The Daily Zeitgeist - Don't Tell Me No Zeits 4/2: Toilet Paper, Quavo, Jared Kushner, Animal Crossing

Episode Date: April 3, 2020

On this edition of Don't Tell Me No Zeits Jack and Jamie discuss the Medium article about hoarding toilet paper, it's Quavo's birthday, Jared Kushner joined the National Address on COVID-19 to do show and tell, and Animal Crossing is trending more than "sex" on Google. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I am Lacey Lamar. And I'm also Lacey Lamar. Just kidding. I'm Amber Reffin. Okay, everybody, we have exciting news to share. We're back with season two of the Amber and Lacey, Lacey and Amber show on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network. This season, we make new friends, deep dive into my steamy DMs, answer your listener questions,

and more. The more is punch each other. Listen to the Amber and Lacey Lacey and Amber show on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just listen, okay? Or Lacey gets it. Do it. How do you feel about this, kids? Hi, I'm Akilah Hughes, and I'm so excited about my new podcast, Rebel Spirit, where I head back to my hometown in Kentucky and try to convince my high school to change their racist mascot, the Rebels, into something everyone in the South loves, the Biscuits.

I was a lady rebel. Like, what does that even mean? It's right here in black and white in print. It's bigger than a flag or mascot. Listen to Rebel Spirit on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 26-year-old Lynette Fromm, nicknamed Squeaky. The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI. Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore. The story of one strange and violent summer, this season on the new podcast, Rip Current. Hear episodes of Rip Current early and completely ad-free and receive exclusive bonus content by subscribing to iHeartTrue Crime Plus only on Apple Podcasts. MTV's official challenge podcast is back for another season. iHeart True Crime Plus only on Apple Podcasts. I'm Davon Rogers, and we're here to take you behind the scenes of the Challenge 40, Battle of the Eras.

Join us as we break down each episode, interview challengers, and take you behind the scenes of this iconic season. Listen to MTV's official Challenge podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, the Internet, and welcome to this episode of don't tell me no zides and keep your hands to yourself first courtesy of johnny davis uh that's the name of our uh episode the akas have just been on absolute fire in the choir this is what we really needed was a lot of time alone. I think our performances are inspiring them. I know mine is. I've taken my vocals

to a new level and the voice lessons have been paying off. I'm Jack O'Brien and that's Jamie Loftus. Hey! Welcome to the evening show. The late show. The late late show. It's the late late show. That's show. The late, late show. It's the late, late show. That's James Corden, formerly Craig Ferguson.

That's what it is. Let's tell the people what's trending. That's what we do. A lot of Zs. Yeah. A lot of Zs. Toilet paper is trending. There is a story on Medium right now that blows up the talking point

that we're all just hoarding toilet paper and we're all just a bunch of little toilet paper pigs just can't get enough of the toilet paper. You slobbering teepee hounds. Just slobbering all over that teepee. Sickos. So the reason that the toilet paper

has been sold out everywhere is the supply chains. It is not our fault. It's not your fault, Jamie. Oh. It's not your fault. Oh. Goodwill hunting.

Yeah. Well, they have the bench and they have like one of those creepy plaques where Robin Williams did that speech or whatever. He did that one in the bar in the scene in the park right in in the no that was in his that was in his office jamie oh that was in burbank i'm so stupid but i'm sure they have a plaque for that they gotta they gotta we are going to the bathroom more at home so so we do need more toilet paper. Basically, they're saying that we used to do 40% of our pooping and pee-pees away from home,

back when we could go to the bathroom at Starbucks or at work, or just sneak into other people's houses and go to the bathroom. As one does, yeah. Yeah, as one does. So now we're doing 40% more bathroom going in our domiciles which means we need 40 more toilet paper and it's just a the supply chain is not built to provide us with that 40 of toilet paper interesting they are built built to provide at a very steady rate because we,

for most of our history, have been pooping at a very steady rate. I mean, it's kind of our thing. I do find myself sometimes going to the bathroom just to have something to do or just to have a moment

to myself. Is that bad? I feel like that's kind of common right now. And if you sit, you got to wipe. So it all makes sense to me. Yeah, it's true. is that bad i feel like that's kind of common right now and and if you sit you gotta wipe so it all makes sense to me it's true that would be a waste of a trip a waste of a of a sit don't waste my sit yeah so i don't know i i find this interesting like i i kind of like the fact that this whole story which has become become like the de facto icebreaker

of boomers is like, watch out for the toilet paper. They're hoarding the toilet paper is not a story about us being a bunch of irrational dummies. It's actually a story of just systemic failure, which is the story of this whole fucking thing. Kind of comforting. I mean, it's not comforting

that it keeps repeatedly being the system and not the general populace, but just to hear that it's like, it's not you, it's us. You're like, okay. I still can't wipe my ass, but thanks. I'm just like walking around with like butt crust, like, thank you.

but thanks i'm just like walking around with like butt crust like thank you um oh so the the other thing is that so that like the 40 of toilet paper that used to go to starbucks or like workplaces um is a different type of toilet paper it's like it comes in huge rolls too big to fit on most home dispensers the zero ply zero ply it's just basically yeah it's tissue paper uh and it comes individually wrapped and shipped on huge pallets rather than in brightly branded packs of six or twelve so it's that's the reason is that like the 40 of toilet paper where we used to use that stuff is now being bought at supermarkets and we don't have enough of the super soft, brightly wrapped stuff to keep up with it.

Not enough of the bear shit. All right. Not enough of the bear stuff. Quavo is trending. Oh, he's back in the mix? Yeah, he's back in the mix. Sorry, Jamie. I need you to give me a moment so I can say this amazing pun. It's his birthday. He'll go live if he wants to. That's right. He's having a party on Instagram Live that everyone's allowed to attend. I don't know what that means. That's fun. Are he and Cardi together? In the choir, I mean.

No, I think that's Offset, right? Oh, wait, that's Offset. You're right, you're right. How dare I mix up my Migos? They're close personal friends of mine. I'm sorry, Jamie. I'm sorry. Were you mixing up your Migos again?

That was fucked up i know them jack i know them oh that's right you are friends with uh all my egos they're gonna have a good laugh that i did this that's kind of fun i don't know so is everyone allowed to go to his instagram live party i think so we We have a request. We have a call from the request line. It's DJ Daniel. Jamie, I'll let you take this one. That's me in the corner.

That's me in the spotlight. Mixing up my Migos. Worth it. It was worth it. Yeah, that was awesome. Worth it. It was worth it. Yeah, that was awesome. Thank you. He's not the best in the biz for nothing, ladies and gentlemen. I don't know what a party on Instagram

Live is going to entail. Probably just people watching each other drink. It's always fun. That's all I got. Jared Kushner is trending because a few hours ago uh the white house task force update uh from the white house included jared kushner getting out there talking about how uh it was like a book report he was talking about how the president

wanted everyone to be the best people doing the best things and how he's all he cares about is statistics and it's truly incredible how much he reads as like a little boy who's just doing his best to pretend like he's an adult on camera oh i mean the fact that he's even showing his face right now is uh is bold yeah is bold his voice just Is bold. His voice, just everything, him in motion is totally different than,

I know we said this stuff the very first time we saw him in motion, but he's very, very jarring to see what he is like when he talks.

When he talks, and then when, like you're right, like when he moves, it's almost like Sim-like the way he moves. Yeah, it is. Like, it glitches.

It's not quite right. Right. And it's also a glitch because he's a human boy who is adult size and who has children somehow. But it's very strange to me. And then Animal Crossing is apparently trending the most of anything because it's trending more than sex according to google uh it's animal crossing well i'll let you take this one you're the switch guy so right so big switch fan obviously i don't have

to tell you guys uh nintendo's animal crossing new horizons biggest game in the world right now i mean that's controversial obviously i don't want to go out on too much of a switch heads are going to come for you yeah but uh you know it makes sense it's a fantastical animal filled world where there isn't really a pandemic happening i guess that's one of the cool things and we get to hang out with animals wearing clothes and that's better than everything else that's going on in real in real world people are getting married on their animal crossing islands i think that's very democratic activists are reportedly considering canvassing in Animal Crossing. Fun!

Has the time come to get a Switch? They're all sold out. You can't get one right now. I know. I am constantly monitoring the Switch markets, and it's true. They are sold out. Very hard to get, but the black market's still producing Switches. I finally chose a video game to play with Isaac,

and it's boring. It's Crash Bandicoot Racing. Oh, that's fun. It's fun. I'm going to play to an unlocked Spyro, and then I'm not going to play ever again. Totally. Unlocked Spyro.

I was just going to say, you should play it until you unlock. Yeah, yeah. He has four heads. Anyways, there's also a surge in Animal Crossing porn, which I don't even know what that would be. You think that they got genitals in there? Well, that's the thing is the animals have birthdays,

but they don't have birth years. And so people are wondering. There's like some weird childish things going on. People, childish characteristics of the characters. I haven't actually played, but the way that they like move and talk to each other, they seem kind of like sexless creatures or like they have like,

like it's like a Barbie where she has like a sex lump, but she doesn't have like genitals. You're just like, maybe Barbie's sex lump gets hot sometimes, but nothing happens with it. Right. It just gets really hot. Scalding. My sex lump is scalding. is scalding.

Anyways, Jamie, thank you so much for taking the time to join me to tell the people what is trending. Oh, absolutely. We will be back tomorrow with a whole other podcast. It's a really good one. I know I keep saying that, but I'm really enjoying this four-person

format. It's a lot of fun. It's been good. We will talk to you guys then. Have lot of fun. It's been good. We will talk to you guys then. Have a good night. Stay safe. Bye. Bye. Bye. Hi, I am Lacey Lamar.

And I'm also Lacey Lamar. Just kidding. I'm Amber Revin. Okay, everybody. We have exciting news to share. We're back with season two of the Amber and Lacey, Lacey andar. Just kidding. I'm Amber Revin. Okay, everybody. We have exciting news to share. We're back with season two of the Amber and Lacey, Lacey and Amber show on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network. This season, we make new friends, deep dive into my steamy DMs, answer your listener questions,

and more. The more is punch each other. Listen to the Amber and Lacey, Lacey and Amber show on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just listen, okay? Or Lacey gets it. Do it. In California during the summer of 1975, within the span of 17 days and less than 90 miles, two women did something no other woman had done before, try to assassinate the president of the United States. One was the protege of Charles Manson. 26-year-old Lynette Fromm, nicknamed Squeaky.

The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI. Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore. The story of one strange and violent summer, this season on the new podcast, Rip Current. Hear episodes of Rip Current early and completely ad-free and receive exclusive bonus content by subscribing to iHeart True Crime Plus

only on Apple Podcasts. How do you feel about biscuits? Hi, I'm Akilah Hughes, and I'm so excited about my new podcast, Rebel Spirit, where I head back to my hometown in Kentucky and try to convince my high school to change their racist mascot, the Rebels, into something everyone in the South loves, the biscuits. I was a lady rebel.

Like, what does that even mean? It's right here in black and white in print. It's bigger than a flag or mascot. Listen to Rebel Spirit on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. MTV's official challenge podcast is back for another season. That's right. The Challenge is about to embark on its monumental 40th season, y'all, and we are coming along for the ride.

Woo-hoo! That would be me, Devin Simone. And then there's me, Davon Rogers. And we're here to take you behind the scenes of the Challenge 40, Battle of the Eras. Join us as we break down each episode, interview challengers, and take you behind the scenes of this iconic season. Listen to MTV's official Challenge podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.