don't know. Or maybe he'll be like, you see what happened? I stopped the war that I started against Venezuela. So add that one to my Nobel list. Yeah. He created some other. He's still, he said some other fucking made up war he stopped again. Like yesterday. Yeah. He's because he is senile. Nah. He's just, uh, he is. He's just a visionary dog.

He's like working on another level, man. Like he's, I'm reading the Percy Jackson books where like there's like you know different different realities that we're not aware of there's like wars raging around us and like that's a trump is like fighting you know i mean as we're going to get to he's like helping god out you know he this what he said he goes iran and pakistan had to stop that one he basically said i had to pick up the phone had to stop that one i had to threaten i threatened 200% tariffs if they didn't cease and they stopped. Okay. Well, in a connected story, we're not going to have any idea what the fuck's going on

of the Pentagon. We're not even going to get to see all those forehead slaps because the journalists have had to leave. Pete, Pete Heggseth was like, you sign this or you're out. And they were like, do you say, we're out. Sign this heavily restrictive agreement that basically limits your ability to report and be objective in any way, um, or, or go. And I mean, even Fox News, they, they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, sorry, we're out on this one. It was only one America news that was like,

we'll do it. Um, we're a good boss. I mean, uh, sir. Uh, they've got such a, such far reach to. But again, I mean, they probably reach the numb skulls that matter to them. So yeah. That's probably what Donald Trump watches mainly. I feel like that's really what's driving his... He watches it all, though. You know, he hate watches the main networks, though, too. Yeah, that's true. Gives him a fucking rage surge or whatever the fuck he's looking for.

But, yeah, so basically because they didn't sign the thing, they all had to pack their shit yesterday. Yeah. And, like, I saw some photos. Like, it truly was, like, closing time. Yeah, just people walking out with boxes. With their boxes and shit. Decades of coverage from the U.S. military headquarters.

Just now. a memory. Yeah, it's one of those things that you generally want to be able to like have insight into as a citizen is like what is our military, the most powerful military in the history of the world? What are they up to?

Maybe not anymore, but who know? Yeah, exactly. Like you, for a country that loves to make war, you want to maybe, it is good to have journalists embedded in there, but a lot of the the Guardian did a piece speaking to a lot of these people and they're like, this is actually just going to make me report harder and just figure out other ways. But they all do basically have all said this is going to have a tremendous chilling effect, just not only on their journalism, but also just the people within the Pentagon that are willing to talk.

We're tremendous chilling effect or chilling effect? Chilling. Yeah. He's not like chilling. We're not chilling. No, no, no. Because here's the other part. Pete Hankseth is not chill at fucking oil. Turns out.

He is chill at oil. but he is not chill at all. I do just like the image of somebody reporting harder and it just means that they're, you know, when like Elton John is playing the piano really hard. He's like standing up. Like that's how they're typing their stories.

It's like in an athletic position, just pounding at the keys. I for whatever reason I picture Connor O'Malley doing it. It's like, ah! He's screaming. Throwing hot coffee in his face. Yes.

What? Yes. Yes. Fine. Confidential. Yeah. Jamming. Jamming out on those keys. I think I, I mean, I totally get it. I mean, you know, there is still this dedication to what we've all known to be journalism. And, yeah, I have a feeling. I mean, you just hear how the people in the Pentagon feel about it. And I know that people are probably going to be less likely to talk, but shit is so bad there that they're gonna talk because when you hate your fucking job and you hate your boss you want to get some shit off your chest and i think that's kind of already happening with this other story yeah it's a big

organization to try to uh you know rule with an iron fist while having none of the bona fides to like back up your uh agro energy exactly yeah so apparently that fucking stupid micro penis ted talk to all the generals that Pete Hags has did. Apparently, Zetaeo's reporting that basically anyone that works for DoD must watch this fucking speech or read the transcript in full or else. What does that mean? Like, do they, like, they have people, apparently he has goons going around checking to see if people, like, this is one of the quotes from the Zetaob's quote, this is from

a defense department staffer, obviously. anonymous, said, we have other things we need to work on. When they told us we were required to watch the Hague said speech, I didn't realize they were going to throw this kind of manpower at forcing the mandatory viewing of a Trump rally. Right. Yeah, that's essentially what it was. There was like no, there was no content.

There was nothing that like seemed like it needed to be seen. This is what happens. Like, I noted, this was, when I worked at Condé and asked, there's, there's, There's the family that owns the company, like very wealthy. Sure. And they had their kid, like the descendants just have like these made up jobs within the company. And like, I'd be like, what's that person doing? Like, oh, they don't do it.

I mean, they, they, they quote unquote work here, but they don't do anything. Sure. And I was like, what? And that was like sort of my first introduction to be like, you can just do shit. I thought that was like in the movies or something. No. Yeah, yeah, exactly. This one works in pajamas with a dog in here.

Like, what the fuck? and this was in Manhattan and this is what the heck's this year reminds you it's just sort of like yeah dude I can fucking do whatever this has no there's no point to me doing this but I can do it merely because of the position that I have

or the influence that I have because no one understood what the point of that fucking speech was aside from him just showing how bad are they just like pop quiz when you watch an HR video like do they do they like have follow up where they're like in the third portion of his speech did mr heggseth say

america fucking rules yeah no more fatties where did pete heggseth go wrong a was it in using signal to transmit sensitive defense information to a journalist at the atlantic this is what this is a tale piece quote at times when subordinates have replied that they had watched the nearly hour long speech in full higher ranking officials have immediately asked the staffers questions about the speech, as if to, in other words, test them and make sure they aren't lying. In other instances, defense department staff were warned that there would be negative consequences if they were found to have not actually watched or read the speech, or if they were found to have mocked Heggseth's address.

What must those meetings be like? Dude. Where he is getting in the ass of everybody who's like directly reports to him about like his insecurity that people didn't watch his speech. Yeah. That's what that's amazing. Like it must be so fucking crazy. People who are tasked with real heavy shit.

You know what I mean? Like you're the like American war machine. Yeah. Like bombing the boat. Dude, I just blew up a party boat because you told me to. Can you give me the fucking day off? What was, uh, what was your favorite part of speech?

Go, go, go. Oh, you like the speech to say it? You like speech? say every part. I don't know, fatties or uglies or women. All right. You got it this time. See, you guys, this is what I'm talking about. Miles fucking reads the instructions and he understands the assignment.

That's right. Thanks. Dude, can I get back to video game killing people? Please. But yeah, it's, I mean, again, just shows how thin-skinned and weak these people are. Like, they're projecting a lot of power. But in their core, there are these, like, very, very fragile, ego-driven people. And unfortunately, yeah, they have an entire war machine at their disposal right now. But I think it just goes to show, like, these are not fucking, like, tough guys we're dealing with.

These are people like, watch my vid. Did you see? Like, transparently fools. This is like when I was posting my YouTube videos on Facebook. Right. Like, did you watch Auntie? Did you see it? Did you watch money?

Everybody catch this one? Yeah, we fucking saw it, man. You're spamming the fucking timeline right now. Yeah. All right. Let's take a quick break. We'll be right back. Hey, it's Ed Helms, and welcome back to Snafu.

My podcast about history's greatest screw-ups. On our new season, we're bringing you a new snafu every single episode. 32 lost nuclear weapons. Wait. Stop? What? Ernie Shackleton sounds like a solid 70s basketball player. Who still wore knee pads? Yes.

It's going to be a whole lot of history, a whole lot of funny, and a whole lot of guests. The great Paul Shear made me feel good. I'm like, oh, wow. Angela and Jenna, I am so psyched. You're here. What was that like for you to soft launch into the show? Sorry, Jenna, I'll be asking the questions today. I forgot whose podcast we were doing. Nick Kroll. I hope this story is good enough to get you to toss that sandwich.

So let's see how it goes. Listen to season four of Snap-Foo with Ed Helms on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All I know is what I've been told. And that's a half-truth is a whole lie. For almost a decade, the murder of an 18-year-old girl from a small. town in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved until a local homemaker, a journalist, and a handful of girls came forward with a story. I'm telling you, we know Quincy Kilder, we know.

A story that law enforcement used to convict six people, and that got the citizen investigator on national TV. Through sheer persistence and nerve, this Kentucky housewife helped give justice to Jessica My name is Maggie Freeling. I'm a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, producer, and I wouldn't be here if the truth were that easy to find. I did not know her and I did not kill her or rape or burn or any of that other stuff that y'all said. They literally made me say that I took a match and struck and threw it on her. They made me say that I poured gas on her. From Lava for Good, this is Graves County, a show about just how far our legal system will go

in order to find someone to blame. America, y'all better work the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns. Listen to Graves County in the Bone Valley feed on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to binge the entire season ad-free, subscribe to Lava for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts.

I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and on the new season of heavyweight, I help a centenarian mend a broken heart. How can a 101-year-old woman fall in love again? And I help a man atone for an armed robbery he committed at 14 years old. And so I pointed the gun at. him and said this isn't a joke. And he got down, and I remember feeling kind of a surge of like, okay, this is power.

Plus, my old friend Gregor and his brother tried to solve my problems through hypnotism. We could give you a whole brand new thing where you're like super charming all the time. Being more able to look people in the eye. Not always hide behind a microphone. Listen to Heavyweight on the

IHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Samihante, it's Anna Ortiz. And I'm Mark and Delicado. You might know us as Hilda and Justin from Ugly Betty. We played mother and son on the show, but in real life, we're best friends. And I'm all grown up now.

Welcome to our new podcast, Viva Betty! Yay! Woo-hoo! Can you believe it has been almost 20 years? That's not even possible. You're the only one that looks that much different. I look exactly the same. We're re-watching the series from Star,

Start to finish and getting into all the fashions, the drama, and the behind-the-scenes moments that you've never heard before. You're going to hear from guests like America Ferreira, Vanessa Williams, Michael Yuri, Becky Newton, Tony Plana, and so many more. Icons, each and every one. All of a sudden, like, someone, like, comes running up to me, and it's Selma Hayek. And she's like, you are my ugly Betty. And I was like, what is she even talking about? Listen to Viva Betty. the MyCultura podcast network available on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your

podcast and we're back we're back and we want to check it with our favorite couple laura trump and eric trump the lesser trumps yeah the lesser trumps exactly uh laura has officially volunteered to perform at the alternative Super Bowl halftime concert. I just want to read the description of how she did it. You want to hear it?

You got to almost hear it. You want to, did you? Because I was reading the text. The second I read the text, like, I have to find, I need to fucking see this person pretend like they just thought this up rather than something they've been obsessing over. That is exactly what is happening.

Yeah. Where they're like, who do you think Laura should be in on the halftime show and totally like probably the most engineered segment too where it's like oh here's a here's a because it came in as like I'm just doing some like reader like listener

emails oh who do I think should be in the in the TP the turning point USA halftime show is kind of how this begins yeah I'm just gonna cut to the part where it's about her she like rattles off a few fucking no names and then she's getting the Trump face

too the Yeah, you got to. Megaface. Yeah, yeah. She's blending into the Laura Lumer of it all. Into the scenery. Okay, here she is saying, here's a fucking wacky idea. I feel like we have a lot of great people who we could add into this.

I haven't really thought about it. This first thought about it. Yeah, yeah. Seems like it. But you know what? You can throw a Lara Trump in there. That's right. Laughing maniacally.

She threw her head back like Rita Rapulsa. Fucking Power Rangers or some shit. Okay. Okay, go on, Laurel. I'll hear your pitch. Imagine how upset people on the left would be if something like that happened. It sort of makes me want to offer myself up. I have not been asked, but I'm going to offer it right now.

Makes you want to off myself. Let's see what happens. The great news is we don't need the NFL. We don't need any of these woke losers to. Yes. Oh, there's that energy. So shout out to Turning Point. The looking down being like,

And we don't need, like, these woke losers, like, the people who actually are the arbiters of popular mainstream culture, like, we don't need them, actually, the people that, like, I fucking wish would accept me. No, we don't fucking need them. We need our own insular simulacrum of a world where we are talented and good people. This is, like, someone being like, oh, my God, we should kiss. Imagine how freaked out everyone would be if we kissed right now. They would be so mad, right? You're my cousin. They'll be mad for a lot of reasons.

Oh, my God. Wouldn't it upset them? Wouldn't it be so funny? if we could. Oh, my God. Wouldn't it be so up so... Like,

that's not a good pitch where it's like, wouldn't it be great that you chose me for a thing you kind of want to be serious purely because I'm the troll. Right.

The troll like option here. But... And also like a troll option that is going... There's video of her like singing. So she's a recording artist which is not something I realized and has a song on Spotify

that's like auto-tuned slop that... has been streamed 2 million, oh, no, sorry, that's 2,731 times total, almost definitely entirely by her. Oh, you know, she's probably got fucking 48 cell phones in a row. Oh, yeah. With that shit on repeat and just like, I don't know, man, I was fucking, I just loop them. And then there's, like, she's saying, won't back down at a Mar-a-Lago event, I think. Yeah, it's better, like, the auto-tune shit, it hides everything.

You know what I mean? it's it's it's vocal makeup now this at a lectern during a maga thing singing tom petty like this yeah it's i mean it's karaoke quality it's like b plus to be minus karaoke quality uh singing be my dude c plus that's c plus yeah yeah c plus to be minus you know she's doing like little runs she's doing little flourishes like right here wow the eye like she had been working on that shit she had been working on that shit this is first of all she's right I would be so mad if she got up there and did her singing I would cry so much I could fill up a coffee mug it would be checkmate for a us here on the Daily Zykeyes. In no way would it resemble the part of Citizen Kane, a movie about a corrupt billionaire where he lets his young wife sing and she sucks shit and everybody's laughing.

And it drives him crazy. It would instead be totally fucking own us. This is like one of my, like I did used to watch the early rounds of American Idol. And honestly, it is some of the most compelling TV I've ever seen. I've never fully understood, like that, but this, there is this just drive within people who aren't good singers, but they just like, it is like they've been incepted with the idea that they should be a world famous vocalist, like, completely. And I just wonder, because obviously, like, like, like I mentioned, there's a plotline

in Citizen Kane about somebody like this where like he marries, this young woman who's like, I want to be a great singer. So this has been going on forever. Right. Is it that their voices sound great to them in their own head and, like, nowhere else? Or is it just a form of narcissism? Yeah, it's, it's, again, this is what, like, being wealthy and white does to people. Yeah.

Especially in this country. Like, you're just, you're going to surround yourself with other people like, oh, my God, I love it. Right. Because of your wealth, you know what I mean? And, like, people are going to, trying to be upwardly mobile around her. But also, like, she was probably raised on a diet of, like, bad and courage. her entire life. You know what I mean?

Absolutely, just like a father, like, not looking away from the TV, just being like, yeah, it sounds great, babe. You're doing great. Hey, uh, hi. Put your sanctity ring back on. Okay, dad. I'm sorry. Sing butterfly kisses.

Not this hippie Tom Petty bullshit. That's right. She does do like a little, during the performance, she does like a little fun point off to the crowd, like she's a professional. Her husband. performer. We know that you know he's there. It's not, it's not

a crowd. There's like 20 people in the audience. You don't need to point of people. You're not a, you're not Tom Petty just getting out there and like seeing someone you recognize in the crowd.

You're in a room like you were just sitting with these people getting up there. It's like the people doing the little ear thing. We're there, you know what I mean? Not only that, that wasn't a fucking legitimate musical performance. That was a fucking holiday dinner when they said, go on and sing, baby. Go sing for everybody.

Right. You have a captive audience in here who are people trying to climb the fucking ladders of power. And do you want to sing like a Christmas song? I've been working on Won't Back Down for fucking three months. Oh, God. Okay. Okay. I felt like maybe.

You could feel the like the work she had put in. on that little, hey, ah, ha, like, she did, like, a little thing in there. If she just sang without music playing, so she could just get her pitch right, she might have been, she might have been able to pull that off. No, this is as good as it gets for it, because that was, like, very carefully choreographed, very carefully choreographed, you could, like, tell. There's a stunt vocalist backstage with the microphone. That person's sucked ass, too.

He's like, you fucking burned me up there. All right. Let's check in quick with her husband who went on the Benny Johnson. He still has a show? Yeah, well, that's, we call it the, what, what are we calling it these days? My infant nearly died in a drug fire. Right. After mass shooting show.

And yeah, Eric Trump was there to peddle his new book called Oh, God, that would be so interesting to read what's going on in his brand. Oh, dude, don't worry. because he talked about it and I ignored that part but the part that is sticking out to me is the fucking heaven shit is daddy going to heaven talk is back to the well

he's back on it hey would you kids mind going around and saying I'm going to heaven do you guys mind going out there and maybe if yeah like can we get a whisper campaign going kind of like how people win Academy Awards to get me into the fucking heavens this is him being like

if he wasn't heaven bound my dad is heaven bound my dad is heaven bound are you crazy of course he is if he wasn't heaven bound um he wouldn't have been alive after butler if he wasn't heaven bound that flag wouldn't have folded up like a perfect deal right above his head if he wasn't heaven bound if he wasn't meant for this purpose he wouldn't have beaten hillary we wouldn't have beaten hillary we wouldn't have got the land mine okay and then he's like they they tried to fucking destroy my family they said you couldn't write a better comeback than this through probably some kind of real underhanded dark shit that is yet to be revealed and probably some kind of legal investigation that we'll never get. But anyway, here he goes on now

to really pump up their own fucking dicks and say they're saving Christianity? You know, we're saving Christianity. We're saving God. We're saving the family unit. We're saving this nation. I mean, you know, DEI is out the window, Benny. You know, I mean, you no longer have Collar and Kaepernick kneeling for the national, you know, for the national anthem. We no longer have you know a Budweiser going woke as hell right yeah the Budweiser thing dead and yet what do we have you know we have a return to people going to church that's funny because no people are not going back to church no um but notice how none of the things he brought up there you know were actually actually translate to being like happier healthier healthier or wealthier in this country

like they've mastered the art of cultural grievances as policies like look look what we've done man There's no longer the black man protesting, was actively reminding us the work we need to do to heal this nation. Right. We don't have that anymore. Your beer doesn't have like colorful shit on it on the box once a year, you know? And now your medication might be more expensive anyway.

It doesn't matter. Yeah. And in the Bible, just going off of their text, it certainly never says anything about people who place themselves above God. and say, he should actually be thanking us. Like, if he's going to say, I'm not good enough for heaven, he's actually not good enough for us.

And like, maybe you should be worshipping us because we saved God. That sounds like some shit that the whole Trump family is in front of St. Peter and trying to get in. And they're like, oh, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We can't get in? You're bringing woke shit into this? Hold on, motherfucker. Because last I checked, my dad saved God.

God's ass, bitch. You saved God? We saved. That's like what one of the mega people was saying that they were like, I bet, I bet God's waiting in line to get Charlie Kirk's autograph today. They're just like, they're so deep into a cult. Yeah, they don't know. That's supposedly started, like, started with them shaming people for not knowing the Bible. they're like doing they're doing the shit from like the cartoon version of like bible lessons

where it's like hey guys i got this new golden calf let's worship it yeah yay it's really cool never mind about god the one true god let's worship this golden calf i mean they are i guess they're going for the divine rights of kings type strategy here like if they're i mean because this is to say this is i mean whether they understand or not like they're trying to deify him to be like if he's saying like therefore not know they're doing that but then it's just like I wonder like are they just I mean whatever I think people who are naturally predatory like this are going to naturally land in a place where they're like well I have to obviously find a way to rhetorically put this person as as the highest authority possible for any living person or else

or else are just a senile old 79 year old who keeps talking about what like it into heaven I mean they might get into heaven if Laura Trump's halftime show performance is sick enough. But we'll see. She sings with the voice of an angel, folks. If heaven is the name of like some township in Florida, yeah, they're going there. All right. Those are some of the things that are trending on this

October 16th. We are back tomorrow with the whole last episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other. Be kind to yourself. Get your vaccines way. You still can. Get your flu shots. Don't do nothing about white supremacy. And we will talk to you all tomorrow.

Bye. Bye. The Daily Zykeyes is executive produced by Catherine Law. Co-produced by Bay Wang. Co-produced by Victor Wright. Co-written by J.M. McNabb. And edited and engineered by Brian Jeffries. Johnny Knoxville here.

Check out Crimeless, Hillbilly Heist. My new true crime podcast from Smartless Media, Campside Media, and Big Money Players. It's the true story of the almost perfect crime and the Nimrods who almost pulled it off. It was kind of like the perfect storm in a sewer. That was dumb. Do not follow my example. Listen to Crimless, Hillbilly Heist on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, hey, it's Ed Helms, host of Snafu, my podcast about history's greatest screw-ups.

On our new season, we're bringing you a new series. Snafoo every single episode. 32 lost nuclear weapons. You're like, wait, stop? What? Yeah. It's going to be a whole lot of history, a whole lot of funny, and a whole lot of fabulous guests.

Paul Shearer, Angela and Jenna, Nick Kroll, Jordan, Klepper. Listen to season four of Snafu with Ed Helms on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Two rich young Americans move to the Costa Rican jungle to start over, but one of them will end up dead. tried for murder three times. It starts with a dream, a nature reserve and a spectacular new home. But little by little, they lose it.

They actually lose it. They sort of went nuts. Until one night, everything spins out of control. Listen to Hell in Heaven on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The murder of an 18-year-old girl in Graves County, Kentucky, went unsolved for years, until a local housewife, a journalist, and a handful of girls came forward with a story. America, y'all better work the hell up. Bad things happen to good people in small towns.

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