The Daily Zeitgeist - Eyes Wide Santa, A Very Naughty Xmas 12.20.24

Episode Date: December 20, 2024

In this special holiday episode, Jack and Miles are joined by super producers Bei, Victor and Bryan The Editor to discuss humanity's mating season and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B. As we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone. It's John, also known as Dr. John Paul.

And I'm Jordan or Joe Ho. And we are the Black Fat Film Podcast. A podcast where all the intersections of identity are celebrated. Oh, chat. This year we have had some of our favorite people on including Kid Fury, T.S. Madison, Amber Ruffin from the Amber and Lacey show, Angela Carrasso and more. Make sure you listen to the Black Fat Film Podcast on the iHeartRadio app. Have a podcast or whatever you get your podcast girl.

Ooh, I know that's right. Hey everyone. I'm Madison Packer, a pro hockey veteran going on my 10th season in New York. And I'm Anya Packer, a former pro hockey player and now a full Madison Packer stan. Anya and I met through hockey and now we're married and moms to two awesome toddlers ages two and four. And we're excited about our new podcast, Moms Who Puck, which talks about everything from pro hockey to professional women's athletes to raising children and all the messiness

in between. So listen to Moms Who Puck on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, the internet and welcome to this very Christmas, very horny episode of Your Daily Zeitgeist! Yo ho ho! Ho ho! Mmm. To production of By Heart Radio, my name is Jack.

That over there is my cohost, Mr. Miles Gray. Yay, don't worry about me. Still a bit under the weather, but here to, look, when we're talking about horny Christmas, I resurrect. And when you're talking about horny Christmas, you gotta have Miles Gray. And Pulp Fiction, hit me with that adrenaline.

Miles on the track, ho. Hit me with that adrenaline. Hit me with that horny Christmas vile. Yeah, you were getting rest. You were out for two hours, and then the idea of horny Christmas crossed your mind and you were like, yeah Her majesty I shot up I could feel her put a permanent marker on my chest right where my heart was and I went wait I already know don't worry. You don't even have to do it. I'm up. She had a knife. You're like, oh shit Try and wake you up or whatever the horny Christmas episode you guys are over. I think you're recording that right now

We're thrilled to be joined by two of the producers on this very show super producer Yo, yo, yo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what's up, babe? Well, what's up? How are you? You know, you know, do anything. Hey, hey, we're also thrilled to be joined by super producer Victor. Right, Vic. Yo, is this horny? Is this movie horny? Yo, what is this? Oh, you know, like this horny.

All right. This bottle horny. OK. And from HR this bottle horny. Mmm. Okay and from HR Bottle horny it's Time to talk. This is a Somebody pop somebody popped in. Are you somebody popped in? Are you about to pop out? Yeah, you're not gonna introduce me check I guess so I thought that's why I thought he showed himself on camera. He was he was letting it be known. You have nothing to add before we started reporting here to be taciturn and deflated.

Make sure you guys don't get too worked up. All right. We're going in our fifth seat by our taciturn deflating editor of the show, producer behind the scenes. He's always here in the background, making sure that we don't get too excited. Yeah, let me see everyone's hands. The editor. All right. So we do this every year.

We will do this every year until Christmas accepts that it is the horny holiday. We don't need Valentine's Day. Christmas is our horny holiday. Yeah, we've talked before. It is naturally humanity's breeding period. Like when you look at when the most birthdays are, they all happen nine months after Christmas. The idea here, presumably, was that you wanted to have the kids right after the harvest back in the day so you could feed the babies, get fat, get everybody fat, fed

up. And so we have all these. Oh, is that what the reason was? That's my thinking. That's my kind of what I've always had in the back of my head. Are you that old that you remember? Or this is just from your academic research? That's for the harvest. No, just, yeah, like that would make sense. I mean, I think it's twofold, right? Everybody's like inside together, you know, at this time. So there's that.

And you know, you need body warmth to stay warm when it's cold outside. But then also I think it works out well from when the babies are born because it does come after the harvest. As we all know, T.D. Z does for new listeners, T.D. Z takes a month and a half off in the summer for the harvest.

Yeah, absolutely. We can go out more to the field. That's how we stay connected. But so that's always been my understanding is like we have this. I don't know how much of it is natural, how much of it is cultural. But we have a lot of like these pagan rituals that are meant to get like people in this mindset, get horned up for one another and then laid across the top of it though. And the reason that this it's not traditionally known as a horny holiday, we have Christianity,

anti horny, like mindset, ideology. And so they lay across it a story about like the least horny thing possible, childbirth. Or it's scandalous too. Who's the father? I mean, it is scandalous, but yeah, we don't know who the father is, but also it's like the worst case scenario

for having sex is like you're trying to give birth, but like there's no bathroom. There's no, there's no room to go. You're like, Oh God, I gotta go. We got a parking lot for donkeys. You want to do it in there? Donkeys. What about a bed? Go back there and give birth like the least comfortable place. Uh, so anyways, and you have your Christian morality across the top of it. So it creates this weird blend of like horniness, anti-horniness.

And so I think there's like a under acknowledged horniness, which is why movies like Love Actually are so popular because they're finally just like horny movie about Christmas, Christmas and horny. And people are like, I love it. Even though it's bad. That's just my take on love actually. But isn't, I mean, cause there's also that like, there was a pagan festival, right? That the Christians were like, yo, we need to fucking, we need to co-op this. Yeah. But that festival was like debauched from what I understand. I believe so.

Like, it was about the pagan deity Sol Invictus, and people were getting naked and all fucked up and shit because of that. And then I think they're like, hey man, you mind toning it down? So I wonder if those origins, they cannot be subdued even by the Bible thumping in our faces. You know what I mean? The number one thing that is going to lead to, you know, people having sex with one another is like parties and getting drunk.

And like that Christmas is the time, like it is the time that the most alcohol is consumed year round. So I think that's a big contributor to why the number one time for birthdays is still nine months after Christmas. It's that August to October run. It's yeah, yeah. Well, like specifically, like you really see it take off like straight up nine months after like Christmas to New Year's.

Like people. Hey, you know, fucking here's a Christmas story for the listeners. I was conceived after a Christmas. I know, man. This is your show is for you. Why it resonates with me so much. And to that end, I wonder if that's when Prince Harry was too. I'll have to bring that up. I'm gonna, when I meet him, I'm gonna say, hey dude, when were you conceived?

Yeah, when do you think your parents were? Cause I was conceived after Christmas. And we got the exact same birthday, dude. That's kind of weird. Whoa, whoa, why are you pulling me away? Dude. But, so we've talked about like, there's plenty of like weird horny songs,

plenty of weird horny movies in the past. Those songs, they get away with a lot though. Those songs get away with a lot. Consent does not exist in these like crooner songs when half of them are like, come on baby, your husband's gone, let's hang out in my Chevrolet. What did that drink, baby? Yeah, right. So we're going to cover just more of the same. Some of the kind of weird corniness that people would like to pretend is not there, but it's always there.

It's not going anywhere, baby. And I think we want to talk a lot about Tim Allen today. For some reason, enemy number one, public enemy number one of the horny Christmas movie. Yeah, of course, the last request, the ultimate Christmas movie. He's been in a couple kind of iconic Christmas movies, despite the fact that I don't think of him as like an iconic film actor. But I recently accidentally watched the first like 15 minutes of Christmas with the cranks. Iconically, I've been talking about this.

And Iconically, I recently watched the first 15 minutes of Christmas with the cranks because it was like alphabetically right after a Christmas story on Amazon Prime, I guess. So it just like ran right into that. And that is a movie that plays, it's Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis. And they just keep being like, you know, ready to jump all over each other. And really, she's like kind of hot in it. You know, that's Jamie Lee. She's like kind of hot in everything.

Yeah. OK. But like, she everything all at once. They's like kind of hot and everything. Yeah. OK. But like she everything I do all at once. They dowdy her up at the beginning of it. And then that's what they do to Catherine O'Hara, too, in Surviving Christmas. Right. To the point where like when you watch a movie like that, you get suspicious, you're like, they will make her hot. They're like, now with her hair looking like that, like that's intentional.

I know there's going to be the end of the second act. We're going to have some kind of glow up. And sure enough, also very horny movie. I'll get to that at some point. But anyways, Chris was the cranks. I stopped watching because I was sitting with my kids. And there's a part where she's like, all right, we're going on this cruise together and jumps on them and they're like, what's happening?

I said, not on my watch, Tim Allen. You won't, uh, let's put on a safer Tim Allen movie, the Santa Claus Santa Claus. And, uh, thus enters producer Victor Wright, uh, who is a, uh, Claus head. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, uh, I got fucked up this weekend and dove deep into the Santa Claus lore.

Um, you had to get brave. Yeah. Yeah. I got fucked up this weekend and dove deep into the Santa Claus lore. You had to get brave. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the first movie, I wrote it as a horror, like a body horror film and rewatching it, it is like he's trying to shave the Santa Claus beard off of him and then it just grows back. He can't lose weight. It's like he's just succumbing to this illness of becoming Santa Claus. If right. So David Cronenberg direct this. succumbing to this illness of becoming Santa Claus. If- Right, so just to- Did David Cronenberg direct this?

If he did, he could do this exact same plot just in a Cronenberg movie, you know? So the idea is, cause I've never seen the Santa Claus, even though I've like edited articles about the Santa Claus. You simply must. I've been too busy editing articles and talking on podcasts about the Santa Claus

to actually watch it. But the premise is that he kills Santa Claus and when you kill Santa Claus, you become Santa Claus. Yeah, it's like the Snow White. Why? Yeah, he fucked up. He put the coat on. Yeah.

Oh, so the coat is the thing. Yeah. But then was it predestined because his name is Scott Calvin SC Santa Claus? God, I love initials. Don't they? Yeah. And his initials are JC and that's going to be subtle. Most people won't get it at first, but in a hundred years, they're studying this

text now we're going to do riffing on Jesus movies. That's a movie where some of us on the JC jacket. Oh, my God. Body or your Jesus. Anyway, that's up for grabs, Disney. So body horror. He gets he gets a rolly polly is where where does the horniness? Oh, there's some stray horniness. Yeah. Yeah. Big old dick. Or what? What do you mean?

No, easy. It's still a kid. So it's PG. I don't know. Not showing. It's still a kid. So it's PG. I don't know. There's not a part of it. You really haven't seen this shit. OK, I'm sorry. Have you seen the movie? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, come on.

Have you seen the movie Big, which is a kid's movie about a body or thing? And he takes a long beat to like look down at his dick and be like, wow. This was a full seven years of evolution pass. Big was 1988. This was 1995. I years of evolution pass. Big was 1988. This was 1995. I think he says the line in the movie. He looks down and he goes, wow, Tom Hanks has a big dick. The actor, not the character.

The actor, Tom Hanks has a big dick. All right. So nothing to do with that. But what just like ambient horniness? Well, it begins with an office Christmas party and someone makes an announcement. Hey, shout out to this executive. We won't tell his wife what he's doing right now.

And he's like making out with an assistant or something just like on his lap. Uh, and then later on, once Tim Allen like goes to the North Pole, he meets Judy, the elf who's played by a nine year old girl and they have this really strange exchange where he, Tim Allen says, you know, I must say that you look pretty good for your age. And she said she's 1200 years old. And she responds with thanks,

but I'm seeing someone in rapping. Just a very strange thing for someone in his 40s. Yeah, it's a weird. Yeah, visually weird because you're like, I get the bid is like, wow, you're 1200 and you look nine. Right. Right. The other part it's like, well, how did she take? Okay. Well, anyway, I don't know what you're giving off Scott Calvin, but Yeah, and saying you look pretty good for like yeah, I don't like it Scott. Yeah Like one point

Klaus yeah, I mean there is that what's the Let the right one in is that what it the, um, let the right one in. Is that what it's called? That like the vampire Scandinavian vampire movie that has like a weird, yeah, the little girl is a vampire, but there is like a weird tension there and, uh, yeah, it plays with the creepiness of, you know, what, what should have also been acknowledged in Twilight, which is the, that guy is in his thousands. He was around like in the civil war

and is hanging out at a high school. I know, I actually rewatched it and that occurred to me and I'm like, holy shit, like he just walked in a classroom was like, I'm into this girl and she's like 16. Why are you here specifically? Is that just like, yeah, like fantasy writing for people with really questionable desires? I mean, in the context of being a vampire, you're meant to think about it too deeply. I was thinking about Scandinavian horror films while I was watching the Santa Claus is by

the way. So thank you for bringing that up. The most famous Scandinavian horror franchise, Santa Claus. I was going to say the real horniness comes in Santa Claus, too, where for some fucking reason he needs a Mrs. Claus or else he'll like cease to be Santa Claus. And that I just wrote that in Game of Thrones shit. And it's weird. Like you must give me a male heir.

What happened to the other Mrs. Claus? Because he killed Santa in the first movie. Does she just disappear? What happened to her? This is never explained in the movie. And then he goes back. Do we know that Mrs. Claus was still around? Maybe the previous Santa.

I feel like they don't even bring up a Mrs. Claus. They just don't bring it up. It's. Yeah. Mentioned. Oh, but you need a Mrs. Claus. bring up a Mrs. They just don't bring it up. It's yeah. Mentioned. Oh, but you need a Mrs. Claude. You need a Mrs. Claude. So he must have.

I was going to say maybe the previous Santa didn't have a Mrs. Claude, but you need one. It's in the bylaw. Exactly. In the clauses. It's brought up very briefly in the show. The Mrs. Claude. Yeah. Technically, no, it is. That's what they call it in the Santa Claus to the Mrs.

Claude. No, no, no. Like in the movie,, Bernard the elf is like, but there's one more thing. The Mrs. Claus is like, what the hell is that? Because he's been doing it for like a bunch of years since the first movie. Anyway, so, yeah, he's got to find him a wife within one month. He has like 28 days to find a wife. He goes on one date with Molly Shannon and she's like full on Christmas fetish, like has a buff Santa sweater. You're too thirsty.

Has like a wrist like a bracelet that's just decked out with Santa. She like sings to him and he's embarrassed. So he walks away or some shit like that. And I guess does she she sing Santa Baby? She's I think it was a knockoff because they probably couldn't get the real rights to Santa baby. Disney is famously very stingy. They're like, I don't know, man. Can we afford their licensing for this Eartha kids song? So for one week, Tim Allen just love bombs his son's principal and he uses all of his

magic to give her exactly what she wants for Christmas, makes a sleigh ride with snow, has a mistletoe like pop up when they were already about to kiss. You could have saved your magic for something else. And then when he says, Oh, I'm Santa Claus. She's like, okay. And then he says, I need you to marry me right now or else no child will get Christmas presents ever again and you'll destroy Christmas. So she marries him and then lives with him in isolation for the rest of her life. Very bizarre.

It's under duress. The proposal does come under duress, like where it's like, and Christmas hinges on you agreeing with me now. Yes. Yeah, exactly. I guess usually they will have something in the clause that's like only loves true kiss or true loves kiss. Now make this here. They're just like, we just need to technically get you married, my man. It's like a green card situation. Yeah. The subheading section one just says needs to be a female. Right. Yeah. We are not cool with that other.

That's just about like this as specific as it gets, which is very weird. It's like, just get married, please. There's there's no Mrs. Claus then. Fuck. Yeah. I mean, Santa Claus, that's that's it's got to be a hard life. And honestly, I don't know. I don't know if I was in that position. I would want to fucking Mary Santa. Like I have to live there.

Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. I'm this. I'd like I would be so in just getting to live in the North Pole. And you don't ever see your kids again. Oh, yeah. But like I get to come by every once in a while. Be like, hey, well, they're like, who are you?

Yeah. Yeah. Do you have to get down with me? And I know, like, I don't know about that, you know? Yeah, I mean, well, we're going to get into why I'm OK with that. Yeah. That part of the cause. And then I just threw in some stray horniness. Tim Allen's going to go on a date and Judge Reynolds is like, fuck, dude, you look so hot right now. You look hot.

And he's trying to like give him confidence. But I've never said that to a friend before they go to a date I'm just like oh you look good. I'm excited for you. Right? Yeah. Yeah, but he's like Fishing I have been fishing. Yeah, like Victor. What do you think about to go out on? Night with with the missus. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you look funny cool Have a good time look cool, dude. Yeah, that's cool. That Wu Tang hockey jersey is all fishnet. Yeah. Uh huh. And then, of course, the B plot is that Santa makes a clone of himself.

That's like a Ken doll who turns into an evil Mussolini like character. And when he's introduced, he's completely naked and you see like. His ass and everything. So not as horny as you would expect, but still more than you would hope because he went into the cloning device, fully clothed and that's the Santa Claus. And he's like big, right? He's big like Santa. Yeah.

He's the same size. But then Kendall version is built like a Kendall or built like, built like there's no anatomically incorrect. Okay. Got it. Yeah. All right. Damn. And now I'll never have to see the Santa Claus and that's the service that we provide here on the daily zeitgeist. I watch it every year and these movies get worse every single time. It is crazy. That is a thing that happens with so many of these movies.

Yeah. You're kind of scaring me. Oh, hey, you want some good body horror? Check it out. Yeah. That elf thing creeped me out. I don't even know if I want to watch it anymore, but I'm like, you're. I mean, pretty good for your age. You're definitely not missing out.

Make her in her 20s if you're gonna make that joke. Like what? Yeah, like a normal 90s movie. Like a normal, yeah. Let it be a 20 year age difference. Right. But a nine year old is so, like even in the 90s, they should have been like, what the fuck?

Yeah. Anyways, let's take a quick break. We'll come back, we'll talk about other secretly, conflictedly horny bits of Christmas culture. We'll be right back. ["Decisions Decisions"] Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed

and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF. And me, Mandy B. As we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both

invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that'll resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love

and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect podcast network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone, it's John, also known as Dr. John Paul and I'm Jordan or Joe Ho and we are the BlackFatFilm Podcast. A podcast where all the intersections of identity are celebrated.

Oh, chat this year we have had some of our favorite people on including Kid Fury, T.S. Madison, Amber Ruffin from the Amber and Lacey Show, Angelica Ross and more. Make sure you listen to the Black Fat Fam podcast on the iHeartRadio app, other podcasts or whatever you get your podcast girl. Ooh, I know that's right. Hi, I'm Dani Shapiro, host of the hit podcast, Family Secrets.

How would you feel if when you met your biological father for the first time, he didn't even say hello? And how would you feel if when you met your biological father for the first time, he didn't even say hello? And how would you feel if your doctor advised you to keep your life-altering medical procedure a secret from everyone? And what if your past itself was a secret and the time had suddenly come to share that past with your child? These are just a few of the powerful and profound questions we'll be asking on our eleventh season of Family Secrets. Some of you have been with us since season one and others are just tuning in. Whatever the case and wherever you are, thank you for being part of our Family Secrets family where every week we explore the secrets that are kept from us,

the secrets we keep from others, and the secrets we keep from ourselves Listen to season 11 of family secrets on the I heart radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts And we're back we're back So this creates like a weird dissonance, right? Where like you have some things that are just like the media not being able to like get their mind around the fact that Christmas is horny. And so they like write these bullshit articles about how like there are your head around this fact. Right.

Well, there's this one article, the Daily Mail, the Supervisor Victor found that is just I found it for the record. Actually, I found it and sent it to miles. So, oh, OK. Well, you said, you know, I'm joking. I'm just fucking with you. Oh, what the hell? I'm sure you guys actually I incepted. I knew you all were so always against me.

You were always against me. And you're taking advantage of me and my incapacitated flu like steak. Steak? Steak. Hey, we're just gonna go with steak. Yeah, leave it. So the headline is, are you obsessed with Christmas jumpers?

You might have a sexual fetish for wool, scientist says. And then it's just all about how like some people are into like seeing people wearing wool. And sometimes people are into wearing wool and like it makes them not unhorny. Like it's it's the whole thing is just like really, I don't know. It's it's reckless. It's starting off. Are you like they they start off the headline like, hey, you fuck with Christmas sweaters and like, yeah, maybe it's like you might be a wolf freak.

Watch your ass. They have all these pictures of people in like sweaters while like, you know, scantily clad otherwise and just like a weird stock photo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But the photos, the sound the photos make is, oh, yeah, they definitely are moaning. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and then it goes on to just merely describe like one guy, like who is an expert in behavioral addiction at a university in the UK.

Just saying like there are some people called Woolies. But then he also admits is like, there's not any research on this. I don't know what's going on there. I mean, I know a couple of people. I was on a Discovery Channel show and I interviewed a guy in America who loved sweaters So it never circles back to Christmas in any way So I'm like, wow, I think in a way Jack

They are acknowledging that Christmas is horny and they're merely baiting readers in with this like you're just trying to like force it Yeah, salacious headline daily mail article. Yeah For sure What is their individuals who derive sexual pleasure and arousal from wearing wool typically in the form of full body wool suits? Uh, next paragraph, given that there is absolutely no scientific research on either that the fetish does not really exist or that it is relatively new, newly realized fetish. I mean the fact that there's a name for it means that it does exist, right?

Right. You just made it up. It exists now, man. Woolies. Woolies. I like that the guy's not willing to be fully immoral and be like, yeah, it exists. It's a thing. There's research. And he's like, well, there's no research, so it might not even be a thing anyway. We're like, well, at least he's transparent. Wait. He acknowledges that there's no research.

I have a question. Is it like, do they want to fuck the sweater or do they want to fuck the person in the sweater? No, it's like, and one was like, it was describing a myriad of ways people were aroused by the look of it. One guy was about seeing people in sweaters. Another person was about wearing all wool on their body and getting aroused like that.

And those are the two sort of examples they gave. And then they're like, and they're actually, they don't celebrate Christmas. We asked them. They're just, it's year round. It's year round. On the other hand, we did want to, so there's obviously that scene in Bad Santa where, yep, the actress from, yeah, from Gilmore Girls,

is like, I have a big Santa fetish cut to the car is a rockin' between a bad Santa and Gilmore Girl. So it would make sense that Santa fetishes are a thing because I don't know, like, if Christmas horniness is real and like, I feel like what we know about fetishes is it's like a lot of shit that's like imprinted on people when they're young, you know? And a lot of people have experiences with Santa when they're young. Like it's a, it is a huge figure in childhood.

I think there's, there's, there's a, there's an article in the American board of Sexology that gets right to the point where they're like, why the fuck do people wanna bang Santa so bad? And this is what they say. Many argue that, this is a quote from the americanboardofsexology.org. Now, take, I don't know what that is. It could just be a group of dudes

who hang out at a McDonald's every Friday and write their ideas down. But this is what the article says, quote, many argue that Santa is the ultimate daddy Dom. He's a kind yet firm, soft yet strong, capable older man who's always watching us, asking us exactly what we want and ready to give us just what we need or to punish us when the time is right. And I'm like, hmm, that's a really horny way to look at it. Yeah. Like they seem horny as they're writing this description. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which I appreciate. There was an article on Santa porn a psychologist Justin Lay Miller wrote. It said, quote, when you think about it that way, Santa is tailor-made for role-playing in BDSM scenes, which is why he's typically a Dom in porn. Although scenes that invert his obvious role as the ever-watching daddy

and see him punished are not unknown. So I mean, I think that I think that that gives us a good idea that you know, Santa is he brings something out of us. Other people say, however, that it's the Santa is a warm safe figure and some people latch onto and sexualize the security that he represents. This is all, you know, I still either way, presence or not. I think he's, you know, he's cute. Yeah, he's definitely cute. And like he's also I think it's the same thing that we see with

like all of the deviant art, like main figures, you know, like all the characters that were iconic to you when you were a kid. You're going to see a lot of them doing unspeakable shit on the internet. Now, also, we have other interpretations of Santa. It used to just be like the jolly old guy. But even in the article, it's like David Harbour's gritty take on Santa or like guys dressed up in like sexy Santa attire. So when you sex it up, obviously it's gonna turn sexy, right?

Right. I think this probably, it could be a very American thing, but I feel like just generally in American society, culture, we just feel so unprotected and so vulnerable to larger forces that someone like the sheer fact that Santa is a protector sends the horniness up because we do this all the fucking time. People wanted to fuck Cuomo when he was the governor. Remember there were the Cuomo

sexuals during COVID because they're like, he's giving us an idea. Everyone wanted to bang Dr. Fauci. Everyone wanted to like had a thing for like Robert Mueller early on. There's just all these like weird figures that potentially stand to you know portray some like Protector kind of thing feels again. This feels like Santa can also fit into that group of just kind of like yeah And he's a good guy and he's judge jury executioner yeah, I don't know we're broken I think Bay what do you what's your your your face looks like you You're broken, I think. Bae, what's your face looks like? I just can't with the Andrew Cuomo and Fauci.

They look like they're breath smells. They do look like they're breath smells. It didn't matter because at the time, COVID was fucking everything up and these people sort of stood as people who were almost like, we're going to get through it. We can figure this out. And you're like, yeah, your breath might stink, but let's let's fog up this Chevy Nova together. And it's also a time of the year when a lot of people are experiencing economic insecurity. And so like he stands outside the system.

He's the one figure who's like not controlled by the market. You know, he's just like he's very red, you know, and meant more ways than one. So I feel like that might be attractive to people. Yeah, it's just I like this whole article. It's really thorough because they're like, it could be this. Maybe you're in the BDSM. Maybe you just latch on to people that are protect that protect you. Maybe it's just that people get off on, quote, transgressing the wholesome and

religious nature of Christmas as personified in Santa Claus, which we see like how the transgression with IP characters sort of manifests in different ways too. So like there's definitely that. And then they go on to say, the diversity of ideas about why people might develop a fetish for Santa probably isn't a sign of ill-informed sexpert flailing. Instead, it's a sign of just how many elements of St. Nick people could potentially latch onto. In fact, Santa's clear latent sex appeal led at least three writers to declare him an unsung sex symbol in

2020, independent of any dedicated fetish built around the man. 2020 was a big year. So he's like kind of a sugar daddy. He is the only adult who gets away with saying naughty in like a non sexual way. You know, like the only other time naughty is used as like, oh, or if you're like, if you're like, use it like in like British English, yeah, they don't say it miles. Come on. That's the only time I hear it. I go, eww, go back to England, you freak. Oh, my gosh. that kick was not naughty. What are you saying, dude?

Yeah. There's also Santa's Secret, a variety show to put you on the naughty list that is mostly just a like burlesque show type vibe. In LA. Should we go? Probably. That's where our Christmas party should have been. If I didn't fuck up and.

Wait, it's at the Beverly Center? Is it really? Yo, this map, oh wow. Wait, what is this map? Oh, okay, nevermind. There was like an icon on the map. It was either a penis or the back of a curvy woman with a Santa hat on yeah, it's uh

I'm sorry, but just just so everyone doesn't think I've absolutely lost my mind. It's a pin What is it? It's like a pin It's a pushpin I thought that was a thong and those were yeets. That's why I look so close up to the camera That was a thong and those were yeets. That's why I look so close into the camera Of this fucking episode I looked at that shit I said that's a penis with a Santa hat on it It's like Wow miles is hungry everyone turns into steaks It's a literal fucking push pin. Oh shit with a Santa hat on it. Wow. All right Miles is looking at us with big like big hams right now

That does feel like something they would actually the Sexologists over at sexology org would be like, okay. Well, you know this what you see is wrong with me I'm looking at again Plastic pushpin like anyone will put on a bulletin board Let me make sure you guys see this so you know that I'm not weird Victor that's a push pin, dude. No. All right. Let's take one more quick break.

We'll come back, cover anything that we missed. We'll be right back. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF and me, Mandy B. As we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex and love. That's right.

Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests

to relatable stories that'll resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey everyone, it's John, also known as Dr. John Paul, and I'm Jordan or Joe Ho. And we are the BlackFatFilm Podcast, a podcast

where all the intersections of identity are celebrated. Ooh, chat. This year we have had some of our favorite people on including Kid Fury, T.S. Madison, Amber Ruffin from the Amber and Lacey show, Angela Carras and more. Make sure you listen to the Black Fat Fam podcast on the iHeart Radio app, have a podcast or whatever you get your podcast girl.

Ooh, I know that's right. Hi, I'm Dani Shapiro, host of the hit podcast, Family Secrets. How would you feel if when you met your biological father for the first time, he didn't even say hello? And how would you feel if your doctor advised you to keep your life-altering medical procedure a secret from everyone? And what if your past itself was a secret

and the time had suddenly come to share that past with your child. These are just a few of the powerful and profound questions we'll be asking on our eleventh season of Family Secrets. Some of you have been with us since season one, and others are just tuning in. Whatever the case, and wherever you are, thank you for being part of our Family Secrets family, where every week we explore the secrets that are kept from us, the secrets we keep from others, and the secrets we keep

from ourselves. Listen to Season 11 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. We're back. And we did check out a list of holiday, like, horniest Christmas movies. Ghost of Girlfriend's Past, I believe, was on there. Reindeer Games, Bad Santa, Four Christmases, two Nicole Kidman joints. You got Eyes Wide Shut and then Baby Girl, which is. Her eyes wide shut is such a bummer.

I don't know. I don't. I mean, I get that there's like snow happening around this time. A lot of Christmas. Well, they go to a Christmas party. Yeah. Right, right, right, right, right. It is. I mean, I think we need. I think Kubrick was, you know, he's mining a lot of stuff that's happening. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. for toys for Christmas. If just them going to a party, if that's not enough, is Die Hard not a Christmas movie? It's like in that same vein where Christmas is happening in the background

and people just put it on, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's enough. Yeah. Like as long as you're seeing Santa hats, usually. Yeah. That is it. I guess that's why it's funny because over the weekend, a friend of mine was saying that like his partner, she was like, hey, let's watch Eyes Wide Shut. And he was like, I don't know, like that doesn't really feel like the kind of Christmas movie we should watch. They put it on. She fell asleep fucking five minutes into it and then like came to like an hour and a half in and he was just sitting there like Ashenface. Like he's like, do we have to keep watching this?

The beginning is so slow and boring that you're either out or you're in for the whole thing. Like, yeah, I've done so hard to stay awake all asleep, too. Yeah. Because Nicole Kimmins performance is like she's on quail eggs at that party in the beginning. There's no weird. They're both so weird. It just makes you want to go to sleep.

Well, they're both playing stoned people. And they're both two people who I would venture to guess have never smoked pot in their life. Yeah. At least at that point in their lives. I think the end scene there, like an FAO Schwartz or like a KB Toys. Right, right. And Nicole Kidman utters her famous line there. I should have kept my eyes wide shut. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't the titular line. There's a lot of good theories on that movie.

Like weird, like there's creepy people who keep showing up in the background of the movie. Yeah. And I think that's a lot of good theories on that movie, like weird, like there's creepy people who keep showing up in the background of the of the movie. And they're like all showing up in the background at F.A.O. Schwartz. And so it's like he's about to be taken out, basically, is one of the theories that it's kind of a soprano's ending. Oh, wow. I like that movie.

Yeah, that movie's grown on me. I have to say, if anyone at this point hasn't watched it yet, surviving Christmas is something you should watch. Anyone who hasn't watched it. Yeah, there's horniness. There's some... It's bizarre. It is weird how the sort of horniness does seep into a Christmas film when it's absolutely unnecessary.

Long story short, there's a part where like a guy basically sees that his mom is doing porn on the Internet and it has nothing to do with anything really. Or it does, but it's very confusing. And I just found myself saying this did not feel very jolly. But again, I guess it is it is it is jolly What's it rate? Is it what's it rated? Is it PG or is it are it's I mean? It's probably a thing that should have been our but back in the day was just PG 13 sure yeah I don't think that's in because he's only 14 years old. Yeah, yeah, I'll buy you take it though, man. Thanks

It is interesting like even children's Christmas movies tend to there's just like a dash. It's just like an acknowledgement of, you know, like a Christmas story, which I just watched for the second time in my life. This time as an adult. I just don't fuck with that movie necessarily. But to me, the only thing that I remember was that leg lamp. The leg is. But that's horny. Right. That's what I mean. I was like, the first thing I remember is that weird ass

lacy leg lamp. Yeah. His dad gets a leg lamp. That's like a, I don't know, like a leg with stockings and a very like horny thing in the middle of this movie that otherwise is just like told from the perspective of like a seven year old. There's just yeah, everybody who makes Christmas movies are like, well, we got to admit that this is pretty, pretty horny. There's some debauched. Yeah. Again, it has to go. I think it must. It's got it. I don't know. That's the hard part. It's the chicken or the egg. You know what I mean? Is it Santa that made everyone horny? Is that because before this was just like something that humans were doing? It's an ancient longing, Miles, that has passed down to us.

I need real, I mean, obviously aside from our very thorough academic research here, we need to be seconded by some other paper that definitively gets to it. Or is it a mix of both? Just make a website. Bridget Jones, who wants to speak? Yeah. Sexology.org. Miles is horny Christmas website.

Just put doctor in quotation marks and you're fine. Yeah. Oh, shit. Bridget Jones is a classic movie that I have not seen. Is that a fairly horny film? I don't know. Is it a Christmas movie? I haven't seen that shit in a long time. It's a Christmas movie, but I haven't. I don't know. a fairly horny film? Is it a Christmas movie? I haven't seen that shit in a long time. It's a Christmas movie, but I haven't. I don't know. What do you guys think?

Is it I think it I think it's kind of horny. No, probably. I mean, isn't that a lot about it like her crushes and shit, isn't it? Yeah. Like it's not. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's it's it's just because like in the scene where she's in the office and they're emailing each other. She's emailing her boss, like, oh, he's like, I like your skirt.

And she's like, cool. And is it a Christmas skirt? It's not, I don't think, I think it's like a brown skirt or something, like a mini skirt. But he's like, oh. He's like sexually harassing her and it's totally not okay, but I guess, you know, it's OK. And there's a pre 9-11 world.

It was a pre 9-11 world. We got to give them a pass. Came out April 13th, 2001. You know, they know not what they do. Yeah. Although they probably did. It's OK because it's Hugh Grant. You know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Is there is there a Christmas movie that you can't make horny at all?

I feel like Home Alone might be it like there's nothing really horny about Home Alone, right? Well, it gets problematic when there's a lot of kid that kids acting in it I think right like home princess polar Express the train. It's a train maybe going into a tunnel. Yeah, uh-huh a famous into a tunnel. Yeah. Uh-huh. A famous, erotic bit of imagery. But Home Alone, I just can't.

Yeah. I don't see it. Home Alone 2 has one scene where Kevin needs to like run away from the sticky bandits. So he pinches a woman's butt and then she thinks it's like Marv or something. Right. Like just, yeah, she doesn doesn't the shit out of him. Is it the sticky bandits or the wet bandits? The sticky bandits in the second one?

Yeah, they've got a new gimmick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was with a bunch of tape on their hands and they go to Salvation Army Buckets. You know what? Stuff. Guess what, guys? Home Alone 1 also has a horny moment where he one of the very first things he does when he is alone is he looks at some dirty magazines and then is like why is nobody wearing clothes and like throws it over his head so i was looking for fashion yeah yeah exactly uh so there's an acknowledgement that buzz is

jacking off all okay everyone go around and say your favorite horny Christmas movie now. Oh boy. Favorite horny Christmas movie. I'm just going to say mine's Bad Santa. That shit is problematic. That's my problematic fave, Bad Santa. Maybe Batman Forever.

Oh, meow. Or sorry, Batman Returns. Yeah. That's the one. Yeah, yeah. That Michelle Pfeife life? Mine's gotta be live action Grinch. The key party is not subtle. Oh yeah.

I didn't know what that was when I was five. Do you like that movie? Or you just... I don't, but it's just... It's your horniest Christmas. It's my horniest Christmas. But you watch it every year on ABC Family, because that was like the one movie they had licensing for and it just grew on me. You know, yeah.

Bay. Bad Santa is pretty bad. I rewatched it recently and it's just like, wow, it's it's fucking crazy. So good. Like it's so the humor. It's just on a gremlin level. You know? BOTH LAUGH Wait, what does that mean?

I just, it's, the jokes are just so, um... Grimy? Yeah, it's so grimy and crass in a way. It's like, it's like me and my friends, like, joking. Joking around and the writers just get it. I don't know when you'll see a like another like a Christmas movie written like that, because it's just like it's basically like this guy is the biggest piece of shit ever.

And I think there's something about that that I find enjoyable during the holidays because you can juxtapose your own life with that and go, wow, this guy's not very non PC. And I like that. And if you've ever worked retail during the holidays, that's like the perfect movie to like, Oh, I'm not the only one. You know, I get it. Yeah.

Right. Brian, what about you? Uh, I'm, I am a big fan of eyes wide shut. Uh, then just enjoying that movie since it came out. Um, Oh, here's my, here's my actual answer. Black Christmas, it's a horror movie. The original ones came out in the 70s. It's horny, it's funny,

has a bit of political commentary in it, and yeah, that would be my pick. Whoa. Wow, we saw high-minding with a deep-cut Canadian movie? Okay, that's a classic. Yeah, like that one my pick. Oh, wow. We saw high mining with a deep cut Canadian movie. OK, that's a classic. Yeah, like that one. You know, this poster is wild. I know it's so it's a great movie.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it's very enjoyable any time of year, but especially during Christmas. It's just like it's like a wild like proto slasher film. Wow. Margot Kidders in it. Okay, dude, this poster is fucking wild. It's super cool. Shout out to the poster because that also given or nay. Yeah, it's, I do have to say like, well, Batman returns might be my favorite horny Christmas movie.

It's not my favorite horny piece of Christmas culture. That would have to be as Supervisor Victor pointed out. The Folgers incest commercial is a piece of Christmas horniness like that. He, Oh my God. Does everybody know the Folgers incest commercial? Yeah. Where the brother comes home and it's just like, they are on the verge of jumping all over each other from the moment she opens the door and it's supposed to be a brother and sister. She like puts the bow on him.

She's like, you're my present this year. What is the, is there like a turn in it? Like when do you, when do you know they're siblings? Okay. So here's the guy coming home. So he comes to the door. I must have the wrong house. She's so happy.

Sister. Oh, right there. So off-rib. Yeah. She goes, sister. Yeah. She goes sister. Yeah. Sorry. I'm stuck in the cupboard getting the folder. Could you come help me? Oh my gosh. I think it's in the dryer Look at that look and then this part here watch what happens with their eyes here Yeah, the look down he's like the parents come in and they say why you guys are jumping the fuck? What the fuck also what an asshole he comes back from West Africa and he goes like ah Folgers real coffee Not like the bullshit they have over in West Africa

Coffee beans are sourced Ethiopian coffee is gross. I Ethiopian coffee is gross. I can't even take it. I need real Arabica beads. Yeah. What the frig? Anyway, sis, can I give you my theory on this commercial? Yeah.

My guess is like everyone in the test screening thought they were boyfriend and girlfriend or like husband and wife. And the writer is like, no, no, no, they're brother and sister. So that's why they added. Oh, I'm your sister. I'm your brother. Right. And could you imagine you look back, their hair is like six inches longer from that shot than the other part.

Hey, like this was a reshoot. Well, it is. Yeah. The opening. He's like, oh, sorry, I must have the wrong house. And she's like, your sister. Which like, yeah, I'm your sister is such a weird thing. He's like, God damn a weird thing to say. And he's like, Gat, dang! Merry Christmas to me.

Can we cut that part out? We'll cut that part out. What other notes y'all got? We cut the part where he says, Gat. Yeah. Gat! The origin of Gat is the fucking uncensored, the red band commercial for Folgers. Yeah.

All right. Well, what a sick episode of our show that we've done. For Miles, it's appropriate enough that you came back for this one. I had to. Look, I'm barely hanging on, as demonstrated by my complete hallucination over a Ordinary push pin and I was like yo that push pin thick as hell 10 wood What is wrong with me?

Alright guys look at this push pin, wood? Yo why did I Yo that was so fucking Oh my god, whatever y'all I'm sick, help me It's the pseudo-ephedrine, it's fucking me up I think Alright, that's gonna do it for this episode Oh my God, whatever y'all. I'm sick, help me. It's the pseudo-ephedrine. It's fucking me up, I think. All right, that's gonna do it for this episode.

This drops on Friday. We'll be back on Monday with the gift guide and then day after for Santa University. Do not miss a new installment of Santa University. Don't, don't you do it. It's where we do all of our downloads for the year. Please come to Santa University. We'll also be dropping our top 10 episodes based on listens and votes from you guys

over the next 10 days. So tune in to those as well. And we'll be back. We'll talk to you all soon. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. [♪ MUSIC PLAYING FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF. And me, Mandy B. As we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms.

Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, it's John, also known as Dr. John Paul. And I'm Jordan or Joe Ho. And we are the BlackFatFilm Podcast.

A podcast where all the intersections of identity are celebrated. Ooh, chat! This year we have had some of our favorite people on including Kid Fury, T.S. Madison, Amber Ruffin from the Amber and Lacey Show, Angelica Ross, and more. Make sure you listen to the Black Fat Fam podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Alpha Podcast, or whatever you get your podcast, girl. Ooh, I know that's right. Hey, girl. Ooh, I know that's right. Hey everyone. I'm Madison Packer, a pro hockey veteran going on my 10th season in New York.

And I'm Anya Packer, a former pro hockey player and now a full Madison Packer stan. Anya and I met through hockey and now we're married and moms to two awesome toddlers, ages two and four. And we're excited about our new podcast, Moms Who Puck, which talks about everything from pro hockey to professional women's athletes to raising children and all the messiness in between. So listen to Moms Who Puck on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.